sIgned ePistle

 Famous First Words: What hath God wrought? --First telegraph message

Time of the Signs: Yard Sale! Our crap could be YOUR crap. / Take My Ex's Stuff Yard Sale. It's all gotta go. Just like him. / Going to Jail Sale

..........World's too crazy, I can't take no more.........Patti LeBelle …..Stir It Up

As feminist peace activists from around the world, we continue to demand that governments take immediate action to end the daily threat and impact of weapons on people and communities everywhere. --International Women's Day for Peace and Disarmament

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. The sky is spotted with fluffy white puffs floating slowing north on a 10 mph breeze. 75°F is delightful against the skin and welcomed by the lush green leaves. There are still a few bright red mulberries on the tree, but most have turned purple and been consumed by uncounted species and colors and voices of birds. The willow is waving to the clouds from the full foliage of the bottom to the small branches at the very top. Bird song is chirping from unseen limbs hidden by the storage shed. Puck has been out and back and is taking his early morning nap at my feet. Veronica always sits at the door waiting for Puck to return and then disappears upstairs for the rest of the day. I sip creamy sweet decaf and type...fingers properly poised...hovering over the keys. Green incense fills the room with fake pine to pretend that room is part of the nature in the backyard. Hum, clouds seem to be thicker now, gathering together for some spring mischief perhaps. It seems like a good sign.

Hope your weekend is a sign of good times, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sign outside a British Pub: All Americans must be accompanied by an adult.

House for Sale or Rent! For Lease Navidad / This building is NOT for sale or rent. If you are NOT interested in this building please call the owner at (555) 555-5555 / For Sale Not Haunted

..........Baby, we know who we are.........Rosanne Cash, John Haitt & the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band …..One Step Over The Line

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Morse Code!

• ^ From where to where was the first message sent?
• ^^ How much did installation of the first telegraph line cost, more or less?
• ^^^ When did the US complete transcontinental telegraph lines?
• ^^^^ Telegram use peaked around 1929. How many telegrams were sent that year?
• ^^^^^ Can you still send a telegraph in the US today?

Big Hello: Ne y windiga – Mossi (Burkina-Faso, Mali & Togo) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The only reason there are pyramids in Egypt is because they were too heavy to move to the British Museum. --Submitted by FNOG

Image of the Week: Ankle Pumps – A Pre-Op exercise for total hip replacement ~~The best ones, however, are butt squeezes

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Which came first, library's use of tiny pencils or the tiny pockets in cardigans? https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Church Sign Humor: Go, God! / Don't Make Me Come Down There. --God / Jesus loves you and your tattoos. / Hipster Jesus loved you before you were cool. / This church is not full of hypocrites. There is always room for more. / Every Church Member Should Be Committed. / Sermon: Do You Know What Hell Is?. Come hear our new organist.

..........To be on your own, with no direction home.........Bob Dylan ….Like A Rolling Stone

Moonbeam: He who stops being better stops being good. --Oliver Cromwell

Blasphemy of the Week: You cringe when a man says he “identifies” as a woman. I understand. I feel the same way when you “identify” as a Christian. --Submitted by sb of ar

Puzzle of the Week: Think of a well-known seven-letter geographical name in a single word that has just two consonants and yet is pronounced in five syllables. --NPR Sunday Puzzle 5/19/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: ...and, um..uh. Sorry, my train of thought suddenly became a golf cart of vague notions.

Keep Off the Grass! Do Not Disturb Tiny grass is dreaming / Your feet are killing me / No Signs on Grass / Brown Grass is Sexy / Please Don't Stomp Here There are seeds and they are trying / GET OFF MY LAWN … NOW

..........I'm a'going back out 'fore the rain starts a-falling.........Bob Dylan ….A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall

^ The first telegram was sent from Baltimore, MD to Washington, DC. (40 miles). The Baltimore-Washington telegraph line was the first long-distance telegraph system set up to run overland in the US.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 25, 2024. The moon was full (Flower) yesterday (5/23) and is in Sagittarius. It is International Women's Day for Disarmament, Brother's Day, Don't Fry Day, Heat Awareness Day, International Tiara Day, Morse Code Day, National Escargot Day, and National Wig Out Day.

Among those born on this day were George III (1738), Jean-Paul Marat (1743), Oliver Cromwell (1753), Thomas Duncan (1807), Samuel Newhouse (1895), Clifford Irving (1914), Tommy Chong (1938), Dixie Carter (1939), Bob Dylan (1941), Frank Oz (1943), Gary Burghoff (1943), Patti Labelle (1944), Priscilla Presley (1945), and Rosanne Cash (1955).

On May twenty fourth the Methodist Church was established (1738), the first passenger rail line opened in the US (1830), the first telegraph message was tapped out (1844), the first black university in the US opened (Lincoln U, 1854), the Pottawatomie Massacre took place (KS, 1856), the Anti-Monopoly party and the Greenback party merged to become the People's Party (1884), the first auto repair shop in the US opened (Boston, 1899), Edison patented telescribe to record telephone conversations (1915), racial segregation in the District of Columbia was outlawed (1951), and Willie Mays joined the Giants (1951).

Night Sky, 5/24: Vega is the brightest star shining in the east-northeast after dark. Look lower left of it, by about two fists at arm's length, for Deneb, less bright. Those stars are two thirds of the Summer Triangle. So where's the third? It's Altair. With summer still four weeks away (astronomically speaking), it stays below the eastern horizon until somewhat after dark. Watch for it to clear the horizon three or four fists at arm's length to Vega's lower right. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max and Ollie discovered water at the end of their trip to the Children's Museum.

This Week: Saturday, May 25 – International Plastic Free Day & National Missing Children's Day & Towel Day

Sunday, May 26 – National Paper Airplane Day & Neighbor Day

Night Sky, 5/26: The waning gibbous Moon rises around midnight. Once it's well up, cover it with your fingertip to help reveal that it's in the middle of the Sagittarius Teapot.

Monday, May 27 – Memorial Day & Prayer for Peace Memorial Day & Hamburger Day

Tuesday, May 28 – Amnesty International Founders Day & Women's Golf Day

Wednesday, May 29 – National Alligator Day & Put A Pillow On Your Fridge Day & World Otter Day

Night Sky, 5/29: Have you tried for Mercury in the dawn? It's very low in the east a half hour before sunrise. This is about your last chance at Mercury this apparition. Bring binoculars.

Thursday, May 30 – National Creativity Day & World MS (Multiple Sclerosis) Day

Traffic Ahead: Beware of...Just Beware / Weed Limit 420 / Caution – Trees Don't Move / I'd turn back if I were you.

..........Like it was written in my soul from me to you.........Bob Dylan ….Tangled Up In Blue

^^ Funding for the Baltimore-Washington line was $30,000.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I am so tired of Reserved Parking signs. They're all over campus. I'm looking for the sign that says Parking With Wild Abandonment.

Moonbeam: Religion is run by thought police. --Tommy Chong

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen, and they made that movie so that when people googled “Walt Disney Frozen” the movie would come up first. --LizardPossum

Another Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Civilization is an elaborate plot to make us wear clothes.

Video of the Week: Frank Oz as Fozzie Bear (:59) short videos fozzie bear - Google Search
Yet despite the wide-ranging and devastating impact of weapons, governments and corporations continue to perpetuate the arms trade at the expense of human lives and security. --International Women's Day for Peace and Disarmament

Traffic Signs: Don't Be A Stinker, Use Your Blinker / We'll be Blunt! Don't Drive High! / Did it come with a turn signal? / Camp in the Ozarks, Not the Left Lane / Road Work Next 15 years

..........Please don't let on that you knew me when..........Bob Dylan ….Just Like A Woman

^^^ The first transcontinental telegraph line was completed October 24, 1961. It connected the Eastern US lines with a network of lines in California. It had links through Omaha, Carson City, and Salt Lake City.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I run a tight shipwreck. -- Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Haptic – the sense of touch of tactile sensation Haptic (worldwidewords.org)

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove grease from a car windshield. Keep a bottle filled with Canada Dry Club Soda in the trunk of your car. Canada Dry® Club Soda: Wacky Uses ~~Do we think just keeping it in the trunk works or do we have to apply it?

Burma Shave! Heaven's latest neophyte signaled left then turned right / A nut at the wheel, A peach on his right, A curve in the road, Fruit salad that night / The bearded lady tried a jar, She's now a famous movie star. Burma Shave

...........So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late..........Bob Dylan ….All Along The Watchtower

^^^^ It is estimated that worldwide 200 million telegrams were sent in 1929.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Roses are red, Well, sometimes they're blue; depends on their velocity relative to you. --Submitted by SH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Phoenix Fan Fusion 2024 (24-26, Phoenix, AZ) Discover Your Inner Geek Fan Fusion | Comics, Anime, and Gaming Convention | Phoenix, June 2-4, 2023 (phoenixfanfusion.com)

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Mathematical Statistics and Actuarial Science (ICMSAS) (24, New York, NY) ...calculate the date and time of your own death International Conference On Mathematical Statistics And Actuarial Science (internationalconferencealerts.com)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: 2 consonants and 5 syllables: Oceania

Restaurant Signs: Water fountain for your Dog or Short People with low standards. We don't judge. / Soup of the Day – Whiskey / In case of fire, please leave the building before pasting on social media.

..........I see my light come shining.........Bob Dylan ….I Shall Be Released

^^^^^ iTelegram took over the telegram business in 2006. You can send via the iTelegram website or via Deskmail, a legacy Windows program.

Hippy Update of the Week: I have finished all of the doctor visits, videoes, and reading materials required before surgery. My final dentist procedure is scheduled for May 29^th. I am now working on requirements for coming back home after surgery. All bedding and bathroom linens, towels, etc. must be freshly laundered to avoid infection. We are to remove all throw rugs (and all the blankets that the cat and dog have laying all over the house as spare beds), a riser for the toilet seat (optional), and a two-wheeled walker (borrowed from Independence, Inc's lending closet). Jeff has been doing my laundry since he has had to carry the basket in and out because I can't use a cane AND carry anything worth carrying. I've contacted meals on wheels to deliver prepared meals for a month. Also gathering various otc meds I'll need – baby aspirin and senokot and equipment (stocking puller upper, shoe horn on a stick, grapper – (I have one, it's a “dragon” grapper) I had no idea that preparing for surgery was a full time job.

Quote of the Week: The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly. --Robert Anton Wilson --Submitted by Anti-Capitalist Education

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Honestly, I love every single some of you. --Submitted by RHOZ

Today's Peace of History, May 24, 1968: Four protesters, including Phil Berrigan and Tom Lewis, were sentenced in Baltimore, Maryland, to six years each in prison for pouring blood on draft records.

Miscellaneous signs: Is your Refrigerator running? I might vote for it. / We serve kale with a silent k / Eat here or we'll both starve. / On This Spot in April 1, 1780 Nothing Happened

..........In the jingle jangle morning I'll come following you..........Bob Dylan ….Mr Tambourine Man

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 24, 2024, sIgned ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Life moved on like a river, and water could not long remember the bruise it had received from a rock upstream. --Clifford Irving

Cost of War:

• As of 05/23/24 State Department Costs: $236,702,199,114.
• As of 05/16/24 State Department Costs: $236,164,891,934.
• As of 05/23/24 Homeland Security: $1,168,814,492,297.
• As of 05/16/24 Homeland Security: $1,168,230,906,486.
• As of 05/23/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,220,237,412,378.
• As of 05/16/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,218,736,965,981.
• As of 05/23/24 Military Costs: $3,086,161,797,544.
• As of 05/16/24 Military Costs: $3,085,022,572,885.
• As of 05/23/24 Veterans Care: $3,674,973,713,907.
• As of 05/16/24 Veterans Care: $3,663,600,043,634.
• As of 05/23/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,386,890,980,943.
• As of 05/16/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,371,756,926,330.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Government action is urgently needed to address the vast impacts of weapons on human lives and human security, and to work towards a future of peace, equality, and justice for all. --International Women's Day for Peace and Disarmament.

Famous Last Words: Aidez-moi, ma chère amie! --Jean-Paul Marat

..........And don't speak too soon for the wheel's still in spin.........Bob Dylan ….The Times They Are Achangin'

Personal Signs: To the thief who stole my anti-depressants, I hope you're happy. / Anyone caught exiting through this door will be asked to leave. / Parking available in empty spaces only.

May Peace describe your actions
And Joy detail your relationships
prairie mama
christine

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