Famous First Words: An ordinance to dissolve the union... Tennessee Secession Law
Happy Faerie Day!! We were so poor the tooth fairy left food stamps under our pillow. / Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
Hot Joke: The National Weather Service has just published instructions on how to bake a lasagna in your mailbox.
..........Sweet, wonderful you.........Fleetwood Mac …..You Make Lovin' Fun
Activism is my rent for living on the planet. --Alice Walker
It is a rainy Friday. It is a gentle morning rain falling from a featureless slate gray sky. The whole world smells of rain and dampness. Puck and I walk through the precipitation. I can see how far apart the drops are by the tiny circles they make in the puddles and small streams**. The patch of ground that was, just yesterday, made bare of its bushes and vines is of particular interest to us both. I can clearly see how far back the yard goes and how densely covered it was. Puck can smell places that have never been accessible before. Also this end of the block looks different, looks clean and ready for something. The rain begins to pick up, so we head back to the house. My shoulders are wet and Puck stops to shake off water now and again. The house is warm and smells of coffee. I fix some – ½ n ½ and sweetener -and sit down here at my computer to write to you. What a great morning.
** In one of the Thursday Next novels, Thursday's daughter, Jenny, is working out the math of how we can move between falling raindrops and never get wet. I think it's One Of Our Thursdays Is Missing but I could be wrong.
Hope your weekend is filled with sundew and beebread, ePistliers
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Wow, I made it through another day without needing an AR-15. --Submitted by ss of kc
Meditation of the Week: What do you say when God sneezes?
The neighborhood fairies are having a yard sale. Everything is 60% off. That's what I call fair retail. / Not all fairy tales begin with “Once upon a time...” Some start “If my judgeship is confirmed”...
Hot Joke: I just saw a fire hydrant chasing a pack of dogs.
..........Pull out the stops, turn on the light.........Fleetwood Mac …..Morning Rain
Trivia Questions: It is the 513th Anniversary of Henry the VIII coronation.
- ^ How many of his six wives can you name?
- ^^ Who were Henry's parents?
- ^^^ What two institutions did Henry create that still endure today?
- ^^^^ Which of Henry's children actually ruled England?
- ^^^^^ Next to which wife is Henry buried?
Big Hello: Tere - Estonian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Where do I keep my money? In my memories. --Submitted by bc of tx
Max Picture of the Week: Max and his bare feet with grandma and her Jayhawk socks
Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 78% of library chairs are strategically placed one foot further away from the nearest outlet than your charging cord will reach. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
The sprite in my backyard had a double major in physics and genealogy. She became the fairy of relativity. / Rapunzel has been removed from the fairy tale shelf and moved to the hairy tale one.
Hot Joke: I bought a loaf of bread and a quart of milk, but when I got home I had toast and yogurt
.........Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.........Fleetwood Mac …..Don't Stop
Moonbeam: History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools. --Ambrose Beirce
Puzzle of the Week: Take the last name of a famous 20th-century American. The 5th, 6th, 7th, and 1st, 2nd, and 3rd letters, in that order, name a European capital. Who is the person, and what capital is it? --NPR Puzzle Sunday 6/19/22
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right. --Submitted by ff of ks
Week of the Week: Old Time Fiddlers Week (20-25) --The worst pub I've ever been in was called “The Fiddle”. It was a vile inn. / The Hobbit who plays fiddle at the local pub is known as the Lord of the Strings.
The neighborhood fairies held a Renaissance Carnival on a tiny island in the middle of our koi pond. The admission ticket is a fair fairy faire ferry fare. / The fairy codmother came to our house and granted wishes for every fish in the aquarium.
Hot Joke: My kite crashed and burned,
..........Lightning strikes maybe once, maybe twice.........Fleetwood Mac …..Gypsy
^ Henry's wives: 1) Catherine of Aragon 2) Anne Boleyn 3) Jane Seymour 4) Anne of Cleves 5) Catherine Howard 6) Katherine Parr
Almanac: It is Friday, June 24, 2022. The moon will be new next Tuesday (28th) and is in Taurus. It is Celebration of the Senses Day, International Fairy Day or Faerie Day, and Take Your Dog To Work Day. In Europe Midsummer Day is celebrated and Peru celebrates Countryman's Day/Day of the Indian/Dia del Indio. In Zaire it is Constitution Day.
Among those born on this day were E. I. DuPont (1771), John Hughes (1797), Henry Ward Beecher (1813), Gustavus Franklin Swift (1839), Amrose Bierce (1842), Jack Dempsey (1895), Harry Partch (1901), Norman Cousins (1912), Fred Hoyle (1915), John Ciardi (1916), Jack Carter (1923), David McTaggart (1932), Mick Fleetwood (1942), Arthur Brown (1942), Jeff Beck (1944), and Astro (1957).
On June twenty-fourth 10th recorded perihelion of Halley's Comet (451), Eton College was founded (1441), Henry VIII was crowned (1509), Henry VIII divorced Anne of Cleves (4th, 1540), the first republican constitution was adopted in France (1793), Tennessee seceded (11th and last, 1861), Joe DiMaggio hit 2 homeruns in one inning (1936), Hopalong Cassidy debuted (NBC, 1949), Zanaibar became independent (1963), and Resurrection City closed (1968).
Night Sky, 6/24: 40 minutes before sunrise 5 planets will be visible in the sky along with the moon. Mercury, Venus, the moon, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn will appear in their order from the sun. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Image of the Week: Resurrection City, 1968 This protest was hosted by the Poor People's Campaign and here is an article about the PPC's event last weekend. Poor People’s Campaign holds Moral March on Washington | WTOP News
This Week: Saturday, June 25 – Day of the Seafarer & Global Beatles Day & National Catfish Day
Sunday, June 26 – America;s Kids Day & Bar Code Day & Harry Potter Day & National Canoe Day
Night Sky, 6/26: After dark, look southeast for orange Antares, "the Betelgeuse of summer." (Both are 1st-magnitude "red" supergiants). Around and upper right of Antares the other, whiter stars of upper Scorpius form their distinctive pattern. The rest of the Scorpion curls down toward the horizon.
Monday, June 27 – Industrial Workers of the World Day & National Sunglasses Day & Celebrate Joy Day
Tuesday, June 28 – International Body Piercing Day & National Logistics Day & Tau Day
Wednesday, June 29 – International Mud Day & World Camera Day
Night Sky, 6/29: This is the time of year when the two brightest stars of summer, Arcturus and Vega, are about equally high overhead soon after dark: Arcturus toward the southwest, Vega toward the east. Arcturus and Vega are 37 and 25 light-years away, respectively. They represent the two commonest types of naked-eye star: a yellow-orange K giant and a white A main-sequence star. They're 150 and 50 times brighter than the Sun, respectively — which, combined with their nearness, is why they dominate the evening sky.
Thursday, June 30 – Asteroid Day & Disabled Veterans Day & NOW (National Organization for Women) Day
The brownie who lives behind our curtains majored in philosophy. We call him ThinkerBell. / A fairy dust what a fairy must.
Hot Joke: It's so hot in Kansas even Kris Kobach's heart is melting.
..........Woman taken by the wind.........Fleetwood Mac …..Rhiannon
^^ Henry VIII was born at Greenwich on 28 June 1491, the second son of Henry VII and Elizabeth of York. He became heir to the throne on the death of his elder brother, Prince Arthur, in 1502 and succeeded in 1509.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My aunt got a divorce and I asked how she felt. She said, “I thought I had an anxiety disorder, but it turns out it was just your uncle. --Amy Silverberg --Submitted by FNOG
Moonbeam: The classroom should be an entrance into the world, not an escape from it. --John Ciardi
Video of the Week: Summer Solstice Blessings - YouTube
Poem of the Week: Roses are red, Limes are Chartreuse, Greg Abbot's a dick, And so is Ted Cruz. --available as a shirt from Frogtee
We can't just hope for a brighter day, we have to work for a brighter day. --Dolly Parton
The hermit fairy in our backyard never showers. She's called StinkerBell. / My neighbor has a fairy with an eating disorder. Her name is Thumbulimia
Hot Joke: Remember to drink lots of water and stay indoors between 11 am and November 4th.
..........I want to be with you everywhere.........Fleetwood Mac …..Everywhere
^^^ Henry VIII established the Church of England and the Royal Navy.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: 2022: The year it was cheaper to smoke grass than to cut it.
Weird Word of the Week: Tautochrone – a curve on which an object falling under gravity will reach the bottom in the same amount of time, no matter from where it starts. World Wide Words: Tautochrone
Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie and his bare feet with grandma in her Jayhawk socks
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Deodorize (a closet, garment storage bags, shoes) Sprinkle or place a whole open box of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda in the bag, the closet, and/or the shoes. Arm & Hammer®: Wacky Uses
Fairies never ask for directions; they just wing it. / Vegan fairies tell fairy kales.
Hot Joke: I tried to water the lawn but steam came out of the sprinkler.
...........In that house on the hill.........Fleetwood Mac …..Big Love
^^^^ Henry had a daughter Mary with Catherine of Aragon, Elizabeth with Anne Boleyn, and a son Edward with Jane Seymour. All three children would rule England after Henry’s death, with Elizabeth, the last monarch of the Tudor dynasty, ruling for a celebrated 45 years.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you want to keep your feet on the ground, miss a couple of car payments. --Submitted by rc of kc
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Magic City Con 2022 (24-26, Birmingham, AL) –Featuring the Valhalla Cafe Magic City Convention - Home
Actual Science Conference of the Week: Summer Blast – Super STEM Week: (2024, Topeka, KS) --hands-on activities to encourage engagement with Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math. Summer Blast- Super STEM Week! (topekacollegiate.org)
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: (Charles) Lindbergh → Berlin
Cinderella knew this was her real fairy godmother because the new dress had actual, decent-sized pockets in it. / That time when all those fairy tale characters were forced into Shrek's swamp is known in fairy history books as Marsh Madness.
Hot Joke: It's so humid in Kansas people are surfing; they're surfing heat waves
..........Let's give it a try........Fleetwood Mac …..Tell Me Lies
^^^^^ Henry died at Whitehall, England, on January 28, 1547, aged 55. He was buried next to his third wife, Jane Seymour, in St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle.
My Own Writing of the Week: The worse part of being forced to not like sex was frigidity, which is basically defined as a woman’s inability to have a vaginal orgasm. Good doctors wrote scholarly papers about it and published them in respectable psychology journals. It was declared epidemic and was listed as one of the causes of the breakdown of contemporary marriage and the family unit. {Yes, the family has been disintegrating since at least the 1940s). There were lots of theories...latent lesbianism...god just made them that way. Not a single article suggested that men were simply not very skilled at making love. They should have given us all a copy of that cute little book from the 20s instead of the kotex pamphlet.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it. --Mae West
--Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, fantasies, and lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution
Quote of the Week: Literature is the most agreeable way of ignoring life. --Fernando Pessoa
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Insane how the US grew up right next to Canada and we turned out like this—it's like when one sibling goes to Harvard and the other dies pantsless in a meth lab explosion. --Emily Murnane --Submitted by MMS
Today's Peace of History, June 24, 1980: A general strike was held in El Salvador against death squads, primarily military or paramilitary units carrying out political assassinations and intimidation as part of the Salvadoran government's counterinsurgency strategy.
Putin asked a fairy: Where will I be in July? The fairy answered: I see you in a limo driving through Kiev. Everyone is cheering. Putin asked, “Am I waving to them?” “No,” the fairy answered, “the coffin is closed”.
Hot Joke: The wasps have removed their yellow jackets and are flying nude.
..........And she's tryin' to make a devil out of me.........Fleetwood Mac …..Black Magic Woman
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle June 24, 2022, Elfin ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: A library is the delivery room for the birth of ideas, a place where history comes to life. --Norman Cousins
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: When is there going to be a tampon ad that reflexes my point of view? Black single Dad tampon rap: Your body is changing in mysterious ways, It's nature; nature don't play, It happens about every 28 days, Period --Brian Babylon Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 6/18/22
Cost of War:
- As of 6/23/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $181,087,784,952
- As of 6/16/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $180,535,170,320
- As of 6/23/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,064,900,159,716.
- As of 6/16/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,063,356,213,834.
- As of 6/23/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,108,405,575,150.
- As of 6/16/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,107,802,163,627.
- As of 6/23/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,497,475,865,743.
- As of 6/16/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,485,713,092,430.
- As of 6/23/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,968,220,571,365.
- As of 6/16/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,967,048,388,785.
- As of 6/23/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,820,094,685,917.
- As of 6/16/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,804,523,483,765.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept. --Angela Davis
Famous Last Words: ...I stepped into the room. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
..........When the moon was full and bright.........Fleetwood Mac …..Tango in the Night
Hot Joke: In Kansas, farmers are giving chickens crushed ice to prevent them from laying hard boiled eggs.
The Fairy Chess master always takes extra minutes to decide her opening move. She wants pawn time. / That fairy who lives under the oak tree is a philosopher. He's always searching for the tooth.
May Peace inform your magic
And Joy educate your mind
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh: Submitted by jb of ks
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