dUal aCtion ePistle

 Famous First Words: This book was written in the hope... Herbert Marcuse On Dialectics

Happy Robin Hood Days! Those wanted posters that were up all over Sherwood Forest, they were printed in Serif of Nottingham font. At one time July 19^th was St Vincent de Paul Feast Day. Vincent de Paul was a 17^th century priest who cared for the poor and marginalized. In my lifetime they ran thrift stores. I thought the movie Good Will Hunting was about thrift stores. Spoiler alert, it's not.

..........I tell myself, “What's done is done”.........Vikki Carr …..It Must Be Him

The history of mankind is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations on the part of man toward woman... --Declaration of Sentiments Seneca Fall Women's Rights Convention 1848

It is a beautiful Friday morning. 65°F is just a little cool and a 2 mph breeze is just enough to emphasize the “not quite cold”ness of it. Our willow tree is hardly moving at all and the mulberry waits for squirrels and birds to create motion, light and bouncy under the fat robin but rapid and unpredictable with the squirrel brothers. The sky is absolutely blue without a cloud or a jet trail for contrast. A mourning dove sits on the utility wires and mourns for us while a variety of unseen species sing praises to the newborn sun. I take a long sip of decaf and listen as Veronica the cat bats a jingling ball down the hallway and silently paces after it. A pine incense smoulders in the waterfall burner and the smoke snakes down the levels looking, indeed, like water dripping down a tiny rock ledge. What a comfortable morning. Happy Today!

Hope your weekend is first hand fun, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Snoring is basically bragging about being asleep, so loudly, that it stops other people from sleeping. It's like lying there screaming, “I'M HAVING A LOVELY SLEEP”. --Chris Ramsey --Submitted by SH

Legolas and Robin Hood were seen running from the Olympics. It makes them deparchers. Yesterday there was a fire at the Vincent de Paul store in Armourdale; one of the spectators died of second-hand smoke.

..........We'll have to pay for the love we stole.........Flying Burrito Brothers with Bernie Leadon …..Dark End Of The Street

Trivia Questions: Happy National Pajama Day!

• ^ Where did pajamas originate?
• ^^ When did pajamas come to the west?
• ^^^ What do you know about the word pajama?
• ^^^^ Where did footie pajamas come from?
• ^^^^^ In the US, what percentage of people wear pajamas to bed.

Big Hello: Salibonani – Ndebele (Northern Zimbabwe) (How to Pronounce Ndebele (youtube.com) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The world would be a better place if we all raised vegetables instead of voting for them.

Image of the Week: Puck - Before ...to be continued

Library Laugh of the Week: Let's turn an old bus into a mobile library, fill it with banned books, drive to conservative areas, and give them to the kids. We could call it “Banned on the Run” Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Robin Hood had many arrow escapes. You know you're a thrift-store-aholic when the highlight of your vacation is shopping at strange new thrift stores in new exotic cities.

..........Your prison is walking through this world all alone.........Eagle with Bernie Leadon …..Desperado

Moonbeam: Worry is evidence of an ill-controlled brain; it is merely a stupid waste of time in unpleasantness. --Dr Charles W Mayo

Blasphemy of the Week: If God made a man in his own image, why aren't we all, like......invisible? --Father Guido Sarducci --Submitted by rg of kc

Puzzle of the Week: From Dan Pitt, of Palo Alto, CA: Think of something in two words (7,5) that you might take camping. The phrase has seven consonants, which are all different and appear in alphabetical order through the phrase. What camping item is this?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I heard that Project 2024 is a lot easier to understand in the original German. --Occupy Democrats --Submitted by jm of ks

I overheard the sheriff of Nottingham complaining that Robin Hood was dominating the 24-Hour news cycles. The Salvation Army has started a new nationwide 12-step program for thrift-store addicts.

..........Ooo I like the way it feels..........Nitty Gritty Dirt Band with Beanie Leadon …..One Step Over The Line

^ Pajamas are soft garments which were adopted in the Western world as nightwear. These soft garments originated in India and southern Iran

Almanac: It is Friday, July 19, 2024. The moon will be full (Buck) on Sunday (7/21) and is in Capricorn. It is Celebration of The Horse Day, Hemingway Look-Alike Day, and Words With Friends Day. It is also Robin Hood Days (19-20). Because it is the 3rd Friday it is National Pajama Day and Parks & Recreation Professionals Day.

Among those born on this day were Edgar Degas (1834), Lizzie Borden (1860), Charles Mayo (1865), Herbert Marcuse (1898), George McGovern (1922), Vikki Carr (1938), Roy D. Bridges (1943), Bernie Leadon (1947), Brian May (1947), and Kathleen Turner (1954).

On July nineteenth Egyptian calendar was instituted (2781 BCE), Lady Jane Grey was deposed (1554), the first woman's rights convention opened (1848), the railroad finally reached Kansas (1860), the first Wimbledon championship was held (1877), the San Francisco public library began lending books (1880), Ty Cobb got his 4,000th hit (1927), fiberglass sutures were first used (1939), the Apollo spacecraft went into lunar orbit (1967), the Moscow summer olympic opened (1980), Geraldine Ferraro won the nomination of Democratic VP (1984), and the Richard Nixon library opened (1990).

Night Sky, 7/19: The nearly full Moon tonight shines in the handle of the Sagittarius Teapot. Cover the Moon with your fingertip to help reveal the stars near it. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Ollie and Max literally hanging out

This Week: Saturday, July 20 – Moon Day & Space Exploration Day & World Chess Day & World Jump Day

Sunday, July 21 – National Ice Cream Day & National Be Someone Day

Night Sky, 7/21: The low Moon this evening forms a huge, nearly vertical line with Altair about three fists above it and Vega the same distance above Altair, near the zenith. Look just a finger-width at arm's length above Altair for its eternal little sidekick Tarazed (Gamma Aquilae), a modest magnitude 2.7 compared to Altair's showy 0.7. But looks are deceiving. Altair looks so bright because it's one of our near neighbors, just 17 light-years away. Tarazed is an orange giant star about 380 light-years farther in the background — and it's 170 times more luminous than Altair!

Monday, July 22 – Casual Pi Day & National Mango Day & Spooners aka Spoonerisms Day

Tuesday, July 23 – Gorgeous Grandma Day & Hot Enough For Ya Day & National Sprinkle Day

Wednesday, July 24 – Cousins Day & Tell An Old Joke Day

Night Sky, 7/24: Neptune, magnitude 7.9 in Pisces, is 12° east of Saturn before dawn begins — easier if you have large binoculars or a telescope. Neptune's disk is a mere 2.3 arcseconds wide, hardly more than the size of a star's seeing disk during ordinary seeing.

Thursday, July 25 – Carousel Day & Hire A Veteran Day & National Refreshment Day & Wine and Cheese Day

Robin Hood on LinkedIn: Activist/Chief fundraiser at Nottingham. I may be a beginner at some things, but I've got a black belt in thrift store shopping.

..........Will you do the Fandango.........Queen with Brian May …..Bohemian Rhapsody

^^ One of the earliest known references to pajamas dates back to the 1600s when a Frenchman named Jean de Thevenot mentioned the Portuguese wore them when going to bed in his travelogue.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one. --Submitted by ff of ks

Peace is the only adequate war memorial.

Moonbeam: Study well and travel to the stars. --Roy D Bridges Jr

Reader Response: A video of rodeo jokes and a song. Robert Earl Keen - Copenhagen (Live in Dallas) (Official Audio) (youtube.com) --Submitted by vr of +66

Video of the Week: 7 ½ Cents – A union song from the musical The Pajama Game The Pajama Game | 7 1/2 Cents (Seven and a Half Cents) | Motion Picture #pjgame - YouTube --Doris Day, Jack Straw, and the Chorus (3:44)

In entering upon the great work before us, we anticipate no small amount of misconception, misrepresentation, and ridicule; but we shall use every instrumentality within our power to affect our object. --Declaration of Sentiments Seneca Fall Women's Rights Convention 1848

Robin Hood's doctor diagnosed him; it's menintightis. I finally gave up and joined TA, Thrifters Anonymous.

..........Gonna take on the world someday..........Queen with Brian May …..We Will Rock You

^^^ The word “pajamas” is used in America, which comes from the word “pae-jama” in Hindi which means leg clothing or leg garment and dates as far back as the 13th century Ottoman Empire. The British and Australians spell it pyjama.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The forest holds many secrets … and many ticks. So many damned ticks.

Weird Word of the Week: oojah ('u:dʒa:) useful device which doesn't have a name, or something which does have a proper name but which you've temporarily forgotten (aka thingumabob, doohickey or whatchamacallit) Oojah (worldwidewords.org)

Dragon of the Week: The Jade or Sherwood Dragon – some say it originated in Sherwood Forest in Nottinghamshire.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prewash stains on clothes. Wet the fabric, and sprinkle Cascade on the stain. Scrub gently with an old toothbrush, rinse, and run through the regular wash cycle. Cascade®: Wacky Uses

Robin Hood laundred his money through a small business, Sherwood Florist. I like to take long romantic walks through thrift stores.

...........But the weather forecast is plain.........Nitty Gritty Dirt Band with Bernie Leadon …..Brass Sky

^^^^ The Chinese created footie pajamas, which are still made, proving popular with parents of babies and toddlers who won’t keep their covers on.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it's empty. --African Proverb --Submitted by ma of va

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: JoMoCon (20, Joplin, MO) ...passions of the nerdverse... JoMoCon - Home

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Earth Educators Rendezvous 2024 (15-19, Philadelphia, PA) On the Cutting Edge Rendezvous 2024 (carleton.edu)

Distant Cousin of Image of the Week: After

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Coleman Stove (c..l..m..n..s..t..v)

Robin Hood was on his deathbed in his little house in Sherwood Forest. Maid Marian, Friar Tuck, and the rest of the Merry Men gathered at his side. Robin whispered, "Bring me a bow and arrow. I'll shoot into the forest and wherever the arrow lands, that is where you must bury me". The bow duly arrived and Robin shot an arrow for the very last time. And so, with heavy hearts and many tears, Robin's friends buried him on top of the wardrobe.

..........She's got the moon in her eyes.........Eagles with Bernie Leadon …..Witchy Woman

^^^^^ A survey suggested that 74% of us wear pajamas to bed, 8% sleep nude, and the rest are clothed in something else.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: Teletubby Recruiters: Jerry Falwell saw something off about Tinky Winky, the largest pal in Teletubbyland. “He is purple—the gay pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a triangle—the gay pride symbol,” Falwell wrote in an issue of his own magazine. The character had a boy’s voice, he continued, but he often carried a red purse—ahem. The article was titled “Parents Alert: Tinky Winky Comes Out of the Closet.” Jerry Falwell and Tinky Winky, the gay Teletubby. (slate.com)

Quote of the Week: That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest. --Henry David Thoreau

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Pre means before. Post means after. To use both prefixes together would be preposterous... --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Today's Peace of History, July 19, 1958: Several black teenagers, members of the local NAACP chapter (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People), entered downtown Wichita’s Dockum Drug Store (then the largest drugstore chain in Kansas) and sat down at the lunch counter. This was the first instance of a sit-in to protest segregationist policies. ~~It lasted 2 weeks and was totally successful.

Robin Hood's favorite television show is Archer. Captain Hook got his hook at the second-hand store.

..........No sweeping exits or offstage lights.........Flying Burrito Brothers with Bernie Leadon …..Wild Horses

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, 2024, dUal aCtion ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in. --George McGovern

Cost of War:

• As of 07/18/24 State Department Costs: $241,167,455,132.
• As of 07/11/24 State Department Costs: $240,602,272,421.
• As of 07/18/24 Homeland Security: $1,173,664,695,216.
• As of 07/11/24 Homeland Security: $1,173,050,798,411.
• As of 07/18/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,232,709,317,418.
• As of 07/11/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,231,130,764,111.
• As of 07/18/24 Military Costs: $3,095,631,242,609.
• As of 07/11/24 Military Costs: $3,094,432,756,599.
• As of 07/18/24 Veterans Care: $3,769,513,972,329.
• As of 07/11/24 Veterans Care: $3,757,549,638,276.
• As of 07/18/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,512,687,051,250.
• As of 07/11/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,496,768,171,921.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Firmly relying upon the final triumph of the Right and the True... --Declaration of Sentiments Seneca Fall Women's Rights Convention 1848

Last Minute Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why didn't I think to invest in Confederate Ear Bandages? --Submitted by mm of ia

Famous Last Words: ...but my soul will be justified before God. --Lady Jane Grey

..........You're just too good to be true.........Vikki Carr …..Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You

Robin Hood never missed; he was an arrow-dynamic shooter. May the thrift shop odds be ever in your favor.

May Peace be your mission
And Joy be your legacy
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: Salute to Parks & Recreational Professionals on their day

rOped ePistle

 Famous First Words: The Congress shall have power... US Constitution 16th Amendment

July is Rodeo Month! Actually, this is my first rodeo. First, let's straighten out some myths. Bulls DO NOT have love handles, they have rodeo grips.

..........You've got a way of lifting me up….......Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Love In Store

All bad precedents begin as justifiable measures. --Julius Caesar

It is a warm (83°F) Friday morning. Sun is shining in a near cloudless sky and a 9 mph breeze shakes the mulberry and the sunflower plants. I have been to the doctor (my regular one, not the hip one) who said my incision is not infected, “they always look like that”. So I can stop worrying about that and get on with walking around without pain. This morning is so far along that the birds have come and gone, the squirrels too have come and gone, and now I get to write to you – not a bad morning at all.

Hope your weekend is as exciting as a bull ride, ePistlers, but lasts longer.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's okay to cut negative people out of your life, just don't use your fabric scissors. --Submitted by sb of ar

Bareback Riding by Eiffel Down and Lord Howard Hertz. Most certainly the definitive work on the subject. / Bull Rider pick up lines: Got 8 seconds?

..........like they know the score.........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Songbird

Trivia Questions: Happy 129^th Birthday to Oscar Hammerstein II !

• ^ How many musicals did he write – all or in part?
• ^^ Who did Oscar collaborate with before Richard Rodgers?
• ^^^ How many of those musicals did Oscar write with Rodgers?
• ^^^^ Where did Oscar go to college?
• ^^^^^ Do you know Oscar's full name?

Big Hello: Oraire ota - Nkore (Uganda) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain. --Lily Tomlin

Literary Joke of the Week: British novel: Let's go to a party and find a wife. German novel: Let's go to the wilderness and find ourselves. Russian novel: Let's go to the depths of despair and then find out there is an even deeper level of despair we didn't know about and go there. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Weird Headline of the Week: Nebraska regent suggests putting fans' ashes under the football field. --apnews.com

Some friends of mine recently took up freestyle bullfighting. It sure didn't take them long to get hooked. / Steer Wrestling Motto: Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

..........So let yourself go and let love begin..........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Think About Me

Moonbeam: I am a passenger on the spaceship, Earth. --Buckminister Fuller

Blasphemy of the Week: Next time someone says, “i'ts Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve”, reply with “it's homosapien not heterosapien.

Puzzle of the Week: From Evan Kalish, of Bayside, N.Y. Name a state capital. Remove its first two letters, and you can rearrange the rest to name something in two words that you might find while beachcombing in that state. What is it? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 7/7/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: This is a song I wrote called, “I am absolutely delicious and I hate that mosquitos know it”. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Rodeo Wisdom: Never squat with your spurs on. / Barbara the bull rider had a way of singing bulls to sleep. She would put a bull to sleep in the first 2 seconds of her ride and relax during the last 4 seconds. She was known as the bull-dozer.

..........No, no, you can't disguise.........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Little Lies

^ Between 1920 and 1959 Oscar wrote all or part of about 45 musical dramas.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 12, 2024. The moon will enter the first quarter tomorrow (7/13) and is in Libra. It is Different Colored Eyes Day**, National French Fry Day, National JELL-O Day, National Pecan Pie Day, Night of Nights, Paper Bag Day, Simplicity Day, and Wayne The Chicken Show Day. Because it is the second Friday it is also Collector Car Appreciation Day and National Motorcycle Day. **One of my eyes is light brown and the other is dark brown.

Among those born on this day were Julius Caesar (100 BCE), Josiah Wedgewood (1730), George Eastman (1854), Oscar Hammerstein II (1895), Buckminster Fuller (1895), Milton Berle (1908), Andrew Wyeth (1917), James E Gunn (1923), Van Cliburn (1934), Bill Cosby (1937), Christie McVie (1943), and Cheryl Ladd (1951).

On July twelfth Henry VIII married Catherine Parr (1543), the 16th amendment was approved and sent to the states (Income tax, 1909), Congress boosted the minimum wage to 33 cents (1933), and the Major League Baseball Players Association was founded (1954).

Night Sky, 7/12 : As summer progresses, bright Arcturus moves down the western side of the evening sky. Its pale ginger-ale tint always helps identify it. Arcturus forms the bottom point of the Kite of Boötes. The Kite, rather narrow, extends upper right from Arcturus by 23°, about two fists at arm's length. The lower right side of the kite is dented inward, as if some celestial intruder collided with it. The kite tilts toward the Big Dipper. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Ollie, the Birthday Boy !

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's time to raze existence, it's time to banish light, it's time to call the void in, on the Muppet Show tonight. --Mike Toole

This Week: Saturday, July 13 – International Skinny Dip Day & National Barbershop Music Appreciation Day

Sunday, July 14 – International Nude Day & World Chimpanzee Day & World Orca Day

Night Sky, 7/14: The tail of Scorpius is at its best low due south soon after dark. It's about a fist and a half at arm's length lower left of Antares, and a fist or less lower right of the Sagittarius Teapot's spout. How low this scene appears depends on how far north or south you live: the farther south, the higher.

Monday, July 15 – Global Hug Your Kid Day & National Give Something Away Day & St Swithin's Day**

**Legends says today's weather will hold for 40 more.

Tuesday, July 16 – National Personal Chef's Day & World Snake Day

Wednesday, July 17 – Take Your Poet To Work Day & World Emoji Day

Night Sky, 7/17: Saturn (magnitude 1.1, near the Aquarius-Pisces border) rises around midnight and shines high in the southeast before dawn. The Great Square of Pegasus is two fists upper left of it, and Fomalhaut sparkles two fists lower right of it.

Thursday, July 18 – International Sister Cities Day & Insurance Nerd Day

Barrel Racers are just crazy cat ladies with a little money. / Serene Bovine Ranch provided calves for the calf roping rodeo. But the calves were always grinning and cavorting so much that they were called laughing stock.

..........You can take me to paradise..........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Over My Head

^^ Oscar worked with Vincent Youmans, Rudolf Friml (Rose Marie), Sigmund Romberg (Lover Come Back to Me), and Jerome Kern (The Last Time I Saw Paris) before he found Richard Rodgers.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Give someone a book and they'll read for a day. Teach someone to write a book … and they'll spend a life-time mired in paralyzing self-doubt. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Moonbeam: There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly. --Buckminister Fuller

Worthless Fact of the Week: A blue whale can fart a bubble big enough to encompass a horse.

Video of the Week: Van Cliburn playing Chopin's Polonaise, Op 53 on the Ed Sullivan Show (7:01) Van Cliburn "Chopin's Polonaise, Op. 53" on The Ed Sullivan Show (youtube.com)

The difference between a republic and an empire is the loyalty of one's army. --Julius Caesar

When Irad Ortiz told Brittany Tonozzi she rode like a girl, she said, “Yes, so try and keep up”. / Steer Wrestling Motto: Steer Wrestling is my therapy.

..........You and me got plenty of time..........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Hold Me

^^^ Rodgers & Hammerstein wrote 9 musicals together. Oklahoma (1943), Carousel (1945), Allegro (1947), South Pacific (1949), The King and I (1951), Me and Juliet (1953), Pipe Dream (1955), Flower Drum Song (1958), and The Sound of Music (1959).

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've had burritos more supreme than this court. --Submitted by af of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Nidicolous – Nest dwelling Nidicolous (worldwidewords.org)

Dragon of the Week: What's in your garage?

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with two tablespoons of Cascade and hot water. Let sit for thirty minutes, then swish clean with a bottle brush and rinse thoroughly. Cascade®: Wacky Uses

The all around champion of the Dinosaur Rodeo was Tyrannosaurus Tex. / Rodeo Pick Up Line: Rope, spurs, leather gloves...even if I weren't a cowgirl, we're talking a good time.

...........So help me, help me, help make this feeling go.........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Say You Love Me

^^^^ Oscar Hammerstein II studies law at Columbia University in New York City. 1912-16

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: SIX – S = 9 --Submitted by SH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Con-Gregate 2024 (12-14, Winston-Salem, NC) ...Get thee to the geekery ConGregate 10 (con-gregate.com)

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 15^th International Congress on Mathematical Education (7-14, Sydney, Australia) ..a challenging congress ICME-15 (2024) | International Mathematical Union (IMU) (mathunion.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Tallahassee --> A seashell

Bull riding is one of those sports that got started with “Hey, hold my beer”. / Bronc Riding is very much like Bull Riding … there's lots of bucks and you've gotta hold on for 8 seconds. But broncs can lift their legs above your head and bulls are just heavy.

..........My friends say I'm acting peculiarly.........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Everywhere

^^^^^ Oscar was born Oscar Greeley Clendenning Hammerstein II

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: Many Illuminati believers are convinced that the Denver Airport is the headquarters. The airport has embraced the rumors by poking fun at it, but that hasn't stopped people from believing secret tunnels and lizard lairs lurk beneath the building. 30 Crazy Conspiracy Theories That People Actually Believe (popularmechanics.com)

Quote of the Week: Everyone is his or her own messiah. --James E Gunn, Lawrence's own science fiction master

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I child proofed my house, but they're still getting in. --Submitted by jm or ks

Today's Peace of History, July 12, 1920: Lithuania & USSR signed a peace treaty and Lithuania became an independent republic.

Before he became a burger flipper Ronald McDonald was a rodeo clown who swore an oath of revenge against the bull that killed his brother. / The Barrel Riders warm-up ring is at best a three ring circus and at worst Dante's 7^th level of hell.

..........Sweet, wonderful you.........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..You Make Loving Fun

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, 2024, rOped ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Love is metaphysical gravity. --Buckminister Fuller

Cost of War:

• As of 07/11/24 State Department Costs: $240,602,272,421.
• As of 07/04/24 State Department Costs: $240,051,697,837.
• As of 07/11/24 Homeland Security: $1,173,050,798,411.
• As of 07/04/24 Homeland Security: $1,172,452,748,361.
• As of 07/11/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,231,130,764,111.
• As of 07/04/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,229,592,865,827.
• As of 07/11/24 Military Costs: $3,094,432,756,599.
• As of 07/04/24 Military Costs: $3,093,265,012,305.
• As of 07/11/24 Veterans Care: $3,757,549,638,276.
• As of 07/04/24 Veterans Care: $3,745,890,320,298.
• As of 07/11/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,496,768,171,921.
• As of 07/04/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,481,253,911,849.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

I have always reckoned the dignity of the republic of first importance. --Julius Caesar

Famous Last Words: ...the best friend your car has ever had. --The Milton Beryl show aka The Texaco Star Theater sign-off

..........Open your eyes and look at the day..........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Don't Stop

There is nothing in life that's worth doing if it can't be done from a horse. / I've heard that when rodeo clowns die they go to Y'allhalla.

May Peace ride beside you
And Joy hold your lead
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: Happy National Jell-O Day!

iNdependent ePistle

 Famous First Words: When in the course of human events... US Declaration of Independence

Little known fact: George Washington told Henry Know to “shift that fat-ass, Harry, slowly, or you will swamp the damn boat” while crossing the Delaware. / Fireworks and beer go together like your hand and the emergency room.

..........Some like it hot, boy, some like it cold..........Robbie Robertson …..American Roulette

You are protected from the following by the National Labor Relations Act: Threatening, disciplining, terminating, or otherwise retaliating against an employee for having engaged in union or protected concerted activities.

Politics is the shadow cast on society by big business. --Noam Chomsky --Submitted by cc of ks

It is a beautiful Friday morning. 66°F is a near perfect temperature for a morning walk or sitting on the patio. The sky is pale blue without clouds or jet trails. A five mph breeze blows the willow branches into graceful dances but leaves the mulberry nearly still. My new hip is only three weeks old but managed to sleep through the night, so I am refreshed and ready for a new day. I am eating blueberry yoghurt and sipping sweetened and creamed decaf. Gene Kelly. Donald O'Conner, and Debbie Reynolds are singing Good Morning to me via Spotify. And writing to you is dessert. What a morning!

Hope your weekend has all the fireworks you can handle**, ePistlers. **In a good way

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My mouth waters when I smell steak...wonder if the same happens to vegans when they mow the lawn. --Submitted by SH

Little known facts: After killing Alexander Hamilton in a duel and losing the vice-presidency Aaron Burr with the help of a few other conspirators attempted to name himself emperor of Mexico. / The illegal fireworks show in your backyard was great. And the finale with your house burning down was spectacular.

..........No, I don't want to sit in your sports car..........Huey Lewis & The News …..You Crack Me Up

Trivia Questions: Happy Bikini Day

• ^ How did the bikini (swimsuit) get its name?
• ^^ Was the bikini the first two piece swimsuit?
• ^^^ When or on whom did the first two piece swimsuit appear in a major motion picture?
• ^^^^ How did the fashion industry feel about the bikini?
• ^^^^^ How much money did we spend last year buying bikinis?

Big Hello: jvajalapā – Newari / Nepal Bhasa https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I may look normal, but I meow back at cats. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Image of the Week: This is Buford Watson (The Train) Park in Lawrence on Monday morning.

Library Joke of the Week: Modern Synopsis - Peter Pan: Children sneak out at night, get high on dust, beat up a disabled man, and steal his boat. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Who told the most jokes at the first Fourth of July party? The Punsylvanians. / If you cross dinosaurs and fireworks you get dinomite.

..........Take a load off, Fanny, take a load for free..........The Band with Robbie Robertson …..The Weight

Moonbeam: Nothing could be more personal than a tape. --Julie Nixon Eisenhower

Blasphemy of the Week: Irony is a pastor asking for your money to solve church problems, and advising you to pray to solve yours. --Submitted by MMS

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Laura Kozma, of South River, NJ: Name a famous film actor of the past (4,6). Swap the second and third letters of the first name to name a color. Change the third letter of the last name to get another color. What actor and which colors are they? NPR Sunday Puzzle 6/30/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Could the whole Lord of the Rings have been avoided with a giant dose of Visine?

Instead of saying “the right of the militia to keep and bear a smooth-bore, single-shot, flintlock-based musket”, let's just say “arms”. Okay? / I tried to make up a joke about fireworks but it kept going over my head.

..........Please darken my door..........The Band with Robbie Robertson …..Ophelia

^ The bikini was such an explosive innovation that designer, Louis Réard, named it for the nuclear warhead test that took place on Bikini Atoll just 4 days earlier.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 5, 2024. The moon is new today and is in Cancer. It is Big Tech Day, Bikini Day, and Thong Day.

Among those born on this day were Stamford Raffles (1781), Phineas T. Barnum (1810), Clara Zetkin (1857), Jean Cocteau (1990), Henry Cabot Lodge (1909), Warren Oates (1928), Katherine Helmond (1929), Robbie Robertson (1944), Julie Nixon Eisenhower (1948), and Hewy Lewis (1951).

On July fifth Venezuela gained independence (1811), Thomas Cook opened his first travel agency (1841), Booth founded the Salvation Army (1865), the National Labor Relations Act was signed into law (1935), DiMaggio hit his first grand slam (1937), Algeria gained its independence (1962), NYC transit fare was raised from 15 to 20 cents (1966), and the 26th amendment was ratified.

Night Sky, 7/5: The largest asteroid, 1 Ceres, in opposition in the handle of the Sagittarius Teapot. It's in the binocular range at magnitude 7.3. From now through July 12th Ceres is less than 1° from the bottom star of the Teapot's handle. Earth is at aphelion today, its farthest from the Sun for the year, just 3.3% farther than at perihelion in January. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Cool Hot Tub Picture

This Week: Saturday, July 6 – International Day of Cooperatives & Islamic New Year & National Play Outside Day

Night Sky, 7/6 : This evening about 20 or 30 minutes after sunset, try to sight the extremely thin young crescent Moon low in the west-northwest. Will this be your record youngest Moon? For most of North America, you're seeing it only 25 to 28 hours old depending on where you are.

Sunday, July 7 – Dive Bar Day & Father-Daughter Take A Walk Together Day & Tell The Truth Day

Monday, July 8 – International Town Criers Day & National Video Game Day & SCUD Day (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama)

Tuesday, July 9 – Bald Is In Day & Black Women's Equal Pay Day & Cow Appreciation Day

Wednesday, July 10 – Teddy Bears' Picnic Day & Kitten Day & Don't Step On A Bee Day

Night Sky, 7/10: July Pegasids Meteor Shower Less than a week after the new moon, moonlight won't be too bright. Best observed from the northern hemisphere, during the night's second half, just after the moonset, when the radiation is the highest in the sky. Meteor Shower Calendar | June Meteor Shower 2024 | Meteor Shower September 2024 | Star Walk

Thursday, July 11 – Cheer Up the Lonely Day & Make Your Own Sundae Day & World Population Day

Hall of American Patriots: Give Me Liberty --Patrick Henry | We hold these truths to be self-evident... --John Hancock | Campaign Attack Ads --Anonymous Rich Person / Mama Cone Fountain kissed her children as they got out of bed and said, “Wick Up”.

..........Good luck had just stung me..........The Band with Robbie Robertson …..Up On Cripple Creek

^^ In 1913 designer Carl Jantzen made the first functional two-piece swimwear. Inspired by the introduction of females into Olympic swimming, he designed a close-fitting costume with shorts for the bottom and short sleeves for the top.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism --Submitted by SH

Moonbeam: New England has a harsh climate, a barren soil, a rough and stormy coast, and yet we love it, even with a love passing that of dwellers in more favored regions. --Henry Cabot Lodge

(Almost the Final) Hippy Update of the Week: I can drive again. Yea! About 5 or 6 in the evening, my hip starts hurting and I can't even get comfortable sitting. I end up sleeping on my recliner instead of the bed. But it is getting better because I no longer need my oxycodone; Acetaminophen does it for me now. But I've been for walks – with and without Puck, cooked meals, shopped. Actually drove to the grocery store and was kind of planning on walking around picking stuff up, but I ended up using the electronic cart for that part. So stamina is still an issue. I feel like I'm doing really well.

The only hip replacement joke that I wrote myself: Is that a hip replacement you have or are you just glad to see me. ~Yes, I can feel it right under my incision, thick and hard.

Video of the Week: A three headed dragon kite in flight. Facebook

You are protected from this by the National Labor Relations Act: Prohibiting employees from discussing or sharing information about their wages or working conditions.

Politics: a strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. --Ambrose Bierce

The USA is proud because the founding fathers had convictions. But they didn't have nearly as many convictions as the founding fathers of Australia. / The Cherry Bombs played rock music; critics said they were an explosive band.

..........They say every distance is not near..........The Band with Robbie Robertson …..I Shall Be Released

^^^ In 1952 Brigitte Bardot appeared in Marina, the Girl in the Bikini in which she donned several tiny two piece bathing suits.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you thought the debate was bad, you really won't like the swimsuit competition. --Submitted by ar of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Maloik: There's that devil-horn thing metal fans do with their hands. Apparently, it is called the maloik. From the Italian malocchio, evil eye. Maloik (worldwidewords.org)

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove coffee and tea stains from glass cookware. Soak the glassware in a solution of two tablespoons Cascade to two quarts warm water. Cascade®: Wacky Uses

Little known fact: The founding accountants were all from Prague because the founding mothers insisted on a system with Czechs and balances. / Roman Candle tried to make it as a stand up comedian but the critics said he lacked spark.

...........I work for the union 'cause she's so good to me..........The Band with Robbie Robertson …..King Harvest

^^^^ It is hardly necessary to waste words over the so-called bikini. It is inconceivable that any girl with tact and decency would ever wear such a thing --Modern Girl Magazine 1957

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I still love America. I just don't know how to get there anymore. --John Prine

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: MetroCon 2024 (5-7, Tampa FL) Florida's largest Anime Convention Facebook

Actual Science Conference of the Week: An Evening of Exploration at the Museum of Science (7/5, Boston, MA) ...Archimedean Excogitation... 2024 Summer Meeting -Special Events - SM24 (aapt.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Gary Cooper → Gray, Copper

We like to think of the founding fathers as strong attractive men, but in fact they were revolting. / You can always make a firework laugh by tickling its fuse.

..........We're gonna soothe away the rest of our years..........The Band with Robbie Robertson …..Rockin' Chair

^^^^^ 76 billion dollars were spent on bikinis in the US in 2023. I tried to find out how many suits were sold, but I could only find dollar amounts. However, the statistic may have been there in the middle of long, boring lists of statistics about swimsuits.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: In 2012 the CERN discovered the Higgs Boson particle but inadvertently created a black hole that sucked in the Earth. The world ended in 2012 but we haven't realized it yet. 30 Crazy Conspiracy Theories That People Actually Believe (popularmechanics.com)

Quote of the Week: One's destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things. --Henry Miller

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I was born a woman and identify as a woman but according to Stouffer's Lasagna I am a family of four.

Today's Peace of History, July 5, 1827: The newly freed African-American population of New York, led by men on horseback, marched in an Emancipation Day Parade from the Battery at the foot of Manhattan to City Hall.

What do you call an immigrant who commits crimes? A Founding Father. / The bottle rockets have a big picnic for the 4^th. They call it a bangquet.

..........Laying in the back seat listening to Little Willie John.........Robbie Robertson …..Somewhere Down The Crazy River

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, July 5, 2024, iNdependent ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth. --Jean Cocteau

Cost of War:

• As of 07/04/24 State Department Costs: $240,051,697,837.
• As of 06/27/24 State Department Costs: $239,491,187,558.
• As of 07/04/24 Homeland Security: $1,172,452,748,361.
• As of 06/27/24 Homeland Security: $1,171,844,230,158.
• As of 07/04/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,229,592,865,827.
• As of 06/27/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,228,028,138,994.
• As of 07/04/24 Military Costs: $3,093,265,012,305.
• As of 06/27/24 Military Costs: $3,092,076,974,129.
• As of 07/04/24 Veterans Care: $3,745,890,320,298.
• As of 06/27/24 Veterans Care: $3,734,029,135,819.
• As of 07/04/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,481,253,911,849.
• As of 06/27/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,465,470,919,889.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Politics is the Entertainment Division of the Military Industrial Complex –Frank Zappa

You are protected from this by the National Labor Relations Act: Prohibiting employees from talking about workplace issues on their own time.

Famous Last Words: ...the power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation. --The 26^th Amendment ~~lowered the voting age to 18 years.

..........Change a hawk to a little white dove...........Huey Lewis & The News …..The Power Of Love

Little known fact: Benjamin Franklin was not allowed to write the Declaration of Independence since the other founders were afraid he would slip in a joke. / If you cross a firework and a joke you get a literal punchline.

May Peace release your soul
And Joy free our heart
prairie mama
christine

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