Friday, May 17, 2019

Cached ePistle


Famous First Words: Commit to ride! Oh, and you could win a trip to Alaska! ~~But you have to bike there --Bike To Work Day Website
Happy Pack Rat Day! It takes hoarders years to do what my kids can do in 5 minutes. / Call me a hoarder if you want but don't come crying to me when you need a 3 foot tall stack of mayonnaise jar labels.
..........Champagne don't drive me crazy.........Taj Mahal …..Nobody's Business But My Own
As the world community develops in peace, it will open up great untapped reservoirs in human nature. --Emily Green Balch leader of WILPF
It is a beautiful (68°F) Friday morning. The sky is clear except for a few thin wisps here and there floating along on pleasant breezes which also spread the scent of honeysuckle and other unidentified florals. The sun rising brightens all the colors – purple velvet, pale and rich yellow, blue irises, white vine flowers, tiny purples in lawns and, of course, a thousand shades of green. Birds and rabbits are everywhere – sometimes in the same lawn, ignoring each other as they graze. Puck has a one-sided conversation with each one. A mourning dove sits on the wire above us but does not hoot as we pass. Robins are cleaning insects from yards in the neighborhood. The grass in the park at the end of the cul-de-sac is too tall for robins but the pond in the middle sports frogs to take up the bass. Squeaky sparrows carry the melody and unseen birds in trees and bushes add counterpoint, now and again. As we turn back north the breeze moves my hair and brushes my cheek; it makes me smile. Back home Puck takes a drink and settles into a morning nap. I prepare my customary decaf with sweetener and cream. It smells rich and it tastes good but the best part of the morning is still writing to you.
Hope your weekend piles up the fun, ePistliers.
Treat hoarders with crack, they'll sell off all their stuff. Boom, problem solved. / Purses are pretty bags that let us be portable hoarders.
..........My rig's a little old but that don't mean she's slow.........Taj Mahal …..Six Days On The Road
Trivia Questions: Welcome to Endangered Species Day
^ We are in the midst of a mass extinction. How many others have there been on Earth?
^^ How much of the current extinction is caused by humans?
^^^ What group of animals accounts for the highest rate endangerment?
^^^^ About what percentage of the Earth's species are invertebrates (butterflies, mollusks, corals, etc.)?
^^^^^ How are primate species faring in the extinction crisis?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: St. Peter at the Golden Gate: We had to put up concertina wire because of all the Trump Christians thinking they were going to get in. --Submitted by mja of ks **See Also Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 38% of librarians know exactly how many children fit into any given space. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Lord of the Libraries of the Week: "Before winning an Emmy for his work on Heroes, then a KU student, Chris Martin wrote and directed 2004's The Lord of the Libraries - a tale of action, adventure, and overdue books, parodying The Lord of the Rings." https://youtu.be/CdTAv4dCZMg
What do you think, Henry? Would this plastic toy car balance on top of the seven-foot-high pile of clothes and garbage in my bathroom? / I have an entire closet filled with statements from banks that are no longer in business.
..........I tell all the colored folks to listen to me, don't try to find you no home in Washington, DC.........Taj Mahal …..Bourgeois Blues
Moonbeam: My first wish is for America to be free. --John Penn
Something to Think About of the Week: Spider Web

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sign outside a bar: Booze & Calculus Don't Mix: Don't Drink & Derive --Submitted by msh of bc
Week of the Week: National Body Piercing Week (12-17) –Oh, you got your septum pierced. I didn't nose-tice. / This girl told me she got a nipple piercing. I asked her to prove it and she showed me the receipt.
If I worked on the set of Hoarders, I'd just set the house on fire...I'm not cleaning that up. / Is binge watching Hoarders a kind of hoarding?
..........Well alright, yeah alright.........Taj Mahal …..Bacon Fat
^ Our planet is now in the midst of its sixth mass extinction of plants and animals — the sixth wave of extinctions in the past half-billion years. We're currently experiencing the worst spate of species die-offs since the loss of the dinosaurs 65 million years ago.
Almanac: It is Friday, May 17, 2019. The moon will be full (Flower) tomorrow and is in Scorpio. It is World Telecommunication and Information Society Day (ITU), Endangered Species Day, International Virtual Assistants Day, NASCAR Day, National Bike to Work Day, National Defense Transportation Day, National Pizza Party Day, Pack Rat Day, Syttende Mai, World Hypertension Day, World Information Science Day, World Telecommunications Day, and World Neurofibromatosis Day (NF Day). Cuba commemorates Agrarian Reform aka Peasant Day and in Norway it is Independence Day aka Constitution Day (1814)
Among those born on this day were Botticelli (1444), John Penn (1741), Maureen O'Sullivan (1911), Archibald Cox (1912), Dennis Hopper (1936), Taj Mahal (1942), Sugar Ray Leonard (1956), and Bob Saget (1956).
On May seventeenth Halley's comet was recorded for the seventh time (218), the first merry-go-round was ridden (Turkey, 1620), Joliet & Marquette began their trip up the Mississippi (1673), the rubber band was patented (1845), the saxophone was patented (1846), the first Kentucky Derby was run (1875), Buffalo Bill Cody produced his first Wild West Show (1883), Alaska became a US territory (1884), the first weekly comic paper was published (London, 1890), Brown v Topeka Board of Education reversed the 1896 "separate but equal" Plessy v Ferguson decision. (1954), and Isreal and Lebanon signed a peace treaty (1983).
Night Sky, 5/17: The Moon, nearly full, shines in dim Libra. Binoculars will help you see through the moonlight to Beta Librae nearly 5° to the Moon's upper left (for North America), and Alpha Librae a similar distance to the Moon's lower right. Alpha is an easy binocular double star.
Max Picture of the Week: Max has decided to be an oceanographer when he grows up.

This Week: Saturday, May 18 – Do Dah Day & Morel Mushroom Day & The Running of the Preakness
Night Sky, 5/18: Full moon at exactly 5:11 pm (EDT). The moon rises around sunset and shines above the rising head of Scorpius. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Sunday, May 19 – Boys Club Day & National Scooter Day
Monday, May 20 – National Rescue Dog Day & Weights & Measures Day
Night Sky, 5/20: Vega is now well up in the east-northeast after dark. Look for its faint little constellation Lyra, the Lyre, hanging down from it.
Tuesday, May 21 – National Wait Staff Day & Sister Maria Hummel Day
Wednesday, May 22 – Canadian Immigrants Day & Harvey Milk Day
Thursday, May 23 – Emergency Medical Services Day & National Taffy Day & World Turtle Day
Instead of cleaning, I just watch an episode of Hoarders. Then I realize how fantastic my house really looks. / I'm not a fabric hoarder; I am the curator of an extensive private textile collection.
..........Believe me, baby, now I love you the best.........Taj Mahal …..The Calypsonians
^^ Unlike past mass extinctions, caused by events like asteroid strikes, volcanic eruptions, and natural climate shifts, the current crisis is almost entirely caused by us — humans. In fact, 99 percent of currently threatened species are at risk from human activities, primarily those driving habitat loss, introduction of exotic species, and global warming.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dear Mexican Cartel, Sorry about marijuana, but if you want to make up for that lost revenue, we could really use some insulin. Grácias, The US
Moonbeam: Within our dreams and aspirations we find our opportunities. --Sugar Ray Leonard
Late Night Snacks of the Week: While we were talking about the Mueller report, we found out that Drumpf lost over a billion dollars in 10 years. This is distracting. It's like everyone read a different book, they all talk at the same time, and instead of rosé, people do uncut cocaine while Skrillex plays. --Seth Meyers / The White House hosted some of the “Boston Red Socks” team. At least 10 members of the team declined the invitation, all of whom are Latino and/or African American. Apparently, they didn’t want to be in a place associated with racism other than Fenway Park. --Stephen Colbert / If they break up Facebook...how do you break up Facebook? Would they split it up with all the things that it does? So now, I’ll just have a Facebook that just reminds me when my friends’ birthdays are, and then a separate Facebook that gives me wrong news, and then one more Facebook that sells my data to Russia. --Trevor Noah / Representative Steve Chabot of Ohio called the findings of the Mueller investigation a “big fat zero”. Well, it’s a big fat zero plus a big fat 34 indictments plus a big fat 11 instances of possible obstruction of justice but it’s OK. We all round down to the nearest zero. --Samatha Bee
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: This is the first child of Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan. The baby is, I'm sure you want to know, seventh in line to the throne after his grandfather, his uncle and his cousins. Really, to put it in American terms, it's like being the secretary of agriculture, right? --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me 5/11/19
Nothing could be worse than the fear that one had given up too soon, and left one unexpended effort that might have saved the world. --Jane Addams, founder of WILPF
My Hoarding Joke: It's in here somewhere. Oh, wait, I left in under the despair, next to the sadness. / Wealthy people who have multiple houses are really just hoarders that have found a loophole.
..........talking down in Kauai.........Taj Mahal …..Coconut Man
^^^ No group of animals has a higher rate of endangerment than amphibians. Scientists estimate that a third or more of all the roughly 6,300 known species of amphibians are at risk of extinction. Frogs, toads, and salamanders are disappearing because of habitat loss, water and air pollution, climate change, ultraviolet light exposure, introduced exotic species, and disease.
Worthless Facts of the Week: On May 17th the very first Kentucky Derby race was run. In front of a crowd of approximately 10,000 fans, fifteen three-year old Thoroughbreds raced for 1 and a half miles on a fast track at Churchill Downs in Louisville, Kentucky. A chestnut Thoroughbred named Aristides won the race, finishing in just over 2 minutes and thirty-seven seconds. Aristides was ridden by a jockey, Oliver Lewis.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My uterus has never shot anyone. And yet it gets more legislation than guns. --Submitted by ss of ks
Weird Word of the Week: Cockalorum – A little man with a high opinion of himself. (1710s). https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cockalorum
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean crayon from a blackboard. Spray WD-40 on the crayon marks, let soak for 10 minutes, then blot clean with a cloth. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wd40.html
Being organized is for people who are too lazy to look for their stuff. / The Tooth Fairy soon realized that her collection of teeth had gotten out of hand. She was a hoarder and needed help.
...........Well, you know my baby, she's long, my baby she's tall.........Taj Mahal …..She Caught the Katy & Left Me a Mule to Ride
^^^^ Invertebrates are vastly diverse — and though no one knows just how many invertebrate species exist, they're estimated to account for about 97 percent of the total species of animals on Earth. Of the 1.3 million known invertebrate species, the IUCN has evaluated about 9,526 species; about 30 percent of them at risk of extinction. Freshwater invertebrates are severely threatened by water pollution, groundwater withdrawal, and water projects, while a large number of invertebrates of notable scientific significance have become either endangered or extinct due to deforestation, especially because of the rapid destruction of tropical rain forests.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Louisville, KY … The only place w here people party 2 weeks for a 2 minute horserace.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Keycon 36 (17-19, Winnipeg,MB) --Monty and Max and Vampyres! Oh, My! http://www.keycon.org/36/
Actual Science Convention of the Week:2019 2nd International Conference on Nanomaterials, Materials and Manufacturing Engineering (ICNMM, 17-19, Bangkok) Seriously
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck stopping to smell the dandelions between cases.

It's not hoarding if it's Star Trek. / Pinterest is the “Hoarders” of the internet. / You're not buying all that fabric, are you? Yes, but look how much I'm leaving behind.
..........caught a nine pound catfish.........Taj Mahal …..Fishing Blues
^^^^^ About 90 percent of primates — the group that contains monkeys, lemurs, lorids, galagos, tarsiers, and apes (as well as humans) — live in tropical forests, which are fast disappearing. The IUCN estimates that almost 50 percent of the world's primate species are at risk of extinction. Overall, the IUCN estimates that half the globe's 5,491 known mammals are declining in population and a fifth are clearly at risk of disappearing forever with no less than 1,131 mammals across the globe classified as endangered, threatened, or vulnerable
Month of the Week: May is Mystery Month –How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Unnamed Mexican officials told San Diego’s KUSI-TV that 15 to 20 people have been arrested for stealing concertina wire from the U.S.-Mexico border and selling it to security-minded homeowners in Tijuana.
Grammar Joke of the Week: Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out. It could spell disaster.
Today's Peace of History, May 17, 1954: In a major civil rights victory, the U.S. Supreme Court handed down a unanimous decision in Brown v. Board of Education, ruling "separate but equal" public education to be unconstitutional under the 14th Amendment, which guaranteed equal treatment under the law. The historic decision, bringing an end to federal tolerance of racial segregation, specifically dealt with Linda Brown, a young African American girl denied admission to her local elementary school in Topeka, Kansas, because of the color of her skin.
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of other plastic bags somewhere in their house, or is it just me? / I'm a hoarder. I take my problems and force them up in to a remote room in the corner of my brain to collect dust. A room I keep closed, locked, and bolted. It's kind of problem attic.
..........Oh, she rock to my soul.........Taj Mahal …..Queen Bee
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle May 17, 2019, Cached ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Laughs, peace, and lots of stuff. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: I've just never been a person that was political or religiously savvy. Except for the fact that I was born Jewish. That gives me 10 circumcision jokes. --Bob Saget
Cost of War:
As of 5/16/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,924,171,215,855.
As of 5/9/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,922,451,509,187.
As of 5/16/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $896,611,621,701.
As of 5/9/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $895,442,716,965.
As of 5/16/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $676,826,128,978.
As of 5/9/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $675,356,438,705.
As of 5/16/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $309,460,500,368.
As of 5/9/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $309,126,444,292.
As of 5/16/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,807,070,229,299.
As of 5/9/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,802,377,962,456.
At the end of this war the world will have to decide which way it desires to go, towards disarmament or destruction, there will be no middle course. The choice is really between basing our civilization on faith or fear, and the question of armaments stands at the parting of the ways. --Marian Ellis Cripps, founder of WILPF
..........You will accompany me.........Taj Mahal …..Farther on Down the Road
My weight is a psychological problem. My stomach is a hoarder. / My parents were hoarders before hoarding was cool.
Famous Last Words: And the President of the United States shall make such regulations as are necessary to carry out the provisions of this section. --The Organic Act of 1884 making Alaska a territory.
May Peace increase your security
And Joy collect your delight
prairie mama
christine


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