Friday, May 31, 2019

ePistle Tossing


Famous First Words: Don't forget me little darling while I'm growing old and gray... Johnny Paycheck On The Sunny Side of the Mountain
May is National Salad Month. This salad is so fresh it had to go live with its uncle and auntie in Bel Aire / This salad is so badly dressed it would even shock Lady Gaga.
..........When a new day's a dawning.........Peter , Paul & Mary …..Early In The Morning
There is no week nor day nor hour when tyranny may not enter upon this country, if the people lose their roughness and spirit of defiance. --Walt Whitman
It is a cheery Friday morning. The sky is a pale blue that is made paler by a thin layer of cloud here and there. A light breeze blows around the willow limbs and busses the cheek with a cool kiss. 67°F is a near perfect temperature for a walk or sitting in the backyard. There is the usual birdsong and a new call, I'm not used to from a fully leaved tree so that I cannot see the source. Puck barks at the rabbits and the cat down the street who is just making its way home after a night in the park. The grass has been cut in the park, around the edges at least; the pond that hides under the tall weeds in the center is left in weeds surrounded by tire tracks. It gives off a smell of fresh mowing and dampness. Puddles and ponds are everywhere – wherever there is a low spot in sidewalk or pavement, whenever objects block the downward flow, and the ruts made by mower wheels or shoe heels. We return home. Jeff decides to walk further and Puck and I nap a little before we wake up to sweetened decaf and writing to you. Things are certainly looking bright.
Hope your weekend is crisp and cool, ePistliers.
What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley. / I eat my salad without dressing. Not for health reason, but because once I'm hungry I can't take time to put on clothes.
..........Lots of people talkin', few of them know..........Led Zeppelin .....Dazed And Confused
Trivia Questions: Ride, Lady, Ride
^ What did Lady Godiva do that makes her famous?
^^ More or less, what does her name, Godiva, mean?
^^^ Who proposed her famous ride?
^^^^ Any idea which American writer of children's books wrote a book about the Lady?
^^^^^ Know which early 21st century television series time traveled the Lady into the future?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Today I stopped at this roadside stand and the gal behind the counter shouted, “Lobster Tails $2”. So I paid my $2 and she said, “Once upon a time there was this lobster...”.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Surprisingly, 46% of librarians aren't wearing a cardigan--just a button-up shirt covered in a thin layer of pet hair. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I read that, by law, you have to turn on your headlights when it's raining in Sweden. How am I supposed to know if it's raining in Sweden? --Submitted by sb of ar
One of the issues with making salad is bland lettuce. It's a problem that need addressing. / Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life.
..........Painted wings and giant's rings make way for other toys.........Peter , Paul & Mary …..Puff, The Magic Dragon
Moonbeam: Let your soul stand cool and composed before a million universes. --Walt Whitman
Something to Think About of the Week: Geode

Big Hello: Sampurasun - Sundanese (Java) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: For those that don't want ALEXA listening in on your conversations they're making a male version..it doesn't listen to anything. --Submitted by ss of ks
Week of the Week: Scripps National Spelling Bee (28-31) –Your word is snorkdarf. Uh, could you please use that in a sentence? Sure: Snorkdarf is not actually a real word.
Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough. / Come in and try the Worst Salad one woman on Trip Advisor ever had in her life.
..........Keep it coolin', baby..........Led Zeppelin .....Whole Lot of Love
^ Lady Godiva was an Anglo-Saxon noblewoman who, according to legend, rode naked through the streets of Coventry in England in order to gain a remission of the oppressive toll imposed by her husband on his tenants.
Almanac: It is Friday, May 31, 2019. The moon will be new on Monday and is in Taurus. It is World No-Tobacco Day (W.H.O.), National Macaroon Day, Heat Safety Awareness Day, and What You Think Upon Grows Day. In Botswana it is President's Day. Namibia and South Africa commemorate Union Day (1910) and Republic Day (1961) while in Zimbabwe it is Independence Day (1979) .
Among those born on this day were Walt Whitman (1819), Emily Bissell (1861), Norman Vincent Peale (1898), Don Ameche (1908), Scoop Jackson (1912), Robert A. Ley (1921), Jim Hutton (1934), Peter Yarrow (1938), Johnny Paycheck (1941), Joe Namath (1943), John Bonzo Bonham (1948), Rhea Perlman (1948), Tom Berenger (1950), Chris Elliott (1960), and Lea Thompson (1961).
On May thirty-first there was a "Women's Revolt" in Amsterdam (1531), the colony of Massachusetts annexed the colony of Maine (1634), Lady Godiva wrote through Coventry (1678**), US Copyright laws were enacted (1790), the New Orlean's mint closed (1861), Gilmore's Garden was renamed Madison Square Garden (1879), the first taxis picked up fares in NYC (1907), the 17th Amendment was ratified (direct election of senators, 1913), Lennon and Ono recorded "Give Peade a Chance" (1969), and Jim Wright resigned as speaker of the house (1989). **Actually there are lots of different dates for this event. 1078 being the favorite.
Night Sky, 5/31: Constellations seem to twist around fast when they pass your zenith — if you're comparing them to the direction "down," i.e. away from the zenith. Just a week and a half ago, the Big Dipper floated horizontally in late twilight an hour after sunset (as seen from 40° N latitude). Now it's angled diagonally at that time. In another week and a half it will be hanging straight down by its handle http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max has decided to be a lifeguard when he grows up.

This Week: Saturday, June 1 – Drawing or Pencil Day & National Go Barefoot Day & National Prairie Day
Sunday, June 2 – National Animal Rights Day & National Gun Violence Awareness Day
Night Sky, 6/2: "Cassiopeia" usually means "Cold!" Late fall and winter are when this landmark constellation, almost opposite the Big Dipper across Polaris, stands high overhead in the evening (seen from mid-northern latitudes). But even on warm June evenings, it still lurks low. As twilight fades out, look for it down near the north horizon: a wide, upright W, as shown here.
Monday, June 3 – Leave the Office Early Day & World Bicycle Day
Tuesday, June 4 – Hug Your Cat Day & World Hug Your Cat Day
Night Sky, 6/4: Bright Capella sets low in the northwest fairly soon after dark these evenings (depending on your latitude). That leaves Vega and Arcturus as the brightest stars in the evening sky. Vega shines in the east-northeast. Arcturus is very high toward the south.
Wednesday, June 5 – Festival of Popular Delusions & National Moonshine Day
Thursday, June 6 – Atheists Pride Day & Russian Language Day & Yo-Yo Day
This salad tastes like I'd rather be fat. / I hate it when my salad accidentally falls into the trash and a pizza slice suddenly appears on my desk.
..........How many times must the cannonballs fly.........Peter , Paul & Mary …..Blowin' In The Wind
^^ The Old English name Godgifu or Godgyfu meant "gift of God"; Godiva was the Latinized version. Since the name was a popular one, there are contemporaries of the same name.
Still 'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Your tattoos will look ugly when you're old. Bold of you to assume the planet will last that long.
Moonbeam: Re-examine all that you have been told...dismiss that which insults your soul. --Walt Whitman
Late Night Snacks of the Week: “I feel like Nancy Pelosi’s been spending a bunch of time with Maxine Waters, because now, every time she patronizes Drumpf – have you noticed – she seems more and more like a black auntie. First, she gave Drumpf the sideways clap. And now, she’s praying for him? That’s the blackest thing ever. It’s just like, ‘Lord, this crazy man needs Jesus!’ --Trevor Noah / Memorial Day, it’s the last summer holiday Drumpf’s not going to make about himself. Drumpf was planning to hold a rally in front of the Lincoln Memorial for Fourth of July and launch his re-election campaign on Father’s Day. Evidently, he thinks he’s America’s father, which explains why he only loves a third of us. --Stephen Colbert / First of all, if you want to talk about being afraid of the opposition, the Republican president’s own press secretary has done fewer briefing this month than Gene Simmons. Second of all, if you think Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris are afraid of talking to anyone, have you met them? Fox News has openly disparaged the candidates, at one point saying Drumpf was more hip-hop than Harris. “Yeah, Jesse Watters knows hip-hop. He locks his car doors every time he hears it. --Samantha Bee / Drumpf’s border wall now includes collecting left-behind change from the airport security lines. The Department of Homeland Security wants to use the $3m collected to help pay for the wall. For those of you keeping track, we’re now officially at ‘the looking for money in the couch cushions’ portion of this plan. This is not a plan to strengthen border security; this is how a nine-year-old saves up to buy a skateboard. --Jimmy Kimmel
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: On Wednesday, President Trump stomped into a meeting he had called with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer, yelled at them for trying to impeach him and stomped right out. Now, we have never identified with Donald Trump more than this moment because we are also always trying to get out of meetings. Now, the president, then, after he stomped out of the meeting three minutes after he walked in, went out to the Rose Garden to make a spontaneous appearance before the press - a spontaneous appearance they had scheduled before the meeting began...And for which his staff had printed up big posters. Now, to be fair, the White House always has a spare selection of posters just in case the president needs to rant...You know, the same way you always carry plastic bags when you take your dog for a walk. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me 5/25
The real war will never get in the books. --Walt Whitman

..........Hey, Hey, Mama..........Led Zeppelin .....Black Dog
^^^ Lady Godiva appealed again and again to her husband, Leofric, who obstinately refused to remit the tolls. Finally, he said to her he would do as she asked if she were to strip naked and ride through the town. She did so but issued a proclamation that all people should keep within their homes and shut their windows. She did the ride covered in only her long, golden hair.
Worthless Facts of the Week: The burgomasters of Amsterdam decided to build a storehouse for wool on The Holy Place (why was it Holy? In 1345, a dying man had just received the holy sacrament, and then vomited it right back up and the vomit was thrown into the fire and in the morning when the coals were raked over the sacrament was found to be still a prefect white and in tact making this location, The Holy Place). So when the government wanted to build this storehouse for wool in this very Holy Place...The pious women of Amsterdam petitioned the burgomasters not to commit this horror in The Holy Place. But, the burgomasters unmoved began to dig the foundation for the wool storehouse. And on this night, so very long ago, 300 pious women with shovels in hand refilled the foundation dirt back into the holes dug that day. And this was, The Women's Uprising of 1531 or revolt of 1531.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My toddler called a fly an air spider, and now I'm convinced that toddlers should be allowed to name more things.
Obsolete Word of the Week: Brabble – to bicker loudly about nothing. https://www.k-international.com/blog/obsolete-english-words/
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make bubble bath. Mix 2 cups of Wesson Vegetable Oil, three tablespoons of liquid shampoo, and one-quarter teaspoon of your favorite perfume. Mix the solution in a blender at thigh speed. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wesson.html
Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad. / Eve loved salads, but she kept eating Adam's laundry.
...........Young girls have picked them, everyone.........Peter , Paul & Mary …..Where Have All The Flowers Gone
^^^^ The Seven Lady Godivas: The True Facts Concerning History's Barest Family is a picture book of the tale of Lady Godiva, written and illustrated by Dr. Seuss. One of Seuss's few books for adults, the original 1939 publication by Random House was a failure and was eventually remaindered. However, it later gained popularity as Seuss himself grew in fame, and was republished in 1987.
First Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: England sent their religious nuts to America and their criminals to Australia. Aussies got the better deal.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: War is when your government tells you who the enemy is. Revolution is when you figure it out for yourself. --Timmy Post
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Deep South Con 57 aka ConCarolinas (31-2, Charlotte, NC). Axe throwing, concert, and a movie! https://concarolinas.org/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: 2019 3rd International Symposium on Autonomous Systems (29-31, Shanghai, China) ISAS focuses on both theory and applications mainly covering the topics of artificial intelligence, control, automation, robotics and autonomous systems. http://www.isas.cqu.edu.cn/index_en.html
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck with partner, Justice, greeting their new house mate Jeffrey's Jindo.

What do you call a hen staring at lettuce? Chicken sees a salad. / What you make with epileptic lettuce is seizure salad.
..........In the springtime of my loving..........Led Zeppelin .....The Rain Song
^^^^^ In the 'Charmed' episode "The Bare Witch Project", a student in Magic School accidentally conjures Lady Godiva and Lord Dyson out of a history book. Later, Phoebe, inspired by Lady Godiva, decides to ride naked through a crowded street in support of women's liberation.
Month of the Week: May is Older Americans Month –I called the Incontinence Hot Line they asked to to hold, please. / There is a reason “sixty” and “sexy” sound alike. It's because they hearing is the first to go.
First Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: So in your opinion, which of the ”seven deadly sins” does this president engage in least? --Submitted by ae of ks
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Stop naming hospitals after dead people, give us some hope. Like, where's the Keith Richards Memorial Hospital?
Grammar Joke of the Week: Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
Today's Peace of History, May 31, 1955: The US Supreme Court ordered (in a unanimous decision known as Brown II after the 1954 decision Brown v. Board of Education) that school integration be implemented “with all deliberate speed,” ordering the lower federal courts to require the desegregation of public schools.
Pandas: The living proof that you can be fat just by eating salad. / Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is knowing you shouldn't put it in fruit salad.
..........Fill my cup again.........Peter , Paul & Mary …..Weave Me The Sunshine
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle May 31, 2019, ePistle Tossing. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Generic Tag Line. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars. --Walt Whitman
Cost of War:
As of 5/30/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,928,120,143,236.
As of 5/23/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,926,159,458,782.
As of 5/30/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $899,295,167,506.
As of 5/23/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $897,962,540,213.
As of 5/30/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $680,199,559,915.
As of 5/23/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $678,524,429,083.
As of 5/30/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $310,227,152,870.
As of 5/23/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $309,846,477,485.
As of 5/30/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,817,842,675,651.
As of 5/23/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,812,493,298,596.
Judging from the main portions of the history of the world, so far, justice is always in jeopardy. --Walt Whitman
..........I am a traveler of both time and space..........Led Zeppelin .....Kashmir
There's been a mistake: You've accidentally given me the food my food eats. / A double-wide salad is for people who can't afford the house salad.
Famous Last Words: And with a smile on his face. Johnny Paycheck The Fool Strikes Again
May Peace mix your days
And Joy dress your life
prairie mama
christine


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