Famous First Words: Christmas, Christmas time is near. --The Chipmunks The Christmas Song
Io, Saturnalia! A time when things are turned upside down! Example: If I had my life to live over, I'd live it over a saloon. --W C Fields / Is it further to L A or by bus?
..........We can try to understand.........Bee Gees with Maurice Gibb …..Stayin' Alive
Flight is lawful when one flies from tyrants. --Jean Racine
It is a wet Friday morning. The sky is a solid slate gray and is ready, any moment, to cry over the land it covers. Little puddles are everywhere: beside the street, in the hole in the driveway, waiting to drain into the sewer. The local murder of crows is out playing in the puddles and talking about it in loud caws. There is very little wind and even the willow branches are handing still while the few remaining leaves wave slowly to the day. 51°F is warm for the first day of winter and encourages pets and wildlife and dog walkers to enjoy one more day before it all changes. I sit at my window listening to bird song and watching a crow stop near the top branches and survey the neighborhood with a critical eye. But mostly, I sip coffee and think about writing to you. What a great morning.
Here's hoping your weekend brings you joy, ePistliers.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I dropped a piece of rum soaked fruit cake on the floor, so I put it outside by the bird feeder. Now the yard is filled with at least a dozen species of birds. The ones that haven't passed out seem to be dancing with each other. Io Saturnalia!
For Saturnalia: Responses to cashiers, co-workers, etc. who say, How are you?: I'd say at least 7 out of 10. / Compared to who? / Do you mean physically, spiritually, mentally ? / Between green and gray
.......It's something I think's worthwhile.........Bee Gees with Maurice Gibb …..Holiday
Trivia Questions: Happy 130 Anniversary to the US Golf Association
- ^ Yeah, the Scots invented modern golf, but which country invented a similar game in 13th century?
- ^^ When your posse reaches the putting green, who should putt last?
- ^^^ What is three under par called?
- ^^^^ What is the Ryder cup?
- ^^^^^ What is the most expensive golf club membership in the US?
Big Hello: Moien – Luxembourgish https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I wish the bags under my eyes had money in them. --Submitted by INRITH
Image of the Week:
Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 23% of librarians get the most joy from cursing not reading. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
For Saturnalia: Instead of Have a Nice Day, I'm going to say: May your karma meet your day / Have a bright future / Hope your day is as colorful as a box of crayons / Go get 'em / Shine On!
..........You know that talk is cheap..........Cheap Trick with Rick Nielsen …..Dream Police
Moonbeam: If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation. --Abigail Adams
Question of the Week: If you could bring one fictional character to life who would it be? https://www.teachingexpertise.com/classroom-ideas/funny-philosophical-questions/
Puzzle of the Week: From listener Steve Baggish: Take the phrase WINTER SEASON. Add a letter of your choosing. Then rearrange all 13 letters to spell three related words. What were they? NPR Sunday Puzzle 12/17/23
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My self-driving smart car keeps taking me to the library.
For Saturnalia: When I'm in an elevator: Offer name tags to the other passengers / Practice Tai Chi / Greet on boarding passengers with a hardy handshake / Conduct the passengers in a sing-a-long
..........If only I'd seen that the joke was on me.........Bee Gees with Maurice Gibb …..I Started A Joke
^Although the Scottish were credited with developing the sport of golf that we play today, the earliest concepts of the sport are said to have originated in the Netherlands as early as 1297 A.D. In fact, the name of the sport was derived from the Dutch language, from a game known as kolf or kolven. In kolf, players would hit a small ball towards a predetermined spot. The person who got to the spot with the least amount of strokes was the winner. The game of kolf was also played on ice during the winter and may have influenced the game of hockey as well.
Almanac: It is Friday, December 22, 2023. The moon went into the first quarter last Wednesday (12/19) and is in Taurus. Today is Be a Lover of Silence Day and International Arbor Day.
Among those born on this day were Luca della Robbia (1400), Mary of Lorraine, Queen of Scots (1515), Jean Racine (1639), Rene-Robert Cavelier La Salle (1643), William Ellery (1727), Abigail Adams (1744), Thomas Cook (1808), Franz Wilhelm (1819), George Eliot (Mary Anne Evans, 1819), Frank Kellogg (1856), Giacomo Puccini (1858), Edwin Arlington Robinson (1869), Arthur James Cook (1883), Charles de Gaulle (1890), Hoagy Carmichael (1899), Kenneth Rexroth (1905), Gene Rayburn (1917), Barbara Bilingsley (1922), Geraldine Page (1924), Billie Jean King (1943), Diane Sawyer (1945), Rick Nielsen (Cheap Trick 1945), and Maurice Gibb (1949).
On December twenty-second the Dutch people revolted against meat taxes (1731), the continental navy was organized (7 ships, 1775), Washington's resignation from his commission commander and chief became official (1783), "American Bicycling Journal" was first published (Boston, 1877), the first string of Christmas tree lights were lit (1882), Strindberg's Lycko-Pers Reja premiered (1883), the United States Golf Association formed (NYC, 1894), the first US postal savings stamps were issued (1910), Flanders declared its independence (1917 ~~I think it was from Belgium but I wouldn't swear to it), the US deported Emma Goldman (and 249 other "alien radicals", 1919), the Lincoln Tunnel opened for traffic (1937), W E B Du Bois was elected the first black member of the National Institute of Arts & Letters (1941), the Chipmunk Song reached number one on the charts (1958), Julie Nixon married Dwight Eisenhower (1968), Kurt Waldheim became Secretary-General of the UN (1971), Kenny Jones became The Who's new drummer (1978), Lech Walsea was sworn in as Poland's first popularly elected president (1990), and Italian P.M. Berlusconi resigned (1994).
Night Sky, 12/22: The Moon has passed Jupiter in the last 24 hours. The bright planet now shines to the Moon's right at dusk; upper right of it later. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Fraternal Picture of the Week: Ready to try out the new amphibian bikes.
This Week: Saturday, December 23 – Festivus & Family Roots Day & Human Light Celebration
Sunday, December 24 – Eggnog Day
Night Sky, 12/24: And now the bright gibbous Moon, two days from full, has jumped to the lower left (east) of the Pleiades in early evening. It forms a flattened, nearly isosceles triangle with the Pleiades above it and Aldebaran below. Around 11 pm the Moon shines just about as close to the zenith as you will ever see it (from your mid-northern latitude), "casting lustre of midday on objects below." Your Moon shadow at that time will be the shortest you'll ever see it. Go look.
Monday, December 25 – A'phabet Day aka No “L” Day
Tuesday, December 26 – Kwanzaa begins & Boxing Day & National Thank You Note Day
Wednesday, December 27 – Howdy Doody Day & Visit The Zoo Day
Night Sky, 12/27: Mars is out of sight behind the glare of the Sun. Jupiter, magnitude –2.7 in Aries, is the bright white dot dominating the high southeast to south these evenings. It stands at its highest in the south around 8 pm. It has shrunk a little since opposition, but it's still a good 46 arc-seconds wide in a telescope.
Thursday, December 28 – Endangered Species Act Day & Pledge of Allegiance Day
For Saturnalia: I'm going to order a McDonald's Happy Meal with extra Happy. / Ask my librarian for a book on how to read / Sit on a park bench and have an argument with my stuffed iguana / Wear my false eyelashes as a mustache.
…..The melody haunts my reverie.........Hoagy Carmichael …..Stardust
^^ The person who is closest to the hole putts last. This is one reason why you should use a ball marker. If your ball is in the way of the person who is putting first, use a ball marker so you know where your ball was, otherwise your ball might get hit.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dress your cat in gay apparel. Fa la la la la la la la la Put your life in mortal peril. Fa la la la la la la la
Moonbeam: We have too many high-sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them. --Abigail Adams
Video of the Week: Hoagy Carmichael singing Ole Buttermilk Sky (6:02)
Christmas Question of the Week: Are Christmas trees just regular trees in drag?
On the throne, one has many worries; and remorse is the one that weighs the least. --Jean Racine
For Saturnalia: When I'm on the bus: I'm going to laugh hysterically until I get off. / Have a picnic on the floor – alone or with my stuffed iguana or invite other passengers / My friend and I will play twister. / Hand out homemade cookies
..........Throw away your troubles, dream a dream with me.........Hoagy Carmichael …..Lazy River
^^^ 3 under par is an albatross but also known as a double eagle.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My personal style is best described as “didn't expect to get out of the car”. --Submitted by INRITH
Weird Word of the Week: Rejected OED word of the year 2023: Situationship – A situationship is a romantic or sexual relationship that is undefined and noncommittal. People in a situationship are more than friends but less than committed romantic partners.
Dragon of the Week: This is Crochette the Dragon – created by Carla Parris, the Crocheter
secure in place with Scotch Packaging Tape to avoid painful accidents should anyone trip over the stakes. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bubblewrap2.html
For Saturnalia: At Work: I will cover my desk and everything on it with sticky notes. / Several times a day shout random numbers over my cubicle walls. / Kneel at the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle / If someone asks me to do something, ask them to sign a waiver
...........Put your worries in your pocket.........Bee Gees with Maurice Gibb …..Rest Your Love On Me
^^^^ Ryder Cup: Every two years, 24 of the best players from Europe and the United States go head-to-head in a match play competition. Drama, tension, incredible golf, camaraderie and sportsmanship are served in equal measure, captivating an audience of millions around the world. ~~Not to mention hyperbole
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Do websites in the United Kingdom use biscuits instead of cookies?
Science Fiction Joke of the Week (Because there are no conventions): Space horror is the best horror. What's out there? No one knows. Big rocks, creepy things, sticky things, math! Stuff on fire, big holes, big holes with math in them.
Actual Science Joke of the Week (Because there are no conferences): Just to be clear, if you carefully remove, and lay end-to-end all the veins, arteries, and capillaries of your body, you will die. --Neil deGrasse Tyson
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Winter Season: Add an L. Rearrange the result to spell SNOW, SLEET, and RAIN.
For Saturnalia: At the gym: Go dressed as my favorite superhero / Carry my stuffed iguana in a front body baby carrier / Cry through the entire workout
..........We can take forever just a minute at a time.........Bee Gees with Maurice Gibb …..More Than A Woman
^^^^^ The highest initiation fee to join is the Bridge in Bridgehampton, NY at $750,000 but annual dues are only about $20,000. The Madison Club in La Quinta, California has the highest annual fee at $75,000 but their initiation fee is only $500,000.
Musing of the Week: When a fish is caught and then released, does it describe this to its friends as an alien abduction? ~~Sorry, Joyce and I are watching a National Geographic program about people looking for the giant trevally but they keep catching other giant fish and talking about them and talking about them and letting them go. How very strange this must be for the fish.
Quote of the Week: Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live. --Mark Twain
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Whoville celebrating Christmas means there was a Who Jesus and I can't stop imagining what kind of insane seussical contraption they would have had to crucify people. --Andrew Nadeau --Submitted by IIWSPIBH
Today's Peace of History, December 22, 1993: Operation “Toys for Guns" was begun in New York City through the efforts (and $10,000) of I.M. Rainmaker, CEO of an electronics company. Conceived in cooperation with local police concerned about crime fed by too many guns and the glorification of violence, the program offered a $100 voucher redeemable at Toys ‘R’ Us for a firearm turned in to the police.
For Saturnalia: While Driving: Wear snorkel gear and hang fish from the ceiling of the car / Squeegee the windshield at every stop light / Honk and Wave and Smile as if recognizing the driver at random cars
..........I'm begging you to beg me.........Cheap Trick with Rick Neilsen …..I Want You To Want Me
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, 2023, OI. ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.
Moonbeam: Well, knowledge is a fine thing, and mother Eve thought so; but she smarted so severely for hers, that most of her daughters have been afraid of it since. --Abigail Adams
Cost of War:
- As of 12/21/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $224,477,020,812.
- As of 12/14/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $223,923,660,237.
- As of 12/21/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,186,091,105,532.
- As of 12/14/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,184,545,532,628.
- As of 12/21/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,155,535,350,490.
- As of 12/14/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,154,934,405,285.
- As of 12/21/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,416,136,138,079.
- As of 12/14/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,404,420,318,819.
- As of 12/21/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,060,236,122,392.
- As of 12/14/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,059,062,513,298.
- As of 12/21/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $9,042,479,384,695.
- As of 12/14/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $9,026,888,094,147.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
Can a faith that does nothing be called sincere? --Jean Racine
Famous Last Words: Competent power to congress for general purposes. --George Washington A toast before his resigned his military commission as commander and chief, 1783
..........Farewell, Goodbye, although I'll cry.........Cheap Trick with Rick Nielsen …..Ain't That A Shame
To honor Saturn was to live in harmony with the earth and its inhabitants: For Saturnalia: In Community: No superiors, no hierarchy, / Treat everyone as equal to yourself, everyone / Buy Christmas presents for the pets / Drink one for me...
May
Peace attend your weekend
And
Joy attend your holidays
prairie
mama
christine
Last Laugh:
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