Embattled ePistle

Famous First Words: Tisn't life that matters! --Hugh Walpole Fortitude

I believe we should judge civilizations by how stupid their reasons are to go to war. The question is “is this war stupider than our current war?” Caligula, a mad Roman emperor, declared war against the sea. He originally intended to fight against Britain but got cold feet when it was time. Caligula asked his clueless army to collect shells from the shore as rewards to show back home as proof that they conquered the sea.

..........You that build all the bombs. You that hide behind walls.........Bob Dylan …..Masters of War

Robin Williams' 10 reasons to be an Episcopalian: #10. No snake handling. --Submitted by Wittenburg Door

Who's the enemy, year after year? War after war, who's the enemy? --Allen Ginsberg Iron Horse

It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sun is shining; the temperature is 50°F. I have just returned from my doctor appointment. I have lost 13 pounds which is about 1 per week which is the medically recommended rate of loss. AND when I told him I was going to Seattle for the week of my birthday AND my son who lives there is a chef, he said I could eat anything during that week. Also my blood pressure and blood glucose levels were fine. We take labs again in June. So I'm feeling pretty good. Let's hope KU wins tonight and it will be a great day.

Hoping you have a safe, quiet weekend, dear ones.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The hardest part of a limited two-week military action is the first several years. Just ask Putin. https://www.facebook.com/Care2

In 1859, a war was declared over a pig being shot and killed. The pig had probably crossed the border illegally. Later records say a crisis was already ongoing regarding some San Juan Islands borders between the Americans, the British, and Spain.

..........Hell opened up and put on sale..........Pink Floyd ….Dogs of War

Robin Williams' 10 reasons to be an Episcopalian: #9. You can believe in dinosaurs.

Trivia Questions: Happy World Sleep Day

1. Is getting less than 8 hours of sleep bad for your health?

2. Is it true that some people stop breathing while they sleep?

3. Are sleeping pills the best treatment for insomnia?

4. How do sleep needs vary with age?

5. Does drinking alcohol before bed help you to sleep better?

Big Hello: Dumela – Tswana aka Setswana (Botswana and South Africa) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When you hit 88 mph in the Tesla Cybertruck, you travel back in time to apartheid South Africa. https://www.facebook.com/LibralNurse

Image of the Week: This is Otter, a mascot for Calming the Storm – an anger management organization in Seattle that Kirsten is part of. (About 4 inches tall)

A war started over a soccer match between El Salvador and Honduras in 1969. The playoffs led to small riots and then a war. El Salvador had a population of 3 million in 1969, and Honduras was 5 times larger. Since there were more opportunities, Salvadorans moved to Honduras. This was not accepted by Honduras. The country’s landowners began pushing the government for military action. It was in the midst of all this, the football match happened. Honduras cheated.

..........We're gonna build a Heaven on Earth.........Eddie Money …..Peace In Our Time

Robin Williams' 10 reasons to be an Episcopalian:#No. 8 Male and female God created them; male and female we ordain them.

Moonbeam: What I have known with respect to myself, has tended much to lessen both my admiration, and my contempt, of others. --Joseph Priestley

Blasphemy of the Week: Dunkin' Donuts has opened a new franchise called Sprinklin' Donuts for the Presbyterians. --Submitted by Wittenburg Door

Coffee Joke of the Week: If your coffee order has more words in it than a wedding vow, it's a milkshake with anxiety. https://www.facebook.com/maythecoffeebewithyou

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Explaining to a child that we're mortal and that death is inescapable is probably, for me, the hardest part of being a party clown. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

1) Different people have different sleep needs. Some people only need 6 hours of sleep each night. Others need 9 hours of sleep to work at their best. Find out if you need more sleep by paying attention to how sleepy or tired you are during the day.

The military fought a war against flightless birds in 1930s Australia. The Great Emu War, aka the “Emu War” was started to control the emu population of Australia. The birds were destroying crops. The military was deployed in the area. They used rifles and some birds were killed but the emus then split into small groups and the military had to fall back.

..........And the paper they were signing said they'd never fight again...........Simon & Garfunkel …..Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream

Robin Williams' 10 reasons to be an Episcopalian: #No. 7 You don't have to check your brain at the door.

Almanac: It is Friday, March 13, 2026. The moon went into its last quarter on Wednesday (3/11) and is in Capricorn. Today is Donald Duck Day, Earmuffs Day, Good Samaritan Involvement Day, International Riesling Day, Intrauterine Growth Awareness Restriction (IUGAR) Day, K-9 Veterans Day, Ken Doll Day, L. Ron Hubbard Day, National Jewelry Day, National Open an Umbrella Indoors Day, Shabbat Across the US/Canada, and Smart & Sexy Day. Because it is the Friday of the 2nd full week in March it's also World Sleep Day.

Among those born on this day were Cardinal Richelieu (1696), Joseph Priestly (1733), Jozef II (1741), David Allan (1744), Percival Lowell (1855), Lizzy Ansingh (1875), Hugh Walpole (1884), Sammy Kaye (1910), LaFayette Ron Hubbard (1911), Allan Jaffee (1921), J D Slater (1929), Neil Sedaka (1939), Stephen Vincent Benet (1943), William H. Macy (1950), Robin Duke (1954), and Adam Clayton Powell (1960).

On March thirteenth Halley's Comet was documented for the twelfth time (607), Cortez landed in Mexico (1519), Cambridge College was renamed Harvard (1639), Herschel discovered Uranus (1781), Uncle Sam cartoon figure debuted (1852), Arkansas passed an anti-Klan law (1869), US adopted Standard Time (1884), Tennessee outlawed the teaching of evolution (1925), Pluto's discovery announced (1930), Same Time, Next Year premiered (1975), and Konstantin Chernenko's funeral was held (1985).

Night Sky, 3/13: Venus becomes visible above the western horizon about ½ an hour after sunset. Jupiter is high in the southeast sky within the constellation Gemini late evening. And Uranus is in Taurus near the Pleiades – best viewed with binoculars.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Children of the Corn – who knew

Last week's picture of Max and Ollie with Dad was actually the 3 of them in the garage building a doghouse for Biscuit.

This Week: Saturday, March 14 – International Ask A Question Day & International Day of Mathematics & Pi Day

Sunday, March 15 – Ides of March & Mothering Sunday & World Consumer Rights Day

Night Sky, 3/15: Sunrise: 7:32 am Sunset: 7:28 pm (11 Hours and 51 minutes of daylight) Moonrise: 5:52 am Moon set: 4 pm

Monday, March 16 – Black Press Day & Goddard Day & No Selfies Day

Tuesday, March 17 – Campfire Day & National Slime Day & The Feast of St. Patrick

Night Sky, 3/17: Venus outshines both Jupiter and Sirius. This Evening Star climbs higher each night of spring.

Wednesday, March 18 – Awkward Moments Day & National Biodiesel Day & Transit Driver Appreciation Day

Thursday, March 19 – Goddess of Fertility Day & National Backyard Day & Raspberry Day

Night Sky, 3/19: New Moon 1:23 am in Aries. Great night for sky watching.

The Taiping Rebellion in China started because of an absurd claim by a disappointed civil service exam candidate who didn’t qualify. During 1850-1864, the rebellion took almost 20 million lives. He claimed himself to be the younger brother of Jesus the Christ who was sent to reform China. His name was Hong Xiuquan and he declared himself Heavenly King.

..........Whoopee, we're all gonna die.........Country Joe & the Fish …..Feel Like I'm Fixin' To Die Rag

Robin Williams' 10 reasons to be an Episcopalian: #No. 6 Pew aerobics

2) Yes, some people stop breathing while sleeping. It's called sleep apnea. Breathing pauses can last from a few seconds to minutes. Symptoms include loud snoring, daytime sleepiness, morning headaches, sore throat, dry mouth, and coughing. Talk to your doctor.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Don't break anybody's heart; they only have one. On the other hand, they have 206 bones. --Paws tv

Moonbeam: We thought, because we had power, we had wisdom. --Stephen Vincent Benet

Video of the Week: Neil Sedaka: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do (3:10) https://youtu.be/tbad22CKlB4

Give us a peace equal to the war Or else our souls will be unsatisfied, And we will wonder what we have fought for And why the many died. --Langston Hughes Give Us Our Peace

The war of stray dogs was another ridiculous start for a war that was caused between Bulgaria and Greece in 1925. The dog ran towards the Bulgarian territory. It was shot by a Bulgarian border guard. A Greco-Bulgarian commission had to investigate the matter. Again, the dog probably crossed the border illegally.

..........all the people living life in peace.........John Lennon …..Imagine

Robin Williams' 10 reasons to be an Episcopalian: #No. 5 Church year is color coded.

3) Sleeping pills don't treat the underlying cause of your sleeping problems, but they may help you get some rest. Changing the habits that make it hard to sleep works for most people. Talk to your doctor.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Therapy is great, but some of y'all need to just apologize and stop being the problem. https://www.facebook.com/rezzybop

Weird Word of the Week: Stot (v) bound with a stiff-legged gait. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/stot

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove tar from a car without damaging the finish. Saturate a clean cloth with Coca-Cola and use it to gently rub the spot. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola.html

A war that was long forgotten to an extent where the city that declared war forgot to go fight. The city of Huéscar declared war on Denmark when Napoleon’s War was being conducted over Spain during 1809 even though they supported the French Empire during the war. Huéscar wanted to challenge the country. In 1981, an historian found the declaration and informed authorities. They held a peace ceremony where the Ambassador of Denmark and the City Mayor publicly shook hands and sorted out the misunderstanding.

...........And if the enemy came close to me, why, I'd probably start to sneeze..........Phil Ochs …..Draft Dodgers Rag

Robin Williams' 10 reasons to be an Episcopalian: #No. 4 Free wine on Sunday

4) Sleep patterns change with age. Generally children 5-10 years old should get 10-11 hours of sleep daily. Teens (10-17 years) need 8½ -9 hours and adults need 7-9 hours.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In the event of a Tornado put some hotdogs in your pockets...that way the search dogs will find you first.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Awesome Con 2026 (13-15, Washington, DC) DC's Comic Con... ~~I think they missed a real opportunity by not saying Awesome Con 2026 – Not all the geeks are in the government. https://awesome-con.com/

Where Credit's Due of the Week: Pancho & Lefty was actually written by Townes Van Zandt. https://youtu.be/zprRZ2wFQD4 Go ePistle Go listed it as one of Merle Haggard's songs which he did sing with Willie Nelson on an album called Pancho & Lefty ~~Real credit pointed out² by vr of TH

Spark of Joy of the Week: Country Joe and the Fish at Woodstock: The Fish Cheer (3:30) https://youtu.be/dATyZBEeDJ4 ~~Goodbye, Joe. Thanks for introducing us to Janis.

The Pastry War was one fought over a decade later after the incident leading to the conflict started. In 1828, a lawless mob destroyed a pastry shop in Mexico City. The concern was not taken seriously and was quickly forgotten. Years later, King Louis Philipe demanded a 90% interest rate from the bakery, but they refused, blockaded Mexico city, and occupied Veracruz City. The British, French, Spanish, and the US got involved. Result: The Mexican government threw the French out of Vercruz.

..........Dreaming about the world as one.........Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam …..Peace Train

Robin Williams' 10 reasons to be an Episcopalian: #No 3 All of the pageantry – none of the guilt.

5) Drinking alcohol might make you sleepy, but it keeps you from getting deep sleep. If you have sleep apnea, drinking alcohol can make symptoms worse.

Protest Sign of the Week: Blessed Are The Peacemakers Not The Icemakers

Quote of the Week: Can you believe humans were gifted with a planet overflowing with trees, fruit, water, natural medicine, and sunshine...And somehow we said, “Let's invent debt, political parties, conflict, and war. --Rushi

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It must be a challenge at white supremacist meetings discerning between the one undercover cop and the twelve who are just off duty. https://www.facebook.com/ComradePunisher2

Today's Peace of History: March 13, 1945. Pax Christi, an international Catholic peace organization, was founded in France. https://paxchristiusa.org/

The Kettle War happened on October 8, 1784. The name of the war is because the only shot fired hit a soup kettle. It was a confrontation between the Holy Roman Empire and the Republic of the Seven Netherlands. Louis XVI was in financial trouble because of war and he surrendered after the first shot was fired.

..........We'll be French fried potatoes by and by..........Tom Lehrer …..We'll All Go Together When We Go

Robin Williams' 10 reasons to be an Episcopalian: #No. 2 You don't have to know how to swim to get baptized.

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, March 13, 2026: Embattled ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: If you give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest of men, I will find something in them which will hang him. --Cardinal Richelieu

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 3/12/26: $453,699,187,313

Pentagon Spending as of 3/05/26: $435,095,928,797 = 18,603,258,516 spent this week just to kill people https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/

Nurture peace, know peace in your heart, raise peace in your mind, make peace inside your body. --Mary Walker Peace

Robin Williams' 10 reasons to be an Episcopalian: #No. 1 No matter what you believe, there's bound to be at least one other Episcopalian who agrees with you.

Famous Last Words: Failure is impossible. --Susan B Anthony who died 3/13/1906

..........Oh, I must have killed a million men and now they want me back again.........Phil Ochs …..I Ain't A-marching Anymore

The countries Peru, Bolivia and Chile went to war over bird droppings. It might sound ridiculous to people now. The fight was, however, for a legit reason, as the excreta were used to make gunpowder. The war was from 1873-83 and was one of the deadliest wars in the 19th century. Apparently, Chile won. --More information, sources, etc. for all 10 silly reasons to go to war: https://unbelievable-facts.com/2021/08/wars-fought-for-ridiculous-reasons.html

May Peace engulf us

And Joy envelop us

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Go ePistle Go

Famous First Words: You were invited... --Giuseppe Verdi La Traviata

Yay! It's National Cheerleading Week! Do cheerleaders for the Skunk Ball team scream “The White Stripes Stink”? ** Cheerleader: I Do My Own Stunts.

..........But I keep my nose on the grandstone..........Merle Haggard …..Workin' Man Blues

The United States can pay any debt it has because we can always print money to do that. So there is zero probability of default. --Alan Greenspan

It is a wet Friday morning. Winds of 20 mph from the SSE are blowing in temperatures in the 60s and whipping the willow branches into frenzy. Rain pitter-patters on the roof and spits against the window. Puck went out before light, shook rain water over our room and the kitchen and the bedroom before drinking a little milk and going back to sleep. I haven't seen Veronica at all today. Birds are silent. The wind has blown a crack into the cloud cover and a hint of blue sky is visible behind the tree trunk which are themselves dancing in the high winds. A restless morning, a morning moving constantly, an almost spring morning. And restlessly, I write to you.

Hope your weekend jumps with cheer and high spirits, team

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I might be mean, but I have a good heart. When I tell someone to go to hell, I still hope they get there safely. https://www.facebook.com/moomoocqt

Cheerleaders: Bringing The Real Bounce To Life ** My dog thinks he's a cheerleader. He's a pompomeranian.

..........Not knowin' where I'm bound..........Merle Haggard …..Mama Tried

Trivia Questions: It's Middle Name Pride Day! Can you name these people by their middle name?

1. A US president: Milhous

2. A US poet: Allen

3. A US film director: Ford

4. A US activist: Luther

5. A US singer: Aaron

Big Hello: K'uxi – Tzotzil (A Mayan language spoken in Chiapas, Mexico) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Apparently when I said I wanted to see Les Misérables someday, I should have clarified that I did not mean “unfolding on the streets around me in realtime”. https://www.facebook.com/FightThePatriarchy

Image of the Week: Me in my Champion Seahawks hat sent to me from my daughter, Kirsten, who lives in Seattle.

Strange Speculation of the Week: We've long known that the cheatin' cheeto is an admirer of Hitler. One of the things people say about Hitler all the time, “killed 6 million”. What if the faux president is trying to beat Hitler's record. Remember during the pandemic he told people to inject bleach and other crazy stuff. 400,000 deaths were attributed to his mismanagement. Not even in contention but a pretty good start. He's now killing people on 3 continents. A war will add numbers rapidly. He has the nuclear codes, could he want 6 billion? Is anybody keeping track? ~~Sorry to be such a downer. I'll try to think up a joke to transition. It's Thursday afternoon and no funny line has presented itself.

Cheerleaders: Born To Stunt, Forced To Study ** Cheerleading is my jam and I'm here to spread it.

The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression. --Bell Hooks

..........Is the best of the free life behind us now..........Merle Haggard …..Are The Good Times Really Over

Moonbeam: He said true things, but called them by wrong names. --Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Blasphemy of the Week: Why do we sit, stand, and kneel during worship? To pray with our whole selves. Also known as Pew Aerobics: The original Full-Body Workout. --Submitted by High Church Coyote

Coffee Joke of the Week: I want my coffee so strong it would get somebody stripped of their Olympic gold medal. --Jonathan Edward Durham

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. --George Eliot

Cheerleader: I Can Cheer Louder Than The Crowd. ** I passed my cheerleading exam. I went in and said, “GIVE ME AN A” and they did.

What if nonviolence wasn't an inhuman standard demanded of the powerless, but an ethic upon which we reimagined the state. --Ezra Klein

..........Headed somewhere in flight..........Merle Haggard …..Silver Wings

1) Richard Milhous Nixon

Almanac: It is Friday, March 3, 2026. The moon was full (Worm) last Tuesday (3/3) and is in Libra. Today is Day of the Dude, Hockey Jersey Day, Oreo Cookie Day, Sofia Kovalevskaya Math Day, Employee Appreciation Day, Middle Name Pride Day, and National Frozen Food Day. Because it is the first Friday it is Dress In Blue Day, Employee Appreciation Day, Global Day Of Unplugging, National Salesperson Day, National Speech and Debate Education Day, and World Day of Prayer. Because it is the first Friday of the first full Week it is also Middle Name Pride Day. Finally, because it is the first weekend it is National Days of Unplugging (6-7).

Among those born on this day were Cyrano de Bergerac (1619), Giuseppi Paganelli (1710), Karol Kurpinski (1785), Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806), Guy Kibbee (1882), Ring Lardner (1885), Furry Lewis (1893), Dave Clark (1909), Stewart Granger (1913), Ed McMahon (1923), Sarah Caldwell (1924), Alan Greenspan (1926), Gabriel Garcia Marquez (1928), Marion Barry (1936), Merle Haggard (1937), Valentina Tereshkova-Nikolayev (1937), Kit Bond (1939), Willie Stargell (1940), Mary Wilson (1944), Rob Reiner (1945), Tom Arnold (1959), Shaquille O'Neal (1972), and Greg Ostertag (1973).

On March sixth the Treaty of Paris was signed (1323), Magellan sighted Guam (1521), the first black Mason was initiated (1775), the first state vaccination legislation was passed (IL, 1810), the Alamo fell (1836), La Traviata premiered (1853), the US Census Bureau was formed (1902), the Friendship Treaty between Turkey and Bulgaria was signed (1929), Ghana became independent (1957), Cassius Clay is renamed Muhammad Ai (1964), and Larry Flynt was shot by a sniper (1978).

Night Sky, 3/6: Before sunrise the star above the moon is Spica, the brightest star in Virgo. Shortly after sunset Mercury, Venus and Saturn will shine near the western horizon while in the southeast Jupiter remains the dominant star. Uranus & Neptune are there too but you need optical aids.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Dad, Max, and Ollie – I have no idea where they are

This Week: Saturday, March 7 – Genealogy Day & National Be Heard Day & Sock Monkey Day

Night Sky, 3/7: Venus & Saturn will seem so close to each other that you can see them both in your binoculars. Visible both nights just after sunset for around 45 minutes.

Sunday, March 8 – International Women's Day & Girls Write Now Day & National Proofreading Day & Volunteers of America Day

Night Sky, 3/8: Daylight Savings Time Begins!! Set your clock one hour ahead. Venus & Saturn will seem so close to each other that you can see them both in your binoculars. Visible just after sunset for around 45 minutes.

Monday, March 9 – Napping Day & Get Over It Day & Panic Day

Tuesday, March 10 – International Bagpipe Day & International Day of Women Judges & Organize Your Home Office Day

Wednesday, March 11 – Dream 2026 Day & National Find Common Ground Day & World Plumbing Day

Night Sky, 3/11: The moon enters its fourth quarter (4:39 am CDT) and is in Capricorn.

Thursday, March 12 – Working Moms Day & World Kidney Day & Girl Scout Birthday Day

Night Sky, 3/12: Sunrise: 7:37 am Sunset 7:25 pm (11 hours and 48 minutes of daylight) Moonrise: 3:55 am Moonset: 12:48 pm

Cheerleader: Just Flipping Awesome ** These cheerleaders have a yell for every holiday: Happy New Cheer! Give me a P...Give me a U...Give me a R...Give me an I...Give me an M

Care is the antidote to violence. --Saidiya Hartman

..........Out of kindness, I suppose..........Merle Haggard …..Pancho and Lefty

2) Edgar Allen Poe

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Went to the bathroom without my phone. There's 118 floor tiles and the longest word on a shampoo bottle is “methylchloroisothiazolinone”. --Submitted by Aloka (The Peace Dog)

Moonbeam: He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered. --Ring Lardner

Fun Fact of the Week: National Frozen Food Day: The increasing interest in plant-based diets has paved the way for more vegan and vegetarian options in the frozen food section. However, the market is also driven by “flexitarians” – people reducing their meat consumption without eliminating it.

Video of the Week: A tribute to Rob Reiner: (:45) https://youtu.be/XZmcHS9P4uU

Unless you are willing to compromise, society cannot live together. --Alan Greenspan

Cheerleader: Life Cheers Louder When I Show Up ** You don't scare me. I'm a zombie cheerleader.

Nonviolence is a weapon of the strong. --Mahatma Gandhi

..........A place where even squares can have a ball..........Merle Haggard …..Okie From Muskogee

3) Francis Ford Coppola

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It has often been said that the old Royal families of Europe “learned nothing and forgot nothing”. An apt description of the House of Trump. --Submitted by lh of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Sempiternal – everlasting or eternal https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sempiternal

Dragon of the Week: Door Handle - Simontornya Castle, Hungary

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean tarnished pennies. Fill a drinking glass with Coca-Cola and drop in the pennies. Let sit for one hour, and then wipe clean with a soft cloth. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola.html ~~Because there's nothing worse than a dirty penny.

Cheeringleading: Life's Better With A Twist. ** When in doubt, Cheer it out!

When the rich wage war, it is the poor who die. --Jean-Paul Sartre

...........Searching for that four-leaf clover..........Merle Haggard …..That's The Way Love Goes

4) Martin Luther King Jr

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Capitalism is where you build enough bombs to blow up the entire world but you can't put out forest fires. --Hairy Revolutionary

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: BlerDCon Geek Nik (6-8, Arlington, VA) ...a vibrant, growing community celebrating the intersection of Black identity with passions for anime, comics, gaming, sci-fi, and cosplay... https://blerdcon.org/

Math Joke of the Week: How do you get 100 math teachers into a room that only fits 99? You carry the 1. --Submitted by Puns

T-Shirt of the Week: I Survived My Partner's PhD Dissertation

Spark of Joy of the Week: Do unto others 20% better than you would expect them to do unto you, to correct for subjective error. --Linus Pauling

Cheerleading: Because Pom Poms Make Everything Better ** Gracie is such a cheerleader that her herb garden is full of Encourage Mint.

..........But they won't let my secret go untold..........Merle Haggard …..Branded Man

5) Elvis Aaron Presley

Protest Sign of the Week: Turn The Files Into Trials

Quote of the Week: Fortunately the US didn't elect a woman president to prattle on cluelessly about interior decorating in a time of war. --Joyce Carol Oates

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Lord, bless our work, bless our rest, and bless whoever invented coffee. Amen. --Submitted by High Church Coyote

Today's Peace of History: March 6, 1957. Ghana became the first black African country to become independent of colonial rule.

Cheerleader: Always Flipping Excited For The Team **Duh, the cheerleaders crossed the road to get to the Pep Rally.

..........I guess everything does change..........Merle Haggard …..My Favorite Memory

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, March 6 , 2026: Go ePistle Go. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: If you take out the killings, Washington (DC) actually has a very, very low crime rate. --Marion Barry

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 3/05/26: $435,095,928,797

Pentagon Spending as of 2/25/26: $415,908,360,851

$19,187,567,976 Nineteen billion, one hundred and eighty-seven million, five hundred and sixty-seven thousand, nine hundred and forty-six dollars in one week.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/

Fear invariably and universally induces disengagement, and disengagement is negative division of labor. --Alan Greenspan

Famous Last Words: Never take a risk all year long. –-Frank Loesser The Company Way (the finale of How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying which closed 3/6/65 after 1,415 performances, 7 Tony Awards, and a Pulitzer Prize.

..........And the dream of peace comes true..........Merle Haggard …..Rainbow Stew

Cheerleader: Delivering Pep With Precision. ** Our pompoms are so fluffy even the clouds are jealous. ** Keep Calm And Cheer On

May Peace lift your spirits

And Joy raise your outlook

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Not The Train Kind ePistle

Famous First Words: The right of citizens of the United States to vote... The 19^th Amendment to the US Constitution

It's National Engineers Week. Engineer: Someone who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge. See also: wizard, magician. ++ My dad is fixing some electric wires in our house. I'm his 22 year old son who is an electrical engineering student who is holding this flashlight for him.

Things I'd rather do than watch the State of the Union Address: Give my 4 cats a bath – all at once

..........Make up your mind, honey.........Janis Joplin …..Move Over

We are star stuff. --Neil deGrasse Tyson

Our Constitution was not written in the sands to be washed away by each wave of new judges blown in by each successive political wind. --Hugo Black

It is a bright, warm (42°F) Friday morning. The sun is shining across a clear light blue sky. There are no clouds to hide the sky and only a light breeze that barely moves the willow branches and allows the other trees to remain still and stately. Here and there early spring flowers are peeking out of the soil looking for rain. Squirrels and birds silently come and go on the patio nibbling sunflower seeds and peanuts. Puck has been out and returned. Veronica is still asleep somewhere in the house. It is so quiet that the furnace coming on gives me a small startle. Ah, the coffee is fresh and hot and welcome. It tickles my nose with steam and aroma; it warms my tongue and gives me joy. Wow, birdsong picked up just as I set the cup down. Tweet, tweeter, tweet. A magic morning, indeed, and now I get to write to you. Better and better.

Hope your weekend is beautifully designed and wonderfully executed, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Knitting is impossible with two kittens. That's why I like to use needles. --submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Spiritual Joke of the Week: My blood type is technically 0-positive, but spiritually it's Dark Roast. https://www.facebook.com/maythecoffeebewithyou

A Layman's Guide to Engineering Terms: Percussive Maintenance...Hit it and hope it works. ++ Rosie was a software engineer turned surgeon until the day she shut down all of the patient's body functions then started them up again.

Things I'd rather do than watch the State of the Union Address: Pass a kidney stone

..........And when you walk around the world, babe.........Janis Joplin …..Cry Baby

The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff. --Carl Sagan

Trivia Questions: Happy National Retro Day! Can you name these retro items that are still in use?

1. This product featured a cocoa bean shaped bottle and tried to replace coffee. What is it?

2. What was the first product to use a barcode?

3. How long has The Weather Channel been around?

4. When or where did the first Burger King open?

5. How long have people been talking about “Pop(ular) Culture”?

Pre-Blasphemy of the Week: Pam Bondi: Patron saint of pedophiles. --Submitted by sd of ks

Big Hello: Xewani – Tsonga (a Bantu language spoken in South Africa, Mozambique, Zimbabwe, and

Swaziland. https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Maître de to single female diner: We're going to relocate you to the bar. Your contentment is unnerving the couples. --submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Image of the Week: State of the Union Address

Engineers don't panic; they recalculate. ++ A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are all trying to find the volume of a yellow bouncy ball. The mathematician gets his calipers out and measures the ball and evaluates the integral. The physicist fetches a bowl of water, drops the ball in and measures the displacement. The engineer strolls up with a book in hand, checks the serial number and looks up the volume in his yellow bouncy ball table.

Things I'd rather do than watch the State of the Union Address: Sit on my tv and watch my couch

..........Honey, she doesn't understand, no no no no.........Janis Joplin …..A Woman Left Lonely

There is stardust in your veins. We are literally, ultimately children of the stars. --Jocelyn Bell Burnell

Put Down of the Week: State of the Swamp, you mean.

Moonbeam: This is certainly the Will of the Supreme...that the whole human race should agree together and be joined in a certain affectionate union by, as it were, a mutual embrace. --St. Constantine-the-Great

Blasphemy of the Week: I hope your 40 days of shame, penitence, and self=denial are going well. --Submitted by MMS

Coffee Joke of the Week: What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common? They are all better rich.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Existence is mandatory. Understanding it is optional. Enjoying it is unlikely. --Submitted by Club42

A Layman's Guide to Engineering Terms: High Impedance Air Gap...It's not plugged in. ++ Days after the successful Moon landing engineers at NASA were still trying to land at least one high-five.

Things I'd rather do than watch the State of the Union Address: Fold fitted bed sheets into perfectly flat squares

..........Yeah, you fill me like the mountains.........Janis Joplin …..Half Moon

We are made out of stardust. The iron in the hemoglobin molecules in the blood in your right hand came from a star that blew up 8 billion years ago. The iron in your left hand came from another star. --Jill Tarter

1) Coca-Cola was first marketed in 1886 and never actually replaced coffee.

Almanac: It is Friday, February 27, 2026. The moon will be full (Worm) on Tuesday (3/3) and is in Cancer. Today is Anosmia Awareness Day, International Polar Bear Day, National Kahlua Day, National Retro Day, Pokemon Day, and World NGO Day. Because it is the fourth Friday it is also Skip the Straw Day.

Among those born on this day were Constantine the Great (280), Rembrandt (1622), Silverius Muller (1745), Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807), Hugo L. Black (1886), William Demarest (1892), Marian Anderson (1902), Joan Bennett (1910), Lawrence Durrell (1912), Irwin Shaw (1913), Joanne Woodward (1930), Elizabeth Taylor (1932), Ralph Nader (1934), Howard Hesseman (1940), Mary Frann (1943), Tony Gonzalez (1976), and Chelsea Clinton (1980),

On February twenty-seventh Russia opened an embassy in London (1557), Henry IV was crowned king of France (1594), Washington DC was placed under Congressional jurisdiction (1801), the first federal vaccination legislation was enacted (1813), New Orleans celebrated its first Mardi Gras (1827), the Dominican Republic became independent (1844), the first black woman graduated from Harvard Law (Charlotte Ray, 1872), Holst debuted "The Planets" (1919), the Supreme Court unanimously upheld the 19th amendment (1922), the Supreme Court outlawed sit-down strikes (1939), the 22nd amendment to the constitution was ratified limiting president to 2 terms (1951), Heartbreak Hotel was released (1956), and the American Indian Movement occupied Wounded Knee (SD, 1973).

Night Sky, 2/27: The waxing moon shines near the planet Jupiter and the Gemini twins, Castor and Pollux.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Olympic Doubles Tricycling

Dad Jokes of the Week: Once upon a time, there lived a king who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible king but he made a great ruler. --Submitted by Puns

This Week: Saturday, February 28 – Floral Design Day & National Public Sleeping Day & World Sword Swallowers Day

Night Sky, 2/28: A rare planetary alignment will light up the pre-dawn sky. Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune will appear along the same arc, following the ecliptic. Venus will shine brightest, Mars glows red, and Jupiter and Saturn beam steadily. Uranus and Neptune will need binoculars or a small telescope to spot. This is your chance to witness multiple worlds in a single sweeping view, a reminder of the solar system’s precise cosmic dance. Look east before sunrise and experience the magic! https://x.com/NightSkyToday/status/2016870947827962181

Sunday, March 1 – Black Women's Day & World Compliment Day & Zero Discrimination Day

Monday, March 2 – Dr Seuss Day & Ta'Anit Esther & World Teen mental Illness Day

Night Sky, 3/2: Orion is the center of the constellations in the southern sky. Taurus and Gemini are both located near Orion and Canis Major can be found below Orion.

Tuesday, March 3 – I Want You To Be Happy Day & Simplify Your Life Day & World Wildlife Day

Night Sky, 3/3: Total Lunar Eclipse features deep red and orange-red colors visible from Central and Western North America Best viewing 5-6 am CST Details (best around 5:33 pm in Lawrence, KS)

Wednesday, March 4 – Brain Injury Awareness Day & March Forth Do Something Day & World Obesity Day

Night Sky, 3/4: Sunrise: 6:47 am Sunset: 6:17 pm (11 Hours and 30 minutes of daylight) Moonrise 7:16 am Moonset 7:51 pm

Thursday, March 5 – Mars Day & Slam The Scam Day & World Book Day

Beware of becoming a software engineer. You'll be fixing every family member's devices until you die. ++ It takes 2 engineers to change a light bulb; one to change the bulb and one to buy the six-pack.

Things I'd rather do than watch the State of the Union Address: Clean all the cat litter boxes on my block

..........'Cause how could anything ever go wrong.........Janis Joplin …..My Baby

We are stardust, we are golden. We are billion-year-old carbon --Joni Mitchell Woodstock

2) In 1974 Wrigley's Juicy Fruit gum was the first item to get its barcode scanned.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The real question of life after death isn't whether or not it exists, but even if it does what problem does this really solve. --Ludwig Wittgenstein

Moonbeam: Travel can be one of the most rewarding forms of introspection. --Lawrence Durrell

Philosophy Quote of the Week: That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder. --Calvin i.e. Bill Watterson

Fun Fact of the Week: Crickets are basically tiny thermometers. Count the number of chirps they make in 15 seconds, add 40, and you'll get the ambient temperature in Fahrenheit. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Video of the Week: Marian Anderson singing Go Down, Moses. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lebh64WKUOM

The Founding Fathers gave the free press the protection it must have to bare the secrets of government and inform the people. --Hugo Black

Things I'd rather do than watch the State of the Union Address: Clean out the septic tank

A Layman's Guide to Engineering Terms: Cycle Power To The Panel...Turn it off and on again. ++ Kim decided to become an engineer when he realized he didn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.

….......I was playin' soft while Bobby sang the blues, yeah.........Janis Joplin …..Me And Bobby McGee

Never forget your real identity. You are a luminous, conscious stardust being forged in the crucible of cosmic fire. --Deepak Chopra

3) The Weather Channel was founded in 1980 by meteorologist John Coleman and billionaire Frank Batten.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The more I get to know people, the more I realize why Noah only let animals on the boat. --Liz Ann

Weird Word of the Week: Numinous: Something that is spiritual, mysterious, or awesome. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/numinous

Dragon of the Week: Homemade Dragon

Science Joke of the Week: Science Teacher: Did you know, protons have mass? Me: I didn't even know they were Catholic. --Submitted by Wittenburg Door

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean hard water stains, lime scale, or calcium build-up from a teakettle. Fill the teakettle with Coca=Cola and let it sit overnight. The phosphoric acid and ascorbic acid dissolve the mineral build up, and all you need to do is rinse the teakettle in the morning. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola.html

Things I'd rather do than watch the State of the Union Address: Water my lawn with an eye dropper.

Project Manager: Engineer without a degree. ++ My engineering friends said I couldn't build a joke that lasts. So I reinforced it with steel sarcasm.

The atoms of our bodies are traceable to stars that manufactured them in their cores and exploded these enriched ingredients across our galaxy, billions of years ago. For this reason, we are biologically connected to every other living thing in the world. We are chemically connected to all molecules on Earth. And we are atomically connected to all atoms in the universe. We are not figuratively, but literally stardust." ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson

...........Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me.........Janis Joplin …..Mercedes Benz

4) Inst-Burger King opened in 1953 in Jacksonville, FL. Kramer and Burns founded it. A year later, McLamore and Edgerton bought it. In 1957 they introduced the Whopper. And in 1959 changed the name to Burger King.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Canada may not have a gold for women's hockey but we also don't have a pedophile for a president so I'd say we are still winning. --Sam G

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Apparently there are no conventions this weekend so here's some jokes to tide you over. Science fiction jokes put your laughs light-years ahead of the convention crowd. / The alien brought a telescope to the convention because she wanted to get a closer look at the Terrans.

Math Joke of the Week: Using fractions instead of decimals is pointless. --Submitted by LanguageNerds

Excuse of the Week: Of course I talk to myself because sometimes I need expert advice. --Submitted by ff of ks

Spark of Joy of the Week: Yūgen (n) a profound, mysterious sense of the beauty of the universe that triggers a deep emotional response. https://traditionalkyoto.com/culture/yugen/

Things I'd rather do than watch the State of the Union Address: Root Canal

A Layman's Guide to Engineering Terms: Thermally Reconfigured...It melted. ++ This Lot Reserved For Engineer Parking Only...Violators Will have Their Cars Redesigned.

The cosmos is within us. We are made of stars. --Carl Sagan

..........My love is like a seed, baby, just needs time to grow.........Janis Joplin …..Trust Me

5) Popular Culture was first mentioned in 1818 in a speech by educator, Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi. I was unable or perhaps unwilling to work hard enough to find a copy of the speech. Apparently, Johann meant it to signify “the people's culture”, the ways of the poor, the workers, the uneducated, etc.

Protest Sign of the Week: We're Not Being Governed, We're Being Looted

Quote of the Week: Bless you, wherever you are, windswept child of a shooting star. --John Lennon

Unnecessarily Complicated Word of the Week: Colonel: How is pronounced kernel? --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Somewhere a dying star is putting more effort into its final moments than I put into my morning routine. --Submitted by Club42

Today's Peace of History: : February 27, 1973: Hundreds of Oglala Lakota Sioux and members of the American Indian Movement (AIM) occupied the village of Wounded Knee, South Dakota. They were angered over a long history of violated treaties, mistreatment, family dismemberment, cultural destruction, discrimination, and impoverishment through confiscation of resources and they controlled the city for 71 days.

Things I'd rather do than watch the State of the Union Address: Pour habanero sauce in my eyes

Architects: Engineers who can't do math. ++ 1% of the engineering students are there because they want to help solve society's big problems; 3% like physics; 6% want to make big money; the rest want to build an Ironman suit.

You and I are made of stardust. We are the stuff of exploded stars. We are therefore, at least 1 way that the Universe knows itself. That, to me, is astonishing. --Bill Nye

..........Don't turn your back on love, no, no.........Janis Joplin …..Get It While You Can

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, February 27, 2026: Not the Train Kind ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Warning of the Week: Don't believe what you see in the cartoons. No matter how hard you throw a toilet plunger, it won't actually stick to someone's face. Don't ask me how I know this. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: I once said to my father, when I was a boy, “Dad, we need a third political party.” He said to me,”I'll settle for a second one.” --Ralph Nader

Cost of War: War and the Pentagon Spending as of 2/25/26: $415,908,360,851 https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/

The National Priorities Project has updated and changed its Cost Of War counters. This is the very nice note I got from them about the change. “We just did an update to the counters. The new counter shows how quickly we are spending the $1 trillion budget for war. The War on Terror counters were outdated. Many of those expenses have slowed down or stopped, and others are no longer being reported by the sources we used to estimate them. I hope the new counter is useful - we'll be introducing more in the coming months, but for now, it feels important to show how the country is spending $1 trillion for the Pentagon and war.”

A union of government and religion tends to destroy government and degrade religion. --Hugo Black

Famous Last Words: Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite (I told you I was ill) Spike Milligan who died 2/27/02 ~~It's Irish and it's on his tombstone.

We are made of stardust; why not take a few moments to look up at the family album? --Natalie Angier

..........Just a little bit harder.........Janis Joplin …..Try ~~On 22/17/71 Janis' album Pearl hit #1 on the charts and stays for 9 weeks. She had died in October of '70. Try is actually a song that was added to a re-release of Pearl later. One of the songs, Buried Alive In The Blues, is an instrumental on the original.

Things I'd rather do than watch the State of the Union Address: Pop bubble wrap

A Layman's Guide to Engineering Terms: Kinetic Disassembly...it blew up. ++ I have one last engineering joke, but it's still under construction.

May Peace design your days

And Joy devise your nights

prairie mama

christine

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