6-String ePistle

Famous First Words: We were in class when... Gustave Flaubert: Madame Bovary

Rejoice, it's International Guitar Month! This next song is about the feelings of an expensive, finely crafted instrument spending its life in the hands of a musical hack. / If you know how many guitars you have, you don't have enough.

..........When the dream came..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..On The Way Home

Our world needs peace. Now more than ever. --António Guterres

It is a chilly (47°F) Friday morning. A light southwestern breeze makes the willow dance but does not seem so serious about the chill. Birds of all sizes and songs have already flown over the backyard and the house...sparrows, robins, and a single, large bird I could not name. There are no clouds to hide the bluest sky; it is pale where the sun shines and darker low where the rising sun has not yet penetrated. Both bird song and bird conversation is scattered throughout the trees. A robin sits on a power wire but makes no noise at all. The leaves on the mulberry have pushed into little buds that at any moment will reveal green. Ah, I am sipping creamed and sweetened decaf and iced water. I light a cone of incense to tint even the air with a smidgen of beauty. Wow, another beautiful day.

Hope your weekend plucks all the right strings, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I liked it better when we were the major threat to the state. --rg of kc

Yes, Jimi Hendrix, No, not Jimi Hendrix. Guitars liked the way Jimi played them but not the way he smashed instruments. / Three bass players walked into a bar. They all ended up on the floor bruised but the bar was uninjured.

..........Because the past is just a goodbye..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Teach Your Children

Trivia Questions: Happy National Robotics Week (6-14)

• ^ Which Czech science fiction author coined the word Robot?
• ^^ How many of Isaac Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics can you name?
• ^^^ How early did robots appear in movies?
• ^^^^ Can you name the well known robot that appeared in literature before the word was coined?
• ^^^^^ How many of the 25 Real-Life (sic) robots can you name?

Big Hello: Bonzur – Mauritian Creole https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Nice sense of meaning you've got there...be a shame if someone were to... subject it to philosophical inquiry.

Image of the Week: The background is a picture of a calendar page and the acknowledgment says: Christine Smith – Lawrence Progressive Calendar November 6, 2016 – April 7, 2024 Thank you for your dedication to Peace and Justice

Observation of the Week: I have long claimed that the secret to happiness is twofold. Lose your expectations and minimize your ego. In the last year I have unexpectedly received two commemorations and spent time sitting around listening to people talk about what I've done and how I did it. pure ego boost. I really hate to admit this, but it has made me happy. Sigh.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Worst April Fools joke in a library is announcing there's cake in the breakroom where there isn't. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

“OMG, it's just about showtime. I'm not going to be able to hit the notes. Everybody's gonna stare at me. I'll break a string. ... Guitar Frets / Dinosaurs that played the guitar are called Jurassic Pluckers.

..........Why can't we go on as three..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Triad

Moonbeam: Impressionism: It is the birth of Light in painting. --Robert Delaunay

Blasphemy of the Week: Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you. --Submitted by cf of kc

Puzzle of the Week: The English language developed in a patriarchal society, so many words in our language were traditionally assumed to be male and turned into female versions by adding a prefix or suffix. Waiter and waitress, comedian and comedienne — those are just two examples of the many stereotypically "male" words that become new "female words" by adding a suffix. There is a common English word that works the opposite way, where the uninflected form is used generally for women and to which we add a two-letter suffix for the male form. What is that word? NPR Sunday Puzzle, 4/7/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it. --George Carlin

How did Stevie Ray Vaughn protect his guitar from theft? He stored it in a bass case. / Fred put together a rock and roll trio of an Ibanez Genesis, a Salvi Aurora concert harp, and a Luthieros Lyre. Fred called it fusion music but his wife called it String Theory.

..........Shells lie scattered in the sand..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..The Lee Shore

^ You're familiar with Karel Čapek, right? If not, you should be—he's the guy who (along with his brother Josef) invented the word “robot.” Čapek introduced robots to the world in 1921, when his play “R.U.R.” (subtitled “Rossum's Universal Robots”) was first performed in Prague. ~~My absolute favorite Čapek is The Absolute At Large. It is only one of two truly pantheistic novels I know of. (The other is The Golden Ass by Apuleius.)

Almanac: It is Friday, April 12, 2024. The moon will enter the first quarter next Monday (4/15) and is in Gemini. It is International Day of Human Space Flight (UN), D.E.A.R. (Drop Everything and Read) Day, Licorice Day, Look Up at the Sky Day, and Walk on Your Wild Side Day. In North Carolina it is Halifax Independence Day (1776).

Among those born on this day are Aleksandr Ostrovsky (1823), Robert Delaunay (1885), Johnny Dodds (1892), Herbert Mills (1912), Emil T. Petaja (1915), Maria Callas (1923), Tiny Tim (Herbert Butros Khaury, 1932), Herbie Hancock (1940), Ed O'Neill (1946), David Letterman (1947), David Cassidy (1950), Andy Garcia (1956), Shannen Doherty (1971), and Claire Danes (1979).

On April twelfth England adopted the Union Jack flag (1606), England, Ireland and Scotland united (1654), Madame Bovary was published (1857), North Carolina passed an Anti-Klan law (1869), the catcher's mask was first used (1877), the Hippodrome opened (NYC, 1905), the 48 hour work week became law in the UK (1919), Spain voted out the monarchy (1931), Harry Truman was sworn in as the 33rd president (1945), Syria gained independence (1946), Big Joe Turner released Shake, Rattle and Roll (1954), the A's played their first game in KC (1955), Douglas MacArthur declined an offer to become baseball commissioner (1961), Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young released 4 Way Street (1971), the space shuttle Columbia was launched (1981), Texaco filed for bankruptcy (1987), Sonny Bono was elected mayor of Palm Springs (1988), and Euro Disney opened (1992).

Night Sky, 4/12: Just above the crescent Moon this evening is Beta Tauri (El Nath), which at magnitude +1.6 just misses being a 1st-magnitude star. Far to their right or upper right is brighter Capella. A little farther to their left or lower left is Betelgeuse. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: On the yard again...

This Week: Saturday, April 13 – Scrabble Day & Slow Art Day & Thomas Jefferson Day

Sunday, April 14 – National Dolphin Day & Pan American Day & International Moment of Laughter Day

Night Sky, 4/14: The Moon, less than a day before the first quarter, hangs under Castor and Pollux this evening.

Monday, April 15 -Income Tax Day & Jackie Robinson Day & National ASL Day (American Sign Language)

Tuesday, April 16 – National Orchid Day & Save the Elephant Day & National Stress Awareness Day

Wednesday, April 17 – Bat Appreciation Day & Herbalist Day & International Haiku Poetry Day

Night Sky, 4/16: The Lyrids meteor shower is a medium-strength shower that occurs between April 16-25 every year. It peaks next week on the night of April 22, 2024. Meteor showers 2024 — When is the next one? | Space

Thursday, April 18 – Adult Autism Day & Pinata Day & World Amateur Radio Day

How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar? Nobody knows. / A guitar is just a cello after taxes.

..........Though your brother's bound and gagged..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Chicago

^^ Laws of Robotics: 1) A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2) A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3) A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking... --Submitted by FNOG

Moonbeam: Only when I was singing did I feel loved. --Maria Callas

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: The Final Eclipse! There are dozens of examples being shared online, but among the most quoted involve the fact that the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) will be firing up the Large Hadron Collider on that day for the first time in two years. Many online are linking the celestial event to the restart of the device that, more than a decade ago, found the Higgs boson, which many misleadingly label the “God particle”. The Solar Eclipse Is the Super Bowl for Conspiracists | WIRED

Audio of the Week: Here is Songs of 1944 Part 1.Songs from 1944 (Part One) (youtube.com) --Found for us by jb of ks … also born in 1944.

Yet conflict, rising inequalities, persistent injustices, humanity’s war on nature, and a global financial system that is outdated, dysfunctional and unfair, are blocking the path to peace. --António Guterre

Yeah, well, what if the guitar is just a supersized ukulele? / What did the deadhead say when she ran out of weed? OMG this music stinks.

..........Is this not the way it seems..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Cowgirl In The Sand

^^^ Most people couldn't tell you what movie had the first ever robot in motion picture history. The answer is a 1918 silent film called The Master Mystery - which starred Harry Houdini (the famous magician and escape artist).

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If we were all forced to wear a warning label, what would yours say? --Submitted by FNOG

Weird Word of the Week: Bing - British slang for a woman or girl, but it is always disparaging and offensive and signals the user as lower class and unrefined. It’s also now rather dated. World Wide Words: Bint

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make inexpensive soft drinks. Add Canada Dry to fruit juice for a low-cost and healthy beverage. Canada Dry®: Wacky Uses ~~This doesn't strike me as a wacky use. It seems like the primary reason you make the stuff is to add it to other stuff.

A clean shot is when you throw the guitar into the toilet without hitting the sides. / Mary's Gibson Les Paul Tribute was possessed by a demon and no matter how well she played it sounded like fingernails on a blackboard. It was like a lawsuit. Everyone was relieved when the case was closed.

...........And your days will be filled with love..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Pre-Road Downs

^^^^ Does the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz count as a robot? In L Frank Baum's novel, Ozma of Oz, the first-ever introduction of a humanoid-appearance mechanical man that would satisfy the later "humanoid robot" definition occurred in 1907 - some fifteen years before the word "robot" was coined. Tik-Tok was powered with a trio of clockwork movements for his thinking, movement, and speech, none of which he could wind up himself.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You know what they say...April snow, earthquake, and eclipse bring May flowers. --Cory Orcutt --Submitted by jm of ks

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Fanexpo Cleveland (12-14, Cleveland,OH) An incredible array of media gusts – LOTR, Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, AHSOKA (whatever that is) Celebrities | FAN EXPO Cleveland (fanexpohq.com)

My Solution of the Week: We build a Con Man Hall of Fame. We induct Ponzi and P T Barnum and Madoff...whoever. Then we declare Trump the greatest Con Man of all time. He's the best, the biggest, and all the other stuff he keeps saying about himself. Perhaps then he can retire … happy that he's better than every other con man ... but retire is the key word.

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Triennial Earth-Sun Summit (TESS, 7-12, Dallas, TX) participation by the entire Heliophysics community. Triennial Earth-Sun Summit 2024 | AGU

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Widower

The difference between an electric guitar and an onion is that nobody cries when you cut up the guitar. / The difference between an electric guitar and a trampoline is that you remove your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

..........Tin soldiers and Nixon coming..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Ohio

^^^^^ 1) ADIBOT, 2) Ameca, 3) Atlas, 4) Asimo, 5) Automower, 6) Big Dog, 7) Bot Care, 8)Bot Handy, 9) Da Vinci systems, 10) Domino's delivery robot, 11) Leka, 12) Nao, 13) Pepper, 14)Robear, 15) Robo-fish, 16) RoBoHon, 17) Roomba, 18) Shakey, 19) SNAG, 20) Sofia, 21) Spot, 22) Starship delivery robots, 23) Telepresence robot, 24) Walker X, 25) Waymo 25 Real Robots That Exist Today: Real-Life Robots in Everyday Life | Trusted Since 1922 (rd.com)

Quote of the Week: This guitar is such a pal. It’s a psychiatrist. It’s a doggone bartender. It’s a housewife. This guy is everything. Whenever I find that I’ve got a problem, I’ll go pick my guitar up and play. It’s the greatest pal in the whole world. --Les Paul

Second Observation of the Week: April 12: In ancient Roman religion, Ceres was a goddess of agriculture, grain crops, fertility and motherly relationships. April 12 was the opening of Her 7 day Festival, Ludi Cereales, which included the popular Ceres' games, i.e. the Cereal Games. ~~The Original Bowl Games

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If he's selling sneakers and bibles that can only mean he ran out of classified documents. --Submitted by pj of ks

Today's Peace of History, April 12, 1937: 60,000 students across the US took part in the first nationwide student strike. The protest was against participation in any war.

You can make a chainsaw sound like an electric guitar by adding vibrato. / My computer nerd cousin bought a rhythm guitar so he could play algorithms.

..........Now your crosses are burning fast..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Southern Man

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, April 12, 2024, 6-String ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Jazz is about being in the moment. --Herbie Hancock

Cost of War:

• As of 04/11/24 State Department Costs: $233,375,633,177.
• As of 04/04/24 State Department Costs: $232,815,636,279.
• As of 04/11/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,210,945,818,640.
• As of 04/04/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,209,381,704,390.
• As of 04/04/24 Homeland Security: $1,164,892,923,413.
• As of 04/11/24 Veterans Care: $3,604,541,387,056.
• As of 04/11/24 Homeland Security: $1,165,201,198,338.
• As of 04/04/24 Veterans Care: $3,592,684,963,426.
• As of 04/11/24 Military Costs: $3,079,107,218,499.
• As of 04/04/24 Military Costs: $3,077,919,663,375.
• As of 04/11/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,293,173,046,361.
• As of 04/04/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,277,396,947,787.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Together, let us take action now to build a more inclusive, sustainable, and peaceful world for all. --António Guterres, UN Secretary-General

Famous Last Words: ...to save your doggone soul. --Big Joe Turner Shake, Rattle, and Roll

..........The eagle files with the dove..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Love The One You're With

An electric guitar is like a SCUD missile; both are offensive and inaccurate. / My stratocaster named her daughter Amanda Lynn.

May Peace set the tempo
And Joy play the melody
prairie mama
christine

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