Bleak** ePistle

Famous First Words: The gravity of the situation which confronts the world today... Harry S Truman, Speech introducing the Truman Doctrine.

Oh, my goth, It's World Goth Day! Goth: romanticizing my existential crisis. … My playlist is so goth it turns the lights off. … Roses are red, violets are blue, my heart is black, and so is my mood.

..........Don't punish me with brutality.........Marvin Gaye …..What's Going On ~~It's National Title Track Day and these are the top ten title track songs picked out by some person or people who are arrogant enough to think they know the ten best title tracks. Starting at #10.

**Bleak: Used to describe music, meaning good, because that's how we like it; ie “Hollow Hills is nice and bleak”. --The Goth Dictionary

The moral development of a civilization is measured by the breadth of its sense of community. --Anatol Rapoport

It is a gray Friday morning. The sky is a solid light gray without texture, without those thin clouds that often float beneath a solid bank of dense humidity. 59°F with very little wind makes the world comfortable for walks or sitting outside or spreading sunflower seeds across the patio for the birds and squirrels and the baby bunny rabbit that lives under the shed. It is quiet now; the crows have moved on and the sparrows are too busy eating breakfast to make much conversation. I stand at the window watching squirrels devour seeds, throw empty shells to the wind, and switch their tails to unheard music. A stick of jasmine incense sends spirals of smoke above my desk and fills the room with serenity and the hope for a pleasant day. So I raise my cup of doctored decaf to you, the reader, and say, Good morning to you and pleasant hours to fill your day.

Hope your weekend is filled with sunshine and color, hippies*. *Hippy is an “opposite” of goth.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Taste your words before you spit them out. Blessed Be! https://www.facebook.com/coexistmystical

Wednesday nights at the local pub is Goth Night. You get 5 points if you can make a Goth smile and 2,500 points if you can make 'em laugh. … The goth chef's secret ingredient is the tears of the misunderstood. … This outfit is so dark it's practically a black hole.

..........We'll run 'til we drop, and we'll never go back.........Bruce Springsteen …..Born To Run

Trivia Questions: It's Sherlock Holmes Day!

1. Do you know what real person Sherlock Holmes was based on?

2. Do you remember Holmes' address?

3. Who gave Holmes his distinctive deerstalker hat?

4. How often, really, did Holmes say “Elementary, my dear Watson” in the books, not the movies?

5. What was Holmes' original name?

Big Hello: Ässalamu äläykum – Uyghur (China) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Interesting....my weather app now refers to rainwater as liquid accumulation. --Submitted by db of ks

Image AND Protest Sign of the Week: Lawrence, KS 5/17/26

Faux Rant of the Week: The realization that apparently millions of people have spent the last 161 years planning in great detail how they can bully a people back into being slaves. Whole lives and lifetimes spent hating people who won't even be born for another century. Life is so wonderful, bright and noisy and moving. What a waste to spend it steeped in hate. To miss a sunset or a rich conversation just to use your energy creating schemes to ruin the lives of people they will never meet. Yikes, buy a vibrator, Karen, or two or several.

Goth today, dramatic forever. … I invited my goth friend to my beach party. She wore SPF 1000. … It's not eyeliner; it's soul liner.

..........I'm a power pack.........AC DC …..Back In Black

Moonbeam: Joy is not in things; it is in us. --Richard Wagner

Blasphemy of the Week: The poor are the ambassadors of God. --Peter Maurin

Coffee Joke of the Week: Worst drink at the goth coffee shop? Crap-uccino

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Christian notion of the possibility of redemption is incomprehensible to the computer. --Vance Packard

Happy goth: A myth … Gabriel Goth won the school essay contest with “Why Existence Is Overrated”. … My goth grandpa replaced the kings in his chess set with the Grim Reaper.

..........I only wanted one time to see you laughing.........Prince …..Purple Rain

1) Arthur Conan Doyle based Holmes on his teacher, Dr. Joseph Bell, a surgeon at the Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh, who was renowned for using keen observation to diagnose patients.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 22, 2026. The moon will enter its first quarter tomorrow (5/23) and is in Leo. The United Nations has declared this International Day for Biological Diversity. It is also Canadian Immigrants Day, Dandelion Day, Harvey Milk Day, International Being You Day, National Craft Distillery Day, National Maritime Day, Sherlock Holmes Day, US Colored Troops Day, US Maritime Day, Walk Safely to School Day, World Goth Day, and World Paloma Day. Because it's the fourth Friday it is also National Title Track Day. And the Friday before Memorial Day makes it Don't Fry Day, National Cooler Day, and National Wig Out Day. Finally Memorial Day Weekend includes National Polka Day and National Road Trip Day.

Among those born on this day were Ram Mohan Roy (1772), Richard Wagner (1813), Mary Cassatt (1844), Arthur Conan Doyle (1859), Robert Gordon Sproul (1891), Laurence Olivier (1907), Anatol Rapoport (1911), Vance Packard (1914), T Boone Pickens (1928), Richard Benjamin (1938), Bernie Taupin (1950), and Naomi Campbell (1970).

On May twenty-second the Peace of Goulet began (1200), the first atlas was published (1570), the first life insurance policy was issued (1761), the first public library opened (CT, 1803), the Associated Press organized (1900), the Truman Doctrine went into effect (1947), Bob Dylan was Bar Mitzvahed (Robert Zimmerman, 1954), the last "Bob Hope Show" aired on tv (1956), Willie Stargel hit 3 home runs, a double and a single (1968), Ceylon became the Republic of Sri Lanka (1972), Windows 3.0 was released (1990), and Johnny Carson did his last Tonight Show (1992).

Night Sky, 5/22: The waxing moon is 38% illuminated and is moving through the constellation Leo after sunset. In the early morning hours the moon will be halfway between Saturn and Venus.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Heck's Angels

This Week: Saturday, May 23 – World Turtle Day & National Learn to Swim Day & World Fish Migration Day

Sunday, May 24 – Brother's Day & Morse Code Day & Neighbor Day & Yucatan Shrimp Day

Night Sky, 5/24: Venus sets at 11:06 pm in the west northwest. Jupiter follows at 12:12 am

Monday, May 25 – Cookie Monster's Birthday & Memorial Day & Towel Day & National Tap Dance Day

Tuesday, May 26 – National Paper Airplane Day & Women's Golf Day & World Lindy Hop Day

Wednesday, May 27 – Joe Cool Day & World Otter Day & National Senior Health and Fitness Day

Night Sky, 5/27: Sunrise: 5:59 am Sunset: 8:37 (14 Hours and 37 minutes of daylight.) Moonrise: 9:43 pm Moonset: 10:30 am

Thursday, May 28 – Amnesty International Founders Day & Sierra Club Day & US Border Patrol Day

My glow up is entirely matte black. … My goth alarm clock doesn't ring; it whispers discouraging words. … I'm so goth my aura is 99% midnight.

..........The ice age is comin', the sun's zoomin' in.........The Clash …..London Calling

2) 221 Baker Street: There is no 221B Baker St in London. There was no 221B Baker St. in late 1880 when Sir Arthur Conan Doyle created Holmes, and technically speaking, there is still no such address. Today, you can find The Sherlock Holmes Museum at 221B Baker Street. However, physically, the museum sits between 237 and 241 Baker Street.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: T-shirt with Mike Johnson's picture and caption: Because Trump can't lick his own balls.

Moonbeam: The outstanding feature of behavior is that it is often quite easy to recognize but extremely difficult or impossible to describe with precision. --Anatol Rapoport

Fun Facts of the Week: It's National Unicycle Week (17-23). There are about one million people in the US who can ride a unicycle. Frederick Myers patented the “velocipede” in 1869 and Battista Scuri patented his unicycle in 1881 using the same name. But once people began calling two-wheelers bicycles the unicycle got its true name.

Video of the Week: Billy Bragg singing Woody's All You Fascists Bound To Lose https://youtu.be/SFPL97m2dsw

Women should be someone and not something. --Mary Cassatt

I'm so goth, I shit bats. … Goth diet: black coffee, black licorice, black despair. … My personality is 50% sarcasm, 50% cemetery chic.

..........Something evil's lurking from the dark.........Michael Jackson ….Thriller

3) The hat that we immediately picture Sherlock Holmes in was never once mentioned by Doyle in the novels. So then where did this distinguished image of the detective in a deerstalker come from? Sidney Paget. Works by illustrator Sidney Paget were published alongside a few of Doyle’s short stories in Strand magazine in the late 1800s. She created the look that we all know best.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I just uttered the phrase “struggling to exercise good discernment regarding sharing his opinions”, so if you're ever wondering what “that jack*** needs to shut the f***up” sounds like in Quaker, now you know. --@LeeFlower --Submitted by UUHS

Weird Word of the Week: Flâneur: A person who walks the city streets with no particular purpose, often just observing and experiencing the city life. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fl%C3%A2neur

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Strip paint off metal patio furniture. Cover the spot you wish to strip for one week with a bath towel saturated with Coca-Cola. Add more Coke every day to keep the towel wet. The paint strips right off. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola2.html ~~And we drink this stuff.

I'm so goth, I wear sunglasses at night to avoid the moonlight. … My playlist is so goth, even Spotify needed a therapy session. … I wear black because it matches my thoughts.

...........all the people livin' life in peace.........John Lennon …..Imagine

4) Unfortunately, that famous line that Holmes supposedly says all the time, “Elementary, my dear Watson,” was also fiction, just like his cap. The character did in fact say “Elementary” and “my dear Watson” both separately, at separate times. However they were never spoken all at once by Holmes in the pages of Doyle’s books.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it. --Dorothy Parker

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Midwest Conquest 2026 (22-24, Raytown, MO) Hosted by The Heroic Morale 40K Club https://www.midwestconquest.com/

Updated Title of the Week: Alexandre Dumas: The Count of Dodgy Crypto --Christopher Ramsay

Spark of Joy of the Week: The horrors persist but so do libraries, books, iced coffee, sunsets, trees, the word “fuck”, the moon, and the sea. --Nadine Antoinette --Submitted by MMS

Goth: Sad but aesthetically pleasing. … Too goth to function, too cute to care. … My wardrobe is so dark, it absorbs light bulbs.

..........This could be heaven or this could be hell.........The Eagles …..Hotel California

5) Doyle originally named his beloved detective “Sherrinford.” Thankfully, Doyle’s love for cricket is what led him to “Sherlock.” The author renamed the character after one of his favorite cricket players.

Irony of the Week: Congress is making a strong case that minimum wage should start at $174,000/year –Fight for a Union --Submitted by Catsonacouch ~~Protest Sign OTW was cruelly yanked from its customary spot and fused with image of the week.

Quote of the Week: Give us a peace that dares us to be wise. Give us a peace that dares us to be strong... Give Us Our Peace by Langston Hughes who died May 22, 1967 This is my favorite Peace Poem.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dinosaurs died out and their bodies turned into oil over millions of years. Humans pumped up that oil and refined it into plastic, and then used that plastic to manufacture toy dinosaurs. --Submitted by Club42

Today's Peace of History: May 22, 1968: Federal marshals entered Boston’s Arlington Street Unitarian-Universalist Church to arrest Robert Talmanson, who had been convicted of refusing induction into the U.S. Armed Forces. He had been offered sanctuary there by the leaders of the church who shared his opposition to the Vietnam War. When the marshals tried to remove him, access to their car was blocked by 200-300 nonviolent sanctuary supporters.

I'm so goth that I don't buy black clothes; I just put them on and they turn black. ... Everyone wants a goth girl friend until they realize we basically only look like Queens of the Night 10% of the time; the rest is spent lurking around in Nightmare Before Christmas pajamas and hissing until we get snacks.

..........And keep your eyes wide the chance won't come again..........Bob Dylan …..The Times They Are A'changin'

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 22, 2026: Bleak** ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: The actor should be able to create the universe in the palm of his hand. --Laurence Olivier

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 5/21/26: $649,136,901,742 This week: 19 billion 214 million 81 thousand 994 dollars for war.

Pentagon Spending as of 5/14/26: $629,922,819,748

Pentagon Spending as of 5/07/26: $610,538,452,895

Pentagon Spending as of 5/01/26: $592,500,326,688

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $ 81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/

To abuse and insult, is inconsistent with reason and justice. --Ram Mohan Roy

Famous Last Words: Good night everybody! ...Final words of the the final The Late Show with Stephen Colbert 5/21/26

..........Sit back and let the evening go.........The Beatles …..Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color. ... All my jokes are cries for help. … I don't smile often but when I do, it's sarcastic.

May Peace brighten your days

And Joy light up your nights

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Winged ePistle

Famous First Words: William Stoner entered the University... John Williams opening line from Stoner published 5/8/65

Happy Flight Attendant Day! Did you know: The flight attendant smile has been fooling passengers since 1912. ₰₰ Most people who instantly dislike their flight attendant do it to save time later.

..........How many roads must a man walk down.........Bob Dylan …..Blowin' In The Wind (recorded 1961)

The women of the world will dominate politics, some day, and you mustn't be too old-fashioned in your notions to join the procession of progress. --L Frank Baum

Christine Update: This week my dermatologist said I have squamous cell carcinoma. There is one less serious kind of skin cancer, but this one rarely spreads to other body parts unless it is left untreated for a while. They will remove the rest of it by Mohs surgery. My date is July 14. Waiting for the results of a biopsy was a brand new experience for me. It is kind of like living in two worlds at once – Schrodinger's world. I'm glad I have the results and I'm glad I don't need radiation or chemo. I was seriously considering not doing either of those if that was the only treatment. Whew!

It is another breezy Friday morning. The sky is covered in clouds that look like they might rain later, but not now. The tree limbs are thrashing about, dancing with the wind and sounding like nature partying. The city is getting ready to send newly educated minds into the world to find jobs and improve our existence. Spring has, indeed, busted out all over and is showing off its new spring coats and colors. A small gathering of squirrels and sparrows are chirping and whatever that is the squirrels do outside my back door. I raise a cup of decaf to them and to the beautiful world they inhabit. Cheers!

Hope your weekend flies like the eagle, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Happy Mothers Day, Mom! Thanks for the womb and board. https://www.facebook.com/TheIndianHillsCommunityCenterAndSign

Frida the flight attendant used to introduce herself as Unexpected Turbulence. ₰₰ Oh, stewardess, what are we flying over right now? “The planet Earth.”

..........You sit back and watch when the death count gets higher.........Bob Dylan …..Masters of War (recorded 1963)

Trivia Questions: It's National Pizza Party Day !!!!!

1. How many books on pizza does the Library of Congress have?

2. How many billion pizzas are sold in the US each year?

3. What is the second most popular pizza topping in the US? (Pepperoni is first, obviously),

4. Where is the annual Pizza Expo held?

5. Who was the first Pizza Delivery person?

Big Hello: āssālam 'alaikum – Urdu (Pakistan & India) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My damn car was on E! I put $20 in now it's on E+. --Submitted by RHOZ

Image of the Week: Mad Greek Mother's Day Roses

Warning of the Week: Boy, I say, boy, you're about to exceed the limitations of my medication. https://www.facebook.com/groups/2167113653385149/

Question of the Week: Wonder if I can teach the self cleaning oven how to clean the rest of the kitchen? --Jack Black

Fred the flight attendant always asked passengers what they wanted for lunch and whether it was for here or to go. ₰₰ When announcing the meal choices, Spaghetti with Plane pasta sauce was the favorite.

..........Sure was going to be rough.........Bob Dylan …..Tangled Up In Blue (recorded 1975)

Moonbeam: A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke – and that the joke is oneself. --Clifton Fadiman

Blasphemy of the Week: muffins are unburdened with knowledge; they are innocent, they are free and wild. Cupcake however began wearing clothes after becoming aware of their nakedness. --comradeella --Submitted by Wittenburg Door

Coffee Joke of the Week: A job in the coffee industry does have a lot of perks.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The easiest way to understand what type of church someone goes to, ask “do your pastors dress like hippies, rappers, businessmen, or wizards? --Ify Nsoha --Submitted by MMS

How often do planes crash? Just once. ₰₰ Flight Attendant: A person who can put up with a lot of hooey and look damned good doing it.

..........Everybody's gonna want a dose.........Bob Dylan …..The Mighty Quinn (recorded 1970)

1) The Library of Congress does not have an exact, publicly listed count of books exclusively about pizza. However, it holds a vast collection of over 40,000 cookbooks, with pizza-related titles.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 15, 2026. The moon will be new tomorrow (5/16) and is in Taurus. The United Nations has declared this International Day of Families. Today is also Flight Attendant Day, National Chocolate Chip Day, International Conscientious Objectors Day, International Kangaroo Care Awareness Day, International MPS Awareness Day, National Slider Day, National Trauma Survivors Day, National Tuberous Sclerosis Day, Peace Officer Memorial Day, Straw Hat Day, and World Orthodontic Health Day. Because it is the Third Friday it is also Endangered Species Day, International Virtual Assistants Day, NASCAR Day, National Bike to Work Day, National Defense Transportation Day, National Pizza Party Day, and World Eel Day. And all weekend is Morel Mushroom Weekend.

Among those born on this day were Claudio Monteverdi (1567), Lyman Frank Baum (1856), Pierre Curie (1859), Bessie Hillman (1889), Kathernie Anne Porter (1890), Richard J. Daley (1902), Clifton Fadiman (1904), Joseph Cotten (1905), Richard Avedon (1923), Jasper Johns (1930), Chazz Palminteri (1946), George Brett (1953), Emmitt Smith (1969), Ray Lewis (1975), and David Krumholtz (1978).

On May fifteenth Anne Boleyn was accused of adultery (1536), Mary, Queen of Scots, married the Earl of Bothwell (1567), Kepler discovered the harmonics law (1618), Massachusetts enacted the first copyright law (1672), the Peace Treaty of Paris was signed (France & Sardinia, 1796), John the Baptist ordained Joseph Smith (1829), the Department of Agriculture was created (1862), the National Woman Suffrage Association formed (1869), Kappa Alpha Psi incorporated (1911), Mickey Mouse first appeared (1928), Nylon stockings go on sale (1940), Rationing of gasoline began (1942), the Warsaw ghetto uprising ended (1943), the Beach Boys released Carl and the Passions: So Tough (1972), the Harlem Globetrotters appeared on Gilligan's Island (1981), Bob Dylan was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame (1982), and Nils Lofgren replaced Steve Van Zant in Springsteen's E Street Band.

Night Sky, 5/15: Mercury becomes visible by the end of the month, quickly increasing its elongation from the Sun.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Dad and the boys in the extreme outfield of a nearly empty ballpark.

This Week: Saturday, May 16 – International Day of Living In Peace & National Auctioneers Day & National Piercing Day & World Fiddle Day

Night Sky, 5/16: A double shadow transit occurs May 15/16, as Europa and Ganymede’s shadows cross the jovian disk overnight.

Sunday, May 17 – Ride A Unicycle Day & Rural Life Sunday & Take Your Parents To The Playground Day

Monday, May 18 – International Museum Day & Buy A Musical Instrument Day & Visit or Relatives Day

Night Sky, 5/18: A lovely crescent Moon stands 2° north of Venus. Watch as the sky darkens and the earthshine on the Moon becomes more evident.

Tuesday, May 19 – May Ray Day & Accounting Day & National Scooter Day

Night Sky 5/19: Venus crosses into Gemini and stands some 20° west of Jupiter, while the crescent Moon has moved up to meet Jupiter, situated in the middle of Gemini about 7° from the bright planet.

Wednesday, May 20 - Emergency Medical Services For Children Day & EMS Day & National Rescue Dog Day & World Bee Day

Thursday, May 21 – National Memo Day & Shavuot & End of the World Prediction Party

Night Sky 5/21: Sunrise: 6:03 am Sunset: 8:31 pm (14 hours and 27 minutes of daylight) Moonrise: 11:41 am Moonset: 11:16 pm

The best part of being a flight attendant has to be when you walk the aisle saying “trash” to everyone's face. ₰₰ The flight attendant asked me if I wanted a drink. I asked, “what are the options?” She said, “Yes or no”

..........Oh, the flowers of indulgence and the weeds of yesteryear.........Bob Dylan …..Every Grain Of Sand (recorded 19821)

2) Around 3 billion pizzas are sold each year in the US.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: JD Vance found 196,000 dead people that are still on Medicaid. Community Note: Dead people are unable to unenroll from Medicaid, because they are dead. Since they are dead, they lack the ability to use Medicaid. Being enrolled in Medicaid and billing Medicaid are not the same thing. --Submitted by gr of oh

Moonbeam: Do something, do something to that, and then do something to that. --Jasper Johns

Fun Fact of the Week: Chocolate chips were invented in 1937 by Ruth Graves Wakefield, who added chopped-up Nestlé semi-sweet chocolate bars to cookie dough, expecting them to melt. Instead, they held their shape, creating the iconic "morsel" that Nestlé later mass-produced to meet demand.

Video of the Week: Bette Midler singing All You Fascists Bound To Lose (with updated lyrics) https://youtu.be/uBj57ivPsxQ (2:30)

It's a man's world, and men can have it. --Kathrine Anne Porter

On a flight from Dublin, Ireland to Boston, the flight attendant made an announcement: "Due to a terrible mistake by the airline's caterer, there are only 80 dinners instead of the 225 required to feed all the passengers on board. To fix the situation, we are offering unlimited drinks to anybody who is willing to give up their meal". Two hours before landing, another announcement was made. "There are still 80 meals available if anybody is hungry". ₰₰ The football player said to the flight attendant, “put me in coach”.

..........In Jersey, anything's legal as long as you don't get caught.........Traveling Wilburys with Bob Dylan …..Tweeter And The Monkey Man (Recorded 1988)

3) Sausage is the second most ordered pizza topping in the US. Mushrooms are third and extra cheese is fourth.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61563097533852

Weird Word of the Week: Noctilucent: shining at night https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/noctilucent

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Give a freshly waxed dance floor more traction. Mop the floor with Coca-Cola and let dry to add a sticky coating that prevents the dancers from sliding across a slippery dance floor. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola2.html

Second Blasphemy of the Week: America has never been a Christian nation. White Christians have been so busy being white they've never gotten around to being Christian. https://www.facebook.com/EspirituChicano

The flight attendant landed this one on us yesterday. We had just landed on the runway and the flight attendant announced over the speaker. "Hey folks...um yeah, sorry about that rough landing... ...wasn't the captain's fault, ...definitely wasn't my fault, ...it was the asphalt." ₰₰ Do flight attendants prefer their bagels plane?

...........Let the wind blow low, let the wind blow high.........Bob Dylan …..Under The Red Sky (recorded 1990)

4) Las Vegas hosts the Annual Pizza Expo. (Sorry not open to the public)

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm gonna stop calling them MAGA White Evangelicals and start calling them Pulp Fiction Christians. --Mary Ann Bain

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Quantum-Con 4 (15-17, Plymouth, MN) ...a welcoming convention celebrating everything... https://quantum-con.org/

Insult of the Week: You soup fork.

Spark of Joy of the Week: Georgia Sea Otter Cam: https://www.georgiaaquarium.org/webcam/southern-sea-otter-webcam/

Nerd Word of the Week: Micturating: the act of passing urine or urinating, derived from the Latin micturire. It is frequently used in medical contexts. ...Disenfranchising Black people benefits Republicans because Black people vote for Democrats, and Roberts and his fellow party activists on the Court will delete nearly any law that stands in the way of that. The decision might as well have been copy-pasted from the lorem ipsum text. To adjust the saying somewhat, Roberts is micturating directly in our collective eye sockets and then saying “it isn’t raining at all, no sir, and frankly you’re very rude for even mentioning the word ‘wet.’” --Submitted by vr of 66

Henry Winkler sits down on an airplane. The flight attendant comes over and asks him if he would like free headphones. He responds “Sounds great. But it’s pronounced Fonz.” ₰₰ My flight attendant girlfriend just broke up with me. She said we were going in different directions.

..........Well, the devil's in the alley, mule's in the stall.........Bob Dylan …..Mississippi (Recorded 2001)

5) Future king David delivered bread, cheese and grains to his brothers on the battlefield and then hung around to murder Goliath. (I Samuel 17: 17-28) Scholars have decided this happened about 1015 BCE.

Protest Sign of the Week: Mothers Against Donald's Destruction

Bitter Protest Sign of the Week: Sundays 12 -1 63 Exasperating weeks of Fighting for Democracy

Chant of the Week: We don't care about UFOs; Trump is a pedophile, everybody knows!

Quote of the Week: You lost your muchness. You used to be much muchier. --The Mad Hatter Lewis Carroll

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If there's an idiot in power it means those who elected him are well represented. --Submitted by jm of ks

Today's Peace of History: May 15, 1935: The National Labor Relations Act was passed, recognizing workers' rights to organize unions and bargain collectively with their employers.

Another Today's Peace of History: May 15 since 1985: International Conscientious Objectors Day, established to honor those who leave or refuse to enter their country’s armed forces for reasons of principle.

Flight Attendant: Please don't forget to activate 'airplane mode' Me: Running around with my arms spread making airplane noises. ₰₰ A photon decides to go on a day trip to Vegas. When they went to board their plane, the flight attendant said "I'm sorry, did you forget your carry-on?" "No," said the photon, "I'm traveling light".

..........Those icy fingers up and down my spine.........Bob Dylan …..That Old Black Magic (recorded 2016)

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 15, 2026: Winged ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: A scientist in his laboratory is not only a technician, he is also a child placed before natural phenomena which impress him like a fairy tale. --Pierre Curie

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 5/14/26: $629,922,819,748 (19 billion, 384 million, 366 thousand, 852 dollars this week)

Pentagon Spending as of 5/07/26: $610,538,452,895

Pentagon Spending as of 5/01/26: $592,500,326,688

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/

Measles Cases in the US: In May there were 1,842 confirmed measles cases. (94 new cases this month) In April 2026 there were 1,748 confirmed measles cases. In March 2026 there were 1,362 confirmed cases. https://www.cdc.gov/measles/data-research/index.html ~~In the entire year 2010 there were only 63 confirmed cases.

... the political system is changing rapidly in this country, and we better realize that. The elephants or donkeys are not what younger people look to. They look at individual candidates' philosophy, and I think it's a different time and a different generation. --Richard M Daley

Famous Last Words: I must go; the fog is rising. --Emily Dickinson who died may 15^th 1886 of kidney failure.

..........Someday, everything is going to be different.........Bob Dylan …..When I Paint My Masterpiece (reissued 2025)

I was okay until the Klingon sitting next to me said to the flight attendant, “Today is a good day to fly”. ₰₰ Why did the flight attendant pass away? She was terminally ill.

May Peace warm your engines

And Joy cool your jets

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Toddlin' ePistle

Famous First Words: I dig a pygmy.. Opening intro of Let It Be, the Beatles last studio album

Happy Day Care Provider Day! I experienced a real nursery crime today. Someone broke in and stole all the Dr Seuss books at the Happy Times Childcare Center. §§ A toddler is like a blender without a lid.

..........what on earth is wrong with you?..........Robert Johnson …..Milkcow's Calf Blues

Political Freedom without economic equality is a pretense, a fraud, a lie; and the workers want no lying. --Mikhail Alexandrovich Bakunin

It is a gray Friday morning. The sky is thick with clouds, some white, some gray, a few moving under the denser cover. There is a slight breeze but the 61°F temperature is warm and fresh. Rain seems possible but not imminent. No bird song cheers the scene nor kisses the ear. Instead motor car sounds, both near and more distant, fill the air and bring to mind work and school and errands. I sit comfortably at my desk listening to Puck snoring. The coffee begins wake me up when I inhale that wonderful aroma and then tastes hot, creamy and delicious At last my favorite part of Friday mornings when my mind floods with thoughts of the ePistliers to whom I write...perhaps sitting at their desks or staring at their phones. Good morning to you all.

Hope your weekend is loving and caring and the best one this year, dear friends

First Funniest Things I Read of the Week: JD Vance is a fusion of every kid that vanished on the Wonka Factory Tour. --johnfugelsang / Oompa loompa doopety dope … Who f*cked a couch and murdered the Pope? --stevenhofstetter --Submitted by Catsonacouch

Cinco de Mayo Quote of the Week: I do not know the secret to happiness but I know I have never been unhappy in a Mexican restaurant.

One day I hope to be as savage as my toddler who just looked me in the eyes and said “uh oh” before snapping a toy in half. §§ Sign on the Daycare Center Door: Do Not Disturb! IT'S NAPTIME! You Wake 'em, You Take 'em

..........You got to please yourself..........Ricky Nelson …..Garden Party

Trivia Questions: Happy 149^th Birthday to the Westminster Dog Show!

1. Where was the first Westminster Dog Show held?

2. How many breeds participated in the first Westminster Dog Show (WDS)?

3. What breed has won the most Best In Show awards?

4. How many and/or which breeds were added in 2026?

5. About how many dogs participated in the 2025 WDS?

Big Hello: Copoдэ – Ulch (a Manchu-Tungus language spoken in Siberia.) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: J Edgar Boozer formerly known as Kash Patel.

Image of the Week: Happy Fair Trade Day (cartoon from the 19^th century)

My daycare changed their billing policy. Now we pay by the minute. §§ My toddler recently swallowed several plastic horses, but she's in stable condition.

.........Fell down on my knees..........Robert Johnson …..Crossroad

Moonbeam: Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time; and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in. --Harry S Truman

Blasphemy of the Week: A jealous lover of human liberty, deeming it the absolute condition of all that we admire and respect in humanity, I reverse the phrase of Voltaire, and say that, if God really existed, it would be necessary to abolish him. --Mikhail Bakunin

Coffee Joke of the Week: This coffee is so bad that when I pour it out it will go to perkatory.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I do not WANT a gumbo recipe from the New York Times. I WANT a gumbo recipe from an old woman named Mawmaw Thibodeaux-Landry, who can bare knuckle box an alligator while reciting the Holy Rosary in Cajun French. https://www.facebook.com/groups/3998736640363910/

A toddler has more teeth, smells better, and has thrown tantrums for more justified reasons than a Capitol Rioter. §§ Justin is probably 30 by now, shouldn't someone have picked him up from daycare by now?

..........When we walked in the sands of the Waikiki..........Rickey Nelson …..Travelin' Man

1) The first WDS was held in Gilmore's Gardens, NYC, 1877.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 8, 2026. The moon will enter its last quarter tomorrow (5/9) and is in Aquarius. The United Nations has declared today and tomorrow Time of Remembrance & Reconciliation for Those Who Lost Their Lives During WWII. (8th & 9^th) Today is also Child Care Provider Day, Free Trade Day, International Thalassaemia Day, National Animal Disaster Preparedness Day, National Cruelty Free Day, No Socks Day, Student Nurse Day, Victory in Europe Day, World Ovarian Cancer Day, and World Red Cross/Red Crescent Day. Because it is the second Friday in May it is Fintastic Friday: Giving Sharks a Voice and because it is the Friday before Mother's Day it is also Military Spouse Appreciation Day and National Public Gardens Day,

Among those born on this day were Edward Gibbon (1737), Miguel Hidalgo y Castilla (1753), Mikhail Alexandrovich Bakunin (1814), Jean Henri Dunant (1828), Oscar Hammerstein (1846), Louis Madelin (1871), Harry S. Truman (1884), Ezio Pinza (1892), Fulton J Sheen (1895), Jan (Fritz) van Hall (1899), Mary Lou Williams (1910), Robert Johnson (1911), Don Rickles (1926), Theodore Sorensen (1928), Gary Snyder (Japhy Ryder, 1930), Sonny Liston (1934), James Darren (1936), Thomas Pynchon (1937), Rick Nelson (Eric Hilliard, 1940), Peter Benchley (1940), Euclid "Motorhead" Sherwood (1942), Toni Tennille (1943), Alex Van Halen (1955), and Melissa Gilbert (1964).

On May eighth Coddington founded Newport (RI, 1639), the US established a military draft (1792), the rubber tire was patented (1847), John Brown held an anti-slavery convention (Chatham, Canada, 1858), the first Westminster Dog Show opened (1877), Sweden abolished capital punishment (1921), the first eye bank opened (NYC, 1944), the Beatles released Let It Be (1970), and the World Health Organization announced that smallpox had been eradicated (1980).

Night Sky, 5/8: The shadows of moons Europa and Ganymede will be visible crossing the clouds tops of Jupiter in the western sky just after sunset. Venus shines there too. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Boys at bath

This Week: Saturday, May 9 – Alphabet Magnet Day & National Windmill Day & World Migratory Bird Day

Today is Letter Carriers' Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive Day

Sunday, May 10 – Mother's Day & Clean Your Room Day & National Hamster Day

Night Sky, 5/10: Sunrise: 6:12 am Sunset: 8:22 pm (14 hours and 10 minutes of daylight) Moonrise: 9:07 am Moonset: 6:13 pm

Monday, May 11 – Eat What You Want Day & National Foam Rolling Day & National Women's Check-up Day

Tuesday, May 12 – International Nurses Day & Native American Rights Day & Odometer Day

Night Sky,12: Head out an hour before sunrise on the mornings of May 12 to 13 to catch an eye-popping alignment in the eastern sky. Mars, Saturn, and the crescent moon will line up almost perfectly just above the east horizon. The trio will appear roughly an hour before sunrise, then climb higher before our bright star ascends.

Wednesday, May 13 – American Indian Day & Indigenous Arts Day & World Cocktail Day

Thursday, May 14 – National Chicken Dance Day & Underground America Day & National Decency Day

Florida just converted an abandoned off-shore oil rig into a daycare center. §§ I've started a diet where I only eat my toddler's leftover food. I've gained 10 pound.

..........Can't stand to leave her be..........Robert Johnson …..Kind Hearted Woman

2) Only 35 breeds were represented, along with a Miscellaneous class at the first WDS. As more breeds become recognized by the American Kennel Club, more are competing for the title of Best in Show at Westminster – so the competition only gets stiffer!

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: She said she liked a man who smells expensive. So I doused myself with gasoline.

Moonbeam: The proud man counts his newspaper clippings, the humble man his blessings. --Fulton J Sheen

Fun Fact of the Week: The Jewish year is 5789. The Chinese year is now 4723. This means that the Jews had to live for 1.063 years without Chinese food, a time known as the Dark Ages. https://www.facebook.com/grumpyoldgits

Video of the Week: Rick Nelson was my very first crush. Here he is singing Hello, Mary Lou on the Ozzie and Harriet show. (2:03) https://youtu.be/zLkCWT2neuI

Audio of the Week: All You Fascists Bound To Lose by The Resistance Revival Chorus https://youtu.be/dWUa7aAIfLE

The privileged man, whether he be privileged politically or economically, is a man depraved in intellect and heart. --Mikhail Alexandrovich Bakunin

Are they called baby boomers because their parents gave them dynamite when they were toddlers? §§ When the bough broke, how much did the daycare center have to pay in damages?

..........With her carefree devil eyes..........Ricky Nelson …..Poor Little Fool

3) Wire Fox Terriers have won Best In Show at Westminster 15 times. Scottish Terriers have won 8, English Springer Spaniels have won 6, and Pekingese have won 5.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My son is making the impassioned case that “extraordinary” means something is even more ordinary than usual and although my evidence is strong -- ”that's not what it means” --I'm still, somehow, losing the argument. --Henpecked Hal

Weird Word of the Week: Thalassophile – a lover of the sea. https://www.surfinghandbook.com/what-is-a-thalassophile/

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean a grease stain from a vinyl floor. Pour Coca-Cola over the stain, let sit for two hours, and mop up the mess. The phosphoric acid in the coke helps dissolve the grease stain. https://www.surfinghandbook.com/what-is-a-thalassophile/

Question of the Week: How would the lives of the dinosaurs have been different if they'd had coffee.

Hello, is this L'il Tykes Daycare? This is Ethan. I'll be playing from home today. §§ I think my toddler could light the house. She generates about 100 “whats” a day.

...........Telephone every town I know..........Robert Johnson …..Dust My Broom

4) 3 new breeds were added this year. The Russian Tsvetnaya Bolonka - a dark, curly-coated toy breed from Russia; the Basset Fauve de Bretagne - a hound with royal heritage; and the Teddy Roosevelt Terrier - named in honor of a U.S. president, earned full American Kennel Club recognition on January 1, 2026.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Titanic had a ballroom and yet it still sank. https://www.facebook.com/AzDemocraticWomen

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: The Watch City Steampunk Festival (9, Waltham, MA) ...free outdoor festival https://www.watchcityfestival.com/

Another Blasphemy of the Week: Extending ONE HAND to help somebody has more value than joining TWO HANDS for prayer. --Submitted by MMS

Spark of Joy of the Week: I just saw a cartoon by WARP. It is our moon. The Earth is circling around it. Our sun, Sol, is orbiting around them both. Three concentric circles. Moon Earth Sun The caption is What the Moon Believes.

My toddler is like Jesus; he can turn water into “whine”. §§ The motto at Mr Tatnaill's Daycare Emporium is “Just Don't Kill each Other!”.

..........I'm gonna run right by your side..........Ricky Nelson …..I'm Walkin'

5) About 3000 dogs participated in the 2025 dog show.

Protest Sign of the Week: Beware Of The Seashells

Quote of the Week: If the poor, the women, and the dispossessed sat at the tables where theological decisions are made, there would be a different set of sins. --Sister Joan Chittister.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's crazy that in one lifetime I have recorded songs onto a cassette tape, burned them onto a CD, loaded them onto an MP3 player, and now I stream them from my phone. I feel like an historical documentary. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Today's Peace of History: May 8, 1961: An estimated 9 million people in Belgium participated in a ten-minute work stoppage to protest nuclear weapons.

Of course for a full 40 hours week here at Rainbow Childcare we have various payment options. How healthy is your liver? §§ An army of toddlers is called infantry.

..........I'm booked, I gotta go..........Robert Johnson …..Sweet Home Chicago

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 8, 2026: Toddlin' ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect. --Edward Gibbon

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 5/07/26: $610,538,452,895

Pentagon Spending as of 5/01/26: $592,500,326,688 (7 days in May, 18 billion dollars)

Pentagon Spending is April 2026: $ 81,264,897,294

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/

Powerful states can maintain themselves only by crime, little states are virtuous only by weakness. --Mikhail Alexandrovich Bakunin

Famous Last Words: Get back, oh yeah. The Beatles Get Back – final song of Let It Be

..........I thought about a moonlit night..........Ricky Nelson …..Hello, Marylou, Goodbye Heart

Well, you just don't want to be the parent whose toddler is causing the Daycare Lady to drink. §§ My toddler swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles. Her next bathroom trip spelled disaster.

May Peace play your soundtrack

And Joy sing your lullaby

prairie mama

christine

PS If the Trump administration was a comedy instead of a reality show, it would be pretty funny.

Last Laugh: