ePistolary vIsions

 Famous First Words: When do you suppose the big row will come off? --International Congress of Women, 4/28-30, 1915

Because it is the last weekend in April it is National Dream Hotline weekend. What is my dream job: Oh, in my dreams I don't work. / I had a dream last night that I was vacuuming with the grim reaper. I was Dyson with death.

..........Sunbeams will soon smile through..........Donald O'Connor …...Good Morning

The best form of government is that which is most likely to prevent the greatest sum of evil. --James Monroe

It is a cloudy Friday morning. The sky is almost completely covered with thin white puffs and yet the sun finds cracks and holes to shine on my backyard. I have returned from the doctor (routine, I'm fine) and I'm snarfing down a breakfast biscuit while watching spring roll gently by outside my window. There is just enough breeze to make the willow branches swing but not enough to make the young mulberry tree budge. It is already 59°F - a near perfect morning temperature. The crows have come and gone so only the quarreling of sparrows fills the air. Veronica keeps a close eye on the sparrows at the feeder and also hopping around in the grass. I take a long sip of the coffee that has waited for me to return home. It smells of cream and caffeine and ambition. Alas, it is decaf and the promised ambition is missing.

Hope your weekend is a dream come true, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Favorite Earth Day Sign – Wake Up and Smell the Permafrost

Stalin appears to Putin in a dream. “Why is everything here so bad?” asks Putin, “what can I do to make Russia great again?” “Stalin replies, “Execute half of your population and paint the Kremlin blue.” “Why blue?” asks the inquisitive Putin. “I knew you wouldn't object to the first part,” says Stalin. / Sweet dreams are made of cheese. Who am I to diss-a-Brie? I cheddar the world and the feta cheese, everybody's looking for Stilton.

..........But Moses supposes erroneously..........Donald O'Connor …...Moses Supposes

Trivia Questions: Happy Arbor Day – Go plant a tree...I'll wait

• ^ When or where was the first Arbor Day in the US celebrated?
• ^^ Would you care to guess how many trees were planted on this very first Arbor Day?
• ^^^ Why was the name Arbor Day selected over Sylvan Day?
• ^^^^ How many countries celebrate Arbor Day?
• ^^^^^ Where or when was the first Arbor Day anywhere?

Big Hello: Ayukii – Karuk (Northern California) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Heard of the Week: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I come in again? --Modern Family

Image of the Week: Lawrence KS Earth Day Farmer's Market

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 35% of library fax machines are programmed to skip every fifth page. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

My partner told me he had dreams of me making love to Brad Pitt. It's sweet of him to think of my happiness. / We finally made Grandma's dream come true. She always wanted to go to medical school and she did – as a cadaver.

..........You were all the sweet things rolled up in one..........Donald O'Connor …...You Were Meant For Me

Moonbeam: The determination of the relationship and mutual dependence of the facts in particular cases must be the first goal of the Physicist; and for this purpose he requires that an exact measurement may be taken in an equally invariable manner anywhere in the world… Also, the history of electricity yields a well-known truth—that the physicist shirking measurement only plays, different from children only in the nature of his game and the construction of his toys. --Franz Karl Achard

Question of the Week: Are we allowed to daydream at night?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Jan Brooksby: Think of a common 8-letter word, in which the first three letters spell a word, and the fifth, sixth, and seventh letters also spell a word. These two little words mean the same thing. The fourth letter, when rotated 180°, becomes the eighth letter. What word was this? NPR Sunday Puzzle 4/23/23

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My emotional support dog ate my comfort food. --speedbump.com

I just woke up from a dream about Roman numerals marching along 1,5,1,5,500. It was VIVID. / We bought our new dream house and I was showing our 4 year old around. She asked excitedly, “What's upstairs?” I just shook my head and replied, “Aw, sweetie, stairs don't talk?”

..........I could jump over the moon up above..........Donald O'Connor …...Fit As A Fiddle

^ The first US Arbor Day was celebrated on April 10, 1872 in Nebraska. It was proposed by the secretary of the Nebraska Territory, J Sterling Morton.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 28, 2023. The moon went into the first quarter yesterday and is in Leo. The United Nations has declared this World Day for Safety and Health at Work. It is also Biological Clock Day, Brave Hearts Day, National Teach Your Children To Save Day, and Workers Memorial Day. In Maryland it is Ratification Day (1788). Because it is the last Friday of April, it is Arbor Day and National Hairball Awareness Day.

Among those born on this day were Edward IV (1442), Lorenz Ott (1748), Franz Achard (1753), James Monroe (1758), Francis Baily (1774), Tobias Carel Asser (1838), Johann Backlund (1846), Sidney Toler (1874), Lionel Barrymore (Herbert Blythe, 1878), Jan Hendrik Oort (1900), Robert Anderson (1917), Donald O'Connor (1925), Harper Lee (1926), Carolyn Jones (1929), Oliver Jackson (Bops Jr, 1933), Ann Margaret (Olsson, 1941), John Creighton (1943), Jerome Apt (Jay, 1949), Jay Leon (1950), Paul Lockhart (1956), and Leopold Eyharts (1957).

On April twenty-eighth parliament demanded supervision of royal spending (1376), Mutiny broke out on the HMS Bounty (1789), French colonies freed their last slaves (1848), Dvorak's Carneval premiered (1892), the air conditioner was patented (1914), the first commercial flight across the Pacific took off (1937), Thor Heyerdahl in the Kon-Tiki set sail from Peru for Polynesia (1947), Charles de Gaulle resigned as president of France (1969), the last Americans were evacuated from Saigon (1975), Billy Martin was named Yankee manager for the fourth time (1985), Chernobyl had a melt down (1986), space shuttle Discovery 12 was launched (STS 30, 1991), and Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (1999).

Night Sky 4/29 : The Moon shines high toward the south-southwest after dark. It's hanging off the crook of the Leo Sickle, which is nearly upright. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week A: Ollie meets Shrek and Pinocchio and Fiona.

Fraternal Picture of the Week B: Max at his first T-ball game – The Little Harbor Company

This Week: Saturday, April 29 – Bob Wills** Day & Independent Bookstore Day & International Sculpture Day ** Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys My Little Home in San Antone

Sunday, April 30 – Beltane & National First Ladies Day & National Honesty Day

Night Sky, 4/30: Face north just after nightfall, look very high, and you'll find the Pointers, the end stars of the Big Dipper's bowl, on the meridian pointing toward Polaris straight down below. From the Pointers to Polaris is about three fists at arm's length.

Monday, May 1 – Beltane & May Day & Global Love Day & Hug Your Cat Day & Mother Goose Day

Tuesday, May 2 – Foster Care Day & International Harry Potter Day & World Tuna Day

Wednesday, May 3 – Public Radio Day & Wild Koala Day & World Press Freedom Day

Night Sky, 5/3: Mars is crossing central Gemini this week. Look for it high in the west in early evening, lower later. It's upper left of Venus by about three fists at arm's length, and it's below Pollux and Castor. Mars shows a slightly deeper orange tint. It is drawing closer to Pollux and Castor and will line up with them, to their left, on the evening of May 16th.

Thursday, May 4 – Intergalactic Star Wars Day – May the Fourth Be With You & International Respect For Chickens Day

Ever have one of those dreams where you're weightless? 0mg. / It's been a long-term dream to convert a lighthouse; but the project has been off and on for years now.

.........Just slip on a banana peel the world's at your feet..........Donald O'Connor …...Make 'Em Laugh

^^ It's estimated that over 1 million trees were planted in Nebraska on the first Arbor Day.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The best time to plant a tree was 100 years ago. The second best time? Today! --Mike H Odetalia --Submitted by bd of ny

Moonbeam: Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity. --Thor Heyerdahl

Video of the Week: Donald O'Connor singing Make Em Laugh from Singing In The Rain https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUmQoYECogA (3:26)

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: The white house is surrounded, of course, by high tech security but a two year old master criminal figured out you could just slip through the bars in the fence. The toddler's parents ... yelling for help while thinking we could just run. He'd be raised by the president and we could go to restaurants again. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 4/22/23

It was by one Union that we achieved our independence and liberties, and by it alone can they be maintained. --James Monroe

We're the Dream Team – everyone of us has been caught sleeping at work. / Yo papa's so fat even his hopes and dreams are on weight watchers.

..........You're the cat's meow..........Donald O'Connor …...All I Do Is Dream Of You

^^^ Arbor Day was almost called Sylvan Day, coming from the Latin word “Silva,” meaning “of the forest” or “woodland.” J. Sterling Morton decided against this name because he wanted to include all types of trees, not just forest trees.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: This is America – where you are free to be shot if you ring the wrong doorbell or pull into the wrong driveway. --Submitted by Thoughts From Aisle 4

Weird Word of the Week: Christofascism – a distortion of Christianity that denotes an intersection between fascism and Christianity. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Christofascist

Dragon of the Week: The Sneinton Dragon of Nottingham --Submitted by vr of TH

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent a cake from sticking to the pan. When you take the pan out of the oven, place it on a damp sheet of Bounty Paper Towel for several minutes. The dampness cools the pan and the cake, averting a sticky mess. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty.html

I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right. The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he opens the other door and jumps onto the other horse. Just before he rode off, I yelled out, "What was all that about?" He replied, "Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through." / I didn't snore. I was just dreaming I'm an engine.

...........Let's dance away the blues..........Donald O'Connor …...Something To Dance About

^^^^ Today, at least 44 countries worldwide celebrate Arbor Day.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dear Earth, We are sorry for everything and will try to do better. Signed, A lot of people who care.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Oz-Con (28-30, West Plains, MO) ..a gaming, cosplay and anime convention nestled in the Ozarks. https://oz-con.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Power & Electrical Engineering (26-28, St Petersburg, Russia) ...a focus on electrical and electronic devices. https://www.tradefairdates.com/Power+%26+Electrical+Engineering-M11220/Saint+Petersburg.html

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Shepherd

Last night I had a dream that I could see a new color I'd never seen before. It was a pigment of my imagination. / I was rejected from my dream art school because I used the wrong pencil. I guess it wasn't meant 2B.

..........I keep tossing in my sleep at night..........Donald O'Connor …...You're Just In Love

^^^^^ The first documented Arbor Day was celebrated in the Spanish village of Mondoñedo in 1594! They planted lime and horse-chestnut trees.

My Own Writing of the Week: What are you thinking? You know that annoying question that women (usually) ask of men (usually) after sex, "What are you thinking?..Penny for your thoughts". I've asked that question myself. Analysis suggests that I did this when he had gotten off and I had not. If I had climaxed, I would be on the same thoughtless plane. Then I wouldn't give a sh*t. And the thoughtless place is where we all want to be, after all - sacred orgasm! I may have faked it or I may not have bothered, but I didn't make it. And the question was an attempt, I believe, to share that place, that thoughtless place. I apologize to any poor soul of whom I asked this.

I would be hard pressed to describe my mental activity after orgasm: "I'm thinking about red rushes and these filmy, fleeting dream images in black and white and the aftershocks in my groin demand attention now and again and a near blinding white light emits from my eyes when I open them. Oh, yeah, and there is this sensational sensation of floating that goes away if I think. Why? What are you thinking?"

Sex isn't sex until you both cross the finish line. Until then, it's a favor.

Let me introduce you to my Vibrator Team. The captain is a sleek and simple, lavender phallic, Armand. He is smooth and dignified with a European flair and a motor he sacrificed early in his career. There is Inanna, who is round and ribbed and rechargeable but with a sturdy handle. Next is the Fox who is small, concentrated and electric. The fox runs special teams when a small space needs extended care. And finally, sparkle, the tiny toss-away with a shag surface that messages any small area to complete relaxation. I generally refer to them as the fantastic four.

AIDS was a serious blow to the sexual revolution. Suddenly one had to ask embarrassing questions and worry about layers of protection. The life of love 'em and leave 'em began to be rocky and unsustainable. On the Negative Side was a much smaller pool to pick from. Positives included a new and awesome reason to seduce virgins.

I hate condoms and I know they are even worse for men. Most men are clueless enough about what to do with them when they are on the penis; after they are off - they have even less idea of what could be considered appropriate. Someone please publish a piece on condom etiquette. This is one of the lowlights of single life.

AIDS has taken several of my friends, one a prolific and amazing letter writer. Worst of all, AIDS gave the cult of virginity new life. The cult of virginity exists within Christianity as well as other patriarchal religions. The oppressive restriction of a girl's sexuality assumes that women are property and that their bodies are property and that their sexuality is property and their thoughts are property and their feelings are property to be prescribed by someone outside of that body and mind who does or will someday own it. Also it doesn't allow either gender to feel the upholstery before buying the car.

A friend of mine told me that a classmate of hers at medical school was a virgin. I was appalled. I never want to take some complaint or other to a doctor only to find out she doesn't even have the basic human experiences that the rest of us have.

Techniques from Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: We look at the world once, in childhood. The rest is memory. --Louise Glück

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just as talking about sex won't make you pregnant, talking about death won't make you dead. --Jon Underwood --Submitted by msh of bc

Today's Peace of History: April 28, 1978: At the Rocky Flats nuclear weapons facility, near Denver, over 5,000 protested and nearly 300 were arrested over the following eight months for blocking railroad tracks entering the plant where plutonium bombs used as detonators in hydrogen bombs were produced.

According to my dream journal, Scarlett Johansson has made 6 appearances this year. But it might be 7; some pages are stuck together. / A woman interrupted the doctor's examination of a patient. She yelled, “Doctor, help me. I keep dreaming I'm a deck of cards.” The doctor mastered all the patience she could and said, “I'll deal with you later.”

..........Come on with the rain, I've a smile on my face..........Donald O'Connor …...Singing In The Rain

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle April 28, 2023, ePistolary visions. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: There is nothing as dreamy and poetic, nothing as radical, subversive, and psychedelic, as mathematics. --Paul Lockhart

Cost of War:

• As of 04/27/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $205,560,144,658.
• As of 04/20/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $205,015,599,963.
• As of 04/27/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,133,254,306,406.
• As of 04/20/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,131,733,384,498.
• As of 04/27/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,134,987,817,248.
• As of 04/20/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,134,189,197,657.
• As of 04/27/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,015,620,222,359.
• As of 04/20/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,004,091,272,664.
• As of 04/27/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,020,119,176,909.
• As of 04/20/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,018,964,430,400.
• As of 04/27/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,509,543,226,867.
• As of 04/20/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,494,203,489,653.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Preparation for war is a constant stimulus to suspicion and ill will. --James Monroe

Famous Last Words: He would be there until Jem waked up in the morning. --Harper Lee To Kill A Mockingbird

..........There's nothing more to say..........Donald O'Connor …...It's A Lovely Day Today ##Disclaimer: Other people sang some of these songs, but the lyrics were likely written by O'Connor.

I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Alas, it was just a Fanta Sea. / Millennials dream about owning a house, but it's a surreal estate.

May Peace sweeten your life

And Joy perfume your dreams

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: Veronica as the Grey Mouser