ePistle Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Famous First Words: Voici le pain. (Here is the bread) Thais

It's World Sleep Day ! Now, aren't you glad yo got up for that? I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed. / Fall Asleep Faster: play that tape of last Sunday's sermon.

..........The gentle sweet singing of leaves in the wind........Heart …..Crazy On You

50 ways to promote peace #20: Call out people when you see them being sexist, racist, etc.

It is a damp Friday morning. The sky is a flat gray with little texture or variation. The light rain seems to be blowing in my face rather than falling to the ground. The wind is strong and whips the treetops (still bare) into an enthusiastic frenzy. The birds have not yet gathered at the feeders but I hear them in the little wood across the street and in the nearer trees. I see them fly across the grayness. Puck has found a squirrel next door and is explaining to it why it should not come to his yard. There is little traffic and so little motor noise but the wind in the limbs and around the corners adds to the early soundtrack. The air smells of damp ground and wet cement. It conjures thoughts of spring; but the grass is still mostly brown and yellow and the bushes are bare. It has not rained enough to make mud puddles. The wind and the 49°F temperature drive us indoors for dry and warm. Puck drinks his morning cup of milk and settles down to nap. I drink my adulterated Moose Munch – artificially sweetened and really creamed – enjoying the warmth as well as the flavor and settle down to write to you. What a great morning.

Hope your weekend leaves you rested and refreshed, ePistliers.

Sleep is for people without access to the internet. / I already want to take a nap tomorrow. / Fall Asleep Faster: decorate your boudoir like a school room.

..........If the real thing don't do the trick..........Heart …..Barracuda

Trivia Questions: Happy Panda Day !

^ What is the average lifespan of the giant panda?

^^ Have you heard the legend of how the panda came to have their coloring?

^^^ Do you know anything about red pandas?

^^^^ Do you happen to remember the names of the Pandas given to Nixon by China?

^^^^^ Would you care to guess how many giant pandas there are left in the world?

Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Some days you eat salads and go to the gym, some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. It's called balance. --submitted by sd of ks

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: A tattoo on a librarian's back is called a spine label. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

I love sleep. My life tends to fall apart whenever I'm awake. / My hobbies include sleeping and wanting to be asleep.

..........You know I always get by.........Heart …..I've Got The Music In Me

Moonbeam: The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted. --James Madison

Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: hāai - Mon (Thailand & Myanmar) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Week of the Week: Shakespeare Week (March 12-18) –How indecisive are you on a scale of 1 to Hamlet? / Now is the Winter of our Discount Tent

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. / Doctor, can you prescribe something to stop me from sleepwalking? No, you need the exercise.

..........You know I can't resist.........Heart …..Down On Me

^ The life span of giant pandas in the wild is approximately 20 years. Captive pandas may live to be 25-30 years old.

Almanac: It is Friday, March 16, 2018. The moon will be new tomorrow and is in Pisces. It is Black Press Day, Campfire Girls Day, Freedom of Information Day, Goddard Day, Lips Appreciation Day, National Day of Action Against Bullying and Violence, No Selfies Day, Panda Day, St. Urho's Day, and World Sleep Day. In Surinam it is Holi Phagwah and in Umatilla OR it is Curlew Day .

Among those born on this day were James Madison (1751), Matthew Flinders (1774), Georg Ohm (1787), Rosa Bonheur (1822), William Monk (1823), Rene Francois Armand Sully Prudhomme (1839), Maxim Gorki (1868), Harrison Ford (1884), Walter Shafer (1901), Henny Youngman (1906), Patricia Nixon (1912), Jerry Lewis (Joseph Levitch, 1926), Vladimir Komarov (1927), Don Richard Carpenter (1931), Ruth Bader Ginsberg (1933), Chuck Woolery (1942), Kate Nelligan (1951), and Nancy Wilson (Heart, 1954).

On March sixteeneh the state of Rhode Island became a democracy and adopted a new constitution (1621), the Treaty of Vienna was sign by Charles VI of England and the Netherlands (1731), the law establishing West Point Military Academy was signed (1802), Freedom Journal, the US first "black" newspaper began publishing (1827), Arizona Territory voted to leave the Union (1861), the first fertilizer law was enacted (1871), the US Senate ratified a treaty establishing the Red Cross (1882), Massenet's Thais premiered in Paris (1894), Evans uncovered Knossus (1900), Helen Herron Taft planted the first cherry tree in DC (1912), the Federal Trade Commission was organized (1915), Robert Goddard launched his first liquid fuel rocket (184 feet, 1926), the Migratory Bird Conservation Act was passed (1934), the National Gallery of Art opened (1941), the National Book Awards were first given out (1950), Gemini 8 (Armstrong & Scott) aborted after 6.5 orbits (1966), John and Yoko were served with deportation papers (1972), and the Grand Ole Opry moved to its new home at Opryland (1974).

Night Sky, 3/16: The sky's biggest asterism (informal star pattern) is the Winter Hexagon. It fills the sky toward the south and west right after dark these evenings. Start with brilliant Sirius in its bottom, nearly south. Going clockwise from there, march upper left through Procyon, then up to Pollux and Castor near the zenith. Then head lower right through Menkalinan to bright Capella, lower left to Aldebaran, farther lower left to Orion's foot Rigel, and back to Sirius. Betelgeuse shines inside the Hexagon, below center. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Crash Landed (Tulsa, March 16-18) –A platform for filmmakers, writers, artist and scientists to speak and exchange ideas. http://www.crash-landed.com/

Actual Science Convention of the Week: Quantum Many-Body (March12-16, Stellenbosch, South Africa) Body Systems Far from Equilibrium: Quench Dynamics, Thermalisation, and Many-Body Localisation http://www.aps.org/meetings/meeting.cfm?name=QDT18

This Week: Saturday, March 17 – Worldwide Quilting Day & Play the Recorder Day

Sunday, March 18 – Awkward Moments Day & National Biodiesel Day

Night Sky, 3/18: As the turn of spring approaches (spring begins on March 20th this year), watch the low east-northeast for the rise of the "Spring Star," Arcturus. Find the Big Dipper high in the northeast and follow the curve of its handle around down, by a little more than a Dipper-length, to see where Arcturus will be.

Monday, March 19 – Goddess of Fertility Day & National Poultry Day

Tuesday, March 20 – Alien Abduction Day & International Day of Happiness

Night Sky, 3/20: Mercury and Venus glow low in the evening twilight due west. Jupiter is visible a good 2 1/2 hours before sunrise. Nepture is hidden behind the glare of the sun. Spring Equinox

Wednesday, March 21 – International Colour Day & World Memory Day

Thursday, March 22 – National Goof-Off Day & As Young As You Feel Day

Night Sky, 3/22: Mars and Saturn rise in the pre-dawn hours. Mars, on the right drawing closer to Saturn. Jupiter rises around midnight. Uranus is sinking away in the west at nightfall

I like sleeping because it's like being dead without the commitment. / With wireless sleep technology, the people in my dreams can send email to the people in your dreams.

..........Laughing to the sky.........Heart …..Dog and Butterfly

^^ According to legend, the panda was once an all-white bear. When a small girl tried to save a panda cub from being attacked by a leopard, the leopard killed the girl instead. Pandas came to her funeral wearing armbands of black ashes. As they wiped their eyes, hugged each other, and covered the ears, they smudged the black ashes.

Best Picture I Saw of the Week:

Stephen Hawking protesting the War in Vietnam (with Vanessa Redgrave) Submitted by rbh of ks ~~He looks like Harry Potter, but then so do the two guys to his right.

Next Funniest Thing I read of the Week: Cats have 32 muscles in each ear to help them ignore you. --Submitted by dr of oh

Moonbeam: The point of departure must always be a vision of the truth. The eye is the route of the soul, and the pencil or brush must sincerely and naively reproduce what it sees. --Rosa Bonheur

Late Night Snacks: In the Northeast, 1 million people are without power because of a blizzard. And in Wisconsin, 1 million people are without power because of gerrymandering. --Conan O'Brien / In honor of International Women’s Day, Mattel is releasing a set of Barbies based on history-making women, like Amelia Earhart and Olympic gold medalist Chloe Kim. It’s called the Way Too Good for Ken Collection. --Jimmy Fallon / Apple’s new futuristic headquarters, Apple Park in Cupertino, California, is having some problems. The building is filled with so much clear glass that employees have reportedly been walking into glass walls. I guess Apple shouldn’t have installed windows. --James Corden / Law experts are saying that some of the language in adult film star Stormy Daniels' nondisclosure agreement suggests that she may have some lurid photos that were taken during their sexual encounters. Said Drumpf, "Fake nudes!" --Seth Meyers / Of (Oscar) 24 awards, women won only six. What happened? Did the women blow all their lady points on the first female Colonel Sanders this year? I mean, it's a milestone, but still. --Stephen Colbert

Not So Late Night Snacks: Stormy Daniels. It's so bizarre. When they make a documentary about the Trump era someone will have to make a non-porn parody --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me

50 ways to promote peace #19: Advocate peace with T-shirts, bumper stickers, patches, etc.

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police. / If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

..........No cliches or tired rhymes.........Heart …..Language of Love

^^^ The red panda and the giant panda share the same habitat and diet, and both animals are also endangered. However, scientific tests show that the red panda is in the raccoon family while the giant panda is in the bear family. Some scientists believe that the giant panda is so special that it should belong to its own family group.

Worthless Fact of the Week: DC Cherry Trees: Plans to cut down the cherry trees on the proposed site of the Jefferson Memorial led to objections from local civic groups, hotel trade associations, and women's clubs. Groups chained themselves to the trees to disrupt workmen in November 1938. As a compromise trees were transplanted and added on the south side of the basin to frame the Memorial.

Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Pi Day is just a fake holiday created by math companies to sell more math. --Submitted by st of ar

Weird Word of the Week: Biomusicologist – searches for the origins of music in human beings and tries to tease out what evolutionary advantage it gave us...http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-bio1.htm

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Preserve flowers. Mix one part 20 mule Team Borax and two parts corn meal. Fill the bottom inch of an empty airtight canister with the mixture. Place the flower on the mixture, then gently cover the flower with more mixture, being careful not to crush the flower or distort the petals. Flowers with a lot of overlapping petals, such as roses and carnations, are best treated by sprinkling mixture directly into the blossom before placing them into the box. Seal the canister and store at room temperature in a dry place for seven to ten days. When the flowers are dried, pour off the mixture and dust the flowers with a soft artist's brush. Borax removes the moisture from blossoms and leaves, preventing the wilting which would normally result. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/20muleteam.html

It hurts when someone you love says mean things...like...”Time to get up”. / I sleep better naked, but the flight attendant didn't understand that.

...........In a disbelieving world.........Heart …..Bright Light Girl

^^^^ After Richard Nixon visited China in 1972, he received two pandas from the Chinese leader, Chairman Mao. The two pandas, Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing, were placed in the National Zoo in Washington D.C. More than 1 million people visited them during their first year there.

Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Undress – to take one's clothes off Taming of the Shrew Scene II Sly: Madam, undress you and come now to bed.

Neat Thing on the Internet of the Week: Here is some live footage of the Lawrence High School Wrap the Walk last Wednesday: https://www.facebook.com/amber.b.fraley/videos/10155427663551463/

Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's Cy, workhorse of the crime-fighting dog-detectives, ignoring the case of the Invisible Icelandic to suggest it's time to spring clean the fairy garden.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Sometimes I let her sleep. / It may be true that drinking coffee means you can't sleep, but then if you're sleeping you can't drink coffee.

..........You might need it someday.........Heart …..What About Love

^^^^^ Giant pandas are on the brink of extinction, with just over 1,000 pandas left in the world. Scientists are hoping to increase the wild panda population to 5,000 by 2025.

Month of the Week: March is National Craft Month – Whoever said Disneyland was the happiest place on earth has clearly never been to Michael's. FYI: Glitter is always an option.

Most Beautiful Thing in the State: Zion National Park, Utah –follow the paths where ancient native people and pioneers walked. Gaze up at massive sandstone cliffs of cream, pink, and red that soar into a brilliant blue sky... https://www.nps.gov/zion/index.htm

Today's Peace of History, March 16,1827: The first newspaper owned and edited by and for African-Americans, Freedom's Journal, was published in New York City. It appeared the same year slavery was abolished in New York state.

Today's Peace of Librarian History, March 16, 1972: Reference librarian Zoia Horn refused to testify against the Harrisburg Seven who were on trial for an alleged conspiracy to kidnap then-National Security Adviser Henry Kissinger. Horn had been implicated by an ex-convict informer placed in the Bucknell University library by the FBI.

I didn't sleep much last night, but I got in a few solid hours of worrying. / Dragons sleep during the day so they can fight knights.

..........No alibis nor more regrets.........Heart …..My Crazy Head

Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle March 16,ePistle zZzzzzzz 2018. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Peace, Love, and Sleep. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046

Moonbeam: I feel there's enough seriousness in the world without seeing it in the theater. --Pat Nixon

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: People need to start respecting the flag...of the government I'm stockpiling arms against. Schrödinger's Patriot --Roy Zimmerman

Cost of War:

Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 3/15/18: $800,947,138,443.

Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 3/8/18: $800,301,950,127.

Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 3/15/18: $821,340,733,923.

Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 3/8/18: $821,321,877,425.

Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 3/15/18: 1,822,450,651,441.

Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 3/8/18: 1,821,103,475,540.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

50 ways to promote peace #18: Learn mediation/conflict resolution skills. http://uncustomary.org/50-ways-promote-peace/

..........A smile in the hall – framed on the wall.........Heart …..The Perfect Goodbye

Camping is great for when you're craving a horrible night's sleep. / When I sleep they call me Lazurus because it takes an act of God to raise me.

Famous Last Words: ...and a thing of wonder. – The Icebreaker by Maxim Gorky

May Peace be your pillow

And Joy be your blanket

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: 

ePistle Eaves

Famous First Words: Mother says that when I start talking I never know when to stop. --Ring Lardner The Golden Honeymoon

Happy Women in Construction Week (4-10)!! This arrogant young guy has recently started work at a construction site and ever since he started he's been bragging that he could outdo anyone based on his superior strength. He's been making fun of one of the only woman on the site in particular. Eventually, the woman has had enough and says, "Tell you what - why don't you put your money where your mouth is? I'll bet you a week's wages that I can take something over to that other building in this wheelbarrow and you won't be able to wheel it back." The young guy laughs confidently, "You're on. Let's see what you've got." So the woman grabs the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, she nods to the young man and says with a smile, "Alright. Get in."

..........That's all he sees, he paints a tree.........John Cale …..The Trouble With Classicists

50 Ways to Promote Peace, #23: Take a break from watching the news when you need to

It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sky is lightly smeared with thin clouds and blown apart jet trails which do not hide the azure of the space above. Below this willowy white, birds of all sizes and sounds are busy. A crow without his murder mounts from tree to power line to midair marking his route in heavy wing strokes and throaty cries. A clan of robins claim two trees and discuss their morning before ascending on the lawn and a quarrel of sparrows sing matins behind me. The world is winter brown although here and there crocus and daffodil leave search of light; still browns and golds dominate. However, Cy's toys litter the backyard like brightly colored, oddly shaped Easter eggs on the roll. Puck checks the perimeter and sits staring at the world until he finds some small thing at which to bark. It adds to the birdsong that comes now from every direction. Cars drive by on their way to work, no doubt. The drivers often look distracted and they are only a block from home. A light breeze wafts by smelling of soil and dampness. It reminds us that the temperature has not yet risen above freezing and my fingers insist I go in a wrap them around a warm cup of coffee. And so we do. Puck drinks a small bowl of milk and crashes. I sit holding my steaming cup of Moose Munch letting it warm my hands and my nose, letting it coat my mouth with sweet flavor, and letting it remind me of the ePistle and of you.

Hope your weekend leans left of plumb, ePistliers.

Last night I watched a documentary about women steel workers during WWII. It was riveting. / Know how lady construction workers party? They raise the roof.

..........Dizzy from turning their backs.........John Cale …..Russian Roulette

Trivia Questions: Happy Middle Name Pride Day! Here are some middle names – can you give the first and last?

^ A crook: Milhouse

^^ Second generation actor: William Frederick Dempsey George Rufus

^^^ British rocker: Hercules

^^^^ Jazz musician, composer, producer, actor: Delight

^^^^^ Friend: Bass

Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I think, therefore, I've had my coffee. --Submitted by nm of ks

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: When filling out your next job application, remember that owning 2 or more cats for 3 or more years is equal to one year of supervisory experience in a library https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Being a female construction worker is a lot like Christmas...you end up doing all the work and a guy in a suit gets all the credit.

..........I'll be the wind, the rain, and the sunset.........Velvet Underground …..I'll Be Your Mirror

Moonbeam: Now I'm not an author, I'm a writer, that's all I am. Authors want their names down in history; I want to keep the smoke coming out of the chimney. --Mickey Spillane

Something to Think About of the Week:

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Cleveland ConCoction 2018 ...for all things Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Gaming, Filk and fun! March 9-11 – Cleveland, OH) http://www.clevelandconcoction.org/

Actual Science Convention of the Week: Pacific Operational Science & Technology Conference (March 5-9, Honolulu, Hawai'i) Transitioning Technology into Capability with our Indo-Asia-Pacific Warfighters and Partners... https://events.techconnect.org/POST/

Big Hello: Gwe' – Mikmaq (Canada & the US) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Week of the Week: Professional Pet Sitter Week (March 4-10) – I was sitting Katherine's dog but he would chase anyone on a bike. It was awful. Eventually I called Kat and she suggested I take his bike away.

Two carpenters, Debra and Ellen, were working and Debra, up on a scaffold accidentally cut off her ear. She yelled down to Ellen…”Hey! look our for my ear I just cut off!” In a little bit Ellen calls up to Debra, ” is this your ear?” Debra looks down and says “Naw! Mine had a pencil behind it!”

..........Looked in the mirror, nobody there.........John Cale …..Mothra

^ Richard Milhouse Nixon

Almanac: It is Friday, March 9, 2018. The moon is last quarter today and is in Sagittarius. It is Barbie Day, Get Over It Day, Joe Franklin Day, Panic Day, and Shabbat Across America/Canada. New Mexico celebrates Arbor Day. In Belize it is Baron Bliss Day and in the Ukraine it is Taras Shevchenko (Ukrainian poet, 1814) Day. Because it is the Friday of the first full week it is also Middle Name Pride Day.

Among those born on this day were Amerigo Vespucci (1454), David Fabricius (1564), Jean-Baptiste Kléber (1753), Ring Lardner (Ringgold, 1885), Vyacheslav Mikhailovich Molotov (1890), Will Greer (1902), Mickey Spillane (Frank Morrison, 1918), Marie Cardinal (1929), Yuri Gagarin (1934), Glenda Jackson (1936), John Cale (1942), Bobby Fischer (1943), Faith Daniels (1957), and Barbie (1959).

On March nineth, Sweden & Russia signed the Peace of Stolbowa (1617), Napoleon married Josephine (1796), Graham patented artifical teeth (1822), the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were founded (1873), the Bolsheviks became The Communist Party (1918), Italy annexed Fiume (1924), Josef Stalin was buried (1953), the first Ford Mustang was produced (1964), and female cadets were first accepted at West Point (1976).

Night Sky, 3/9: In the early dawn of Saturday, the Moon forms a low, flat triangle with Mars and Saturn http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

This Week: Saturday, March 10 – International Bagpipe Day & Land Line Telephone Day

Sunday, March 11 – Johnny Appleseed Day & Check Your Batteries Day & World Plumbing Day

Daylight Savings Time begins.....Spring forward

Monday, March 12 – Fill Our Staplers Day & Napping Day

Night Sky, 3/12: Bright Sirius stands due south on the meridian just after twilight fades away into night. Sirius is the bottom star of the equilateral Winter Triangle. The other two stars of the Triangle are orange Betelgeuse to Sirius's upper right (Orion's shoulder) and Procyon to Sirius's upper left.

Tuesday, March 13 – Organize Your Home Office Day & National Open An Umbrella Indoors Day

Wednesday, March 14 – Pi Day & International Ask A Question Day

Thursday, March 15 – Ides of March & World Consumer Rights Day & True Confessions Day

Night Sky, 3/15: On the traditional divide between the winter and spring sky lies the dim constellation Cancer. It's between Gemini to its west and Leo to its east. Cancer holds something unique: the Beehive Star Cluster, M44, in its middle. The Beehive shows dimly to the naked eye if you have little or no light pollution. With binoculars it's easy, even under worse conditions. Look for it a little less than halfway from Pollux in Gemini to Regulus in Leo.

I used to date a steam-roller driver. She was such a flatterer.

..........When I'm rushing on my run.........Velvet Underground …..Heroin

^^ Kiefer William Frederick Dempsey George Rufus Sutherland

'Nother Funniest thing I read of the Week:No one who has ever sat through a faculty meeting wants to arm teachers. --Submitted by jm of k

Moonbeam: “I resolved to abandon trade and to fix my aim on something more praiseworthy and stable; whence it was that I made preparation for going to see part of the world and its wonders.” --Amerigo Vespucci

Late Night Snacks: In a fashion show that took place yesterday, Dolce & Gabbana sent their handbags down the runway on drones instead of models. But first, each drone was forced to lose 10 pounds. --Conan O'Brien / The big winner this year is Norway. They won a record 39 medals, wow — or one for each person who lives in Norway. --Jimmy Fallon / To celebrate last year’s NBA championship, the Golden State Warriors are reportedly meeting with local children in Washington, DC, instead of visiting President Drumpf in the White House. When they heard that, every foreign leader scheduled to meet with Drumpf was like, “Wait, you can do that?” --James Corden / If there's one takeaway from the last few weeks of politics, it's this: Don't F**k with Teachers. They make no money, they get up at 6 am to drive their 15 year-old cars to a cruddy buiding knee-deep in teenage hormones. You can't scare them. The part of them that is capable of fear was burned away years ago by terrible teachers' lounge coffee. And all they want is health care, a livable wage and, just once, a class that doesn't laugh the first time they hear the world "Uranus". --Seth Meyers

Not So Late Night Snacks: Hope Hicks, the press aide, who Donald Trump reputedly thought of as a daughter, which wouldn't be at all creepy if it wasn't him saying that...announced she was leaving this week. It was a day after she admitted to a House committee that she, quote, "told white lies for the president," you know, harmless things, like - things like, good job, Mr. President. You look great, Mr. President. Oh, wow, Mr. President, I guess you beat me in Candyland again. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me

50 Ways to Promote Peace, #22: Stay abreast of current events http://uncustomary.org/50-ways-promote-peace/

Jane was a really lousy roofer. She kept eavesdropping.

..........holding on to what you've got.........John Cale …..Scotland Yard

^^^ Elton Hercules John

Worthless Facts of the Week: In 1918, when the Bolsheviks became the ruling party of Russia, they changed their organization's name to the All-Russian Communist Party; it was renamed the All-Union Communist Party in 1925 after the founding of the USSR and finally to the Communist Party of the Soviet Union in 1952.

Weird Word of the Week: Agnotology – the study of culturally induced ignorance. Agnotology refocuses questions about “how we know” to include questions about what we do not know, and why not. --Londa Schiebinger, in the Proceedings of the American Philosophical Society, 1 Sep. 2005. http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-agn1.htm

Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Calvinist Dog Corrects Owner: No one is a good boy! --submitted by mja of ks

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make a chocolate bowl. Simply inflate the Trojan Condom to the size of grapefruit. Melt four ounces of Hershey's Baking Chocolate, and one once Land O Lakes Butter together and put in a bowl, dip the balloon in about half way, swaying the balloon side to side and back and forth. Sit the balloon on a piece of Cut-Rite Wax Paper, let dry, then use a pair of scissors to snip a hole in the condom to slowly deflate. Peel off the condom and you have a chocolate bowl to fill with sweets. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/trojan.html ~~And with that image in your mind, let me assure you that this is the last of the condom make-dos.

                    

...........Take a drag or two.........Velvet Underground …..Run, Run, Run

^^^^ Quincy Delight Jones

Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Tranquil – free from disturbance, calm. Othello Act III, Scene III Othello: O, now, for ever farewell the tranquil mind! Farewell content!

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You know you're a bad driver when Siri says, “In 400 feet, stop and let me out.”

Internet Science of the Week: Fantastic Foamy Fountain aka Elephant Toothpaste: https://sciencebob.com/fantastic-foamy-fountain/

Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck before his spring haircut keeping an eye on Cy in the case of the Constructive Continental.

Barbara welds girders during skyscraper construction. She wears a pink t-shirt that says: Welding is like Sewing with Fire.

..........The empty voice that speaks.........John Cale …..Antarctica Starts Here

^^^^^ Courtney Bass Cox

Month of the Week: March is International Ideas Month --I was having such trouble making up my mind, I finally put lipstick on my forehead.

Most Beautiful Thing in the State: Santa Elena Canyon, Big Bend National Park, Texas. This canyon is one of the most popular choices in the area for those wishing to take a leisurely kayak, canoe, or raft downstream. The tall cliffs reach up to 1,000 ft. (305m), creating a stark contrast with the low rapids, and you can camp along your way as well. Lots of Pictures

Today's Peace of History, March 9, 1839: The US Supreme Court, with only one dissent, freed the slaves who had seized the Spanish slave ship Amistad, ruling that they had been illegally forced into slavery, and thus were free under American law.

Carrie was sorry she named her construction company Tetris. Every time they finished a section of the building, it disappeared.

..........of rags and silks, a costume.........Velvet Underground …..All Tomorrows Parties

Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle March 22, 2018. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Constructionettes and Peace, What a Combination. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046

Moonbeam: If you haven't met God on earth, you won't find him in space. --Yuri Gagarin

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Breaking: International Women's Day 2018 has been moved to Tuesday, November 6^th. Please participate ay your local polling place.

Cost of War:

Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 3/8/18: $800,301,950,127.

Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 3/1/18: $799,587,029,407.

Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 3/8/18: $821,321,877,425.

Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 3/1/18: $821,300,983,335.

Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 3/8/18: 1,821,103,475,540.

Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 3/1/18: 1,819,610,288,920.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

50 Ways to Promote Peace, #21: Spend time in nature.

..........Hey, hey hey, bye, bye, bye.........Velvet Underground …..European Son

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that they take the pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked all last week with a construction crew building a house." "My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?" The little girl replied, "I will if those useless losers at Home Depot ever deliver the damned drywall."

Famous Last Words: Here comes Mother, so I guess I better shut up. --Ring Lardner The Golden Honeymoon

May Peace build your walls

And Joy raise your roof

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Bissel the ePistle

Famous First Words: Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America, in Congress assembled... An Act regulating passenger ships and vessels March 2, 1819

Have A Humpf-humpf-a-dumpfer of a Dr. Seuss Day!!! If Dr. Seuss wrote technical manuals: If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icons put your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted ’cause the index doesn’t hash, then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gonna crash!

..........Leave the noise and the crowds and get a breath of fresh air.........Cowsills …..Gotta Get Away From It All

50 ways to promote peace #26: Engage in random acts of kindness on a regular basis. http://uncustomary.org/50-ways-promote-peace/

It is a bright Friday morning. Without much of a breeze, the 28°F temperature feels warmer than its quantitative number. The sky is littered with small puffy clouds reflecting pink from the rising sun; a round yellow moon is setting in the west. Birds are talking with many voices – deep caw of the crows, quarreling chirps of the sparrows, and whistling chants from an unseen, unknown species in the little wood across the street. There is lots of noise this morning, motors near and far, Puck discussing morning news with the silent critter under the storage shed, and barking of dogs across the neighborhood. Two robins fly high into the bare maple across the street adding a small, brilliant burst to the winter palette; they put to shame the fat robin in the lower branches whose red seems more like brown in the slanty light of daybreak. Puck finishes his one sided visit with Opah! the Opossum and rejects stalking the rest of the perimeter. So we stand awhile breathing in the cold dawn air watching the morning wake up. But eventually the call of coffee draws me inside and Puck comes happily ready for his early, early nap. Now I sit with a cup of sweetened Moose Munch. It steams into my nose warming it and conjuring fleeting reminisces of exotic and familiar flavors; and it warms my mouth and leads me to believe this will be a wonderful day.

Have a ga-fluppted weekend, ePistliers.

If Dr. Seuss wrote technical manuals: If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

..........Oh, what a day to be here.........Bon Jovi …..Beautiful Day

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to Standardized Weights and Measures !!

^ Which article of the US Constitution grants the government power to regular weights and measures?

^^ Even harder, what predecessor of the the US Constitution granted standardization?

^^^ Stupid Question: what government agency handles weight and measure issues?

^^^^ Which system of measures does the US use?

^^^^^ Are you old enough to remember in which decade the US tried to convert to metric?

Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If teachers have to carry guns, presidents should have to read books. --Submitted by ma of wv / Will sharp shooter librarians be required to use silencers? --Submitted by bg of ks

Correction of the Week: The quote should have read: 4 million 13 year old in 2013 who will be eligible to vote this year... Sorry.

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 10.4% of librarians actually know which tax forms you need. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

If Seuss translated the Bible: 'Good golly, how jolly! How funny,' said God - 'How strangishly strange and how oddishly odd! You're fighting and biting and smiting again - It's time I demanded commandments of ten!

..........Suddenly the sun broke through.........Cowsills …..The Rain, The Park and Other Things

Moonbeam: A leader is someone who helps improve the lives of other people or improves the system they live under. --Sam Houston

Something to Think About of the Week:  

Big Hello: Bonzur – Mauritian Creole https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Week of the Week: National Cheerleading Week (March 1-7) --What is a cheerleader's favorite color? Yeller! / What is a cheerleader's favourite cereal? Cheerios.

If Seuss translated the Bible: Be honest, contented, and pleased with your load - Don't weep full of woe for the wealth that you're 'owed; Be happy and clappy and merry in mind - Be spriteful, delightful, and kindly-inclined!

..........We're two paychecks away from living out on the streets.........Bon Jovi …..Hey, God

^ US Constitution: Article 1, Section 8, Paragraph 5: To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures.

Almanac: It is Friday, March 2, 2018. The moon is full (Worm) today and is in Virgo. It is Dr. Seuss Day and World Day of Prayer. In Burma it is Peasant's Day while both Texas 1836 and Morocco 1956 celebrate Independence Day. Becasue it is the First Friday in March it is Dress in Blue Day, Employee Appreciation Day, National Salesperson Day, and National Speech and Debate Education Day. Because it is the (sic) First Friday followed by a Saturday it it National Day of Unplugging. Finally, because it is the nearest school day to Dr. Seuss's Birthday it is NEA's Read Across America Day.

Among those born on this day were Robert II (Scotland, 1316), John II (France, 1409), Adrian VI (1459), Sam Houston (1793), Bedrich Smetana (1824), Kurt J Weill (1900), Theodor Geisel (1904), Mel Ott (1909), Desi Arnaz (1917), Jennifer Jones (Phyllis Isley, 1919) Doc Watson (1923), Mikhail Gorbachev (1931), Howard Hopalong Cassady (1934), John Irving (1942), Jay Osmond (1955), John Cowsill and Mark Evans (1956), and Jon Bon Jovi (Bongiovi, 1962).

On March second Vasco da Gama's fleet visited Mozambique (1498), Pennsylvania lifted the ban on theatrical performances (1789), Congress standardized US weights & measures (1799), Congress banned slave trade (effective 1/1/1808, 1807), the US passed its first immigration law (1819), Texas declared independence from Mexico (1836), Aleksandr Romanov became tsar of Russia (1855), the Freedman's Bureau was founded for the education of negores (1865), Howard University was established (1867), Congress created the Department of Education (1867), the University of Illinois opened (1868), baseball adopted the batter's box (1874), Hayes was elected president (1876), Puerto Rico was deemed a territory and US citizenship was granted to its residents (1917), Time magazine debutted (1923), Mexico nationalized the oil fields (1937), Ho Chi Minh was elected president of North Vietnam (1946), Silly Putty was invented (1950), Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in an NBA game (1962), Pioneer 10 was launched (flew by Jupiter, 1972), the final episode of MASH aired (1983), and Soyuz TM-24 returned to Earth (1997).

Night Sky, 3/2: Check in on Jupiter's unusually red Great Red Spot with your telescope before dawn tomorrow. The GRS should cross Jupiter's central meridian around 5:12 am CST. Features on Jupiter remain closer to the planet's central meridian than to the limb for nearly an hour before and after they transit. You'll also find Ganymede's tiny black shadow crossing Jupiter's face from 3:29 to 5:15 am CST.http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: MarsCon 2018 – Robots, Rayguns, and Rockets (The 3 R's of Sci-Fi) Bloomington, MN, March 3-4.https://marscon.org/2018/

Actual Science Convention of the Week: Targeting DNA Methylation and Chromatin for Cancer Therapy – Atlanta, GA, March 1-4.https://www.nature.com/natureevents/science/events/65215-Targeting_DNA_Methylation_and_Chromatin_for_Cancer_Therapy

This Week: Saturday, March 3 – I Want You To Be Happy Day & National Mulled Wine Day

Night Sky, 3/3: Soon after sunset, use binoculars to start looking for Venus and Mercury together just above the west horizon. This is the evening when they appear closest together.

Sunday, March 4 – March Forth, Do Something Day & Holy Experiment Day

Monday, March 5 – World Tennis Day

Tuesday, March 6 – Peace Corps Day & Unique Names Day

Night Sky, 3/6: Now that it's early March, the Big Dipper rises as high in the northeast as Cassiopeia has descended to in the northwest quite soon after dark. Midway between them, as always, is Polaris.

Wednesday, March 7 – National Be Heard Day & Day for Women's Rights & International Peace

Night Sky, 3/7: This is the time of year when Orion stands straight upright due south as the stars come out. Later in the night, and later in the month, he begins his long tilt down toward the west.

Thursday, March 8 – International Women's Day aka International Working Women's Day

If Seuss translated the Bible: But the Angel said "No! Make that snake go away! Tell that Snake in the bush you don't want him to stay. He should not be here. He should not be about. He should not be here When Jehovah is out!"

..........We understand and sympathize this state of mind you're in.........Cowsills …..Mister Flynn

^^ The Articles of Confederation gave the central government "the sole and exclusive right and power of...fixing the Standard of Weights and Measures throughout the United States." Article IX, Section 4.

Next Funniest thing I read of the Week: Can I opt out of having a gun in my classroom if I have bone spurs?

Moonbeam: I think that writers are, at best, outsiders to the society they inhabit. They have a kind of detachment, or try to have. --John Irving

Late Night Snacks: The president's son-in-law and adviser, Jared Kushner, had his security clearance downgraded today. This means he won't have access to a lot of top-secret documents. So I guess now Drumpf AND Kushner won't be reading the daily intelligence briefing. Here's how far Kushner was downgraded – he's not even allowed to use the Drumpf family HBO GO password anymore. --James Corden / Drumpf also tweeted Russia is laughing their asses off at us. Which is true. They have been laughing their asses off since November 2016. They have been laughing so hard they have no asses left. --Jimmy Kimmel / Yes, Drumpf never said to give guns to teachers willy-nilly, he tweeted about arming “weapons-talented” teachers. I mean, can you imagine what this country would be like if anyone could get a gun? --Stephen Colbert / President Drumpf today endorsed Senator Ted Cruz for re-election ahead of next week's Republican primary in Texas. And when he heard that, Ted Cruz smiled so big eight babies started crying. --Seth Meyers / President Drumpf is expected to announce he's running for re-election in 2020. Yep, he's even got a great slogan: "Pretend the last four years never happened." --Jimmy Fallon / The Las Vegas airport has asked passengers to dispose of their marijuana in a special box. In a related story at Las Vegas airport today, Willie Nelson was found hiding in a box. --Conan O'Brien

Not So Late Night Snacks: As everyone knows Adam Rippon is the first openly gay male Olympian which is both heartwarming and groundbreaking and a little surprizing I mean the sparkly suits were kind of a give away, guys. --Peter Sagal And he also said being a gay athlete is the same as straight athlete but with better eyebrows. --Faith Salie Wait Wait Don't Tell Me

50 ways to promote peace #25: Create a safe space/sanctuary in your home.

If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star, So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast , but still the trip will last and last. We'll have two days til we arrive but can the Indrans there survive? Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine. LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline! Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go! Please make it so, please make it so!

..........This is your life, you made it this far.........Bon Jovi …..Welcome to Wherever You Are

^^^ Weights and Measures Division, Gaithersburg, MD. The Weights and Measures Division promotes uniformity in US weights and measures laws, regulations, and standards to achieve equity between buyers and sellers in the marketplace.

Worthless Fact of the Week: Alexander Romanov aka Aleksandr II aka Alexander the Liberator sold Alaska to the US in 1867 for $7.2 million.

Weird Word of the Week: Zymurgy – the art or practice of fermentation. Unsurprisingly, it is best know within the fields of wine making and brewing.http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-zai1.htm

Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Fashion a tourniquet. Tying a Trojan Condom around a bleeding appendage works as a tourniquet.http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/trojan.html

If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: Worf: The saboteur is in the brig. He's very strong and very big. I had my phaser set on stun – A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!  He would not budge, he would not fall, he would not stun, no, not at all! He changed into a stranger form all soft and purple, round and warm.
...........And how the day is so much fun.........Cowsills  …..We Can Fly

^^^^ Most of the world uses the "system international" that we call the metric system. The United States uses the "customary system" and is the only major industrialized country that does not require the metric system.

Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Torture – to inflict severe pain on. King Henry VI, Part II, Act 2, Scene 2 Simpcox: Alas, master, I am not able to stand alone; you go about to torture me in vain.

'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I was going to include a time travel joke, but you guys didn't like it.

Science on the Internet of the Week: Create Oobleck and Make It Dance To The Music --Named after a sticky substance in a children’s book by Dr Seuss, Oobleck is a non-Newtonian fluid, which means it can behave as both a solid and a liquid. And when placed on a sound source, the vibrations causes the mixture to gloopily dance. http://www.housingaforest.com/dancing-oobleck/

Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck guarding the very strange looking prince in the case of the Komondo Koosh. ~~A dog that looks like it was designed by Dr. Seuss

If Dr. Seuss wrote H P Lovecraft: Why Angell believed the dreams of Cthulhu became obvious when I read file two. He had an account of an earlier date he'd investigated since 1908. The inspector, Legrasse, had uncovered the meaning: In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu lies dreaming. With these few words he unhid what was hidden, and opened the door to a thing long forbidden.

..........There's a voodoo mojo brewing at the go-go.........Bon Jovi …..One Wild Night

^^^^^ 1970s. The U.S. government passed the Metric Conversion Act of 1975, which made the metric system "the preferred system of weights and measures for US trade and commerce." The legislation states that the federal government has a responsibility to assist industry as it voluntarily converts to the metric system, i.e., metrification. This is most evident in US labeling requirements on food products, where SI units are almost always presented alongside customary units. According to the CIA Factbook, the United States is one of three nations (along with Liberia and Burma) that have not adopted the metric system as their official system of weights and measures.

Month of the Week: March is Frozen Food Month --This food is so cold, it's singing “Let It Go” / The four basic food groups – canned, boxed, bagged, and frozen.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just gonna ask them where they're going and catch up with them later. --Mitch Hedberg 50 Great Mitch Hedberg jokes on what would've been his 50^th birthday

Most Beautiful Thing in the State: Smoky Mountains National Park, Tennessee. This beautiful mountain range reaches towering heights of nearly seven-thousand feet, but is famous for its magical, smoky haze. https://smokymountains.com/park/

Today's Peace of History: March 2, 1807: The US Congress sought to end international slave trade by passing an act to make it unlawful “to import or bring into the United States or the territories thereof from any foreign kingdom, place, or country, any negro, mulatto, or person of colour, with intent to hold, sell, or dispose of such negro, mulatto, or person of colour, as a slave, or to be held to service or labour.

If Seuss wrote Star Wars: One droid, two droid, red droid, blue droid. The force is the force, of course, of course.

..........And you see daffodils, peepin' over the hills.........Cowsills …..Indian Lake

Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle March 2, 2018, Bissel the ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Peace, love, and Lorax. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046

Moonbeam: What we need is Star Peace and not Star Wars. --Mikhail Gorbachev

Cost of War: Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 3/1/18: $799,587,029,407.

Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 2/22/18: $798,926,562,826.

Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 3/1/18: $821,300,983,335.

Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 2/22/18: $821,281,680,217.

Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 3/1/18: $1,819,610,288,920.

Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 2/22/18: $1,818,230,988,701. https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

50 ways to promote peace #24: Register to vote (and actually vote!)

..........Remember days of skipping school, racing cars, and being cool.........Bon Jovi …..Never Say Goodbye

If Seuss wrote The Book of Mormon: Of goodly parents I was born; I've never drunk, I've never sworn. This is Lehi, he's my dad. Laman, Lemuel, they are bad. And who is this? Why this is Sam. Yes, this is Sam. Sam I am

Famous Last Words: Good night. Dr. Seuss The Sleep Book

May Peace be a wall against the wind

And Joy be a roof against the rain

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: 
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