Famous First Words: The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Mudville nine that day... Ernest L Thayer Casey at the Bat
It's World Bicycle Day! Two nerds are riding along on a tandem bicycle when, suddenly, the one on the front slams on the brakes, gets off, and starts letting air out of the tires. The one on the back says: "HEY! What are you doing that for?!" The first nerd says, "My seat was too high and was hurting my butt. I wanted to lower it a bit." So the one in the back has had enough. He jumps off, loosens his own seat and spins it round to face the other direction. Now it's the first guy's turn to wonder what's going on. "What are you doing?" he asks his friend. "Look, mate," says the rider in the back, "if you're going to do stupid stuff like that, I'm going home!!"
..........Darkest of night with the moon shining bright.........Curtis Mayfield …..Superfly
So with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings. --Allen Ginsberg The Path of Peace
It is a gorgeous Friday morning. 62°F is nearly perfect and there is no breeze to make it feel cooler or to make the tree branches dance. Even the willows are staid and calm as the rising sunlight slowly reveals their beauty and majesty. On our walk the crows are discussing something important in the stand of cottonwoods in the park, sparrows are quarreling and frogs are singing from the mosquito farm at the end of the cul-du-sac; but the throbbing rhythm section is the hum of traffic unseen but definitely heard. The sky is nearly devoid of clouds. A few pretty, puffy mounds of white can be seen in the west but even the jet trails disappear almost as soon as they are released. Puck barks at squirrels he knows are in the tree but I cannot see them. As we come back to our house. It smells of fresh coffee and stale incense. I pair the coffee (creamed and sweetened) with a blueberry muffin – uuummm, ummm. And now I get to write to you. What a day!!
Have a wheelie good weekend, ePistliers
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Little Known Fact: Before the crowbar was invented, crows simply drank at home. --Submitted by jm of ks
The other day on a ride, I was speeding down a narrow, twisting, mountain road. Along comes a man who was driving very slowly uphill toward me, honking his horn and shouting at me. "PIG! PIG!!" he yelled. "PIG! PIG!!" So I flipped him the finger and, as I buzzed by him, shouted back some things I dare not repeat. Still fuming about this awful man and his shouting, I turned the corner and promptly collided with a pig.
..........Now it's a mighty long way down the dusty trail.........Ian Hunter with Mott the Hoople …..All The Way From Memphis
Trivia Questions: Happy Doughnut Day
- ^ About how many doughnuts are made in the US each year?
- ^^ Which American writer was the first to describe doughnuts in print?
- ^^^ What are spudnuts?
- ^^^^ How many doughnuts per day did Renee Zellweger eat to gain weight for the Bridget Jones sequel?
- ^^^^^ How did doughnuts become associated with the Salvation Army?
Big Hello: Mokom – Efik (Nigeria & Cameroon) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more. --Submitted by cf of ks
Max Picture of the Week: Max enjoying a laugh with a friend
Fake Library Statistics of the Week: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the start of the Summer Reading Program. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
A nerd was walking down the sidewalk one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredibly shiny new bicycle. The first nerd was stunned by his friend's sweet ride and asked, "WOW! Where did you get such a nice bike?" The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking home, minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want!'" The second nerd nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
..........Vers elle s'en va tout mon espoir.........Josephine Baker …..J'ai Deux Amours
Moonbeam: African slavery, as it exists in the United States, is a moral, a social, and a political blessing. --Jefferson Davis
Meditation of the Week: Why do drive-through ATMs have Braille on the number pads?
Puzzle of the Week: Think of a popular two-word song title in 7 letters. If you have the right one, you can rearrange the letters to name an animal and the sound it makes. What is it? Here's a hint: The title is in Spanish.
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Quick Animal Fact: Most fish do not attend church. --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief
Week of the Week: Great American Brass Band Weekend (2-5) What's made out of brass and sounds like Tom Jones? Trombones / Some of us lumberjacks are starting an all brass quartet we named it Tuba Four.
Jack and Jill have just climbed L'Alpe d'Huez, one of the steepest peaks in the French Alps, on their tandem. "Phew, that was a tough climb," said Jill, leaning over, breathing hard. "That climb was so hard, and we were going so slow, I thought we were never going to make it." "Yeah, good thing I kept the brakes on," said Jack, "or we'd have slid all the way back down!"
..........But he could play a guitar just like a-ringin' a bell.........Chuck Berry …..Johnny B Goode
^ Over 10 billion doughnuts are made in the US each year. Canada, meanwhile, produces fewer doughnuts (about 1 billion) but with its lower population it has more doughnut shops per capita than any country in the world. (Moms Demand Action KS)
Almanac: It is Friday June 3, 2022. The moon will enter the first quarter on Tuesday (7th) and is in Gemini. It is Doughnut Day or Donut Day (Salvation Army), Horseradish Days, National Gun Violence Awareness Day, National Stuffed Shrimp Scholars Day, and World Bicycle Day. In the Bahamas it is Labor Day.
Among those born on this day were Richard Cobden (1804), Jefferson Davis (1808), Ransom Olds (1864), George V (1865), Maurice Evans (1901), Charles Drew (1904), Josephine Baker (1906), Paulette Goddard (Marion Levy, 1911), Tony Curtis (1925), Allen Ginsberg (1926), Colleen Dewhurst (1926), Chuck Berry (1929), Curtis Mayfield (1942), and Ian Hunter (1946).
On June third De Soto claimed Florida for Spain (1539), baseball uniforms were introduced (1851), John Lynch became the first black major party national convention chair (Rep, 1884), Casey at the Bat was published (1888), the Supreme Court ruled child labor laws unconstitutional (1918), the Gila Wilderness Area was established by the Forest Service (1924), the first negro was graduated from the US Naval Academy (1949), Dragnet debuted on radio (1949), the Rolling Stones began their first US tour (1964), and Gemini 4 was launched (1966).
Night Sky,6/3: After dark, Vega shines as the brightest star very high in the east. Barely lower left of it is 4th-magnitude Epsilon Lyrae, the Double-Double. Epsilon forms one corner of a roughly equilateral triangle with Vega and Zeta Lyrae. The triangle is less than 2° on a side, hardly the width of your thumb at arm's length. Binoculars easily resolve Epsilon. And a 4-inch telescope at 100× or more should resolve each of Epsilon's wide components into a tight pair. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Image of the Week: These are children in the KS state house thanking Gov Kelly for declaring June 3rd National Gun Violence Awareness Day.
- This Week: Saturday, June 4 – The Wicked World of Croquet Day & National Black Bear Day
- Sunday, June 5 – Whit Sunday & National Moonshine Day & Festival of Popular Delusions Day
Night Sky,6/5: Eta Aquarids Meteor Shower. Eta Aquarids are best visible in the hours before dawn and are more readily visible from the tropical and southern hemisphere regions.
- Monday, June 6 – Atheists Pride Day & Yo-Yo Day & Little League Day
- Tuesday, June 7 – Bartender Day & Daniel Boone Day & World Food Safety Day
Night Sky,6/7: Four bright morning gems are scattered along an imaginary diagonal line in the eastern sky before sunrise. Likely, Jupiter is the easiest to locate. Find it nearly 25° up in the east-southeast. Mars, 5.3° to the lower left of Jupiter, continues to march away from the Jovian Giant. The Red Planet is dimmer, but easily spotted. Brilliant Venus, 7° up in the east-northeast, is 36.8° to the lower left of Jupiter. Saturn, the dimmer of the four morning planets, is the highest planet, over 30° above the south-southeast horizon.
- Wednesday, June 8 – Ghostbusters Day & Upsy Daisy Day & World Oceans Day
- Thursday, June 9 – Toy Industry Day & National Sex Day
A very devout cyclist dies and goes to heaven. St Peter meets him at the gate. The first thing the cyclist asks is if there are bicycles in heaven. "Sure," says St. Peter, "let me show you," and he leads the guy into the finest Velodrome you can imagine. "This is great," the cyclist says. "It certainly is," says St. Peter. "You will have a custom bike and the best cycling clothes you've ever seen, and your personal masseuse will always be available." As they speak, a blur streaks by them on the boards, riding a gold-plated bike. "Wow!" the cyclist exclaims. "That guy was so fast that can only be Mark Cavendish!" "No," says St. Peter, "that was God on the bike. He only thinks he's Mark Cavendish."
..........The Ford got hot and wouldn't do no more.........Chuck Berry …..Maybellene
^^ Washington Irving, who is best known as the author of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, described the pastry as "balls of sweetened dough, fried in hog's fat, and called doughnuts, or olykoeks.” He is widely believed to be the first writer to wax poetic about these delicious concoctions.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Imagine worshiping a god who, despite creating 100 billion galaxies in the observable universe, is really mad about your dildos. --Eric Sprankle --Submitted by Laughing in Disbelief
Moonbeam: Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness. --Allen Ginsberg
Video of the Week: Josephine Baker (1925) Josephine Baker dancing the original charleston - YouTube
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: What will be the next long awaited sequel to an old movie? Citizen Kane II: Citizen Musk … an eccentric billionaire baffles everyone with these mysterious last words “Buy Crypto”. --Adam Burke Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, May 28, 2022
And who knows the path of peace; let them be able and upright. --Allen Ginsberg The Path of Peace
A pedestrian stepped off the curb and into the road without looking and promptly got knocked flat by a passing cyclist. "You were really lucky there," said the cyclist. "What on earth are you talking about! That really hurt!" said the pedestrian, still on the pavement, rubbing his head. The cyclist replied, "Well, usually I drive a bus!"
..........All I want for Christmas is a rock 'n roll 'lectric guitar.........Chuck Berry …..Run Rudolph Run
^^^ Spudnuts were made with mashed potatoes or potato starch, potato doughnuts were once so popular they had their own fast food chain: Spudnuts. They were the first fast food doughnut chain to open in Los Angeles.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Every time a Republican quotes a bible verse, an angel projectile vomits. --Submitted by SDS
Weird Word of the Week: Rhinotillexomania – nose picking World Wide Words: Rhinotillexomania
Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie contemplating life
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean dirt, grime, and scuff marks from doors, stoves, laminated tabletops, linoleum floors, and tile. Sprinkle Arm & Hammer Baking Soda on a damp sponge, wipe clean, and dry. Arm & Hammer®: Wacky Uses
Learn to ride a bike. You will not regret it if you live. --Mark Twain / Marriage is a wonderful invention; then again so is a bicycle repair kit. --Billy Connolly
...........Crusin' and playin' the radio..........Chuck Berry …..No Particular Place To Go
^^^^ Renée Zellweger needed to gain weight fast to reprise her role as the eponymous heroine in 2004's Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. The actress claimed to have eaten “a Big Mac and chips, potatoes swimming in butter, pizza, milkshakes, and 20 doughnuts” every day to hit her weight goal in time for shooting.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: OMG I just found out that Albert Einstein was a real person. All this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist. --Submitted by Heinlein Society
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Awesome Con (3-5, DC) A 3-Day celebration of geek culture, bringing over 70,000 fans together with their favorite stars from across comics, movies, tv, toys, games, and more! Awesome Con 2022 | Washington, DC Comic Con | June 3 - 5, 2022 (awesome-con.com)
Actual Science Conference of the Week: Product Camp (2-3, Gdynia, Poland) ProductCamp is an immersive 2-day event for Product Managers, Designers, Researchers, Growth Hackers and all professionals who discover, design, manage and grow digital products. Home - productcamp.pl
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: La Bamba --> Lamb, baa
Actually, getting arrested by a cop on a bike wasn't the most embarrassing part; it was riding to jail in that basket. / Date a biker, they break bones not hearts.
..........I wanna go where you go.........Josephine Baker ….Then I'll Be Happy
^^^^^ During WWI, Salvation Army workers would bring soldiers doughnuts and coffee in the trenches of France to cheer them up and remind them of home.
My Own Writing of the Week:Masturbation was my first meditation and I hope I will never abandon it. I have used it to relieve tension, to feel peace, to entertain myself, and to touch that divinity again and again. It has taken me to almost as many places as books. It can make me love the world around me and make me feel as if I belonged to that world in return. Since I was in the 8th grade, it couldn't have been drugs or alcohol; and, Great Balls of Fire, it wasn't the music.
The skill has allowed me to wait, to maintain myself between partners and between visits with them. I didn't have sex with someone else because my loins were aching; rather, I had sex because I wanted to make love to that person. This was very liberating. I waited much later than many of my high school friends. It has kept me from feeling alone. --From Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, fantasies, and lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution by Christine Smith
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A guy walks into the Uvalde Police Department for a job interview. The officer behind the desk says, “Can you wait over there?” “Sure,” the guy answers.”Congratulations, you got the job.” --Submitted by 98%
Today's Peace of History, June 3, 1957: Thousands of scientists, led by Barry Commoner and Nobel laureate Linus Pauling, issued a call for banning nuclear weapons testing: “As scientists we have knowledge of the dangers involved and therefore a special responsibility to make those dangers known.”
You know you're a bike nerd when you can double the price of your car by putting your bike on the rack. / My biggest fear is that when I die my wife will sell my bicycles for what I told her they cost.
..........For there's a new song rising.........Ian Hunter with Mott the Hoople …..Hymn for the Dudes
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, June 3, 2022, Cyclical ePistle Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence KS
Moonbeam: America I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel. --Allen Ginsberg
Cost of War:
As of 6/02/22 War on Terror Costs since 2001: $179,416,434,538As of 5/26/22 War on Terror Costs since 2001: $178,861,313,289
As of 6/02/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,060,231,367,375.
As of 5/26/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,058,681,457,709.
As of 6/02/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,106,589,923,123.
As of 5/26/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,105,987,203,809.
As of 6/02/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,462,085,158.528.
As of 5/26/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,450,337,131.165.
As of 6/02/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,964,675,807,963.
As of 5/26/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,963,498,946,234.
As of 6/02/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,772,994,666,915.
As of 5/26/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,757,364,312,917.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
Wishing: In gladness and in safety, may all beings be at ease. --Buddha
Famous Last Words: ...stop for tea and gas. --Allen Ginsberg Wichita Vortex Sutra
..........Want some coke. Want some weed.........Curtis Mayfield …..Pusherman
Four wheels – move the body. Two wheels – move the soul. / Jill's plan is to cross her Bianchi with a rose bush and start a bicycle pedal farm.
May Peace score your soundtrack
And Joy write your lyrics
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:
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