Immuned ePistle

Famous First Words: Give us a peace equal to war... --Langston Hughes Give Us Our Peace Happy Poets Day!

Irony: Anti-vaxxer RFK Jr seems to have immunity from Trump's firings. / Inconvenient Fact: 99/99% of people that took the vaccine for the Spanish Flu (1918) have passed away.

..........I tore my mind on a jagged sky….......The First Edition with Kenny Rogers …..Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Is In)

This is not your Average, Everyday darkness, this is ADVANCED DARKNESS. --Stephen Hillenburg as SpongeBob Squarepants

It is a beautiful Friday morning. Temperatures are rising slowly; right now it's 70°F. In spite of the recent heat the backyard is very green and lush with foliage. Trees, grass, flowers, and shrubs are all bright and clean and green. There is no breeze and the only movement is the neighbor's dog slowly sniffing his way around the fence. No birds or squirrels or rabbits are at the sunflower seed pile on the patio at the moment but seed casings suggest someone was there earlier. Such a peaceful scene and quiet. No bird song, no dog barks, no motors roaring off to engage the world beyond. Puck has been out and returned. He refused breakfast and now naps under my desk. I have made my coffee, read my comic strips, and checked my emails; all those little morning jobs are done. So now I sip my breakfast and prepare to write to you. Can't think of a better morning routine.

Hope your weekend is immuned from trouble, my lovely daffodils.**

**It seems to me late in the season for Daffodil Day; they're very springish to me.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Literature is the most agreeable way of ignoring life. --Fernando Pessoa

Invent a Word That English Needs So Badly of the Week: Dickmatized … the word is self explanatory. --dm

RFK Jr is proud of his lack of qualifications. His ringtone is a duck quacking. / Warning! The COVID Vaccine Side Effect: constantly telling people you have taken the vaccine.

..........You picked a fine time to leave me….......Kenny Rogers …..Lucille

Trivia Questions: Senior Citizens Day

1. If we define “senior citizen” as someone old enough to collect their Social Security, what age would that be?

2. What percentage of the US population is over 65 years old?

3. For comparison, what is the median age of the US population?

4. How many people in the US are over 100 years old, more or less?

5. What percentage of the US population over 65 is female?

Big Hello: Skiöe – Wymysorys (Poland) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you hold the sole of your foot up to your ear, you can hear the sound of your hip dislocating. --Steven Acree --Submitted by jm or ks

Image of the Week: The room that holds my office has large double closet doors that are mirrored. Rather than sit and stare at myself I have filled them with pictures and other things. Here is a detail from that.

I live with an anti-vaxxer. Yeah, my four-year-old. I thought she just hated needles, but then she drew a picture and said, 'This is just Bill Gates trying to inject his microchip into me, daddy.' I said, 'That’s it, no more YouTube and no more Joe Rogan for you. We’re taking a bath.'" / Idea: Release the vaccine in vape form. I Promise you no one will ask what's in it at that point.

..........I'm your knight in shining armor….......Kenny Rogers …..Lady

Moonbeam: My children are not royal; they just happen to have the Queen as their aunt. --Princess Margaret, Countess of Snowden

Blasphemy of the Week: Has anyone ever thought of forming an organization that goes into Christian Nationalists' churches to convert them to Christianity? --Submitted by MPE

Coffee Joke of the Week: Coffee: It doesn't change my perspective of some people. It just makes me less likely to say it out loud to their face first thing in the morning.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Pissed off women are a force of nature. --Submitted by bu of ks

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk through the woods and find a bridge over a crocodile-river. The anti-vaxxer asks, "What are the odds we make it across safely?" The engineer calculates and says, "There's a 99.97% chance we're fine." The anti-vaxxer says, "Forget that, I'm swimming!" / Unfortunately there is no vaccine for stupidity.

..........For God's sake, turn around….......The First Edition with Kenny Rogers …..Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town

1) At age 62 you can collect your Social Security with a monthly benefit drop of 30%. At 67 years old you can collect your full retirement amount. If you are 70 and benefit increases from your delay stop accruing.

Almanac: It is Friday, 8/21/26. The moon entered its first quarter on Wednesday (8/19) and is in Sagittarius. Today is Brazilian Blow-out Day, International Day of Remembrance and Tribute To The Victims of Terrorism, Internet Self-Care Day, National Spumoni Day, Poet's Day, Senior Citizen's Day, and World Daffodil Day. Because it is the third Friday it is also Men's Grooming Day and National Day of Action Against Bullying and Violence.

Among those born on this day were Augustin-Louis (1789), Aubrey Beardsley (1872), Bugs Moran (1891), Count Basie (1904), Friz Freleng (1906), Princess Margaret (1930), Melvin Van Peebles (1932), Wilt Chamberlain (1936), Kenny Rogers (1938), Clarence Williams III (1939), Jackie DeShannon (1944), Sharon Draper (1948), Kim Cattrall (1956), Stephen Hillenburg (1961), Usain Bolt (1986), and Kacey Musgraves (1988).

On August twenty-first Brahe took up astronomy (1560), Pueblos took Santa Fe from the Spanish (1831), Nat Turner revolted (1831), The venetian blind was patented (1858), The fourth Pan-African Congress met (NYC, 1927), The Dumbarton Oaks conference opened (1944), Hawaii became the 50th state (1959), and Gemini 5 was launched (1965).

Night Sky, 8/21: Venus shines brightly in the western sky after sunset. Saturn rises before midnight in the southern sky and Neptune rises late in the night sky.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Spent a little time on the mountain

This Week: Saturday, August 22 – Be An Angel Day & National Tooth Fairy Day & World Plant Milk Day

Sunday, August 23 – Black Ribbon Day & To Topless Day & Find Your Inner Nerd Day

Night Sky, 8/23: Predawn Mars rises early in Gemini and Uranus can be seen near the Pleiades.

Monday, August 24 – Intentional Kindness Day & International Strange Music Day & Vesuvius Day

Tuesday, August 25 – Kiss and Make Up Day & National Park Service Day

Night Sky, 8/25: Sunrise: 6:39 am Sunset: 8:08 pm 13 hours and 29 minutes of daylight Moonset: 12:15 am Moonrise: 4:08 pm

Wednesday, August 26 – National Dog Day & Women's Equality Day & World Painted Dog Day

Thursday, August 27 – Just Because Day & National Cinema Day & World Rock Scissors Paper Day

Night Sky, 8/27: Partial Lunar Eclipse (96.2%) Visible North and South American Peaks 11:12 pm CDT.

A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar. The nurse orders a Bloody Mary, the doctor orders a rum and coke, and the anti-vaxxer gets preventable polio. / I have a great vaccination joke; but you probably won't get it.

..........And why do we keep finding faults in everything we do….......Kenny Rogers …..Every Time Two Fools Collide

2) Older adults make up 18%-19% of the population; that's around 62 million people.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Men watch sports and think, “Man, I wish I could do that. Women watch murder mysteries for the same reason. --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Moonbeam: Over time, you accumulate a lot of life material. --Melvin Van Peebles

Gentle Ramble of the Week: I came across a blurb about Stephen Gaskin so I've been thinking about him and Ina, and the farm, and hippiedom at its best. Gaskin loved like a firehose of soft warm fuzzies. Whole rooms felt that love. Sitting in his bus with his family was what you wanted smoking weed to be but it never quite made it. The memory has remained with me for several days. Love like a velvet chainsaw. Love like a nerf steam roller. So soft, so strong.

Video of the Week: 43 seconds of Usain Bolt running so fast so gracefully https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1042132188532846

Stupidity isn't a virus, but it sure is spreading like one. --Stephen Hillenburg as Sandy

For her birthday I got my anti-vaxxer cousin a t-shirt with the word LIFE inside a forbidden circle on the back. / I'm not sure that Pfizer's COVID-19 vaccine will work, but it's worth a shot.

….......I'm so glad I stayed right here with you….......Kenny Rogers …..Through The Years

3) The median age in the US reached 39.4 years. This is up from 30 years in 1980.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Archaeologists working at the city of Pompeii Italy uncovered the house Keith Richards grew up in. --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Weird Word of the Week: Exulansis – the tendency to stop talking about an experience, emotion, or part of yourself because you realize others cannot fully understand it. https://www.thedictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/word/exulansis (Notice this address? The Dictionary Of Obscure Sorrows)

Dragon of the Week: Famous Dragons: Smaug

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean grease from clothes. Pour a can of Coca-Cola in the washing machine with your regular detergent and launder as usual. The sugars and phosphoric acid in the Real Thing break down the grease stains. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola3.html

No, there is no vaccine that protects you from anti-vaxxers. / I have absolute proof that vaccines aren't Bill Gates' method to control us. My partner had a flu shot yesterday and he still hates Microsoft teams,

….......Walk away from trouble if you can….......Kenny Rogers …..Coward Of The County

4) The US centenarian population (over 100 years)has reached nearly 89,000. A significant jump since the last census count.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Some people's two cents is why we got rid of pennies. –-avidreader8.sbsky

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Bubonicon 57 (21-23, Albuquerque, NM) Android and robots and droids, Oh AI https://www.bubonicon.com/

Spark of Joy the Week: Today I learned about a term called a "glimmer". Which is the opposite of a trigger. Glimmers are those moments in your day that make you feel joy, happiness, peace, or gratitude. Once you train your brain to be on the lookout for glimmers, these tiny moments will appear more and more. Glimmers --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery ~~Ross Gay wrote a book about it called Book Of Delights. I have read it and it is, in fact, delightful. In one of delights he talks about pleasant exchanges with total strangers. ...exchanging jokes over the headline in the tabloid while in line at the grocery or a comment about the new window display as you wait at a stop light. He kept track of a daily delight for a year and published a bunch of them.

He's an anti-vaxxer, yet complains when he gets rabies. / Rushing vaccine safety tests is a very bad idea. Nobody likes premature inoculation.

….......Know when to walk away, know when to run….......Kenny Rogers …..The Gambler

5) There are about 81 older men for every 100 older women. It is up from 71 men/100 women in 2001.

Protest Sign of the Week: America Should Not Have To Protect Democracy From The President. --Lawrence, KS

Better Protest Sign of the Week: We Are All On The Decoy Plane --Submitted by jm of ks

Quote of the Week: The Future is certain. It is the past that is unpredictable. --Pieter-Dirk Uys

Final Funniest Things I Read of the Week: The wind blows freely through empty minds. --Ken Voska / When life hands you lemons, learn to juggle. --Eaton Kittrell

Today's Peace of History: August 21, 1998: Samuel Bowers, the 73-year-old former Imperial Wizard of the White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, was convicted in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, of ordering a firebombing that killed civil rights activist Vernon Dahmer 32 years before. Bowers had also been instrumental in the killing of three other civil rights workers in Philadelphia, Mississippi for which he was never charged.

You're an anti-vaxxer? Isn't that the same as an anti-facts-er? / Did you hear the joke about mosquitos? It's ma'larious.

........How can we be wrong….......Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton …..Islands In The Stream

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, August 21, 2026: Immuned ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Perfect happiness is a beautiful sunset, the giggle of a grandchild, the first snowfall. It's the little things that make happy moments, not the grand events. Joy comes in sips, not gulps. --Sharon Draper

Cost of War: Pentagon Spending 8/20/26: $903,637,921,457 That's nineteen billion, six hundred and seventy-one million, nine hundred, seventy-eight thousand, eight hundred and seventy-six dollars this week.

Pentagon Spending 8/13/26: $883,965,942,581

Pentagon Spending 8/6/26: $864,530,913,011

Pentagon Spending 8/1/26: $847,776,457,111

You are not an observer, you are a participant. --Thich Nhat Hanh Being Peace

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Measles in the US: August: 2566 confirmed cases (335 new cases)

July: 2231 confirmed cases (158 new cases)

June: 2073 confirmed cases (231 new cases)

May: 1,842 confirmed cases (94 new cases)

April: 1,748 confirmed cases. (386 new cases)

March: 1,362 confirmed cases.

In the entire year 2010 there were only 63 confirmed cases. https://www.cdc.gov/measles/data-research/index.html

No one can change a person, but someone can be the reason for that person to change. --Stephend Hillenburg as Spongebob

Famous Last Words: With all thy Greatness, and thy Coldness too. Hymn to the Moon by Mary Wortley Montague who died on August 21^st 1762

..........For all the joy we share….......Kenny Rogers …..Goodbye

Two things that never grow old: Jokes about anti-vaxxers and their children. / Getting a pertussis shot sets your immune system to whoop ass.

May Peace heal your heart

And Joy cure you soul

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Hound Dog ePistle

Famous First Words: An act to provide for the general welfare... Preamble Social Security Act (H.R. 7260)

It's Elvis Week!! (8-16) It's 1 for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready, 4 for sales, 5 for customer service, and 6 to hear these options again.  I have an idea for a chain of Elive Steakhouses for people who love meat tender.

..........The “he” is always lower case.........Steve Martin & the Stone Canyon Rangers …..Atheists Don't Have No Songs

A government which deliberately enacts injustice, and persists in it, will at length ever become the laughingstock of the world. --Henry David Thoreau

It is a muggy Friday morning (relative humidity 79%). The sky is partly cloudy but the uncloudy parts are not a clear deep blue. Instead they are hazy and very pale. No breeze is apparent on the cheek and only the tiniest willow branches are moving. A small army of squirrels (4-6) are in the backyard eating sunflower seeds and peanuts and chasing each other around, swishing tails and making squeaking noises. They also banged the metal water bowl to alert me that it has no water in it. Puck, meanwhile, is asleep under my desk snoring and snorting. Guard dogging is not in his job description. I'm in great shape, afterall, I am sipping my doctored decaf and writing to you. Life can't get much better than that.

Hope your weekend shines bright ahead, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book. --Terry Pratchett

Whatever This Is Of The Week: “War Profiteer” used to be an insult. Eric Trump and Don Jr. rebranded it. Now, they're calling it “patriotic capitalism”. Since their father took office and started a war, companies they've backed have pulled in $3.2 billion in government business – with the right to bid exclusively on up to$200 billion more. In case you were wondering why the war is taking longer than the “4 to 6 weeks” felon in chief projected... --Submitted by FNOG

Elvis discovered a dinosaur fossil at Graceland. He dubbed it the Elvisaurus.  Elvis likes his martinis all shook up.

..........It says sprocket not socket..........Steve Martin …..Let's Get Small

Trivia Questions: Happy National Lizard Day

1. How many unique lizard species make their home in the United States?

2. How many US lizards are venomous?

3. Which US lizard shoots blood from its eyes?

4. Which US lizard can run on its back legs?

5. What is the most common lizard found in the US?

Big Hello: Na nga def – Wolof (Senegal) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I just found out that it's “up to your family” whether a female is buried with a bra on or not. I'm just warning anyone in my family now, if you bury me with a bra on, I will haunt every one of you for the rest of your lives!!!! --Alondra E Adevedo --Submitted by aakb of kc

Image of the Week: I was cleaning out some computer files and came across the last estate sale pictures. This is 4 Mugs 2020

I don't always listen to Elvis Presley but when I do so do my neighbors.  When Lindsey Graham got to heaven he asked if he could meet Elivs and was told that Elvis was still alive and living quietly in Peoria.

..........Kisses like Pop Rocks..........Steve Martin …..Angel In Flip-Flops

Moonbeam: Religion was nearly dead because there was no longer real belief in future life; but something was struggling to take its place – service – social service – the ants creed, the bees creed. --John Galsworthy

Blasphemy of the Week: Caption for a picture of Jesus feeding the 4 or 5000: And so, he passed out loaves to the hungry. And fishes for those who were low-carbing or needed to get Omega-3 for their hair.

Coffee Joke of the Week: Coffee: Turning water into hope.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I watched three joggers outside, and it inspired me to get up and close the curtains. --Submitted by jm of ks

You know, Elf-is Presley is Santa's favorite 50s singer.  Elvis once worked in a bakery. He was known for his hunk o' burning dough.

..........Who knew Ivan was a czar..........Steve Martin & Paul McCartney …..Best Love

1) Over 50 native lizard species live in the US, mostly in the warm southern and western states.

Almanac: It is Friday, 8/14/26. The moon was new last Wednesday (8/12) and is in Virgo. Today is Military Marriage Day, National Lizard Day, National Navajo Code Talkers Day, Romance Awareness Day, Social Security Day, St. Maximillian Kolbe Day - the patron saint of Ham Radio operators, Victory in Japan (V-J) Day, and World Calligraphy Day. Because this is the third weekend it is also Kool-Aid Days.

Among those born on this day were Doc Holliday (1851), Ernest Seton (1860), John Glasworthy (1867), John Ringling North (1903), Alice Ghostley (1923), Buddy Greco (1926), Lina Wertmüller (1928), David Crosby (1941), Steve Martin (1945), Susan St James (1946), Danielle Steel (1947), Gary Arson (1950), Jackée (1957), Magic Johnson (1959), Susan Olson (1961), and Halle Berry (1966).

On August fourteenth Construction began on the Cologne Cathedral (1248), Thoreau was jailed for tax resistance (1846), The Oregon Territory was created (1848), Construction was completed on the Cologne Cathedral (1880), France began to require driving tests and licenses (1893), The US invaded Nicaragua (1912), Social Security became law (1935), The first night game was played at Comiskey Park (1939), India was granted self determination within the British empire (1947), Stephen Stills was arrested on cocaine possession (1970), and Pete Rose (Phillies) broke Hank Aaron's record (1982).

Night Sky, 8/14: Venus is at its greatest angular distance from the Sun and shines brightly in the west after sunset.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Dessert For Breakfast Day

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Andrew Tate: I don't sleep with vaccinated women. Stephjane: Yay, the vaccines are working. --Submitted by Catsonacouch

This Week: Saturday, August 15- Best Friends Day & Chef Appreciation Day & National Honey Bee Day

Sunday, August 16- National Roller Coaster Day & Surveillance Day & World Helicopter Day

Night Sky, 8/16: Jupiter, Mercury, Mars, Uranus, Saturn, Neptune, and Betelgeuse) are visible in the east pre-dawn.

Monday, August 17- Black Cat Appreciation Day & National Nonprofit Day & National Thrift Shop Day

Tuesday, August 18- Bad Poetry Day & Mail Order Catalog Day & Serendipity Day

Night Sky, : Sunrise: 6:33 am Sunset: 8:18 pm 13 hours and 45 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 8:42 am Moonset: 9:20 pm

Wednesday, August 19- Aviation Day & National Potato Day & Talk Like JarJar Day & World Humanitarian Day

Night Sky, 8/19: The moon enters its first Quarter on the cusp of Scorpio/Sagittarius.

Thursday, August 20- International Day of Medical Transporters & National Radio Day & World Mosquito Day

There is an Egyptian Elvis impersonator down at the comedy club. He calls himself Amal Shookup.  If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. --Johnny Carson

..........I would have gone with you..........Steve Martin & Edie Brickell …..Back In The Day

2) There is only one venomous lizard native to the US, the Gila Monsters (Heloderma suspectum). They chew to push venom through grooves in their teeth. Their bite is painful but rarely deadly.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Kobach insists he's against communism despite getting repeatedly owned by the public.

Moonbeam: The agreement of this law with nature will be better seen by the repetition of experiments than by a long explanation. — Hans Christian Oersted

Video of the Week: It's National Navajo Code Talkers Day! Here a very good description: https://www.history.navy.mil/research/library/online-reading-room/title-list-alphabetically/n/code-talkers.html

Fun Facts of the Week: Navajos could encode, transmit, and decode a three-line English message in 20 seconds. Machines of the time required 30 minutes to perform the same job. In 1942, there were about 50,000 Navajo tribe members. As of 1945, about 540 Navajos served as Marines. From 375 to 420 of those trained as code talkers; the rest served in other capacities.

Extra Video of the Week: Video with Bette Midler: All You Fascists Bound to Lose (2:30)

All men recognize the right of revolution; that is, the right to refuse allegiance to, and to resist, the government, when its tyranny or its inefficiency are great and unendurable. --Henry David Thoreau

What's the difference between Elvis and a smart politician? Elvis has been sighted.  Elvis sang so many sad songs, my mom used to call him Elvis Depressly.

..........Stop this foolish mission..........Steve Martin & Martin Short …..Playing With The Big Boys

3) The North American Horned Lizard can squirt a stream of blood from the corners of its eyes to confuse hungry predators.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Remember to close all parentheses. We're not paying to air condition the entire paragraph. https://www.facebook.com/MXJXL

Weird Word of the Week: Jentacular – pretaining to breakfast https://www.quora.com/What-does-the-word-jentacular-mean

Dragon of the Week: Barcelona, Spain

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make a funnel. Cut a clean, empty two-liter Coca Cola bottle in half and use the capless top half. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola3.html

How many Elvis impersonators does it take to screw in a light bulb. 1 for the money but 2 for the show.  “I might join you later” - Translation: You have a better chance of seeing Elvis riding a unicorn than you have of seeing me.

...........Be gentle and peaceful each day..........Steve Martin …..Grandmother's Song

4) The Collared Lizard found across the western US states can run fast on just their hind legs when chasing food or fleeing danger.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Philosophy is basically thinking about thinking, which sounds like a waste of time because it is, although a philosopher might argue that that time they've wasted never existed in the first place. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Long Island Who Convention 2026 (14-16, Holtsville, NY) For over a decade... https://longislanddoctorwho.com/

Questions of the Week: 1) Would Republicans support the SAVE Act if it applied to guns? 2) How many countries tax their citizens so they can send money to the United States?

Spark of Joy of the Week: Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. --John Kenneth Galbraith

Crocs, Inc is putting out an Elvis shoe called Jailhouse Crocs.  In the army Elvis was assigned to look for Suspicious Mines.

..........It's a bitch sometimes..........Steve Martin & Kelly Clarkson …..I hate Love

5) The Fence Lizard (genus sceloporus ) is the most widely distributed and commonly encountered native lizard.

Protest Signs of the Week: sign1) Perverts Support Trump sign2) Divorce Your MAGA Husband

Quote of the Week: Brevity is the soul of lingerie. --Dorothy Parker

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: But how do you know you've got power unless you abuse it? https://www.facebook.com/christopher.monley.7

Today's Peace of History: August 14, 1980: After months of labor turmoil, more than 16,000 Polish workers seized control of the Lenin Shipyards in Gdansk. They helped form Solidarnosc (Solidarity), the first independent labor union anywhere in the Soviet bloc, as the Warsaw Pact nations were known. It helped unite the broad political, social, and religious opposition to the Communist government.

What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley.  I heard they are making an x-rated movie about Elvis. It's called 50 shades of Blue Suede.

..........Will a baby get tried for matricide..........Steve Martin …..Which Of The Pickwick Triplets Did It

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, August 14, 2026: Hound Dog ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: If you see the magic in a fairy tale, you can face the future. --Danielle Steel

Cost of War: Pentagon Spending 8/13/26: $883,965,942,581

That's nineteen billion, Four hundred and thirty-five million, Twenty-nine thousand, Five hundred and seventy dollars this week. ~~Three billion more than last week...where did it go?

Pentagon Spending 8/6/26: $864,530,913,011

Pentagon Spending 8/1/26: $847,776,457,111

Peace cannot be bullied into existence. --Ali Jarbawi,

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

I say, break the law. Let your life be a counter friction to stop the machine. --Henry David Thoreau

Famous Last Words: Hail Mary --St Maksymilian Maria Kolbe executed by Nazis 8/14/1941

..........How'd you get so funky (Funky Tut)..........Steve Martin …..King Tut

Elvis' last greatest hit was the bathroom floor.  What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today? Clawing at the inside of his coffin.

May Peace sing your melody

And Joy pick up your harmony

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Go ePistle Go

Famous First Words: It's alright. You can come out now. –-Billie Burke as Glinda the Good Witch in The Wizard of Oz

August is National Cheerleading Safety Month. Cheerleader: I Do My Own Stunts ѦѦ My dog thinks he's a cheerleader. He's a pompomeranian.

..........all the people, living life in peace.........John Lennon …..Imagine

There are no warlike people, just warlike leaders. --Ralph Bunche

When I got up, less than an hour ago, the world was a funny color. I don't know how to describe it – yellow, perhaps, or a non-color like glowing or dawn. Now the sky is totally hidden by clouds. Wind is picking up and waving the pom pom tops of the willows like the game is tied in the last few seconds. The neighbors hammack is nearly horizontal like a flag. Predictions expect a little rain for an hour, starting soon, and stopping well before noon. Everything is green, not just the tree leaves and the regularly watered lawns, but everything – surviving hollyhocks, unwatered grass, baby trees. In fact only the tall stalks of catnip seem dry and done. The rabbit and the three squirrels on the back patio nibbling away seem to be watching the weather, looking towards the sky, sniffing the air. It makes for a morning of motion and excitement. But not nearly as exciting as writing to you.

Hope your weekend is worth cheering about, ePistlers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You know what they say, if you weird enough people out, eventually you're bound to weird a few of them in. --thisoneOverhere https://www.facebook.com/JonathanEdwardDurham

Herkimer was so ugly he was a cheerleader at an online university. ѦѦ Well, she lead her résumé with the fact that she was head cheerleader in high school.

..........When peace like a river attendeth my way.........Spafford & Bliss …..It Is Well With My Soul

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to the Peace Bridge!

1. From where and/or to where does the Peace Bridge go?

2. How long did it take to build the Peace Bridge?

3. Which officials attended the dedication?

4. What was special about the historic broadcast of the dedication?

5. Is the Peace Bridge a toll bridge?

Big Hello: Hej – Westrobothnian (Sweden) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's not gray hair that reveals my age. It's my use of complete sentences and punctuation when I text. --Submitted by rl of ca

Image of the Week: 2 bunnies & 2 squirrels – eventually there were 3 rabbits, 4 squirrels and 3 birds

Bella was so good at cheerleading that she set up a personal cheerleader business. People hired her to cheer for them at work. ѦѦ Cheerleader: Warning I Might Flip

..........Put a song in our heart..........Eddie Money …..Peace In Our Time

Moonbeam: To die, to sleep, to pass into nothingness, what does it matter. Everything is an illusion. --Mata Hari

Blasphemy of the Week: Every religion has three things: special hats, suspiciously specific snacks, and one guy who has completely misunderstood the assignment. --Submitted by Blasphemy Memes

Coffee Joke of the Week: Coffee: I'm awake. That's as far as this miracle goes.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In the near future, AI is going to tell a woman that she is wrong and to calm down...and that, my friends, will be the end of AI. --Aunty Acid --Submitted by cp of ks

I was born to Lead Cheers. I am forced to work. ѦѦ The town's high school basketball team only bothered to show up for the cheerleaders.

..........A light to guide you through the dark.........The Eagles …..I Wish You Peace

1) The Peace Bridge is an international crossing from Buffalo, NY to Fort Erie, Ontario. It spans 5,800 feet across the Niagara River.

Almanac: It is Friday, August 7, 2026. The moon entered its last quarter on Wednesday (8/5) and is in Gemini. Today is Lighthouse Day, Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day, Professional Speakers Day, Purple Heart Day, and US Postal Inspection Service Day. Because it is the first Friday in August it is also Braham Pie Day aka Homemade Pie Day, International Beer Day, National Water Balloon Day, and Tomboy Tools Day. Because it is the first full Weekend it is Twins Day.

Among those born on this day were Contantius II ( 317), Georg Stiernhielm (1598), Mata Hari (1876), Billie Burke (1885), Louis Leakey (1903), Ralph Bunche (1904), Stan Freberg (1926), Jenny Craig (1932), Jerry Pournelle (1933), Helen Caldicott (1938), Garrison Keillor (1942), Robert Mueller (1944), David Duchovny (1960), and Charlize Theron (1975).

On August seventh Columbus arrived in the Caribbean (1498), Kepler's mother was arrested for witchcraft (1620), The US War Department was established (1789), Potatoes were first planted in Hawaii (1820), The Peace Bridge (US & Canada) was dedicated (1927), The first computer chess tournament was held (1970), and The Apollo 15 returned to Earth (1971).

Night Sky, 8/7: If you can get away from light pollution, the Milky Way is beautiful in the southern sky.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The boys meet R2D2

This Week: Saturday, August 8 – Dalek Day, International Cat Day & Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night

Night Sky, 8/8: The pre-dawn planets are Mercury & Venus & Jupiter.

Sunday, August 9 – Bagel Day & Book Lovers Day & Smokey Bear's Birthday & Global Sleep Under the Stars Night

Monday, August 10 – Agent Orange Awareness Day & Paul Bunyan Day & Smithsonian Day & World Lion Day

Night Sky, 8/10: Sunrise: 6:29 am Sunset: 8:23 pm 13 hours and 53 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 4:58 am Moonset: 7:56 pm

Tuesday, August 11 – National Hip Hop Day & Popsicle Day & Global Kinetic Sand Day & World Steelpan Day

Night Sky, 8/11: 1^st night of the Perseid meteor shower peak. 50-100 meteors/hour.

Wednesday, August 12 – Middle Child Day & Milkman Day & Vinyl Records Day & World Elephant Day

Night Sky, 8/12: 2^nd night of the Perseid meteor shower peak. 50-100 meteors/hour.

Thursday, August 13 – International Lefthanders Day & International Wolf Day & National Prosecco Day

Night Sky, 8/13: Final night of the Perseid meteor shower peak.

Talk about spirit, Hogwarts has an All Ghost Cheerleading Squad. ѦѦ Cheerleaders spell a lot. Maybe they should cheer at the Spelling Bee. Wait, would that be cheating?

..........Give me peace on earth.........George Harrison …..Give Me Love

2) The Peace Bridge groundbreaking began on 8/17/1925 and the bridge officially opened June 1, 1927. So, it took just under 2 years to build. It was dedicated on 8/7/1927.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: People blame the devil for everything, Sometimes Satan didn't hide your keys. Sometimes you put them in the refrigerator while holding a yogurt. --Submitted by Blasphemy Memes

Moonbeam: Superstition shall cease; the madness of sacrifices shall be abolished. --Constantius II

Fun Facts of the Week: The Oyster Awards were a satirical creation by Consumer Reports launched in the mid-2000 aughts to shame products with the hardest-to-open, most frustrating plastic clamshell packaging. The awards were named after the hard-to-crack mollusk to highlight extreme "wrap rage" . Oral-B Sonic Complete Toothbrush Kit (2007 Winner): Took over three minutes to open with a box cutter, leaving a table full of sharp plastic shards because scissors could not grip the tight seams. Bratz Sisterz Dolls (2007 Contender): Required nearly 8.5 minutes to open, featuring an astounding 50 separate restraints including rubber bands, tape, and molded plastic covers.

Video of the Week: Ralph Bunche was the first black man to receive a Nobel Peace Prize: Here's his story on MSNBC (5:00)

Horrible Pun of the Week: Can a bad altarnator cause the Catholic converter to go bad? --Submitted by Wittenburg Door

It is only by patient, persistent, undismayed effort...that peace can be won. --Ralph Bunche

If all the cheerleaders were laid end to end I wouldn't be surprised. --Thanks to Dorothy Parker ѦѦ Jewels and Jim were flyers on the cheer squad at my high school and they both became astronauts because they had already spent all that time floating around in space.

..........Dreamin' about the world as one.........Yusuf aka Cat Stevens …..Peace Train

3) The dedication was High-profile with US Vice President, Charls G Dawes, British Prime Minister, Stanley Baldwin, Canadian Prime Minister, W L Mackenzie King, and the Prince of Wales (Future Edward VIII) Prince George attending.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When am I next free, you ask? I'm forever incarcerated in my own personal flesh prison so I am never truly “free”, but I don't have plans on Wednesday. --Submitted by MMS

Weird Word of the Week: Cornobble (v) – to slap or beat another person with a fish. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/cornobble

Dragon of the Week: Mosaic and artist

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean road film from a car windshield. Open a can or bottle of Coca-Cola, pour the Real Thing over the grease and grime on the windshield, being careful not to let the Coca-Cola come in contact with the paint. Then rinse clean with water. (It's okay to drink but not to touch the paint?????) https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola3.html

Cheerleader: Able to count and spell at an early age. ѦѦ They used to call him Banana because he was the only one that could do the splits.

...........Allen Ginsberg, Hare Krishna.........The Plastic Ono Band …..Give Peace A Chance

4) The Peace Bridge dedication was simultaneously transmitted by radio in both countries, marking one of the earliest international joint radio broadcasts.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Not only are we denying you tenure – we're closing your department and setting the entire university of fire just to be safe. --Elizabeth Boleman-Herring

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Rebel Scum Con 2026 (7-9, Frisco, TX) Don't miss your chance to be part of the action.

Whatever This Is of the Week: Well, I found a CD player and the CD marked ePistle 07 was blank.

Spark of Joy of the Week: If you smoke weed, you get high. If you read books, you get educated. If you do both you get …... Highly Educated. –-https://www.facebook.com/TheHobbitHoleAtArchInn

After every game every cheerleader would come to the Cozy Cafe and say, “Give me a Tea!” ѦѦ It feels like if you know ten cheerleaders, twelve of them have a “worlds” ring from Orlando.

..........Let's get together and feel right.........Bob Marley & the Wailers …..One Love

5) After several years of paying one-way tolls already, new toll facilities were installed on the Canadian side as of January 20, 2002, the Peace Bridge became the first E-Z Pass facility outside the United States. The average car toll is $4. There are no fees for entering the US.

Protest Sign of the Week: Sorry For Being Weird. This Is My First Dictatorship

Quote of the Week: Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian. --Herman Melvinne (b. 8/1/1819)

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Breaking: A brand new “Christian men's gym” in Georgia that bans women so pious men can have “lust-free workouts” lasted just 6 days before three men were caught “violating Leviticus in the locker room.” --Ohwoisme https://www.facebook.com/groups/288544190546353/user/100011096044205/

Today's Peace of History: August 7, 1995: Four experienced Plowshares activists, Michele Naar-Obed, Erin Sieber and Rick Sieber, hammered and poured their blood on the USS Greeneville, a fast-attack submarine in production at the Newport News, Virginia, shipyard.

What do you think of classifying cheerleading as a sport? Fine with me, now that “you throw like a girl” has been discredited. ѦѦ If cheerleading were easy, they'd call it football.

..........Come on, people, now smile on your brother.........The Youngbloods …..Get Together

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, August 7, 2026: Go ePistle Go. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Teachers, I believe, are the most responsible and important members of society because their professional efforts affect the fate of the earth. --Helen Caldicott

Cost of War: Pentagon Spending 8/6/26: $864,530,913,011 ~~Sixteen billion, Seven hundred and fifty-four million, Four hundred and fifty-five thousand, Nine hundred dollars spent in one week.

Pentagon Spending 8/1/26: $847,776,457,111

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. --Indira Gandhi

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

To make our way, we must have firm resolve, persistence, and tenacity. We must gear ourselves to work hard all the way. We can never let up. --Ralph Bunche

Famous Last Words: ...heretofore established by the United States Congress' assembled. --Act Creating the Department of War 8/7/1898

..........A time for peace, I swear it's not too late.........The Byrds …..Turn! Turn! Turn!

Cheerleader: I don't need an hour long game to prove what I do is a sport. Give me two minutes and thirty second and I'll blow your mind. ѦѦ Cheerleader: jumps 20 feet in the air, defies gravity, does 10 backflips, defeats Voldemort, comes back to a perfect landing while fireworks go off in the background. Me: Falls on my face trying to put my socks on.

May Peace surround you

And Joy enfold you

prairie mama

christine

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