Friday, August 24, 2018

Elusive ePistle


Famous First Words: An Act to outlaw the Communist Party... Communist Control Act of 1954
Happy Waffle Day!! Waffles are just pancakes with abs. / Where do waffles go on vacation? Sandy Eggo.
..........Can't wait to get a mouthful..........Parry Gripp …..Do You Like Waffles
A peace that depends on fear is nothing but a suppressed war. --Henry Van Dyke
It is soft Friday morning. The sky is misty without being cloudy; it is merely early morning eye fuzzy that will clear sky as soon as the sun clears the treetops. The very light breeze swishes around the long willow branches suggesting a slow cascade of grace from top to ground. The grass is sparkly with dew and left over rain. Puck sits in the open doorway watching the morning yard...waiting. A raspy bird conversation floats across the lawn from an unknown source. Two voices participate and then go silent. Puck is arguing (silently) with flies who see the open door as an opportunity to come inside and make themselves at home. Apparently the smell of stale incense is an invitation. I inhale the aroma; I like it too. The 74°F is perfect for enjoying a near dawn experience and Puck lays down now in the doorway and together we listen the the bird jingle – Tweeter, Tweeter, TWEET, tweeter...an ad for morning and joy. And for a moment the wind dies down, the birds are gone, and only stillness remains. How very nice. I take a long, deep drink of decaf from my Christmas mug and sit down to think about you.
Hope your weekend is covered in butter and syrup, ePistliers.
Waffles are pancakes with syrup traps. / When someone types ROFL I always imagine Scooby-Doo trying to say waffle.
..........Waffle of the ancients.........Five Iron Frenzy …..Abraham Lincoln Beard
Trivia Questions: Happy International Bat Night !!
^ About how many bugs does a bat eat anyway?
^^ How high, long, etc. can bats fly?
^^^ Any idea what's the world's largest bat?
^^^^ What do you know about Vampire Bats?
^^^^^ Know the scientific name for bats?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: A reference desk hat trick is three 'Where's the restroom?' questions in a row. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week2: New Rule: You can't Confirm a Supreme Court Justice in the last year of your crime syndicate.
After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker's boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers. Angrily she asked, "If you had 4 waffles and I asked for one, how many would you have left?" Quickly he replied, "If it was you who asked, I'd still have 4 waffles."
..........At the edge of the dark abyss.........David Wilcox …..Waffle House
Moonbeam: Good sense about trivialities is better than nonsense about things that matter. --Max Beerbohm
Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: Khe chare – Pashto (Afghanistan) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You have a smile that could light up a whole psych ward.
Week of the Week: August is National Truancy Prevention Month –I don't know the meaning of the word truant. I must have missed that day at school.
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week2: Undocumented immigrants commit crimes at a considerably lower rate than election campaign staff of Donald J. Trump. --Submitted by ra of ks
Tech Support Hotline here. I checked the serial number on your laptop and it a waffle iron. / You sounded kind of sick, so I put cough syrup on your waffles.
..........bring down your waffle and raffle fair fair........Comecon …..Sunday Stroll
^ A single bat can eat more than 600 bugs in one hour, which is like a person eating 20 pizzas a night. According to Bat Conservation International, 150 big brown bats can eat enough cucumber beetles in one summer to save farmers a billion dollars a year. Those beetles would have had 33 million larvae, which are what attack the crops.
Almanac: It is Friday, August 24, 2018. The moon will be full (Sturgeon) on Sunday and is in Aquarius. It is National Waffle Day and International Bat Night. In Liberia it is Flag Day (1847) and in Sierra Leone it 's the President's Birthday.
Among those born on this date were Geoffrey Plantagenet (1113), Max Beerbohm (1872), Albert Claude (1898), Jorge Luis Borges (1899), Durward Kirby (1912), Dennis James (1917), Louis Teicher (1924), Steve Guttenberg (1958), and Marlee Matlin (1965).
On August twenty-fourth Vesuvius buried Pompeii (79), Visigoths conquered Rome (410), the waffle iron was invented (1869), Edison patented the motion picture camera (1891), Alaska organized itself into a territory (1912), the US passed the Communist Control Act (1954), the Doors began recording their first album (The Doors, 1966), the Ukraine declared independence from the USSR (1991), and Pluto was demoted (2006).
Night Sky, 8/24: After dark the Great Square of Pegasus looms up in the east, balancing on one corner. Its stars are only 2nd and 3rd magnitude. Extending leftward from the Square's left corner is the main line of the constellation Andromeda, made of three stars (including the corner) about as bright as those forming the Square. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Bubonicon 50 (8/24-26, Albuquerque, NM) The Golden Age of Science Fiction http://bubonicon.com/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: ACN – International Conference on Environment, Agriculture and Biotechnology ICEABT. (8/24, Kyoto, Japan) ...a prestigious event organized with a motivation to provide an excellent international platform for the academicians, researchers, engineers, industrial participants and budding students around the world...
This Week: Saturday, August 25 National Second-hand Wardrobe Day & Sand Castle Day
Night Sky, 8/25 : This evening the Moon shines far left of Mars; they're on opposite sides of Capricornus.
Sunday, August 26 – Women's Equality Day & National Toilet Paper Day & National Dog Day
Monday, August 27 – Just Because Day
Tuesday, August 28 – National Bow Tie Day & Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day
Night Sky, 8/28 : Mercury is bright and well placed in the dawn sky.
Wednesday, August 29 – More Herbs, Less Salt Day & According to Hoyle Day & Individual Rights Day
Thursday, August 30 – National Grief Awareness Day & National Toasted Marshmallow Day
Waffle House: Because the poor decisions you made the night before weren't enough. / Pancakes, Pancakes are waffles plain and flat.
..........A man who makes a living off a plastic waffle.........Todd Rundgren …..An Elpee's Worth of Toons
^^ Some Mexican free-tailed bats can fly up to 250 miles (402 km) in a single night. They can fly up to 10,000 feet (3,048 m) high and reach speeds up to 60 miles per hour (97kph).
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: As a kid I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn't have a brain. Then I got Facebook. --Submitted by ll of ks
Moonbeam: It is the cells which create and maintain in us, during the span of our lives, our will to live and survive, to search and experiment, and to struggle. --Albert Claude
Late Night Snacks: On "Fox & Friends" this morning, Brian Kilmeade said that Omarosa had outsmarted Drumpf. But to be fair, Drumpf also been outsmarted by the child safety locks in his limo. --Jimmy Fallon / Vice President Mike Pence appeared today in Iowa to give a speech about taxes. I'm not saying the speech was boring, but it is being offered as a new setting on white noise machines. --Seth Meyers / According to a new article, Donald Drumpf Jr. and his girlfriend, former Fox News anchor Kimberly Guilfoyle, have cute new nicknames for each other. He refers to her as Pooh Bear and she refers to him as Junior Mint. I guess Junior Mint will do until he gets his soon-to-come nickname, Federal Inmate #7544. --James Corden / Trump said Brennan leveraged his status and made unfounded and outrageous allegations, wild outbursts on the internet and televsion, and increasingly frenzied commentary. I'd say that's the pot callinhg the kettle black but there may be tapes of him calling the kettle someething much worse. --Stephen Colbert
Not So Late Night Snacks: Now little girls can grow up watching that (Ocean's 8) and they can think "ok, maybe I can't become president but I can grow up to be a pickpocket or a swindler or a hustler, you know, if I play my cards right I can grow up to be a criminal and then I can become president". --Ophira Eisenberg Ask Me Another
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week2: Impeach the Unindicted Co-Conspirator
When we come to it we, this people, on this wayward, floating body created on this earth, of this earth have the power to fashion for this earth a climate where every man and every woman can live freely without sanctimonious piety, without crippling fear. --Maya Angelo
..........It will be so great with waffles on my plate.........Veggie Tales …..Promised Land
^^^ The world’s largest bat is the giant golden-crowned flying fox, a rare fruit bat. It has a wingspan of 5 to 6 feet (1.5 to 1.8 m).
Worthless Fact of the Week: There are 5 officially recognized dwarf planets in our solar system, they are Ceres, Pluto, Haumea, Makemake and Eris. With the exception of Ceres, which is located in the asteroid belt, the other dwarf planets are found in the outer solar system.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Be kind to atheists. They are the ones that will be taking care of your pets after you are raptured. --Submitted by rhb of ks
Weird Word of the Week: Yonks – a long time You would indeed have to be from Britain or the Commonwealth to know yonks, since I don’t think it’s found in the USA at all. Everyone is as puzzled as you are by this curious word, which appeared in print in the UK in the late 1950s with no clear link to any other word in the language. It usually turns up in the phrase for yonks, for a long time. “This is the earliest example that I’ve uncovered: On July 4 the results of the bulling that has been going on for the past yonks bore fruit when a lot of blokes in the Reem came up to inspect our vehicles. The Tank, the journal of the Royal Tank Regiment, Sep. 1960. http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-yon1.htm
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week2: If Donald Trump wanted Hillary Clinton go get locked up, he should have put her in his cabinet. --Submitted by ma of va
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove makeup. Vaseline Petroleum Jelly takes off mascara, eye-liner, lipstick, rouge, and powders. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/vaseline.html
A Mormon mother was preparing waffles for her sons, Owen, 5, and Bill, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first one. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first waffle. I can wait." Owen turned to his younger brother and said, "Bill, you be Jesus.
...........Waffle making, kicking through the shins.........Rancid …..Brews
^^^^ Vampire bats do not actually “suck” blood. Instead, they typically “lap” up two teaspoons of blood a night with their tongues. The blood moves through the bat’s mouth in two channels under its tongue. Its body uses only red blood cells, and within two minutes of starting to eat, the bat’s body rids itself of blood plasma in the form of urine.
Grammar Joke of the Week: At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
Science on the Internet: The Mars Rover, Curiosity, found and unexplained object. NASA has figured it out … and a lot of other stuff too. Mars Update
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can't get any worse than it started.
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck pacing the patio in the case of the Neighborly Nebelung.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week2: You're all attacking him but Trump is one of the few employers out there willing to provide employment for convicted felons. --Peter Schultz
Waffle House Risk Assessment: If a Waffle House store is open and offering a full menu, the index is green. If it is open but serving from a limited menu, it’s yellow. When the location has been forced to close, the index is red. Because Waffle House is well-prepared for disasters… it’s rare for the index to hit red.
..........Waffle is the language that they taught you.........Van Morrison …..Educating Archie
^^^^^ The scientific name for bats, Chiroptera, is from the Greek cheir = hand + pteron = wing, or “hand wing.”
Month of the Week: Arrr-gust is International Pirate Month --When Bluebeard the pirate fell overboard into the Red Sea he was marooned. / What did the Dyslexic Pirate say as he fell overboard? RRRRRRRA!
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If Trump wants a big parade in his honor, all he has to do it resign. --Submitted by bm of ga
Today's Peace of History, August 24, 1970: United Farm Workers Organizing Committee (UFWOC) leader Cesar Chavez called for a consumer boycott of lettuce to support the strike against lettuce growers who would not negotiate contracts with the farm workers for decent wages and working conditions.
Waffles are like baseball teams, they start with a good batter. / I was at the gym working my pancake into waffle.
..........improvised on the waffle iron.........Gutterball …..Lester Young
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, August 24, 2018, Elusive ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Peace, Laughs, and Snacks. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library. --Jorge Luis Borges
Cost of War:
As of 8/23/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,849,170,607,358.
As of 8/16/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,847,123,841,080.
As of 8/23/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $845,640,156,279.
As of 8/16/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $844,249,157,200.
As of 8/23/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $612,747,785,570.
As of 8/16/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $610,998,847,911.
As of 8/23/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $294,897,162,728.
As of 8/16/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $294,499,715,649.
As of 8/23/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,602,456,278,251.
As of 8/16/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,596,872,233,132.
There is no trust more sacred than the one the world holds with children. There is no duty more important than ensuring that their rights are respected, that their welfare is protected, that their lives are free from fear and want and that they grow up in peace. --Kofi Annan
..........You'll never find a batter any better in this whole stinkin' town..........Al Yankovic …..Waffle King
If it involves dungeons and dragons, sci-fi, or waffles, count me in. / I understand Lay's is coming out with a Chicken & Waffles flavored potato chip.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week2: Don's Cons … Full Court Press --New York Post
Famous Last Words: My only friend, the end. The End The Doors
May Peace beat your batter
And Joy flip your cake
prairie mama
christine


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