Famous First Words: Death, be not proud... --John Donne Death Be Not Proud
The old year is dying; let's have some fun. There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. The living are getting rarer. --Eugene Ionesco / Whether glass coffins will be successful remains to be seen.
On December 29, 1845, Texas was admitted as the 28th state. Another reason for a good belly laugh at death's expense.
Happy New Year! - English
There are 10 Happy New Year greetings; they are, in order, the 10 most common languages spoken in the US, according to Babble.
.........The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night.........Louis Armstrong …..What A Wonderful World
Since wars begin in the minds of men, it is in the minds of men that the defenses of peace must be constructed. --Preamble to the Constitution of UNESCO
It is clear, cold (35°F) Friday morning. There is little breeze to move the bare limbs of winter trees but birds are hopping around those limbs and chirping merrily. Only the stately oak two backyards over still has leaves. They are brown and bushy and still. The brightest color is the faux redwood privacy fence in another neighbor's yard; the sun picks up the stain in the wood and brightens it. There is no green, not a pine or juniper. The sky, however, is a creamy azure without a cloud to hide its morning freshness. The happy flock of chripers has moved on and the world is very quiet. No cars are revving up, no trucks are passing by. Only the hum of my computer and the click of my fingers on the keyboard comes to my ear; oh, and the occasional snort from the sleeping Puck. I stop for a moment and just listen to the silence. But it is morning and soon the household wakes and human sounds abound and the cat gives the humans reasons to make noise. I take a slow gulp of Cinnamon Supreme. It was a delicious Christmas gift that doesn't smell hot but tastes very cinnamony. So far, it seems like it's gonna be a great day.
It's New Year's Weekend, ePistliers, go out there and live, live, LIVE! (paraphrasing Auntie Mame)
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In America you call it the Alt Right. In Germany we call it “Why grandpapa lives in Argentina now”. --SNL
I hope we stay friends until we die. Then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people. / A pillow fight with Death has reaper cushions.
¡Feliz Año Nuevo! - Spanish
..........I loved them all.........The Beatles …..In My Life
Trivia Questions: 2023 Highlights
- ^ Who broke Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's NBA career record of 38.387 points?
- ^^ For how long did the Chinese spy balloon travel across the US and Canada before we shot it down?
- ^^^ Who won a) the Super Bowl b) March Madness c) The NBA Championship d) WNBA Championship?
- ^^^^ What play won the Tony for best Musical?
- ^^^^^ Which artist won 4 Grammys this year to break the all time career record?
Nerd Happy New Year: Merin sa haryalye alasse! -- Tolkien's Elvish
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Your confederate flag was made in China. --Submitted by bc of tx
Image of the Week: My stuffed iguana … you thought those were just jokes, didn't you?
Life
is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's
troublesome. --Isaac Asimov / Schedule my funeral for the
afternoon; I've never been a mourning person.
Shin-nyen kwhy-ler - Chinese
..........I pick myself up and get back in the race.........Frank Sinatra …..That's Life
Moonbeam: I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do. --Paula Poundstone
Question of the Week: If you could build anything, what would it be? https://www.teachingexpertise.com/classroom-ideas/funny-philosophical-questions/
Puzzle of the Week: From listener Samantha Robison, of Eugene, OR. Think of a word that means "required." Rearrange its letters to name two school subjects, one of which is often required, and one of which often isn't. What were they? NPR Sunday Puzzle 12/25/23
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's not an empty nest until they get their stuff out of the basement.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily as lying down. --Woody Allen / My crematorium will be my last chance at a smoking hot body.
On December 29, 1988 the Victorian Post Office Museum in Australia closed. All those Victorians dead is another reason to shame Death.
Maligayang bagong Taon - Tagalog
..........everything all the time.........The Eagles …..Life In The Fast Lane
^ LeBron James broke Kareem's record and has logged 39,258 total points as of December 19, 2023, which is an incredible feat.
Almanac: It is Friday, December 29, 2023. The moon was full (Cold) last Wednesday (12/27) and is in Leo. It is World Anti-penultimate Day. It is also Tick Sock Day, and YMCA Day; also Texas celebrates (or not) Admission Day (1845).
Among those born on this day were Wagner (1678), Madame De Pompadour (Jeanne Antoinette Poisson, 1721), Charles Goodyear (1800), William E Gladstone (1809), Elisabeth (queen of Romania, 1843), Tomas Breton y Hernandez (1850), Pablo Casals (1876), Charles L Harness (1915), Dina Merrill (1925), Mary Tyler Moore (1936), Jon Voight (1938), Ted Danson (1947), and Paula Poundstone (1959).
On December twenty ninth Jolyot's Idomeneo premiered (Paris, 1705), the US's first nautical almanac was published (1782), the steam powered threshing machine was patented (1837), the first YMCA opened (Boston, 1851), the bowling ball was invented (1862), a brokerage firm first used the telegraph ticker (1867), the San Francisco Symphony was formed (1911), the first collegiate basketball doubleheader was held (NYC, 1934), Lorca's Yerma premiered (1934), construction on the Seattle Lake Washington Floating Bridge began (1938), Canada recognized Israel (1948), at age 13 Streisand recorded her first song (1955), and Thunderball premiered in the US (1965),
Night Sky, 12/29:This is the time of year when M31, the Andromeda Galaxy, passes your zenith soon after dark (if you live in the mid-northern latitudes). The exact time depends on your longitude. Binoculars will show M31 as a small, dim gray elongated glow just off the knee of the Andromeda constellation's stick figure http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max and Ollie got a car for Christmas. Now Ollie won't have to ride his bike in the snow.
This Week: Saturday, December 30 – Bacon Day & Falling Needles Family Fest Day
Sunday, December 31 – Hogmanay & Make Up Your Mind Day & National Champagne Day & New Year's Eve
Night Sky,12/31: After the noise and celebration at the turning of midnight tonight, step outside into the silent, cold dark. The waning gibbous Moon will be shining high in the east, with the Sickle of Leo floating about a fist at arm's length above it. In the south Sirius will be shining at its highest, with the other bright stars of Canis Major to its right and below.
Monday, January 1 – World Day of Peace & Copyright Law Day & Polar Bear Plunge & New Years Day
Tuesday, January 2 – National Science Fiction Day & Earth at Perihelion
Wednesday, January 3 – Festival of Sleep Day & J R R Tolkien Day & Memento Mori “Remember You Die” Day
Night Sky, 1/3: The Quadrantids have a much shorter peak than other meteor showers, lasting for just six hours before its intensity rapidly drops off. In 2024, the peak will occur in the early hours of 4 January. At its peak, and in ideal viewing conditions, up to 110 meteors and bright fireballs can be seen per hour, with the particles entering Earth’s atmosphere at around 40 kilometers per second. More information
Thursday, January 4 – World Braille Day & Trivia Day & World Hypnotism Day
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. --Yogi Berra / I thought she might be sick but the will was a dead give away.
On December 29, 1983, the US withdrew from UNESCO. Another reason to ridicule death.
chúc mừng năm mới - Vietnamese
..........Come on let's live girl..........Kate Bush …..Jig Of Life
^^ From January 28 to February 4, 2023, a high-altitude balloon originating from China flew across North American airspace, including Alaska, western Canada, and the contiguous United States. On February 4, the U.S. Air Force shot down the balloon over U.S. territorial waters off the coast of South Carolina. That's 7 day or 1 week
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out. --Submitted by PsyDe
Moonbeam: When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome. --Paula Poundstone
Complaint of the Week: I have been complaining that the Guaranteed Rate Bowl (formerly the sanely named Cactus Bowl) was a stupid name. But then I noticed that Kansas State is playing in the Pop-Tarts Bowl. Clicking will get you images of the trophies involved; 'cause who doesn't what a trophy with a picture of pop-tarts on it to honor their hard work and talent.
Video of the Week: The Smothers Brothers – Draft Dodgers Rag (2:34) ~~We'll miss you, Tom. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08DnYRJhHks
Peace is much more than the end of armed conflict. ...UNESCO The Culture of Peace
I intend to live forever, or die trying. --Groucho Marx / Cryptocurrency is for skeletons and ghosts.
On December 29, 1170 Thomas a Becket was assassinated at the request of Henry II. Another reason to laugh at death.
Bonne Année - French
..........Without love it ain't much.........Sheila E …..The Glamorous Life
^^^ Superbowl) KC Chiefs March Madness) UCONN NBA) Denver Nuggets WNBA) Las Vegas Aces
Quote of the Week: Oh, goodie, another week in which I have no idea what day it is. --Christine
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: ...I'm gonna slap you so hard not even Google will be able to find you.
Weird Word of the Week: 2023 Rejected OED Word of the Year ...our final reject is Swiftie – a Taylor Swift fan. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swifties
Dragon of the Week: The Chinese New Year will be on the 10th of February, 2024.
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Avoid blisters and make rakes, shovels, and hoes easier to handle. Wrap the tool handles with Bubble Wrap secured in place with Scotch Packaging Tape. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bubblewrap2.html
I’m a Frisbeetarian. We believe that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and you can’t get it down. -- Steve Martin / The grave diggers I've met were all very deadicated.
On December 29, 1997 Orville Lynn Majors was taken into custody and charged with murdering 7 people by injecting them with heart stopping drugs. (He was convicted of 6 and sentenced to 360 years in prison.) Another reason to point fingers at death, a creature with good death perception
Te Tau Hou - Arabic
...........You gotta do what you gotta do..........Alicia Keys …..The Life
^^^^ Best Musical Tony: Kimberly Akimbo....Runners Up: & Juliet, New York, NewYork, Shocked, and Some Like It Hot
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 23.8069758 is the root of all evil. --Submitted by FNOG
Science Fiction Quote of the Week: Science fiction is no more written for scientists than ghost stories are written for ghosts. --Brian Aldiss
Actual Science Quote of the Week: Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it. --Albert Einstein
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: OBLIGATORY --> BIOLOGY, ART
To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. --J K Rowling / Don't allow a job to stress you out because your job will be posted online before your obituary.
saehae bok mani badeuseyo - Korean
..........I want to ride it all night long.........Rascal Flatts …..Life Is A Highway
^^^^^ Beyoncė made history winning 4 Grammys; She has the most with a career total of 32.
Discussion Topic of the Week: What gives you goosebumps?
Disclaimer of the Week: I am not dying. However, I'm going to be 80 here soon, and that puts one eye to eye with Death even if it's not an immediate threat. Actually, I am thinking of writing a short play about death. An old person is dying. First he has to convince the children he really is dying and not just pulling a Fred Sanford. Then various people from his life come to visit him ...or her; but the rule is everybody who comes in – every time – has to tell a joke about death. So, I've been collecting death jokes since then and welcome any that you might have. Thank you.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Let the kids believe in Santa. We all believed in our first marriages. --Submitted by RHOZ
Today's Peace of History, December 29, 1852: Emma Snodgrass was arrested in Boston for wearing pants. She also visited (and was arrested in) Portsmouth, New Hampshire, in Albany, New York City, and Buffalo... each time for dressing as a man.
If you die in an elevator, be sure and push the up button. --Sam Levenson / The mortician's job is to make you feel as though you are dead gorgeous.
С Новым Годом! С новым счастьем! - Russian
..........Teach her life's a long flat road.........Oleta Adams …..Rhythm Of Life
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, December 29, 2023, eXpired ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.
Moonbeam: When we save the rainforest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. --Paula Poundstone
Cost of War:
- As of 12/28/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $225,030,178,822.
- As of 12/21/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $224,477,020,812.
- As of 12/28/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,187,636,095,212.
- As of 12/21/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,186,091,105,532.
- As of 12/28/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,156,136,285,818.
- As of 12/21/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,155,535,350,490.
- As of 12/28/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,427,847,513,578.
- As of 12/21/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,416,136,138,079.
- As of 12/28/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,061,409,053,926.
- As of 12/21/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,060,236,122,392.
- As of 12/28/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $9,058,060,012,467.
- As of 12/21/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $9,042,479,384,695.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
Peace is reverence for life. Peace is a mode of behavior. Peace is the most precious possession of humanity. --UNESCO Yamoussoukro Declaration
Famous Last Words: Death, thou shalt die. --John Donne Death Be Not Proud (It just seemed appropriate.)
..........all the people living life in peace.........John Lennon …..Imagine
Frohes neues Jahr - German
On December 29, 1972, Life magazine stopped publishing. Another reason to have a laugh at death's expense.
The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. --Joshua Burns. / I know how it will end, one of my kids will unplug my life support to charge their phone. / All these death jokes are tomb much.
May Peace be with you always
And Joy live by your side
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:
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