Friday, April 24, 2020

Classified ePistle

Famous First Words: Sì, corre voce che l’Etiope ardisca : Yes, it is rumored that the Ethiopian has dared... --Giuseppe Verdi     Aida
It's National Library Week and this is the Duly Dewey Classified ePistle.. In the Dewey System, 0-99s include general knowledge. I once fell in love with an encyclopedia. I was completely in-fact-uated. / Who are the highest paid generals? General Motors, General Electric, and General Dynamics
..........Deep within my heart lies a melody.........Bob Wills & The Texas Playboys …..San Antonio Rose ~~Tomorrow is Bob Wills Day
“I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than are governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of their way and let them have it.” ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1959
It is a stormy Friday morning. The sky is filled with rolling clouds of blue and gray and patches of actual sky visible here and there. 58°F is a very pleasant temperature especially with not enough wind to move even the flighty willow branches. Everything is wet, dripping, soggy from the early morning storm booming and cracking at the crack of dawn. It cleansed the air and made every color shine and glow with spring freshness and April beauty. A brown bird with a red beak silently picks dry leaves from a small bush and disappears into the foliage to work on its nest. There is no bird song in the air, no motor sounds, just morning silence. Even Puck is quiet. But inside there are all kinds of sounds, computer humming, coffee pot straining, fingers across the keyboard. And I get to sit right here, sip creamy Moose Munch, and write to you. What a day!
Hope your weekend is classified under Fun, ePistliers.
Kansas-ism of the Week: I went outside to check on my plants. I felt something cold and wet on my arm. I looked down and saw a mosquito using a wet wipe before he bit me. --Submitted by inrith
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Your quarantine alcoholic name is your first name followed by your last name. --Submitted by ksz of ks
Four Twenty Joke of the Week: The devil whispered to me, “I'm coming for you”. I whispered back, “Bring weed”. --Submitted by rb of ks
The Dewey 100s are philosophy. The unexamined life combined with an MBA is highly marketable. / The subject of every dissertation in philosophy is How do you make a living with a philosophy doctorate?
..........the luckiest people in the world.........Barbra Streisand ….People
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday Library of Congress !!
^ Care to guess how many items are in the library?
^^ How about the number of buildings that house it?
^^^ About how many new titles per years come through the Copyright Office?
^^^^ In 2019 how many items for the Visually Impaired were circulated?
^^^^^ Know how many people work for the Library?
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I found a $20 bill in a parking lot and thought to myself, What Would Jesus Do? So I turned it into wine. --Submitted by pj of ks
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 34% of librarians are embarrassed to admit that only today have they finally reached their 2011 reading goal https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Religion is the Dewey 200s. It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it. --G K Chesterton / If God uses weather as an instrument of wrath, what do you figure the people on Jupiter did?
..........and the Navajo watched the lazy skies........Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys …..Across the Alley from the Alamo
Moonbeam: “Humility is nothing but truth, and pride is nothing but lying.” --St. Vincent De Paul
Naturally Occurring Mandala of the Week: Jonquil

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Self care isn't always chocolate and NetFlix. Sometimes, it's getting out of bed and doing some difficult tasks like summoning a demon to help with the dishes or finding the right number of chicken bones to appease the thing that lives in the attic. --Submitted by vr of th
Week of the Week: National Coin Week (19-25) --He was so poor he used to throw pennies in the river to check his cash flow. / The workers at the Denver Mint are overworked and are striking to make less money.
Dewey 300 – Social Sciences. An anthropologist walks into a bar and asks, “Why is this joke funny?” / A musicologist says to her sociologist friend, “We’re not that different you and I.” “How so?” the sociologist asks skeptically. “We both study cymbalic interaction.”
..........Memories light the corners of my mind.........Barbra Streisand …..The Way We Were
^ In 2019 the Library of Congress recorded a total of 170,118,152 items in the collections: https://www.loc.gov/about/general-information/#year-at-a-glance
Almanac: It is Friday, April 24, 2020. The moon was new on Wednesday and is in Taurus. It is Armenian Genocide Remembrace Day, National Hairball Awareness Day, National Teach Your Children to Save Day, and World Meningitis Day. Because it is the last Friday in April, it is also Arbor Day.
Among those born on this day were St Vicente de Paul (1576), John Graunt (1620), Giovanni Martini (1706), Robert Bailey Thomas (1766), Angela Burdett-Coutts (1814), Anthony Trollope (1815), Jeltje de Bosch Kemper (1836), Willem De Kooning (1904), Robert Penn Warren (1905), Shirley MacLaine (1934), Jill Ireland (1936), Barbra Streisand (1942), Richard Daley (1942), and Yvonne D Cagle (1959).
On April twenty-fourth the Russia/Prussia peace treaty was signed (1762), the Library of Congress was established with a $5,000 allocation (1800), the soda fountain was patented (1833), streetcar ride-in protests began in Richmond, VA (1867), Aida premiered (1871), the National Medical Associaton of Black Physicians was organized (1884), the Irish Easter rebellion began (1916), and the fathometer was patented (1928).
Night Sky, 4/24: Right after dark, the Sickle of Leo stands vertically upright high in the south. Its bottom star is Regulus, Leo's brightest. Leo himself is walking horizontally westward. The Sickle forms his front leg, chest, mane, and part of his head. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Chef Max tasting the onions to make sure …

This Week: Saturday, April 25 - DNA Day & Eeyore's Birthday & Red Hat Society Day
Sunday, April 26 – Alien Day & Pretzel Day & Lesbian Visibility Day
Night Sky, 4/26: Arcturus is the brightest star in the east these evenings. Spica shines lower right of it by about three fists at arm's length. To the right of Spica by half that distance, look for the distinctive four-star constellation Corvus, the springtime Crow.
Monday, April 27 – Babe Ruth Day & Morse Code Day & World Tapir Day
Tuesday, April 28 – Workers Memorial Day
Wednesday, April 29 – World Wish Day & Peace Rose Day
Night Sky, 4/29 : Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn (magnitudes, +0.5, – 2.3, and +0.6, respectively) are lined up in the southeast before and during early dawn. Jupiter, the brightest, is on the right. Saturn glows pale yellow 5° to Jupiter's left or lower left.
Thursday, April 30 – Beltane & Buddha Day & Bugs Bunny Day
Dewey 400 – Language. Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit. / Why did words, phrases and punctuation end up in court? To be sentenced.
..........Cactus lovelier than orchids.........Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys …..My Adobe Hacienda
^^ The Library of Congress occupies three buildings on Capitol Hill. The Thomas Jefferson Building (1897) is the original separate Library of Congress building. (The Library began in 1800 inside the U.S. Capitol.) The John Adams Building was built in 1938 and the James Madison Memorial Building was completed in 1981. Other facilities include the High Density Storage Facility (2002) at Fort Meade, Md., and the Packard Campus for Audio Visual Conservation (2007) in Culpeper, Va.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Every problem is an opportunity to create an even bigger disaster. --Submitted by nm of ks
Moonbeam: The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time. --Willem de Kooning
Late Night Snacks of the Week: Well you know what they say: it ain’t over until the fat lady screams crazy rightwing talking points at a medical professional who’s trying to save their family’s lives. --Jimmy Kimmel / We’re almost used to Trump drumming up outrage for his political benefit, but what makes what he’s doing now particularly vile is that on Thursday, he announced guidelines for when states should open back up, and then spends the rest of the weekend urging his followers to fight back against the same guidelines that he released. --Trevor Noah / LIBERATE VIRGINIA, and save your great 2nd Amendment. It is under siege. Ah yes, the second amendment is so important right now, because if you run out of Lysol, you can just shoot your groceries. --Stephen Colbert
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Now, nobody really knows why President Trump is obsessed about opening up the country on May 1, except it's May Day. That's the thing you say when you're going down in flames. Or maybe... The president did say he had the, quote, "absolute power to open the country." But the next day, after he was visited by three spirits in the night, he admitted he couldn't really do that. He did create a committee to reopen the economy with such brilliant public health experts as Ivanka Trump, Mr. Ivanka Trump, Pennywise the clown, Voldemort, and Wilbur Ross. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me 4/18/20
We seek peace, knowing that peace is the climate of freedom.” ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower
The 500s are Natural Sciences. A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773." A student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it." / The equal sign (=) was humble because he knew he was neither > or < than anyone.
..........Don't tell me not to live.........Barbra Streisand …..Don't Rain on My Parade
^^^ The US Copyright Office added more than 547,000 registrations and recorded 12,550 documents containing 457,731 titles.
Worthless Fact of the Week: The Treaty of Saint Petersburg aka the Russian/Prussia Pact ended the fighting in the Seven Years' War between Prussia and Russia. The treaty followed the accession of Emperor Peter III, who admired the Prussian king Frederick the Great.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We're isolated and locked down for our own safety. So was Jeffrey Epstein.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: An Oxymoron walked into a bar. The silence was deafening. --Submitted by 50ng
Weird Word of the Week: Religitgation – a blend of religion and litigation. It is a specifically British term that refers to legal actions that set the faith-based view of religious groups against human-rights... http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-rel1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Seal a punctured garden hose. Patch the holes with chewed Wrigley's Spearmint Gum. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wrigleys.html
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Now that I've lived during a plague, I get why most Renaissance paintings are of chubby women laying around with their boobs out. --Submitted by #RHOZ
Dewey 600s = Applied Sciences. Engineer: Solving problems you didn't know you had in ways you don't understand. / It's called reading. It's how people install new software into their brains.
...........You can have your mansion or your cottage small.........Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys …..Home in San Antone
^^^^ The Library circulated nearly 21.8 million copies of braille, audio, and large-print items to blind and print disabled patrons.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You might as well go ahead and pronounce the “L” in salmon. Nothing matters anymore. --Submitted by rhb of ks
Irony of the Week: Land O Lakes got rid of the Native American on their butter but they kept the land. Some things never change. --Subamitted by llr of ks
Science Fiction Convention Joke of the Week: Did you hear about the Trekkie who was trying to pick up girls at a Star Wars convention? He was looking for love in Alderaan places
Actual Science Convention Joke of the Week: An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel for a convention. A fire breaks out in each of their trash cans at the same time during the night. The engineer wakes up, dumps water onto the fire until its out, then a little more to make sure it stays out, and goes back to bed. The physicist wakes up, grabs his notepad, calculates the amount of water he needs to put out the fire, puts it out, and goes back to bed. The mathematician wakes up, grabs his notepad, proves that water can put out fire and goes back to bed.
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck quoting Puck from A Midsummer Night's Dream on Talk Like Shakespeare Day So, good night unto you all.

700s = arts and recreation. I don't often talk to art majors, but when I do I usually ask for fries. / The summer swimming team was made up of 4 girls named Jennifer. They named themselves Hydrogens.
..........I've gotta get some life back into my life..........Barbra Streisand …..Before the Parade Passes By
^^^^^ The library employed 3,210 permanent staff members in 2019.
Month of the Week: April is Soy Foods Month – Well, I decided against the tofu joke because it was tasteless.
Sheltering Joke of the Week: You Can't Fix Stupid. Turns out, you can't quarantine it either. --Submitted by tm of ar
Election Joke of the Week: Binden: He Won't Inject You With Bleach --Submitted by rk of ks
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: For my birthday, I want alcohol. Either a fine, old, single malt Scotch or hand sanitizer. - your choice.
Today's Peace of History, April 24, 1987: On the World Day for Laboratory Animals, nationally coordinated demonstrations occurred in CA, AZ, FL, NY, MN, LA, MI, PA, NV, TN, and other states. Hundreds of activists across the country blocked access to university laboratories and more than 150 were arrested nationwide.
Literature – 800s. Little known fact, the Brontësaurus wrote romance novels. / Nancy caught a talking cockroach. The roach said the worst part of being a roach was everyone screaming and throwing up when they say you. The best thing was you no longer had to pretend to know what Kafkaesque means.
..........Apart from the laughter and the cheers.........Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys …..Bubbles in My Beer
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle April 24, 2020, Classified ePistle. Peace and Laughs in Dewey Order. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: They are best dressed, whose dress no one observes. --Anthony Trollope
Cost of War:
As of 4/23/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,020,980,133,196.
As of 4/16/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,018,997,829,544.
As of 4/23/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $962,403,919,550.
As of 4/16/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $961,056,855,924.
As of 4/23/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $759,536,590,206.
As of 4/16/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $757,842,992,507.
As of 4/23/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $328,258,299,243.
As of 4/16/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $327,873,436,066.
As of 4/23/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,071,179,812,129.
As of 4/16/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,065,772,124,603.
“Though force can protect in emergency, only justice, fairness, consideration, and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace.” ~ President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Famous Last Words: Pace t’imploro! Pace, pace, pace! : Peace, I implore of you! Peace, peace, peace! --Giuseppe Verdi Aida
..........Here now, next to me, and worlds away.........Barbra Streisand …..Goodbye For Now
900s are Geography. When the geography student's grades dropped below C-level, he drown. / Actual Towns: Accident, Maryland / Whynot, North Carolina / Coward, South Carolina / Worms, Nebraska
May Peace define your classifications
And Joy describe your content
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:

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