Famous First Words: Whereas several well disposed and Publick spirited Persons... An Act for Liberty to Erect a Collegiate School (Yale University Charter, 1701)
It's National Midwifery Week (4-10). Midwife (noun) Someone who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge. See also: Wizard, Magician ++ I'm not sure I'm cut out to help bring babies into this world. Sounds like you're having a midwife crisis. ++ Midwives help people out.
..........Nothing is real, and nothing to get hung about.........The Beatles with John Lennon …..Strawberry Fields Forever
We should do more and talk less. --Mary Ann Shadd Cary
It is chilly (61°F) Friday morning. A light breeze moves the air across my cheek without moving my hair. The light is slowly spreading across a cloudless sky which is evolving from white to blue. The trees, still green, are still; only the very top leaves sway in the music of the wind. The two bunnies that were nibbling sunflower seeds left over from yesterday do not run when I open the door. They move far enough a way to have a good head start in case they need to run, but they wait while I put out a fresh supply of seeds and peanuts. They eye Veronica, the cat, but do not even run from her. She just watches the whole yard like she's the guardian of the neighborhood. Now we wait, she and I, for the crows, for their noisy conversation, and their company. I sit at my computer typing and Veronica goes to the next room to sit on the desk and stare out the back window. All in all, not a bad morning. And the best is yet to come – writing to you.
Hope your weekend comes out okay, gentle folk.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Humans invented clocks so they could be late with mathematical precision. --Submitted by Club42
Yay! It's Friday. Oh, wait, I'm a midwife. ++ Does it hurt? Can I get you a beer or something? This is why there are no midhusbands.
..........Nothing you can make that can't be made.........The Beatles with John Lennon …..All You Need Is Love
If a woman doesn't look like a Goddess during labor, then someone isn't treating her right. --Ina May Gaskin, author Spiritual Midwifery
Trivia Questions: Happy World Egg Day
How many bird species' eggs are part of the regular human diet?
How long does it take a chicken to produce an egg?
What, if any, differences are there between white eggs and brown eggs?
Which US state processes the most commercial eggs annually?
What is the relationship between a chef's toque hat and eggs?
Big Hello: Sawubona - Zulu https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Learning French has really encouraged me to live in the moment because I currently cannot conjugate any other verb tenses. --Submitted by LanguageNerds
Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Lord, the free oxygen you gave us. Lays is selling it in bags with like 5 chips. --Submitted by Official … Colbert
Insult of the Week: Eric Schmitt. Imagine being the dumbest senator in your state when the other one is Josh Hawley. https://www.facebook.com/wokeginger
Thank you for calling Acme Midwifery and Plumbing. If your water breaks, we've got you covered. ++ Midwife /midwarf (noun) 1. Delivers babies 2. Never wrong 3. Always awesome.
..........Integrations, meditions, United Nations, congratulations.........John Lennon and Yoko Ono
Moonbeam: No one is entitled to the truth. --E Howard Hunt
Blasphemy of the Week: The difference between you and me is you use scripture to determine what love means and I use love to determine what scripture means. --Jesus --Submitted by UUHS
Coffee Joke of the Week: Half Midwife, Half Coffee
Second Blasphemy and Second Coffee Joke of the Week: Through Coffee all things are possible.
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you believe in countries, the United States is a much more powerful country than Russia. But if you just believe that it's gangster on gangster, well then sure, Putin is a much better gangster than Trump. --Tim Snyder
Midwives do it in any position. ++ No, not delighted...Dilated!
..........Nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too.........John Lennon …..Imagine
When we as a society begin to value mothers as the givers and supporters of life, then we will see social change in ways that matter. --Ina May Gaskin
1) There are over 10,000 species of birds but the eggs of only 7 are routinely used: Chicken, Turkey, Duck, Quail, Goose, Pheasant, Emu, and Ostrich.
Extra2 Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Greek mythology is basically thousands of years of evidence that giving relatives superpowers is a terrible idea. --Submitted by Blasphemy Memes
Almanac: It is Friday, October 9, 2026. The moon will be new tomorrow and is in Libra. Today is International Beer and Pizza Day, Leif Erikson Day, National Nanotechnology Day (Honors the Nanometer Scale 10-9 meters), National Pro-Life Cupcake Day, PANS/PANDAS Awareness Day, World Postcard Day and Nautilus Night (Cephalopods). Because it is the second Friday it is also National Family Bowling Day (or Kids Bowl Free Day) and World Egg Day.
Among those born on this day were Mary Ann Shadd Cary (1823), Aimee Semple McPherson (1890), Bruce Catton (1899), E Howard Hunt (1918), Robert Shaw (1927), John Lennon (1940), Mike Peters (1943), Peter Tosh (1944), Jackson Browne (1948), Robert Whul (1951), Sharon Osbourne (1952), Scott Bakula (1954), Guillermo del Toro (1964), and David Cameron (1966),
On October 9th Charlemagne was crowned King of the Franks (768), Leif Ericson "discovered" Vinland aka New England (1000), Yale was chartered as the Collegiate School of Connecticut (1701), slavery was abolished in Costa Rica (1824), the calliope and the sewing machine were patented (1855), the American Humane Association was organized (1877), Woodrow Wilson became the first president to attend a world series game (1915), the first transcontinental flight by a woman, Laura Ingalls, was completed (1930), Hoover Dam went “online” (1936), the Manhattan Project was approved (1941), the first electric blanket was manufactured (1946), Tanganyika became independent within the British Commonwealth (1961), Uganda became independent within the British Commonwealth (1962), Boston rioted over school bussing (1974), France abolished capital punishment (1981), Kathy Sullivan became the first woman to walk in space (1984), and the Strawberry Fields memorial to John Lennon opened (1985).
Night Sky, 10/9: Early this morning the Draconid meteor shower peaked. Tonight the Milky Way core is visible. It will be moving out of sight until next year on the 13th.
Fraternal Picture of the Week: Seattle Sounders Soccer
Public Service Announcement of the Week: Oliver Brault aka Ollie would now like to be known as Alexis. Maxwell is still known as Max. Jack and Aleena are still known as dad and mom.
This Week: Saturday, October 10 – Hug A Drummer Day & I Love Yarn Day & National Chess Day & National Walk To The Park Day
Night Sky, 10/10: The moon becomes new in Libra occurs at 10:50 am CDT.
Sunday, October 10/11 – International Day of the Girl Child & National Coming Out Day & Clergy Appreciation Day
Night Sky, 10/11: The evening sky displays Aquarius, Cygnus, Lyra, Aquilla, and Pisces.
Monday, October 12 – Fossil Day & Indigenous Peoples' Day & National Farmer's Day & Read For The Record Day
Tuesday, October 13 – Silly Sayings Day & National No Bra Day
Wednesday, October 14 – Be Bald and Be Free Day & Emergency Nurses Day & S.A.V.E. (Stop America's Violence Everywhere)
Night Sky, 10/14: Saturn is at its brightest all night long. Jupiter & Mars are the morning stars.
Thursday, October 15 – Global Handwashing Day & I Love Lucy Day & National Grouch Day
Night Sky, 10/15: Sunrise: 7:24 am Sunset: 6:52 pm 11 hours and 28 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 8:19 am Moonset: 5:17 pm
Midwife: Where is the umbilical cord? New mom: It's wireless. ++ For Sale Midwife Manuals. (Can deliver)
..........They're after you to sign your life away.........The Alarm with Mike Peters …..Sixty-eight Guns
2) It takes a hen between 24 and 26 hours to develop an egg. Once she lays, she takes a 30 minute break, and then starts the next one.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just heard someone call a cybertruck a “Klanborghini”. @fooyoo2.bsky.social
Moonbeam: Your gut is always right. --Sharon Osbourne
Fun Fact of the Week: All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, filth, hatred, and schizophrenia. --George Orwell
Video of the Week: Lady Gaga: Til It Happens To You (5:25) Lady Gaga's song about rape. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmWBrN7QV6Y
Self-reliance is the fine road to independence. --Mary Ann Shadd Cary
I used to have a life but then I decided to be a nurse midwife. ++ Ask the Midwife: At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?
..........And the river opens for the righteous someday.........Jackson Browne …..I Am A Patriot
3) Shell color is set by the breed not by taste or nutrition. Brown, white, blue, and green are all the same egg inside.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I wouldn't do much for a Klondike bar, but I might do some shady shit for a tank of gas right now. @blueheartedly1.bsky.social
Weird Word of the Week: Zohnerism: use of a fact to lead a scientifically ignorant public to a false conclusion. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Zohnerism
Dragon of the Week: Curtains
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make a Cola Volcano. Mix two drops of Tabasco Pepper Sauce into a glass of Coca-Cola, stir well, and add ice. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola4.html
Midwife: Helping you release your inner child. ++ Midwives are the answer to your multiplication problems.
The energy that gets the baby in is the energy that gets the baby out. --Ina May Gaskin
...........Oh, won't you stay just a little bit longer.........Jackson Browne …..Load Out/Stay
4) Iowa hens lay 14.8 billion eggs per year. Ohio is next with 7.9 billion.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I miss the version of me that could sneeze without doing a quick risk assessment. --Submitted by INRITH
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: WindyCon 2026 (9-11, Chicago, IL) Sanctuary in the Stars https://www.windycon.org/
Science Fiction Joke of the Week: Me at 13: Wow, I can't wait till we have immersive computers everywhere like Star Trek. Me today: Wow, I can't wait until we destroy all computers like they did in Dune.
Spark of Joy of the Week: If you have never been called a defiant, incorrigible, impossible woman, there is still time. --Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Mary had a little lamb and the midwife fainted. ++ Modesty? Please, I'm a midwife; I've seen more privates than an army general.
..........who can show me what laughter means.........Jackson Browne …..The Pretender
5) Traditionally the chef hat has a pleat for each way he/she can cook an egg.
Protest Sign of the Week: Release the Trumpstein Files!
Quote of the Week: I'm not a person who thinks the world would be entirely different if it was run by women. If you think that, you've forgotten what high school was like. --Madeleine Albright
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When small men cast long shadows, the sun is about to set. --Lin Yutang
Today's Peace of History: December 9, 1949: U.S. Representative John Parnell Thomas, former chairman of the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC), was sentenced to 6 to 18 months in federal prison for "padding" Congressional payrolls and using the money himself (embezzlement). He had pleaded no contest to the charges, and was pardoned by President Harry Truman shortly before the end of his presidency.
The laboring mother kept shouting “Shouldn't, couldn't” at the top of her lungs “didn't, can't”. The midwife assured her partner that they were just contractions. ++ I didn't become a comedian for the same reason I didn't become a midwife...I always screw up the delivery.
Pregnant and birthing mothers are elemental forces, in the same sense that gravity, thunderstorms, earthquakes, and hurricanes are elemental forces. --Ina May Gaskin
..........Was I unwise to keep them open for so long.........Jackson Browne …..Doctor My Eyes
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, October 9, 2026: Mid-ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.
Moonbeam: O Hope! Dazzling, radiant Hope! What a change thou bringest to the hopeless; brightening the darkened paths, and cheering the lonely way. --Aimee Semple McPherson
Cost of War: Pentagon Spending 10/8/26: $1,040,766,835,854
Pentagon Spending 10/1/26: $1,020,702,251,165 So this week it's twenty billion, sixty-four million, five hundred and eighty-four thousand, six hundred and eighty-nine dollars. Whew! 20 billion would house the entire unhoused population of the US for 4 years.
This is the way of peace – overcome evil with good, and falsehood with truth, and hatred with love. --The Peace Pilgrim
Pentagon Spending in September 2026: $83,835,546,693
Pentagon Spending in August 2026: $89,089,647,361
Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282
Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422
Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719
Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
It is better to wear out than to rust out. --Mary Ann Shadd Cary
Famous Last Words: I'm shot. --John Lennon In his memory on the opening of the Strawberry Fields Memorial Dedication 1985. John died 12/6/1980.
..........People need some reason to believe.........Jackson Browne …..Running On Empty
Nurse midwife...because Badass Miracle Worker isn't an official job title. ++ My sister is a midwife. The first Thanksgiving dinner when she cooked the turkey, she texted mom, “Good news. The turkey is dilated to 10 centimeters and the stuffing is crowning.
May Peace ease your labor
And Joy bless your result
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh: Midwife Birthday Card
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