ePistle 80

 Famous First Words: It's a girl. --my doctor

Today I turn 80 years old. Turning 80 is just like turning 27 in Celsius. Wow! It seems like only yesterday that I was 79. Actually, 80 is the new 60 with more wisdom but fewer teeth.

..........Adrift in a world of my own..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..The Great Pretender

Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhuman. --Martin Luther King, Jr

It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sky is azure without cloud or jet trail. There is no breeze to make the willow dance or the mulberry sway. Birthday perks started with Jeff handing me a cup of sweetened and creamed coffee just after I awoke and breakfast out awaiting the ePistle's delivery. It is chilly (34°F). Vance sent me birthday greetings from Thailand as soon as it was Friday there and I sat down to a rappin' birthday card from Jo. 80 years is both a long time and only a moment making this Schrödinger's birthday. Puck consumed a handful of tiny treats and is now lying on my feet which have not yet been imprisoned in shoes or socks. All in all a very pleasant morning, hope yours is the same.

May your weekend give you a lifetime of memories, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you can't think of a word say “I forget the English word for it”. That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an 80 years old.

By the time you reach 80 you've learned everything. It's remembering it that's a problem. Actually at 80 things are finally beginning to click – knees, elbows, hips...

..........Is? Is it hopeless to love you ..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..Helpless

Trivia Questions: Things that happened 80 years ago.

• ^ Which Bogart film won Best Picture at the Oscars in 1944?
• ^^ What June 6, 1944 event changed the course of WWII?
• ^^^ Who won the world series in 1944?
• ^^^^ What song did Billboard declare the most popular of 1944?
• ^^^^^ Who won the presidential election of 1944 and who was he running against?

~~There were no World Science Fiction conventions during WWII. In 2019 the Hugo Award Committee gave out Retro 1944 Hugos to Fritz Leiber Jr for Conjure Wife for best novel and the best short story Hugo to King of the Gray Spaces by Ray Bradbury. The NY Times lists the best selling book as A Tree Grows in Brooklyn but Publishers Weekly lists Strange Fruit by Lillian Smith.

Big Hello: Hi'elel'ut – Galllifreyan (Dr Who's home planet)

Hippy Update of the Week: I have an April 28 appointment with Dr James Huston at OrthoKansas. My insurance gave me the okay. So, I'm just in waiting mode. My next goal is to learn to drive those awful electric carts at the grocery store...without maiming any shoppers or workers.

Funniest Thing I Did Once of the Week: I told my son's high school Economics teacher that what is called economics in daily life is really finance (a small branch of real economics) and that it was the functional religion of the United States and therefore should not be taught in public school. ~~Fortunely he had a sense of humor and my son passed the class.

Image of the Week: This is a golden arches Marijuana bag. It was a gift – easily, I think, 30+ years ago – from a coworker who is still a friend. It was a souvenir from a trip to Cancun. This week he sent me a message asking if I still use it and I do. It was and still is hanging on my bedpost not 5 feet from my computer. It contains paraphernalia that is not used everyday.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 10% of special collections librarians shelve items by the Mildewey Decimal System. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Life at 80 is like a roll of toilet paper – the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. Actually, age is just the price tag that life puts on you. I am now, officially, priceless.

..........They ask me how I knew my true love was true..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

Moonbeam: Laughter is nothing else but sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency in ourselves, by comparison with the infirmity of others, or with our own formerly. --Thomas Hobbes

Blasphemy of the Week: Imagine taking a few Bible verses on human sexuality as literal divine commands from God for all society, but minimizing the +3000 verses calling for the care of immigrants, the marginalized, the oppressed, and the poor to a personal choice. --Rev Benjamin Cremer --Submitted by MMS

Puzzle of the Week: From Mae McAllister of Bath (UK): As you may know, each chemical element can be represented by a one- or two-letter symbol. Hydrogen is H, helium is He, and so on. Mae points out that there are two commonly known elements whose names each can be spelled using three other element symbols. Name either one. NPR Sunday Puzzle 3/31/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Reality TV to me is the museum of social decay. --Gary Oldman

I'm still playing with a full deck; I just shuffle slower. Actually, at 80 you're allowed to spend more time napping than you spend awake.

..........Goodbye to tender nights beside the silvery sea ..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..Harbor Lights

^ Casablanca won best picture and Michael Curtiz won for directing it. ~~For ePistle Regulars (FERs) Jack Benny was the host that year.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 5, 2024. The moon will be new on Monday (4/8) and is in Pisces. It is Go For Broke Day, Lava Lamp Day, National Deep Dish Pizza Day, Hospital Admitting Clerks Day, and National Walk to Work Day. In Massachusetts it is Student Government Day.

Among those born on this day were Thomas Hobbes (1588), Kan van Kessel (1626), Giacomo Casanova (1725), Booker T. Washington (1856), Spencer Tracy (1900), Bette Davis (1908), Gregory Peck (1916), Robert Bloch (1917)) ~~Bloch was the Guest of Honor and the very first science fiction convention I attended, 1974. Robert Q. Lewis (1921), Gale Storm (1922), Tony Williams (The Platters, 1928), Vince Gill (1957), and Harcourt Fenton "Harry" Mudd (2173).

On April fifth Noah's ark grounded on Mt. Ararat (calculated, 2348 BCE), the Mayflower set sail again (1621), the British Museum was established (1853), the first US Chamber of Commerce was founded (NYC, 1768), Der Fledermaus premiered (1874), Firestone began production of inflatable tires (1923), Johnny Weissmuller set records at the Olympics (1927), San Francisco replaced the Castro & Fillmore streetcars with buses (1941), WGN in Chicago began broadcasting (1948), Julius & Ethel Rosenberg were sentenced to death (1951), Elvis Presley recorded his debut single (That's All Right, 1954), A Thousand Clowns premiered (1962), Wilt Chamberlain set the NBA record with 41 rebounds ( 76ers, 1967), Pioneer 11 was launched towards Jupiter (1973), Galileo flew by Ganymede (1997), and Earth first encountered extra-terrestrials (Vulcans, (2063).

Night Sky 4/5: Shortly after nightfall around this time of year, Arcturus, the bright Spring Star climbing in the east, stands just as high as Sirius, the brighter Winter Star descending in the southwest (for skywatchers at mid-northern latitudes). These are the two brightest stars in the sky at the time. But Capella is a very close runner-up to Arcturus! Spot it high in the northwest. Celestial Events | The Latest Observing News from Sky & Telescope - Sky & Telescope (skyandtelescope.org)

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Bedtime at grandma's.

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If Paul saw today's church, we'd be getting a letter.

This Week: Saturday, April 6 – Every Day Is Tag Day & National Play Outside Day & Tartan Day

Sunday, April 7 – International Beaver Day & Metric System Day & World Health Day (UN)

Monday, April 8 – Buddha's Birthday & Right to Read Day & Draw
A Bird Day

Afternoon Sky, 4/8: Total and also partial eclipse of the sun. (1:27 pm in Texas and 3:35 pm in Maine) For everything you want to know about this eclipse and then some more try: Total Solar Eclipse 2024 US — Great American Eclipse

Tuesday, April 9 – Appomattox Day & National Be Kind To Lawyers Day & National Library Day

Wednesday, April 10 – National Farm Animals Day & ASPCA Day & Safety Pin Day

Night Sky, 4/10: High above the Big Dipper late these evenings, nearly crossing the zenith, are three pairs of dim naked-eye stars, all 3rd or 4th magnitude, marking the Great Bear's feet. They're also known as the Three Springs (or Leaps) of the Gazelle, from early Arab lore. They form an east-west line that lies roughly midway between the Bowl of the Big Dipper and the Sickle of Leo. The line is 30° (three fists) long. According to the ancient Arabian story, the gazelle was drinking at a pond — the big, dim Coma Berenices star cluster — and bounded away when startled by a flick of Leo's nearby tail, Denebola. Leo, however, seems quite unaware of all this, facing the other way.

Thursday, April 11 – Barbershop Quartet Day & National Pet Day & Submarine Day

I've adopted a new slogan. It's a quote from Mae West: Anything worth doing is worth doing slow. Actually, at 80 your bones soften but your arteries harden, so it balances out.

..........Would my every prayer begin and end with just your name..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..If I Didn't Care

^^ On June 6, 1944, the Allies changed the course of WWII with D-Day. This massive assault on Nazi-occupied Europe turned the tide of World War II.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. --Ralph Waldo Emerson

Moonbeam: Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk. --Robert Bloch ~~Robert wrote the book, but someone else wrote the screenplay.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: What or Who Made the Baltimore Bridge Collapse? Some right-wing social media users suggested that Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) policies were linked to the bridge collapse by arguing that more qualified people were passed over for jobs to fulfill diversity and inclusion mandates and that this in some way contributed to or caused the accident. ~~One of many theories. How the Baltimore bridge collapse spawned a torrent of instant conspiracy theories | CNN Politics

Video of the Week: Songs from 1944 Part 2 (13:21) Songs from 1944 (Part Two) (youtube.com) ~~I did not find Part 1.

Universal health care saves everyone --Jeff Latas

On Talk Like a Pirate Day (9/19) I get to say, “Aye Matey”. Actually, now that I'm 80 I'm going to get my first tattoo. My name and address on my wrist.

..........You're a cool, crazy kitten ..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..Voovee A Bee

^^^ The 1944 “Trolley Series” pitted the St. Louis Blues against the St. Louis Cardinals. The series went six games with the Cardinals winning. ~~This is the only World Series to date in which neither team was credited with a stolen base.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough. --Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Subchondral – bone that sits underneath cartilage in a joint. ~~It's where I have cystic change, sclerosis, and bony remodeling. define subchondral - Google Search

Dragon of the Week: In case you hadn't heard...

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Happy Lava Lamp Day! Make a poor man's lava lamp. Fill a glass with Canada Dry Club Soda and drop in two raisins. The carbonation will cause the raisins to repeatedly bob to the surface and then sink again. Canada Dry®: Wacky Uses

My memory shrinks. My hearing stinks. No sense of smell, I look like hell. My mood is bad—can you tell? My body's drooping, I have trouble pooping, The golden years have come at last. The golden years can kiss my ass. -The Cat In The Hat Actually, at 80 every morning is the start of a new adventure; and that's just getting to the bathroom.

...........It casts a spell, it rings a bell ..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..The Magic Touch

^^^^ Bing Crosby's Swinging on a Star was number one. It was on the Billboard chart athe #1 for 9 weeks, and on the chart at various other ranks for a total of 28 weeks. Over 1,000,000 records had been sold. ~~#2 ws Bing Crosby and the Andrew Sisters singing Don't Fence Me In.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I will rise again, like a phoenix that tripped over an extension cord, hurt its shoulder, and then awkwardly stood up. --High Church Coyote

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CyPhaCon 2024 (5-7, Lake Charles, LA) 110+ hours of original panels and programming...CYPHACON – CYPHACON 2024

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Forest Biology and Biotechnology (ICFBAB) (4/2, San Francisco, CA) Upcoming San Francisco Conferences 2024: Leading Events (internationalconferencealerts.com)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: IRON — Ir (iridium), O (oxygen), N (nitrogen) & SILVER — Si (silicon), Lv (livermorium), Er (erbium).

Reaching the 80^th year of life in itself is a humongous feat that must be cherished with the utmost zing. OR There is no virtue in growing old; it just takes a long time. --Robert Heinlein. Actually, it could be worse. If I were a dog I'd be 560.

..........First the tide rushes in; plants a kiss on the shore ..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..Ebb Tide

^^^^^ Franklin D Roosevent and Harry S Truman beat Thomas E Dewey and John W Bricker. FDR got 432 electoral votes to Dewey 99. Popular vote: FDR 25,612,916 to TED 22,017 929.

ePistle History of the Week: The ePistle turns 25 this year...I think. Joyce and I began it together back then. The first recipients were John & Erin Garlinghouse who had moved north of the arctic circle. It started by snail mail. This was sometime before 2001. The songs were whatever we were listening to while we wrote. I'm not sure when it got the name ePistle. The next ePistlier was Tad Hoff and then I lost track. I don't know what time of year any of these things happened either. So it's just the “Silver Anniversary” and it lasts all year.

Quote of the Week: Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience. --Dorothy Parker The Portable Dorothy Parker was published in 1944.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't understand how a cemetery can raise funeral prices and blame it on the high cost of living. --Submitted by sw of kc

Today's Peace of History, April 5, 1911: From 100,000 to 500,000 people marched in New York City to attend the funeral of seven unidentified victims of the Triangle Shirtwaist Company fire in late March.

Unfortunately, at this age “getting lucky: means making it home before my hip gives out. Actually, turning 80 is a lot like turning 40 with twice the cake.

..........Heavenly shades of night are falling ..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..Twilight Time

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, 2024, ePistle 80. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: The happiest people are those who do the most for others. --Booker T Washington

Cost of War:

• As of 04/04/24 State Department Costs: $232,815,636,279.
• As of 03/28/24 State Department Costs: $232,264,002,368.
• As of 04/04/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,209,381,704,390.
• As of 03/28/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,207,843,720,226.
• As of 04/04/24 Homeland Security: $1,164,892,923,413.
• As of 03/28/24 Homeland Security: $1,163,994,826,464.
• As of 04/04/24 Veterans Care: $3,592,684,963,426.
• As of 03/28/24 Veterans Care: $3,581,026,863,244.
• As of 04/04/24 Military Costs: $3,077,919,663,375.
• As of 03/28/24 Military Costs: $3,076,751,925,305.
• As of 04/04/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,277,396,947,787.
• As of 03/28/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,261,883,045,463.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Health care must be recognized as a right, not a privilege. Every man, woman, and child in our country should be able to access the health care they need regardless of their income. --Bernie Sanders

Famous Last Words: His majesty is acknowledged, etc. --Johann Strauss Die Fledermaus

..........When twilight is gone and no songbirds are singing ..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..My Prayer

At 80 you are forced to admit that your skin has lost its battle with gravity. Actually, the city just installed a traffic sign on my block with a picture of two old people with canes walking across the street.

May Peace grace your wrinkles
And Joy enhance your wisdom
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: