Famous First Words: In a sense, I am Jacob Horner. --John Barth The End of the Road
It's Hug Your Cat Day...like they'd let you do that. You hear, now and again, that all dogs go to heaven. You never hear that about cats. I think purrgatory is the best they can do. / Recently two adult cats came to live at our house. The cats have been very patient with Puck and have never resorted to using the paws claws in their rental agreement.
..........Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.........Tom Jones …..What's New Pussycat?
Peace is not passive, it is active. --Hubert Humphrey
It is a beautiful Friday morning. A 59°F temperature suggests a sweater for the Puck walk. The sky is absolutely clear of clouds and light, light blue everywhere. Even the jet trail behind the high flying plane only lasts as long as the width of my hand. Birds dominate the day. There is an unseen quarrel of sparrows quarreling in the small stand of small trees to my left; and behind me a woodpecker, also unseen, taps out rhythm intermittently. Flashes of red and brown dart across the neighborhood; but the visible birds are silent. At the end of the cul-de-sac Puck bravely chases a squirrel from someone's yard and then brags about it to any dog listening. I notice that the jet trail has already disappeared. We turn back towards home, stopping only to investigate the front tire of a car parked on the street. Wonder what is on that tire, why that tire and not the others along the way. As we approach the house a murder of crows fly overhead. They are seen and heard while in flight. The flight seems to be some sort of disagreement with a hawk who is silently headed west at incredible speed. Back inside we wipe the mud from our shoes. The brewing coffee smells wonderful and I doctor up a cup which delights both my nose and my mouth. Ah, all that's left is to light a stick of incense and sit down to think about you. What a day!!
Hope your weekend is purrfect, ePistliers.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Atheism isn't a religion, it's a personal relationship with reality.
Cats always getting their way is merely claws and effect. / Ours cats are so spoiled they have a Claude Meownet hanging in the litter box.
..........Well, there's thirteen hundred and fifty-two guitar pickers in Nashville.........The Lovin' Spoonful …..Nashville Cats
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Wild Bill Hickok!
^ What was Wild Bill's real name?
^^ What did Bill do when he was in Kansas?
^^^ Do you have any idea with whom he had a gun duel that was written up in Harper's Magazine?
^^^^ Wild Bill served as marshall in 2 Kansas towns; do you know which ones?
^^^^^ How did Wild Bill die?
Big Hello: Kuzu zangpo la – Dzongkha (South Tibet) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The word homeowner has the word meow in it. Cats everywhere say “you're welcome”.
Max Picture of the Week: Max the lumberjack
Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Librarian shoes: 33% sensible yet stylish...33% sensible w/ no style...33% simply no style...1% thigh-high boots under a long skirt https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
It was somewhere outside Litter Box, near the edge of the mudroom, when the catnip began to take hold... / I really hate it when my cat sits and stares at me while I'm doing laundry. But it's humming “Whisker While You Work” that drives me nuts.
..........Well, I quit those days and my redneck ways.........Elton John …..Honky Cat
Moonbeam: We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies, Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause. --Julia Ward Howe
Meditation of the Week: If you had been given a different name at birth, would you be a different person?
Puzzle of the Week: This challenge comes from listener John Sieger, of Wauwatosa, WI. Name a famous living movie star. Insert an R in the middle of the first name, and drop the last two letters of the last name. You'll get a familiar French phrase. What is it? --NPR Puzzle Sunday 6/22/22
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Gas is so high, the letter carrier is working from home. She called yesterday to read my bill to me. --Submitted by INRITH
Week of the Week: Mule Week (24-29) A mule walks into a barn in Moscow. The bartender looks at him and says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you.” “Really,” replies the mule, “There's a drink named Boris?” / Nature made mules infertile because they would be half-assed parents.
We have a sizable catnip patch along the walk from the front to the back of the house. The cats are furever trying to get Puck to try it. They tell him it's like weed for cats. / Don't Worry. Be tabby
..........If we like we stay for maybe quite a while.........Peggy Lee …..Siamese Cat Song (Lady the Tramp)
^ Wild Bill was born James Butler Hickok in Homer (now Troy Grove) Illinois.
Almanac: It is Friday, May 27, 2022. The moon will be new on Monday (30th) and is in Taurus. It is Cellophane Tape Day. In Afghanistan it is Independence day (1921); in Nigeria it is Children's Day and in Turkey it is Constitution Day. Because it is the fourth Friday it is Heat Awareness Day and National Title Track Day. Because it is the Friday before Memorial Day it is Don't Fry Day and National Wig Out Day. Finally, because it is the last Friday in May it is Hug Your Cat Day.
Among those born on this day were Francis Beaufort (1774), Cornelius Vandrebilt (1794), Amelia Bloomer (1818), Julia Ward Howe (1819), Henry Wylde (1822), Wild Bill Hickok (James Butler, 1837), Dashiell Hammett (1894), Hubert Humphrey (1911), Vincent Price (1911), John Cheever (1912), Sam Snead (1912), Herman Wouk (1915), Henry Kissinger (1923), John Barth (1930), Harlan Ellison (1934), Lee Meriwether (1935), Louis Gossett Jr. (1936), Rene Koering (1940), and Aleksandr Aleksandrovich Volkov (1948).
On May twenty-seventh Denmark and Sweden signed a ceasefire (1660), McLean patented his piano (1796), Samuel Morse completed the first telegraph line (1844), the first Preakness Stakes was run (Survivor, 1873), Bubonic plague broke out in San Francisco (1907), Afghanistan achieved sovereignty (1921), Austria banned the Communist Party (1933), the Federal Secuirties Act was signed (1933), the golden gate bridge was dedicated (1937), the US forbade racial discrimination in the war industry (1943), Huis Clos premiered (1944), the first black light was sold (1961), Kennedy announced the US goal to reach the moon (1961), Bob Dylan released Free Wheelin (1963), construction began on Disney World (1969), Trujillo became president of Colombia (1990), and Solzhenitsyn returned to Russia (1994).
Night Sky, 5/27: Bright Capella sets low in the northwest fairly soon after dark these evenings. That leaves Vega and Arcturus as the brightest stars in the evening sky. Vega shines in the east-northeast. Arcturus is now very high toward the south. A third of the way from Arcturus down to Vega look for semicircular Corona Borealis, with 2nd-magnitude Alphecca as its one moderately bright star. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Image of the Week: Denver 5/20/22
This Week: Saturday, May 28 – Amnesty International Founders Day & Menstrual Hygiene Day & Sierra Club Day
Sunday, May 29 – Indianapolis 500 & Learn About Composting Day
Monday, May 30 – Hamburger Day & Memorial Day & Mint Julep Day
Night Sky, 5/30: We might have a brief-but-intense meteor display, thanks to a comet that split apart in 1995 and is apparently still fragmenting. It might happen, as Earth passes through a particularly dense stream of icy particles which the comet left behind in the years 1995, 1897 and 1892. If it does happen, we’ll see a grand display of meteors! And, even if it doesn’t, this comet is one you’ll want to come to know. More information
Tuesday, May 31 – National Smile Day & Save Your Hearing Day & World No-Tobacco Day
Wednesday, June 1 – Oscar the Grouch Day & National Olive Day & World Milk Day
Night Sky, 6/1: Shortly after sunset on June 1 and 2, you can see the waxing crescent moon, complete with earthshine**. It glows near the 2 bright stars of Gemini the Twins, Castor and Pollux.
**Earthshine: the glow caused by sunlight reflected off the earth, especially on the darker portion of a crescent moon.
Thursday, June 2 – Leave the Office Early Day & National Gun Violence Awareness Day
It was a grand party. Pawl McCatney was playing Meowzart. Hairy Catnip, Jr was also in the band and Pawla Abdual was leading the line dance. / Puck tried to teach the cats to fetch but they were clawless.
..........And I'm scratching around in your window pane.........Muddy Waters …..Tom Cat
^^ In his late teens, Wild Bill moved west to Kansas, where a small-scale civil war was raging over slavery. After joining a band of antislavery fighters, the Free State Army of Jayhawkers, he was assigned to protect its leader, controversial politician James H. Lane.
Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Tucker Carlson: Old School Racism Middle School Haircut --Submitted by 98%
Moonbeam: When the unwelcome little unborn shall have seen the light my brain will be lightened, and I shall have a clearer mind. Thank God that even this weary nine months shall come to an end and leave me in possession of my own body and my own soul. --Julia Ward Howe
Video of the Week: “Show these guys that power isn't in the way you pee.” --Take Your Vagina to the RNC
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Not only did I fall off The Diet Wagon, I dragged it into the words, set it on fire, and used the insurance money to buy cupcakes. --Submitted by bc of tx
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Kingsland, Arkansas' water tower naturally features a painting of Johnny Cash's silhouette facing the viewer. Now the water tower has been damaged by a vandal who did what? ...That's right, someone shot a man in Kingland just to watch him pee. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 5/21/22 Seriously: Johnny Cash mural on water tower appears to be urinating amid leak - YouTube
Peace is not appeasement, it is strength. --Herbert Humphrey
Actually the cats were thinking of opening their own catnip dispensary, but a friend of theirs got arrested and charged with a feline-y. So they gave it up. / Next thing you know, Shasta will demand a Furrari.
..........Looking for some new delight.........Peggy Lee …..Alley Cat
^^^ During a poker game, tensions with a former friend, Davis Tutt, came to a head over gambling debts, triggering a stand-off in the town square. The two stood sideways to each other 70 metres apart, before firing simultaneously. Tutt’s shot missed, but Hickok hit Tutt in the ribs and he collapsed and died. Hickok was acquitted of manslaughter and an 1867 Harper’s Magazine article recounting the incident made him famous across the country.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Wife: I have blisters on my hands from the broom. Partner: Next time take the car.”
Weird Word of the Week: Qubit (pronounced cubit) – a quantum bit –computese ### World Wide Words: Qubit
Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie and the orange hardhat
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Use as a deodorant. Dust baking soda under arms. Arm & Hammer®: Wacky Uses
Cats always think they look fe-line! If they could, they'd be pawsitively blushing. / Hint: Mousewash does not improve a cat's breath.
...........Don't bother asking for explanations.........Al Stewart …..Year Of The Cat
^^^^ From 1869 to 1871 Hickok served as a marshal in the Kansas towns of Hays City and Abilene, getting involved in several shootouts. In October 1871, after shooting an Abilene saloon owner, he suddenly glimpsed another figure running towards him out of the corner of his eye and fired twice. It turned out to be his Special Deputy Marshal, Mike Williams. The killing of his own man affected Hickok for the rest of his life. Two months later he was relieved of his duties.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I just replaced the cat litter with 99 packages of pop rocks. Now we wait...
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: ConQuest (27-29, Kansas City) Kansas City's original Science Fiction Convention ConQuesT KC he history says that ConQuest began as BYOB Con in 1972 BUT this year – 50 years later exactly, it's ConQuest 53? So where do we think the other 3 conventions came from?
Quote of the Week: How come when it's us it's an abortion but when it a chicken it's an omelet. --George Carlin
Actual Science Conference of the Week: NAFSA 2022: International Education Event (5/31-6/3) Commitment to a Sustainable Future NAFSA 2022 Annual Conference & Expo | NAFSA
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Cate Blanchett --> carte blanche
Our cats have become so sophisticated that they drink meow-tinis and discuss the Great Catsby. / Onyx used to be an alley cat, he still bowls some.
..........We're quiet enough in the morning hours.........Company …..Invitation to the Jellicle Ball
^^^^^ On 1 August 1876 Hickok was playing poker in Deadwood. For some reason – likely because there was no other seat available – he was sitting with his back to the door, something he didn’t normally do. In walked drifter Jack McCall, who pulled out his gun and shot him in the back of the head. Hickok died instantly. McCall was acquitted of murder by a jury of local miners, but a retrial reversed the verdict and he was hanged. Reports say that at the time of his death Hickok was holding two black aces and two black eights, plus another unknown card. This is known as the dead man's hand.
My Own Writing of the Week: I discovered actual sex all by myself in my room around sixth or seventh grade. I have never doubted that I found righteousness that day. The media, the church, and my parents were all silent about this marvelous experience. There had been no hint of it in anything I had read or seen or heard. What a pleasant surprise! This was delight made physical. It was dessert for the soul. How could no one have spoken of it? I never thought it was a magic of mine alone, only that the world had been trying to keep it a secret. I knew immediately that this was what people meant when they said it gets better when you grow up. But for the moment, I too kept it secret.
There was also never a thought that it was bad. For one thing, bad implies other people. How could I hurt someone when I was the only one there? Anyway, this was clearly good. To feel at one with everything could not possibly be bad. To feel at peace with the world and to feel so relaxed simply is good. And yet, we kept it secret, those of us that knew. --From Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, fantasies, and lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution by Christine Smith
Age Reminder of the Week: Younger people are at the age when they are using their phones to document the good times in their lives. I am at the age where I use my phone to take pictures of labels that I can't read and use my phone to enlarge the print. --Submitted by INRITH
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's weird that in eight Spiderman movies no villain has thought to just put a giant glass over him.
Today's Peace of History, May 27, 1940: The US Supreme Court ruled a sit-down strike was not a violation of the Sherman Antitrust Act even if it interfered with interstate commerce. The Court said that if the strike were found to be a restraint of trade, then “practically every strike in modern industry would be brought within the jurisdiction of the federal courts under the Sherman Act.”
You may know our cat; he played the brother in Downton Tabby. / Puck calls the cats claw enforcement.
..........You'll do anything if given the chance..........Janet Jackson …..Black Cat
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle May 27, 2022, Domestic short hair ePistle Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: Ambitious people climb, but faithful people build. --Julia Ward Howe
Cost of War:
As of 5/26/22 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $178,861,313,289
As of 5/19/22 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $178,319,262,861
As of 5/26/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,058,681,457,709.
As of 5/19/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,057,167,355,446.
As of 5/26/22 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,105,987,203,809.
As of 5/19/22 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,105,398,369,954.
As of 5/26/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,450,337,131.165.
As of 5/19/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,438,859,667.820.
As of 5/26/22 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,963,498,946,234.
As of 5/19/22 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,962,349,345,474.
As of 5/26/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,757,364,312,917.
As of 5/19/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,742,097,663,113.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
Peace does not “happen”, it requires work. --Hubert Humphrey
Famous Last Words: Garcin: Well, well, let's get on with it... --Jean Paul Sartre No Exit
..........You know we'll have a good time then..........Harry Chapin …..Cat's In The Cradle
Smoke Catnip! Hail, Lucipurr! / Jeez, these cat puns are apawling.
May Peace strengthen your mind
And Joy enhance your heart
prairie mama
christine
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