Friday, February 25, 2022

Levied ePistle

 Famous First Words: An act respecting quarantines and health laws ...1799

Happy Birthday, Income Tax! Homeless accountants live in tax shelters. / Taxes are what we pay for a civilized society.”—Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. ~~I'm not sure our society is civilized anymore, can we get refunds?

..........Whisper words of wisdom.........Beatles with George Harrison …..Let It Be

The world will never have lasting peace so long as men reserve for war the finest human qualities. --John Foster Dulles

It is a cold (6°F) Friday morning. The sun is still rising and illuminates only roofs and bare tree tops. Snow still coats lawns but the streets are clear and dry. There is a light wind, coming mostly in gusts, but I remain inside and do not test the weather bureau's estimate of a minus 5 wind chill. Puck is back from his brief morning outing and sleeps under my feet as I type. I take another swig of vanilla-nut-cream decaf – sweetened and creamed and wrap my in a blanket (it's very green and cheery). Birds are out; I can hear them chirping through the window – starting their day with a song. I do not know how they manage to not sound cold. But I do not care how cold it is because I get to sit in this warm room and write to you.

Hope your weekend pushes all your buttons, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Teens don't know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us. -Submitted by sb of kc

You know your CPA is good when she has a tax loophole named after her. / I’m proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money. — Arthur Godfrey

..........Don't want slow walking or sad singin'..........Faron Young …..Live Fast, Love Hard, Die Young

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to Your Show Of Shows

^ Who were the stars of Your Show of Shows?

^^ Several writers on YSOS were famous for other scripts. How many can you name?

^^^ How long did YSOS last?

^^^^ What network aired Your Show of Shows?

^^^^^ How does Your Show of Shows compare to television comedies in general?

Big Hello: Haluu – Iňupiaq (Alaska) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking. --Submitted by INRITH

Max Picture of the Week: Max learning all about the train

Shameless Self Promotion of the Week: The February Sisters were on the front page of the Lawrence Journal World last Sunday (2/20) https://www2.ljworld.com/news/general-news/2022/feb/19/they-took-a-dramatic-stand-for-gender-equality-in-1972-half-a-century-later-the-february-sisters-legacy-remains-strong/

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 47% of a librarian's family and friends are really tired of all the book related puns. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Accountants are always tired because their job is so taxing. / I'm not going to pay taxes. When they say I'm going to prison, I'll say “No”, prisons cost taxpayers a lot of money. You keep what it would have cost to incarcerate me, and we'll call it even.' --Jimmy Kimmel

..........Got to be a joker he just do what he please.........The Beatles with George Harrison …..Come Together

Moonbeam: Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. --Adelle Davis

Meditation of the Week: George Orwell predicted cameras watching us in our homes, but he didn't predict that we would buy and install them ourselves.

Puzzle of the Week: Think of a common boy's name and a common girl's name that are pronounced the same even though they have only two letters in common. And if you reverse the boy's name, phonetically you'll get another common girl's name. What names are these?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When you said “friends with benefits” I assumed you owned a bookstore/ --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Week of the Week: National Engineering Week (20-16) – An engineer solves problems you didn't know you had with solutions you don't understand. / The difference between civil and mechanical engineering is that mechanical engineers design weapons and civil engineers design targets.

Taxes like golf require: you work hard on the green but end up in the hole. / Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. —Herman Wouk

..........The dream that I shattered is falling on me.........Faron Young …..This Time The Hurtin' On Me

^ Sid Caesar and Imogene Coca were the headliners for the show. But Felisa Vanoff, Carl Reiner, and Howard Morris were also featured.

Almanac: It is Friday, February 25, 2022. The moon was in the third quarter last Wednesday and is in Capricorn. It is Rubber Ducky Day. Because it is the fourth Friday it is also Skip the Straw Day.

Among those born on this day were Carol Goldoni (1707), Jose Francisco de San Martin (1778), Otto Liebmann (1840), Pierre Auguste Renoir (1841), John Watson (1847), John Foster Dulles (1888), Ernst Friedrich (1894), Herbert Zeppo Marx (1901), Adelle Davis (1904), Mary Coyle Chase (1907), Jim Backus (1913), Anthony Burgess (1917), Bobby Riggs (1918), Tommy Newsom (1929), Faron Young (1932), Diane Baker (1938), George Harrison (1943), Rick Flair (1950), Carrot Top (Scott Thompson, 1965), Tea Leoni (1966), and Sean Astin (1971).

On February twenty fifth the first US bank was chartered (1791), the first cabinet meeting was held at the home of George Washington (1793), Congress passed the Act Respecting Quarantines (1977), Colt patented the first revolving barrel multishot firearm (1836), Davenport patented the first electric printing press (1837), State University of Iowa was chartered (1847), the US Steel Corporation was organized (1901), Riders to the Sea opened (1904), the first railway tunnel under the Hudson River opened (1908), the Dali Lama fled from Chinese troops (1910), the 16th Amendment was ratified (Income tax, 1913), Oregon became the first state to tax gasoline (1919), Franco became General of Spain (1926), Hilter obtained German citizenship (1932), Your Show of Shows premiered (1950), Nasser was appointed premier of Egypt (1954), Toys in the Attic premiered (1960), the Beatles released their first US single (Please, Please Me, 1963), Cassius Clay TKOed Sonny Liston (1964), and The Lawrence Welk Show aired its final episode (1982).

Night Sky, 2/25: After dinner time at this time of year, five carnivore constellations are rising upright in a ragged row from the northeast to south. They're all presented in profile with their noses pointed up and their feet (if any) to the right. They are Ursa Major the Big Bear in the northeast (with the Big Dipper as its brightest part), Leo the Lion in the east, Hydra the Sea Serpent slithering up the southeast, Canis Minor the Little Dog higher in the south-southeast, and bright Canis Major the Big Dog in the south. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: 2022 Olympic Half-Pipe

This Week: Saturday, February 26 – Carpe Diem Day & National Customized Wheel & Tire Day & Open That Bottle Night

Sunday, February 27 – Shrovetide & International Polar Bear Day & Academy Awards Day

Night Sky, 2/27: This is a fine week to look for the zodiacal light if you live in the mid-northern latitudes, now that the evening sky is moonless and the ecliptic is tilting high upward from the western horizon at nightfall. From a clear, clean, dark site, look west at the very end of twilight for a vague but huge, tall pyramid of pearly light. It's rather narrow, tilted to the left, and aligned along the constellations of the zodiac. What you're seeing is sunlit interplanetary dust orbiting the Sun near the ecliptic plane.

Monday, February 28 – National Cupcake Day in Canada & National Tooth Fairy Day & Shrove Monday

I tried paying my taxes with a smile, but the government demanded cash. / The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.” —John Maynard Keynes

..........It's a love that has no past.........The Beatles with George Harrison …..Don't Let Me Down

^^ Your Show of Shows Writers: Mel Brooks (Blazing Saddles), Larry Gelbart (Tootsie), Neil Simon (The Odd Couple), Lucille Kallen, Mel Tolkin (All in the Family). Selma Diamond (It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World), Joseph Stein (Fiddler on the Roof), Michael Stewart (Hello Dolly), Tony Webster (the only gentile among the writers, Herbie Fully Loaded). Carl Reiner also worked with the writers though he was a cast member.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men for the nastiest of motives will somehow work for the benefit of all. --John Maynard Keynes

Moonbeam: To say that obesity is caused by merely consuming too many calories is like saying that the only cause of the American Revolution was the Boston Tea Party. --Adelle Davis

Strange Fact of the Week: My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Video of the Week: George Harrison and the other Traveling Wilburys: End of the Line https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMVjToYOjbM

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Yes, Avocado Inspector is a real job and not just something I say before I stealing guacamole from a stranger's plate. "It's alright, I'm an avocado inspector." ... If they smuggle avocado's inside kilos of coke... --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 2/19/22

Peace, no less than war, requires idealism and self-sacrifice and a righteous and dynamic faith. --John Foster Dulles

Greta Goose got a big refund because her bill was tax de-duck-table. / Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. —H.L. Mencken

..........Just woke up the wanting in me.........Faron Young …..It's 4 O'clock In The Morning

^^^ Your Show of Shows began 2/25/50 and ran until 6/5/54. That's 139 episodes. After the show closed Sid Caesar did a show called “Caesar's Hour” from 9/27/54-5/25/57. It featured many of the same writers as YSOS but Imogene Coca was not part of the cast.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Tradition: Peer pressure from dead people. --Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Gifable – GIF (Graphics Interchange Format) – can be animated. https://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-gif1.htm

Name That Poet of the Week: Announced by all the trumpets of the sky,
Arrives the snow, and, driving o’er the fields,
Seems nowhere to alight: the whited air
Hides hills and woods, the river and the heaven,
And veils the farm-house at the garden’s end.

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie being wary of a bite offered by his brother.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Boost the strength of dish washing liquid. Add two full tablespoons of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda to the usual amount of detergent you use. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/armhammer.html

There are hefty taxes on trash bags and no one is glad about it. / Tax Day is the day that truckers send their money to Washington, D.C. and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands. --Jimmy Kimmel

...........Little Darling, it's been a long, cold, lonely winter.........The Beatles with George Harrison …..Here Comes The Sun

^^^^ YSOS aired on NBC on Saturday nights.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Everything is connected, mostly by stupidity. --Submitted by MMS

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: MystiCon (25-27, Roanoke, VA) --literature, arts, imaginations and camaraderie https://horrorcons.com/event/18284/mysticon-2022

Vintage Players One Liner of the Week: I only drink water that has been through a brewery first.

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Applied Physics and Mathematics (25th, Nashville, TN) ...sponsored by International Institute of Engineers and Researchers https://conferencealert.com/conf-detail.php?ev_id=894374

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Aaron, Erin, Nora

The IRS audited Joel Olsteen because his church reported false prophets. / Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income. —Alfred E. Neuman

..........But wait until the word gets out.........Faron Young …..Country Girl

^^^^^ YSOS ranks #37 on TV Guide's 60 best series. It was ranked #10 on Entertainment Weekly's 100 Greatest show of all time. And #41 on Writers Guild's Best Written tv series of all time.

My Own Writing of the Week: As one stands at the top of Mt. Oread looking eastward, the hill falls away and the valley is exposed for miles in the distance. In the morning there is often fog among the trees and the valley seems very peaceful and fertile. Even in its winter coat, the shadows and snow make an impressive morning sight. I often stopped on my way to work and meditated on this scene. That Saturday morning, light was just beginning to break over the valley as we walked down Louisiana Street to the Eastern Civilizations Program building. The landscape was still hidden in the night.

In the small front yard of the building there were women gathered. I don't know how many, fifty or more. One of my clear images is all those women in that yard in the cold morning darkness just paler than pitch. They had kept vigil all night at the women's center or had been awakened with a phone call to come greet a new dawn. These were the women who had drafted literature, driven cars, gathered food, and now saw their breath steam up the air. They stood with their faces to the front door. Huddled together for warmth, they were filled with joy and anticipation. A murmur of many soft voices scattered through the crowd. --from An Act Surprising: A Memoir of the February Sister.

Quote of the Week: Any book worth banning is a book worth reading. --Isaac Asimov

Poet of the Week: John Greenleaf Whittier Snow-Bound: A Winter Idyl https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45490/snow-bound-a-winter-idyl

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: “I'm getting old” starter pack: They're remaking that movie already????

Today's Peace of History, February 25, 1941: A general strike was called in Amsterdam to protest Nazi persecution of Jews under the German Nazi occupation. The previous weekend 425 Jewish men and boys had been imprisoned (only two survived the war). Truck drivers, dock and metal workers, civil servants and factory employees — Christians, Liberals, Social Democrats, and Communists — answered the call and brought the city to a standstill.

Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing. / Tax reform is when you take the taxes off things that have been taxed already and put taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before. --Art Buchwald

..........Hari krishna, krishna, krishna.........George Harrison …..My Sweet Lord

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle February 25, 2022, Levied ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: If this country is to survive, the best-fed-nation myth had better be recognized for what it is: propaganda designed to produce wealth not health. --Adelle Davis

Cost of War:

As of 2/24/21 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $171,653,713,579.

As of 2/17/21 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $171,095,508,907.

As of 2/24/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,038,549,062,722.

As of 2/17/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,036,990,824,630.

As of 2/24/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,098,158,272,185.

As of 2/17/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,097,552,234,000.

As of 12/24/21 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,297,729,394,424 .

As of 12/17/21 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,285,917,415,035 .

As of 2/24/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,948,213,823,571.

As of 2/17/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,947,030,224,054.

As of 2/24/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,554,313,941,771.

As of 2/17/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,538,589,500,929.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

A peaceful world is a world in which differences are tolerated, and are not eliminated by violence. --John Foster Dulles

Famous Last Words: And we must be satisfied. --Maurya Riders To The Sea by Synge

..........Well, I see you're still here.........Faron Young …..Hello Walls

People who cheat on their taxes disgust me and my 27 dependents. / Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes, that's a red flag. --Jay Leno

May Peace hold your hand

And Joy hug your shoulders

prairie mama

christine



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