Friday, August 10, 2018

Ecstatic ePistle


Famous First Words: To implement recomendations of the Commission on Wartime Relocation and Internment of Civilians. --Civil Liberties Act of 1988
August is Happiness Happens Month! Money can't buy happiness...but poverty can't buy anything.
..........to me he was so good.........Eddie Fisher …..Oh! My Papa
I'm still bothered by the threat of nuclear war. --Alastair Reynolds
It is a Fantastic Friday morning. 69°F is cool enough that we have the backdoor open. Puck and I are both staring into our new backyard. Immediately behind us and behind the rugged privacy fence is a tall, graceful willow which is moving not one inch in the lack of wind. A mist covers the ground to about eye height and gives the scene a dreamy effect. Puck sits in the doorway and waits for Bruno, the little dog with a huge yard behind the chain link. But Bruno has not made an appearance yet this morning. The lawn is a bit overgrown but sparkles with dew and last night's rain. The patch of sky we see is crossed by utility cables but shows the same vague mistiness that haunts the ground. I hear no birdsong. But the grinding of distant motors is also missing and it's only Puck's low growlings at the man behind the privacy fence – whose back door is clearly visible from our door – who dares to come into his yard while Puck stands guard is all I hear. I take a long sip of the now cool decaf carefully altered to be sweet and creamy and I move the incense so the smoke drifts out the door and blends with the smell of damp soil and wet cement. A bird flies through the patch of sky, disappears into the willow and sings a new song I am not used to. How perfect. And now – while still glancing out my door – I get to write to you. Fantastic, right?
Hope your weekend is so happy you can't contain it, ePistliers. A least half of my stuff is still in boxes (some still at the old house) but I've survived and know where a lot of stuff is.
The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory. / You look as happy as a tick on a fat dog.
..........He who made kittens put snakes in the grass.........Jethro Tull …..Bungle in the Jungle
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Missouri, how does it feel to be 197 years old?
^ Any idea where the “Show Me State” name came from?
^^ Missouri is a neighborly state, how many of it's 8 border states can you name?
^^^ It's common knowledge that the mule is the state animal, know what the state bird is?
^^^^ What does the word Missouri mean?
^^^^^ What was the other state in the Missouri Compromise (1845)?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Despite his repeated assertions that he's a victim of a witch hunt, we witches want to formally state that we do not recognize Drumpf as an accredited witch, and are in no way affiliated with, nor in support of his administration. --vr of 66
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: When a librarian finally snaps there's a 35% chance that a 'Reply All' email is to blame. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
I never knew what true happiness was until they elected Trump, then it was too late. / You look as happy as the butcher's dog.
..........And the flowers bloom like madness in the spring.........Jethro Tull …..Aqualung
Moonbeam: Older men declare war. But it is youth that must fight and die. --Herbert Hoover
Something to Think About of the Week

Big Hello: Alii – Palauan (Palau, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Went to buy eggs. Forgot ID. Bought a gun instead. --Submitted by bd of ny
Week of the Week: National Psychic Week (8/6-10) –Why do you need to make an appointment with a psychic? Surely they know you're coming. / When psychics meet, they usually say, “You're fine, so fine. How am I?”
I asked Jane what she wanted for her birthday. She told me "Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace" So I bought her nothing. / You look as happy as Rush Limbaugh in an oxycontin factor.
..........And if you spoke at all you just said hi.........Jimmy Dean ….Big Bad John
^ The 'Show Me State' expression may have began in 1899 when Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver stated, "I'm from Missouri and you've got to show me." ~~ Or more exactly, "I come from a state that raises corn and cotton, cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I'm from Missouri, and you have got to show me." in the middle of a speech
Almanac: It is Friday, August 10, 2018. The moon will be new tomorrow and is in Leo. It is Lazy Day and S'mores Day. In Ecuador it is Independence Day (1809) and in Missouri it is Admission Day (1821).
Among those born on this day were Herbert Hoover (1874), Norma Shearer (1900), Eddie Fisher (1928), Jimmy Dean (1928), Ian Anderson (aka Jethro Tull, 1947) and Rosanna Arquette (1959).
On August tenth Missouri was admitted to the union (24th, 1821), Nat Turner's insurrection began (1831), Chicago was incorporated (1833) and Candid Camera debutted (1948).
Night Sky, 8/10: Bright Vega passes closest to overhead soon after dark now. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: OzCon International (August 10-12, Pomona, CA) Celebrating L Frank Baum & the Land of Oz for over 50 years. http://www.ozconinternational.com/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: Stoller: A Comprehensive Review in Musculoskeletal Imaging (8/10, Collins, Australia) Dr. Stoller delivers 18 didactic lectures of the entire field of orthopaedic MR imaging of the joints. http://stollermskcourse.com/august-2018/
This Week: Saturday, August 11 – National Bowling Day & National Hip Hop Day
Sunday, August 12 – International Youth Day & Milkman Day & Vinyl Record Day
Night Sky, 8/12: It's Perseid weekend! The annual meteor shower should come to its peak late Sunday night. The meteors are increasing in number. There's no moonlight and the shower's predicted maximum comes during nighttime for Europe and N. America.
Monday, August 13 – International Lefthander's Day
Tuesday, August 14 – International Rose Day & National Navajo Code Talkers Day
Night Sky, 8/14: Venus, Jupiter, and Mars currently outshine them, but the two brightest stars of summer are Vega, overhead shortly after nightfall, and Arcturus, shining in the west.
Wednesday, August 15 – Best Friends Day & Check the Chip Day
Thursday, August 16 – National Airborne Day & Surveillance Day
Seabiscuit was happy because he lived in a stable environment. / You look as happy as a camel on hump day.
..........catches angels as the fall.........Jethro Tull …..Locomotivebreath
^^ Arkansas, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Nebraska, Oklahoma, and Tennessee all border Missouri.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: De-Yoderize Congress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Moonbeam: All men are equal before fish. --Herbert Hoover
Late Night Snacks: A guy here in New York swims in the Hudson River every week to prove that it's clean. If you want to meet him in person, services are being held on 43rd Street at the Sherwood Funeral Home. --Jimmy Fallon / The New York Mets suffered their worst loss in franchise history last night losing to the Washington Nationals 25-4. It was so bad that even the ceremonial first pitch was hit for a triple. --Seth Meyers / An ice cream shop in Scotland has introduced a new flavor made with a very familiar ingredient. It's called Mayonnaise ice cream. Coincidentally, "Mayonnaise ice cream" is also how dermatologists describe my skin tone. --James Corden
Not So Late Night Snacks: That is where we are. OK, there was a meeting but the president didn't know about it. OK, he knew about it but there was no collusion. OK, there might have been collusion but it's not a crime. That's where we are. OK, it is a crime but it's not a bad crime. OK, it's a bad crime but its not like he murdered 2 people. OK , he murdered 2 people but they deserved it. OK, they didn't deserve it. But trump couldn't have killed them because he was in a meeting with the Russians. --Peter Segal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me
It's a near miracle that nuclear war has so far been avoided. --Noam Chomsky
When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on. / You look as happy as a tornado in a trailer park.
..........I've searched the wide world over.........Eddie Fisher ….Cindy Oh Cindy
^^^ Missouri's state bird is the bluebird and its state insect is the honey bee. ~~Bluebirds eat honey bees. Hum
Worthless Facts of the Week: No one knows for sure who invented the s'more. However, the first published recipe for “some mores" was in a 1927 publication called Tramping and Trailing with the Girl Scouts. Loretta Scott Crew, who made them for Girl Scouts by the campfire, is given credit for the recipe.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If Patrick Stewart can start a new Star Trek series at age 78 (yaaaas btw {various emojis}) Bernie Sanders can run for president. --Birahna
Weird Word of the Week: Virtopsy – a non-invasive autopsy method. Dating from 2007. http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-vir3.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent rust on outdoor machinery. Apply a generous coat of Vaseline Petroleum Jelly. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/vaseline.html
What's the use of happiness. It can't buy you money. --Henny Youngman / You look as happy as a monkey with a peanut machine.
...........If they wouldn't talk so dog-gone loud.........Jimmy Dean …..Please Pass the Biscuits
^^^^ Missouri was named after a tribe called Missouri Indians, meaning “town of the large canoes”.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Idea!! Let's replace Betsy Devos with LeBron James. --Submitted by jm of ks
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck on fleek in the case of the Harried Havana.
If the victories we create in our heads were let loose on reality, the world we know would drown in blazing happiness. --Patton Oswalt / You look as happy as kitten under a leaky cow.
..........Lend me your ear while I call you a fool.........Jethro Tull …..Witch's Promise
^^^^^ After Missouri’s 1819 request for admission to the Union as a slave state, which threatened to upset the delicate balance between slave states and free states, Congress orchestrated a two-part compromise, granting Missouri’s request but also admitting Maine as a free state. The second part drew an imaginary line across the former Louisiana Territory, establishing a boundary between free and slave regions that remained the law of the land until it was negated by the Kansas-Nebraska Act of 1854.
Month of the Week: August is World Mutt-i-grees Rescue Month – They crossed a Bloodhound and a Labrador. The new breed is a Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly. / They crossed a Collie and a Lhasa Apso. The new breed is a Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport. More really bad dog breed jokes: http://www.romanticlovesecrets.com/New-Dog-Cross-Breeds-Mixed-Jokes.html
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I came home & my dog peed a little because he was happy to see me. None of my friends pee when they see me. I'm surrounded by fakes.
Grammar Bar Joke of the Week: Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle. --George Burns / You look as happy as a possum eatin' a sweet tater.
..........And August's rare delight may be April's fool.........Jethro Tull …..Velvet Green
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle August 10, 2018, Ecstatic ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Peace, Love, and Happiness. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: The use of the atomic bomb, with its indiscriminate killing of women and children, revolts my soul. --Herbert Hoover
Cost of War:
As of 8/9/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,845,243,866,479.
As of 8/2/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,843,218,709,739.
As of 8/9/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $842,971,649,503.
As of 8/2/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $840,595,147,367.
As of 8/9/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $609,392,004,067.
As of 8/2/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $607,662,672,090.
As of 8/9/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $294,134,793,601.
As of 8/2/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $293,741,450,907.
As of 8/9/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,591,744,570,141.
As of 8/2/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,586,218,503,807.
"The problem of an atomic war must not be confused by minor problems such as Communism versus capitalism. An atomic war would kill everyone, left, right, or center." --Linus Pauling
..........Deep red are the sunsets in mystical places..........Jethro Tull …..The Whistler
The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn. --Agatha Christie / You look as happy as an ant at a church picnic.
Famous Last Words: Smile! You're on Candid Camera
May Peace make you smile
And Joy make you laugh out loud
prairie mama
christine


Last Laugh


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