Friday, June 1, 2018

Creme Filled ePistle


Famous First Words: Be it ordained by the United States... The Northwest Ordinance
Happy Doughnut Day aka Donut Day !! A doughnut is a small fried cake of sweetened dough used to lure people into attending unnecessary meetings.
..........You got to never, never, never stop.........Rolling Stones …..Start Me Up
Peace is the only battle worth waging. --Albert Camus
It is yet another beautiful Friday morning. The 69°F temperature is neither cold nor hot. There is no breeze to glaze the cheek so not a single leaf is moving, high or low. But there is birdsong by the choirful also ranging from high to low in altitude as well as pitch. After a short warning to a jogger over at the intersection, the dogs too are quiet, perhaps they are also enjoying the bird band singing early Lauds. The sky is absolutely blue and absolutely free of cloud, plane, or jet trail; only the pale, nearly full moon can be seen. It seems to be enjoying the avian symphony which is wonderfully free of car grinding and air condition buzzing. Puck sits at alert watching lest another jogger run by, but Coop and Cy have gotten bored and wandered off to other morning tasks. The world is so very green from the tallest branch in the little wood across the street to the mowed grass with bits of white cottonwood puffs sitting on it like fluffy hail stones; without wind no cotton is airborne. I can almost smell honeysuckle or some other familiar floral scent. The only flower blooming nearby is the pink tea rose by the house. As I walk near it I pick up that scent; it is not the same as the unseen honeysuckle I, apparently, imagine. I linger at the fence breathing deep the cool morning air and appreciating the manicured beauty abutting rather wild little wood. But I have not yet had coffee and so we retreat, Puck and I, to our rooms and the sweetened, creamed goodness of decaf and thoughts of you.
Hope your weekend is totally dunkable, ePistliers.
Do nut worry, be happy. / Man does not live by coffee alone...have a doughnut!
..........A smile relieves a heart that grieves.........Rolling Stones …..Waiting On a Friend
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to Scotch Whiskey ! A drink made only in Scotland, but enjoyed around the world
^ What was it called before it was called Scotch Whiskey?
^^ What properties did the early distillations have in common with moonshine?
^^^ How much of a favorite is Scotch Whiskey – as whiskeys go?
^^^^ About when did grains start being used in Scotch?
^^^^^ What aging equipment is required for a whiskey to be called Scotch?
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What doesn't kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanism and a dark sense of humor. --Submitted by sd of ks
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: At any given moment 15% of librarians are covered in glitter of unknown origin. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Do doughnuts ever feel empty inside? / I sent one of the donuts out to be analyzed. The yellow sprinkles are No-Doze, the pink ones are Prozac, and the blues are breath mints.
..........I'm not too blind to see.........Rolling Stones …..Beast of Burden
Moonbeam: Love the giver more than the gift. --Brigham Young
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Everything tastes better with cat hair in it. --Submitted by jb of ks
Something to Think About of the Week

Big Hello: Caлam – Nogai (Russia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Week of the Week: Milk Days (May 1 – 3) No that cow never lactated, we called her milk dud. / The invisible man drinks evaporated milk.
If can't is short for cannot, is don't short for doughnut? / I asked the barista at Dunkin' Donuts for half dozen nutella donuts. He asked if I had any nut allergies. I told him I did and I was planning suicide by donut.
..........Every star's a wishing star that shines for you.........Pat Boone …..April Love
^ An entry lists 'Eight bolls of malt to Friar John Cor wherewith to make aqua vitae' (water of life). This was sufficient to produce almost 1,500 bottles, suggesting that distilling was already well-established. --Exchequer Rolls, 1494.
Almanac: It is Friday, June 1, 2018. The moon was full (Strawberry) last Wednesday and is in Capricorn. The UN has declared this Global Day of Parents. It is also Doughnut Day aka Donut Day, Heimlich Maneuver Day, Leave The Office Early Day, National Dare Day, and National Nailpolish Day. In China & Mongolia it is Children's Festival Day. Kenya celebrates Madaraka Day, a day to enjoy freedom. In Philadelphia it is Elfreth's Alley Day which celebrates oldest US street. Samoa commemorates Independence Day, in Thailand it is Visakha Puja, and Tunisia celebrates Victory Day aka Constitution Day (1959). Finally, because it is the first Friday it is Hug Your Cat Day and because it is the first Weekend it is also Horseradish Days.
Among those born on this day were Brigham Young (1801), John Masefield (1878), Nelson Riddle (1921), Andy Griffith and Marilyn Monroe (1926), Pat Boone (1934), Rev Ike (1935), Cleavon Little (1939), Ren Auberjonois (1940), Ron Wood (1947), and Alan Wilder (1959).
On June first Scotch Whiskey first appeared in official records (1494), Kentucky was admitted as the 15th state (1792), Tennessee was admitted as the 16th state (1796), Ohio University in Athens became the first US land grant university (1808), a voting machine was patented by Thomas Edison (1869), Superman Comics was launched (1938), Germany banned all Catholic publications (1941), the first magazine on microfilm was offered (Newsweek, 1949), Charles de Gaulle became premier of France (1958), George Harrison met Ravi Shankar (1966), Canada banned tobacco advertising on radio and tv (1969), the final Ed Sullivan show aired (1971), Ron Wood replaced Mick Taylor as Rolling Stones guitarist (1975).
Night Sky, 6/1: Just a week and a half ago, the Big Dipper was floating horizontally in late twilight an hour after sunset (as seen from 40° N latitude). Now it's angled diagonally at that time. Another week and a half and it will be hanging straight down by its handle! http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Extremicon 2018 (June 1-3, St. Robert, MO) –Featuring the Tiger Extreme Force Karate Club https://extremicon.com/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: Cell Polarity Signaling (June 2-3, West Dover VT) ...exploring a wide range of in silico, in vitro and in vivo models... https://www.grc.org/cell-polarity-signaling-grs-conference/2018/
This Week: Saturday, June 2 – Drawing Day aka Pencil Day & National Prairie Day & Wicket World of Croquet Day
Night Sky, 6/2: "Cassiopeia" usually means "Cold!" Late fall and winter are when this landmark constellation stands high overhead (seen from mid-northern latitudes). But even on hot June evenings, it still lurks low
Sunday, June 3 – National Cancer Survivors Day & Wonder Woman Day
Monday, June 4 – Audacity to Hope Day & National SAFE Day
Tuesday, June 5 – National Veggie Burgers Day & World Environment Day
Night Sky, 6/5: Vega is the brightest star in the east-northeast after dark. The other main stars of its constellation, Lyra, currently dangle down from it.
Wednesday, June 6 – Atheists Pride Day & Drive-In Movie Day & Russian Language Day
Night Sky, 6/6: Shining in the east-northeast after dark is Vega, the brightest and currently highest star of the Summer Triangle. But with summer still three weeks away, the Triangle's final star doesn't rise above the eastern horizon until about 10 pm.
Thursday, June 7 – Boone Day & VCR Day
...and the Donut just stood there with a glazed expression. / Remember, donuts are much healthier than crystal meth.
..........Scattered to the highest high..........Depeche Mode …..Two Minute Warning
^^ The primitive equipment used and the lack of scientific expertise means the spirit produced in those days was probably potent, and occasionally even harmful.
Moonbeam: Coming in solemn beauty like slow old tunes of Spain. --John Masefield
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Racism is so American that when we protest Racism the average American assumes we are protesting America. --Submitted by sd of ks
Late Night Snacks: I mean, Sean Hannity is Donald Trump's emergency contact number in case he ever chokes on a ham bone or anything like that. --Jimmy Kimmel / The Human Rights Campaign this weekend projected messages on the Department of Education headquarters asking Secretary Betsy DeVos how she sleeps at night. Said DeVos, “Same as everyone! Hold my breath till I pass out!” --Seth Meyers / Today President Trump announced that he is calling off his meeting with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. After he broke it off, Trump told him that he could have custody of Don Jr. --Jimmy Fallon / A new article revealed that members of the US Air Force in Wyoming took LSD and had acid trips while they were assigned to guard nuclear missiles. It's nice to know that if Donald Drumpf ever does try to start a war, the guys responsible for the missiles won't be able to push the buttons because they'll be too busy swatting away purple dragons. --James Corden / Former Trump aides say the president thrives on a sense of dominance and control of his environment, so much so that he has a longtime fear of having his food contaminated. Yes, for good reason. Once he was eating what he thought was a safe meal, and he found a vegetable in there. --Stephen Colbert / A man was arrested for urinating on a seat during a Frontier Airlines flight. It’s the first time anyone has ever associated Frontier Airlines with number one. --Conan O'Brien
Not So Late Night Snacks: Helen Hong: Starbucks is open for business, guys - your business. Adam Felber: Look, I'm a parent. I go around with kids who need to use the bathroom all the time. And I can tell you that this is an existing policy. I have frequently gone into Starbucks to use the bathroom without buying anything. All you have to be is polite and white. Hari Kondabolu: Do you know when I knew that Starbucks was racist? It's when they introduced that blonde roast. ... originally, apparently, they wanted to call it the master roast, but... Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 5/26/18
We know how to organize warfare, but do we know how to act when confronted with peace. --Jacques-Yves Cousteau

..........This place seems so familiar..........Depeche Mode …..Fools
^^^ Scotch Whisky out sells its nearest rival by three times.
Worthless Fact of the Week: Edison's first patented invention was a vote recorder for use by legislative bodies such as Congress. Unimpressed with the speed with which the instrument could record votes, the Congressional committee in charge of these things told him that "if there is any invention on earth that we don't want down here, that is it."
Weird Word of the Week: Liripipe – a dangling extension to a medieval hood. Nobody seems to know much about the origin of this word, except that it comes from medieval Latin liripipium, variously explained down the centuries as the tippet of a hood, a cord, a shoe-lace and the inner sole-leather of shoes. This suggests strongly that nobody has the slightest idea what it really meant. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-lir1.htm
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I think the players should come onto the field and as the anthem starts, fall to their knees, grab a foot, and yell “bone spurs”. --Sumbitted by ma of wv
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Deodorize garbage disposers. Sprinkle two to three tablespoons 20 Mule Tema Borax in the drain, let it stand for fifteen minutes, then flush with water with the disposer on. Borax helps deodorize garbage disposers by neutralizing acidic odors. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/20muleteam.html
Doughnuts: Helping firefighters cope with feeling inferior to cops since 1937. / The depressed doughnut kept crying, “I”m just tired of the hole thing”.
...........We passed the time away.........Pat Boone …..Love Letters in the Sand
^^^^ In 1831 Aeneas Coffey invented the Coffey or Patent Still which enabled a continuous process of distillation to take place. This led to the production of Grain Whisky, a different, less intense spirit than Malt Whisky. The lighter flavoured Grain Whisky, when blended with the more fiery malts, extended the appeal of Scotch Whisky to a considerably wider market.
Science on the Internet of the Week: Klutz-Proof Density Column – Gravity doesn't care if you trip. Layered liquids that always return to their original layers. https://www.exploratorium.edu/snacks/klutz-proof-density-column
Lost Count... Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In Roseanne's defense, it's hard to know the difference between racism that gets you fired versus racism that gets you elected president of the United States –Brain Sproul --Submitted by ma of wv.
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck breaking in a new pair of Jackapoo shades (he can see us, but we can't see his eyes) in the case of the Sheltered Sheltie.
I knew he must be a doughnut because he was so a-dough-rable. / Beware: Medicare does not consider doughnut withdrawal as a real medical condition and will not issue you sugar patches.
..........Love comes at the speed of light.........Rolling Stones …..Continental drift
^^^^^ To be Scotch Whisky, the spirit must mature in oak casks in Scotland for at least 3 years. Only 126 distilleries are licensed to produce Scotch Whisky.
Month of the Week: June is Adopt-A-Cat Month – Cat-titude is not just “attitude” with “cat” spliced in. No, no. It is a whole separate idea. Someone with cat-titude might try to act unimpressed with your attempts to pamper them. They may swat at you whenever you try to hand them things, scratch the door whenever they want to go outside, or suddenly sit on your laptop while you’re using it, without explanation.
Most Beautiful Thing Guam: Neither the reviewer nor I could decide between Guam's 9 beautiful beaches … rugged, secluded, breathtaking. http://etn.travel/9-breathtaking-beaches-guam-16969/
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Ask your doctor if blaming Ambien for your racism is right for you. --Submitted by sd of ks
Today's Peace of History, June 1, 1845: Sojourner Truth (born Isabella Baumfree, but went by the name she believed God had given her as a symbolic representation of her mission in life) set out from New York City on a journey across America, preaching about the evils of slavery and promoting women's rights. She had been a slave with several owners but was legally free when slavery was abolished in New York state.
Donuts: The center is gluten, fat, dairy, and carb free. / I found my 4 year old in the backyard planting Cheerios to grow doughnut trees.
..........Sure can't faze me none.........Rolling Stones …..Crazy Mama
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle June 1, 2018, Creme Filled ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Cruller ePistle. Peace, Humor, and a Sugar High. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: There was just something about me she did not like. --Andy Griffith
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When you're running late for work stop and get donuts cuz being on time doesn't matter when they have donuts.
Cost of War:
As of 5/31/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,825,413,314,057.
As of 5/24/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,823,472,515,983.
As of 5/31/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $829,494,559,620.
As of 5/24/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $828,175,427,081.
As of 5/31/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $592,450,375,651.
As of 5/24/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $590,791,866,305.
As of 5/31/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $290,284,201,264.
As of 5/24/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $289,907,206,361.
As of 5/31/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,537,643,376,679.
As of 5/24/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,532,346,472,406.
Peace is every step. --Thich Nhat Hanh
..........Get back, get back to the one you love.........Rolling Stones …..Goodbye Girl
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels … except donuts. Donuts taste like skinny can go hang itself.
Famous Last Words: ain't got nothing more to say. --Sojourner Truth Ain't I A Woman speech
May Peace glaze your life
And Joy fill your center
prairie mama
christine


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