Famous First Words: Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America, in Congress assembled... An Act regulating passenger ships and vessels March 2, 1819
Have A Humpf-humpf-a-dumpfer of a Dr. Seuss Day!!! If Dr. Seuss wrote technical manuals: If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icons put your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted ’cause the index doesn’t hash, then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gonna crash!
..........Leave the noise and the crowds and get a breath of fresh air.........Cowsills …..Gotta Get Away From It All
50 ways to promote peace #26: Engage in random acts of kindness on a regular basis. http://uncustomary.org/50-ways-promote-peace/
It is a bright Friday morning. Without much of a breeze, the 28°F temperature feels warmer than its quantitative number. The sky is littered with small puffy clouds reflecting pink from the rising sun; a round yellow moon is setting in the west. Birds are talking with many voices – deep caw of the crows, quarreling chirps of the sparrows, and whistling chants from an unseen, unknown species in the little wood across the street. There is lots of noise this morning, motors near and far, Puck discussing morning news with the silent critter under the storage shed, and barking of dogs across the neighborhood. Two robins fly high into the bare maple across the street adding a small, brilliant burst to the winter palette; they put to shame the fat robin in the lower branches whose red seems more like brown in the slanty light of daybreak. Puck finishes his one sided visit with Opah! the Opossum and rejects stalking the rest of the perimeter. So we stand awhile breathing in the cold dawn air watching the morning wake up. But eventually the call of coffee draws me inside and Puck comes happily ready for his early, early nap. Now I sit with a cup of sweetened Moose Munch. It steams into my nose warming it and conjuring fleeting reminisces of exotic and familiar flavors; and it warms my mouth and leads me to believe this will be a wonderful day.
Have a ga-fluppted weekend, ePistliers.
If Dr. Seuss wrote technical manuals: If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
..........Oh, what a day to be here.........Bon Jovi …..Beautiful Day
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to Standardized Weights and Measures !!
^ Which article of the US Constitution grants the government power to regular weights and measures?
^^ Even harder, what predecessor of the the US Constitution granted standardization?
^^^ Stupid Question: what government agency handles weight and measure issues?
^^^^ Which system of measures does the US use?
^^^^^ Are you old enough to remember in which decade the US tried to convert to metric?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If teachers have to carry guns, presidents should have to read books. --Submitted by ma of wv / Will sharp shooter librarians be required to use silencers? --Submitted by bg of ks
Correction of the Week: The quote should have read: 4 million 13 year old in 2013 who will be eligible to vote this year... Sorry.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 10.4% of librarians actually know which tax forms you need. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
If Seuss translated the Bible: 'Good golly, how jolly! How funny,' said God - 'How strangishly strange and how oddishly odd! You're fighting and biting and smiting again - It's time I demanded commandments of ten!
..........Suddenly the sun broke through.........Cowsills …..The Rain, The Park and Other Things
Moonbeam: A leader is someone who helps improve the lives of other people or improves the system they live under. --Sam Houston
Something to Think About of the Week:
Big Hello: Bonzur – Mauritian Creole https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Week of the Week: National Cheerleading Week (March 1-7) --What is a cheerleader's favorite color? Yeller! / What is a cheerleader's favourite cereal? Cheerios.
If Seuss translated the Bible: Be honest, contented, and pleased with your load - Don't weep full of woe for the wealth that you're 'owed; Be happy and clappy and merry in mind - Be spriteful, delightful, and kindly-inclined!
..........We're two paychecks away from living out on the streets.........Bon Jovi …..Hey, God
^ US Constitution: Article 1, Section 8, Paragraph 5: To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures.
Almanac: It is Friday, March 2, 2018. The moon is full (Worm) today and is in Virgo. It is Dr. Seuss Day and World Day of Prayer. In Burma it is Peasant's Day while both Texas 1836 and Morocco 1956 celebrate Independence Day. Becasue it is the First Friday in March it is Dress in Blue Day, Employee Appreciation Day, National Salesperson Day, and National Speech and Debate Education Day. Because it is the (sic) First Friday followed by a Saturday it it National Day of Unplugging. Finally, because it is the nearest school day to Dr. Seuss's Birthday it is NEA's Read Across America Day.
Among those born on this day were Robert II (Scotland, 1316), John II (France, 1409), Adrian VI (1459), Sam Houston (1793), Bedrich Smetana (1824), Kurt J Weill (1900), Theodor Geisel (1904), Mel Ott (1909), Desi Arnaz (1917), Jennifer Jones (Phyllis Isley, 1919) Doc Watson (1923), Mikhail Gorbachev (1931), Howard Hopalong Cassady (1934), John Irving (1942), Jay Osmond (1955), John Cowsill and Mark Evans (1956), and Jon Bon Jovi (Bongiovi, 1962).
On March second Vasco da Gama's fleet visited Mozambique (1498), Pennsylvania lifted the ban on theatrical performances (1789), Congress standardized US weights & measures (1799), Congress banned slave trade (effective 1/1/1808, 1807), the US passed its first immigration law (1819), Texas declared independence from Mexico (1836), Aleksandr Romanov became tsar of Russia (1855), the Freedman's Bureau was founded for the education of negores (1865), Howard University was established (1867), Congress created the Department of Education (1867), the University of Illinois opened (1868), baseball adopted the batter's box (1874), Hayes was elected president (1876), Puerto Rico was deemed a territory and US citizenship was granted to its residents (1917), Time magazine debutted (1923), Mexico nationalized the oil fields (1937), Ho Chi Minh was elected president of North Vietnam (1946), Silly Putty was invented (1950), Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in an NBA game (1962), Pioneer 10 was launched (flew by Jupiter, 1972), the final episode of MASH aired (1983), and Soyuz TM-24 returned to Earth (1997).
Night Sky, 3/2: Check in on Jupiter's unusually red Great Red Spot with your telescope before dawn tomorrow. The GRS should cross Jupiter's central meridian around 5:12 am CST. Features on Jupiter remain closer to the planet's central meridian than to the limb for nearly an hour before and after they transit. You'll also find Ganymede's tiny black shadow crossing Jupiter's face from 3:29 to 5:15 am CST.http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: MarsCon 2018 – Robots, Rayguns, and Rockets (The 3 R's of Sci-Fi) Bloomington, MN, March 3-4.https://marscon.org/2018/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: Targeting DNA Methylation and Chromatin for Cancer Therapy – Atlanta, GA, March 1-4.https://www.nature.com/natureevents/science/events/65215-Targeting_DNA_Methylation_and_Chromatin_for_Cancer_Therapy
This Week: Saturday, March 3 – I Want You To Be Happy Day & National Mulled Wine Day
Night Sky, 3/3: Soon after sunset, use binoculars to start looking for Venus and Mercury together just above the west horizon. This is the evening when they appear closest together.
Sunday, March 4 – March Forth, Do Something Day & Holy Experiment Day
Monday, March 5 – World Tennis Day
Tuesday, March 6 – Peace Corps Day & Unique Names Day
Night Sky, 3/6: Now that it's early March, the Big Dipper rises as high in the northeast as Cassiopeia has descended to in the northwest quite soon after dark. Midway between them, as always, is Polaris.
Wednesday, March 7 – National Be Heard Day & Day for Women's Rights & International Peace
Night Sky, 3/7: This is the time of year when Orion stands straight upright due south as the stars come out. Later in the night, and later in the month, he begins his long tilt down toward the west.
Thursday, March 8 – International Women's Day aka International Working Women's Day
If Seuss translated the Bible: But the Angel said "No! Make that snake go away! Tell that Snake in the bush you don't want him to stay. He should not be here. He should not be about. He should not be here When Jehovah is out!"
..........We understand and sympathize this state of mind you're in.........Cowsills …..Mister Flynn
^^ The Articles of Confederation gave the central government "the sole and exclusive right and power of...fixing the Standard of Weights and Measures throughout the United States." Article IX, Section 4.
Next Funniest thing I read of the Week: Can I opt out of having a gun in my classroom if I have bone spurs?
Moonbeam: I think that writers are, at best, outsiders to the society they inhabit. They have a kind of detachment, or try to have. --John Irving
Late Night Snacks: The president's son-in-law and adviser, Jared Kushner, had his security clearance downgraded today. This means he won't have access to a lot of top-secret documents. So I guess now Drumpf AND Kushner won't be reading the daily intelligence briefing. Here's how far Kushner was downgraded – he's not even allowed to use the Drumpf family HBO GO password anymore. --James Corden / Drumpf also tweeted Russia is laughing their asses off at us. Which is true. They have been laughing their asses off since November 2016. They have been laughing so hard they have no asses left. --Jimmy Kimmel / Yes, Drumpf never said to give guns to teachers willy-nilly, he tweeted about arming “weapons-talented” teachers. I mean, can you imagine what this country would be like if anyone could get a gun? --Stephen Colbert / President Drumpf today endorsed Senator Ted Cruz for re-election ahead of next week's Republican primary in Texas. And when he heard that, Ted Cruz smiled so big eight babies started crying. --Seth Meyers / President Drumpf is expected to announce he's running for re-election in 2020. Yep, he's even got a great slogan: "Pretend the last four years never happened." --Jimmy Fallon / The Las Vegas airport has asked passengers to dispose of their marijuana in a special box. In a related story at Las Vegas airport today, Willie Nelson was found hiding in a box. --Conan O'Brien
Not So Late Night Snacks: As everyone knows Adam Rippon is the first openly gay male Olympian which is both heartwarming and groundbreaking and a little surprizing I mean the sparkly suits were kind of a give away, guys. --Peter Sagal And he also said being a gay athlete is the same as straight athlete but with better eyebrows. --Faith Salie Wait Wait Don't Tell Me
50 ways to promote peace #25: Create a safe space/sanctuary in your home.
If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star, So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast , but still the trip will last and last. We'll have two days til we arrive but can the Indrans there survive? Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine. LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline! Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go! Please make it so, please make it so!
..........This is your life, you made it this far.........Bon Jovi …..Welcome to Wherever You Are
^^^ Weights and Measures Division, Gaithersburg, MD. The Weights and Measures Division promotes uniformity in US weights and measures laws, regulations, and standards to achieve equity between buyers and sellers in the marketplace.
Worthless Fact of the Week: Alexander Romanov aka Aleksandr II aka Alexander the Liberator sold Alaska to the US in 1867 for $7.2 million.
Weird Word of the Week: Zymurgy – the art or practice of fermentation. Unsurprisingly, it is best know within the fields of wine making and brewing.http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-zai1.htm
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Fashion a tourniquet. Tying a Trojan Condom around a bleeding appendage works as a tourniquet.http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/trojan.html
If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: Worf: The saboteur is in the brig. He's very strong and very big. I had my phaser set on stun – A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one! He would not budge, he would not fall, he would not stun, no, not at all! He changed into a stranger form all soft and purple, round and warm. ...........And how the day is so much fun.........Cowsills …..We Can Fly
^^^^ Most of the world uses the "system international" that we call the metric system. The United States uses the "customary system" and is the only major industrialized country that does not require the metric system.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Torture – to inflict severe pain on. King Henry VI, Part II, Act 2, Scene 2 Simpcox: Alas, master, I am not able to stand alone; you go about to torture me in vain.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I was going to include a time travel joke, but you guys didn't like it.
Science on the Internet of the Week: Create Oobleck and Make It Dance To The Music --Named after a sticky substance in a children’s book by Dr Seuss, Oobleck is a non-Newtonian fluid, which means it can behave as both a solid and a liquid. And when placed on a sound source, the vibrations causes the mixture to gloopily dance. http://www.housingaforest.com/dancing-oobleck/
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck guarding the very strange looking prince in the case of the Komondo Koosh. ~~A dog that looks like it was designed by Dr. Seuss
If Dr. Seuss wrote H P Lovecraft: Why Angell believed the dreams of Cthulhu became obvious when I read file two. He had an account of an earlier date he'd investigated since 1908. The inspector, Legrasse, had uncovered the meaning: In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu lies dreaming. With these few words he unhid what was hidden, and opened the door to a thing long forbidden.
..........There's a voodoo mojo brewing at the go-go.........Bon Jovi …..One Wild Night
^^^^^ 1970s. The U.S. government passed the Metric Conversion Act of 1975, which made the metric system "the preferred system of weights and measures for US trade and commerce." The legislation states that the federal government has a responsibility to assist industry as it voluntarily converts to the metric system, i.e., metrification. This is most evident in US labeling requirements on food products, where SI units are almost always presented alongside customary units. According to the CIA Factbook, the United States is one of three nations (along with Liberia and Burma) that have not adopted the metric system as their official system of weights and measures.
Month of the Week: March is Frozen Food Month --This food is so cold, it's singing “Let It Go” / The four basic food groups – canned, boxed, bagged, and frozen.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just gonna ask them where they're going and catch up with them later. --Mitch Hedberg 50 Great Mitch Hedberg jokes on what would've been his 50th birthday
Most Beautiful Thing in the State: Smoky Mountains National Park, Tennessee. This beautiful mountain range reaches towering heights of nearly seven-thousand feet, but is famous for its magical, smoky haze. https://smokymountains.com/park/
Today's Peace of History: March 2, 1807: The US Congress sought to end international slave trade by passing an act to make it unlawful “to import or bring into the United States or the territories thereof from any foreign kingdom, place, or country, any negro, mulatto, or person of colour, with intent to hold, sell, or dispose of such negro, mulatto, or person of colour, as a slave, or to be held to service or labour.
If Seuss wrote Star Wars: One droid, two droid, red droid, blue droid. The force is the force, of course, of course.
..........And you see daffodils, peepin' over the hills.........Cowsills …..Indian Lake
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle March 2, 2018, Bissel the ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Peace, love, and Lorax. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: What we need is Star Peace and not Star Wars. --Mikhail Gorbachev
Cost of War: Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 3/1/18: $799,587,029,407.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 2/22/18: $798,926,562,826.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 3/1/18: $821,300,983,335.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 2/22/18: $821,281,680,217.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 3/1/18: $1,819,610,288,920.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 2/22/18: $1,818,230,988,701. https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
50 ways to promote peace #24: Register to vote (and actually vote!)
..........Remember days of skipping school, racing cars, and being cool.........Bon Jovi …..Never Say Goodbye
If Seuss wrote The Book of Mormon: Of goodly parents I was born; I've never drunk, I've never sworn. This is Lehi, he's my dad. Laman, Lemuel, they are bad. And who is this? Why this is Sam. Yes, this is Sam. Sam I am
Famous Last Words: Good night. Dr. Seuss The Sleep Book
May Peace be a wall against the wind
And Joy be a roof against the rain
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:
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