iNdependent ePistle

 Famous First Words: When in the course of human events... US Declaration of Independence

Little known fact: George Washington told Henry Know to “shift that fat-ass, Harry, slowly, or you will swamp the damn boat” while crossing the Delaware. / Fireworks and beer go together like your hand and the emergency room.

..........Some like it hot, boy, some like it cold..........Robbie Robertson …..American Roulette

You are protected from the following by the National Labor Relations Act: Threatening, disciplining, terminating, or otherwise retaliating against an employee for having engaged in union or protected concerted activities.

Politics is the shadow cast on society by big business. --Noam Chomsky --Submitted by cc of ks

It is a beautiful Friday morning. 66°F is a near perfect temperature for a morning walk or sitting on the patio. The sky is pale blue without clouds or jet trails. A five mph breeze blows the willow branches into graceful dances but leaves the mulberry nearly still. My new hip is only three weeks old but managed to sleep through the night, so I am refreshed and ready for a new day. I am eating blueberry yoghurt and sipping sweetened and creamed decaf. Gene Kelly. Donald O'Conner, and Debbie Reynolds are singing Good Morning to me via Spotify. And writing to you is dessert. What a morning!

Hope your weekend has all the fireworks you can handle**, ePistlers. **In a good way

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My mouth waters when I smell steak...wonder if the same happens to vegans when they mow the lawn. --Submitted by SH

Little known facts: After killing Alexander Hamilton in a duel and losing the vice-presidency Aaron Burr with the help of a few other conspirators attempted to name himself emperor of Mexico. / The illegal fireworks show in your backyard was great. And the finale with your house burning down was spectacular.

..........No, I don't want to sit in your sports car..........Huey Lewis & The News …..You Crack Me Up

Trivia Questions: Happy Bikini Day

• ^ How did the bikini (swimsuit) get its name?
• ^^ Was the bikini the first two piece swimsuit?
• ^^^ When or on whom did the first two piece swimsuit appear in a major motion picture?
• ^^^^ How did the fashion industry feel about the bikini?
• ^^^^^ How much money did we spend last year buying bikinis?

Big Hello: jvajalapā – Newari / Nepal Bhasa https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I may look normal, but I meow back at cats. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Image of the Week: This is Buford Watson (The Train) Park in Lawrence on Monday morning.

Library Joke of the Week: Modern Synopsis - Peter Pan: Children sneak out at night, get high on dust, beat up a disabled man, and steal his boat. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Who told the most jokes at the first Fourth of July party? The Punsylvanians. / If you cross dinosaurs and fireworks you get dinomite.

..........Take a load off, Fanny, take a load for free..........The Band with Robbie Robertson …..The Weight

Moonbeam: Nothing could be more personal than a tape. --Julie Nixon Eisenhower

Blasphemy of the Week: Irony is a pastor asking for your money to solve church problems, and advising you to pray to solve yours. --Submitted by MMS

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Laura Kozma, of South River, NJ: Name a famous film actor of the past (4,6). Swap the second and third letters of the first name to name a color. Change the third letter of the last name to get another color. What actor and which colors are they? NPR Sunday Puzzle 6/30/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Could the whole Lord of the Rings have been avoided with a giant dose of Visine?

Instead of saying “the right of the militia to keep and bear a smooth-bore, single-shot, flintlock-based musket”, let's just say “arms”. Okay? / I tried to make up a joke about fireworks but it kept going over my head.

..........Please darken my door..........The Band with Robbie Robertson …..Ophelia

^ The bikini was such an explosive innovation that designer, Louis Réard, named it for the nuclear warhead test that took place on Bikini Atoll just 4 days earlier.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 5, 2024. The moon is new today and is in Cancer. It is Big Tech Day, Bikini Day, and Thong Day.

Among those born on this day were Stamford Raffles (1781), Phineas T. Barnum (1810), Clara Zetkin (1857), Jean Cocteau (1990), Henry Cabot Lodge (1909), Warren Oates (1928), Katherine Helmond (1929), Robbie Robertson (1944), Julie Nixon Eisenhower (1948), and Hewy Lewis (1951).

On July fifth Venezuela gained independence (1811), Thomas Cook opened his first travel agency (1841), Booth founded the Salvation Army (1865), the National Labor Relations Act was signed into law (1935), DiMaggio hit his first grand slam (1937), Algeria gained its independence (1962), NYC transit fare was raised from 15 to 20 cents (1966), and the 26th amendment was ratified.

Night Sky, 7/5: The largest asteroid, 1 Ceres, in opposition in the handle of the Sagittarius Teapot. It's in the binocular range at magnitude 7.3. From now through July 12th Ceres is less than 1° from the bottom star of the Teapot's handle. Earth is at aphelion today, its farthest from the Sun for the year, just 3.3% farther than at perihelion in January. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Cool Hot Tub Picture

This Week: Saturday, July 6 – International Day of Cooperatives & Islamic New Year & National Play Outside Day

Night Sky, 7/6 : This evening about 20 or 30 minutes after sunset, try to sight the extremely thin young crescent Moon low in the west-northwest. Will this be your record youngest Moon? For most of North America, you're seeing it only 25 to 28 hours old depending on where you are.

Sunday, July 7 – Dive Bar Day & Father-Daughter Take A Walk Together Day & Tell The Truth Day

Monday, July 8 – International Town Criers Day & National Video Game Day & SCUD Day (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama)

Tuesday, July 9 – Bald Is In Day & Black Women's Equal Pay Day & Cow Appreciation Day

Wednesday, July 10 – Teddy Bears' Picnic Day & Kitten Day & Don't Step On A Bee Day

Night Sky, 7/10: July Pegasids Meteor Shower Less than a week after the new moon, moonlight won't be too bright. Best observed from the northern hemisphere, during the night's second half, just after the moonset, when the radiation is the highest in the sky. Meteor Shower Calendar | June Meteor Shower 2024 | Meteor Shower September 2024 | Star Walk

Thursday, July 11 – Cheer Up the Lonely Day & Make Your Own Sundae Day & World Population Day

Hall of American Patriots: Give Me Liberty --Patrick Henry | We hold these truths to be self-evident... --John Hancock | Campaign Attack Ads --Anonymous Rich Person / Mama Cone Fountain kissed her children as they got out of bed and said, “Wick Up”.

..........Good luck had just stung me..........The Band with Robbie Robertson …..Up On Cripple Creek

^^ In 1913 designer Carl Jantzen made the first functional two-piece swimwear. Inspired by the introduction of females into Olympic swimming, he designed a close-fitting costume with shorts for the bottom and short sleeves for the top.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism --Submitted by SH

Moonbeam: New England has a harsh climate, a barren soil, a rough and stormy coast, and yet we love it, even with a love passing that of dwellers in more favored regions. --Henry Cabot Lodge

(Almost the Final) Hippy Update of the Week: I can drive again. Yea! About 5 or 6 in the evening, my hip starts hurting and I can't even get comfortable sitting. I end up sleeping on my recliner instead of the bed. But it is getting better because I no longer need my oxycodone; Acetaminophen does it for me now. But I've been for walks – with and without Puck, cooked meals, shopped. Actually drove to the grocery store and was kind of planning on walking around picking stuff up, but I ended up using the electronic cart for that part. So stamina is still an issue. I feel like I'm doing really well.

The only hip replacement joke that I wrote myself: Is that a hip replacement you have or are you just glad to see me. ~Yes, I can feel it right under my incision, thick and hard.

Video of the Week: A three headed dragon kite in flight. Facebook

You are protected from this by the National Labor Relations Act: Prohibiting employees from discussing or sharing information about their wages or working conditions.

Politics: a strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. --Ambrose Bierce

The USA is proud because the founding fathers had convictions. But they didn't have nearly as many convictions as the founding fathers of Australia. / The Cherry Bombs played rock music; critics said they were an explosive band.

..........They say every distance is not near..........The Band with Robbie Robertson …..I Shall Be Released

^^^ In 1952 Brigitte Bardot appeared in Marina, the Girl in the Bikini in which she donned several tiny two piece bathing suits.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you thought the debate was bad, you really won't like the swimsuit competition. --Submitted by ar of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Maloik: There's that devil-horn thing metal fans do with their hands. Apparently, it is called the maloik. From the Italian malocchio, evil eye. Maloik (worldwidewords.org)

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove coffee and tea stains from glass cookware. Soak the glassware in a solution of two tablespoons Cascade to two quarts warm water. Cascade®: Wacky Uses

Little known fact: The founding accountants were all from Prague because the founding mothers insisted on a system with Czechs and balances. / Roman Candle tried to make it as a stand up comedian but the critics said he lacked spark.

...........I work for the union 'cause she's so good to me..........The Band with Robbie Robertson …..King Harvest

^^^^ It is hardly necessary to waste words over the so-called bikini. It is inconceivable that any girl with tact and decency would ever wear such a thing --Modern Girl Magazine 1957

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I still love America. I just don't know how to get there anymore. --John Prine

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: MetroCon 2024 (5-7, Tampa FL) Florida's largest Anime Convention Facebook

Actual Science Conference of the Week: An Evening of Exploration at the Museum of Science (7/5, Boston, MA) ...Archimedean Excogitation... 2024 Summer Meeting -Special Events - SM24 (aapt.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Gary Cooper → Gray, Copper

We like to think of the founding fathers as strong attractive men, but in fact they were revolting. / You can always make a firework laugh by tickling its fuse.

..........We're gonna soothe away the rest of our years..........The Band with Robbie Robertson …..Rockin' Chair

^^^^^ 76 billion dollars were spent on bikinis in the US in 2023. I tried to find out how many suits were sold, but I could only find dollar amounts. However, the statistic may have been there in the middle of long, boring lists of statistics about swimsuits.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: In 2012 the CERN discovered the Higgs Boson particle but inadvertently created a black hole that sucked in the Earth. The world ended in 2012 but we haven't realized it yet. 30 Crazy Conspiracy Theories That People Actually Believe (popularmechanics.com)

Quote of the Week: One's destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things. --Henry Miller

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I was born a woman and identify as a woman but according to Stouffer's Lasagna I am a family of four.

Today's Peace of History, July 5, 1827: The newly freed African-American population of New York, led by men on horseback, marched in an Emancipation Day Parade from the Battery at the foot of Manhattan to City Hall.

What do you call an immigrant who commits crimes? A Founding Father. / The bottle rockets have a big picnic for the 4^th. They call it a bangquet.

..........Laying in the back seat listening to Little Willie John.........Robbie Robertson …..Somewhere Down The Crazy River

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, July 5, 2024, iNdependent ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth. --Jean Cocteau

Cost of War:

• As of 07/04/24 State Department Costs: $240,051,697,837.
• As of 06/27/24 State Department Costs: $239,491,187,558.
• As of 07/04/24 Homeland Security: $1,172,452,748,361.
• As of 06/27/24 Homeland Security: $1,171,844,230,158.
• As of 07/04/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,229,592,865,827.
• As of 06/27/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,228,028,138,994.
• As of 07/04/24 Military Costs: $3,093,265,012,305.
• As of 06/27/24 Military Costs: $3,092,076,974,129.
• As of 07/04/24 Veterans Care: $3,745,890,320,298.
• As of 06/27/24 Veterans Care: $3,734,029,135,819.
• As of 07/04/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,481,253,911,849.
• As of 06/27/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,465,470,919,889.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Politics is the Entertainment Division of the Military Industrial Complex –Frank Zappa

You are protected from this by the National Labor Relations Act: Prohibiting employees from talking about workplace issues on their own time.

Famous Last Words: ...the power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation. --The 26^th Amendment ~~lowered the voting age to 18 years.

..........Change a hawk to a little white dove...........Huey Lewis & The News …..The Power Of Love

Little known fact: Benjamin Franklin was not allowed to write the Declaration of Independence since the other founders were afraid he would slip in a joke. / If you cross a firework and a joke you get a literal punchline.

May Peace release your soul
And Joy free our heart
prairie mama
christine

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