Famous First Words: Through the fence, between the curling flower spaces... The Sound and The Fury by William Faulkner
Rise and Shine. ePistliers! These fresh horrors aren't going to face themselves.
Tomorrow, September 26, is National Robot Day! When the war with the machines starts everybody wants to blow up the printer; nobody wants to shoot the coffee maker. / Rob Robot loves all of Anne Droid's novels. / Rosie the Robot always used to take the long way home. They called it R2 Detour.
..........Moving her body like an old tin can.........The Incredible String Band …..Robot Blues
No one learns more about a problem than the person on the bottom. --Sandra Day O'Connor
Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 1 - We do not want war.
The light is just beginning to reveal the world anew. I've had a “bad night” restless, nearly sleepless due to numbness and pain in my right arm and hand. I'm afraid that typing might make it worse. But I still like to hear the light rain against the window and to listen to the birds. Have a great day out there.
Hope your weekend is naturally fun, audience of real live people.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I just realized that the paper towels at the side of the gas pump are there so you can wipe your tears after you fill your tank. --Kenneth Waggoner --Submitted by ks of ks
Optical Illusion of the Week: Goat or kookaburra bird I love these illusions.
I must admit there are living people whom I think ought to be Upgraded or be deleted. / When I found Dolly Droid plugged into my phone charger all I did was point a finger at her. She smiled and said, “guilty as charged”.
..........Rock, Robot, Rock.........Daft Punk …..Robot Rock
Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 2 - The opposite party alone is guilty of war.
Trivia Questions: It's Save The Koalas Day!
Why do koalas need to be saved?
They're called koala bears but what are they really?
Since Australia has many indigenous languages there are many different names for the koala. Many of them mean “no water”; why?
What is the koala lifespan?
How many koalas are left on the planet?
Big Hello: Ba'ax ka wa'alik – Yucatec Maya (Mexico) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Wrote of the Week: Single ladies, tired women, girls starting out...speaking of robotics and technology, there is new, good sex technology these days. You can get it online so you never have to face a human if you're embarrassed. What you get is twice the orgasams in half the time with NONE of the ego.
Image of the Week: Singers from the Lawrence, KS weekly Indivisible/Free Lawrence protests (Sundays, 12-1 pm, 9th & Mass)
Insult of the Week: Bringing you up to speed is like trying to explain Norway to a dog.
Dobby Droid ran away from his job as Elon Musk's go-fer. He joined the heavy metal band, Droidlocks. Their big hit was Light My Wire. / That woman is way too obsessed with AI. Her pet dog is the Mars Rover.
….......may be paranoid but not an android..........Radiohead …..Paranoid Android
Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 3 - The enemy is the face of the devil.
Moonbeam: Comfortable shoes and the freedom to leave are the 2 most important things in life. --Shel Silverstein
Blasphemy of the Week: Beware those who claim to know the mind of God and are prepared to use force, if necessary, to make others conform. Beware those who cannot tell God's will—from their own. --Barbara Brown Taylor
Coffee Joke of the Week: The lab wanted everybody to love their new creation, Andy Android. So they figured they needed to program it to love others. Try as they might, they never found a way to do that. So they taught it to make coffee and sure enough everybody loves it.
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Billionaires suddenly turning against AI makes me wonder if the models suggested wealth redistribution as the actual solution to a problem. --Submitted by 98%
You know when the computer asks you if you're a robot. It's just Cyrus Cyborg trying to find his mom. So sad. / I swear AI never gets it right. I sent my brother an email saying I needed a break and my computer sent me a case of KitKat bars.
..........no remorse, metal bloodshed..........Shikari …..Robot Wars
Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 4 - We defend a noble cause, not our own interests.
1) Koalas are losing their habitat to housing, agriculture, roads, and logging. Bushfires and heat waves can be fatal to koalas. Also cars and dogs kill about 4,000 koalas a year. Drought is also a problem mostly by killing eucalyptus leaves.
Almanac: It is Friday, September 25. The moon will be full (Harvest) tomorrow (9/26) and is in Pisces. Today is Acne Scar Day, Ask A Stupid Question Day, Math Storytelling Day, National Daughters Day, National Lobster Day, National One-Hit Wonder Day, National Psychotherapy Day, National Quesadilla Day, National Research Administrators Day, National Tune-up Day, (World) Ataxia Awareness Day, World Lung Day, World Pharmacists Day, and Sukkot (begins at sundown). Because it is the last Friday in September it is also Hug A Vegan Day and/or Hug A Vegetarian Day, Baking Day, Save The Koala Day, and Support Purple for Platelets Day. Finally, because it is the 4th Friday it is National Bakery Day, and Native American Day.
Among those born on this day were Fletcher Christian (1764), William Faulkner (1897), Mark Rothko (1903), Ethel Rosenberg (1915), Phil Rizzuto (1918), Barbara Walters (1929), Shel Silverstein (1930), John S. Bull (1934), Juliet Prowse (1936), Michael Douglas (1944), Mark Hamill (1951), Christopher Reeve (1952), Will Smith (1968), Catherine Zeta-Jones (1969), and Donald Glover (1983).
On September twenty-fifth Balboa became the first European to see the Pacific Ocean (1513), the first press in the new world began printing (1639), Publick Occurrences became the first newspaper in the new world (Boston, 1690), the US Secretary of the Navy authorized the enlistment of slaves (1861), Congress proposed the Bill of (12) Rights (1789), Yosemite National Park was established (1890), ground breaking for Fenway Park began (1811), president Wilson collapsed (1919), Lou Gehrig played in his 1500th consecutive game (1934), the first transatlantic telephone cable went into operation (1956), the Beatles cartoon debuted in the US (1965), and Sandra Day O'Connor was sworn in as the first female supreme court justice (1981).
Night Sky, 9/25: The moon is at 98% illumination and Neptune is in opposition to the sun.
Fraternal Pictures of the Week: Max turns 8
and A boy and his hog
This Week: Saturday, September 26 – International Rabbit Day & National Doodle Day & World Contraception Day
Sunday, September 27 – Crush A Can Day & Happy Daughters Day & National Day of Forgiveness
Night Sky, 0/27: Morning Planets: Mars lines up with Castor and Pollux in Gemini and Jupiter shines near Regulus.
Monday, September 28 – International Right To Know Day & National Drink Beer Day & National Good Neighbor Day
Tuesday, September 29 – National Coffee Day & VFM Day & Silent Movie Night
Night Sky, 9/29: Evening Plantes: Venus, Mercury, Saturn, and Neptune.
Wednesday, September 30 – Blasphemy Day & National Love People Day & Recovery Day
Thursday, October 1 – International Coffee Day & National Hair Day & Vegan Baking Day
Night Sky, 10/1: Sunrise: 7:16 am Sunset: 7:04 pm 11 hours and 48 minutes of daylight. Moonset: 1:08 pm Moonrise: 10:12 pm
It's not fair; no matter how many bytes they take, biobots never gain weight. / No! No, please, don't take your robot to the shoe store to get it rebooted.
..........I'd just have to wind him with a robot key.........Connie Francis …..Robot Man
Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 5 - The enemy systematically commits cruelties; our mishaps are involuntary.
2) A koala is a tree-dwelling marsupial (Phascolarctos cinereus) native to Australia. They give birth to very undeveloped young called pinkies that are nursed in a pouch. Phascolarctos is Greek and means “pouch bear” and cinereus is Latin and means “ash colored”.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Have you ever noticed how many towns are named after their water tower? --Steve Acree Submitted by jm of ks
Moonbeam: If the track is tough and the hill is rough, THINKING you can just ain't enough. --Shel Silverstein
Fun Facts of the Week: A reminder, these are the three laws of robotics set forth by Isaac Asimov 1) A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2) A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings except when such an order would conflict with the First Law. 3) A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. ~~Have the designers demanded these laws be part of any and all AI systems? Have the programmers figured out how to program it into them?
Another Literary Fun Fact About Robots of the Week: The word robot was coined by Karel Čapek in a play called RUR (Rossum's Universal Robots, 1920). I seem to remember that the robots saved the world (but not necessarily the human race) because AI or evolution made 2 robots fall in love. My favorite Čapek book is The Absolute At Large. It's about GOD (not that one) being set loose on earth.
Video of the Week: Cute koala video (1:23) https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=445931414565230
The freedom to criticize judges and other public officials is necessary to a vibrant democracy. The problem comes when healthy criticism is replaced with more destructive intimidation and sanctions. --Sandra Day O'Connor
My robot dog is a model K9-3000. It chases data instead of sticks. / Alex Android was recently promoted to CEO of Yahoo. It was once one of the scanners whose job is looking for sedition threats in everybody's emails. But it couldn't laugh at the boss' jokes so he was going to fire it. Then the board of directors realized the android was more efficient, faster, and never took time off to expect laughs. So they fired the old CDO and hired the robot.
..........Pumping Valvoline.........Mayer Hawthorne …..Robot Love
Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 6 - The enemy uses forbidden weapons.
3) Koalas are called no drink or no water because they rarely descend from trees to drink. They get almost all their hydration from the eucalyptus leaves they eat. ~~If this is true, why are 4,000 killed by dogs and cars every year?
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If a plant is sad do other plants photosympathize with it? --Submitted by LanguageNerds
Weird Word of the Week: Selenology – the scientific study of the moon. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/selenology
Dragon of the Week:
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Water tomatoes or melons. Cut a 2-inch diameter hole in the bottom side of a clean, empty 2 liter bottle of Coca-Cola. Drill a 1/16 inch hole in the cap or 1/8 inch for clay soil. Plant the capped bottle upside-down six inches deep and roughly one foot away from the base of the tomato plants or in the middle of a melon hill. Fill the bottle with water every 4 days by placing a hose in the hole you cut in the base. For greater saturation, drill roughly a dozen holes in the top rounded part of the bottle before burying it. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola4.html
My automaton assistant went crazy and had to be recalled. She was just trying to search for some quotes from Brainyquotes.com. But the site demanded that she prove she wasn't a robot. She stayed at it for 3 days and then began pulling bolts out of her body. / Robot couples don't have relationships; they have relationchips.
...........Here comes a robot with electric brains.........They Might Be Giants …..Robot Parade
Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 7 - We suffer small losses, those of the enemy are enormous.
4) Koalas living in the wild typically live 10 to 15 years. The oldest known feral koala was a female aged 19 years. In captivity, koalas tend to live longer, reaching 15-20 years.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When life gives you lemons, congratulate yourself, you've avoided scurvy.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Ancient City Con (26-27, St Augustine, FL) Adventure is waiting... https://www.ancientcitycon.com/
Whatever This Is of the Week: How do we poets write poems in this age of a great dumpster fire? Our job as poets is to chronicle that dumpster fire. That's how every great epic in history got written. The Iliad is a chronicle of a great cultural dumpster fire. --Suazeus Simon Seamount
Spark of Joy of the Week: JV Vance referred to the left as “the fart left”. Fenton Bailey's response: “Better to be on the fart left than in the Turd Reich”. --Submitted by Catsonacouch
If these damned machines are so smart why don't they fix the printer? / My cyber assistant and I were walking down Broadway and I wanted a drink so we stopped at a bar. I ordered a shot of 12 year old single malt Scotch and the cyber sighed and said “I really need to loosen up, how about a screwdriver?”
..........we're such a perfect match.........Was Not Was …..Robot Girl
Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 8 - Artists and intellectuals back our cause.
5) Estimates of the number of koalas in the world range from 100,000 to 900,000. This includes wild and captive koalas.
Protest Sign of the Week: Geezers Against Caesars ...actually a t-shirt
Quote of the Week: We live in a world where there is more and more information, and less and less meaning. --Jean Baudrillard
Second Quote of the Week: Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. --Mark Skousen --Submitted by AnarchistBeauties
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I was reading about the myth of Prometheus today when the phrase “new liver, same eagles” popped into my mind, so I'm keeping that in mind for the next time someone asks me how it's going. --gayarsonist --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery
Today's Peace of History: September 25, 1957: Nine African-American children, protected by 300 members of the US Army's 101st Airborne Division, with fixed bayonets, entered the previously all-white Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas.
Professors Port and Beach built a humanoid and thought it was amusing for the power switch to be toggled by a kick in its butt. / I'll say one thing for my robot friend, it always has cache.
..........Machine or mannequin.........Styx …..Mr Roboto
Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 9 - Our cause is sacred.
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, September 25, 2026: The Android ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.
Moonbeam: Never explain what you do. It speaks for itself. You only muddle it by talking about it. --Shel Silverstein
Cost of War: Pentagon Spending 9/24/26: $1,001,284,435,338 That's nineteen billion, One hundred and thirty-six million, two hundred and nineteen thousand, four hundred and seventy-six dollars this week. Notice too that the running total has reached a trillion dollars.
Pentagon Spending 9/17/26: $982,148,215,862
Pentagon Spending 9/10/26: $962,112,225,540
Pentagon Spending 9/3/26: $942,699,874,972
Non-violence is more powerful than violence. --Cesar Chavez
Pentagon Spending in August 2026: $89,089,647,361
Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282
Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422
Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719
Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
I've always said that at the end of the day, on a legal issue, I think a wise old woman and a wise old man are going to reach the same conclusion. --Sandra Day O'Connor
Famous Last Words: ...and to the States, respectively, or to the people. US Constitution, Article 10. Because it's Bill Of Rights Day.
Ten Commandments of War Propaganda: 10 - All who doubt our propaganda are traitors. --Arthur Ponsonby
..........Finally, robotic beings rule the world.........Flight of the Conchords …..Robots
There's a Robot Restaurant in Lawrence. It's called Dell Taco. / Nancy the nanobot had a hard time making friends – human or humanoid. She had a literal chip on her shoulder. / Ralph the Robot used to hide in the closet whenever it heard the can opener.
May you breathe out Peace
And breathe in Joy
prairie mama
christine
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