Famous First Words: ...by existing laws granting preemption rights. --The Homestead Act
Happy National Defense Transportation Day! CPAs always travel by tax-ese. / The master woodworker built a motorcycle out of hickory but it wooden start.
..........Suspicious minds are talkin'..........Joe Cocker …..You Can Leave Your Hat On
Slavery is malignantly aristocratic. --Antoinette Brown Blackwell
It is a cloudy Friday morning. The temperature (72°F) is cool and the persistent breeze suggests a jacket if you are walking a dog or sitting on the porch with your friend. The sky is absolutely covered in thick white clouds – not quite threatening rain, but full and thick nonetheless. Puck is too busy sniffing trails left in the lawn by squirrels or rabbits. He doesn't care if it rains. Bird song is abundant and varied like a not so jazzy jam session. We do not walk long, because I did not wear a jacket, in fact. So we return to the house smelling of brewing coffee and patchouli. I have taken Jeff to the bank and the bus stop. I have purchased cigarettes for Joyce and delivered them. I picked up some donuts and I'm munching a long john with chocolate icing and sprinkles and washing it down with vanilla nut creme decaf. For a person whose stove (and refrigerator) is in the living room, not a bad morning at all.
Hope your weekend gets you where you need to go, ePistliers
First Funniest Thing Read of the Week: I named my watch dogs Timex and Rolex. --Submitted by mh of bc
Best mode of transportation is the train. It has a proven track record. / Impressionist composers prefer to take Debussy.
..........Do you believe in life after love.........Cher …..Believe
Trivia Questions: Happy Hundred and Forty Seventh Birthday to the International Bureau of Weights & Measures
^ What is the International Bureau of Weights & Measures anyway?
^^ Where is the bureau headquarters located?
^^^ How does the bureau regulate time?
^^^^ How does the bureau ensure measurements are the same across borders?
^^^^^ Can you guess when the IBWM began standardizing electrical measurement?
Big Hello: Hallo - Dutch https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Other cultures are not failed attempts at being you. --Submitted by MMS
Max Picture of the Week: Max's first protest (and Ollie is there too on mom's back)
Meditation of the Week: How can you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
The Flooring Soap Opera Episode of the Week: So I'm still in my cozy wonderful room with the soft lush rug and ... stuff. Sigh! And the hall and living room look great. And the furniture and boxes are out of the garage so the car is in. But the kitchen floor was a few pieces of tile and several feet of broken and breaking tiles and a cement strip about ½ inch lower. But, the floor guy came back and tore up all the tiles - even under the stove and fridge. The next day he sanded it all down and spread some stuff on it to even it all out. I don't think it was cement. Then it took two days of laying tile – beautiful tile, it looks real nice – during which time the stove and fridge lived in the living room. Are living in the living room. Yes, the fridge is plugged in and we still use it. So the living room is a maze: push Jeffrey's walker out of the path, beyond the yellow chair (also known as Puck's chair) turn right, turn right again almost immediately and veer left past the printer table to the patio door to let Puck out. I didn't realize that all those follow-the-maze puzzles I did as a kid were preparing me for an actual event in my life. The grout is drying and the appliances return today.
Fake Library Statistics of the Week: How do you know a librarian is mad at you: 65% no longer talking to you 25% cancels your holds 10% keeps accidentally hitting you with book carts https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
But my dog, Puck, prefers the waggin'. / Hilda the Hippie traveled by cannibus.
..........I'm certain that it happens all the time..........Joe Cocker …..With A Little Help From My Friends
Moonbeam: If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just to live like one. --George Gobel
Puzzle of the Week: The initial letters in the title of a popular movie from this century spell the name of a popular sitcom from the last century. What titles are these?
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A slice of apple pie cost $2 in Jamaica and $2.50 in the Bahamas. These are the real pie rates of the Caribbean.
Week of the Week: National Unicycle Week (15-21) --What's the difference between a well dressed person on a bicycle and a poorly dressed one on a unicycle? Attire. / My mom told me never to ride a unicycle, it would never get me anywhere in life. I looked her dead in the eye and said, “You're wrong, mom, where there's a wheel, there's a way.”
After a recent afternoon rain, the garden path was streaming water but there, floating downstream on a dandelion leaf was a slug. He called it a snailboat. / My son, the chef, drives a chef-rolet.
..........Find out what you want to know.........Cher …..The Shoop Shoop Song
^ The International Bureau of Weights and Measures (French: Bureau international des poids et mesures, BIPM) is an intergovernmental organization, through which its 59 member-states act together on measurement standards in four areas: chemistry, ionising radiation, physical metrology, and coordinated universal time.
Almanac: It is Friday, May 20, 2002. The moon will be in the third quarter on Sunday and is in Capricorn. It is Eliza Doolittle Day. In Bulgaria it is Botev Day and Cameroon celebrates Constitution Day (1972). Cuba (1902) and Saudi Arabia (1927) celebrate Independence Day. In Massachusetts it is Lafayette Day (1834-anniversary of his death) and North Carolina commemorates Mecklenburg Day (1775); and in Zaïre it is Revolution Day. Because it is the third Friday it is also Endangered Species Day, International Virtual Assistants Day, The Headless Chicken Day, O. Henry Pun-off Day, NASCAR Day, National Bike to Work Day, National Defense Transportation Day, and National Pizza Party Day .
Among those born today were Henry Percy (Harry Hotspur, 1364), Dolley Dandridge Payne Madison (1768), William Congreve (1772), Honoré de Balzac (1799), John Stuart Mill (1806), William George Fargo (1818), Frédéric Passy (1822), Antoinette Brown Blackwell (1825), James Maitland Stewart (Jimmy, 1908), Gardner F Fox (1911), William Hewlett (1913), Moshe Dayan (1915), George Gobel (1919), Danny Aiello (1933), Shorty Long (1940), and Joe Cocker (1944), Cher (Cherilyn Sarkisian LaPierre, 1946), Dave Thomas (1949), James Henderson (1954), Ronald Prescot Reagan (1958), and Susan Cowsill (1960).
On May twentith the first ecumenical council opened at Nicaea (325), the Treaty of Paris was signed (1303), shoes were first made for left and right feet (1310), the first public school opened in the new world (1639), Elias Neau formed a school for slaves in New York (1704), the daily railroad timetable was first published in the newspaper (1830), the cornerstone for the University of Washington was laid in Seattle (1861), the Homestead Act was passed (1862), the foundation for the Royal Albert Hall was laid (1867), Levi Strauss first marketed his blue jeans ($13.50/dozen, 1874), Ibsen's Ghosts (Gengangere) premiered (1882), the clothes dryer was patented (1892), the Saturday Evening Post featured its first Norman Rockwell painting (1916), Amelia Earhart left Newfoundland on her solo flight across the Atlantic (1932), the helicopter was unveiled (1940), the US Communist Party dissolved (1944), Japanese-Americans regained their citizenship (1959), mobs attacked Freedom Riders in Montgomery (1961), Criss quit Kiss (1980), the Dow Jones closed above 1300 for the first time (1984), Toonces the Cat debuted on SNL (1989), the Hubble telescope sent its first photographs from space (1990), the final episode of Cheers aired (1993), and CBS fired Connie Chung (1995).
Night Sky, 5/20: Spring is advancing, and Vega is now nicely up in the east-northeast after dark. Look for its faint little constellation Lyra, the Lyre, hanging down from it with its bottom canted to the right. Lyra's leading stars form a little equilateral triangle with Vega as one corner, and a parallelogram dangling from the triangle's bottom. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Image of the Week: The Blood Moon Eclipse
This Week: Saturday, May 21 – I Need A Patch For That Day & International Tea Day & National Waitstaff Day
Sunday, May 22 – Canadian Immigrants Day & Harvey Milk Day & Sherlock Holmes Day
Night Sky, 5/22: This is the time of year when Leo the Lion starts walking downward toward the west, on his way to departing into the sunset in early summer. After dark, spot the brightest star fairly high in the west-southwest. That's first-magnitude Regulus, Leo's forefoot.
Monday, May 23 – National Best Friend-In-Law Day & World Turtle Day & Victoria Day
Tuesday, May 24 – Brother's Day & Morse Code Day & World Schizophrenia Awareness Day
Wednesday, May 25 – Cookie Monster's Birthday & National Tap Dance Day & Towel Day
Night Sky, 5/25: With summer still a month away (astronomically speaking), the last star of the Summer Triangle still doesn't rise above the eastern horizon until about 10 or 11 pm. That's Altair, the Triangle's lower right corner. Watch for Altair to clear the horizon three or four fists at arm's length to Vega's lower right.
Thursday, May 26 – National Chardonnay Day & National Paper Airplane Day
You may think philosophers are more helpful than archaic forms of transportation, but I think you're putting Descartes before the horse. / If no one rides it, is it still mass transportation?
..........The road is long..........Joe Cocker …..Up Where We Belong
^^ The IBWM is located in St Cloud, Paris, France. –to be exact: 12bis Grande Rue, F-92310 Sèvres. ...a 10.7-acre site granted to the Bureau by the French Government in 1876.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: This universe never did make sense. I suspect it was built on government contract. --Robert Heinlein
Moonbeam: Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes? --George Gobel
Video of the Week: Chris Rock: We Don't Need Gun Control Chris Rock -- Bullet Control (HD) - YouTube
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: What's the next dumb thing that people will invest in? Tom Brady's signed retirement football. --Faith Salie Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 5/14/22
Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. --Ronald Reagan
There is a new country in the United Nations. It has roller coasters between cities as its primary public transportation. It's called Coaster Eee-ka / Public Transport: Always rides twice as fast when you're not on it.
..........Sell a couple bottles of Doctor Good........Cher …..Gypsies, Tramps, And Thieves
^^^ The BIPM has an important role in maintaining accurate worldwide time of day. It combines, analyses, and averages the official atomic time standards of member nations around the world to create a single, official Coordinated Universal Time (UTC). ~~This sounds to me like time is an average of places where time goes really fast (New York Minute) and the places where it goes really slow (waiting at the doctor's office).
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Every time I get a gray hair I remember that one of my stem cells is like, “the working conditions here are awful and I am done.” And I respect that, from a labor perspective. --Submitted by MMS
Weird Word of the Week: Philogynist – opposite of misogynist...a lover of women World Wide Words: Philogynist
Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie waving good-bye
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Soothe tired feet. Add three tablespoons to a basin of warm water and soak feet in the solution. Arm & Hammer®: Wacky Uses
I often think of skipping school, then I remember I'm the bus driver. / It's not actually a bus schedule, it's more like guidelines.
...........I'm under your spell..........Joe Cocker …..Unchain My Heart
^^^^Scientists use the laboratories to compare measurements that are made in different countries. The offices are used for meetings where scientists discuss the best way to make sure that all countries use the same measurements.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If I were a bird, I know who I would shit on. --Submitted by aeb of kc
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: KeyCon 2022: (20-22, Winnipeg) From Myth to Modern Keycon 39 - From Myth to Modern
Actual Science Conference of the Week: Math Discovery Graphs of the Rainbow & Folding Fridays – learn to fold origami “the pig” Online Upcoming Events – National Museum of Mathematics (momath.org)
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Snakes On A Plane --> Soap
Trains used to go choo choo, now they go zzzzz zzzzz. / If you are driving a Tesla and it gets stolen, is it then called an “Edison”?
..........She told me more about me than I knew myself.........Cher …..Dark Lady
^^^^^ The BIPM took a very early interest in electrical measurements. As early as 1884, for example, at the request of the International Committee for Weights and Measures, J. R. Benoit constructed on behalf of the French Ministry of Postal and Telegraph Services, 4 prototypes of the legal ohm and about 15 secondary standards.
My Own Writing of the Week: In the fifth grade I owned a felt skirt with a poodle on it. I was taught by media and church, aka god, that good girls didn't like sex. Girls who liked sex were bad. My generation of women were first formally introduced to sex by Kotex (or maybe it was Modess). In the fifth grade the girls were taken from the room and shown a movie on menstruation. The heart of the film, basically, was to remind us that we must NEVER let anyone (especially males) know that we were actually bleeding. It told us to be embarrassed by our bodies and their functions. It trained us to consider the male ego more important than our bodies and their functions. It offered us a consumer solution to our shame. What a scam. And we were sent back to our classrooms with a little booklet with pictures of our insides inside it.
Instead of Quote of the Week...Second Picture of the Week: As I was leaving Dillon's I came upon a Bans Off Our Bodies march made up of high school students traveling east along 23rd St. Cool, huh?
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There should be a background check before the NRA is allowed to buy a senator. --SDS
Today's Peace of History, May 20, 1968: In the first such instance during the Vietnam War, Arlington Street Unitarian-Universalist Church in Boston offered sanctuary to Robert Talmanson and William Chase, both of whom had refused to participate in the war. Talmanson had been convicted of refusing induction, and Chase had gone AWOL (absent without leave) as an army private after having served nine months at Cam Ranh Bay in Vietnam.
Before they let me drive in the outback, the Australian government made me prove my koala-fications. / If Yoda were around today, don't you think he'd drive a Toyoda?
..........You're everything I hoped for..........Joe Cocker …..You Are So Beautiful
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle May, 20, 2022, Travelin' ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS
Moonbeam: I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served. --George Gobel
Cost of War:
As of 5/19/22 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $178,319,262,861
As of 5/12/22 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $177,770,521,558
As of 5/19/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,057,167,355,446.
As of 5/12/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,055,634,254,296.
As of 5/19/22 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,105,398,369,954.
As of 5/12/22 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,104,802,279,615.
As of 5/19/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,438,859,667.820.
As of 5/12/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,427,240,337.306 .
As of 5/19/22 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,962,349,345,474.
As of 5/12/22 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,961,185,644,917.
As of 5/19/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,742,097,663,113.
As of 5/12/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,726,640,319,777.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
The greater part of humanity’s miseries are so much the product of our own fault that it can only be up to us to make them disappear. --Frédéric Passy
Famous Last Words: ...and caused the seals of our arms to be affixed thereto. The Treaty of Paris
..........There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb.........Cher (and Sonny) …..I Got You Babe
My friend from Dodge City and I were walking down the street in Buffalo, NY. We passed the Buffalo Transportation Company. They were having some sort of promotion for smart cars so they had a line of them in various colors parked along the sidewalk. My friend said, “There's no way they can transport a buffalo in those things. / “I bet you can't make a u-turn in the Suez Canal with this ship.” “Here, hold my beer.”
May Peace power your motor
And Joy turn your wheels
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:
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