Digested ePistle

Famous First Words: Sì: corre voce che l’Etiope --Verdi Aida (Yes, it is rumored that the Ethiopian...)

The salamander went to Hollywood to make newt movies. == As part of NYC's anti-litter campaign veterinarians began prescribing birth-control pills for dogs. ~~Today's jokes are from the 100 best Readers Digest jokes.

..........I'm going to get some life back into my life.........Barbra Streisand …..Before the Parade Passes By

Establish democracy at home, based on human rights as superior to property rights. — Jeannette Rankin

It is a cool (51°F) Friday morning. There is no cloud in the sky to hide the sun or suggest less than full light and warmth. An unfamiliar bird song (ee^et, ee^et) wafts through the air spreading cheer and good morning greetings. The breeze is a little strong (10 mph) from the north which is causing the chill and making the willow branches dance a morning flamenco; it does not sync with the ee^et, ee^et. Last night's rain storm is in evidence everywhere and damp soil looks rich and has that sweet aroma with which it enriches the early morning air. Squirrels and birds and rabbits all come to eat a few sunflower seeds for breakfast before scampering off to their daily chores. I retreat inside before the whole backyard breaks into a Disney cartoon's show-stopping, musical number. Deep breath. Now I get to sip my morning breakfast blend (no decaf today) and write to you. To quote an old Zen joke: mere existence is such a gas.

Hope your weekend is whatever you want it to be, planetmates.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: She's so indigenous even her farts sound like bison calls. --Submitted by FNOG

According to the police reports the Devil was arrested for possession. == She was so rich that when she tickled her baby she said, “Gucci, Gucci, Goo”.

..........Traveling in a world of our creation.........Barbra Streisand …..Pure Imagination

Trivia Questions: It's National Hairball Awareness Day

1. What is the scientific name for a hairball?

2. What animals beside cats get hairballs?

3. Hairballs are seasonal. Which season sees increased hairball activity?

4. What is considered a “normal” number of hairballs annually for cats?

5. Is there anything you can do to help?

Big Hello: Salam – Turkmen https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you're bored you can simply close your eyes and rotate a cow in your mind. It's free and the cops can't stop you. --Submitted by Club42

Image of the Week: Me and Bloody Mary

Question of the Week: If a smurf holds its breath, what color does it turn? https://www.happierhuman.com/funny-philosophical-questions-wa2/

Angie, my pet anteater never gets sick. I think it's because of anty-bodies. == It only takes one gorilla to change a light bulb; but it takes a whole lot of light bulbs.

..........What a surprise, what a cliché.........Barbra Streisand …..Send In The Clowns

Moonbeam: I doubt whether any girl would be satisfied with her lover's mind if she knew the whole of it. --Anthony Trollope

Blasphemy of the Week: When the church aligns itself with Power, it compromises its prophetic role. -–https://www.facebook.com/nakedpastor

Coffee Joke of the Week: What's fat, slimy, and drinks lots of coffee? Java the Hut

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Physics: the rules of the game. Quantum physics: cheat codes. --Submitted by Club42

What do you give to the man who has everything? Penicillin. == I'm very good about saving time. I have a safe deposit box full of watches.

..........Even Jake, the plumber, he's the man I adore, he had the nerve to tell me he's been married before.........Barbra Streisand …..Second Hand Rose

1) Hairballs are trichobezoars and are gross by any name. They are tubular (not spherical), slimy, and often 1-5 inches long.

Almanac: It is Friday, 4/24/26. The moon enters its first quarter today in Leo. Today is National Historic Marker Day, National Teach Your Children to Save Day, Undiagnosed Children's Awareness Day, World Day for Animals in Laboratories, and World Meningitis Day. Because it is the last Friday, it is also Hairball Awareness Day and Arbor Day.

Among those born on this day were San Vicente de Paul (1576), John Graunt (1620), Robert Bailey Thomas (1766), Angela Burdett-Coutts (1814), Anthony Trollope (1815), Jeltje de Bosch Kemper (1836), Willem De Kooning (1904), Robert Penn Warren (1905), Shirley MacLaine (1934), Jill Ireland (1936), Barbra Streisand (1942), Richard Daley (1942), and Yvonne D Cagle (1959).

On April twenty-fourth The Boston Newsletter published the first newspaper ad (1704), the Russia/Prussia peace treaty was signed (1762), the Library of Congress was established with a $5,000 allocation (1800), the soda fountain was patented (1833), streetcar ride-in protests began in Richmond, VA (1867), Aida premiered (1871), the National Medical Association of Black Physicians was organized (1884), the Irish Easter rebellion began (1916), and the fathometer was patented (1928).

Night Sky, 4/24: On the evenings of April 24 and 25, the waxing gibbous moon will be near Regulus, the brightest star in Leo the Lion. Regulus is the bright dot at the bottom of a backward question-mark pattern of stars known as the Sickle.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The whole family with palm trees. Toto, I have a feeling they're not in Washington.

Notice of the Week: Even if you start a nuclear war, we will crawl out of the ashes as seven-legged mutants demanding the release of the Epstein Files. https://www.facebook.com/TheDemocraticCoalition

This Week: Saturday, April 25 – Bob Wills Day & Celebrate Trails Day & DNA Day & Eeyore's Birthday

Sunday, April 26 – Alien Day & Lesbian Visibility Day & National Help A Horse Day & World Pilot's Day

Night Sky, 4/26: The waxing illuminated moon shines in front of Leo while Venus and Jupiter are in the west. Venus will align in altitude with Sirius and you can track its motion against Taurus.

Monday, April 27 – National Little Pampered Dog Day & Morse Code Day & World Tapir Day

Night Sky, 4/27: Comet C/2026 R3 makes its closest approach to Earth. Forbes Comet Tracker

Tuesday, April 28 – Save the Frogs Day & School Bus Driver Appreciation Day & Workers Memorial Day

Wednesday, April 29 – Secretary's Day & International Dance Day & “Peace” Rose Day

Night Sky, 4/29: Sunrise: 6:21 am Sunset: 8:08 pm (13 Hours and 47 minutes of daylight) Moonrise 6:34 pm Moonset: 5:08 am

Thursday, April 30 – Beltane & Adopt A Shelter Pet Day & National Golf Day & Walpurgis Night

I shopped at thrift stores before Macklemore made it cool. I'm not a hipster, I'm just poor. == So, were alley cats bred to bowl?

..........Misty watercolor memories.........Barbra Streisand …..The Way We Were

2) Hairballs are formed by swallowed fur. It is common in cats but also affects rabbits, cows, and humans.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've heard that bats are now using the term Megashit crazy. --Stephen Bellitz

Moonbeam: Make it a practice to judge persons and things in the most favorable light at all times and under all circumstances. --Vincent de Paul

Fun Fact of the Week: It is National Historical Marker Day. My picture is on an historical marker at around 1330 Louisiana Street, Lawrence, KS 66044. It is a marker for the February Sisters occupation of what was then a large house where the East Asian Studies department held offices and classrooms. The house is gone and a scholarship hall has been built there. If you're ever in the neighborhood, stop by. Kirsten's picture is on there too.

Audio of the Week: Barbra did a great job playing Fanny Brice in Funny Girl. Here is Fanny Brice herself in 1921 singing Second Hand Rose. (3:18)

Majority rule rests on numbers; democracy rests on the well-grounded assumption that society is neither a collection of units nor an organism but a network of human relations. — Mary Parker Follett

When my mother married again I used to call her husband, Fred, my faux pas. == Do penguins vote at the South Poll?

..........Strut down the street and have your picture took.........Barbra Streisand …..Put On Your Sunday Clothes

3) Hairballs are seasonal. Flowers in bloom, chirping birds, retching cats – they're all signs of spring. Hairballs are especially common as cats shed their winter coats.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The head of the FBI, the head of the Pentagon, and the DC US Attorney walk into a bar, apparently, every single day. --Submitted by USDS

Weird Word of the Week: Eunoia: Beautiful thinking or a well-disposed mind. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/eunoia

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent the drain in a kitchen sink from getting clogged. Once a week pour a bottle of Coca-Cola down the kitchen drain, and let it sit overnight to dissolve grease build=up and prevent clogs. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola2.html

Were the Dark Ages caused by smog? == I'll tell you what, hailing taxis is a lot worse than raining cats and dogs.

...........A girl ought to have a sense of humor.........Barbra Streisand …..Funny Girl

4) The cat has developed a digestive tract that can handle normal amounts of fur without a problem. Even long-haired cats should not develop more than one or two hairballs a year.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I would have been sadder about Charlie Kirk's death if I knew it was gonna lead to me having to hear from Erika Kirk every day of my life. --@crunchyrugger

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Stellar Fest 2026 (24-26, Duluth, GA) Atlanta's Ultimate Event for Sci-Fi Enthusiasts! https://stellarfest.org/

Escape Room of the Week: I am put in a giant bookstore. Everything is 50% off and there is an open bar. The exits are wide open and are clearly marked. I have one hour to get out. --Submitted by UUHS

Spark of Joy of the Week: Happy National Historical Marker Day! Not all markers need to be taken seriously: Mill Pond ..Site of the sawmill built by John Selee in the 18^th century and continued by his son, Nathan, a wizard who purportedly used satanic imps to run the mill at night. (Berkshire County, MA) Nationwide there are markers to at least 14 ghosts, two witches, and one vampire. --NPR

I childproofed my house, but they still got in. == When I asked Siri why I'm still single, it activated the front-facing camera.

..........Where will I be tomorrow.........Barbra Streisand …..What Kind Of Fool

5) There are a number of hairball remedies out there. Many hairball-fighting cat treats contain flavored indigestible mineral oil or petroleum jelly, which keeps everything lubricated. Some cat owners skip the fancy stuff and just put Vaseline on their kitty's nose, so he or she will lick it off. Switching to high-fiber cat food is also helpful. You can do it yourself by feeding your cat canned pumpkin.

Protest Sign of the Week: We Literally Started A Country To Get Away From This Sh*t --Lawrence, KS 4/09/26

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Trump – Listen To The Pope! He Has Friends In High Places. --Lawrence, KS 4/19/26

Best Protest Sign of the Week: Keep Going! You'e Running Better Than The Government. ~~Held by a spectator at the Boston Marathon

Quote of the Week: It is not about bathrooms...as it was never about water fountains. --George Takei

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Where are we going today, Mr Peabody? Well, Sherman, today we're going back to 1970 to find out exactly what strain of weed Douglas Adams was smoking when he wrote The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. --Submitted by Club42

Today's Peace of History: April 24, 1971: 500,000 demonstrated against the Vietnam War in Washington, D.C. It was the largest-ever demonstration opposing the US war; 150,000 marched at a simultaneous rally in San Francisco.

The fastest way to a man's heart may be through his stomach; but the surest way is through the rib cage. == Teddy termite walked into a bar and asked, “Is the bar tender here?”

..........Are the luckiest people in the world.........Barbra Streisand …..People

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, April 24, 2026: Digested ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Success is the necessary misfortune of life, but it is only to the very unfortunate that it comes early. --Anthony Trollope

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 4/23/26: $571,393,928,970

Pentagon Spending as of 4/16/26 : $551,428,238,536

Pentagon Spending as of 4/09/26: $532,032,375,984

Pentagon Spending as of 4/01/26: $509,374,006,944

So far this month we have spent $62,019,922,026 which comes to 2 billion, 696 million, 922 thousand, 518 dollars and 95 cents A DAY on killing people and destroying property. https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/

How Many Measles Cases Are There in the US: As of April 16, 2026 there are 1,748 confirmed measles cases. On March 14^th there were 1,362 confirmed cases. https://www.cdc.gov/measles/data-research/index.html ~~In the year 2010 there 63 confirmed cases … all year.

We who are members of the Communist Party repudiate the exclusive identification of democracy with capitalism. We declare that democracy can be widened, take on new aspects, become truly a rule of the people, only when it is extended to the economic life of the people. — Elizabeth Gurley Flynn

Famous Last Words: ...Paul Newman and a ride home. --S E Hinton Final line of The Outsiders which was published 4/24/1967

..........So raise your little hand and whisper.........Barbra Streisand …..So Long Dearie

My diagnosis of colorblindness really came out of the orange. == I entered ten puns in a pun contest to see which one would win. No pun in 10 did.

May Peace sing your lullaby

And Joy play your wake up call

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Rain Soaked ePistle

Famous First Words: I had a farm in Africa... Isak Dinesen aka Karen Blixen. Out Of Africa

The first thing I learned on this trip is that the new airports are not designed for the convenience of travelers but for the convenience of the people who are dropping them off or picking them up. And let's admit it; those are the persons that catch our empathy in any story that involves taking someone to the airport. It also respects the slight sadness of everyone who is not flying somewhere neat to do fun things. (People who travel for work rarely have people drop them off. It is literally their job to get to the airport.) There's a couple of lanes for pulling in, unloading suitcases. and moving on. But picking someone up has only one lane. I'm not sure what that implies. There were only a few people ahead of me in the TSA line, but I was quite aways from the station because of a queuing barrier that snaked around and around and around. I passed the TSA test. I didn't see anywhere to check my bag so I took it with me to my gate. And waited. The flight itself was a little bumpy and cloudy. Flying into Seattle it was raining sideways by the window.

Seattle: where the sun is shy and the clouds are clingy.

..........'Scuse me while I kiss the sky..........Jimi Hendrix …..Purple Haze

Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see farther. --J P Morgan

It is a beautiful Friday morning. 17 mph winds are whipping tree branches and blades of grass around in a spring madness dance and the 71°F makes the heart glad. Puck is still sleeping and the household is just now beginning its day. The world smells of spring and dampness, of foliage and growth. The sky is clear and blue and welcoming. I am still smiling about my wonderful visit to Seattle, the conversations, the children (grown and not), and the joy of long conversations about writing and rain and life. Hope you enjoy the retelling of it.

I hope your weekend is filled with natural wonders, dear friends and relations.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Bike Merge With Traffic --A traffic sign in Seattle where bikers merge with cars. Maybe this is only funny walking.

My Favorite Local Story of the Trip: Early in the 21^st century the Suquamish tribe of Kitsap County, WA was experiencing a housing shortage. So when the 50 year lease of their Suquamish Shores property expired in 2018 the tribe did not renew the lease. And they gained back 36 acres of their land. Several homes sit on that land; the cost in the neighborhood of a million dollars a piece. https://suquamish.nsn.us/return-of-the-shores/

Traveling With Phones: Not only did my phone clock update itself as we passed into new time zones, it put up a little note that told me the time at “home”. It took the cyberworld less than 24 hours to start flooding my facebook with ads for Bremerton businesses. The craziest was I plugged in my charger on my bedside stand because there wasn't a clock. But it kept notifying me that I had lost my internet and 10 second later notifying me that my internet was restored. It was like I had brought a pet along and it knew this wasn't home and it wasn't sure it was safe. Once when I picked the beeping thing up it had a headline about Improving one's sleep by setting rigid bedtimes. And I thought I could improve my sleep by throwing this phone against the wall. Kirsten taught me about bedtime the next day so that stopped. Asking your phone for something “near me” is tricky in the sound. Since the phone measures as the crow flies, asking what's near me is tricky. So there may be a coffee shop only a quarter of a mile away but travel time is an hour because you have to take a ferry.

Kirsten once worked with native tribes. She said every meeting started with a brief note about who originally owned the land where the meeting was taking place and a moment was taken for everyone present to appreciate that fact.

..........I'm so warm and calm inside.........Nirvana …..You Know, You're Right

Trivia Questions: It is Blah, Blah, Blah Day...a day to stop procrastinating.

1. How long did it take De Vinci to finish the Mona Lisa?

2. When did Frank Lloyd Wright design the Fallingwater House?

3. How did Victor Hugo solve his tendency to procrastinate writing?

4. What was the term used to describe Bill Clinton's procrastinations?

5. What did Douglas Adams famously have to say about deadlines?

Big Hello: Merhaba – Turkish https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Light from the sun has to travel 93 million miles to reach the Earth, but none of it goes through the Strait of Hormuz. --Bill McKibben, on the reliability of solar energy

Image of the Week: Wooden Jayhawk statue in Kirsten's upstairs window.

Let's start with a few overlooked facts about Seattle. If you ride the Big Ferry (carries cars as well as foot passengers) from Bremerton to Seattle it is free. But when you take the Big Ferry from Seattle back to Bremerton you have to pay. By the way, cars always have to pay. Tacoma has a toll bridge into the city but the bridge leaving the city is free. Seattle is a very cosmopolitan city where you can hear several different languages as you walk down the street. Like everything else around the sound it is built on a mountain (They may call it a hill. But, they have real mountains nearby while I come from Kansas.) Seattle has stop lights just for bicycles and a list of musicians and bands they have spawned that stretches across the state.

Washington: where the state bird is actually a cloud.

..........Thoughts arrive like butterflies.........Pearl Jam …..Even Flow

Moonbeam: Friendship! Mysterious cement of the soul, sweet'ner of life, and solder of society. --Robert Blair

Blasphemy of the Week: It is easier for a removable bra cup to be inserted through the tiny hole and placed in the correct shape than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. --Natalie --Submitted by MMS

Coffee Joke of the Week: There is a little warning at the bottom of the label on my coffee can. It says: Warning: Sudden Caffeine Happiness May Occur.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I wish Democrats were half as socialist as the right-wing pundits claim. --blubthetux

I had only been on 2 ferries before Seattle. As an adult I rode the Staten Island Ferry and I ferried across the Mississippi when I was a little kid. It started when we drove onto a concrete floor. I was pretty small, but I knew concrete didn't float. And when my mother lifted me up so I could see the paddle wheel from above I freaked out. Bremerton to Seattle has the Big Ferry and the Fast Ferry. The FF takes about half an hour and is for foot traffic only. It costs both ways all the time. It is commuter transportation and does run weekends during the winter. I don't know how much it costs. Fares are mostly done on cards but you can pay cash. The BF takes about an hour and so doesn't run as often. It has 2 decks of cars and a big enclosed area for foot passengers. There are tables in the passenger area that have jigsaw puzzles on them. We got 2 pieces of the 500 in our puzzle before our attention got grabbed by something else.

Come for the coffee, stay because it's still raining.

..........Won't you come and save me..........Alice In Chains …..Man In The Box

1) It took Leonardo da Vinci 16 years to paint the Mona Lisa due to “distractions”.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 17, 2026. The moon is new today and is in Aries. Today is Bat Appreciation Day, Blah! Blah! Blah! Day, Ellis Island Family History Day, Ford Mustang Day, Herbalist Day, National Crawfish Day, and Nothing Like a Dame Day,

Among those born on this day were Henry Vaughan (1622), Frederik I (Sweden, 1676), Robert Blair (1699), Samuel Chase (1741), Ann Sheppard Mounsey (1811), J.P. Morgan (1837), Isabel Barrows (1845), Isak Dinesen (Karen Blixen-Finecke, 1885), Nikita S. Khrushchev (1894), Senor Wences (1896), Thornton Wilder (1897), William Holden (Franklin Beedle, JR, 1918), Lloyd Biggle, Jr (1923), Daffy Duck, Elmer J. Fudd, & Petunia Pig (1937), John Oates (1949), and Olivia Hussey (1951).

On April seventeenth Martin Luther was excommunicated (1521), Thomas More was confined in the London Tower (1534), Gallaudet was founded as the first US school for the deaf (1817), there was a bread revolt in Savannah, GA (1864), Haile Selassie ended slavery in Ethiopia (1932), the US Office of Price Administration was established to handle rationing (1941), a World Fair opened in Brussels (1958), the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC) was founded (1960), 1,400 Cuban exiles landed in the Bay of Pigs (1961), Sirhan Sirhan was convicted of assassinating Robert Kennedy (1969), Bernadette Devlin was elected to the British House of Commons (1969), Apollo 13 made it back to earth safely (1970), Solidarity was granted legal status in Poland (1989), and South Carolina declared James Brown the state's "Godfather of Soul" (2002).

Night Sky, 4/17: Two bright stars, Arcturus and Spica, anchor the eastern sky after sunset while Venus and Jupiter shine in the west. The official new moon occurs at 11:52 UTC (6:52 am CDT) Comet C/2025 R3 (PANSTARRS) will be a prime object for viewing. It is expected to reach high visibility, potentially to the naked eye or easily with binoculars, in the predawn eastern sky.

Family Picture of the Week: The siblings this week are mom with Kirsten and Chris.

This Week: Saturday, April 18 – Auctioneers Day & Pinata Day & World Circus Day

Sunday, April 19 – Bicycle Day & Dictionary Day & National Hanging Out Day & National Garlic Day

Night Sky, 4/19: An hour after sunset, brilliant Venus and the crescent moon are in the west-northwest near the Pleiades star cluster.

Monday, April 20 – National Weed Day & Right To Read Day & Boston Marathon Day

Tuesday, April 21 – Bulldogs Are Beautiful Day & Kindergarten Day & National Library Day & National Yellow Bat Day

Wednesday, April 22 – Earth Day & Beagle Day & National Bookmobile Day

Night Sky, 4/22: Sunrise: 6:35 am Sunset: 8:05 pm (13 hours and 30 minutes of daylight) Moonrise: 1:35 am Moonset: 10:43 am

Thursday, April 23 – Celebrate Teen Literature Day & English Language Day & Spanish Language Day

I was in Washington for 6 days and 3 of them were sunny and warm. This is, I think, a miracle; it may even be a record. I understand there's a permanent Light Drizzle Advisory for the whole sound. . Sometimes those wonderful cups of coffee need little umbrellas. Often the mountains including Rainer (known by natives as Mt Tahoma or Mt Tacoma) are hidden by clouds. When you look up and see Rainer, you say The Mountain is out. Souvenir shops sell little umbrellas as Seattle charms for your charm bracelet. I have one hanging off my computer. Forward Flash: When the plane took off to bring me home it was very cloudy so everything disappeared outside the window as we rose. But when we came out above into the sun, there was the tip of the mountain sticking up above the cloud bank, only the tip; so it was not so majestic and dominating as playful and equal with the clouds. The only thing I really ever loved about mountains was their love affair with clouds.

Pike Place Market where fish fly higher than your rent.

..........The gentle, sweet singin' of leaves in the wind........Heart …..Crazy On You

2) Frank Lloyd Wright designed the Fallingwater house in just two hours; specifically the two hours right before his client was expected.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Things I thought I would have as an adult: A thriving career, An impressive retirement account, A new car. What I actually have as an adult: A favorite pan, Back pain, A cabinet full of mismatched Tupperware lids. https://www.facebook.com/AmusingImagesandText

Moonbeam: Deefeecult for you, easy for me. … S'alright --Senor Wences

Fun Photo of the Week: The mountain was out.

Not A Video of the Week: In Seattle we visited the Jackson Street Workers Mural which is 72 panels of labor history. The pictures I took are at https://workersmural.blogspot.com/ Or http://www.wslcmural.org/walking-tour/ for way more information

No problem can be solved until it is reduced to some simple form. The changing of a vague difficulty into a specific, concrete form is a very essential element in thinking. --J P Morgan

In Seattle your umbrella has a better social life than you do.

On Saturday (4/4) Sakura Con 2026 was held at the Seattle Convention Center. When Chris (Topher to those who knew when he was young) and Kirsten and her daughter, Aleena, and her grandson, Ollie, (all of us wearing perfectly ordinary clothes) took the Big Ferry, it was filled with anime personalities and general anime looking costumed folks. The snippets of conversation were quite entertaining: Power swords and life quests...what were, I hope, descriptions of battles...and gossip about the anime characters or the people who dressed like them; I couldn't tell which. It was all ramen and plot twists.

..........were you born to resist..........Foo Fighters …..Best of You

3) Victor Hugo famously had his servant take all his clothes to prevent him from leaving the house so he had nothing to do but write.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Spreading false rumors about the president dying/sick is not something to joke about, btw; like what if he's actually okay and I just wasted a bottle of champagne. --@dearfranchaelas --Submitted by gd of somewhere out west

Weird Word of the Week: Adoxography: Elegant writing on a trivial or unimportant subject. https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/adoxography ~~Doesn't this, in fact, perfectly describe the ePistle?

Dragon of the Week: Year of the Dragon –Seattle Sculpture Park Chinese Zodiac Signs

Wacky Uses for Common Products: There are a lot of removing rust suggestions here and I'm just going to list the various things from which Coca-Cola can remove rust and/or its strains. A sink, chrome bumper, wrought iron, ice skate blades, and tools. Next week we'll go back to things besides things coke can kill besides rust. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola4.html

Seattle is, of course, a great place to eat seafood. There may be an actual law that requires all restaurants to serve fish and chips. For my birthday I had cioppino, a stew with clams, mussels, shrimp, and white fish in a tomato-fennel broth. It was wonderful. The restaurant was the Yacht Club right on the sound. I watched the tide go out while I ate. Apparently my children remember me drinking bloody Marys in their youth and encouraged me to have one. ...where to begin...It must have been a quart. It had a strip of bacon in it and the little skewer had an olive, a wedge of lime, a pepperoncini and a spiced green bean. I did not quite finish it but I really enjoyed it. I may make it a new tradition to have a bloody mary on my birthday.

Flirting in Seattle requires 2 umbrellas and mutual sarcasm.

...........'Cause you're thinking all the time.........Death Cab For Cutie …..You Are A Tourist

4) Bill Clinton was known for doing things on “Clinton Standard Time”.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Don't let anyone drive you crazy. You're close enough, and the walk is good for you. --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Screamiverse Expo 2026 )18-19, Roanoke, VA) The world of macabre arts... https://www.screamiverse.com/

News of the Week: The headlines in Washington shouted up the passing of the millionaire tax.

Spark of Joy of the Week: While we were waiting for our food one afternoon in the city, Ollie taught us Egyptian numerals. The one's place is called tallies which is a little vertical line just like we tally things. You use one for each of the numbers in the one's place. The number 23 would have 3 tallies. The tens place is called a hobble and looks like a lowercase n. A hobble is an object to which you tether your horse. You use one hobble for each number in the ten's place. The number 123 would end nn|||, apparently spoken as hobble hobble tally tally tally. The hundreds place is a coiled rope, it doesn't look like anything I could find in my regular fonts. You use on coiled rope for each number in the hundreds place. So if you had a really long number you'd have a lot of actual digits. Oh, Ollie is 5 (|||||) years old. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egyptian_numerals

Seattle coffee: strong enough to swim through puddles.

I went to a dispensary and I don't even remember the name of it. Chris had commented that dispensaries were like head shops but with weed. And that was my impression too. They did have pot gelato, but we didn't get any. And lots of pipes and papers and t-shirts. There were 3 or 4 people ahead of us. Chris had phoned in his order and so he was just picking up. I was wandering about the store looking at stuff. 3 times including Chris' order the cashier said the words “that brings your total down to...” Discounts are for veterans and people with medical prescriptions. I didn't check to see if there was a senior discount. I did not, in fact, buy any product since I didn't want to carry it on the plane. But “brings it down to” sure sounded good in this economy.

..........Bring it on, here we are, win or lose.........Modest Mouse …..Float On

5) I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. --Douglas Adams

Protest Sign of the Week: When Cruelty Looks Normal Compassion Looks Radical

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Land Stolen From Natives Built By Slaves & Kept Beautiful By Latins. https://www.facebook.com/groups/138468440878309/

Quote of the Week: The fortunes of the entire world may well ride on the ability of young Americans to face the responsibilities of an old America gone mad. --Phil Ochs

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Donald Trump isn't protecting the Constitution; he's wringing it dry. --The Black Adder aka Rowan Atkinson

Today's Peace of History April 17, 1965: The first national demonstration against the Vietnam War took place in DC. SDS organizers expected 2,000 but 15,000-25,000 showed up.

Seattle calls itself The Emerald City but I know real Emerald City floats somewhere above Kansas.

On the return trip I had wheelchair service. It was actually very easy to find the wheelchair station in Seattle. Staff checked my boarding pass and my ID and stuff; the rest was a carnival ride. A very small lady in a uniform, zoomed me down the very middle of the aisle. There were passengers and children and luggage whizzing past and I was dodging like someone watching a 3D movie. She took me by a few TSA lines to a place in the back with NO ONE in the line and I passed again. After that we went down an elevator to a part of the terminal that had no people, none, I was wheeled onto a train car that took us to my gate. Then the small lady left me waiting. Since the morning had started at 4 am and it was now 6:30 and I hadn't had any coffee, not even my totally unhelpful decaf. So when I was offered coffee even before the plane had finished loading, I didn't say decaf, I drank the real thing. Just about then I discovered my seat mate was a nice lady and her “nearly two” year old daughter. ==I feel like there should be some dramatic musical crescendo at this point.

..........Just remember to always think twice.........Michael Jackson produced by Quincy Jones …..Billie Jean

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, April 17, 2026: Rain-soaked ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: The more bombers the less room for doves of peace. --Nikita Khrushchev

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 4/16/26 : $551,428,238,536

Pentagon Spending as of 4/09/26: $532,032,375,984

Pentagon Spending as of 4/01/26: $509,374,006,944

That's $19,395,862,552 this week and $42,054,231,592 this month, which averages out at $2,628,389,474.5 per day.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/

I know that every good and excellent thing in the world stands moment by moment on the razor-edge of danger and must be fought for. --Thornton Wilder

Famous Last Words: A dying man can do nothing easily. --Benjamin Franklin who died 4/17/1790 from a burst lung.

..........And it's taken us somewhere.........Screaming Trees …..Nearly Lost You ~~All of today's songs are by Seattle artists.

In 2011 Gentlemen's Quarterly named Seattle “America's Least Funny City”.

The nice lady was well organized and ready. She had several different activities so that she could whip out something new every time Isabel, her nearly two year old, got bored. There was a paint with water book, and a toy with a bunch of very, very small limber pool noodles that she could bend into various shapes on a little board. Daddy and the older brother (kindergarten or first grade, I guessed) were in the seats behind us. (Sidebar: when the ballpoint I was using began to hemorrhage ink, the nice lady had baby wipes and helped me clean up myself and the plane.) Once during the flight there was a major switching of parents and children but the Seat Belt sign came on in the middle of it. So it was like a Chinese fire drill for a minute or two. Then I was next to this nice man and Isabel who fussed and got a bottle and slept heavily for the rest of the flight. The thing I will remember most about this family is the brother asking his mother why people cry at weddings. There are so many answers to that question. I didn't hear the reply.

May Peace rain on your days

And Joy Drizzle through your nights

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: