Friday, May 1, 2020

ePistle May Day

Famous First Words: What hath God wrought? --Samuel Morse, the first telegraph message sent (DC to Baltimore)
Happy May Day! Blessed Beltane! Jovial Walpurgis Night! May first is also International Labor or Workers Day ! Let's celebrate workers' rights this May Day by wasting time at work looking up what May Day Is. / This International Labor Day, let’s salute American corporations for keeping the Chinese gainfully employed.
..........Work all night on a drink of rum.........Harry Belafonte …..Day-O
The greatest challenge of the day is: how to bring about a revolution of the heart, a revolution which has to start with each one of us? --Dorothy Day
It is a spectacular Friday morning. 57°F is just cool enough for a sweater. The sun is bright and golden, enlightening everything thing is touches with beauty. Lines of small puffy clouds made of decaying jet trails fill the sky. Bird song is everywhere – background conversations of multi-bird groups and the occasional single Phew, phew of some unseen larger species. Very little vehicle noise, no car doors slamming or motors gunning. It is altogether pleasant; and yet my breath fails me and we must return to the house. The house has the pleasant smell of Moose Munch and disinfectant. Puck waits while I fix my coffee and pour him a small dish of ½ and ½ which he slurps noisily. I inhale the aromatic steam that clears my sinuses and inflates my mood. Why, what a wonderful time to sit down and write to you.
May your weekend be blessed with all the pleasures of spring, ePistliers
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Alarming report suggests Americans can't go much longer without jobs and haircuts before becoming hippies. --Submitted by mm of kc
May First is Batman Day !! There are 492 billionaires on this planet and not one of those losers has decided to become Batman. / The career counselor told me to dress for the job I want not the one I have. So now I'm in the unemployment office dressed like Batman.
..........Isn't it rich? Isn't it queer?.........Judy Collins …..Send in the Clowns
Trivia Questions: Happy Dandelion Day !
^ Any idea what the fancy science name is for dandelions?
^^ Do bees pollinate dandelions?
^^^ What parts of the dandelion plant are useful?
^^^^ Care to guess how many species of dandelions there are?
^^^^^ The dandelion has what distinction among all the plants on the planet?
Big Hello: Saluton – Esperanto https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Is is further to LA or on Tuesday?
Coronavirus Joke of the Week: Pestilence to leave Four Horsemen of Apocalypse to Concentrate on Solo Career. --nm of ks
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Pictures of authors on book jackets: -40% author with old car -40% author with dog -20% author with bored expression. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
May First is Mariachi Day ! There is a new Mariachi band in town; they call themselves Juan Direction. / Cinco De Mayo – A Mariachi band sinking into the Hollandaise.
..........We'll take on the world and win........Rita Coolidge …..All Time High
Moonbeam: We are one, after all, you and I. Together we suffer, together exist, and forever will recreate each other. --Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Naturally Occurring Mandala of the Week: Mayflower

That Clears That Up of the Week: A gathering of covidiots is known as a covfefe. --Submitted by nd of uk
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If your car is running, I'm voting for it. --Submitted by jd of ks
Week of the Week: It is Choose Privacy Week (1-7) – PRIVACY POLICY: We don't really know what data we have about you or what we're doing with it. When we figure all this out, we'll let you know.
May First is Mother Goose Day ! Hickory, dickory dock.. Mankind is on the clock. I greatly fear the end is near. Hickory, dickory dock. / How exactly did Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub become a nursery rhyme?
..........But she didn't bring the jailhouse key.........Harry Belafonte …..Sylvie
^ Dandelions are known as Taraxacum of the Asteraceae family which also contains the sunflower.
Almanac: It is Friday, May 1, 2020. The moon was first quarter yesterday and is in Leo. It is May Day, Amtrak Day, Beltane, Dandelion Days (1-2), Global Love Day, Keep Kids Alive - Drive 25 Day, Law Day, Lei Day, Mariachi Day (1-2), Mother Goose Day, National Purebred Dog Day, New Homeowner's Day, School Principals' Day, Silver Star Day, Stepmother Day, and Tuba Day. 66 nations celebrate Labor Day today. In Finland it is Vappu Day and in India it is Maharashtra Day (1960). Massachusetts has declared May 1st as Senior Citizens' Day (1963). Across the country it is Child Health Day and Dewey Day (Battle of Manila Bay, 1898). Finally, Turkey commemorates poet, Yunus Emre.
Among those born on this day were Philippe III (1245), Paracelsus (1493), Marco da Galiano (1582), Joseph Addison (1672), George Guest (1771), Jose Amador de los Rios (1818), George Inness (1825), Mother Jones (1830), Calamity Jane (Martha Burke, 1852), Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881), Kate Smith (1907), Glenn Ford (1916), Jack Paar (1916), Dan O'Herlihy (1919), Louis Nye (1922), Joseph Heller (1922), Art Fleming (1924), Patricia Roberts Harris (1924), Terry Southern (1924), Harry Belafonte (1927), Little Walter (1930), Judy Collins (1929), Rita Coolidge (1944), and Ray Parker Jr. (1954).
On May first England, Wales, and Scotland formed the United Kingdom (1707), the first new world cricket match was played (1751), Sheridan's School for Scandal premiered in London (1777), the first adhesive postage stamps were issued (Penny Blacks, 1840), the first telegraph message was sent (1844), John Geary became San Francisco's first mayor (1850), Argentina adopted its constitution (1853), the American Equal Rights Association formed (1866), Howard University was chartered (1867), the Folies-Bergere opened in Paris (1869), the Vienna World's Fair opened (1873), Buffalo Bill Cody's first wild west show opened (1883), the first International Workers Day was held (1889), the Pan American Exposition opened in Buffalo (1901), Satchel Paige made his pitching debut (1926), the Empire State Building opened (1931), The Catholic Worker newspaper was founded (Dorothy Day & Peter Maurin, 1933), Batman comics hit the streets (1939), Citizen Kane premiered (1941), Cheerios went on sale (1941), Mickey Mantle hit his first major league homerun (1951), Castro ended elections in Cuba (1961), Pirate Radio Station 259 (England/France) began transmitting (1969), the Marshall Islands became self-governing (1979), the World's Fair opened in Knoxville (1982), and Nolan Ryan pitched his record 7th no hitter (1991).
Night Sky, 5/1: As the stars come out this evening, look for Regulus below the Moon. The next brightest star in Leo's Sickle is yellow-orange Gamma Leonis http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Even chefs have to stop and eat now and then. FYI: he's better at chopsticks than I am

This Week: Saturday, May 2 – Play Outside Day & World Tuna Day & Free Comic Book Day
Sunday, May 3 – Lemonade Day & Rural Life Sunday & National Textiles Day
Monday, May 4 – Intergalactic Star Wars Day & International Firefighters Day & World Give Day
May The Fourth Be With You
Night Sky, 5/4: The Eta Aquarid Meteor Shower is predicted to peak in the very early morning of the 5th. 10-30 per hour
Tuesday, May 5 – Cinco de Mayo & Silence the Shame Day & Foster Care Day
Wednesday, May 6 – Great American Grump Out & National Deaf Interpreter Day & National Golf Day & No Housework Day
Night Sky, 5/6: Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn shine in the southeast before dawn. Neptune is barely risen in the east as dawn begins.
Thursday, May 7 – Cosmopolitan Day & National Day of Prayer & National Day of Reason
May First is Tuba Day ! Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tuba recital. / What's a tuba for? 1½ x 3½ lumber.
..........Moons and Junes and ferries wheels.........Judy Collins …..Both Sides Now
^^ Dandelion flowers do not need to be pollinated to form seeds.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being the loser they always knew we were. --Submitted by nrith
Moonbeam: God almighty made women and the Rockefeller gang of thieves made the ladies. --Mother Jones
Late Night Snacks of the Week: It’s not enough that his supporters are all white on the outside. --Stephen Colbert / This is maybe the first time in documented history that we’ve seen someone not-thinking out loud. Injecting disinfectants into your body? This is the problem when the dumbest person in the room thinks they’re the smartest person. I almost don’t even blame Trump, because there’s no way he even understands what bleach is. --Trevor Noah / I’ve gotta be honest, when we went on hiatus a week ago, I did not expect that when I came back I’d be talking about the president suggesting using disinfectants and powerful lights to cure coronavirus, but then again, that’s on me. I should have expected it. We should all know by now: Trump will be more outlandish with each passing week because that’s his nature. You have two renowned scientists working with you. Why are you pitching ideas like a sixth-century druid? --Seth Meyers / Unfortunately, many of those who support Trump are perfectly happy to ingest disinfectant products if the president tells them to do it. Even the makers of Lysol had to issue a warning. I think this might be the first president ever to embarrass a cleaning product. --Jimmy Kimmel
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Urban planners in Austria have created a new city park concept designed to keep visitors six feet apart at all times. The park is basically a giant labyrinth made of hedges, which is a great way to avoid strangers and a terrible place to play fetch with your dog. The design has already attracted some attention. Who wouldn't want to go to a park where everybody has to stay away from you? And a park focused on keeping away from other people is an improvement over our current parks, where you're focused on keeping away from the trash cans full of bees. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me 4/25/20
The scholars must become workers so the workers may be scholars. --Peter Maurin

..........Hear the whisper of the raindrops.........Rita Coolidge …..For The Good Times
^^^ Every part of the dandelion is useful: root, leaves, flower. It can be used for food, medicine, and dye. Dandelion can be used in the production of wine and root beer. Root of dandelion can be used as a substitute for coffee. Dandelions are high in calcium, iron, and vitamins A and C.
Worthless Fact of the Week: William F. Cody first appeared on the stage in Chicago on December 11, 1872. Afterward, he founded his production in Omaha, Nebraska, in 1883; a show that would run, in one form or another, for the next three decades, charming crowds throughout the United States and Europe.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Do not under any circumstance take a disinfectant if you are currently taking Windex for windmill cancer. Submitted by sb of ar
Weird Word of the Week: Sitooterie – a summer house or gazebo (Scottish) http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-sit1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Keep meal worms and other pests away from pasta. Place a few sticks of wrapped Wriggleys spearmint gum on the shelf near open packages of noodles, macaroni, or spaghetti. Spearmint repels these household pests. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wrigleys.html
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What wine pairs best with living in a dystopian nightmare? --Submitted by ae of kc
May first is Law Day ! The fact is, the peck of picked peppers you, Peter Piper, picked was on private property. / I thought I was guilty until my lawyer straightened me out on that.
...........She take me money and run Venezuela.........Harry Belafonte …..Matilda
^^^^ There are about 100 species of dandelion, and all are beneficial.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: As warmer weather arrives do we dig out our shorts or do we cut the legs off our pajamas? Asking for a friend. --Submitted by ss of kc
Science Fiction Convention Joke of the Week: Did you hear about the Lord of the Rings fan who turned down an invitation to a Conan Con? He didn't want to a Tolkien minority.
Actual Science Convention Joke of the Week: I hated working as a valet at the anti-vaxxer convention. All i got was bunch of measly tips!
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck still in his winter grooming watching Dandelions on Dandelion Day.

May first is School Principal Day ! No, Mrs Jones I'm not saying your son is a bad child; I'm saying he is gifted at disruptive behavior. / No, Kelli, no one squealed on you. I saw your prank on facebook.
..........So blow you ol' blue northern, blow my love to me.........Judy Collins …..Some Day Soon
^^^^^ Dandelions are, quite possibly, the most successful plants that exist, masters of survival worldwide. If you mow dandelions, they’ll grow shorter stalks to spite you.
Month of the Week: May is National Barbecue Month –People from Kansas City say that BBQ from anywhere else is a just group of people waiting for a haircut. / My granddaughter said she wanted a Barbie for her birthday so I smoked her some ribs.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The only way Missouri should reopen is under new management. --Submitted by mm of kc
Today's Peace of History, May 1, 1887: May Day was called Emancipation Day in 1886 when 340,000 went on strike (though it was Saturday it was a regular day of work) in Chicago for the 8-hour workday.
May first is Stepmother Day ! 9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from a stepmom. / Of all the evil stepmothers in the world, I'm glad I got you.
..........I'll keep waiting.........Rita Coolidge …..One Fine Day
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle May 1, 2020, Mayday ePistle. Cackles, Calm, and Calendars. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: If my life has any meaning at all, it is that those who start out as outcasts can wind up as being part of the system. - Patricia Roberts Harris
Cost of War:
As of 4/30/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,022,969,576,231.
As of 4/23/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,020,980,133,196.
As of 4/30/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $963,756,075,817.
As of 4/23/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $962,403,919,550.
As of 4/30/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $761,236,284,418.
As of 4/23/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $759,536,590,206.
As of 4/30/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $328,644,621,179.
As of 4/23/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $328,258,299,243.
As of 4/30/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,076,607,314,046.
As of 4/23/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,071,179,812,129.
We must talk about poverty, because people insulated by their own comfort lose sight of it. --Dorothy Day
Famous Last Words: Party Like It's Beltane !!
..........Sounds of laughter everywhere.........Harry Belafonte …..Jamaica Farewell
You may be a Techno-Pagan if your Beltane ritual includes more than one news group. / You might be a techno-pagan if you end your circle with Ctl-Alt-Del.
May Peace light your bonfire
And Joy dance by your side
prairie mama
christine


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