uNwired ePistle

Famous First Words: I can't see. --Stage Manager Pirandello: Six Characters in Search of an Author

The latest thing in pirate technology is the Ipatch. ...It's Screen-Free Week aka Digital Detox Week (5-11). I'm going to sit at my computer all week hunting for jokes about it. ... A computer once beat me at chess but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

..........I will dance; I will sing and my laugh shall be gay.........Carter Family …..Wildwood Flower

Nationalism is war. --Francois Mitterand

It is a beautiful Friday morning. A clear blue sky with only an occasional cloud. Light breezes make the willow dance and the mulberry shiver. As the clock rounds up to 10 am, I have already been to the dentist and the doctor and now I'm writing to you. Sorry the intro is so short, it's because I've already been to the doctor and the dentist...

May your weekend be super (no wires attached), ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Being famous on social media is basically the same thing as being rich in Monopoly. --Submitted by ff of ks

Day after day we're getting more and more addicted to technology. For instance my uncle spends 6 hours a day on a hemodialysis machine. When your online store says you need a second cart, it's time to stop shopping.

..........Clouds and storms will in time pass away.........Carter Family …..Keep On The Sunny Side

Trivia Questions: It is the 249^th anniversary of the meeting of the Second Continental Congress.

• ^ Where did the Congress meet?
• ^^ The Congress enacted the Olive Branch Petition. What do you know about that?
• ^^^ What military matters did the Congress take care of?
• ^^^^ The “Shot Heard Around the World” had been fired before this Congress met. How long had it been between those shots and this meeting?
• ^^^^^ How long did the Congress last?

Big Hello: Caйн yy - Mongolian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We found your luggage. It's in Cabo, but it's way happier there and isn't coming back. --Submitted by rk of ks

Image of the Week: Windmill Day Taken in Lawrence, KS, 2015

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 30% of all conspiracy theories are made up by librarians for fun. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

I've decided to gradually cut back my dependence on technology. I'm starting with the vacuum and the washer/dryer. I was doing my own taxes online until my computer began making snickering noises.

..........Singing seems to help a troubled soul.........Carter Family …..Daddy Sang Bass

Moonbeam: Joy is the simplest form of gratitude. --Karl Barth

Blasphemy of the Week: When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist. --Dom Helder Camara

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Chad Graham, of Philadelphia. Think of a famous male singer of the past with two A's in his name. Drop both A's and the remaining letters can be rearranged to name a popular make of automobile. What is it?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Some are saying it's the greatest contempt anyone has ever been held in. --Submitted by SDS

How many problems with these self-driving cars might be cured if you make them wait until they're 16 years old? My computer can trick people into thinking it's human. Yeah, I had a boss that could do the same thing.

..........My tears fell like rain..........Fats Domino ….Ain't That A Shame

^ The Second Continental Congress met in Independence Hall in Philadelphia, PA. It is billed as the home of the Declaration of Independence and The US Constitution.

Almanac: It is Friday May 10, 2024. The moon was new last Wednesday (5/8) and is in Gemini. It is Clean Up Your Room Day, Fintastic Friday (Giving Sharks A Voice), Lupus Day, Military Spouse Appreciation Day, and Windmill Day. The Indigenous peoples of North America celebrate Native American Day.

Among those born on this day were John Wilkes Booth (1838), Karl Barth (1886), Olaf Stapleton (1886), Fred Astaire (1899), David O. Selznick (1902), Mother Maybelle Carter (1909), Ella Grasso (1919), Nancy Walker (1921), Fats Domino (1929), Barbara Taylor (1933), and Donovan Leitch (1943).

On May tenth Amerigo Vespucci left on his first voyage to the new world (1497), Ben Franklin tested his first lightning rod (1752), the second Continental Congress convened (1775), the golden spike was driven completing the transcontinental railroad (1869), Victoria Woodhull became the first woman to run for US president (1872), Mother's Day was first officially observed (1908), Six Characters in Search of an Author premiered (1921), WHB-AM began broadcasting in KCMO (1922), ~~It stood for World's Happiest Broadcasters at one point in my youth, J Edgar Hoover was appointed head of the FBI (1924), the first US planetarium opened (Chicago, 1930), Vietnam peace talks began (1968), Francois Mitterrand was elected president of France (1981) and Laverne and Shirley aired its last show (1983).

Night Sky, 5/10: Eta Lyrids Meteor Shower peaks: Remnants of Halley's Comet with 10-30 meteors visible per hour in the Northern Hemisphere. Tonight and tomorrow night List of meteor showers - Wikipedia http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The Hammock Gang... Max is far right and Ollie's in an orange hat.

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Did you hear? After all these years, Moonbeam left Clove and ran off with Ashbury. It was a total hippie replacement.

This Week: Saturday, May 11 – Indigenous Arts Day & International Migratory Bird Day & World Belly Dance Day

Sunday, May 12 – Mother's Day & International Nurses Day & Limerick Day & Native American Rights Day

Night Sky, 5/12: Three zero-magnitude stars shine after dark in May: Arcturus high in the southeast, Vega much lower in the northeast, and Capella in the northwest. They appear so bright because each is at least 60 times as luminous as the Sun, and because they're all relatively nearby: 37, 25, and 42 light-years from us, respectively. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Monday, May 13 – American Indian Day & World Cocktail Day & Frog Jumping Day

Tuesday, May 14 – National Decency Day & National Chicken Dance Day & Underground America Day

Wednesday, May 15 – Peace Officer Memorial Day & Straw Hat Day & International Kangaroo Care Awareness Day

Night Sky, 5/15: This is the time of year when Leo the Lion starts walking downward toward the west, on his way to departing into the sunset in early summer. Right after dark, spot the brightest star fairly high in the west-southwest. That's Regulus, his forefoot. Regulus is also the bottom of the Sickle of Leo: a backward question mark about a fist and a half tall that outlines the lion's leading foot, chest, and mane.

Thursday, May 16 – Biographer's Day & International Day of Light & International Day of Living in Peace & National BBQ Day & National Piercing Day

As technology gets thinner, lighter, and faster people get thicker, heavier, and slower. No wonder we're lost, our information is in the cloud and we're in the fog.

..........The wind in the willow played love's sweet melody..........Fats Domino ….Blueberry Hill

^^ The Olive Branch Petition was adopted by Congress on July 5, 1775, to be sent to the King as a last attempt to prevent a formal war from being declared. The Petition emphasized their loyalty to the British crown and also emphasized their rights as British citizens. Olive Branch Petition | American Battlefield Trust (battlefields.org)

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Understand paranoid people better by following them around. --Submitted by sb of ar

Moonbeam: I have never gone after honors instead of dollars. --David O Selznick

Conspiracy of the Week: c 1798, the Rev Timothy Dwight told his congregation that the Illuminati would “united mankind against God” They would force children of Christians to read the works by deists, to become concubines of society, to see adultery as a virtue and marriage as farce. What We Can Learn From Early American Conspiracy Theories | TIME ~~My question is if the Illuminati have been working on this since before the US was the country it is today, why have they made such weak progress that they haven't been able to move on to the next step? O, wait, would that be corrupting the supreme court?

Video of the Week: Nelson Mandela history clip. video clips mandela's inauguration - Google Search

It is not enough to profess faith in the democratic process; we must do something about it. --Ella Grasso

No, I am not addicted to my smartphone. I have an app that warns me if I'm turning into an addict and it hasn't gone off yet. Don't use that font with me, young lady! Hey, boss, Siri's on the line. She says we're tech support and her stupid user isn't working. What should I tell her?

..........What's ya gonna do when the well runs dry.........Fats Domino ….I'm Walkin'

^^^ The Second Continental Congress established an army for common defensive purposes and appointed George Washington as commander-in-chief. The First Continental Army absorbed the forces then besieging Boston and stationed in New York City. Congress authorized the raising of troops from different colonies to add to the New England troops that comprised the bulk of the forces at that time. 10 Facts: The Continental Army | American Battlefield Trust (battlefields.org)

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There's a fine line between a long sermon and a hostage situation. --Submitted by jm of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Fimbriated – narrow border on a flag whose positioning is important to ensuring that a flag isn't being flown the wrong way up. World Wide Words: Fimbriated

Dragon of the Week: Dragon of Pern

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Water your plants. Feed flat Canada Dry Club Soda to your house plants or outdoor plants. The minerals in club soda are beneficial to green plants. Canada Dry® Club Soda: Wacky Uses

What is the meaning of life? I don't know, the computers are down. Brooks got his job back when the company discovered that the computer they bought to replace him didn't work either.

...........I know it, we'll do it in style.........Donovan …..Sunshine Superman

^^^^ The first shots of the American Revolution occurred at roughly 5:30 in the morning, April 19, 1775. In the space of no more than a few minutes life for the people of Lexington had changed forever. Eight of their neighbors and relatives were dead and ten were wounded. That was 21 days before the Second Continental Congress met. Some delegates were already on their way to Philadelphia when they heard the news.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There is so much space debris orbiting Earth that in the future it may become dangerous just to leave Earth and we could get trapped in our own garbage. It's called Kessler Syndrome. --Neil Degreass Tyson

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Apparently, there are no Science Fiction conventions scheduled on Mother's Day Weekend. So here's a head's up about 2025 WorldCon in Glasgow, Scotland August 8-12 Glasgow 2024, a Worldcon for Our Futures

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Science and Engineering Fair (11-17, Los Angeles, CA) Future Forward. Information for Regeneron ISEF Attendees - Society for Science

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Ray Charles --> Chrysler

Rachel spent so much time on facebook that she donated her body to social science. He's so dependent on technology that he can't find his rear with a GPS.

..........You've got to pick up every stitch..........Donovan …..Season of the Witch

^^^^^ The Second Continental Congress ran from May 10, 1775 until March 2, 1789.

Hippy Update of the Week: 1)A1C test – scheduled 2)EKG – Check 3)Blood Work – Check 4)Dentist – it's complicated 5)Visit with the physical therapy people - scheduled 6)Pre-op pep talk – scheduled , and 7)Surgery 6/13/24

Quote of the Week: I am a free lover. I have an inalienable, constitutional, and natural right to love whom I may, to love as long or short a period as I can; to change that love every day if I please. --Victoria Woodhull Victoria ran for US president in the 1872 election for the Equal Rights Party. Her running mate was Frederick Douglass.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When breaking up with your first significant other, it helps to say "you'll always be the answer to my online banking security question. --Submitted by FNOG

Today's Peace of History, May 10, 1980: NOW (National Organization for Women) organized 85,000 people to march in support of Illinois's ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment to the US Constitution.

I'm a computer addict...a cyberspace junkie. It's ruining my social life, my job, my health. I've got to DO SOMETHING. I've got to get help. Maybe there's an on-line support group. Technology addicts can join a 12 click program.

..........I'm just mad about saffron.........Donovan …..Mellow Yellow

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 10, 2024, uNwired ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: When you are a strong woman, you will attract trouble. When a man feels threatened, there is always trouble. --Barbara Taylor Bradford

Cost of War:

• As of 05/09/24 State Department Costs: $235, 598,449,740.
• As of 05/02/24 State Department Costs: $235,045,862,294.
• As of 05/09/24 Homeland Security: $1,167,615,588,912.
• As of 05/02/24 Homeland Security: $1,167,015,372,680.
• As of 05/09/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,217,154,451,149.
• As of 05/02/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,215,611,053,340.
• As of 05/09/24 Military Costs: $3,083,821,040,473.
• As of 05/02/24 Military Costs: $3,082,649,281,924.
• As of 05/09/24 Veterans Care: $3,651,604,145,559.
• As of 05/02/24 Veterans Care: $3,639,904,336,224.
• As of 05/09/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,355,794,892,293.
• As of 05/02/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,340,228,162,121.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Arise, then women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts. Whether our baptism be that of water or of tears. … From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says “Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of Justice. --Harriet Beecher Stowe

Famous Last Words: ...why, you. --Carmine Final scene of final LaVern and Shirley show.

..........Qu'est-ce que tu fais..........Donovan …..Jennifer Juniper

Mom, why do we need five fingers when there are only two buttons on the mouse? Smartphone, Smartphone on a stick, who's the fairest profile pic?

May Peace be your reveille
And Joy be your taps
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: