mIscellaneous ePistle

 Famous First Words: All states, all powers that rule over men... Niccolo Machiavelli The Prince

Editor's Choice: Miscellaneous Jokes: Did you hear they arrested the devil? Yeah, they got him on possession. / The Internal Revenue Service called Rev. Smith; they asked if a certain person was a member of his congregation. “Yes” was the reply. “Did she donate $10,000 dollars to the church?” Rev Smith answered, “She will.”

..........Ya, better chase all your cares away.........Bing Crosby …..Get Happy

Our intent for this gathering was to protest some of the plans by members of the parliament which are targeting women's bodies and psyche. --Narges Mohammadi 2023 Nobel Laureate

It is a beautiful Friday morning. Neither cloud nor jet trail is visible in the pale blue sky. The temperature is 50°F and there is a breeze which the weather website says is two miles per hour from the southeast; The breeze however appears to be 7 or 8 miles an hour from the north. Hum, it must be Kansas. Several days of rain have left the world very green and very clean. Redwood fences and deep purple irises stand out in all the greens of the backyard. Puck has been out and now sleeps under my feet under my desk; while the rest of the household is either still asleep or already up and gone. I am sipping sweetened and creamed decaf savoring the taste with long slow sips that I hold in my mouth for a moment to make sure I enjoy it fully. As I am lighting a cone of incense, the neighborhood red shouldered hawk** stretches her wings on a bare willow branch far up the tall tree. She surveys the yards below and takes off towards the southeast with a swoop. Now that is an inspiring sight for my morning. **Red-shouldered Hawk Identification, All About Birds, Cornell Lab of Ornithology

Hope your weekend is full of laughs, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sorry, but if we let people choose their own gender then what's next? Something else that's none of my business and doesn't harm me in any way? I mean where does it end? --amb of ks

A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident to find a car smashed into a tree. The officer rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, “Are you seriously hurt?” “How should I know?” the driver responds, “I'm not a lawyer”. / When Tim Cook (Apple CEO) testifies in the Apple monopoly trial he will be an iWitness.

..........And the people in the houses all go to the university.........Pete Seeger …..Little Boxes

Trivia Questions: It's World Press Freedom Day.

• ^ What organization monitors freedom of the press worldwide?
• ^^ What has the United Nations done to promote freedom of the press?
• ^^^ How many journalists have been killed since 1993?
• ^^^^ How many journalists have died in the last 4 months in Gaza?
• ^^^^^ How many journalists have been murdered in the United States since 1993?

Big Hello: Caiu – Monégasque (Monaco) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: CK's new t-shirt: Anti-Racist Anti-Sexist Anti-Trump Pro Wine

Image of the Week: Kansas Tornado

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: No patron whose first words are “I have one question...” has ever had just one question. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

NBC's Moscow correspondent, Irving R Levine heard a Russian greet a friend with “Have you heard? Pravda is running a contest for the best political joke. The first prize is 20 years. / When I dropped my toothpaste, I was crestfallen.

..........When there's no destination that's too far........James Brown …..Living In America

Moonbeam: You'll never find a better sparring partner than adversity. --Goulda Meir

Blasphemy of the Week: A televangelist from Arkansas claims Satan is engineering Taylor Swift's marriage to Travgis Kelce so she can give birth to the antichrist and launch the apocalyptic thousand-year war against Christ. Details ~~What does that mean for the reigning antichrist?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Jim Vespe, of Mamaroneck, NY. Think of a major American corporation of the past (two words, 15 letters altogether.) Change the last three letters in the second word and you'll name something that will occur later this year. What is it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 4/28/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You'd think that someone who is on trial for paying someone to keep their mouth shut would understand how a gag order works. --Submitted by ss of kc

At a Hollywood wedding reception, one woman remarked how lovely the star looked as a bride. Another guest said sweetly, “Oh, she's thrown more bridal bouquet than a starting pitcher for the LA Dodgers.” / Premature edraculation: turning into a vampire before being bitten

..........Those memories, those times I'm sure we'll never forget.........Engelbert Humperdinch …..Still

^ The Committee to Protect Journalists is an American independent non-profit, non-governmental organization, based in NYC, with correspondents around the world. CPJ promotes press freedom and defends the rights of journalists. (founded 1981) Committee to Protect Journalists – Defending Journalists Worldwide. - Committee to Protect Journalists (cpj.org)

Almanac: It is Friday, May 3, 2024. The moon moved into the last quarter last Wednesday (5/1) and is in Pisces. It is World Press Freedom Day, Garden Meditation Day, Hug Your Cat Day, Lumpy Rug Day, National Specially-abled Pets Day, National Two Different Colored Shoes Day, No Pants Day, Paranormal Day, Public Radio Day, and Tuba Day.

Among those born on this day were Niccolo Machiavelli (1469), Marcel Dupre (1886), Golda Meir (Meyerson, 1898), Walter Slezak (1902), Bing Crosby (Harry Lillis, 1903), Mary Astor (1906), William Inge (1913), Pete Seeger (1919), Sugar Ray Robinson (Walter Smith, 1920), James Brown (1928), Engelbert Humperdinck (Arnold Geroge Dorsey, 1936), Frankie Valli (Castelluccio, 1937), and Doug Hennings (1947).

On May third the Treaty of Loudun ended the French civil war (1616), Baily's Beads during an eclipse were first observed (1715), the first medical school in the US opened (Philadelphia, 1765), Washington, DC was incorporated (1802), Lord Byron swam the Hellespont (1810), Macon Bolling Alley became the first black lawyer admitted to the bar (1845), America's first passenger flight took off (NYC to Atlantic City, 1919), the US mint got its first female director (Nellie T Ross, 1933), Japan formed a constitutional democracy (1947), Most Happy Fella opened (1956), George Brett got his first major league hit (1973) and Kiss of the Spider Woman opened (1993).

Night Sky, 5/3: After sunset, use binoculars or a wide-field telescope to try for a last look at Jupiter. It's just above the west-northwest horizon in moderately bright twilight. If you succeed, you will be among the last few people on Earth to see the giant planet so close to the end of its 2023-24 apparition. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Ollie shows off his new haircut while Max shows off his tongue.

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: History Without Discomfort Is Propaganda --Submitted by ma of va

This Week: Saturday, May 4 – Free Comic Book Day & Intergalactic Star Wars Day & Home Brew Day

Night Sky, 5/4: Eta Aquariid meteor shower contains bits of the rubble stream shed by Halley's Comet, often presenting the best meteor display of the year for the Southern Hemisphere. But for us northerners the shower's radiant point is still quite low even as dawn begins. Nevertheless, meteor watchers in the southern US may catch the brief death streaks of a few Halley bits before dawn on May 5th and 6th.

Sunday, May 5 – African World Heritage Day & Cinco de Mayo & Silence the Shame Day & World Laughter Day

Monday, May 6 – Great Lakes Awareness Day & No Diet Day & No Homework Day

Tuesday, May 7 – Beaufort Wind Scale Day & Cosmopolitan Day & National Teacher Day & Spring Astronomy Day

Wednesday, May 8 – National Golf Day & Receptionists Day & Student Nurse Day

Night Sky, 5/8: Jupiter, magnitude –2.1, is very low above the west-southwest horizon in mid-twilight. Bring binoculars. It sets well before twilight ends. Uranus, magnitude 5.8, is lost in twilight near Jupiter.

Thursday, May 9 – Alphabet Magnet Day & National Sleepover Day

My husband was building shelves in our bedroom and, intending to continue his work the next day, he left some tools on my dresser including a hammer, screwdriver, and a chisel. The following morning, while I was in front of the dresser combing my hair, my teenage daughter walked in. She took one look at the dresser and asked, “Fixing your face?” / When I was at the coffee shop the other day they played Bolero. It took an entire eight minute for things to unravel.

..........What a very special time for me.........Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons …..December, 1963 (O What A Night)

^^ 30 years ago, the UN General Assembly proclaimed 3 May as World Press Freedom Day. The right to freedom of opinion and expression, press freedom, access to information and the pursuit of peace and sustainable development are closely interlinked...As we also commemorate the 75th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the 30th anniversary of the Vienna Declaration and Programme of Action, it is time to recognize the important contribution of the right to freedom of opinion and expression and freedom of information to the fulfillment of other human rights.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: For your peace of mind, do not try to understand everything. --Submitted by akb of kc

Moonbeam: Nobody is bored when trying to make something that is beautiful, or to discover something that is true. --William Inge

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: Describing women who clean and run a house, look after multiple children, and source and prepare food for a spouse as “not working” is surely one of the most successful conspiracies of the 20^th century. --Submitted by 98%

Video of the Week: Pete Seeger: We Shall Overcome (3:42)

Killing, imprisoning, or denying the rights of a human being is not injustice against one person; it enchains and kills a whole society. --Narges Mohammadi

I was walking down the street the other day and I thought I saw Carol and Carol thought she saw me; but when we got up to each other, it wasn't either one of us. / I heard about a woman who puts snakes on her head to cure migraines. She said it's oddly medusinal.

..........Thought she would call my bluff.........Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons …..Big Girls Don't Cry

^^^ 1,668 journals have died for their profession since 1993. Observatory of Killed Journalists | UNESCO ~~This total is from 2023 that means that more than 55 professionals die per year on average.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you really think the environment is less important than the economy, try holding your breath while you count your money. --Guy PmcPherson --Submitted by bc of tx

Weird Word of the Week: Electroclash – yet another pop-musical genre. The word: World Wide Words: Electroclash The music: What Was Electroclash and Where Did it Go? - Roland Articles

Dragon of the Week: A dragon for Garden Meditation Day

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean chrome or stainless steel. Use Canada Dry Club Soda in a spray bottle. Canada Dry® Club Soda: Wacky Uses

One day a class of second-graders was discussing “What I want to be when I grow up. The teacher received a lot of usual replies...fireman...astronaut...ballerina. Then he asked a youngster deep in thought what she wanted to be. She frowned and replied, “I don't even know what I want to be for Halloween.” / Carla called her sheet music shop Score Store.

...........All the monkeys aren't in the zoo.........Bing Crosby …..Swinging On A Star

^^^^ 95 journalists and media workers have been killed in Gaza. More info

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I asked myself if I was crazy and we all said “no”,

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: 2024 DemiCon: Once More With Feeling (3-5, Des Moines, IA) Bringing back the themes from the 2020-21 virtual conventions DemiCon 35 – Des Moines' 35th Annual Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Gaming Convention

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Headache Society (IHS) 2024 iHEADS Scientific Program (3-4, Berlin Germany) ...acute and preventive management... IHS 2024 | Science - International Headache Society (ihs-headache.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: General Electric → General Election

A reporter covering the Iowa Senate wore a pair of slingback pumps on a day when it snowed, and the following day, a pleasant, dry one – she wore overshoes. A senator asked her about it. “It's the effect of being around the government, “ she replied, “I am now prepared for yesterday.” / Sorry, I just assumed that the king kept his armies up his sleevies.

..........Like sugar and spice..........James Brown …..You Got Me (I Feel Good)

^^^^^ 9 journalists have been killed within the borders of the United States. Observatory of Killed Journalists | UNESCO

Hint of the Week: A good law of history is that if you ever find yourself opposing a student movement while siding with the ruling class, you are wrong. Every single time. In every year. No matter the issue, --Submitted by 98%

Quote of the Week: Let me tell you something, if you are spending enough time to know the genitalia of the other people in a public bathroom...you're the creep. --Trevor Noah

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage. --Submitted by arh of mo

Today's Peace of History, May 3, 1968: More than 100 black students took over the Bursar's Office at Northwestern University in Evanston, IL for 36 hours. They demanded inclusion of African-American history, literature, and art in the curriculum.

My son had to give up his career because of fallen arches. No, he's not an athlete, he's an architect. / When I was young I wanted to be a dolphin; but as I got older my sense of porpoise faded away.

..........On a one way trip to the sun.........Engelbert Humperdenck …..After the Lovin'

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 3, 2024, ePistle mIscellaneous. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: You don't think. It's all instinct. If you stop to think, you're gone. --Sugar Ray Robinson

Cost of War:

• As of 05/02/24 State Department Costs: $235,045,862,294.
• As of 04/25/24 State Department Costs: $234,503,303.479.
• As of 05/02/24 Homeland Security: $1,167,015,372,680.
• As of 04/25/24 Homeland Security: $1,166,426,089,726.
• As of 05/02/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,215,611,053,340.
• As of 04/25/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,214,095,515,543.
• As of 05/02/24 Military Costs: $3,082,649,281,924.
• As of 05/02/24 Veterans Care: $3,639,904,336,224.
• As of 04/25/24 Veterans Care: $3,628,416,021,296.
• As of 04/25/24 Military Costs: $3,081,498,676,023.
• As of 05/02/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,340,228,162,121.
• As of 04/25/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,324,942,747,235.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

As a human rights defender, like millions of Iranians, I hate the death penalty. --Narges Mohammadi

Famous Last Words: His name was Molina. --Kiss of the Spider Woman

..........I'll see you in my dreams.........Pete Seeger …..Goodnight Irene

Singing quietly has never been my forte. / While I was making farewell visits before moving to a new parish, an elderly member of the congregation paid me a compliment by suggesting that my successor would not be as good as I had been. “Nonsense,” I replied, flattered. “No, really,“ she insisted. “I've lived here under five different ministers, and each new one has been worse than the one before.”

May Peace scratch your itch
And Joy tickle your fancy
prairie mama
christine

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