Winged ePistle

Famous First Words: William Stoner entered the University... John Williams opening line from Stoner published 5/8/65

Happy Flight Attendant Day! Did you know: The flight attendant smile has been fooling passengers since 1912. ₰₰ Most people who instantly dislike their flight attendant do it to save time later.

..........How many roads must a man walk down.........Bob Dylan …..Blowin' In The Wind (recorded 1961)

The women of the world will dominate politics, some day, and you mustn't be too old-fashioned in your notions to join the procession of progress. --L Frank Baum

Christine Update: This week my dermatologist said I have squamous cell carcinoma. There is one less serious kind of skin cancer, but this one rarely spreads to other body parts unless it is left untreated for a while. They will remove the rest of it by Mohs surgery. My date is July 14. Waiting for the results of a biopsy was a brand new experience for me. It is kind of like living in two worlds at once – Schrodinger's world. I'm glad I have the results and I'm glad I don't need radiation or chemo. I was seriously considering not doing either of those if that was the only treatment. Whew!

It is another breezy Friday morning. The sky is covered in clouds that look like they might rain later, but not now. The tree limbs are thrashing about, dancing with the wind and sounding like nature partying. The city is getting ready to send newly educated minds into the world to find jobs and improve our existence. Spring has, indeed, busted out all over and is showing off its new spring coats and colors. A small gathering of squirrels and sparrows are chirping and whatever that is the squirrels do outside my back door. I raise a cup of decaf to them and to the beautiful world they inhabit. Cheers!

Hope your weekend flies like the eagle, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Happy Mothers Day, Mom! Thanks for the womb and board. https://www.facebook.com/TheIndianHillsCommunityCenterAndSign

Frida the flight attendant used to introduce herself as Unexpected Turbulence. ₰₰ Oh, stewardess, what are we flying over right now? “The planet Earth.”

..........You sit back and watch when the death count gets higher.........Bob Dylan …..Masters of War (recorded 1963)

Trivia Questions: It's National Pizza Party Day !!!!!

1. How many books on pizza does the Library of Congress have?

2. How many billion pizzas are sold in the US each year?

3. What is the second most popular pizza topping in the US? (Pepperoni is first, obviously),

4. Where is the annual Pizza Expo held?

5. Who was the first Pizza Delivery person?

Big Hello: āssālam 'alaikum – Urdu (Pakistan & India) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My damn car was on E! I put $20 in now it's on E+. --Submitted by RHOZ

Image of the Week: Mad Greek Mother's Day Roses

Warning of the Week: Boy, I say, boy, you're about to exceed the limitations of my medication. https://www.facebook.com/groups/2167113653385149/

Question of the Week: Wonder if I can teach the self cleaning oven how to clean the rest of the kitchen? --Jack Black

Fred the flight attendant always asked passengers what they wanted for lunch and whether it was for here or to go. ₰₰ When announcing the meal choices, Spaghetti with Plane pasta sauce was the favorite.

..........Sure was going to be rough.........Bob Dylan …..Tangled Up In Blue (recorded 1975)

Moonbeam: A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke – and that the joke is oneself. --Clifton Fadiman

Blasphemy of the Week: muffins are unburdened with knowledge; they are innocent, they are free and wild. Cupcake however began wearing clothes after becoming aware of their nakedness. --comradeella --Submitted by Wittenburg Door

Coffee Joke of the Week: A job in the coffee industry does have a lot of perks.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The easiest way to understand what type of church someone goes to, ask “do your pastors dress like hippies, rappers, businessmen, or wizards? --Ify Nsoha --Submitted by MMS

How often do planes crash? Just once. ₰₰ Flight Attendant: A person who can put up with a lot of hooey and look damned good doing it.

..........Everybody's gonna want a dose.........Bob Dylan …..The Mighty Quinn (recorded 1970)

1) The Library of Congress does not have an exact, publicly listed count of books exclusively about pizza. However, it holds a vast collection of over 40,000 cookbooks, with pizza-related titles.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 15, 2026. The moon will be new tomorrow (5/16) and is in Taurus. The United Nations has declared this International Day of Families. Today is also Flight Attendant Day, National Chocolate Chip Day, International Conscientious Objectors Day, International Kangaroo Care Awareness Day, International MPS Awareness Day, National Slider Day, National Trauma Survivors Day, National Tuberous Sclerosis Day, Peace Officer Memorial Day, Straw Hat Day, and World Orthodontic Health Day. Because it is the Third Friday it is also Endangered Species Day, International Virtual Assistants Day, NASCAR Day, National Bike to Work Day, National Defense Transportation Day, National Pizza Party Day, and World Eel Day. And all weekend is Morel Mushroom Weekend.

Among those born on this day were Claudio Monteverdi (1567), Lyman Frank Baum (1856), Pierre Curie (1859), Bessie Hillman (1889), Kathernie Anne Porter (1890), Richard J. Daley (1902), Clifton Fadiman (1904), Joseph Cotten (1905), Richard Avedon (1923), Jasper Johns (1930), Chazz Palminteri (1946), George Brett (1953), Emmitt Smith (1969), Ray Lewis (1975), and David Krumholtz (1978).

On May fifteenth Anne Boleyn was accused of adultery (1536), Mary, Queen of Scots, married the Earl of Bothwell (1567), Kepler discovered the harmonics law (1618), Massachusetts enacted the first copyright law (1672), the Peace Treaty of Paris was signed (France & Sardinia, 1796), John the Baptist ordained Joseph Smith (1829), the Department of Agriculture was created (1862), the National Woman Suffrage Association formed (1869), Kappa Alpha Psi incorporated (1911), Mickey Mouse first appeared (1928), Nylon stockings go on sale (1940), Rationing of gasoline began (1942), the Warsaw ghetto uprising ended (1943), the Beach Boys released Carl and the Passions: So Tough (1972), the Harlem Globetrotters appeared on Gilligan's Island (1981), Bob Dylan was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame (1982), and Nils Lofgren replaced Steve Van Zant in Springsteen's E Street Band.

Night Sky, 5/15: Mercury becomes visible by the end of the month, quickly increasing its elongation from the Sun.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Dad and the boys in the extreme outfield of a nearly empty ballpark.

This Week: Saturday, May 16 – International Day of Living In Peace & National Auctioneers Day & National Piercing Day & World Fiddle Day

Night Sky, 5/16: A double shadow transit occurs May 15/16, as Europa and Ganymede’s shadows cross the jovian disk overnight.

Sunday, May 17 – Ride A Unicycle Day & Rural Life Sunday & Take Your Parents To The Playground Day

Monday, May 18 – International Museum Day & Buy A Musical Instrument Day & Visit or Relatives Day

Night Sky, 5/18: A lovely crescent Moon stands 2° north of Venus. Watch as the sky darkens and the earthshine on the Moon becomes more evident.

Tuesday, May 19 – May Ray Day & Accounting Day & National Scooter Day

Night Sky 5/19: Venus crosses into Gemini and stands some 20° west of Jupiter, while the crescent Moon has moved up to meet Jupiter, situated in the middle of Gemini about 7° from the bright planet.

Wednesday, May 20 - Emergency Medical Services For Children Day & EMS Day & National Rescue Dog Day & World Bee Day

Thursday, May 21 – National Memo Day & Shavuot & End of the World Prediction Party

Night Sky 5/21: Sunrise: 6:03 am Sunset: 8:31 pm (14 hours and 27 minutes of daylight) Moonrise: 11:41 am Moonset: 11:16 pm

The best part of being a flight attendant has to be when you walk the aisle saying “trash” to everyone's face. ₰₰ The flight attendant asked me if I wanted a drink. I asked, “what are the options?” She said, “Yes or no”

..........Oh, the flowers of indulgence and the weeds of yesteryear.........Bob Dylan …..Every Grain Of Sand (recorded 19821)

2) Around 3 billion pizzas are sold each year in the US.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: JD Vance found 196,000 dead people that are still on Medicaid. Community Note: Dead people are unable to unenroll from Medicaid, because they are dead. Since they are dead, they lack the ability to use Medicaid. Being enrolled in Medicaid and billing Medicaid are not the same thing. --Submitted by gr of oh

Moonbeam: Do something, do something to that, and then do something to that. --Jasper Johns

Fun Fact of the Week: Chocolate chips were invented in 1937 by Ruth Graves Wakefield, who added chopped-up Nestlé semi-sweet chocolate bars to cookie dough, expecting them to melt. Instead, they held their shape, creating the iconic "morsel" that Nestlé later mass-produced to meet demand.

Video of the Week: Bette Midler singing All You Fascists Bound To Lose (with updated lyrics) https://youtu.be/uBj57ivPsxQ (2:30)

It's a man's world, and men can have it. --Kathrine Anne Porter

On a flight from Dublin, Ireland to Boston, the flight attendant made an announcement: "Due to a terrible mistake by the airline's caterer, there are only 80 dinners instead of the 225 required to feed all the passengers on board. To fix the situation, we are offering unlimited drinks to anybody who is willing to give up their meal". Two hours before landing, another announcement was made. "There are still 80 meals available if anybody is hungry". ₰₰ The football player said to the flight attendant, “put me in coach”.

..........In Jersey, anything's legal as long as you don't get caught.........Traveling Wilburys with Bob Dylan …..Tweeter And The Monkey Man (Recorded 1988)

3) Sausage is the second most ordered pizza topping in the US. Mushrooms are third and extra cheese is fourth.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61563097533852

Weird Word of the Week: Noctilucent: shining at night https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/noctilucent

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Give a freshly waxed dance floor more traction. Mop the floor with Coca-Cola and let dry to add a sticky coating that prevents the dancers from sliding across a slippery dance floor. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola2.html

Second Blasphemy of the Week: America has never been a Christian nation. White Christians have been so busy being white they've never gotten around to being Christian. https://www.facebook.com/EspirituChicano

The flight attendant landed this one on us yesterday. We had just landed on the runway and the flight attendant announced over the speaker. "Hey folks...um yeah, sorry about that rough landing... ...wasn't the captain's fault, ...definitely wasn't my fault, ...it was the asphalt." ₰₰ Do flight attendants prefer their bagels plane?

...........Let the wind blow low, let the wind blow high.........Bob Dylan …..Under The Red Sky (recorded 1990)

4) Las Vegas hosts the Annual Pizza Expo. (Sorry not open to the public)

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm gonna stop calling them MAGA White Evangelicals and start calling them Pulp Fiction Christians. --Mary Ann Bain

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Quantum-Con 4 (15-17, Plymouth, MN) ...a welcoming convention celebrating everything... https://quantum-con.org/

Insult of the Week: You soup fork.

Spark of Joy of the Week: Georgia Sea Otter Cam: https://www.georgiaaquarium.org/webcam/southern-sea-otter-webcam/

Nerd Word of the Week: Micturating: the act of passing urine or urinating, derived from the Latin micturire. It is frequently used in medical contexts. ...Disenfranchising Black people benefits Republicans because Black people vote for Democrats, and Roberts and his fellow party activists on the Court will delete nearly any law that stands in the way of that. The decision might as well have been copy-pasted from the lorem ipsum text. To adjust the saying somewhat, Roberts is micturating directly in our collective eye sockets and then saying “it isn’t raining at all, no sir, and frankly you’re very rude for even mentioning the word ‘wet.’” --Submitted by vr of 66

Henry Winkler sits down on an airplane. The flight attendant comes over and asks him if he would like free headphones. He responds “Sounds great. But it’s pronounced Fonz.” ₰₰ My flight attendant girlfriend just broke up with me. She said we were going in different directions.

..........Well, the devil's in the alley, mule's in the stall.........Bob Dylan …..Mississippi (Recorded 2001)

5) Future king David delivered bread, cheese and grains to his brothers on the battlefield and then hung around to murder Goliath. (I Samuel 17: 17-28) Scholars have decided this happened about 1015 BCE.

Protest Sign of the Week: Mothers Against Donald's Destruction

Bitter Protest Sign of the Week: Sundays 12 -1 63 Exasperating weeks of Fighting for Democracy

Chant of the Week: We don't care about UFOs; Trump is a pedophile, everybody knows!

Quote of the Week: You lost your muchness. You used to be much muchier. --The Mad Hatter Lewis Carroll

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If there's an idiot in power it means those who elected him are well represented. --Submitted by jm of ks

Today's Peace of History: May 15, 1935: The National Labor Relations Act was passed, recognizing workers' rights to organize unions and bargain collectively with their employers.

Another Today's Peace of History: May 15 since 1985: International Conscientious Objectors Day, established to honor those who leave or refuse to enter their country’s armed forces for reasons of principle.

Flight Attendant: Please don't forget to activate 'airplane mode' Me: Running around with my arms spread making airplane noises. ₰₰ A photon decides to go on a day trip to Vegas. When they went to board their plane, the flight attendant said "I'm sorry, did you forget your carry-on?" "No," said the photon, "I'm traveling light".

..........Those icy fingers up and down my spine.........Bob Dylan …..That Old Black Magic (recorded 2016)

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 15, 2026: Winged ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: A scientist in his laboratory is not only a technician, he is also a child placed before natural phenomena which impress him like a fairy tale. --Pierre Curie

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 5/14/26: $629,922,819,748 (19 billion, 384 million, 366 thousand, 852 dollars this week)

Pentagon Spending as of 5/07/26: $610,538,452,895

Pentagon Spending as of 5/01/26: $592,500,326,688

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/

Measles Cases in the US: In May there were 1,842 confirmed measles cases. (94 new cases this month) In April 2026 there were 1,748 confirmed measles cases. In March 2026 there were 1,362 confirmed cases. https://www.cdc.gov/measles/data-research/index.html ~~In the entire year 2010 there were only 63 confirmed cases.

... the political system is changing rapidly in this country, and we better realize that. The elephants or donkeys are not what younger people look to. They look at individual candidates' philosophy, and I think it's a different time and a different generation. --Richard M Daley

Famous Last Words: I must go; the fog is rising. --Emily Dickinson who died may 15^th 1886 of kidney failure.

..........Someday, everything is going to be different.........Bob Dylan …..When I Paint My Masterpiece (reissued 2025)

I was okay until the Klingon sitting next to me said to the flight attendant, “Today is a good day to fly”. ₰₰ Why did the flight attendant pass away? She was terminally ill.

May Peace warm your engines

And Joy cool your jets

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Toddlin' ePistle

Famous First Words: I dig a pygmy.. Opening intro of Let It Be, the Beatles last studio album

Happy Day Care Provider Day! I experienced a real nursery crime today. Someone broke in and stole all the Dr Seuss books at the Happy Times Childcare Center. §§ A toddler is like a blender without a lid.

..........what on earth is wrong with you?..........Robert Johnson …..Milkcow's Calf Blues

Political Freedom without economic equality is a pretense, a fraud, a lie; and the workers want no lying. --Mikhail Alexandrovich Bakunin

It is a gray Friday morning. The sky is thick with clouds, some white, some gray, a few moving under the denser cover. There is a slight breeze but the 61°F temperature is warm and fresh. Rain seems possible but not imminent. No bird song cheers the scene nor kisses the ear. Instead motor car sounds, both near and more distant, fill the air and bring to mind work and school and errands. I sit comfortably at my desk listening to Puck snoring. The coffee begins wake me up when I inhale that wonderful aroma and then tastes hot, creamy and delicious At last my favorite part of Friday mornings when my mind floods with thoughts of the ePistliers to whom I write...perhaps sitting at their desks or staring at their phones. Good morning to you all.

Hope your weekend is loving and caring and the best one this year, dear friends

First Funniest Things I Read of the Week: JD Vance is a fusion of every kid that vanished on the Wonka Factory Tour. --johnfugelsang / Oompa loompa doopety dope … Who f*cked a couch and murdered the Pope? --stevenhofstetter --Submitted by Catsonacouch

Cinco de Mayo Quote of the Week: I do not know the secret to happiness but I know I have never been unhappy in a Mexican restaurant.

One day I hope to be as savage as my toddler who just looked me in the eyes and said “uh oh” before snapping a toy in half. §§ Sign on the Daycare Center Door: Do Not Disturb! IT'S NAPTIME! You Wake 'em, You Take 'em

..........You got to please yourself..........Ricky Nelson …..Garden Party

Trivia Questions: Happy 149^th Birthday to the Westminster Dog Show!

1. Where was the first Westminster Dog Show held?

2. How many breeds participated in the first Westminster Dog Show (WDS)?

3. What breed has won the most Best In Show awards?

4. How many and/or which breeds were added in 2026?

5. About how many dogs participated in the 2025 WDS?

Big Hello: Copoдэ – Ulch (a Manchu-Tungus language spoken in Siberia.) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: J Edgar Boozer formerly known as Kash Patel.

Image of the Week: Happy Fair Trade Day (cartoon from the 19^th century)

My daycare changed their billing policy. Now we pay by the minute. §§ My toddler recently swallowed several plastic horses, but she's in stable condition.

.........Fell down on my knees..........Robert Johnson …..Crossroad

Moonbeam: Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time; and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in. --Harry S Truman

Blasphemy of the Week: A jealous lover of human liberty, deeming it the absolute condition of all that we admire and respect in humanity, I reverse the phrase of Voltaire, and say that, if God really existed, it would be necessary to abolish him. --Mikhail Bakunin

Coffee Joke of the Week: This coffee is so bad that when I pour it out it will go to perkatory.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I do not WANT a gumbo recipe from the New York Times. I WANT a gumbo recipe from an old woman named Mawmaw Thibodeaux-Landry, who can bare knuckle box an alligator while reciting the Holy Rosary in Cajun French. https://www.facebook.com/groups/3998736640363910/

A toddler has more teeth, smells better, and has thrown tantrums for more justified reasons than a Capitol Rioter. §§ Justin is probably 30 by now, shouldn't someone have picked him up from daycare by now?

..........When we walked in the sands of the Waikiki..........Rickey Nelson …..Travelin' Man

1) The first WDS was held in Gilmore's Gardens, NYC, 1877.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 8, 2026. The moon will enter its last quarter tomorrow (5/9) and is in Aquarius. The United Nations has declared today and tomorrow Time of Remembrance & Reconciliation for Those Who Lost Their Lives During WWII. (8th & 9^th) Today is also Child Care Provider Day, Free Trade Day, International Thalassaemia Day, National Animal Disaster Preparedness Day, National Cruelty Free Day, No Socks Day, Student Nurse Day, Victory in Europe Day, World Ovarian Cancer Day, and World Red Cross/Red Crescent Day. Because it is the second Friday in May it is Fintastic Friday: Giving Sharks a Voice and because it is the Friday before Mother's Day it is also Military Spouse Appreciation Day and National Public Gardens Day,

Among those born on this day were Edward Gibbon (1737), Miguel Hidalgo y Castilla (1753), Mikhail Alexandrovich Bakunin (1814), Jean Henri Dunant (1828), Oscar Hammerstein (1846), Louis Madelin (1871), Harry S. Truman (1884), Ezio Pinza (1892), Fulton J Sheen (1895), Jan (Fritz) van Hall (1899), Mary Lou Williams (1910), Robert Johnson (1911), Don Rickles (1926), Theodore Sorensen (1928), Gary Snyder (Japhy Ryder, 1930), Sonny Liston (1934), James Darren (1936), Thomas Pynchon (1937), Rick Nelson (Eric Hilliard, 1940), Peter Benchley (1940), Euclid "Motorhead" Sherwood (1942), Toni Tennille (1943), Alex Van Halen (1955), and Melissa Gilbert (1964).

On May eighth Coddington founded Newport (RI, 1639), the US established a military draft (1792), the rubber tire was patented (1847), John Brown held an anti-slavery convention (Chatham, Canada, 1858), the first Westminster Dog Show opened (1877), Sweden abolished capital punishment (1921), the first eye bank opened (NYC, 1944), the Beatles released Let It Be (1970), and the World Health Organization announced that smallpox had been eradicated (1980).

Night Sky, 5/8: The shadows of moons Europa and Ganymede will be visible crossing the clouds tops of Jupiter in the western sky just after sunset. Venus shines there too. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Boys at bath

This Week: Saturday, May 9 – Alphabet Magnet Day & National Windmill Day & World Migratory Bird Day

Today is Letter Carriers' Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive Day

Sunday, May 10 – Mother's Day & Clean Your Room Day & National Hamster Day

Night Sky, 5/10: Sunrise: 6:12 am Sunset: 8:22 pm (14 hours and 10 minutes of daylight) Moonrise: 9:07 am Moonset: 6:13 pm

Monday, May 11 – Eat What You Want Day & National Foam Rolling Day & National Women's Check-up Day

Tuesday, May 12 – International Nurses Day & Native American Rights Day & Odometer Day

Night Sky,12: Head out an hour before sunrise on the mornings of May 12 to 13 to catch an eye-popping alignment in the eastern sky. Mars, Saturn, and the crescent moon will line up almost perfectly just above the east horizon. The trio will appear roughly an hour before sunrise, then climb higher before our bright star ascends.

Wednesday, May 13 – American Indian Day & Indigenous Arts Day & World Cocktail Day

Thursday, May 14 – National Chicken Dance Day & Underground America Day & National Decency Day

Florida just converted an abandoned off-shore oil rig into a daycare center. §§ I've started a diet where I only eat my toddler's leftover food. I've gained 10 pound.

..........Can't stand to leave her be..........Robert Johnson …..Kind Hearted Woman

2) Only 35 breeds were represented, along with a Miscellaneous class at the first WDS. As more breeds become recognized by the American Kennel Club, more are competing for the title of Best in Show at Westminster – so the competition only gets stiffer!

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: She said she liked a man who smells expensive. So I doused myself with gasoline.

Moonbeam: The proud man counts his newspaper clippings, the humble man his blessings. --Fulton J Sheen

Fun Fact of the Week: The Jewish year is 5789. The Chinese year is now 4723. This means that the Jews had to live for 1.063 years without Chinese food, a time known as the Dark Ages. https://www.facebook.com/grumpyoldgits

Video of the Week: Rick Nelson was my very first crush. Here he is singing Hello, Mary Lou on the Ozzie and Harriet show. (2:03) https://youtu.be/zLkCWT2neuI

Audio of the Week: All You Fascists Bound To Lose by The Resistance Revival Chorus https://youtu.be/dWUa7aAIfLE

The privileged man, whether he be privileged politically or economically, is a man depraved in intellect and heart. --Mikhail Alexandrovich Bakunin

Are they called baby boomers because their parents gave them dynamite when they were toddlers? §§ When the bough broke, how much did the daycare center have to pay in damages?

..........With her carefree devil eyes..........Ricky Nelson …..Poor Little Fool

3) Wire Fox Terriers have won Best In Show at Westminster 15 times. Scottish Terriers have won 8, English Springer Spaniels have won 6, and Pekingese have won 5.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My son is making the impassioned case that “extraordinary” means something is even more ordinary than usual and although my evidence is strong -- ”that's not what it means” --I'm still, somehow, losing the argument. --Henpecked Hal

Weird Word of the Week: Thalassophile – a lover of the sea. https://www.surfinghandbook.com/what-is-a-thalassophile/

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean a grease stain from a vinyl floor. Pour Coca-Cola over the stain, let sit for two hours, and mop up the mess. The phosphoric acid in the coke helps dissolve the grease stain. https://www.surfinghandbook.com/what-is-a-thalassophile/

Question of the Week: How would the lives of the dinosaurs have been different if they'd had coffee.

Hello, is this L'il Tykes Daycare? This is Ethan. I'll be playing from home today. §§ I think my toddler could light the house. She generates about 100 “whats” a day.

...........Telephone every town I know..........Robert Johnson …..Dust My Broom

4) 3 new breeds were added this year. The Russian Tsvetnaya Bolonka - a dark, curly-coated toy breed from Russia; the Basset Fauve de Bretagne - a hound with royal heritage; and the Teddy Roosevelt Terrier - named in honor of a U.S. president, earned full American Kennel Club recognition on January 1, 2026.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Titanic had a ballroom and yet it still sank. https://www.facebook.com/AzDemocraticWomen

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: The Watch City Steampunk Festival (9, Waltham, MA) ...free outdoor festival https://www.watchcityfestival.com/

Another Blasphemy of the Week: Extending ONE HAND to help somebody has more value than joining TWO HANDS for prayer. --Submitted by MMS

Spark of Joy of the Week: I just saw a cartoon by WARP. It is our moon. The Earth is circling around it. Our sun, Sol, is orbiting around them both. Three concentric circles. Moon Earth Sun The caption is What the Moon Believes.

My toddler is like Jesus; he can turn water into “whine”. §§ The motto at Mr Tatnaill's Daycare Emporium is “Just Don't Kill each Other!”.

..........I'm gonna run right by your side..........Ricky Nelson …..I'm Walkin'

5) About 3000 dogs participated in the 2025 dog show.

Protest Sign of the Week: Beware Of The Seashells

Quote of the Week: If the poor, the women, and the dispossessed sat at the tables where theological decisions are made, there would be a different set of sins. --Sister Joan Chittister.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's crazy that in one lifetime I have recorded songs onto a cassette tape, burned them onto a CD, loaded them onto an MP3 player, and now I stream them from my phone. I feel like an historical documentary. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Today's Peace of History: May 8, 1961: An estimated 9 million people in Belgium participated in a ten-minute work stoppage to protest nuclear weapons.

Of course for a full 40 hours week here at Rainbow Childcare we have various payment options. How healthy is your liver? §§ An army of toddlers is called infantry.

..........I'm booked, I gotta go..........Robert Johnson …..Sweet Home Chicago

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 8, 2026: Toddlin' ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect. --Edward Gibbon

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 5/07/26: $610,538,452,895

Pentagon Spending as of 5/01/26: $592,500,326,688 (7 days in May, 18 billion dollars)

Pentagon Spending is April 2026: $ 81,264,897,294

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/

Powerful states can maintain themselves only by crime, little states are virtuous only by weakness. --Mikhail Alexandrovich Bakunin

Famous Last Words: Get back, oh yeah. The Beatles Get Back – final song of Let It Be

..........I thought about a moonlit night..........Ricky Nelson …..Hello, Marylou, Goodbye Heart

Well, you just don't want to be the parent whose toddler is causing the Daycare Lady to drink. §§ My toddler swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles. Her next bathroom trip spelled disaster.

May Peace play your soundtrack

And Joy sing your lullaby

prairie mama

christine

PS If the Trump administration was a comedy instead of a reality show, it would be pretty funny.

Last Laugh:

Goosed ePistle

Famous First Words: The paragraphs, you say, Mr. Snake, were all inserted? --Lady Sneerwell Richard Sheridan The School for Scandal.

Happy Mother Goose Day. Here's a few nursery rhymes for ePistliers, dreamers, lovers, and me. Do you love me, Or do you not? You told me once, But I forgot. ^^ What's the news of the day, Good neighbor, I pray? “They say a balloon Is gone up to the moon. ^^ Hey, Donald Diddle, Iran's got your fiddle. The rocket flew over the moon. JD's cat laughed to see all of that and the Dems just sing that same tune.

..........Who you gonna call?.........Ray Parker Jr …..Ghostbusters

A general strike is when working people across many jobs, industries, and communities collectively stop participating in the system. No work, no buying, no compliance, not until real demands are met. It's not just about labor. It's about people. When we stop together, the system has to listen. --Unknown, posted in West Virginia

I am different. Let this not upset you. --Paracelsus

It is a chilly (40°F) Friday morning. The sky is nearly cloudless with only a few thin streak that could be left over jet trails. A blue jay, two sparrows and a squirrel are having a breakfast of sunflower seeds on the patio but the world itself is quiet. None of the birds are singing out Beltane blessings. There is very little wind. The willow branches high up the tall tree are scraggly and battle worn for the relentless winds we have had lately. Now they are resting from their frenzied dancing. I am at my desk listening to Puck snoring under my feet and sipping my doctored decaf. It is the day for the general strike and I have no plans to shop or work or go to school. I plan to spend my day writing and reading. Blessed be, on this fine holiday morning, blessed be.

Today is Beltane, it is the start of the glorious summer. It's time for fires, beach trips, and merriment under blue skies once again.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. --Noel Coward

My uncle died a week ago And left me all his riches: A wooden leg; a feather bed; And a pair of leather breeches. ^^ If many men did what many men do, The world would be better—I think so; don't you? ^^ Mary had a little lamb. She dressed it lots of leather. A sheep wrapped in a cow? Why not dress her in feathers.

..........We'll take on the world and win.........Rita Coolidge …..All Time High

If the workers take a notion, they can stop all speeding trains; every ship upon the ocean they can tie with mighty chains. --Joe Hill

Trivia Questions: Today is International Workers' Day

1. What is the purpose of International Workers' Day?

2. When did this holiday begin?

3. What were conditions like before the 8-hour day was enacted?

4. What do you know about the Haymarket Incident?

5. What's the difference between May Day and Labor Day?

Big Hello: Bitaю (Vitayu) - Ukrainian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've reached the age where I no longer know if I've sustained an injury of if that's just the way I am now. --Submitted by cjj of ks

Image of the Week: How tall do the trees grow in Washington?

Question of the Week: Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

Twelve pairs hanging high, Twelve knights riding by, Each knight took a pear, And left a dozen hanging there. ^^ There was a girl in our town, silk an' satin was her gown, Silk an' satin, gold an' velvet, Guess her name--three times I've tell'd it. ^^ RFJK was walking one day and found a bear cub that was dead. He took it back home, used a brush and a comb; what has gone wrong with his head?

..........There ought to be clowns.........Judy Collins …..Send In The Clowns

May Day Strong: No Work, No School, No Shopping --Indivisible

Moonbeam: You ought to be out raising hell. This is the fighting age. Put on your fighting clothes. --Mother Jones

Blasphemy of the Week: Thou shalt not leave your kneeler down when going to receive Holy Communion.

Coffee Joke of the Week: Who charges more per cup – Starbucks or Victoria's Secret?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When my fellow marines and I were being shot at by al-Qaeda and ISIS, I kept thinking, “If only we had a ballroom.” --Submitted by USDS

Wouldn't it be funny-- Wouldn't it, now-- If the dog said, “Moo-oo” And the cow said, “Bow-wow?” ^^ St Dunstan, as the story goes, once pulled the devil by the nose, with red hot tongs, which made him roar, that could be heard ten miles or more. ^^ Old Mother Pam went for the sham and everyone knew she was lying. Dear Mother Bondi protected the blondie, or at least she was trying.. Old Mother Pam was bad at the sham and so her career is dying.

..........What a lonesome feeling when you're by yourself.........Little Walter …..Blues With A Feeling

We have people power. We are the majority. We will never stop fighting for the democracy we deserve. --Women's March

1) International Workers' Day aka May Day is a holiday celebrating workers and the history of labor organizing. https://irle.ucla.edu/2025/04/28/may-day-history-significance/

Almanac: It is Friday, May 1, 2026. The moon is full (Flower) today and is in Scorpio. Today is May Day, Amtrak Day, Beltane, Buddha Day, Dandelion Days (1-2), Discuss Your Wage Day, Executive Coaching Day, Global Love Day, Hug Your Cat Day, International Doodle Dog Day, International Guerilla Sunflower Gardening Day, International Sauvignon Blanc Day, International Workers Day, Keep Kids Alive Drive 25 Day, Law Day, Lei Day, Loyalty Day, May One Day, Mother Goose Day, National Bubba Day, National Heatstroke Prevention Day, National High Potassium Awareness Day, National Purebred Dog Day, New Homeowner's Day, Religious Brothers Day, School Principals' Day, School Lunch Hero Day, Silver Star Banner Day, and Tuba Day. ~~Whew! They should just call it Everything Day.

Among those born on this day were Paracelsus (1493), Joseph Addison (1672), Mother Jones (1830), Calamity Jane (Martha Burke, 1852), Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881), Glenn Ford (1916), Jack Paar (1916), Joseph Heller (1922), Terry Southern (1924), Harry Belafonte (1927), Little Walter (1930), Judy Collins (1929), Rita Coolidge (1944), and Ray Parker Jr. (1954).

On May first England, Wales and Scotland formed the United Kingdom (1707), Sheridan's School for Scandal premiered in London (1777), the first adhesive postage stamps were issued (Penny Blacks, 1840), the first telegraph message was sent (1844), Argentina adopted its constitution (1853), the American Equal Rights Association formed (1866), Howard University was chartered (1867), the Folies-Bergere opened in Paris (1869), Buffalo Bill Cody's first wild west show opened (1883), the first International Workers Day was held (1889), Satchel Paige made his pitching debut (1926), the Empire State Building opened (1931), The Catholic Worker newspaper was founded (Dorothy Day & Peter Maurin, 1933), Batman comics hit the streets (1939), Citizen Kane premiered (1941), Cheerios went on sale (1941), and Pirate Radio Station 259 (England/France) began transmitting (1969).

Night Sky, 5/1: The Flower Moon rises gently into the night sky, glowing in soft silver and quiet gold as spring reaches its peak. This weekend the waxing gibbous moon will set during the early morning hours and will provide a small window of opportunity to view meteor activity under dark skies between moonset (5:57 am) and dawn.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The boys find the magic box

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Idk who needs to hear this, but I switched from buying coffee every day to making it at home 2 years ago and I'm still not a millionaire. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1473909789461636/

This Week: Saturday, May 2 – Indigenous Arts Day & Mariachi Day & National Home Brew Day & World Tuna Day

Sunday, May 3 – Garden Meditation Day & International Firefighters Day & Public Radio Day & World Laughter Day & World Press Freedom Day

Night Sky, 5/3: The 97% illuminated, waning gibbous will dominate the sky, rising alongside the bright star Regulus. Venus and Jupiter will be visible in the evening, while the early Summer Triangle, featuring the star Vega, begins to appear in the northeast.

Monday, May 4 – Lag B-Omer & National Day of Reason & National Weather Observers Day

Tuesday, May 5 – Cartoonists Day & Cinco de Mayo & National Astronaut Day

Night Sky, 5/5: The Eta Aquariids meteor shower peaks tonight. The best time to watch in before dawn. https://www.amsmeteors.org/meteor-showers/meteor-shower-calendar/

Wednesday, May 6 – No Homework Day & Russell Stover Candies Day & School Nurse Day

Night Sky, 5/6: Sunrise: 6:15 am Sunset: 8:20 pm (14 hours and 5 minutes of daylight) Moonrise: 12:28 am Moonset: 9:26 am

Thursday, May 7 – Beaufort Scale (Wind) Day & World Password Day & National Barrier Awareness Day

My little old man and I fell out; I'll tell you what t'was all about,-- I had money and he had none, And that's the way the noise begun. ^^Jerry Hall, He was so small, A rat could eat him, Hat and all ^^ Many mumbling mice are making Midnight music In the moonlight. ^^ Jack and Jill went up the hill to buy pork chops for dinner. Jack and Jill were short of cash, and came back down much thinner.

..........My head is turning around.........Harry Belafonte …..Jamaica Farewell

May 1st! No work, No school, No spending. Time to hit their wallets! --US Democratic Socialists

2) The holiday originated from a movement demanding improved working conditions and greater recognition for workers’ contributions. In 1884, a national federation of unions announced a campaign to establish an eight-hour workday by May 1, 1886. Workers in cities across North America went on strike leading up to that date in one of the era’s largest and most tumultuous periods of worker unrest.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They say women are emotional but I've never seen anything more dramatic than a man being held accountable for his actions. --leadingwomen https://www.facebook.com/NationalNOW

Moonbeam: What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable. --Joseph Addison

Fun Facts of the Week: On the morning of February 6, 1919, Seattle, a city of 315,000 people, stopped working. 25,000 other union members had joined 35,000 shipyard workers already on strike. The city's AFL unions, 101 of them, had voted to walk out in a gesture of support and solidarity. Read more

Audio of the Week: You Fascist Bound To Lose sung by Woody Guthrie 1944 (1:34) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwcKwGS7OSQ

The human body is vapor materialized by sunshine mixed with the life of the stars. --Paracelsus

A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds. ^^ Multiplication is vexation, Division is as bad; The Rule of Three doth puzzle me, And practice drives me mad. ^^ Bah! Bah! Red Sheep, have you any hope? No! No! No! No!. That's even worse than dope.

Unity over division! Whether you're a Progressive, Marxist, Anarchist, or a Democratic Socialist you're welcome here! --US Democratic Socialists

..........She take me money and runs Venezuela.........Harry Belafonte …..Matilda

3) Before the 8-hour day, USA labor conditions were marked by grueling 10 to 16-hour workdays, six days a week, often with minimal breaks, particularly in industrial settings. Workers faced unsafe environments at low wages for both adults and children.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm with President Trump. The WHCD shooting revealed the need for a secure, bulletproof ballroom to keep people safe. That is why going forward I will be advocating for a ballroom to be built at every US elementary school. --gamelawkate

Weird Word of the Week: Quiescent: Something that is quiet or still, often used to describe a calm and peaceful scene. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/quiescent

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean a burn stain from a pot or pan. If you burn a pot or pan on the stove and want to clean out the brown burn stain, boil some Coca-Cola in the pot or pant and the burn stain will come off. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola2.html

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater, Whacked off in the movie theater. Sprayed his load across the screen, And ruined Titanic's final scene. -Andrew Dice Clay ^^ Little Boy Blue – He needed the money -Andrew Dice Clay ^^ You better watch out. You better keep cool. Success will find you if you stay in school. ^^ Bah! Bah! red sheep, have you any shame. No! No! No! No! Good and bad, it's all the same.

No School. No Work. No Shopping. We are taking collective action and demanding a nation that puts workers over billionaires. --Women's March

...........You shake, shake here, you shake, shake there.........Little Walter …..Mellow Down Easy

4) In May 1886, police in Chicago shot striking workers, prompting activists to organize a protest in the city’s Haymarket Square. When a bomb exploded at that protest, killing one police officer and wounding others, police opened fire into the crowd, resulting in the deaths and injuries of both police and protesters. Eight protesters were arrested for inciting violence. The ensuing trial was considered by many to be unfair and resulted in the execution of seven of the eight men (1). This series of events would come to be known as the “Haymarket Incident” or “Haymarket Affair.”

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm looking forward to watching the World Origami Championship. It's on Paper View. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100093217332185

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Ashika-Con 2026 (1-2, Vancouver, WA) ...the ultimate fan experience... https://www.ashikacon.com/

Helpful Website of the Week: May Day Strong ( https://maydaystrong.org/ ) will help you find vigils, demonstrations, and other strike activities.

Spark of Joy of the Week: Utah Phillips singing Solidarity Forever: https://youtu.be/5rBVd9JAz3M (4:29)

Ah, yes! I wrote the “Purple Cow” – I'm sorry now I wrote it! But I can tell you anyhow, I just might kill you if you quote it. ^^ I never beat a rotten egg, I hever hope to beat one; But I can tell you anyhow, I'd rather beat than eat one. ^^ Twinkle, twinkle K2-18b. Entangle a quantum, we'll talk, you'll see.

The goal is to shift from mobilizing to organizing, so we are ready to respond when it matters: to ICE activity in our communities, to attacks on elections, to the ongoing consolidation of power by the Trump regime and its allies. --May 1^st Strike Committee

..........So blow, you old Blue Northern.........Judy Collins …..Someday Soon

5) Labor Day is celebrated in the United States and Canada on the first Monday in September. The origins of this holiday are also rooted in the 19th century when the Central Labor Union organized the first Labor Day march on September 5, 1882 in New York City. It became an official federal holiday in 1894 (3). Unlike Labor Day, May Day is not officially recognized in the United States as a federal holiday. However, both holidays have ties to the American labor movement and both uplift the accomplishments of workers.

Protest Sign of the Week: I've Seen 17 Presidents In My 94 Years And He's The WORST

Quote of the Week: The belief in the possibility of a short, decisive war appears to be one of he most ancient and dangerous of human illusions. --Robert Lynd

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What kind of jerk makes an anti-anxiety pill that's difficult to break in half? --Submitted by INRITH

Today's Peace of History: , May 1, 1887: May Day was called Emancipation Day in 1886 when 340,000 went on strike (though it was Saturday it was a regular day of work) in Chicago for the 8-hour workday.

John Lithgow & Mother Goose: POTUS whose pants are routinely on fire, Could be Dumpty the Huckster or Dumpty the Liar. ^^ ...Blithering idiot, gone round the bend: when in the world will this lunacy end?

The poor were wise, who, by the rich oppressed, withdrew, and sought a secret place of rest. --Juvenal

..........But I forgot how to dream.........Rita Coolidge …..That's The Way I've Always Heard It Should Be

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 1, 2026: Goosed ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them. --Joseph Heller

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 5/01/26: $592,500,326,688

Pentagon Spending is April 2026: $81,264,897,194 Average spent per day $2,708,829,906.46

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/

The higest degree of a medicine is Love. --Paraclesus

Famous Last Words: Merry part until we merry meet again! --Beltane blessing

Labor will feed the People… Labor will care for the babies and the sick… Labor will preserve order…—Anna Louise Strong, summarizing the intentions of the General Strike

..........Good night turned into late night.........Ray Parker Jr …..Girls Are More Fun

Tariffs posed by Trump, Put the farmers in the dump. O, no the Derry-O, the farmers in a slump. --Stephen Colbert ^^ Once upon a time when pigs spoke rhyme, And monkeys chewed tobacco, And hens took snuff to make them tough, And ducks went quack, quack, quack O! ^^ Who killed cock robin? I said UHI, to keep the profits high. Who saw her die? We said the bears, to spare the billionaires.

May Peace lift your spirits

And Joy raise your soul

prairie mama

christine

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