The Android ePistle

Famous First Words: Through the fence, between the curling flower spaces... The Sound and The Fury by William Faulkner

Rise and Shine. ePistliers! These fresh horrors aren't going to face themselves.

Tomorrow, September 26, is National Robot Day! When the war with the machines starts everybody wants to blow up the printer; nobody wants to shoot the coffee maker. / Rob Robot loves all of Anne Droid's novels. / Rosie the Robot always used to take the long way home. They called it R2 Detour.

..........Moving her body like an old tin can.........The Incredible String Band …..Robot Blues

No one learns more about a problem than the person on the bottom. --Sandra Day O'Connor

Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 1 - We do not want war.

The light is just beginning to reveal the world anew. I've had a “bad night” restless, nearly sleepless due to numbness and pain in my right arm and hand. I'm afraid that typing might make it worse. But I still like to hear the light rain against the window and to listen to the birds. Have a great day out there.

Hope your weekend is naturally fun, audience of real live people.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I just realized that the paper towels at the side of the gas pump are there so you can wipe your tears after you fill your tank. --Kenneth Waggoner --Submitted by ks of ks

Optical Illusion of the Week: Goat or kookaburra bird I love these illusions.

I must admit there are living people whom I think ought to be Upgraded or be deleted. / When I found Dolly Droid plugged into my phone charger all I did was point a finger at her. She smiled and said, “guilty as charged”.

..........Rock, Robot, Rock.........Daft Punk …..Robot Rock

Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 2 - The opposite party alone is guilty of war.

Trivia Questions: It's Save The Koalas Day!

1. Why do koalas need to be saved?

2. They're called koala bears but what are they really?

3. Since Australia has many indigenous languages there are many different names for the koala. Many of them mean “no water”; why?

4. What is the koala lifespan?

5. How many koalas are left on the planet?

Big Hello: Ba'ax ka wa'alik – Yucatec Maya (Mexico) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Wrote of the Week: Single ladies, tired women, girls starting out...speaking of robotics and technology, there is new, good sex technology these days. You can get it online so you never have to face a human if you're embarrassed. What you get is twice the orgasams in half the time with NONE of the ego.

Image of the Week: Singers from the Lawrence, KS weekly Indivisible/Free Lawrence protests (Sundays, 12-1 pm, 9^th & Mass)

Insult of the Week: Bringing you up to speed is like trying to explain Norway to a dog.

Dobby Droid ran away from his job as Elon Musk's go-fer. He joined the heavy metal band, Droidlocks. Their big hit was Light My Wire. / That woman is way too obsessed with AI. Her pet dog is the Mars Rover.

….......may be paranoid but not an android..........Radiohead …..Paranoid Android

Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 3 - The enemy is the face of the devil.

Moonbeam: Comfortable shoes and the freedom to leave are the 2 most important things in life. --Shel Silverstein

Blasphemy of the Week: Beware those who claim to know the mind of God and are prepared to use force, if necessary, to make others conform. Beware those who cannot tell God's will—from their own. --Barbara Brown Taylor

Coffee Joke of the Week: The lab wanted everybody to love their new creation, Andy Android. So they figured they needed to program it to love others. Try as they might, they never found a way to do that. So they taught it to make coffee and sure enough everybody loves it.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Billionaires suddenly turning against AI makes me wonder if the models suggested wealth redistribution as the actual solution to a problem. --Submitted by 98%

You know when the computer asks you if you're a robot. It's just Cyrus Cyborg trying to find his mom. So sad. / I swear AI never gets it right. I sent my brother an email saying I needed a break and my computer sent me a case of KitKat bars.

..........no remorse, metal bloodshed..........Shikari …..Robot Wars

Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 4 - We defend a noble cause, not our own interests.

1) Koalas are losing their habitat to housing, agriculture, roads, and logging. Bushfires and heat waves can be fatal to koalas. Also cars and dogs kill about 4,000 koalas a year. Drought is also a problem mostly by killing eucalyptus leaves.

Almanac: It is Friday, September 25. The moon will be full (Harvest) tomorrow (9/26) and is in Pisces. Today is Acne Scar Day, Ask A Stupid Question Day, Math Storytelling Day, National Daughters Day, National Lobster Day, National One-Hit Wonder Day, National Psychotherapy Day, National Quesadilla Day, National Research Administrators Day, National Tune-up Day, (World) Ataxia Awareness Day, World Lung Day, World Pharmacists Day, and Sukkot (begins at sundown). Because it is the last Friday in September it is also Hug A Vegan Day and/or Hug A Vegetarian Day, Baking Day, Save The Koala Day, and Support Purple for Platelets Day. Finally, because it is the 4^th Friday it is National Bakery Day, and Native American Day.

Among those born on this day were Fletcher Christian (1764), William Faulkner (1897), Mark Rothko (1903), Ethel Rosenberg (1915), Phil Rizzuto (1918), Barbara Walters (1929), Shel Silverstein (1930), John S. Bull (1934), Juliet Prowse (1936), Michael Douglas (1944), Mark Hamill (1951), Christopher Reeve (1952), Will Smith (1968), Catherine Zeta-Jones (1969), and Donald Glover (1983).

On September twenty-fifth Balboa became the first European to see the Pacific Ocean (1513), the first press in the new world began printing (1639), Publick Occurrences became the first newspaper in the new world (Boston, 1690), the US Secretary of the Navy authorized the enlistment of slaves (1861), Congress proposed the Bill of (12) Rights (1789), Yosemite National Park was established (1890), ground breaking for Fenway Park began (1811), president Wilson collapsed (1919), Lou Gehrig played in his 1500th consecutive game (1934), the first transatlantic telephone cable went into operation (1956), the Beatles cartoon debuted in the US (1965), and Sandra Day O'Connor was sworn in as the first female supreme court justice (1981).

Night Sky, 9/25: The moon is at 98% illumination and Neptune is in opposition to the sun.

Fraternal Pictures of the Week: Max turns 8

 and A boy and his hog

This Week: Saturday, September 26 – International Rabbit Day & National Doodle Day & World Contraception Day

Sunday, September 27 – Crush A Can Day & Happy Daughters Day & National Day of Forgiveness

Night Sky, 0/27: Morning Planets: Mars lines up with Castor and Pollux in Gemini and Jupiter shines near Regulus.

Monday, September 28 – International Right To Know Day & National Drink Beer Day & National Good Neighbor Day

Tuesday, September 29 – National Coffee Day & VFM Day & Silent Movie Night

Night Sky, 9/29: Evening Plantes: Venus, Mercury, Saturn, and Neptune.

Wednesday, September 30 – Blasphemy Day & National Love People Day & Recovery Day

Thursday, October 1 – International Coffee Day & National Hair Day & Vegan Baking Day

Night Sky, 10/1: Sunrise: 7:16 am Sunset: 7:04 pm 11 hours and 48 minutes of daylight. Moonset: 1:08 pm Moonrise: 10:12 pm

It's not fair; no matter how many bytes they take, biobots never gain weight. / No! No, please, don't take your robot to the shoe store to get it rebooted.

..........I'd just have to wind him with a robot key.........Connie Francis …..Robot Man

Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 5 - The enemy systematically commits cruelties; our mishaps are involuntary.

2) A koala is a tree-dwelling marsupial (Phascolarctos cinereus) native to Australia. They give birth to very undeveloped young called pinkies that are nursed in a pouch. Phascolarctos is Greek and means “pouch bear” and cinereus is Latin and means “ash colored”.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Have you ever noticed how many towns are named after their water tower? --Steve Acree Submitted by jm of ks

Moonbeam: If the track is tough and the hill is rough, THINKING you can just ain't enough. --Shel Silverstein

Fun Facts of the Week: A reminder, these are the three laws of robotics set forth by Isaac Asimov 1) A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2) A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings except when such an order would conflict with the First Law. 3) A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. ~~Have the designers demanded these laws be part of any and all AI systems? Have the programmers figured out how to program it into them?

Another Literary Fun Fact About Robots of the Week: The word robot was coined by Karel Čapek in a play called RUR (Rossum's Universal Robots, 1920). I seem to remember that the robots saved the world (but not necessarily the human race) because AI or evolution made 2 robots fall in love. My favorite Čapek book is The Absolute At Large. It's about GOD (not that one) being set loose on earth.

Video of the Week: Cute koala video (1:23) https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=445931414565230

The freedom to criticize judges and other public officials is necessary to a vibrant democracy. The problem comes when healthy criticism is replaced with more destructive intimidation and sanctions. --Sandra Day O'Connor

My robot dog is a model K9-3000. It chases data instead of sticks. / Alex Android was recently promoted to CEO of Yahoo. It was once one of the scanners whose job is looking for sedition threats in everybody's emails. But it couldn't laugh at the boss' jokes so he was going to fire it. Then the board of directors realized the android was more efficient, faster, and never took time off to expect laughs. So they fired the old CDO and hired the robot.

..........Pumping Valvoline.........Mayer Hawthorne …..Robot Love

Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 6 - The enemy uses forbidden weapons.

3) Koalas are called no drink or no water because they rarely descend from trees to drink. They get almost all their hydration from the eucalyptus leaves they eat. ~~If this is true, why are 4,000 killed by dogs and cars every year?

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If a plant is sad do other plants photosympathize with it? --Submitted by LanguageNerds

Weird Word of the Week: Selenology – the scientific study of the moon. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/selenology

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Water tomatoes or melons. Cut a 2-inch diameter hole in the bottom side of a clean, empty 2 liter bottle of Coca-Cola. Drill a 1/16 inch hole in the cap or 1/8 inch for clay soil. Plant the capped bottle upside-down six inches deep and roughly one foot away from the base of the tomato plants or in the middle of a melon hill. Fill the bottle with water every 4 days by placing a hose in the hole you cut in the base. For greater saturation, drill roughly a dozen holes in the top rounded part of the bottle before burying it. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola4.html

My automaton assistant went crazy and had to be recalled. She was just trying to search for some quotes from Brainyquotes.com. But the site demanded that she prove she wasn't a robot. She stayed at it for 3 days and then began pulling bolts out of her body. / Robot couples don't have relationships; they have relationchips.

...........Here comes a robot with electric brains.........They Might Be Giants …..Robot Parade

Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 7 - We suffer small losses, those of the enemy are enormous.

4) Koalas living in the wild typically live 10 to 15 years. The oldest known feral koala was a female aged 19 years. In captivity, koalas tend to live longer, reaching 15-20 years.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When life gives you lemons, congratulate yourself, you've avoided scurvy.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Ancient City Con (26-27, St Augustine, FL) Adventure is waiting... https://www.ancientcitycon.com/

Whatever This Is of the Week: How do we poets write poems in this age of a great dumpster fire? Our job as poets is to chronicle that dumpster fire. That's how every great epic in history got written. The Iliad is a chronicle of a great cultural dumpster fire. --Suazeus Simon Seamount

Spark of Joy of the Week: JV Vance referred to the left as “the fart left”. Fenton Bailey's response: “Better to be on the fart left than in the Turd Reich”. --Submitted by Catsonacouch

If these damned machines are so smart why don't they fix the printer? / My cyber assistant and I were walking down Broadway and I wanted a drink so we stopped at a bar. I ordered a shot of 12 year old single malt Scotch and the cyber sighed and said “I really need to loosen up, how about a screwdriver?”

..........we're such a perfect match.........Was Not Was …..Robot Girl

Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 8 - Artists and intellectuals back our cause.

5) Estimates of the number of koalas in the world range from 100,000 to 900,000. This includes wild and captive koalas.

Protest Sign of the Week: Geezers Against Caesars ...actually a t-shirt

Quote of the Week: We live in a world where there is more and more information, and less and less meaning. --Jean Baudrillard

Second Quote of the Week: Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. --Mark Skousen --Submitted by AnarchistBeauties

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I was reading about the myth of Prometheus today when the phrase “new liver, same eagles” popped into my mind, so I'm keeping that in mind for the next time someone asks me how it's going. --gayarsonist --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Today's Peace of History: September 25, 1957: Nine African-American children, protected by 300 members of the US Army's 101st Airborne Division, with fixed bayonets, entered the previously all-white Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas.

Professors Port and Beach built a humanoid and thought it was amusing for the power switch to be toggled by a kick in its butt. / I'll say one thing for my robot friend, it always has cache.

..........Machine or mannequin.........Styx …..Mr Roboto

Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 9 - Our cause is sacred.

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, September 25, 2026: The Android ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Never explain what you do. It speaks for itself. You only muddle it by talking about it. --Shel Silverstein

Cost of War: Pentagon Spending 9/24/26: $1,001,284,435,338 That's nineteen billion, One hundred and thirty-six million, two hundred and nineteen thousand, four hundred and seventy-six dollars this week. Notice too that the running total has reached a trillion dollars.

Pentagon Spending 9/17/26: $982,148,215,862

Pentagon Spending 9/10/26: $962,112,225,540

Pentagon Spending 9/3/26: $942,699,874,972

Non-violence is more powerful than violence. --Cesar Chavez

Pentagon Spending in August 2026: $89,089,647,361

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

I've always said that at the end of the day, on a legal issue, I think a wise old woman and a wise old man are going to reach the same conclusion. --Sandra Day O'Connor

Famous Last Words: ...and to the States, respectively, or to the people. US Constitution, Article 10. Because it's Bill Of Rights Day.

Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 10 - All who doubt our propaganda are traitors. --Arthur Ponsonby

..........Finally, robotic beings rule the world.........Flight of the Conchords …..Robots

There's a Robot Restaurant in Lawrence. It's called Dell Taco. / Nancy the nanobot had a hard time making friends – human or humanoid. She had a literal chip on her shoulder. / Ralph the Robot used to hide in the closet whenever it heard the can opener.

May you breathe out Peace

And breathe in Joy

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: 

Sam's ePistle

Famous First Words: Fugitive Slave Riot in Lancaster Co, Pa. --headline in the first New York Daily Times newspaper 9/18/1851 Extra Credit: Christiana Riot (aka incident aka resistance)

A Happy 317^th Birthday to Samuel Johnson! I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am. && He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. --Samuel Johnson

..........You get everything that you need in there..........Jimmie Rodgers …..Nobody Knows But Me

There are two ways of exerting one's strength; one is pushing down, the other is pulling up. --Booker T Washington

It is the beginning of another HOT day in Kansas. The air is muggy and the temperature is 85°F and it's not yet 10 am. But Weather.com is promising cooler weather for the weekend...a high in the 60s on Sunday. So we all have our fingers crossed. I've been to the doctor this morning. Not only did he pronounce me alive – that's important when you're in your 80s and when you see pictures of Mitch McConnell every day looking like he's not really alive even when they prop him up in a wheelchair. Stay cool!

Hope your weekend is filled with wit and wisdom, kind ladies and gentle men.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why do eggs come in flimsy cardboard boxes, yet batteries come in packets only a chainsaw can open? https://www.facebook.com/share/v/19gpNn3R2N/

A writer only begins a book. A reader finishes it. && Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel. --Samuel Johnson

..........We're gonna ride the surf.........Frankie Avalon …..Beach Party

Trivia Questions: Happy National Cheeseburger Day!

1. When and/or where was the first cheeseburger fried up?

2. When and/or where did the name “cheeseburger” become official?

3. In what exact position should cheese be in the cheeseburger?

4. How high did Jimmy Buffet's Cheeseburger In Paradise make on the charts?

5. How big was the biggest commercially available cheeseburger?

Big Hello: Ẹ ńlé – Yorba (spoken in west Africa) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a midterm vote today. --Wimpy

Image of the Week: My Brother, Fletcher Hendrix Bray (But I call him FH)

A Wandering Share of the Week: Today my brother would have turned 86 years old. I miss him so much. He turned me on to folk music, beat poetry, and Henry Gregor Felsen. He was also my source for information about our childhood and family history in general. Now I'm that source for my other brother and all the grand and great grandchildren - a task for which I feel very unqualified. FH was a physicist who worked for Boeing in Seattle for years. Of course that led to rocket scientist jokes. (I prefer working with rocket scientists. They always seem to understand when you have a few parts left over at the end.") He was in non-destructive testing; non-destructive was the term for “living humans are involved”. He once talked a co-worked into growing a beard and then the guy couldn't wear the helmet of the non-destructive suit; so he had to shave. Fletch lived in Phoenix and wore a T-shirt that read: There goes Arizona, trying to out-Florida Texas. At one of my high school reunions (maybe 55 years) one of the Staley girls said their older sister had told them to ask if Fletch was still good looking. I've always thought so.

What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure. && My congratulations to you, sir. Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good. --Samuel Johnson

..........There's no girl I know can beat 'er..........Frankie Avalon …..Dede Dinah

Moonbeam: The failure to dissect the cause of war leaves us open for the next installment. --Chris Hedges

Blasphemy of the Week: Jesus Christ is the most famous victim of identity theft. --James Talarico

Insult of the Week: I don't think his cornbread is done in the middle.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: “If you don't own a gun, you can't have an opinion on the Second Amendment.” Cool take! Now do uteruses.

I never desire to converse with a man who has written more than he has read. && Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble. --Samuel Johnson

..........A teenager ne'er do well..........Frankie Avalon …..Beauty School Dropout

1) Cheeseburger history is heavily debated. Pasadena, CA (1924) is the leading contender. Lionel Sternberger, a teenager working at his father's sandwich shop, The Rite Spot, experimentally dropped a slice of American cheese onto a sizzling burger patty. He called it a Cheese hamburger. Next is LA (1928) O'Dell's had a menu item cheeseburger smothered in chili. Also Louisville, KY (1934), then Denver, CO (1935) get honorable mention.

Almanac: It is Friday, September 18, 2026. The moon reaches its first quarter tonight and is in Sagittarius. Today is Air Force Birthday, Chiropractic Founders Day, Hug A Greeting Card Writer Day, International Equal Pay Day, National Ceiling Fan Day, National Cheeseburger Day, National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day, National Respect Day, Read An Ebook Day, and World Water Monitoring Day. Because it is the third Friday it is also Constitution Day, Pledge Across America, International Grenache Day, National Concussion Awareness Day, National POW/MIA Recognition Day, and National Tradesmen Day.

Among those born on this day were Samuel Johnson (1709), Adrien-Marie Legendre (1752), Booker T Washington (1895), Agnes De Mille (1905), Eddie "Rochester" Anderson (1905), Greta Garbo (1905), John J. Rhodes (1916), Rossano Brazzi (1916), Nikolai N. Rukavishnikov (1932), Jimmie Rodgers (1933), Roman Polanski (1933), Fred Willard (1933), Frankie Avalon (1940), Chris Hedges (1955), James Gandolfini (1961), Spike Spice (1966), Aisha Tyler (1970), Jada Pinkett Smith (1971), Lance Armstrong (1971), and James Marsden (1973).

On September 18^th the first piano in the US was documented (Boston, 1769), the cornerstone was laid for the Capitol Building (1810), the NY Times began publishing (1851), the Pacific Stock Exchange opened (1882), DD Palmer became the first chiropractor (1895), Britain tested its first twin-engine airplane (1911), CBS went on the air (Columbia, 1927), CBC went on the air (Canadian, 1942), Ralph Bunche became the UN mediator in Palestine (1948), Vanguard 3 was launched into orbit (1959), Get Smart premiered (1965), and the first black NL umpire umped (1972).

Night Sky, 9/18: Venus is dazzling in the west tonight. It's at its greatest brilliancy.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Bike rack workout

This Week: Saturday, September 19 – International Coastal Cleanup Day & National Dance Day & National Gymnastics Day

Sunday, September 20 – National Care For Kids Day & World Cleanup Day & Yom Kippur begins at sundown

Night Sky, 9/20: The core of the Milky Way is visible in the south and southwest near Sagittarius and Scorpius.

Monday, September 21 – International Day Of Peace

Tuesday, September 22 – Hobbit Day & Ice Cream Cone Day & World Rhino Day & Autumnal Equinox

Night Sky, 9/22: The sun crosses the celestial equator at 0:05 (UTC) which is 7:05 pm CDT

Wednesday, September 23 – Dogs In Politics Day & International Day of Sign Languages & Celebrate Bi-Sexuality Day

Thursday, September 24 – Punctuation Day & World Gorilla Day & World Maritime Day

Night Sky, 9/24: Sunrise: 7:04 am Sunset 7:25 pm 12 hours and 21 minutes of daylight Moonset: 1:23 am Moonrise: 12:50 pm

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust. && To keep your secret is wisdom, but to expect others to keep it is folly. --Samuel Johnson

..........the bestest pal you've ever hand..........Frankie Avalon …..After You've Gone

2) In 1935 a trademark for the name Cheeseburger was awarded to Louis Ballast of the Humpty Dumpty drive-in in Denver, CO.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Oh, no. I just found out I'm Anna's imaginary friend. I thought she was mine.

Moonbeam: Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater. --Roman Polanski

Fun Fact of the Week: If the vacuum of space didn't block sound from reaching us, the sun would be as loud as a jackhammer everywhere on Earth.

Video of the Week: Maxwell Smart and the Chief use the portable cone of silence. (1:24) https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2820809981502415

You can't hold someone down without staying down with them. --Booker T Washington

Allow children to be happy in their own way, for what better way will they find? && People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed. --Samuel Johnson

..........make my dreams come true........Frankie Avalon …..Venus In Blue Jeans

3) The default position for most cheese slices is squarely on top of the burger patty. At least, this was a widely held position until people on the internet lost their minds in 2017 when Google's cheeseburger emoji featured cheese being placed below the patty, spurring a brief but intense internet debate as to the cheese's rightful place in the burger hierarchy.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I just think it would be better for everyone if the people who make adhesive for maxi pads and the people who make adhesive for bookstore price stickers switched jobs. --Janel Comeau --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Weird Word of the Week: Syzygy: the alignment of three celestial objects (sun, moon, earth; a rare and beautiful astronomical event. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/syzygy

Dragons of the Week: Amanda Weston

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make a hot cap for your vegetable garden. Remove the label from a clean, empty two-liter plastic bottle of Coca-Cola, cut the bottle in half with a pair of scissors, and place the top half of the bottle over the seedlings. Take off the cap for ventilation and replace the cap at night to retain heat and moisture. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola3.html

This is one of the disadvantages of wine, it makes one mistake words for thoughts. && Read over your compositions, and wherever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out. --Samuel Johnson

...........How long does your momma think we'll wait, wait, wait.........Frankie Avalon …..Ginger Bread

4) Cheeseburger in Paradise made it to #32 on Billboard's 100 Top Hits chart in 1978.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Stop thinking my posts are about you. You're not the only freak show I know. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: SEMOCon 2026 (Southeast Missouri Convention, 18-20, Poplar Bluff, MO) ...Down the rabbit hole... https://www.semocon.com/

Whatever This Is of the Week: Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water. Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.

Spark of Joy of the Week: A woman who colors her gray hair is not “afraid of aging.” A woman who leaves it gray hasn't “given up.” Sometimes hair is just hair, and women are allowed to do whatever the hell they like with theirs. -A Women Soul

Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks. && God Himself does not propose to judge a man until his life is over. Why should you and I? --Samuel Johnson

..........No broken hearts for us..........Frankie Avalon …..Why

5) The largest commercially sold cheeseburger weighed 1,794 pounds and was made by Mallie's Sport Grill & Bar in Southgate, MI. It included 2000 lbs of raw meat and 300 lbs of cheese. It was 3 feet tall, 5 feet wide, and cost $7,799.

Protest Sign of the Week: End Billionaire Welfare

Better Protest Sign of the Week: NOT Red vs Blue BUT Billionaires vs You

Best Protest Sign of the Week: Trump's Administration Is A Crime Wave With A Press Office.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Get out there and be the reason someone increases their meds today. --Submitted by ScienceHumor

Today's Peace of History: September 18, 1961: Earl Bertrand Russell and Lady Edith Russell were released from prison after serving one week of their two-month sentences. They had been part of a Hiroshima Day vigil in Hyde Park, and were accused of inciting civil disobedience.

It is better to live rich than to die rich. && Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not. --Samuel Johnson

..........A rub dub, just relaxing in the tub..........Frankie Avalon …..Splish Splash

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, September 18, 2026: Sam's ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever. --Lance Armstrong

Cost of War: Pentagon Spending 9/17/26: $982,148,215,862 That's twenty billion, thirty-five million, Nine hundred and ninety-three thousand, three hundred and twenty-two dollars for war this week.

Pentagon Spending 9/10/26: $962,112,225,540

Pentagon Spending 9/3/26: $942,699,874,972

Peace is always beautiful. --Walt Whitman

Pentagon Spending in August 2026: $89,089,647,361

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Measles in the US: September: 3.294 confirmed cases (725 new cases)

August: 2566 (335 new cases)

July: 2231 (158 new cases)

June: 2073 (231 new cases)

May: 1,842 (94 new cases)

April: 1,748 (386 new cases)

March: 1,362

In the entire year 2010 there were only 63 confirmed cases. https://www.cdc.gov/measles/data-research/index.html

I shall allow no one to belittle my soul by making me hate them. --Booker T Washington

Famous Last Words: We're going to the police. --Final line of Roman Polanski's Knife In The Water

..........to go his bail.........JImmie Rodgers …..In The Jailhouse Now

Being in a ship is like being in jail, with the chance of being drowned. && No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money. --Samuel Johnson

May Peace take you places

And Joy walk you home

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: It's Equal Pay Day

Billowing ePistle

Famous First Words: Professor Tigwissel becoming alarmed... From Professor Tigwissel's Burglar Alarm --the first newspaper cartoon strip 9/11/1875 New York Daily Graphic

Reading This ePistle will not solve your problems, but neither will cleaning your oven.

It's Cloud Appreciation Day! Oh, no, the little cloud just ran away to join the Cirrus. ^@@ I used to own a small plane that I used to fly around for fun. But I had to get rid of it. All those damned computer clouds were tearing it up.

..........Dropping rain from on high.........Jean Warren …..When I See Clouds In The Sky (tune: My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)

I think the first duty of society is justice. --Alexander Hamilton

It is a foggy Friday morning. It has been a long time since we've had fog and a while since we've had a temperature of 65°F. An aging Puck declined to go out it in (perhaps he's been watching too many horror movies) and instead peed in the kitchen in front of me while I was fixing his breakfast. Sigh! The wildlife on the back patio, however, is delighted with cooler weather and with nearly soggy sunflower seeds. The sky is hidden above the fog. There is no wind and only the thinnest ends of willow branches are moving at all. I do not hear birdsong. The colors are muted by humidity giving an impressionist quality to the view from the window. I appreciate the coolness, and the beauty as I sip my coffee and listen to Puck sighing under my desk. And now I get to write to you. Another big sigh!

Hope your weekend floats like a cloud, most patient readers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The last time this country experienced this level of civil unrest, the music was a whole lot better. Weaponization of Ignorance

Storm clouds wear thnderwear under their raincoats. ^@@ Does heaven have to supply IT people since they invented cloud storage for computers. --St Peter

..........And I started to dream..........The Rollings Stones …..Get Off Of My Cloud

Trivia Questions: On this day in 1919 the US invaded Honduras.

1. What was the war called? Hint: Not Tropical Storm.

2. What was the US's excuse for invading Honduras?

3. What did the US do?

4. What was the result?

5. What do you know about the Banana Wars?

Big Hello: Mwngz ni – Yongbei Zhuang (China) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I got a job at Comcast and completed training so I could fix my own cable because it was faster than being on hold with customer service. --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Philosophy Punch Line of the Week: Heidegger, Girard, Nietzsche. Like so many others in tech, I draw inspiration from completely misunderstanding those authors. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Whatever This Is of the Week: At this point MAGA is just Stockholm Syndrome for people who don't know where Stockholm is. --sashasrbulj --Submitted by gr of oh

When clouds are sick do they feel, “over the weather”? ^@@ Clara cloud broke up with her boyfriend because he kept bragging that he was made up of Linux servers.

..........It's clouds' illusions I recall.........Joni Mitchell …..Both Sides Now

Humans are the measures of all things. --Protagoras

Moonbeam: The true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate. --O Henry

Blasphemy of the Week: The patron saint of copying someone on email is St Francis of a cc. --Submitted by Blasphemy Memes

Extra Blasphemy of the Week: Town Priest: The witches that control the woods are evil. Girl: What do they doi? Town Priest: They aren't heteronormative or patriarchal, do lots of drugs, and have sex with each other. Girl: OMG what specific parts of the woods are they in, so I can avoid them extra hard? --Submitted by MMS

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you're wondering how bad things REALLY are: Clorox announced a recall because some of their cleaning products are contaminated with highly infectious bacteria...--Submitted by 98%

There was once a cloud that became queen. She rained for thirty years. ^@@ The CIA keeps sending drones with microphones into the clouds above the antifa offices.

..........But I'll fly a little higher..........Rob Sobiech …..Clouds

Humans are featherless bipeds. --Plato

1) The military intervention occurred during the First Honduran Civil War which was called the Revolution of '19. This war was in turn part of a broader conflict known as the Banana Wars.

Almanac: It is the 254^th day of the year, Friday, September 11. The moon is new today and is in Virgo. Today is Hug Your Boss Day, Libraries Remember Day, National Dog Walker Appreciation Day, and Remember Freedom Day. Because it is the second Friday it is Cloud Appreciation Day.

Among those born on this day were O Henry (1862), D H Lawrence (1885), Bear Bryant (1913), Ferdinand Marcos (1917), Tom Landry (1924), Earl Holliman (1928), Brian DePalma (1940), Paul Riser (1943), Leo Kottke (1945), Amy Madigan (1950), and Harry Connick Jr (1967).

On September eleventh, Alexander Hamilton was appointed Secretary of the Treasurer (1789). Jenny Lind gave her first US concert (1850). The first newspaper cartoon strip was published (1875). The Bronx Gas & Electric Company opened (1893). The US invaded Honduras (1919). Britain took over the rule of Palestine (1922). Boulder Dam (now known as Hoover Dam) was dedicated (1936).

Night Sky, 9/11: The moon is new today at 3:26 am. That's 0% illumination.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Back to School: One bought a grown up hat.

One dyed his hair purple.

This Week: Saturday, September 12 - National Day of Encouragement & National Hug and High Five Day & Prairie Day

Sunday, August 13 – Bald Is Beautiful Day & Kids Take Over The Kitchen Day & Scooby-Doo Day

Night Sky, 9/13: Mars & Jupiter rise in the east in the morning. Saturn shines all through the night.

Monday, August 14 – Live Creative Day & National Boss/Employee Exchange Day & National Sober Day

Tuesday, August 15 – Greenpeace Day & National Voter Registration Day & National Day of the Cowgirl

Night Sky, 9/15: Cygnus the Swan and Lyra the lyre aka the eagle are the dominant constellations in September.

Wednesday, August 16 – National Tattoo Story Day & Stay Away From Seattle Day & Trail of Tears Commemoration Day

Thursday, August 17 – Citizenship Day & Constitution Day & Time's Up Day

Night Sky, 9/17: Sunrise: 6:58 AM Sunset: 7:37 pm 12 hours and 56 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 7:30 am Moonset: 7:45 pm.

I was gonna tell a cloud joke, but it evaporated. ^@@ I linked my new phone to the cloud, now all I get is mist calls.

..........Head high up in the clouds..........Miley Cyrus …..Midnight Sky

Humans are rational animals. --Aristotle

2) Francisco Bertrand, president of Honduras, attempted to block open presidential succession prompting revolt. Oh, no! Possible regional instability.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Men should think twice before making widowhood women's only path to power. --Gloria Steinem

Moonbeam: Inject a few raisins of conversation into the tasteless dough of existence. --O Henry

Fun Facts of the Week: Today is the anniversary of one of a major name change, damn. In 1930 the newly opened dam was completed and named Hoover after the sitting president, Herbert Hoover. 1933: After Hoover lost the election to FDR, the Secretary of the Interior, Harold Ickes, began calling it Boulder Dam which had been the working title of the project. 1947: Harry Truman signed the legislative act returning Hoover's name to the dam.

Video of the Week: Amy Madigan: He Made A Woman Out Of Me (with Ry Cooder on guitar) from the movie Crossroads. (4:14)

The sacred rights of mankind are not to be rummaged for among old parchments or musty records, They are written, as with a sunbeam, in the whole volume of human nature, by the hand of the divinity itself; and can never be erased or obscured by mortal power. --Alexander Hamilton

On their days off, tornado clouds play tournament Twister. ^@@ The reason it took so long for computers to develop cloud storage was that the Giant -one that Jack climbed the beanstalk and killed- ran the cloud storage business as a monopoly.

..........Take less shape and disappear.........Lousine …..Just A Cloud

Humans are f*cking stupid. --Nietzsche

3) To protect US corporate interests (Cuyamel Fruit and Standard Fruit), the US intervened diplomatically and militarily in Honduras, warning that intervention would ensue. ~~Cuyamel Fruit was bought out by United Fruit in 1929. Standard Fruit is now part of Dole but I didn't get a date.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If someone from ziplock could contact literally anyone in the cereal business, that would be great! https://www.facebook.com/groups/226096020786795/

Weird Word of the Week: Callipygian – having beautifully shaped buttocks. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/callipygian

Dragon of the Week: Ninereeds (Draco Nobilis) and Twoflower --Terry Pratchet's The Colour of Magic ~~That may be Rinsewind behind Twoflower, I'm not sure.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Bake a moist ham. Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the coke for a sumptuous brown gravy. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola3.html

Do you figure clouds look down on us and think, “Wow, that one is shaped like a dumbass”? @@ When they told Elon to put his computer files in the cloud, he bought a rocketship.

...........For these ghosts that I chase..........Panic At The Disco …..King Of The Clouds

4) President Bertrand resigned. US troops landed to “protect American lives” even though it was implied that if he resigned they would not invade. The diplomats helped install an interim government (apparently not the one that was actually elected in first place).

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Keith Richards and Willie Nelson outliving Dolly Parton and Richard Simmons really has me questioning everything D.A.R.E. taught me.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Rose City Comic Con (11-13, Portland, OR) Get Your Geek On... https://rosecitycomiccon.com/

Ego Alert of the Week: Why is it that I get this little ego boost, a tiny spark of joy, when I've shared a meme before some hotshot group posts it? Am I suddenly the center of some tiny universe.? I shared it, I didn't create it. Nietzsche was right.

Spark of Joy of the Week: 3 Wishes: 1) I want the wisdom of Athena. 2) I want the strength of an Amazon. 3) I want the audacity of a mediocre Republican man. --rvc of mo

Since her brother said rain was made by clouds' runny noses, my 7 year old refuses to go outside when it rains even with a raincoat, hat, and umbrella. ^@@ Damn, that's no cloud it's just somebody's computer.

..........You may not see the silver linin'...........Brad Paisley …..Behind The Clouds

5) The Banana Wars were a series of US military interventions, occupations, and police actions in Central America from 1898 to 1934.The main goal was to protect American commercial and economic interest in Latin American Designed to protect United Fruit and Standard Fruit. ~~This just sounds horribly like NOT HISTORY.

Protest Sign of the Week: GOD IS LOVE

Second Protest Sign of the Week: Believe Your Eyes Not Their Lies

Quote of the Week: The underlying purpose of AI is to allow wealth to access skill while removing from the skilled the ability to access wealth. --unknown

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you're not up to crushing it today, try just crinkling it.

Today's Peace of History: September 11, 1906: Mohandas Gandhi, a young Indian lawyer, began a nonviolent resistance campaign in Johannesburg, South Africa, demanding rights and respect for those of Asian descent. It was the birth of his concept of political progress through nonviolent resistance known as Satyagraha, or truth-force.

Clouds are fluffy, not fat. Clouds can get skinny just by crying. Can you? ^@@ The reason it took so long to develop IT cloud stoarge was the time it took for enough software and hardware engineers to die and make it to heaven.

..........oh-oh-oh-oh..........One Direction ….Clouds

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, September 11, 2026: Billowing ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Californians are a race of people; they are not merely inhabitants of a State. --O Henry

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending 9/10/26: $962,112,225,540

Pentagon Spending 9/3/26: $942,699,874,972

That's nineteen billion, four hundred and twelve million, three hundred and fifty thousand, five hundred and sixty-eight dollars this week. That could double the annual amount of federal K-12 elementary education grants for schools in low income districts.

Without justice, and love, peace will always be the great illusion. --Helder Camara

Pentagon Spending in August 2026: $89,089,647,361

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

In politics, as in religion, it is equally absurd to aim at making proselytes by fire and sword. Heresies in either can rarely be cured by persecution. --Alexander Hamilton

Famous Last Words: ...a little droopingly, but with a hopeful heart. --D H Lawrence Lady Chatterly's Lover

..........I'm doing...(fine).........The Temptations …..Cloud Nine

Fog is just a cloud giving you a hug. ^@@ Rainbows are really just prisms sucking data out of cloud storage.

May you be showered by Peace

And flooded by Joy

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: