Famous
First Words: Life is sweeter with easy-bake ..Hasbro
Easy-Bake
website
We've
endured it for 15 months, but it's nearly over. August 2015: Hillary
Clinton has a $350 billion plan that she says will make college more
affordable. Which has to be better than my parents' plan to make
college affordable: “Be good at sports.” --Jimmy Fallon / Donald
Trump said today that he has made up with Fox News over his
controversial comments toward Megyn Kelly. And if there’s anything
Trump and Fox are great at, it’s making things up. --Seth Meyers /
Liberal Democrat Bernie Sanders had a rally in Los Angeles last night
attended by over 27,000 supporters. The rally set the world record
for most Priuses in one parking lot. --Conan O'Brien
..........fell
down on my knees asked the lord above for mercy.........Ry Cooder
…..Crossroads
A
heart of peace is always the best problem-solver. --Sri Chinmoy
It
is a chilly Friday morning. There are no clouds in the sky and only
a single star has the power to remain visible in the rising sunlight.
No wind blows and no leaf holding on to its tree moves making the
world look like a silhouette of cut paper against the pale golden
east. A variety of bird calls fill the air, the harsh caw of the
crow and the song birds greeting the day in the little wood across
the street; none of it drowns the muffled motor sounds from streets
unseen. The 44°F is a little
cold, even without a breeze and I am bundled in sweater and cap.
Puck just heads for the deck to keep his cute little feet out off the
cold earth; he barks back at the distant greetings of other canine,
also unseen. My breath comes in small, visible puffs that float away
and disappear into the morning. We linger a while, I watching a
plane fly from the west to the east (probably landing at MCI) and
Puck making snuffling noises as he examines each corner of the deck
for … something. So we return to a humid warmth and the sounds of
the washer which is blending the smell of soap with my brewing
coffee. They are nice rooms. And now I take a long swig of
artificially sweetened, really creamed decaf and say good morning to
you.
Hope
your weekend is candidate free, ePistliers..
September
2015: Donald Trump said he would replace Obamacare with something
called Donaldcare. He claims it would save billions by denying
coverage to preexisting Hispanics. --Conan O'Brien / According to a
New York Times report, Hillary Clinton's campaign is trying to put
the whole email scandal behind her. They say they want to start
bringing humor and spontaneity to her campaign. And nothing says
spontaneity like announcing you're about to be spontaneous. “Here
comes the spontaneity in 3, 2, 1 ... Boo!” --Jimmy Fallon / You're
not just buying useless crap, you're doing your patriotic duty to buy
useless crap. As Rand Paul says of his own online merchandise,
“Thomas Jefferson would be proud.” So much better than Rand's
original slogan, “Impress a slaveholder!” --Stephen Colbert
..........But
I feel just like a lucky man........Ry Cooder …..Down in
Mississippi
Trivia
Questions: Happy Birthday to the lighthouse on Alcatraz.
^
Who or when or why was the island named Alcatraz?
^^
What was the first use of the island?
^^^
When did Alcatraz become a prison?
^^^^
Know anything about the escape from Alcatraz race?
^^^^^
Can you name any of Alcatraz's more infamous residents?
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
24% of librarians wanted to live in Richard Scarry's Busytown
as
a child; 75% still want to drive a pickle car.
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
ePistlier
Comment of the Week 1: So,
I heard on the radio this morning that Hillary Clinton and Donald
Trump are BOTH in Cedar Rapids today.(10/28) Did they go for the
Sci-Fi convention? At least one of them should be going. And he
doesn't even need a costume. He IS one! --mu of ks
Moonbeam:
The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our
wits to grow sharper. --Eden Pillpotts
December
2015: The most popular reality TV show
in America right now is Donald Trump's campaign for president. Trump,
yesterday, proposed a "total and complete shutdown" of
Muslims coming into the United States. Even former Vice President
Dick Cheney said the ban goes against everything we believe in. And
this is a guy who shot one of his friends. --Jimmy Kimmel / Hillary
Clinton recently started following a bunch of new people and
organizations on Instagram, including the home improvement channel,
HGTV. When asked why, Hillary was like, "Oh, I'm getting a new
house soon." --Jimmy Fallon
..........the
judge decreed it, clerk he wrote it down........Ry Cooder …..Viola
Lee Blues
Something
to Think About of the Week: Politics is really religion.
Politics is about sacredness. Politics is about offering a vision
that will bind the nation together to pursue greatness. --Jonathan
Haidt
Big
Hello:Mono – Himba (Namibia)
Week
of the Week:
National Fig Week (November 1-7) --Force
of 1 kilogram of falling figs =1 Fig Newton"
ePistlier
Comment of the Week 2: Grandpa
Bender use to tease my Grandmother re Aunt Kate. I have traced my
line back to 1620s to Kirchardt Germany. A lot of my ancestors were
of 10, 11, 12 children, so who knows. My line went from Germany to
Illinois to Kansas City to Independence, Galena, Chetopa and some
them back to KC. I get a lot of teasing. --submitted by jbender of
ks
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
Pax Aus 2016 (November 4-6, Melbourne)
It's merch. It's new. And it's headed your way...
Gaming con http://aus.paxsite.com/
January
2016 Jeb Bush misspoke during a campaign event
yesterday and mistakenly called President Obama’s daughter "Malala"
instead of Malia. And THEN, when he tried to say Sasha’s name, it
came out “I don’t want to run for president anymore.” --Seth
Meyers / Hillary Clinton said she went to Donald Trump’s wedding
but didn’t give him a gift. Trump said, "Just for that, you’re
not coming to my next three weddings." --Conan O'Brien / Donald
Trump announced that he's not going to participate in the Fox News
debate tomorrow night. The other candidates are really excited to
present their views in a serious, yet respectful manner — which
means they haven't been told that nobody is going to watch this one.
--Jimmy Fallon
..........Ain't
no other man let me down.........Amy Madigan …..He Made a Woman
Out of Me
^
In 1775, Spanish explorer Juan Manuel de Ayala mapped and named La
Isla de los Alcatraces, Island of Pelicans, because so many lived
there.
Almanac:
It is Friday, November 4, 2016. The moon is first quarter tonight
and is in Capricorn. It is National Chicken Lady Day,
National Candy Day, National Easy-Bake Oven Day, Sausage and Kraut
Day, and Use Your Common Sense Day.
Among
those born on this day were William II (of Orange, 1650), Eden
Phillpotts (1862), G.E. Moore (1873), James Fraser (1876), Will
Rogers (1879), Pauline Trigere (1912),Gig Young (1913), Walter
Cronkite (1916), Cameron Mitchell (1918), Markie Post (1950), and
Ralph Macchio (1962).
On
November fourth Abraham Lincoln married Mary Todd (1842), the first
nationally observed uniform election was held in the US (1845), the
lighthouse was build on Alcatraz Island (1854), the University of
Washington was founded (Seattle, 1861), Italy annexed Venetia (1866),
the gold crown for the tooth was patented (1873), California repealed
the ban on professional boxing (1924), Nellie Tayloe Roos was elected
as the frist female governor in the US (WY, 1924), Eisenhower was
elected (1952), the Philadelphia A's moved to Kansas City (1954),
Ronald Reagan was elected (1980), and Nicaragua held its first free
elections in 56 years (1984).
Tonight's
Sky: Around a hour before sunrise look
towards the East-Southeast, Jupiter is lying in Virgo. Orion rises on
the eastern horizon about 9 pm.
This
Week: Saturday, November 5 –
Zero Tasking Day and Stout Day
Night
Sky, November 5: The Leonids Meteor Shower begins tonight and
peaks on November 17-18. Jupiter rises before the waning moon
and then Venus and Mars show up.
Daylight
Savings Time ends (2 am)
Sunday,
November 6 – National Nachos Day & Saxophone Day
Night
Sky, November 6: Mercury is close to the east-southeast
horizon before sunrise.
Monday,
November 7 – Employee Brotherhood Day & International
Merlot Day
Night
Sky, November 7: Saturn disappears very low in the
southwest during twilight.
Tuesday,
November 8 – ELECTION DAY ~~For God's sake we've endured
hell while these idiots courted us – go vote for somebody. In a
related story it is also Abet & Aid Punsters Day
Night
Sky, November 8: The lone bright star in the south this
evening is Fomalhaut – the Solitary One.
Wednesday,
November 9 – World Freedom Day & X-Ray Day
Night
Sky, November 9: Uranus and Neptune are
high in the southeast and south respectively around 8 pm
Thursday,
November 10 – Sesame Street Day & Veteran's Day
April
2016: Donald Trump said yesterday that acting more
presidential would make his campaign “boring as hell.” Though if
he gets elected, I suppose “boring” is the best version of hell
we can hope for. --Seth Meyers / The director of the CIA says that no
matter who the next president is, the agency will not use
waterboarding ever again. Instead, he's come up with a new way to
torture people: turn off the Wi-Fi when they visit their parents’
house. --Jimmy Fallon
..........On
the full of the moon........Ry Cooder …..Cotton Needs Pickin'
^^
During the 1850s a fortress was constructed on Alcatraz and 100
cannons were installed around the island to protect San Francisco
Bay.
Funniest
thing I read of the Week: I thought getting old would take
longer. --submitted by ca of ks
Moonbeam:
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot
to the town gossip. --Will Roger
ePistlier
Comment of the Week 3:
Re: famous Kansans - I was raised in Labette County (Oswego,
to be precise, which is about 20 miles east of Cherryvale.) We heard
about the Benders throughout our childhood, but I never knew the real
story till I read it in your link in this week's epistle. How fun!
--ab of ks ~~Fun isn't the word I would have used...
Late
Night Snacks:
It
was announced that Shaquille O’Neal is now the owner of a Krispy
Kreme Doughnuts franchise in downtown Atlanta. They serve all kinds
of doughnuts, or as Shaq calls them, “frosted Cheerios.” --Jimmy
Fallon / Today is a special day, today is Hillary Clinton’s
birthday. You could email her a birthday card, or just send it
straight to WikiLeaks. --Conan O'Brien / Last night Taco Bell did a
promotion where if a player stole a base, everyone in America would
get a free Doritos Locos Taco. And this is a great way for both
players and fans to get a lot of runs. --James Corden / That’s
right, there’s exactly one week until Election Day, and this is
probably a bad sign, but that’s where the calendar just stops.
--Seth Meyers
/ The Chicago Cubs are going to the World Series! The Cubs are
playing another lovable loser, the Cleveland Indians. The two teams
have a combined 176 years without a championship. To put that in
perspective, that is almost as long as a baseball game feels.
--Stephen Colbert
A
warless world will come as men develop warless hearts. --Charles
Wesley Burns
May
2016: Donald Trump observed Cinco de Mayo. He
posted this on Facebook, “Happy Cinco de Mayo! The best taco bowls
are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics!” There you go. All
is forgiven. He even built a little wall around the Mexican salad so
it doesn't get on his American desk. --Jimmy Kimmel / A new poll
shows Hillary Clinton just one point ahead of Donald Trump
nationally. And now Canada is thinking about building a wall. --Seth
Meyers / After Hillary Clinton declined to debate Bernie Sanders this
month, there's now talk that Bernie might debate Donald Trump. No
word on what the debate will be on, but I'm guessing mute. --Jimmy
Fallon
..........I'm
built for comfort, not built for speed........Ry Cooder …..Willie
Brown Blues
^^^
By late in the 1850s the US army had begun holding prisoners on the
island assuming that the strong waters of San Francisco Bay would
render it un-escapable.
Worthless
Fact of the Week:
On November 4, 1861, the Territorial University of Washington
began classes in a building located on a site now occupied by the
Olympic Hotel. The University was on the outskirts of the village of
Seattle, which had a population of 250. (The 1860 census identified
302 people in King County.)
Weird
Word of the Week:
Fletcherise – to chew thoroughly ...from Horace Fletcher, The Great
Masticator. ...Eat
somewhat less but eat it more...
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-fle1.htm
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Mrs. Frankenstein, lissome and lean,
Had as perfect a bod as I’ve seen.
Husband Vic, from the start,
Took her hand, stole her heart,
And her liver, both lungs, and her spleen. --Tim James http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2016/08/
Had as perfect a bod as I’ve seen.
Husband Vic, from the start,
Took her hand, stole her heart,
And her liver, both lungs, and her spleen. --Tim James http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2016/08/
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Protect your knees when scrubbing floors. Peel the adhesive strip
from two Stayfree Maxi Pads and stick the pads to our knees for
cushioned support. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/stayfree.html
July
2016: Donald Trump met with 200 House Republicans
who were described as "nervous." And following the meeting,
many of them were described as "Democrats." --Conan O'Brien
/ Hip-hop group the Wu-Tang Clan has endorsed Hillary Clinton for
president. Which makes this the first presidential election where
both candidates have been endorsed by a "clan." --Seth
Meyers / Of course, it’s the Democratic Convention, which began
last night. There were several big moments, and by the end, everyone
was chanting "I'm With Her!" Unfortunately for Hillary,
they were talking about Michelle Obama. --Jimmy Fallon
...........You
better hush, hush, hush, hush........Ry Cooder …..Somebody's
Callin' My Name
^^^^
The Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon is 1.5 mile swim to San Francisco,
plus an 18 mile bike ride and and 8-mile run.
http://www.escapealcatraztri.com/
Word
Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Compromise – to expose or
make vulnerable to danger, suspicion, scandal, etc. The Merchant
of Venice Act I Scene III
–Shylock (When Laban and himself were compromised ...)
Diversion
of the Week:
The first presidential election in which I could vote was 1968.
Humphrey and Muskie were running against Nixon and Agnew. I wrote in
Pat Paulsen. (A
common, ordinary, simple savior of America's destiny)
Now I'm 72 and this could be my last presidential election (or not);
I think I may write in Pat Paulsen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTHge8q0zwY
Amazing
Thing on the Internet of the Week:
Watch hundreds of documentaries at http://documentaryheaven.com/
You an search by subject or title.
Puck
the Brave
Episode of the Week:
Here's
our fearless Puck counting leaves as they fall in the case of the
Autumn Ausky. http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/a/ausky.htm.
August
2016: President Obama piled on this morning, saying in a press
conference he feels Trump is unfit to be president. America's first
black president is begging you not to elect America's first orange
one. --James Corden / Calling your opponent the devil, that's going
to be tough to reel back in if he loses and has to make a concession
speech. "Today I called the devil and congratulated her on her
victory. I'm disappointed but we now unite behind our president the
devil." --Jimmy Kimmel / Eric Trump appeared on CBS "This
Morning" today and defended his father's ongoing feud with the
family of a veteran, saying, “What I think this country needs is a
fighter.” And to Donald Trump’s credit, he did bravely fight off
all five of the Army’s attempts to draft him. --Seth Meyers
..........Don't
you ever make such a bad mistake........Ry Cooder …..The Very
Thing That Makes You Rich
^^^^^
Among the prisoners at Alcatraz were Al Capone, George “Machine
Gun” Kelly, and the birdman (Robert Stroud).
Month
of the Week: November is Adopt A Turkey
Month –
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Can
Anthony Weiner please send a dick pick to the Standing Rock protests
so our mainstream media can start covering it? --Lucid Nation
Famous
Kansans:
Fred “Killer” Burke, a contract killer and a prime suspect in the
St. Valentine's Day Massacres, was born in Mapleton in
1893.https://www.kshs.org/kansapedia/fred-burke/17766
Today's
Peace of History, November
4, 2008: The
first African American ever nominated by a major political party as
candidate for president went before the electorate and won.
September
2016: A prominent Latino Trump supporter announced
today he is withdrawing his support for Donald Trump. He said, "I
would have done it sooner but I just came out of a year-long coma."
--Conan O'Brien / Much of the criticism stemmed from Lauer not
pressing Trump when he lied or didn't answer questions. My question
is, how did Matt Lauer even end up with this job? Was there a
conversation at NBC like, “You know who would be great for the
presidential forum?” And they were like, “Oh, the guy on ‘The
Today Show’ who excitedly announces they're now making pumpkin
spice marshmallows.” --James Corden / Last night they held, like,
an appetizer debate — an “amuse douche,” if you will. It was
called the Commander-in-Chief Forum. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump
answered questions about national security. It took place right here
in New York on the aircraft carrier Intrepid. Once the two of them
were on board, a lot of people were tempted to cut it loose and let
it drift out to sea. --Stephen Colbert
..........I
don't wanna be mistreated by no bourgeoisie.........Ry Cooder
…..Bourgeois Blues
Masthead
of the Week:
fRiday ePistle November 4, 2016 eLectoral ePistle. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Retired News and Rehashed Jokes.
Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS
66046
Moonbeam:
America's health care system is neither healthy, caring, nor a
system. --Walter Cronkite
Cost
of War:
Tax
dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 11/3/16: $753,156,817,977.
Tax
dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 10/27/16: $752,487,129,612.
Tax
dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 11/3/16:
$819,944,003,198.
Tax
dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 10/27/16:
$819,924,430,927.
Tax
dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 11/3/16: $12,135,852,913.
Tax
dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 10/27/16: $12,032,922,037.
Tax
dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 11/3/16:
$133,720,522,745.
Tax
dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 10/27/16:
$133,147,810,743.
Tax
dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 11/3/16:
$1,722,647,053,927.
Tax
dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 10/27/16:
$1,721,248,539,477.
If
you want to end the war then instead of sending guns, send books.
Instead of sending tanks, send pens. Instead of sending soldiers,
send teachers. --Malala Yousafzai
..........Sometimes
I take a great notion to jump in the river and drown........Ry Cooder
…..Goodnight Irene
October
2016: Yesterday,
LeBron James wrote an op-ed in which he endorsed Hillary Clinton.
LeBron says he and Hillary are all about the same thing: taking
forever to finally win something. --Jimmy Fallon / Over the weekend,
three pages of Donald Trump's 1995 tax return were leaked, revealing
that he declared a $916 million loss from his three Atlantic City
casinos. That's right. Donald Trump lost money on casinos. You know
what they say, "The house always loses." --Stephen Colbert
/ We're going to start by talking about everybody's favorite subject:
taxes. Over the weekend, Donald Trump's private tax documents were
leaked to The New York Times, showing that in 1995 he posted a loss
of $916 million dollars. The only people with a more embarrassing
loss in 1995 were the prosecution team in the O.J. Simpson trial.
--James Corden / Tomorrow night is the vice-presidential debate
between Mike Pence and Tim Kaine. Experts expect a record number of
people not to watch it.--Conan O'Brien
Famous
Last Words: And that's the way it is. --Walter Cronkite
May
Peace grace your ballot
And
Joy win your race
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh: Submitted by dg of oh
Puck
the Brave
The New Republican Party
Logo --submitted by bg of ks