Friday, June 7, 2019

Natural ePistle


Famous First Words: Everything is wrong... Rolling Stone Come On !! Their first single recorded 6/7/63
June is Great Outdoors Month! People is sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world. They call them snack packs. / Camping Tips: When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.
..........Butterflies all flutter up and kiss each buttercup at dawning.....Dean Martin …..Carolina in the Morning
God hath made of one blood all nations of men to dwell on the earth, in unity and blessedness. God has also bestowed certain rights alike on all men and all chiefs, and all people of all lands. --Hawaiian Declaration of Rights
It is a beautiful Friday morning. 71°F is perfect for walking and sitting in the backyard. The sky has only thin wispy bits of cloud and one serious jet trail. There is little breeze so even the willows are hardly moving. Birds of a dozen different songs hide in the branches and leaves. Now and then one will swoop from yard to yard, across the street, into the weedy grasses of the park, but silently. Puck barks at rabbits and robins as we walk, but sits quietly beside me now that we are sitting outside. The world is damp and smells of wet soil; every cool surface is covered in dew. Mist rises from my coffee cup. I sip the sweet brown liquid and take another deep breathe of humid air before retreating indoors to write to you.
Hope Mother Nature smiles on your weekend, ePistliers.
One time an adventurer paddling on a northern river got cold and lit a fire in his boat, only to discover that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too. / Emails to the US Forest Service: There are too many rocks in the mountains.
..........And lots of hours to spend with you.....Tom Jones …..What's New, Pussycat
Day of the Day of the Week: Today – because it is the first Friday of June – is Donut Day aka Doughnut Day. Here on the great plains Krispy Kreme, Dunkin Donuts and Walmart are all offering a free doughnut to celebrate! Enjoy.
Trivia Questions: Happy National Chocolate Ice Cream Day.
^ Chocolate ice cream is older than vanilla. More or less when was the first recipe published?
^^ Any idea which American company was the first to sell chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream?
^^^ What causes “ice cream headache” anyway?
^^^^ Know what the original flavors of Neapolitan ice cream were?
^^^^^ What is in a Frozen Mud Pie any way?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Noted Kansas Paleontologists have revised their date for the last time Kansas was covered with ocean from 145.5 million years ago to yesterday.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 4/3 librarians got into the profession because they are really good at math. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
After a night of camping the Lone Ranger woke to see his tent blown away by a tornado. He declared, “Tonto, we’re not in canvas anymore.” / Emails to the US Forest Service: The places where trails do not exist are not well marked.
….......Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling.....Dean Martin …..That's Amore
Moonbeam: Fashions come and go; bad taste is timeless. --Beau Brummell
Something to Think About of the Week: Spiral Bee Hive    The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. --Buddha

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Someone keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off. I'm being stalked. --Submitted by ma of va
Week of the Week: International Clothesline Week (1-8) --A young couple moved into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging her laundry outside. “That laundry is not very clean,” she says. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.” Her husband looked on but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her laundry to dry, the young woman would make the same comments. About a month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, “Look, she has learned how to wash. I wonder how that happened?” The husband said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.
A young camper is swimming in a river. A man walks up and asks him, “What are you doing in there?” He says, “I’m washing my clothes.” The man asks, “Why don’t you use a washing machine?” The camper says, “I tried that, but I got too dizzy.” / Camping Tips: When smoking fish, never inhale.
…....Just as if the world is at your feet.....Tom Jones …..Field of Yellow Daisies
^ Chocolate ice cream was invented long before vanilla and the first documented recipe for it appeared in 1692 in The Modern Steward. Vanilla was difficult to get before the mid 19th century.
Almanac: It is Friday, June 7, 2019. The moon will be first quarter on Monday and is in Leo. It is National Chocolate Ice Cream Day, Boone (Daniel) Day, Positive Power of Humor and Creativity Days, VCR Day, and Banana Split Days. Because it is the first Friday in June it is also Donut Day. In the Bahamas it is Labour Day.
Among those born on this day were Beau Brummel (1778), Susan Blow (1843), Paul Gauguin (1848), Robert Mulliken (1896), Jessica Tandy (1909), Dean Martin (1917), Rocky Graziano (1922), Tom Jones (1940), and Mark Wahlberg (1971).
On June seventh Louis XIV was crowned king of Franch (1692), the Hawaiian Declaration of Rights was signed (1839), Lincoln was re-nominated by the Republican party (1864), the monotype type-casting machine was patented (1887), Papagena (aka Asteroid #471) was discovered (1901), the NY Times agreed to capitalize the n in "Negro" (1930), the first microbiology laboratory was dedicated (NJ, 1954), and the Rolling Stones first appeared on television (Thank Your Lucky Stars, 1963).
Night Sky, 6/7: Just after dark look for Regulus upper left of the Moon. From there you can trace out the rest of Leo. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max says, Hidey-ho, Neighbor

This Week: Saturday, June 8 – World Oceans Day & International Young Eagles Day & National Marina Day
Sunday, June 9 – Children's Sunday & Donald Duck Day
Night Sky, 6/9: The middle star of the Big Dipper's bent handle is Mizar, with tiny little Alcor right next to it. On which side of Mizar should you look for Alcor? As always, on the side toward Vega! Which is now the brightest star in the east. If your eyes aren't quite sharp enough, binoculars show Alcor easily.
Monday, June 10 – Ball Point Pen Day & Iced Tea Day & AA Founders Day
Night Sky, 6/10: In June, Jupiter can be seen in its brightest and biggest form, because it will be positioned directly opposite to the sun from our Earth point of view and well-illuminated from sunset to sunrise. Jupiter’s atmospheric details and moons will be visible with the help of a pair of binoculars or a small telescope, while the fiery Great Red Spot can be seen with a larger backyard telescope.
Tuesday, June 11 – Corn on the Cob Day & National Cotton Candy Day & World Pet Memorial Day
Night Sky, 6/11: A third of the way from Arcturus to Vega, look for Corona Borealis with 2nd-magnitude Alphecca as its one moderately bright star. Two thirds of the way from Arcturus to Vega is the dim Keystone of Hercules, lying almost level. Use binoculars or a telescope to examine its top edge.
Wednesday, June 12 – National Jerky Day & Superman Day
Thursday, June 13 – Roller Coaster Day & Random Acts of Light
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion.” “I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.” / Acupuncture was discovered by a camper who found a porcupine in his sleeping bag.
….......And her name is Rosabella.....Dean Martin …..The Lady with the Big Umbrella
^^ Ben & Jerry's was the first company to sell chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in 1991. It was created from an anonymous suggestion on a board in the Burlington VT shop.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: No, I'm not really an OB/GYN, but I play one in Congress.
Moonbeam: If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed, but either too stiff, too tights, or too fashionable. --Beau Brummell
Late Night Snacks of the Week: I can’t believe how much Mueller’s press conference has emboldened the Democrats. You realise like a week ago they were considering impeachment, and now they’re fully in. It’s like if your granny was, like, finally ready to consider getting an email address and then a week later, she’s indicted for hacking into the Pentagon. ...I don’t think Drumpf touching the Queen was offensive. What was offensive was Drumpf’s outfit for the big dinner. How can a man have access to the nuclear codes but not a tailor? --Trevor Noah / It was quite a weekend. Abe took Drumpf to play golf. They had cheeseburgers together, they went to the wrestling match. It was like a divorced dad spending the weekend with his teenage son. --Jimmy Kimmel / For yet another day, America was 239lb smarter. (On the picture of Jared and Ivanka in Buckingham Palace) Sometimes, if you listen closely, you can still hear them having no business there. --Stephen Colbert
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: All right. Here's your first question, Charles. During the early days of spaceflight, TV stations would often broadcast the astronauts live. And NASA was worried that one of their astronauts in particular would swear when the whole world was watching him. In order to prevent that, NASA did what? A, they told him that for safety's sake, he had to wear a gag so he wouldn't, quote, "inhale space"... B, through a careful PSYOPS campaign, they convinced him that the most offensive swear he could possibly say was gadzooks ... Or C, they hypnotized him so he would hum anytime he wanted to swear? Option C - you're right. That's what they did: NASA says - they admit they did this - they've never said what astronaut they did it to, but it is absolutely true that astronaut Pete Conrad, while he was on the moon on one of the Apollo missions, weirdly hummed all the time, so... Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me 5/1/19
These are some of the rights which He has given alike to every man and every chief of correct deportment; life, limb, liberty, freedom from oppression; the earnings of his hands and the productions of his mind --Hawaiian Declaration of Rights
Three campers were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. The first one said, “Look, it’s deer tracks.” The second one said, “No, it’s wolf tracks” but before the third one could answer, they got hit by a train. / Emails to the US Forest Service: A McDonalds would be nice at the trail head.
…........Always something nice to say.........Tom Jones …..She's a Lady
^^^ Ice cream headaches happen when the nerve endings on the roof of your mouth which are not used to being cold send a message to your brain signaling a loss of body heat.
Worthless Fact of the Week: On 2019 Jul 04 UT, the 130.7 km diameter asteroid (471) Papagena, will occult a 12.1 mag star in the constellation Sagittarius for observers along a path across S USA, Mexico. In the case of an occultation, the combined light of the asteroid and the star will drop by 0.38 mag to 11.13 mag (the magnitude of the asteroid) for at most 9.1 seconds. http://www.asteroidoccultation.com/2019_07/0704_471_60582_Summary.txt
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just got back from the centrist rally. Amazing turnout. Thousands of people holding hands and chanting, “Better Things Aren't Possible” --Submitted by JCDSA
Obsolete Word of the Week: bijoux – jewellery; trinkets ... pronounced: bē'zhoo Their natural graces and their bijoux are the details which set off their charms so splendidly. https://www.dictionary.com/browse/bijoux
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent Cat Hairballs. Add a teaspoon of Wesson Vegetable Oil to one cat meal daily. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wesson.html
All joking aside, what should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? / Emails to the US Forest Service: Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow in the winter.
….......More than any June night.....Dean Martin …..Magic Is the Moonlight
^^^^ The earliest versions of Neapolitan were made of green pistachio (Spumoni), white vanilla, and red cherry to resemble the Italian flag. It shifted to vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry in the US because these were the 3 most popular flavors.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Carnival Sign: Tent poles are not for pole dancing. Please find alternative ways to disappoint your father.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: SoonerCon 2019 (7-9, Norman, OK) Promoting arts, literature, and the sciences through the lens of pop culture. https://www.soonercon.com/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: INFORMS, Association of Latin-Iberoamerican Operational Research Societies (7-12, Cancun, Mexico) Exchange ideas on classic topics covered by OR/MS and Analytics such as services, logistics and transportation, and supply chain management... http://meetings2.informs.org/wordpress/2019international/
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck finding a tiny pool of sun for siesta in the case of the Napping New Guinea.

A husband and wife were driving through the mountains. As they approached their campsite, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They continued to argue back and forth as they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are?” She leaned over the counter and said, “Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.” / Camping Tips: You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.
….......Where is your light.......Tom Jones …..You Make Me Smile
^^^^^ A Frozen Mud Pie contains chocolate sandwich cookie crumbs, coffee ice cream, miniature chocolate chips, hot fudge topping, crushed chocolate sandwich cookies, frozen whipped topping, and chocolate syrup. Here's the actual recipe: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/219024/best-mud-pie/
Month of the Week: June Diary Month –Farmer Fanny's cows were so pampered they gave spoiled milk. / Farmer Frank threw a milk bottle at me today. How dairy.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why are we forcing a single payer military plan on everyone? There should be a basic military that covers you, and if you want to bomb another country on top of that, you pay for it yourself. It's about choice. --Veterans For Peace
Grammar Joke of the Week: What do you call Santa’s little helpers? A: Subordinate clauses ~I'm running out of grammar jokes; does anyone know a website?
Today's Peace of History, June 7, 1997: 7 activists were arrested for distributing copies of the Bill of Rights outside the Bradbury Science Museum, part of Los Alamos National Laboratory in NM, the primary nuclear research facility in the US.
You know your Canadian if you bring a portable TV on a camping trip so that you don't miss Hockey Night. / Emails to the US Forest Service: A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Can I get reimbursed?
…......My moment with you is now ending.....Dean Martin …..Goodnight, My Love
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle June 7, 2019, Natural ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Peace, Laughs, and S'mores. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: The problem with our existence is that our experiences contain more hate than love. --Beau Brummell
Cost of War:
As of 6/6/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,930,109,573,471.
As of 5/30/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,928,120,143,236.
As of 6/6/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $900,647,209,702.
As of 5/30/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $899,295,167,506.
As of 6/6/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $681,899,243,242.
As of 5/30/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $680,199,559,915.
As of 6/6/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $310,613,445,896.
As of 5/30/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $310,227,152,870.
As of 6/6/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,823,270,271,169.
As of 5/30/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,817,842,675,651.
No chief may be able to oppress any subject, but that chiefs and people may enjoy the same protection, under one and the same law. --Hawaiian Declaration of Rights
….......Oh, please, turn your back........Tom Jones …..All I Can Say Is Goodbye
A dog goes into a camping store and buys a tent. The cashier says, “You don’t see a dog in here buying a tent very often.” The dog says, “At these prices, I’m not surprised.” / Emails to the US Forest Service: In the future, avoid building trails that go uphill.
Famous Last Words: ...but I have nothing more to say. --Abraham Lincoln Speech at 1864 GOP Nominating Convention
May Peace supply you rain
And Joy provide you sunshine
prairie mama
christine


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