Famous
First Words: In the name of Allah... The Quran
And
a big happy birthday to the vacuum cleaner ! My neighbor asked if she
could use my vacuum cleaner. I said, “sure, as long as you don't
take it out of my house.”
..........Just
a doll in dungarees...........James Darren …..Gidget
Give
us a peace equal to the war
Or else our souls will be unsatisfied,
And we will wonder what we have fought for
And why the many died. --Langston Hughes
Or else our souls will be unsatisfied,
And we will wonder what we have fought for
And why the many died. --Langston Hughes
It
is a fine (70°) Friday morning. The sky is celebrating its
diversity by displaying bare blue sky, wispy little puffs, big
mounting billows, and thin jet trails. The air is alive with birds
and bird song – chittering, cheeping, call and respond and for the
rhythm section, the sounds of civilization in the distance and
sometimes driving down the street in front of me. The three dogs are
milling about without apparent purpose. There is no breeze; tree
leaves are barely trembling. There is no wind to mix the scent of
honeysuckle or tea rose with the general floral flavor of the world.
There is no gust to hurry the clouds. Such a peaceful feel to the
day. A jogger runs by, waves, and is warned by Puck and Cy not to
come any closer. I linger a while longer breathing the cool air and
enjoying the calm before we return inside. Even now sitting here
sipping my tart decaf, even now thinking about you, even now I would
like to weave that serenity around us all.
Hope
your weekend cleans up, ePistliers.
There
is no cup holder on this vacuum cleaner. How can I be expected to
work under these conditions? / Spot, who saved his person from the
vacuum cleaner hundreds of times but was still yelled at, earned a
special noiseless level of dog-heaven.
..........He
wore black and I wore white.........Nancy Sinatra …..Bang Bang
Trivia
Questions: On this weekend of the National Asparagus
Festival how much do we actually know about this food.
^
To what family does the asparagus plant belong?
^^
Any idea how to tell “girl” from “boy” asparagus?
^^^
What exactly are those little scales at the tip of a spear?
^^^^
Which state produces the most asparagus?
^^^^^
Which country grows the most asparagus?
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You
cannot make everybody happy; you are not cake.
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
The
keeper of the label maker is the 3rd most powerful person in every
library.
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Corollary: The
label maker, laminator, and “good” book cart are the library
equivalent of the deathly hallows.
--Tyler Hahn
When
you clean a vacuum cleaner do you become a vacuum cleaner? / Why did
the witch fly on a broom? Because she couldn't fit a banana seat on
her vacuum cleaner.
..........Buddy,
you don't got to hurry, take your time..........Van Halen …..Could
This Be Magic?
Moonbeam:
Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail
you. --Frank Lloyd Wright
Second
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My
mind is like my internet browser: 19 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen,
& I have no idea where the music is coming from.
Something
to Think About of the Week:
Big
Hello: Bures –
Northern Sámi (Scandinavia)
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Week
of the Week: Pet Appreciation Week (June
3-9) – What's invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts / My
pet cheetah only eats fast food. / It only takes one sheep to make a
sweater; the trick is teaching her to knit.
I've
decided to sell my Dyson' it's just collecting dust. / Why did the
witches fly on a broom because the cord on her vacuum cleaner only
allowed her to hover outside the window.
..........Well
I'll do anything in this godalmighty world..........Boz Scaggs
…..Baby Let Me Follow You Down
^
Asparagus
(Asparagus
officinalis)
is a member of the Lily family and is related to onions and garlic.
Almanac:
It is Friday, June 8, 2018. The moon was last quarter on Wednesday
and is in Aries. The UN has declared this World
Oceans Day (A/RES/63/111). It is Banana Split Days, Ghostbusters
Day, National Caribbean American HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, Poultry
Days, and Upsy Daisy Day. In Swaziland and Botswana it is
Commonwealth Day. It is also the weekend of the National Asparagas
Festival (7-9).
Among
those born on this day were Giovanni Cassini (1625), Frank Lloyd
Wright (1867), Robert Preston (1918), Alexis Smith (1921), George
Kirby (1924), Jerry Stiller (1929), Dana Wynter (1930), Joan Rivers
(1933), James Darren (1936), Nancy Sinatra (1940), Boz Scaggs (1944),
Alex Van Halen (1950), and Keenen Ivory Wayans (1958).
On
June eighth Islam was founded (570), the first commercially-made ice
cream was sold (1786), the vacuum cleaner was patented (1869), cable
cars began service in LA (1889), the discovery of element 93 was
announced (neptunium, 1940), The Milton
Berle Show premiered (NBC TV, 1948), DC
outlawed segregated lunch counters (1953), James Earl Ray was
captured (1968), and Mick Taylor replaced Brian Jones in Rolling
Stones (1969).
Night
Sky, 6/8:
Epsilon forms one corner of a roughly equilateral triangle with Vega
and Zeta Lyrae. The triangle is less than 2° on a side, hardly the
width of your thumb at arm's length. Binoculars easily resolve
Epsilon. And a 4-inch telescope at 100× or more should resolve each
of Epsilon's wide components into a tight pair. Zeta Lyrae is also a
double star for binoculars; much tougher, but plainly resolved in any
telescope. Delta Lyrae, below Zeta, is a much wider and easier pair.
Notice its colors.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
The Brass Screw Confederacy 2018 – A Steampunk Hootenanny. (June
8-10, Port Townsend, WA) http://www.brassscrew.org/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
ExCeed Teaching Workshop (June 3-8: NU, Omaha, NE) a
six-day practicum that provides engineering educators with an
opportunity to improve their teaching abilities.
http://www.asce.org/exceed/
This
Week: Saturday, June 9 – Donald
Duck Day & World Gin Day & Missing Mutts Awareness Day
Sunday,
June 10 – Iced Tea Day & Ball Point Pen Day & Race
Unity Sunday
Night
Sky, 6/10: For much of the spring at
mid-northern latitudes, the Milky Way lies right down out of sight
all around the horizon. But watch the east now. The rich
Cepheus-Cygnus-Aquila stretch of the Milky Way is rising up all
across the east late these nights, earlier and higher every week.
Monday,
June 11 – National Making Life Beautiful Day
Tuesday,
June 12 – Loving Day & World Day Against Child Labor
Night
Sky, 6/12: Bright yellow Arcturus shines high
overhead toward the south these evenings. The kite shape of Bootes,
its constellation, extends upper left from Arcturus. The kite is
narrow, slightly bent, and 23° long: about two fists at arm's
length. Just east of the Bootes kite is Corona Borealis, the pretty
but mostly dim Northern Crown.
Wednesday,
June 13 – Random Acts of Light Day & Roller Coaster Day
Thursday,
June 14 – Flag Day & International Bath Day &
National Bourbon Day
..........If
my smile gets hidden behind last night's headlines..........Boz
Scaggs …..I Will Forever Sing
^^
Female
asparagus stalks are plumper than male stalks. It is the greener (or
whiter) asparagus that are more tender, not the thin ones.
Next
Funniest thing I Read of the Week: Before we work on
Artificial Intelligence...why don't we do something about Natural
Stupidity?
Moonbeam:
There is nothing more uncommon than common sense. --Frank Lloyd
Wright
Classic
Late Night Snacks: From May 9, 2014 - Simplier
Times ... Scientists have developed a robot that can converse exactly
like a teenager. When the scientists unveiled the robot, it screamed
"I hate you" and slammed the door to its room. --Conan
O'Brien / Hillary Clinton has a new book out on her experiences as
secretary of state. Instead of a book jacket, her book is wearing a
pantsuit. --David Letterman / California Chrome, the prize
thoroughbred, came up short in his bid for racing's Triple Crown. But
don't feel bad for California Chrome. Remember, he's still got two
more crowns than Prince Charles. --Craig Ferguson / Actress Audra
McDonald broke Angela Lansbury’s record last night when she won her
sixth Tony Award. She’s got more Tonys than a beach in New Jersey.
--Jimmy Fallon / On Friday the CIA launched its official Twitter
account. Which means that you could receive this terrifying email:
“The CIA is now following you.” --Seth Meyers
Classic
Not So Late Night Snacks: From May 7, 2014 - A
study that came out this week showed that female hurricanes do more
damage because people do not take female-named hurricanes as
seriously as they do male named hurricanes. You know, 'cause we think
of lady hurricanes as dainty things just sitting around, putting on
makeup, reading Cosmo's 35 ways to obliterate your man this weekend.
--Peter Sagal Wait
Wait Don't Tell Me
Give
us a peace of accepting every challenge —
The challenge of the poor, the black, of all denied,
The challenge of the vast colonial world
That long has had so little justice by its side. --Langston Hughes
The challenge of the poor, the black, of all denied,
The challenge of the vast colonial world
That long has had so little justice by its side. --Langston Hughes
I
put a Jayhawk Basketball sticker on my vacuum but now it doesn't
suck. / The witch flew on a broom because the vacuum cleaner hadn't
been invented yet.
..........Swept
away by a distant voice calling........Boz Scaggs …..Hard Times
^^^
The
small 'scales' at the tip of an asparagus spear are actually the
leaves.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: Neptunium (Np) was
synthesised by Edwin McMillan and Philip H. Abelson, who bombarded
uranium (U) with neutrons to cause nuclear fission. Neptunium is rare
in nature and is only made artificially from spent uranium rods in
nuclear reactors.
Weird
Word of the Week:
Mithridate – an antidote to poison. A recipe for a mithridate in
Nicholas Culpeper's English Physician Enlarged of 1653 begins: “Take
of Myrrh, Saffron, Agarick, Ginger, Cinnamon, Spikenard,
Frankincense, Treacle, Mustard seeds, of each ten drams...”
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-mit1.htm
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm
not crazy, I'm just special...no, wait...maybe I'm crazy...I have to
talk to myself about this, hold on...
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Lure trout. Coat small pieces of sponge with Vaseline Petroleum
Jelly to simulate fish egg bait.
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/vaseline.html
I
like to vacuum because then I can't hear the voices in my head. / His
maid learned right away not to vacuum during a full moon at the
Wolfman's house.
...........Like
Noah said you'd better wake up.........Boz Scaggs …..Some Change
^^^^
California
grows more than 50,000 tons of asparagus each year, which is about
70% of all the asparagus grown in the United States.
Dead
Joke of the Week: Steve Martin told this story about his
mother. She had Alzheimer's. He was visiting one day and she asked,
“Are you Glen?”. Glen was Steve's father. “No, Mom,” he
said, “Glen has been dead for three years.” She said, “that
explains a lot.”
Science
on the Internet of the Week:
From the Hubble Space
Telescope site...The curious case of the calcium-rich supernovae.
https://www.spacetelescope.org/images/potw1813a/
If you click on it to make it bigger, everything in the picture
looks like diamonds in the sky.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K – Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge.
Puck
the Brave
Episode of the Week:
Here's our brave and true Cooper standing at attention and standing
in for Puck (who is doing undercover work for Mueller) in the case of
the Military Mudi.
I'm
not sure if the neighbors are vacuuming or listening to heavy metal.
/ The Buddhist owned a Hoover with no attachments.
..........I
live my life like there's no tomorrow.........Van Halen …..Running
With The Devil
^^^^^
China grows the most asparagus (15.33 billion lbs in 2010). The US
came in 5th at 80 million lbs.
Month
of the Week: June is National Oceans
Month – The big winner at Ocean Oscars this year was License
to Krill. / Shellfish borrow money
from the prawn broker. / What does a mermaid wear to math class? An
algae-bra
Most
Beautiful Thing in the Northern Mariana Islands:
Pau Pau Beach on the island of Saipan in the northern Marianas. The
North side of the beach has large lava rocks which surround many more
small isolated beaches. A recent archaeological dig on the South side
of the beach uncovered artifacts and human bones from the ancient
chamorro pre-latte times, perhaps 1,500 years old.
http://saipanpictures.blogspot.com/2008/07/pau-pau-beach.html
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A guy
in the store on his cell said, “Susan, I'm in my car on my way”
so I yelled “NO, HE”S NOT!” Because nobody lies to Susan in
front of me..
Today's
Peace of History, June
8, 1966: 270
walked out of graduation ceremonies at New York University (NYU) to
protest the presentation of an honorary degree to Robert McNamara,
then the Secretary of Defense and responsible for US forces waging
war in Vietnam.
Know
the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a viola? You have to
plug in a vacuum to get it to suck. / A dog's worst nightmare the
cat with a vacuum.
..........You
keep samin' when you oughta be a'changin'.........Nancy Sinatra
…..These Boots Are Made for Walking
Masthead
of the Week:
fRiday ePistle June 8, 2018, Sucky ePistle. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Laugh, Love, Clean. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell
Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam:
The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. – Frank Lloyd
Wright
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'd
much rather be gay than be so desperately afraid of God that I
couldn't make a cake for a fellow human being. --Submitted by ar of
ks
Cost
of War:
As
of 6/7/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,827,387,570,822.
As
of 5/31/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,825,413,314,057.
As
of 6/7/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $830,836,301,188.
As
of 5/31/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $829,494,559,620.
As
of 6/7/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $594,137,150,208.
As
of 5/31/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $592,450,375,651.
As
of 6/7/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $290,667,553,120.
As
of 5/31/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $290,284,201,264.
As
of 6/7/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,543,029,404,125.
As
of 5/31/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,537,643,376,679.
Give
us a peace that dares us to be wise.
Give us a peace that dares us to be strong.
Give us a peace that dares us still uphold
Throughout the peace our battle against wrong. --Langston Hughes Give Us Our Peace
Give us a peace that dares us to be strong.
Give us a peace that dares us still uphold
Throughout the peace our battle against wrong. --Langston Hughes Give Us Our Peace
..........They
say there's seven wonders in the world.........James Darren …..Venus
in Blue Jeans
I
removed the electric cord from my vacuum cleaner and installed an mp3
player instead. Now I just play Nickleback and it sucks better than
ever. / I'd tell you a few vacuum cleaner jokes, but they all suck.
Famous
Last Words: I Fought in Korea but Can't Eat Here! --Sign from
the D.C. Desegregation Struggle, 1958.
May
Peace bathe your Bathypelagic Trench
And
Joy soak your Epipelagic Trench
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
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