ePistle

Friday, April 19, 2024

Cooooooooool ePistle

Famous First Words: How can you muster a unit in a place like this? --Recruiter Mother Courage And Her Children by Bertolt Brecht

April is Jazz Appreciation Month. If the film ratings system had been in place, The Jazz Singer would have been rated R because of all the sax. I was feeling really blue; the doctor said I had Mild Davis.

..........And whatever you've got to do.........Ella Fitzgerald …..A Lovely Day Today

The Gospel takes away our right forever, to discriminate between the deserving and the undeserving poor. --Dorothy Day

It is a bright Friday morning. The azure sky is partially covered in fluffy white humidity. There is little breeze to move the willow switches or the now leaf lined mulberry branches. Robins and sparrows have visited and departed leaving the backyard quiet and still. 41°F is normal and neither hot nor cold for an April sunrise although it feels a little bit chilly. A small insect flies by my window and disappears going north. I sip doctored decaf and listen to Puck snoring on his pillow. Fragrance from the few flowers left in the thinning, two week old bouquet still wafts its way through the air to make the morning pleasanter. Ah, and now the crows are here to sing their raucous melodies and scatter the clouds to let a burst of sunshine light up the willow and the mulberry and the world itself.

Hope your weekend is smokin', ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. --G K Chesterton

Great wine is like great jazz; it confuses me and I'm pretty sure it's all the same. There is so much traditional jazz in New Orleans that Louisiana has become a swing state.

..........When I wander through this wonderland alone.........Sarah Vaughn …..Misty

Trivia Questions: Happy DNA Day!

^ People are always talking about genes; what percentage of your DNA is made up of genes?
^^ What percentage of DNA is the same in all humans?
^^^ If you “unrolled” all your DNA how long a chain would that be?
^^^^ What other factors influence personal traits besides DNA?
^^^^^ Does your DNA change or age?

Big Hello: Gwe' – Míkmaq (Canada & USA) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The older we get, the more we can't believe how old we are.

Image of the Week: A gift from rhb of ks I really love them both. I pick them up and hold them for a while a couple of times a day.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Due to budget cuts 42% of libraries are now renting prime napping spots on Airbnb. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

A jazz musician is someone who puts a $5,000 horn in a $500 car and drives 50 miles for a $5 gig. A rocker plays 3 chords in front of 3,000 people. A jazz cat plays 3.000 chords in front of 3 people.

..........If you can keep me, I wants to stay here..........Nina Simone …..I Loves You Porgy

Moonbeam: Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows. --Al Unser Jr

Blasphemy of the Week: Jesus was a liberator of the oppressed, not a mascot for the powerful. --Submitted by sw of ks

Puzzle of the Week: Think of a nine-letter word naming a kind of tool that is mentioned in the Bible. Remove the second and sixth letters and the remaining letters can be rearranged to spell two new words that are included in a well known biblical passage and are related to the area in which the tool is used. What are the three words? NPR Sunday Puzzle 4/14/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's good to know who hates you, and it's good to be hated by the right people. --Johnny Cash

Kenny G has made a new album featuring adaptations of Thelonious Monk compositions. It includes some truly unforgettable tracks such as “Round Noon” and “Straight No Changes”. How many jazz trumpeters does it take to change a light bulb? None, the piano player can screw it in with her left hand.

..........Help me solve the mystery of it.........Dinah Washington …..Teach Me Tonight

^ Genes are short segments of DNA, but not all DNA is made up of genes. All told, genes are only about 1-3% of your DNA. The rest of your DNA code controls the activity of your genes. Your genes influence how you look, how you act, and even how susceptible you are to disease.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 19, 2024. The moon will be full (Pink) next Tuesday (4/23) and is in Virgo. It is National Garlic Day, Day of Silence, National Hanging Out Day, Yom HaShoah (Holocaust Remembrance Day), DNA Day, and National Day of No Silence. In Oklahoma City it is Bombing Commemoration Day.

Among those born on this day were Roger Sherman (1721), Thomas McKean (1721), Eliot Ness (1903), Glenn T Seaborg (1912), Dick Sargent (1933), Dudley Moore (1935), Tim Curry (1946), Al Unser, Jr (1962) and Ashley Judd (1968).

On April nineteenth The Netherlands recognized the United States (1782), the California Historical Society formed (1852), Connecticut finally approved the Bill of Rights (1939), Mother Courage and Her Children premiered (1941), Carousel opened (1945), ABC-TV began broadcasting (1948), Chiang Kai-shek was elected president of Taiwan (1948), Grace Kelly married Prince Rainier III (1956), Surveyor III landed on the moon (1967), and Sierra Leone became a republic (1971).

Night Sky, 4/19: Bright Arcturus climbs high in the east these evenings. Equally bright Capella descends high in the northwest. They stand at exactly the same height above your horizon at some moment between about 9 and 10 pm daylight-saving time, depending mostly on how far east or west you live in your time zone. How accurately can you time this event for your location? Like everything constellation-related, it happens 4 minutes earlier each night.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Playdoh Playday

This Week: Saturday, April 20 – 4/20 Day & Auctioneers Day & World Circus Day

Sunday, April 21 -Bulldogs Are Beautiful Day & International Hemp Day & National Yellow Bat Day

Monday, April 22 – Earth Day & National Baseball Day & Beagle Day

Night Sky, 4/22: The Lyrids will peak tonight, displaying a maximum of about 18 meteors per hour in a clear sky.

Tuesday, April 23 – English Language Day & Movie Theatre Day & Talk Like Shakespeare Day & World Book Night

Wednesday, April 24 – Secretary's Day & National Library Outreach Day & Walk At Lunch Day

Night Sky, 4/24: As night descends, look high in the west for Pollux and Castor lined up almost horizontally (depending on your latitude). These two stars, the heads of the Gemini twins, form the top of the enormous Arch of Spring. To their lower left is Procyon, the left end of the Arch. Farther to their lower right is the other end, formed by Menkalinan (Beta Aurigae) and then brilliant Capella. The whole thing sinks in the west through the evening.

Thursday, April 25 – Celebrate Teen Literature Day & Hug A Plumber Day & Red Hat Society Day

What's the difference between a jazz trumpet solo and a jet plane? About 3 decibels. I feel sad for people like John Coltrane and Charlie Parker who never got to hear third wave ska and find out what those instruments were really capable of.

..........Let's close our eyes and make our own paradise.........Betty Carter …..Let's Fall in Love

^^ We're all 99.5 percent alike. Of the 3 billion base pairs in the human genome, only about 0.5% tend to vary between individuals. While that 0.5% is still what makes us unique, it means we're all more similar than we are different. Studying where those 0.5% are located in the human genome is easier for researchers than to look at all 3 billion base pairs.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm so broke even my reality check bounced. --Submitted by ff of ks

Moonbeam: I find there is something very intimate about being the voice in someone's ear when they're driving. --Tim Curry

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: About one-third of Republicans say they believe Taylor Swift is involved in a covert government effort to help Joe Biden win the 2024 presidential election, a poll from Monmouth University found. The absurd and baseless conspiracy theory in question, which was popularized in right-wing media ahead of Super Bowl LVIII, alleges Swift’s relationship with Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce was fabricated by the government as part of a sprawling psychological operations plot. The goal of the purported plot is that the Chiefs’ victory on Sunday would present Swift with an even larger pulpit from which to endorse Biden, swinging the 2024 presidential election in his favor. While the pop superstar endorsed Biden ahead of the 2020 election and has encouraged her fans to vote in recent years, there is no factual evidence to support the conspiracy theory that has quickly moved from the fringe into the public discourse. --CNN

Video of the Week: Meryl Streep as Mother Courage video clips from mother courage and her children - Google Search (3:15) ~~Warning it is interspersed with commentary, but Streep is incredible.

Don't call me a saint. I don't want to be dismissed so easily. --Dorothy Day

That was Charlie Parker's Ornithology. I threw in a flat nine in bar 16 and a tritone substitution in bar 22. Who noticed that? Hands up if you noticed. English is important but Jazz Band is importanter.

..........When some quarrel we had needs mending.........Carmen McRae …..Round Midnight

^^^ Your DNA could stretch from the earth to the sun and back ~600 times. If unwound and linked together, the strands of DNA in each of your cells would be 6 feet long. With about 30 trillion cells in your body, that means if all your DNA were put end-to-end, it would stretch over 67 billion miles. In comparison, the distance between Earth and the Sun is 93 million miles, and it’s “only" 3 billion miles between Earth and Neptune, the planet at the farthest edge of our solar system.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Politics is the entertainment division of the military industrial complex. --Frank Zappa

Weird Word of the Week: Carwhichet or carriwichet – a non-sequitur question... Is it further to LA or by bus? World Wide Words: Carwhichet

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove wine spills or other sports from carpet. Apply Canada Dry Club Soda to the stain, rub it in, wait a few minutes, and sponge it off. Canada Dry®: Wacky Uses

How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb? 5 – one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how Charlie Parker would have done it. How late does the band play? About half a beat behind the drummer.

...........The magic we shared together........Blossom Dearie …..They Say It's Spring

^^^^ Your traits are a product of your genes and your environment. Some of your traits are controlled entirely by your DNA. But most of your traits are controlled by a combination of your genetic information and your environment. For example, your height as an adult is strongly influenced by your DNA. After all, tall biological parents tend to have tall biological children. But, early childhood nutrition also plays a big factor in how tall you become as an adult.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I learned a lot from my mistakes so I decided to make more mistakes to learn more.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Concinnity 24 (20th, Milwaukee School of Engineering) ...As near as I can tell it's a Social Media convention with facebook and tik tok celebrities as guests. Concinnity Home (weebly.com)

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 2024 Tech Expo & Stem Summit (17-19, Orlando, FL) SAEOPP (Education Opportunity Personnel) 2024 National Technology Exposition and STEM Summit - MySAEOPP

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Plowshare → Reap and Sow

Playing jazz trumpet is like marriage; it seems easy until you try it. Pirates and jazz trumpeters have one thing in common – terror on the high “Cs”.

..........you drove me, nearly drove me out of my mind.........Julie London …..Cry Me A River

^^^^^ Your DNA changes over time. For the most part, your DNA is the same now as it was when you were a child, and will be the same when you are much older. But, throughout your life, your DNA acquires random mutations during replication that change your DNA sequence. Most of the time these changes are not noticeable. Additionally, your DNA has special protective caps made of DNA on the ends of the chromosomes, called telomeres. While you age, these telomeres shorten. ~~So while I was getting fat, my DNA was slimming down. Great.

Observation Topic of the Week: When Lord Nelson died he was 5 feet tall. His statue in London is 15 feet tall. That's Horatio of 3:1. --Submitted by Heinlein Society

Quote of the Week: Jazz music is the power of now. There is no script. It's conversation. The emotion is given to you by musicians as they make split-second decisions to fulfill what they feel the moment requires. --Wynton Marsalis

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: As I walk through the valley of shadow and death, I remind myself that...you can't always trust Google maps. --Submitted by High Church Coyote

Today's Peace of History, April 19, 1977: 16 women in the US House of Representatives formed the Congressional Caucus for Women's Issues.

My goldfish are named Dorian, Lydian, Major, Minor, and Diminished. The only way I can tell them apart is by their scales. Opinions are like assholes...everyone's got one. --Art Blakey

..........I loves da man lak a schoolboy loves his pie.........Bessie Smith …..Saint Louis Blues

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, April 19, 2024, cOol ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.arsi

Moonbeam: I changed my mind, I ain't complaining. --Mother Courage --Bertolt Brecht

Cost of War:

As of 04/18/24 State Department Costs: $233,940,033,337.
As of 04/11/24 State Department Costs: $233,375,633,177.
As of 04/18/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,212,522,318,443.
As of 04/11/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,210,945,818,640.
As of 04/18/24 Homeland Security: $1,165,814,295,243.
As of 04/11/24 Homeland Security: $1,165,201,198,338.
As of 04/18/24 Veterans Care: $3,616,492,344,198.
As of 04/11/24 Veterans Care: $3,604,541,387,056.
As of 04/18/24 Military Costs: $3,080,304,253,604.
As of 04/11/24 Military Costs: $3,079,107,218,499.
As of 04/18/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,309,075,151,571.
As of 04/11/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,293,173,046,361.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

We are the nation most powerful, the most armed and we are supplying arms and money to the rest of the world where we are not ourselves fighting. We are eating while there is famine in the world. --Dorothy Day

Famous Last Words: ...without fear or favour, affection or ill-will. (So help me God) --President's Oath Sierra Leone

..........Scent of magnolias, sweet and fresh..........Billie Holiday …..Strange Fruit ~~All of today's songs are famous jazz renditions of famous jazz songs by famous lady jazz singers.

There is nothing to keeping a band together. You simply have to have a gimmick, and the gimmick I use is to pay them money. --Duke Ellington Women and rhythm-section first! --Jaco Pastorius

May Peace play your melody
And Joy keep your tempo
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh:

Friday, April 12, 2024

6-String ePistle

Famous First Words: We were in class when... Gustave Flaubert: Madame Bovary

Rejoice, it's International Guitar Month! This next song is about the feelings of an expensive, finely crafted instrument spending its life in the hands of a musical hack. / If you know how many guitars you have, you don't have enough.

..........When the dream came..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..On The Way Home

Our world needs peace. Now more than ever. --António Guterres

It is a chilly (47°F) Friday morning. A light southwestern breeze makes the willow dance but does not seem so serious about the chill. Birds of all sizes and songs have already flown over the backyard and the house...sparrows, robins, and a single, large bird I could not name. There are no clouds to hide the bluest sky; it is pale where the sun shines and darker low where the rising sun has not yet penetrated. Both bird song and bird conversation is scattered throughout the trees. A robin sits on a power wire but makes no noise at all. The leaves on the mulberry have pushed into little buds that at any moment will reveal green. Ah, I am sipping creamed and sweetened decaf and iced water. I light a cone of incense to tint even the air with a smidgen of beauty. Wow, another beautiful day.

Hope your weekend plucks all the right strings, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I liked it better when we were the major threat to the state. --rg of kc

Yes, Jimi Hendrix, No, not Jimi Hendrix. Guitars liked the way Jimi played them but not the way he smashed instruments. / Three bass players walked into a bar. They all ended up on the floor bruised but the bar was uninjured.

..........Because the past is just a goodbye..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Teach Your Children

Trivia Questions: Happy National Robotics Week (6-14)

^ Which Czech science fiction author coined the word Robot?
^^ How many of Isaac Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics can you name?
^^^ How early did robots appear in movies?
^^^^ Can you name the well known robot that appeared in literature before the word was coined?
^^^^^ How many of the 25 Real-Life (sic) robots can you name?

Big Hello: Bonzur – Mauritian Creole https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Nice sense of meaning you've got there...be a shame if someone were to... subject it to philosophical inquiry.

Image of the Week: The background is a picture of a calendar page and the acknowledgment says: Christine Smith – Lawrence Progressive Calendar November 6, 2016 – April 7, 2024 Thank you for your dedication to Peace and Justice

Observation of the Week: I have long claimed that the secret to happiness is twofold. Lose your expectations and minimize your ego. In the last year I have unexpectedly received two commemorations and spent time sitting around listening to people talk about what I've done and how I did it. pure ego boost. I really hate to admit this, but it has made me happy. Sigh.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Worst April Fools joke in a library is announcing there's cake in the breakroom where there isn't. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

“OMG, it's just about showtime. I'm not going to be able to hit the notes. Everybody's gonna stare at me. I'll break a string. ... Guitar Frets / Dinosaurs that played the guitar are called Jurassic Pluckers.

..........Why can't we go on as three..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Triad

Moonbeam: Impressionism: It is the birth of Light in painting. --Robert Delaunay

Blasphemy of the Week: Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you. --Submitted by cf of kc

Puzzle of the Week: The English language developed in a patriarchal society, so many words in our language were traditionally assumed to be male and turned into female versions by adding a prefix or suffix. Waiter and waitress, comedian and comedienne — those are just two examples of the many stereotypically "male" words that become new "female words" by adding a suffix. There is a common English word that works the opposite way, where the uninflected form is used generally for women and to which we add a two-letter suffix for the male form. What is that word? NPR Sunday Puzzle, 4/7/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it. --George Carlin

How did Stevie Ray Vaughn protect his guitar from theft? He stored it in a bass case. / Fred put together a rock and roll trio of an Ibanez Genesis, a Salvi Aurora concert harp, and a Luthieros Lyre. Fred called it fusion music but his wife called it String Theory.

..........Shells lie scattered in the sand..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..The Lee Shore

^ You're familiar with Karel Čapek, right? If not, you should be—he's the guy who (along with his brother Josef) invented the word “robot.” Čapek introduced robots to the world in 1921, when his play “R.U.R.” (subtitled “Rossum's Universal Robots”) was first performed in Prague. ~~My absolute favorite Čapek is The Absolute At Large. It is only one of two truly pantheistic novels I know of. (The other is The Golden Ass by Apuleius.)

Almanac: It is Friday, April 12, 2024. The moon will enter the first quarter next Monday (4/15) and is in Gemini. It is International Day of Human Space Flight (UN), D.E.A.R. (Drop Everything and Read) Day, Licorice Day, Look Up at the Sky Day, and Walk on Your Wild Side Day. In North Carolina it is Halifax Independence Day (1776).

Among those born on this day are Aleksandr Ostrovsky (1823), Robert Delaunay (1885), Johnny Dodds (1892), Herbert Mills (1912), Emil T. Petaja (1915), Maria Callas (1923), Tiny Tim (Herbert Butros Khaury, 1932), Herbie Hancock (1940), Ed O'Neill (1946), David Letterman (1947), David Cassidy (1950), Andy Garcia (1956), Shannen Doherty (1971), and Claire Danes (1979).

On April twelfth England adopted the Union Jack flag (1606), England, Ireland and Scotland united (1654), Madame Bovary was published (1857), North Carolina passed an Anti-Klan law (1869), the catcher's mask was first used (1877), the Hippodrome opened (NYC, 1905), the 48 hour work week became law in the UK (1919), Spain voted out the monarchy (1931), Harry Truman was sworn in as the 33rd president (1945), Syria gained independence (1946), Big Joe Turner released Shake, Rattle and Roll (1954), the A's played their first game in KC (1955), Douglas MacArthur declined an offer to become baseball commissioner (1961), Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young released 4 Way Street (1971), the space shuttle Columbia was launched (1981), Texaco filed for bankruptcy (1987), Sonny Bono was elected mayor of Palm Springs (1988), and Euro Disney opened (1992).

Night Sky, 4/12: Just above the crescent Moon this evening is Beta Tauri (El Nath), which at magnitude +1.6 just misses being a 1st-magnitude star. Far to their right or upper right is brighter Capella. A little farther to their left or lower left is Betelgeuse. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: On the yard again...

This Week: Saturday, April 13 – Scrabble Day & Slow Art Day & Thomas Jefferson Day

Sunday, April 14 – National Dolphin Day & Pan American Day & International Moment of Laughter Day

Night Sky, 4/14: The Moon, less than a day before the first quarter, hangs under Castor and Pollux this evening.

Monday, April 15 -Income Tax Day & Jackie Robinson Day & National ASL Day (American Sign Language)

Tuesday, April 16 – National Orchid Day & Save the Elephant Day & National Stress Awareness Day

Wednesday, April 17 – Bat Appreciation Day & Herbalist Day & International Haiku Poetry Day

Night Sky, 4/16: The Lyrids meteor shower is a medium-strength shower that occurs between April 16-25 every year. It peaks next week on the night of April 22, 2024. Meteor showers 2024 — When is the next one? | Space

Thursday, April 18 – Adult Autism Day & Pinata Day & World Amateur Radio Day

How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar? Nobody knows. / A guitar is just a cello after taxes.

..........Though your brother's bound and gagged..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Chicago

^^ Laws of Robotics: 1) A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2) A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3) A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking... --Submitted by FNOG

Moonbeam: Only when I was singing did I feel loved. --Maria Callas

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: The Final Eclipse! There are dozens of examples being shared online, but among the most quoted involve the fact that the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) will be firing up the Large Hadron Collider on that day for the first time in two years. Many online are linking the celestial event to the restart of the device that, more than a decade ago, found the Higgs boson, which many misleadingly label the “God particle”. The Solar Eclipse Is the Super Bowl for Conspiracists | WIRED

Audio of the Week: Here is Songs of 1944 Part 1.Songs from 1944 (Part One) (youtube.com) --Found for us by jb of ks … also born in 1944.

Yet conflict, rising inequalities, persistent injustices, humanity’s war on nature, and a global financial system that is outdated, dysfunctional and unfair, are blocking the path to peace. --António Guterre

Yeah, well, what if the guitar is just a supersized ukulele? / What did the deadhead say when she ran out of weed? OMG this music stinks.

..........Is this not the way it seems..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Cowgirl In The Sand

^^^ Most people couldn't tell you what movie had the first ever robot in motion picture history. The answer is a 1918 silent film called The Master Mystery - which starred Harry Houdini (the famous magician and escape artist).

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If we were all forced to wear a warning label, what would yours say? --Submitted by FNOG

Weird Word of the Week: Bing - British slang for a woman or girl, but it is always disparaging and offensive and signals the user as lower class and unrefined. It’s also now rather dated. World Wide Words: Bint

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make inexpensive soft drinks. Add Canada Dry to fruit juice for a low-cost and healthy beverage. Canada Dry®: Wacky Uses ~~This doesn't strike me as a wacky use. It seems like the primary reason you make the stuff is to add it to other stuff.

A clean shot is when you throw the guitar into the toilet without hitting the sides. / Mary's Gibson Les Paul Tribute was possessed by a demon and no matter how well she played it sounded like fingernails on a blackboard. It was like a lawsuit. Everyone was relieved when the case was closed.

...........And your days will be filled with love..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Pre-Road Downs

^^^^ Does the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz count as a robot? In L Frank Baum's novel, Ozma of Oz, the first-ever introduction of a humanoid-appearance mechanical man that would satisfy the later "humanoid robot" definition occurred in 1907 - some fifteen years before the word "robot" was coined. Tik-Tok was powered with a trio of clockwork movements for his thinking, movement, and speech, none of which he could wind up himself.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You know what they say...April snow, earthquake, and eclipse bring May flowers. --Cory Orcutt --Submitted by jm of ks

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Fanexpo Cleveland (12-14, Cleveland,OH) An incredible array of media gusts – LOTR, Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, AHSOKA (whatever that is) Celebrities | FAN EXPO Cleveland (fanexpohq.com)

My Solution of the Week: We build a Con Man Hall of Fame. We induct Ponzi and P T Barnum and Madoff...whoever. Then we declare Trump the greatest Con Man of all time. He's the best, the biggest, and all the other stuff he keeps saying about himself. Perhaps then he can retire … happy that he's better than every other con man ... but retire is the key word.

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Triennial Earth-Sun Summit (TESS, 7-12, Dallas, TX) participation by the entire Heliophysics community. Triennial Earth-Sun Summit 2024 | AGU

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Widower

The difference between an electric guitar and an onion is that nobody cries when you cut up the guitar. / The difference between an electric guitar and a trampoline is that you remove your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

..........Tin soldiers and Nixon coming..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Ohio

^^^^^ 1) ADIBOT, 2) Ameca, 3) Atlas, 4) Asimo, 5) Automower, 6) Big Dog, 7) Bot Care, 8)Bot Handy, 9) Da Vinci systems, 10) Domino's delivery robot, 11) Leka, 12) Nao, 13) Pepper, 14)Robear, 15) Robo-fish, 16) RoBoHon, 17) Roomba, 18) Shakey, 19) SNAG, 20) Sofia, 21) Spot, 22) Starship delivery robots, 23) Telepresence robot, 24) Walker X, 25) Waymo 25 Real Robots That Exist Today: Real-Life Robots in Everyday Life | Trusted Since 1922 (rd.com)

Quote of the Week: This guitar is such a pal. It’s a psychiatrist. It’s a doggone bartender. It’s a housewife. This guy is everything. Whenever I find that I’ve got a problem, I’ll go pick my guitar up and play. It’s the greatest pal in the whole world. --Les Paul

Second Observation of the Week: April 12: In ancient Roman religion, Ceres was a goddess of agriculture, grain crops, fertility and motherly relationships. April 12 was the opening of Her 7 day Festival, Ludi Cereales, which included the popular Ceres' games, i.e. the Cereal Games. ~~The Original Bowl Games

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If he's selling sneakers and bibles that can only mean he ran out of classified documents. --Submitted by pj of ks

Today's Peace of History, April 12, 1937: 60,000 students across the US took part in the first nationwide student strike. The protest was against participation in any war.

You can make a chainsaw sound like an electric guitar by adding vibrato. / My computer nerd cousin bought a rhythm guitar so he could play algorithms.

..........Now your crosses are burning fast..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Southern Man

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, April 12, 2024, 6-String ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Jazz is about being in the moment. --Herbie Hancock

Cost of War:

As of 04/11/24 State Department Costs: $233,375,633,177.
As of 04/04/24 State Department Costs: $232,815,636,279.
As of 04/11/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,210,945,818,640.
As of 04/04/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,209,381,704,390.
As of 04/04/24 Homeland Security: $1,164,892,923,413.
As of 04/11/24 Veterans Care: $3,604,541,387,056.
As of 04/11/24 Homeland Security: $1,165,201,198,338.
As of 04/04/24 Veterans Care: $3,592,684,963,426.
As of 04/11/24 Military Costs: $3,079,107,218,499.
As of 04/04/24 Military Costs: $3,077,919,663,375.
As of 04/11/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,293,173,046,361.
As of 04/04/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,277,396,947,787.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Together, let us take action now to build a more inclusive, sustainable, and peaceful world for all. --António Guterres, UN Secretary-General

Famous Last Words: ...to save your doggone soul. --Big Joe Turner Shake, Rattle, and Roll

..........The eagle files with the dove..........Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young …..Love The One You're With

An electric guitar is like a SCUD missile; both are offensive and inaccurate. / My stratocaster named her daughter Amanda Lynn.

May Peace set the tempo
And Joy play the melody
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh:

Friday, April 5, 2024

ePistle 80

Famous First Words: It's a girl. --my doctor

Today I turn 80 years old. Turning 80 is just like turning 27 in Celsius. Wow! It seems like only yesterday that I was 79. Actually, 80 is the new 60 with more wisdom but fewer teeth.

..........Adrift in a world of my own..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..The Great Pretender

Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhuman. --Martin Luther King, Jr

It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sky is azure without cloud or jet trail. There is no breeze to make the willow dance or the mulberry sway. Birthday perks started with Jeff handing me a cup of sweetened and creamed coffee just after I awoke and breakfast out awaiting the ePistle's delivery. It is chilly (34°F). Vance sent me birthday greetings from Thailand as soon as it was Friday there and I sat down to a rappin' birthday card from Jo. 80 years is both a long time and only a moment making this Schrödinger's birthday. Puck consumed a handful of tiny treats and is now lying on my feet which have not yet been imprisoned in shoes or socks. All in all a very pleasant morning, hope yours is the same.

May your weekend give you a lifetime of memories, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you can't think of a word say “I forget the English word for it”. That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an 80 years old.

By the time you reach 80 you've learned everything. It's remembering it that's a problem. Actually at 80 things are finally beginning to click – knees, elbows, hips...

..........Is? Is it hopeless to love you ..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..Helpless

Trivia Questions: Things that happened 80 years ago.

^ Which Bogart film won Best Picture at the Oscars in 1944?
^^ What June 6, 1944 event changed the course of WWII?
^^^ Who won the world series in 1944?
^^^^ What song did Billboard declare the most popular of 1944?
^^^^^ Who won the presidential election of 1944 and who was he running against?

~~There were no World Science Fiction conventions during WWII. In 2019 the Hugo Award Committee gave out Retro 1944 Hugos to Fritz Leiber Jr for Conjure Wife for best novel and the best short story Hugo to King of the Gray Spaces by Ray Bradbury. The NY Times lists the best selling book as A Tree Grows in Brooklyn but Publishers Weekly lists Strange Fruit by Lillian Smith.

Big Hello: Hi'elel'ut – Galllifreyan (Dr Who's home planet)

Hippy Update of the Week: I have an April 28 appointment with Dr James Huston at OrthoKansas. My insurance gave me the okay. So, I'm just in waiting mode. My next goal is to learn to drive those awful electric carts at the grocery store...without maiming any shoppers or workers.

Funniest Thing I Did Once of the Week: I told my son's high school Economics teacher that what is called economics in daily life is really finance (a small branch of real economics) and that it was the functional religion of the United States and therefore should not be taught in public school. ~~Fortunely he had a sense of humor and my son passed the class.

Image of the Week: This is a golden arches Marijuana bag. It was a gift – easily, I think, 30+ years ago – from a coworker who is still a friend. It was a souvenir from a trip to Cancun. This week he sent me a message asking if I still use it and I do. It was and still is hanging on my bedpost not 5 feet from my computer. It contains paraphernalia that is not used everyday.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 10% of special collections librarians shelve items by the Mildewey Decimal System. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Life at 80 is like a roll of toilet paper – the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. Actually, age is just the price tag that life puts on you. I am now, officially, priceless.

..........They ask me how I knew my true love was true..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

Moonbeam: Laughter is nothing else but sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency in ourselves, by comparison with the infirmity of others, or with our own formerly. --Thomas Hobbes

Blasphemy of the Week: Imagine taking a few Bible verses on human sexuality as literal divine commands from God for all society, but minimizing the +3000 verses calling for the care of immigrants, the marginalized, the oppressed, and the poor to a personal choice. --Rev Benjamin Cremer --Submitted by MMS

Puzzle of the Week: From Mae McAllister of Bath (UK): As you may know, each chemical element can be represented by a one- or two-letter symbol. Hydrogen is H, helium is He, and so on. Mae points out that there are two commonly known elements whose names each can be spelled using three other element symbols. Name either one. NPR Sunday Puzzle 3/31/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Reality TV to me is the museum of social decay. --Gary Oldman

I'm still playing with a full deck; I just shuffle slower. Actually, at 80 you're allowed to spend more time napping than you spend awake.

..........Goodbye to tender nights beside the silvery sea ..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..Harbor Lights

^ Casablanca won best picture and Michael Curtiz won for directing it. ~~For ePistle Regulars (FERs) Jack Benny was the host that year.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 5, 2024. The moon will be new on Monday (4/8) and is in Pisces. It is Go For Broke Day, Lava Lamp Day, National Deep Dish Pizza Day, Hospital Admitting Clerks Day, and National Walk to Work Day. In Massachusetts it is Student Government Day.

Among those born on this day were Thomas Hobbes (1588), Kan van Kessel (1626), Giacomo Casanova (1725), Booker T. Washington (1856), Spencer Tracy (1900), Bette Davis (1908), Gregory Peck (1916), Robert Bloch (1917)) ~~Bloch was the Guest of Honor and the very first science fiction convention I attended, 1974. Robert Q. Lewis (1921), Gale Storm (1922), Tony Williams (The Platters, 1928), Vince Gill (1957), and Harcourt Fenton "Harry" Mudd (2173).

On April fifth Noah's ark grounded on Mt. Ararat (calculated, 2348 BCE), the Mayflower set sail again (1621), the British Museum was established (1853), the first US Chamber of Commerce was founded (NYC, 1768), Der Fledermaus premiered (1874), Firestone began production of inflatable tires (1923), Johnny Weissmuller set records at the Olympics (1927), San Francisco replaced the Castro & Fillmore streetcars with buses (1941), WGN in Chicago began broadcasting (1948), Julius & Ethel Rosenberg were sentenced to death (1951), Elvis Presley recorded his debut single (That's All Right, 1954), A Thousand Clowns premiered (1962), Wilt Chamberlain set the NBA record with 41 rebounds ( 76ers, 1967), Pioneer 11 was launched towards Jupiter (1973), Galileo flew by Ganymede (1997), and Earth first encountered extra-terrestrials (Vulcans, (2063).

Night Sky 4/5: Shortly after nightfall around this time of year, Arcturus, the bright Spring Star climbing in the east, stands just as high as Sirius, the brighter Winter Star descending in the southwest (for skywatchers at mid-northern latitudes). These are the two brightest stars in the sky at the time. But Capella is a very close runner-up to Arcturus! Spot it high in the northwest. Celestial Events | The Latest Observing News from Sky & Telescope - Sky & Telescope (skyandtelescope.org)

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Bedtime at grandma's.

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If Paul saw today's church, we'd be getting a letter.

This Week: Saturday, April 6 – Every Day Is Tag Day & National Play Outside Day & Tartan Day

Sunday, April 7 – International Beaver Day & Metric System Day & World Health Day (UN)

Monday, April 8 – Buddha's Birthday & Right to Read Day & Draw
A Bird Day

Afternoon Sky, 4/8: Total and also partial eclipse of the sun. (1:27 pm in Texas and 3:35 pm in Maine) For everything you want to know about this eclipse and then some more try: Total Solar Eclipse 2024 US — Great American Eclipse

Tuesday, April 9 – Appomattox Day & National Be Kind To Lawyers Day & National Library Day

Wednesday, April 10 – National Farm Animals Day & ASPCA Day & Safety Pin Day

Night Sky, 4/10: High above the Big Dipper late these evenings, nearly crossing the zenith, are three pairs of dim naked-eye stars, all 3rd or 4th magnitude, marking the Great Bear's feet. They're also known as the Three Springs (or Leaps) of the Gazelle, from early Arab lore. They form an east-west line that lies roughly midway between the Bowl of the Big Dipper and the Sickle of Leo. The line is 30° (three fists) long. According to the ancient Arabian story, the gazelle was drinking at a pond — the big, dim Coma Berenices star cluster — and bounded away when startled by a flick of Leo's nearby tail, Denebola. Leo, however, seems quite unaware of all this, facing the other way.

Thursday, April 11 – Barbershop Quartet Day & National Pet Day & Submarine Day

I've adopted a new slogan. It's a quote from Mae West: Anything worth doing is worth doing slow. Actually, at 80 your bones soften but your arteries harden, so it balances out.

..........Would my every prayer begin and end with just your name..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..If I Didn't Care

^^ On June 6, 1944, the Allies changed the course of WWII with D-Day. This massive assault on Nazi-occupied Europe turned the tide of World War II.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. --Ralph Waldo Emerson

Moonbeam: Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk. --Robert Bloch ~~Robert wrote the book, but someone else wrote the screenplay.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: What or Who Made the Baltimore Bridge Collapse? Some right-wing social media users suggested that Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) policies were linked to the bridge collapse by arguing that more qualified people were passed over for jobs to fulfill diversity and inclusion mandates and that this in some way contributed to or caused the accident. ~~One of many theories. How the Baltimore bridge collapse spawned a torrent of instant conspiracy theories | CNN Politics

Video of the Week: Songs from 1944 Part 2 (13:21) Songs from 1944 (Part Two) (youtube.com) ~~I did not find Part 1.

Universal health care saves everyone --Jeff Latas

On Talk Like a Pirate Day (9/19) I get to say, “Aye Matey”. Actually, now that I'm 80 I'm going to get my first tattoo. My name and address on my wrist.

..........You're a cool, crazy kitten ..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..Voovee A Bee

^^^ The 1944 “Trolley Series” pitted the St. Louis Blues against the St. Louis Cardinals. The series went six games with the Cardinals winning. ~~This is the only World Series to date in which neither team was credited with a stolen base.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough. --Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Subchondral – bone that sits underneath cartilage in a joint. ~~It's where I have cystic change, sclerosis, and bony remodeling. define subchondral - Google Search

Dragon of the Week: In case you hadn't heard...

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Happy Lava Lamp Day! Make a poor man's lava lamp. Fill a glass with Canada Dry Club Soda and drop in two raisins. The carbonation will cause the raisins to repeatedly bob to the surface and then sink again. Canada Dry®: Wacky Uses

My memory shrinks. My hearing stinks. No sense of smell, I look like hell. My mood is bad—can you tell? My body's drooping, I have trouble pooping, The golden years have come at last. The golden years can kiss my ass. -The Cat In The Hat Actually, at 80 every morning is the start of a new adventure; and that's just getting to the bathroom.

...........It casts a spell, it rings a bell ..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..The Magic Touch

^^^^ Bing Crosby's Swinging on a Star was number one. It was on the Billboard chart athe #1 for 9 weeks, and on the chart at various other ranks for a total of 28 weeks. Over 1,000,000 records had been sold. ~~#2 ws Bing Crosby and the Andrew Sisters singing Don't Fence Me In.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I will rise again, like a phoenix that tripped over an extension cord, hurt its shoulder, and then awkwardly stood up. --High Church Coyote

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CyPhaCon 2024 (5-7, Lake Charles, LA) 110+ hours of original panels and programming...CYPHACON – CYPHACON 2024

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Forest Biology and Biotechnology (ICFBAB) (4/2, San Francisco, CA) Upcoming San Francisco Conferences 2024: Leading Events (internationalconferencealerts.com)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: IRON — Ir (iridium), O (oxygen), N (nitrogen) & SILVER — Si (silicon), Lv (livermorium), Er (erbium).

Reaching the 80^th year of life in itself is a humongous feat that must be cherished with the utmost zing. OR There is no virtue in growing old; it just takes a long time. --Robert Heinlein. Actually, it could be worse. If I were a dog I'd be 560.

..........First the tide rushes in; plants a kiss on the shore ..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..Ebb Tide

^^^^^ Franklin D Roosevent and Harry S Truman beat Thomas E Dewey and John W Bricker. FDR got 432 electoral votes to Dewey 99. Popular vote: FDR 25,612,916 to TED 22,017 929.

ePistle History of the Week: The ePistle turns 25 this year...I think. Joyce and I began it together back then. The first recipients were John & Erin Garlinghouse who had moved north of the arctic circle. It started by snail mail. This was sometime before 2001. The songs were whatever we were listening to while we wrote. I'm not sure when it got the name ePistle. The next ePistlier was Tad Hoff and then I lost track. I don't know what time of year any of these things happened either. So it's just the “Silver Anniversary” and it lasts all year.

Quote of the Week: Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience. --Dorothy Parker The Portable Dorothy Parker was published in 1944.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't understand how a cemetery can raise funeral prices and blame it on the high cost of living. --Submitted by sw of kc

Today's Peace of History, April 5, 1911: From 100,000 to 500,000 people marched in New York City to attend the funeral of seven unidentified victims of the Triangle Shirtwaist Company fire in late March.

Unfortunately, at this age “getting lucky: means making it home before my hip gives out. Actually, turning 80 is a lot like turning 40 with twice the cake.

..........Heavenly shades of night are falling ..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..Twilight Time

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, 2024, ePistle 80. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: The happiest people are those who do the most for others. --Booker T Washington

Cost of War:

As of 04/04/24 State Department Costs: $232,815,636,279.
As of 03/28/24 State Department Costs: $232,264,002,368.
As of 04/04/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,209,381,704,390.
As of 03/28/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,207,843,720,226.
As of 04/04/24 Homeland Security: $1,164,892,923,413.
As of 03/28/24 Homeland Security: $1,163,994,826,464.
As of 04/04/24 Veterans Care: $3,592,684,963,426.
As of 03/28/24 Veterans Care: $3,581,026,863,244.
As of 04/04/24 Military Costs: $3,077,919,663,375.
As of 03/28/24 Military Costs: $3,076,751,925,305.
As of 04/04/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,277,396,947,787.
As of 03/28/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,261,883,045,463.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Health care must be recognized as a right, not a privilege. Every man, woman, and child in our country should be able to access the health care they need regardless of their income. --Bernie Sanders

Famous Last Words: His majesty is acknowledged, etc. --Johann Strauss Die Fledermaus

..........When twilight is gone and no songbirds are singing ..........The Platters with Tony Williams …..My Prayer

At 80 you are forced to admit that your skin has lost its battle with gravity. Actually, the city just installed a traffic sign on my block with a picture of two old people with canes walking across the street.

May Peace grace your wrinkles
And Joy enhance your wisdom
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: