Friday, June 15, 2018

Ascetic ePistle


Famous First Words: BE IT ENACED by the Senate … Indian Citizenship Act, 1924
Welcome to National Hermit Week (June 13-20): This world is so full of hypocrisy, the only way you can be honest is to be a hermit. --Pete Seeger / Hermits have no peer pressure. --Steven Wright
..........You're always shining brighter than a star.........Waylon Jennings …..Good Morning, John
Give us a peace that is not cheaply used,
A peace that is no clever scheme,
A people's peace for which men can enthuse,
A peace that brings reality to our dream. --Langston Hughes
It is a warm (76°F) Friday morning. The sky is asmear with humidity that can't be seen looking straight at it but gathers in dreamy mounds on the horizons. It makes the sky look white instead of blue. A light breeze blows around the leaves of trees and bushes so that the world resembles an early cartoon of dancing foliage repeated in a loop. The wind kisses the cheek and gifts the nose with a faint floral of unknown source. Birdsong is varied and surrounds the yard – the inverse of theater in the round … here close, the never-ending cheeping of baby birds in the upper birdhouse … to the south hoots of a mourning dove surveying the little wood across the street from the crest of our roof … the east has a quarrel of sparrows some in the nearby redbud tree others further back … and to the north the skree sound of a fast flying passer-by … ever moving, ever varied. This is the universe's cover of Matins Prayers. It is apparent that there is humidity in the air and it holds a Kansas summer a sultry afternoon; but for now it is quiet wonderful. Still, coffee calls me and I do want to get this morning on its way, so I return to the cool, dry indoors and my artificially sweetened but really creamed cup of decaf – Mmm mMM – and you.
Ah, ePistliers, I hope your weekend parties hardy.
If I wasn't in the theater, I would be a hermit. --Richard Foreman / Despite being a hermit crab, Alan enjoyed staying connected by posting the occasional “shellfie”.
..........I guess that 's just the way the story goes.........Harry Nilsson …..Without You
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Magna Carta – one of the earliest declaration of the the rights of rich, white guys.
^ Which king was forced to sign the Magna Carta?
^^ What was the rank of the men doing the forcing?
^^^ In what language was the original document written?
^^^^ And for the 2 or 3 Lawyer ePistliers, what monument did the American Bar Association build to celebrate the Magna Carta?
^^^^^ Would you like to guess the dollar value of the actual document?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger and asked, “Thanks, but why would you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?” I told him the chances of two serials killers being in one car would be astronomical. --David McElroy
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 32% of library break room conversations are about everyone's kitty litter preferences. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
When the devil grows old he turns hermit. --Ludovico Ariosto / Birds gotta fly, hermits gotta herm.
..........to warm the frozen feelin' that was eatin' at my soul.........Waylon Jennings …..To Beat The Devil
Moonbeam: Stupidity trumps Machiavelli almost every time when you are looking for an explanation. --Robert Russell Bennett
Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: Dumȇlang – Northern Sotho (South Africa) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: So...we're in a feud...with CANADA... Am I the only one kinda hoping they conquer us and bring maple syrup and healthcare? --Kimberly Janise ---Submitted by ra of ks
Week of the Week: National Flag Week (June 10 - 16) How is the flag like Santa Claus? They both hang out at the pole. / If you crossed the stars and stripes with a cookie it would be a flag newton.
If you want to talk to me on the phone, I need at least three days notice. / Ain't no party like a hermit crab party cause a hermit crab party is just me alone forever.
..........Sing a song of long ago when thing were green and movin' slow.........Harry Nilsson …..Dayton , Ohio 1903
^ The ancestry of every US president (except Martin Van Buren) has been traced back to King John of England, meaning they're all distantly related to the King who was forced to sign the Magna Carta (and to each other). But will we ever know who President Van Buren is related to? ~~I think this page was written about 2000, but I'm not sure. Here's the source: https://www.shmoop.com/historical-texts/magna-carta/trivia.html
Almanac: It is Friday, June 15, 2018. The moon was new yesterday and is in Cancer. The UN has declared this World Elder Abuse Awareness Day (A/RES/66/127). In addition it is Eid-Al-Fitr, Global Wind Day, Magna Carta Day, Native American Citizenship Day, Nature Photography Day, National Day of Prayer for Law Enforcement Officers, Prune Day, World Elder Abuse Awareness Day, and Worldwide Day of Giving. In Denmark it is Flag Day aka Valdemar Day (1219). While in Idaho it is Pioneer Day (1910), in Korea it is Farmer's Day (a day to transplant rice seeds) and in Oregon it is Treaty Day (1846). Finally, because it is the third Friday, it is National Flip Flop Day – the shoes not the political maneuver.
Among those born on this day were Edvard Grieg (1843), Robert Russell Bennett (1894), Max Rudolf (1902), Morris Udall (1922), Mario Cuomo (1932), Waylon Jennings (1937), Harry Nilsson (1941), Xaviera Hollander (1942), Jim Varney (1946), Jim Belushi (1954), Helen Hunt (1963), Courtney Cox (1964), and Neil Patrick Harris (1973).
On June Fifteenth the Magna Carta was signed (1215), New Jersey was established (1664), Washington was appointed commander of the army (1775), the 12th amendment to the US constitution was ratified (1804), Arkansas became the 25th state (1836), Goodyear patented the vulcanization of rubber (1844), Robert E Lee's home in Arlington, Va became a military cemetery (1864), Henry O Flipper became the first black to graduate from West Point (1877), the 2nd Hague Peace Conference opened (1907), the 10 millionth automobile rolled off the Ford Motor Company line (1924), native Americans were granted US citizenship (1924), John Lennon met Paul McCartney (1956), Hee Haw premiered (1969), American Graffiti opened (1973), Spain held its first free elections since 1936 (1977), and Queen Elizabeth knighted Ronald Reagan (1989).
Night Sky, 6/15: Look west after sunset to see the brightest planet, Venus, making a line with the Gemini stars, Castor & Pollux , on our sky’s dome. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Fur-eh 2018 – Viva Paws Vegas (June 14-18, Edmonton, AB). A Fursuiters Convention. http://www.fureh.ca/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: 2018 International Conference on Air Pollution and Water Treatment (June 15-17, Shanghai, China) ...to foster communication among researchers... https://www.nature.com/natureevents/science/events/66685-2018_International_Conference_on_Air_Pollution_and_Water_Treatment_APWT_2018
This Week: Saturday, June 16 – Bloomsday & World Juggling Day
Night Sky, 6/16: Uranus is barely emerging from the glow of dawn. Neptune is up in the east before the beginning of dawn.
Sunday, June 17 – Eat Your Vegetables Day & National Garbage Man Day & World Tessellation Day
Monday, June 18 – Autistic Pride Day & Clark Kent's Birthday & Ride to Work on a Motorcycle Day
Night Sky, 6/18: Mars rises around midnight lower left of Saturn.
Tuesday, June 19 – Juenteenth & Garfield the Cat Day & International Day for the Elimination of Sexual Violence in Conflict
Wednesday, June 20 – American Eagle Day & World Refugee Day
Night Sky, 6/20: Mercury is pretty well hidden in the sunset. Jupiter shines in the south-southeast as twilight fades.
Thursday, June 21 – Atheists Solidarity Day & Dump the Pump Day & International Day of Yoga
There is never enough time to do all the nothing you want. --Calvin & Hobbes / I'm developing a new anti-social media.
..........Now they say Hank Jr. has strayed away.........Waylon Jennings …..Leave Them Boys Alone
^^ If you can prove that you descended from one of the twenty-five barons elected to serve under the Magna Carta's security clause, then you can join the National Society of Magna Charta Dames and Barons, which you can rub in the face of all the decedents of the loyal barons who don't have a special club.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How many people work at your plant? About half of them.
Moonbeam: The more we exploit nature, the more our options are reduced, until we have only one: to fight for survival. --Morris Udall
Late Night Snacks: The Tony Awards was last night — or as I call it, the Super Bowl — and it was absolutely wonderful. The moment everyone was buzzing about was when Robert De Niro had to be censored for saying on stage "f*** Drumpf." And today, angry Drumpf supporters everywhere are pretending that they actually watch the Tony Awards. --James Corden / President Drumpf told reporters he'll know if the Kim Jong Un meeting is going well by "touch" and "feel." In other words, Drumpf's lawyer is going to have to pay Kim Jong Un $130,000. --Conan O'Brien / There’s a lot riding on this meeting. Last night, Kim spent hours preparing, while at the same time Drumpf was in bed waiting for SpongeBob to perform at the Tonys. --Jimmy Fallon / President Drumpf and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un met tonight in Singapore after we taped our show. So if you're watching this on TV right now, either it went well, or you have a TV in your fallout shelter. --Seth Meyers / After a brief one-on-one meeting, the two leaders got down to the most important item on the agenda: lunch! Including, ‘Korean stuffed cucumber.’ Well, there’s your headline: ‘DRUMPF ATE A VEGETABLE.’ Wow! They said it couldn’t be done! They scoffed! By the way, Korean stuffed cucumber is stuffed with Koreans. Kim is a monster. --Stephen Colbert
Not So Late Night Snacks: Peter Sagal: Here we go. Peter, true or false? Scott Pruitt spent $1,500 of government funds to get fountain pens engraved with his signature. Peter Grosz: I'm going to say true. Sagal: It is true. It is not true, however, that the ink is the blood of endangered animals. --Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
Give us a peace that will produce great schools --
As the war produced great armament,
A peace that will wipe out our slums --
As war wiped out our foes on evil bent. --Langston Hughes
I'm a Social Vegan – I avoid meet. / I deleted my facebook account, signed off all social media, left the US, lived in a cave in the Himalayas for 3 years. Then one day a pigeon came with a note that turned out to be a Candy Crush Request.
..........warm and tender.........Harry Nilsson …..Sweet Surrender
^^^ The Magna Carta was originally written in Latin (the language of the Church) and then translated into French (the language of the nobility). So the most important document in English history wasn't translated into English for about three hundred years.
Worthless Fact of the Week: The Twelfth Amendment (Election of President and Vice President~) cannot be understood outside of the Electoral College, which was set out in the 1787 Constitution as the mechanism by which Americans select their presidents. ~Passed 12/9/1803, ratified 6/15/1804.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I keep trying to make protein shakes but they keep coming out as margaritas. --Submitted by mja of ks
Weird Word of the Week: Nosopoetic – causing disease (nosos – disease + poietikos – creative or productive) supplanted by pathogenic. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-nos2.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent car battery corrosion. Smear Vaseline Petroleum Jelly on clean car battery terminals. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/vaseline.html
I don't have a welcome mat at my door because I'm not a liar. / Hermit: a person whose vices and follies are not sociable. --Ambrose Bierce
...........I'm gotta quit this drinkin'. It's been messin' up my head.........Waylon Jennings …..One Of My Bad Habits
^^^^ In 1957 the American Bar Association (that's an important group of lawyers) built the Magna Carta Monument at Runnymede, although it's probably not in the exact location where the signing/stamping took place. But, when it really is just a swampy patch next to a river, does it matter where the monument is?
Dead Joke of the Week: I was feeling quite good about the doctor saying my complaints were normal for my age until I realized that at some age “normal” is dead.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: on HGTV they can flip a house in a month and I've been “getting ready to dust” for the past two weeks.
Rant of the Week: Has anyone considered that war with Canada may be the 21st century of The Mouse That Roared. We lose to Canada, we get healthcare and infrastructure rebuild and a new government that knows how to pay for them.
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck watching Tom fix the deck in the case of the Hammering Harrier.
Yeah, so what if I'd rather read than go to a bar? Deal with it. / What lives in the ocean, is grouchy, and hates neighbors? A hermit crab / Last year I joined a support group for anti-social people. We haven't met yet.
..........Only the echoes of my mind.........Harry Nilsson …..Everybody's Talkin'
^^^^^ A privately owned copy of the Magna Carta was sold at auction in 2007 for $21.3 million, the most ever paid for a single page of writing. And it wasn't even an original copy; it was from 1297
Month of the Week: June is Candy Month – If you dip a kitten into carefully tempered chocolate you get a kitty cat bar / An upside-down kernel of candy corn looks exactly like Donald Trump.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: School Sign: Dear Parents, Tag, You're it! Love, Teachers
Most Beautiful Thing in US Virgin Islands: National Marine Sanctuary of American Samoa - The National Marine Sanctuary of American Samoa is located in the cradle of Polynesia’s oldest culture and is thought to support the greatest diversity of marine life in the National Marine Sanctuary System, including a wide variety of coral and other invertebrates, fishes, turtles, marine mammals and marine plants. https://americansamoa.noaa.gov/
Today's Peaces of History, June 15: (1942) The Congress of Racial Equality (CORE) was founded in Chicago by a group of students including James Farmer and Bayard Rustin and (1970) the US Supreme Court ruled in US v. Sisson that conscientious objectors, those who refuse military service or to bear arms for moral or religious reasons, need not base their beliefs on the tenets of an organized religion.
Today's Peaces of Women's History, June 15: (1871) Phoebe Couzins became the first woman to graduate from a US collegiate law school and (1877) Sara Spencer became the first woman to address a US presidential convention.
Hermits United. We meet up every ten years and swap stories about caves. It's good fund...for a hermit. --David Tennent / I know I've been a dreadful friend lately, but I have been an awesome hermit.
..........And when I awoke, I was alone.........Waylon Jennings …..Norwegian Wood
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle June 15, 2018, Ascetic ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Peace, Jokes, and Loners. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: In America you can get away with murder, but not with sex. -- Xaviera Hollander
Cost of War:
As of 6/14/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,829,362,609,200.
As of 6/7/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,827,387,570,822.
As of 6/14/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $832,178,550,931.
As of 6/7/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $830,836,301,188.
As of 6/14/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $595,824,571,739.
As of 6/7/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $594,137,150,208.
As of 6/14/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $291,051,058,248.
As of 6/7/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $290,667,553,120.
As of 6/14/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,548,417,643,042.
As of 6/7/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,543,029,404,125.
Give us a peace that will enlist
A mighty army serving human kind,
Not just an army geared to kill,
But trained to help the living mind.
An army trained to shape our common good
And bring about a world of brotherhood. --Langston Hughes Give Us Our Peace
..........I'll leave my things behind for all to see.........Harry Nilsson …..I Said Goodbye To Me
Three hermits move into a cave together and for the first seven years they don’t speak to each other. Then one morning a horse runs by the mouth of the cave. Seven years later the first hermit says, “That was a pretty white horse that ran by.” Seven more years go by and the second hermit says, “That horse wasn’t white, he was black.” Yet another seven years go by and the third hermit starts packing his bags. The other two look at him and he says, “If all you two are going to do is argue, then I’m leaving.”
Famous Last Words: ...to the contracting Powers. --Acta Second Hague Peace Conference
May Peace fill you cave
And Joy fill your heart
prairie mama
christine


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