rOped ePistle

 Famous First Words: The Congress shall have power... US Constitution 16th Amendment

July is Rodeo Month! Actually, this is my first rodeo. First, let's straighten out some myths. Bulls DO NOT have love handles, they have rodeo grips.

..........You've got a way of lifting me up….......Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Love In Store

All bad precedents begin as justifiable measures. --Julius Caesar

It is a warm (83°F) Friday morning. Sun is shining in a near cloudless sky and a 9 mph breeze shakes the mulberry and the sunflower plants. I have been to the doctor (my regular one, not the hip one) who said my incision is not infected, “they always look like that”. So I can stop worrying about that and get on with walking around without pain. This morning is so far along that the birds have come and gone, the squirrels too have come and gone, and now I get to write to you – not a bad morning at all.

Hope your weekend is as exciting as a bull ride, ePistlers, but lasts longer.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's okay to cut negative people out of your life, just don't use your fabric scissors. --Submitted by sb of ar

Bareback Riding by Eiffel Down and Lord Howard Hertz. Most certainly the definitive work on the subject. / Bull Rider pick up lines: Got 8 seconds?

..........like they know the score.........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Songbird

Trivia Questions: Happy 129^th Birthday to Oscar Hammerstein II !

• ^ How many musicals did he write – all or in part?
• ^^ Who did Oscar collaborate with before Richard Rodgers?
• ^^^ How many of those musicals did Oscar write with Rodgers?
• ^^^^ Where did Oscar go to college?
• ^^^^^ Do you know Oscar's full name?

Big Hello: Oraire ota - Nkore (Uganda) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain. --Lily Tomlin

Literary Joke of the Week: British novel: Let's go to a party and find a wife. German novel: Let's go to the wilderness and find ourselves. Russian novel: Let's go to the depths of despair and then find out there is an even deeper level of despair we didn't know about and go there. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Weird Headline of the Week: Nebraska regent suggests putting fans' ashes under the football field. --apnews.com

Some friends of mine recently took up freestyle bullfighting. It sure didn't take them long to get hooked. / Steer Wrestling Motto: Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

..........So let yourself go and let love begin..........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Think About Me

Moonbeam: I am a passenger on the spaceship, Earth. --Buckminister Fuller

Blasphemy of the Week: Next time someone says, “i'ts Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve”, reply with “it's homosapien not heterosapien.

Puzzle of the Week: From Evan Kalish, of Bayside, N.Y. Name a state capital. Remove its first two letters, and you can rearrange the rest to name something in two words that you might find while beachcombing in that state. What is it? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 7/7/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: This is a song I wrote called, “I am absolutely delicious and I hate that mosquitos know it”. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Rodeo Wisdom: Never squat with your spurs on. / Barbara the bull rider had a way of singing bulls to sleep. She would put a bull to sleep in the first 2 seconds of her ride and relax during the last 4 seconds. She was known as the bull-dozer.

..........No, no, you can't disguise.........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Little Lies

^ Between 1920 and 1959 Oscar wrote all or part of about 45 musical dramas.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 12, 2024. The moon will enter the first quarter tomorrow (7/13) and is in Libra. It is Different Colored Eyes Day**, National French Fry Day, National JELL-O Day, National Pecan Pie Day, Night of Nights, Paper Bag Day, Simplicity Day, and Wayne The Chicken Show Day. Because it is the second Friday it is also Collector Car Appreciation Day and National Motorcycle Day. **One of my eyes is light brown and the other is dark brown.

Among those born on this day were Julius Caesar (100 BCE), Josiah Wedgewood (1730), George Eastman (1854), Oscar Hammerstein II (1895), Buckminster Fuller (1895), Milton Berle (1908), Andrew Wyeth (1917), James E Gunn (1923), Van Cliburn (1934), Bill Cosby (1937), Christie McVie (1943), and Cheryl Ladd (1951).

On July twelfth Henry VIII married Catherine Parr (1543), the 16th amendment was approved and sent to the states (Income tax, 1909), Congress boosted the minimum wage to 33 cents (1933), and the Major League Baseball Players Association was founded (1954).

Night Sky, 7/12 : As summer progresses, bright Arcturus moves down the western side of the evening sky. Its pale ginger-ale tint always helps identify it. Arcturus forms the bottom point of the Kite of Boötes. The Kite, rather narrow, extends upper right from Arcturus by 23°, about two fists at arm's length. The lower right side of the kite is dented inward, as if some celestial intruder collided with it. The kite tilts toward the Big Dipper. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Ollie, the Birthday Boy !

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's time to raze existence, it's time to banish light, it's time to call the void in, on the Muppet Show tonight. --Mike Toole

This Week: Saturday, July 13 – International Skinny Dip Day & National Barbershop Music Appreciation Day

Sunday, July 14 – International Nude Day & World Chimpanzee Day & World Orca Day

Night Sky, 7/14: The tail of Scorpius is at its best low due south soon after dark. It's about a fist and a half at arm's length lower left of Antares, and a fist or less lower right of the Sagittarius Teapot's spout. How low this scene appears depends on how far north or south you live: the farther south, the higher.

Monday, July 15 – Global Hug Your Kid Day & National Give Something Away Day & St Swithin's Day**

**Legends says today's weather will hold for 40 more.

Tuesday, July 16 – National Personal Chef's Day & World Snake Day

Wednesday, July 17 – Take Your Poet To Work Day & World Emoji Day

Night Sky, 7/17: Saturn (magnitude 1.1, near the Aquarius-Pisces border) rises around midnight and shines high in the southeast before dawn. The Great Square of Pegasus is two fists upper left of it, and Fomalhaut sparkles two fists lower right of it.

Thursday, July 18 – International Sister Cities Day & Insurance Nerd Day

Barrel Racers are just crazy cat ladies with a little money. / Serene Bovine Ranch provided calves for the calf roping rodeo. But the calves were always grinning and cavorting so much that they were called laughing stock.

..........You can take me to paradise..........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Over My Head

^^ Oscar worked with Vincent Youmans, Rudolf Friml (Rose Marie), Sigmund Romberg (Lover Come Back to Me), and Jerome Kern (The Last Time I Saw Paris) before he found Richard Rodgers.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Give someone a book and they'll read for a day. Teach someone to write a book … and they'll spend a life-time mired in paralyzing self-doubt. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Moonbeam: There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly. --Buckminister Fuller

Worthless Fact of the Week: A blue whale can fart a bubble big enough to encompass a horse.

Video of the Week: Van Cliburn playing Chopin's Polonaise, Op 53 on the Ed Sullivan Show (7:01) Van Cliburn "Chopin's Polonaise, Op. 53" on The Ed Sullivan Show (youtube.com)

The difference between a republic and an empire is the loyalty of one's army. --Julius Caesar

When Irad Ortiz told Brittany Tonozzi she rode like a girl, she said, “Yes, so try and keep up”. / Steer Wrestling Motto: Steer Wrestling is my therapy.

..........You and me got plenty of time..........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Hold Me

^^^ Rodgers & Hammerstein wrote 9 musicals together. Oklahoma (1943), Carousel (1945), Allegro (1947), South Pacific (1949), The King and I (1951), Me and Juliet (1953), Pipe Dream (1955), Flower Drum Song (1958), and The Sound of Music (1959).

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've had burritos more supreme than this court. --Submitted by af of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Nidicolous – Nest dwelling Nidicolous (worldwidewords.org)

Dragon of the Week: What's in your garage?

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with two tablespoons of Cascade and hot water. Let sit for thirty minutes, then swish clean with a bottle brush and rinse thoroughly. Cascade®: Wacky Uses

The all around champion of the Dinosaur Rodeo was Tyrannosaurus Tex. / Rodeo Pick Up Line: Rope, spurs, leather gloves...even if I weren't a cowgirl, we're talking a good time.

...........So help me, help me, help make this feeling go.........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Say You Love Me

^^^^ Oscar Hammerstein II studies law at Columbia University in New York City. 1912-16

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: SIX – S = 9 --Submitted by SH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Con-Gregate 2024 (12-14, Winston-Salem, NC) ...Get thee to the geekery ConGregate 10 (con-gregate.com)

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 15^th International Congress on Mathematical Education (7-14, Sydney, Australia) ..a challenging congress ICME-15 (2024) | International Mathematical Union (IMU) (mathunion.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Tallahassee --> A seashell

Bull riding is one of those sports that got started with “Hey, hold my beer”. / Bronc Riding is very much like Bull Riding … there's lots of bucks and you've gotta hold on for 8 seconds. But broncs can lift their legs above your head and bulls are just heavy.

..........My friends say I'm acting peculiarly.........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Everywhere

^^^^^ Oscar was born Oscar Greeley Clendenning Hammerstein II

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: Many Illuminati believers are convinced that the Denver Airport is the headquarters. The airport has embraced the rumors by poking fun at it, but that hasn't stopped people from believing secret tunnels and lizard lairs lurk beneath the building. 30 Crazy Conspiracy Theories That People Actually Believe (popularmechanics.com)

Quote of the Week: Everyone is his or her own messiah. --James E Gunn, Lawrence's own science fiction master

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I child proofed my house, but they're still getting in. --Submitted by jm or ks

Today's Peace of History, July 12, 1920: Lithuania & USSR signed a peace treaty and Lithuania became an independent republic.

Before he became a burger flipper Ronald McDonald was a rodeo clown who swore an oath of revenge against the bull that killed his brother. / The Barrel Riders warm-up ring is at best a three ring circus and at worst Dante's 7^th level of hell.

..........Sweet, wonderful you.........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..You Make Loving Fun

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, 2024, rOped ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Love is metaphysical gravity. --Buckminister Fuller

Cost of War:

• As of 07/11/24 State Department Costs: $240,602,272,421.
• As of 07/04/24 State Department Costs: $240,051,697,837.
• As of 07/11/24 Homeland Security: $1,173,050,798,411.
• As of 07/04/24 Homeland Security: $1,172,452,748,361.
• As of 07/11/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,231,130,764,111.
• As of 07/04/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,229,592,865,827.
• As of 07/11/24 Military Costs: $3,094,432,756,599.
• As of 07/04/24 Military Costs: $3,093,265,012,305.
• As of 07/11/24 Veterans Care: $3,757,549,638,276.
• As of 07/04/24 Veterans Care: $3,745,890,320,298.
• As of 07/11/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,496,768,171,921.
• As of 07/04/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,481,253,911,849.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

I have always reckoned the dignity of the republic of first importance. --Julius Caesar

Famous Last Words: ...the best friend your car has ever had. --The Milton Beryl show aka The Texaco Star Theater sign-off

..........Open your eyes and look at the day..........Fleetwood Mac with Christie Mcvie …..Don't Stop

There is nothing in life that's worth doing if it can't be done from a horse. / I've heard that when rodeo clowns die they go to Y'allhalla.

May Peace ride beside you
And Joy hold your lead
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: Happy National Jell-O Day!