Friday, September 1, 2017

sAd ePistle

Famous First Words: One ringy, dingy... Ernestine the Operator (Lily Tomlin)
Happy Birthday, Lily !! The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. --Lily Tomlin / If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed. --Lily Tomlin
..........Poor me another cup of coffee.........Conway Twitty …..Truck Drivin' Man
The only alternative to war is peace and the only road to peace is negotiations. --Golda Meir
It is a very sad Friday morning. Last night Pax ran out of the yard while I had to gate open to let Puck in and he ran across the street to terrorize a small woman with a tiny dog. Puck and I came after but because I had no leash, I was unable to walk him back home and he ran out into the street into a car and died. We are all devastated. Goodbye, friend, this ePistle is for you.

 
Hope your weekend gives reality a run for its money, ePistliers.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. --Lily Tomlin / I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining. --Lily Tomlin
..........Straight through Sunday blues.........Gloria Estefan …..Good Morning, Heartache
Trivia Questions: Happy Dolphin Day ! … Actually, it's Int'l Day of Awareness for the Dolphins of Taiji
^ How long do dolphins live – more or less?
^^ How do dolphins sleep?
^^^ Which land mammals are closest to the dolphin?
^^^^ How deep can dolphin swim?
^^^^^ How many kinds of dolphins are there, anyway?
Senior Moment of the Week: The upside of being a septuagenarian, you can now safely drink, smoke, etc since you're too old to die young.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Library books are so dirty that 65% of library staff wash their hands before using the restroom. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
The road to success is always under construction. --Lily Tomlin / For fast acting relief try slowing down. --Lily Tomlin
..........Yet why am I so blind.........Bee Gees …..Holiday
Moonbeam: Whatever you would have your children become, strive to exhibit in your own lives and conversation. --Lydia Sigourney
Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: Bueno diyas – Ladino ~~I have the characters to spell this in the original language but they arranged themselves and I couldn't make them go into the pattern I was seeing. It was weird, to say the least. I even tried putting a couple of spaces between each character, but the computer rearranged them anyway.
Week of the Week: International Enthusiasm Week (September 1-7) --ENTHUSIASM, n. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience. Byron, who recovered long enough to call it "entuzy-muzy," had a relapse, which carried him off—to Missolonghi. --Ambrose Bierce
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. --Lily Tomlin / What goes up must come down. But don't expect it to come down where you can find it. --Lily Tomlin
.......... And all of those beauties in Arkansas.........Conway Twitty …..Southern Comfort
^ The maximum lifespan of bottlenose dolphins is between 40-50 years.
Almanac: It is Friday, September 1, 2017. The moon was first quarter last Wednesday and is in Capricorn. It is Building & Code Staff Appreciation Day, Calendar Adjustment Day, Chicken Boy's Day, Emma M. Nutt Day, International Day of Awareness for the Dolphins of Taiji, National No Rhyme (Nor Reason) Day, Random Acts of Kindness Day or Be Kind Day, and Save Japan's Dolphins Day. In Brunei they celebrate the Revelation of the Koran. In both Lybia and Egypt it is Revolution Day (1969). Mexico commemorates the Presidental Message Day/Opening of congress. In Michigan it is Mackinac Bridge Walk Day and in Puerto Rico it is Labor Day (1894)
Among those born on this day were Lydia Sigourney (1791), Elizabeth Harrison (1849), Engelbert Humperdinck (1854), Roger David Casement (1864), Gentle Jim Corbett (1866), Edgar Rice Burroughs (1875), Walter Reuther (1907), Melvin Laird (1922), Vittorio Gassman (1922), Yvonne De Carlo (1922), Rocky Marciano (1923), Ann Richard (1933), Conway Twitty (1933), George Maharis (1938), Lily Tomlin (1939), Barry Gibb (1946), and Gloria Estefan (1957).
On September first the Mission San Luis Obispo de Tolosa was founded (1772), Aaron Burr was acquitted of charges of plotting to set up an empire (1907), the first pullman sleeper car went into service (1859), solar flares were first observed (1859), Lister performed the first antiseptic surgery (1965), Emma Nutt was hired as the first female telephone operator (1878), St. Petersburg became Petrograd (1914), the Keating-Owen Act banned child labor from interstate commerce (1916), Black holes were first treated in the literature (1939), the UN's World Health Organization formed (1948), Pirate Radio Marina began transmitting (1968), Earth's population hit 3 billion (1962), Qatar gained independence from Britain (1971), Bobby Fischer beat Boris Spassky for the world chess title (1972), the court ordered Clayton Moore to stop wearing his Lone Ranger mask (1979), and Pioneer flew by Saturn (1979).
Night Sky, 9/1: At nightfall, the waxing gibbous Moon is about equally distant from Saturn, well off to its right, and Altair, high to its upper left.
This Week:
Saturday, September 2 – Bacon Day & National Tailgating Day
Night Sky, 9/2: A dawn challenge: As morning twilight brightens use binoculars to look for the triangle of Mars, Regulus, and Mercury very low in the east, far beneath Venus
Sunday, September 3 – Bowling League Day
Night Sky, 9/3: As twilight fades away into night, look far above the Moon for Altair. Much closer above the Moon (more or less), binoculars will show the wide double stars Alpha and Beta Capricorni. Alpha is the yellow-orange pair on top. The Beta pair is more unequal and probably harder to resolve.
Monday, September 4 – Labor Day & Day of the Great Bathtub Race
Tuesday, September 5 – Be Late For Something Day
Wednesday, September 6 – Lighthouse Day (The first lighthouse in north America began operation (Boston, 1716.)
Thursday, September 7 – Neither Snow nor Rain Day & Grandma Moses Day
Wouldn't it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas. --Lily Tomlin / The best mind-altering drug is the truth. --Lily Tomlin
..........Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin'.........Bee Gees …..Stayin' Alive
^^ Dolphins have to be conscious to breath so they can't go into a full, deep sleep (they would suffocate). Dolphins let one half of their brain sleep at a time.
Funniest thing I read of the Week: T-Shirt: The universe is made up of protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: North American Discworld Convention 2017 (New Orleans, September 1-4) For fans of the late Terry Pratchett...this year's theme is all about the witches of Discworld. https://nadwcon2017.org/

Moonbeam: Success is not built on success. It's built on failure. It's built on frustration. Sometimes its built on catastrophe. --Elizabeth Harrison
Fat Laden-ed Late Night Snacks: According to a new poll, only 19% of New Jersey residents approve of their governor, Chris Christie. And they're all restaurant owners. –Conan O'Brien / Governor Chris Christie is in trouble because his staff shut down part of the George Washington Bridge to get back at a political rival. Yesterday, Christie gave a 107-minute press conference to address the scandal. The last time Christie talked for 107 minutes, he was ordering at IHOP. –Jimmy Fallon / Republican presidential hopeful Chris Christie said this weekend that he would rather jump off the Brooklyn Bridge than be in Congress. And just to be safe, Mayor de Blasio issued a tsunami warning for Lower Manhattan. –Seth Meyers / Chris Christie, there's 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag,. --Jon Stewart / Governor Christie was asked, 'Do you think this will hurt your chances of being president of the United States. And he said, 'Hey, we'll close that bridge when we come to it.' –David Letterman / If I was Chris Christie and everyone was focused on my weight, I'd pick an even fatter running mate – someone huge, like 600 pounds. –Jimmy Kimmel / "Turns out that the lane closures were meant to make life hell as payback to the mayor of Fort Lee, NJ, for not endorsing Christie for re-election. No word yet on what the rest of New Jersey is payback for." -Stephen Colbert / "Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening – it's kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonalds and not eat the fries on the way home." –Bill Maher / "Prince Harry this week toured the Jersey Shore with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. It was the first meeting between the Prince, of the House of Windsor, and the Governor, of the House of Pancake.'" –Amy Poehler
Not So Late Night Snacks: I've been thinkin' that the Republican Revolution is just Lincoln rolling over in his grave. --Roy Zimmerman There Goes The Sun
Peace we want because there is another war to fight against poverty, disease, and ignorance. We have promises to keep to our people of work, food., clothing, and shelter, health and education. --Indira Gandhi
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? --Lily Tomlin / Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself. --Lily Tomlin
..........Be careful what you say or do.........Gloria Estefan …..What Goes Around
^^^ The closest land relatives to dolphins are thought to be cows, pigs, and deer.
Worthless Fact of the Week: Ann Richards, in the keynote address at the 1988 National Democratic Convention, took a jab at George Bush, then vice president, saying "Poor George, he can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth." The remark was widely repeated in the press coverage of the event.
Weird Word of the Week: Zoilism – an enthusiastic devotion to something. A correspondent identified only as J Hooker wrote a disgusted letter to the Lady’s Newspaper of London in January 1863 about slovenly and unhygienic rural servants in France: If I were to do more than hint at their hydrophobic habits, their pulicidal, pulicivorous, and even phtheirophagous propensities, I should call down, not undeservedly, the Zoilism of our correspondents. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-zoi1.htm
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Do unto others 20% better than you would expect them to do unto you, to correct for subjective error. --Linus Pauling
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Repel squirrels and chipmunks from flower beds. Sprinkle one tablespoon of used Tidy Cats cat box filler (yes, used) on the ground around the base of each flower. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/tidycats.html
There is so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin if becoming an endangered synthetic. --Lily Tomlin / I may be schizophrenic, but I'll always have each other. --Lily Tomlin
...........She's a part of a colorful time.........Jefferson Airplane …..Plastic Fantastic Lover
^^^^ Dolphins can swim up to 650 feet below the surface of the ocean.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Metamorphose – change or cause to change in form or nature. Two Gentlemen of Verona. Act I Scene I Proteus: Thou, Julia, thou has metamorphosed me, made me neglect my studies, lose my time...
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A giant hoax dreamed up by scientists continues to pummel Houston. --Sumbitted by fb of az
YouTube of the Week: Here are four flood songs to listen to while you watch video of people and animals being rescued from Harvey. Texas Flood by Stevie Ray Vaughn / Mighty Day by the Chad Mitchell Trio / Muddy Waters Blues with Paul Rodgers / Bessie Smith Backwater Blues
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck sniffing out clues on every inch of floor in the case of the Dirty Dogo.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. --Lily Tomlin / If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? --Lily Tomlin
..........But the band kept a playin' and shakin' my bed.........Conway Twitty …..Honky Tonk Song
^^^^^ There are 20 extant species of dolphins.
Month of the Week: September is Be Kind to Editors and Writers Month - There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages. ~~Dilbert has introduced a tech writer characters. I love her. He wrote a 700 page warning label.
Most Beautiful Thing in the State: The website suggests that Cimarron National Grassland is the most beautiful spot in Kansas...and...it's very western Kansas looking. But the tall grass prairies in the flint hills strike me as more pleasing to the eye both looking out over the landscape and looking up close at the grass itself with its curling leaves and bent stems. I couldn't find a picture that showed those wonderful curly leaves. If you have one, please send it to me.
Today's Peace of History, September 1, 1997: Kurdish and British activists blockaded an arms trade exhibition outside London.
No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up. --Lily Tomlin / Why is it when we talk to God we're praying – but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic? --Lily Tomlin
..........Just keep going from place to place.........Bee Gees …..Second Hand People
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle September 1, 2017. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Random Writes of Peace and Silliness. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: I write to escape; to escape poverty. --Edgar Rice Burroughs
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 8/31/17: $782,097,425,861
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 8/24/17: $781,433,751,907
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 8/31/17: $820,789,828,007.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 8/24/17: $820,770,432,173.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 8/31/17: $16,583,997,706.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 8/24/17: $16,481,992,468.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 8/31/17: $158,470,869,414
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 8/24/17: $157,903,302,729
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 8/31/17: $1,783,085,675,293.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 8/24/17: $1,781,699,733,340.
Everything I have ever written or hoped to write is dedicated to our hope of peace and dignity and freedom in the world. --Margaret Walker
..........Cause you and I are dangerous.........Gloria Estefan …..Cuts Both Ways
Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. --Lily Tomlin / Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. --Lily Tomlin
Famous Last Words: ...state, territory or district of manufacture or production. Section 6: Keating-Owen Act
May Neither Peace nor Joy be random acts
May they be with you constantly
prairie mama
christine


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