Friday, April 7, 2023

hOppy ePistle

Famous First Words: The world is too much with us; late and soon --William Wordsworth The World Is Too Much With Us

It is National Beer Day: If you hold your beer glass close to your ear you can hear the weekend. AND No Housework Day: I dusted once; it came right back. I'm not falling for that again.

..........Preachers of equality think they believe it.........Janis Ian …..Society's Child

If only I may grow firmer, simpler, quieter, warmer. --Dag Hammarskjold

It is an absolutely clear Friday morning. The sky is dark blue without a single cloud or jet trail to scar it. There is little wind to make the greening willow branches dance; so they just wave lightly as a salute to the day. Birds are busy; they sweep across the skyline and land on the roof where the sun projects their shadows onto the storage shed. There is a chill in the air (39°F) but the birds are singing to encourage the sun to warm the land. Several different bird songs can be heard, one is in staccato chirps, another in piercing cries, and in the distance there is the quarreling of a quarrel of sparrows. I sit at my computer while Puck sleeps in his bed. My Chocolate Hazelnut coffee warms my face as I inhale the steam and sip the warmth. Ah, a crow has just flown to the very top of the willow apparently to reenact the King of the World scene from Titanic. I think it's time for me to stop and send this ePistle.

Hope your weekend is full of cheer and empty of housework, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: God sent the rainbow to Noah; does that mean Noah was gay?

Keep your circle small and your beer cold. / Housework – nobody notices if you do it but everybody notices if you don't.

..........and high school girls with clear-skinned smiles.........Janis Ian …..At Seventeen

Trivia Questions: Happy National Cereal Day !

  • ^ On whom did John Harvey Kellogg test his initial versions of corn flakes?
  • ^^ Which breakfast cereal's advertisement became a Kurt Vonnegut book title?
  • ^^^ What YouTube Cheerios commercial sparked so much outrage among viewers?
  • ^^^^ Which fourth character briefly joined Snap, Crackle, and Pop in Rice Krispies commercials?
  • ^^^^^ Which cereal is the least nutritious in all the land, according to the website Eat This, Not That?

Big Hello: Toi – Kam (China) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We'll be four horsemen deep into Apocalypse... Submitted by SDS

Image of the Week: Strong Hall, c. 1971

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 19% of librarians consider themselves a part of the resistance...against their library's administration. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Beer is never the answer but it's a good way of forgetting the question. / I have days when I just feel like throwing in the towel; but it just means more laundry,

..........And for a dime I can talk to god - dial-a-prayer.........Janis Ian …..In The Winter

Moonbeam: A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. --Walter Winchell

Thought of the Week: When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil. --Jack Handey

OMG Moment of the Week: Joyce and I were browsing through Zillow (mostly being righteously indignant about the prices) when we came across 1916 Louisiana. This is Alice Leonard's house. It has a vast yard, a small greenhouse, 4 bedrooms and 2 baths. It's old and needs a lot of updating. I learned to love college basketball in that house the year that Spanarkle lost to Duke, I think, 1979, maybe?

Puzzle of the Week: From Katherine Keniston: Name two brands of household products, each in three syllables. All of the syllables in the two brands rhyme with each other. That is, the first syllable in the first brand rhymes with the first syllable in the second brand, the second syllables in the two brands rhyme, and the third syllables rhyme. What brand names are these?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Mankind invented the atomic bomb, but no mouse would ever construct a mousetrap. --Albert Einstein

By now the beer ought to know enough to come out of the store when I honk. / Housework only comes before quilting in the dictionary.

..........They make me wonder where you are.........Janis Ian …..Stars

^ Dr, Kellogg and his brother discovered the formula for corn flakes when trying to come up with vegetarian foods for the patients at the sanitarium where he worked. Incidentally, a patient named C W Post went on to release his own version of the corn flakes.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 7, 2023. The moon was full (Pink) yesterday (4/6) and is in Scorpio. The UN has declared this International Day of Reflection on the Genocide in Rwanda (A/RES/58/234). The UN has also declared this World Health Day (WHO) (WHA/A.2/Res.35). It is National Be Heard Day, National Cereal Day, National Crown Roast of Pork Day, and Unique Names Day.

Among those born on this day were Francis Xavier (1506), Gerard Dou (1613), Ferdinand van Kessel (1648), Michel Adanson (1727), William Wordsworth (1770), William Rufus DeVane Ding (Democrat, 1786), Flora Tristan (1803), Jozef Neuhuys (1841), WK Kellogg (1860), Irene Castle & Allan Dulles (1893), Walter Winchell (1897), Billie Holiday (Eleanora Fagan, 1915), Terrance Edward Armstrong & Ravi Shankar (1920), James Garner (Scott Bumgarner, 1928), Donald Barthelme (1931), Jerry Brown Jr (Edmund G, 1938), Francis Ford Coppola (1939), Mick Abrahams (1943), Spencer Dryden (1943), Bill Kreutzmann (1946), John Oates (1949), Janis Ian (Janis Eddy Fink, 1951), Jackie Chan (1954), and Peggy Clasen (1969).

On April seventh Prague University was formed (1348), Cape Town was settled (1652), a slave revolt took place in NYC (1712), Bach's John Passion premiered (1724), the Territory of Mississippi was organized (1798), Beethoven conducted the premier of his Eroica (1805), Walker invented wooden matches (1827), Nebraska introduced the 8 hour work day (1891), Seals Stadium opened in San Francisco (1931), Italy annexed Albania (1939), Booker T Washington became the first black person on a US postage stamp (1940), the World Health Organization was established by the UN (1948), the American Bowling Congress began hosting masters tournaments (1951), Dag Hammarskjold was elected 2nd General-Secretary of the UN (1953), New York's electric trolleys were retired (1957), Oklahoma ended prohibition (1959), Effects of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-moon Marigolds premiered (1970), the US broke relations with Iran (1980), Russian began recalling troops from Afghanistan (1988), and the Vatican finally acknowledged the Holocaust (1994).

Night Sky, 4/7 : Mercury is now in easy view in late twilight far to the lower right of Venus. And once the sky is dark enough, spot the Pleiades above Venus. They're closing in on each other! http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: In the world of safe hues, like black, red, and white, yellow shouts: Look at me. I'm happy. --Joy Sewing

This Week: Saturday, April 8 – Draw A Bird Day & World Circus Day

Sunday, April 9 – Easter Sunday & National Cherish An Antique Day & Plum Pudding Day

Night Sky, 4/9: The waning gibbous Moon rises around midnight tonight, closely accompanied by orange Antares. By the time dawn begins Monday morning, they're well up in the south.

Monday, April 10 – National Farm Animals Day & Safety Pin Day & ASPCA Day

Tuesday, April 11 – Barbershop Quartet Day & National Pet Day & National Be Kind To Lawyers Day

Wednesday, April 12 – Big Wind Day & Nation D.E.A.R. (Drop Everything And Read)

Night Sky, 4/12: The last-quarter Moon rises as late as about 3 am daylight-saving time, depending on your location. (The Moon is exactly last quarter at 5:11 am Thursday morning EDT.) Before the first light of dawn begins on Thursday, look upper right of the Moon for the Sagittarius Teapot sitting almost level.

Thursday, April 13 – International Plant Appreciation Day & Make Lunch Count Day & Scrabble Day

Physicists drink beer with ein stein. / The house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.

..........Honey, would you sing it just for me.........Janis Ian …..Bright Lights and Promises

^^ Wheaties trademarked the slogan: Breakfast of Champions in 1936 and it still appears on every box. Kurt Vonnegut's book was published in 1973.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm starting to think I will never be old enough to know better. --Submitted by bc of tx

Moonbeam: Endings are elusive, middles are nowhere to be found, but worst of all is to begin, to begin, to begin. --Donald Barthelme

Video of the Week: Billie Holiday singing Strange Fruit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Web007rzSOI ~~Warning, it's pretty intense.

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Well, we lost half a day of skiing. --Gweneth Paltrow ...the glamorous star of Shallow Hal. ... Now that she's been gwendicated will she have a gwenasaissance? --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 4/1/23

Freedom from fear could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. --Dag Hammarskjold

The Cydesdale gave the pony a glass of water because she was a little horse. / Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? --Phyllis Diller

..........Now am I humble, who once was proud.........Janis Ian …..Light A Light

^^^ The ad featured an interracial couple. It garnered so many hateful comments that Cheerios had to disable the comments section. And this was in 2013, folks.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I have lit the fire and danced in the ashes of every bridge I ever burned. I fear no hell from you. --Nicole Lyons

Weird Word of the Week: Coddiwomple – to travel in a purposeful manner towards a vague destination. https://adventurediary.co/coddiwomple-definition/

Dragon of the Week: The Beer Dragon

Apology of the Week: After several weeks of things you can do with new or used Bounce Dryer Sheets, I found this: Some people love the scent, but unfortunately, dryer sheets can contain harmful chemicals that adhere to clothes, vent into the air, and rub off on your skin.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean the inside of a microwave oven. Saturate a sheet of Bounty Paper Towel with water, place the towel in the microwave, and heat on high for 4 minutes. Let the paper towel cool and use it to wipe down the inside of the microwave oven. https://

www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty.html

Coasters are for people who actually put their beer down. / Lifting your legs while I'm vacuuming is NOT considered helping with the housework.

...........I'll bet you in the morning you won't even know I'm gone.........Janis Ian …..The Other Side Of The Sun

^^^^ Pow, who appeared in the 1950s, was supposed to explain the nutritional benefits of Rice Krispies, but the powers that be decided he wasn't really needed. Snap, Crackle, and Pop have been on the job since the 1930s.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I child-proofed my house, but they keep getting back in. --Submitted by ff of ks

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Kanpai!Con (7-9, Omaha, NE) Kanpai!Con is a community-focused annual Japanese cultural appreciation convention. https://kanpaicon.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: IIER International Conference on Applied Physics and Mathematics (ICAPM) (8th, Nagoya, Japan) to foster communication among researchers and practitioners working in a wide variety of scientific areas... https://www.allconferencealert.com/event-detail.html?ev_id=927702&eventname=1528th-iier-international-conference-on-applied-physics-and-mathematics-(icapm)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Listerine and Mr Clean

Life and Beer are very similar. Chill for best results. / My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator, let it be.

..........Don't you know too much already.........Janis Ian …..When The Party's Over

^^^^^ Honey Smacks: 60% of Honey Smacks calories come from sugar. Plus, a normal serving includes only a paltry 2 grams of fiber. Yikes!

My Own Writing of the Week: I promised, dear reader, that I only wrote on days when I have had an orgasm; other days I edited or read or was grumpy doing something else. This is really a promise to myself. I'm much pleasanter company after an orgasm – most people are; and I want this read to be pleasant, really, really pleasant.

I am in my 70s now. I've been having orgasms for over 60 years. My first was when I was 12, alone in my bedroom with a makeshift dildo and a rickety fantasy. I remember neither. I remember the sensation, however, the rapid climb, the slow descent, the sense of calm and oneness with the world. It was my first personal contact with the goddess and with God-ness.

I had never heard of orgasm, not in my reading nor in any conversation I had. It came upon my body as the most wonderful surprise I ever got... better than birthdays... beat Santa Claus all to hell. It was free; it didn't require transportation; other folks didn't figure in at all. The perfect hobby for a young teenager living in a semi-rural part of eastern Kansas.

In my 30s and 40s I could achieve orgasms watching someone from across the room, someone delicious and graceful, someone sexy. I didn't even need much fantasy at all. I once climaxed while giving head.

I did not stop having orgasms when I was pregnant. At climax the uterus spasms, in pregnancy the uterus swells from the size of a fist to the size of a pregnant woman's belly; so it is the spasm writ really large. Sensation swells with it and, I told myself, it prepares the baby for birth (a series of more organized spasms of the uterus) and gives both the baby and I a sense of calm and oneness with our environment. I was also less self-conscious about my pregnant stomach knowing what it could do.

I had two husbands but for the 20 years in-between I had no live-in lovers. My own creaming in my own time and under my own control was too important to me to share all my time with someone who thought it was their job to get me off. This did not prevent me from having a number of delightful affairs before, between, and after marriage. (And in my hippie, open, first marriage, during marriage.) I believe sex with other people was enhanced by my experience and knowledge of my own c*nt.

I gave it up when I got married, for a while, at least. Vaguely, I felt that it would make me unfaithful, in some way that I could not have defined then and would have even less success defining today. I gave up the notion when I realized how little sex there actually is in marriage – at the time, it was the only respectable sex one was allowed and then, turns out, it wasn't much at all. I did not give it up for the second husband. I probably would have done it in front of him, if he had ever thought to ask.

Promises from Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: April is the cruelest month. --T S Eliot

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Fact: Easter Egg hunts prove that your child CAN find things when they want to. --Submitted by RHOZ

Today's Peace of History: April 7, 1987: The National Museum of Women in the Arts in Washington, DC, the first museum devoted to women artists, opened.

When my friend fell asleep at the bar, I poured beer on her. It was a brewed awakening. /Reading Forever, Housework Whenever.

..........see me when I'm read to roar.........Janis Ian …..Fly Too High

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle April 7, 2023,hOppy ePistle Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I want to be where there are out and out pagans. --Francis Xavier

Cost of War:

  • As of 04/06/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $203,916,585,078
  • As of 03/30/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $203,336,658,942.
  • As of 04/06/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,128,663,748,876.
  • As of 03/30/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,127,043,851,367.
  • As of 04/06/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,133,202,609,684.
  • As of 03/30/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,132,572,648,633.
  • As of 04/06/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,980,823,147,017.
  • As of 03/30/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,968,543,686,817.
  • As of 04/06/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,016,633,835,831.
  • As of 03/30/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,015,403,872,934.
  • As of 04/06/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,463,242,426,950.
  • As of 03/30/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,446,902,573,015.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Never, for the sake of peace and quiet, deny your own experience or convictions. --Dag Hammarskjold

Famous Last Words: and then my heart with pleasure fills, and dances with the daffodils. --William Wordsworth I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud

..........The comfort of a few old friends long past their prime.........Janis Ian …..Tea & Sympathy

I'm sure beer is the answer; I'm just not sure what the question is. / Hurry up and clean the house. We don't want people to think we actually live the way we actually live.

May Peace sweep your soul

And Joy tidy your mind

prairie mama

christine



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