Famous First Words: So you think you've got troubles... Theme Song Dick Van Dyke Show
Labor Day … among other things a time to complain about your boss. I'd tell my boss to go jump in the lake but he'd just delegate that to me. / Thank you for all of your hard work. We're going to reward you by giving you other people's work to finish.
..........Til we tear the place down.........Chubby Checker …..The Twist
Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically by definition be disqualified from ever doing so. --Gore Vidal
It is a gray Friday morning. A 71°F temperature is ideal for walking but the world is wet from last night's rain. The clouds cover the sky and only the edges of the horizon appear lighter. There are swirls of gray and solid grays giving the land a gloomy, cool mood. The world smells of rain and damp. Birds sing, dogs bark, and car motors are ubiquitous. A drive around town running errands that cannot wait. At home there are more chores – putting away groceries... brewing coffee... and so it goes. I doctor my sweetened coffee turning it a rich brown. And finally, I get to sit down and write to you.
Hope your weekend makes you smile from Friday to Monday, ePistliers
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Psychologists now recognize that the need in some people to have a dozen cats is really a sublimated desire to have two dozen cats. --Robert Brault
Work is where the size of the boss's ego seems to suck the soul out of all the employees. / Oh, I'm just a little depressed. Nothing that couldn't be cured by hiring a few new obsequious, praise-spewing underlings. / My boss asked me who is the stupid one him or me. I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
..........Oh, no-no, you can't disguise...........Fleetwood Mac with Lindsey Buckingham …..Little Lies
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to Captain Kangaroo
^ How long did the Captain Kangaroo show air?
^^ Remember who played the Captain?
^^^ What character or characters were played by Hugh “lumpy” Brannum?
^^^^ Do you remember any of the puppets?
^^^^^ What cartoon character was a regular on the Captain's show?
FYI: The first Labor Day holiday was celebrated in New York City on Tuesday, September 5, 1882. Following the deaths of 13 workers during the Pullman Strike in June of 1894, President Grover Cleveland made reconciliation with the labor movement a top political priority, and Labor Day became a federal holiday in 1894. ~~So Labor Day started as a way to keep unions donating to political campaigns without really supporting their cause.
Big Hello: Moin – Frisian (Germany) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Oh, great, my horse has worms and the pharmacy is out of everything but COVID vaccine. – Conan O'Brien --Submitted by ksz of ks
Max Picture of the Week: On the Road Again
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 34% of librarians have suggested a survey to ask patrons how likely they are to take a library survey https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
The boss insisted that we all work a full Saturday shift saying, “We're all in the same boat.” Then he takes a 2 hour lunch and leaves two hours before the rest of us. / My boss is so dumb, he would hire nine women and expect them to deliver a baby in one month.
..........custom built bike doing 103..........Motley Crüe with Tommy Lee …..Kick Start My Heart
Moonbeam: Culture is the arts elevated to a set of beliefs. --Thomas Wolfe
Meditation Seed of the Week: Can we conceive what humanity would be if it did not know the flowers? --Submitted by Writer's Relief
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I fully intend to haunt people when I die. I have a list.
Week of the Week: National Nutrition Week (1-7) --My nutrition store ran out of protein powder today. I was like No Whey! / Nutrition Question:: How many Skittles equal one serving of fruit?
My boss didn't smile at me which is always a good sign. / Always laugh heartily at the jokes of your boss. It may be a loyalty test. / My boss asked me what it means that I've been late 3 times this week.. It means it's Wednesday.
..........All around the limbo clock..........Chubby Checker …..Limbo Rock
^ Captain Kangaroo ran 29 years from 1955 to 1984. In 1986, the American Program Service (now American Public Television, Boston) integrated some newly produced segments into reruns of past episodes, distributing the newer version of the series to PBS and independent public stations until 1993.
Almanac: It is Friday, September 3, 2021. The moon will be new on Monday and is in Leo. It is National Doodle Day, National Day of Prayer for Victims of Hurricanes, Pressed Pennies Day, and Skyscraper Day. Monaco commemorates Liberation Day and Qatar celebrates Independence Day (1971). San Marino commemorates Founding Day and in Tunisia it is Memorial Day (1934). Because it is the first Friday it is also Bring Your Manners To Work Day, National Chianti Day, National Food Bank Day, National Lazy Mom's Day, and Stand Up To Cancer Day. Because it is the Friday before Labor Day it is National College Colors Day (KU – Crimson & Blue). And finally because it is the first weekend it is Cow Chip Throwing Days.
Among those born on this day were Nicolo Amati (1596), Prudence Crandall (1803), John Humphrey Noyes (1811), Louis Henri Sullivan (1856), Dorothy Maynor (1910), Alan Ladd (1913), Kitty Carlisle (1914), Mort Walker (1923), Mitzi Gaynor (1931), Eileen Brennan (1935), Al Jardine (1942), Woody Spring (1944), Valerie Perrine (1944) , Mike Harrison (1945), and Charlie Sheen (1965).
On September third Richard the Lion-Hearted was crowned (1189), the Treaty of Paris was signed ending the US Revolutionary War (1783), the New York Sun began publishing (1833), cottonpickers organized a union (1891), the first pro football game was played (1895), the world's first cannery opened (England, 1912), Search for Tomorrow debuted (1951), the Wilderness Act was signed into law (1964), Qatar regained independence (from Britain, 1971), the Watergate team broke into Daniel Ellsberg's doctor's office (1971), and Viking 2 soft landed on Mars (1976).
Night Sky,9/3: The coming of September means that Scorpius, the proudly starring constellation of the southern sky in July, is tilting over and lying low in the southwest after dark, preparing to bed down and drift off for the season. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Image of the Week: David Hammack (my grandson) and Andi Leuszler his bride
This Week: Saturday, September 4 – National Cowgirl Day & National Play Outside Day & National Writing Date Day
Sunday, September 5 – Bacon Day & Be Late for Something Day
Night Sky, 9/5: Look carefully at Venus low in the west-southwest as twilight fades. Tonight Spica, only 1/100 as bright, glimmers 1.6° to Venus's lower left.
Monday, September 6 – Labor Day & Yard Art Day and Rosh Hashanah
Tuesday, September 7 – Grandma Moses Day & Neither Snow Nor Rain Day & Salami Day
Wednesday, September 8 – National Ampersand Day & International Literacy Day
Night Sky, 9/8: Jupiter and Saturn shine in the southeast in late twilight and after dark. Jupiter starts the evening in the lowest position. Saturn glows 18° (about two fists) to Jupiter's upper right. The pair levels out around 10 pm DST. By then they're nearing their highest in the south, at their telescopic best.
Thursday, September 9 – International Buy A Priest A Beer Day & Wonderful Weirdos Day
You say you value your employees, but my paycheck says not. / My boss says he doesn't have time to write performance reviews, so he'll just criticize us in public from time to time.
..........You'll see things in a different way..........Fleetwood Mac with Lindsey Buckingham …..Don't Stop
^^ Captain Kangaroo was conceived by Bob Keeshan, who also played the title character, and who based the show on "the warm relationship between grandparents and children". Keeshan had portrayed the original Clarabell the Clown The Howdy Doody Show, the first children's television program.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Irony: using a device that transmits inordinate amounts of complex information tens of thousands of miles through thin air – via antennas and satellites – to convey to others that you “don't trust science”. --Submitted by gb of ks
Moonbeam: I'm not a conspiracy theorist – I'm a conspiracy analyst. --Gore Vidal
Video of the Week: My favorite Labor Day Song: The Banks Are Made of Marble by The Weavers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax796GB5hUs
Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: On The Road Again
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: New research among paleontologists suggests that the ferocious t-rex was actually a picky eater. So they weren't only scary, they were also terrible guests at dinner. Do you have anything else to eat? I'm pterdactose intolerant. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me 8/28/21
Apparently, a democracy is a place where numerous elections are held at great cost without issues and with interchangeable candidates. --Gore Vidal
I'd like to pay you what you're worth, but it's against the minimum wage law. / I work so that I can afford the amount of alcohol required to continue on this job./ I've seen monkey shit fights at the zoo that are more organized than this office.
..........Turn me on, I'm too hot to stop..........Motley Crüe with Tommy Lee …..Live Wire
^^^ Lumpy played Mr. Green Jeans, the New Old Folk Singer, Percy, Uncle Backwards, Mr. McGregor, and Mr. Bainter the Painter. ~~I only remember Mr. Green Jeans
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've read that being a woman means whispering WTF to yourself daily. Ok, first of all...I didn't know we were supposed to be whispering it. --Submitted by bu of ks
Weird Word of the Week: Yuhangyuan – Chinese term for an astronaut, it literally means “universe travel worker”. http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-yuh1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Relieve a hangover. Dissolve two Alka-Seltzer tablets in a glass of water and drink the resulting fizzy liquid before going to bed helps lessen the effects of a hangover in the morning. Alcohol dehydrates our body cells, but the water rehydrates the body and the aspirin in Alka-Seltzer prevents the onslaught of a headache. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/alkaseltzer.html
Puzzle of the Week: From Jeffery Harris of Nashville, Tennessee: Take a five-letter word meaning "having an unpleasant smell." Insert it backward, inside another five-letter word meaning, "having a strong smell." The result will be a ten-letter name of a famous composer. Who is it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 4/24/05
I'd love to promote you, but it'd be too hard to find a replacement. / My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick, especially because his name is Steve.
...........Like we did last summer.........Chubby Checker ….Let's Twist Again
^^^^ Cosmo Allegretti appeared as the puppets Mr Bunny Rabbit and Mr Moose (both of which he also created), Dennis the Apprentice, Willy, Miss Frog, Mr. Whispers, Dancing Bear, Grandfather Clock, and Uncle Ralph.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I feel like I'm parked diagonally in a parallel universe. --Submitted by Heinlein Society
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Dragon Con 2021 (9/206, Atlanta, GA) – Face it, tiger, you just hit the jackpot. https://www.dragoncon.org/
Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Environmental and Life Science (9/3-4, Suva, Fiji) state of the art in the current technology, techniques and solutions https://www.allconferencealert.com/event-detail.html?ev_id=590108&eventname=international-conference-on-environment-and-life-science-(eucels)
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: GROSS + MUSKY = MUSSORGSKY
Boss used to mean cool, now it means “jerk in charge”. / I know it was your idea, however, I'm the boss and it was my idea to use your idea. / It's time to quit my job. I've overstayed my patience.
..........damn your love, damn your lies..........Fleetwood Mac with Lindsey Buckingham …..The Chain
^^^^^ A cartoon starring a funnel-capped shape-shifting boy named Tom Terrific was part of the show in the 1950s and 1960s. Tom had a sidekick named Mighty Manfred the Wonder Dog, and a nemesis, Crabby Appleton ("I'm rotten to the core!").
My Own Writing of the Week: One fall Apollo tried to talk Daphne out of going to the rites. "Call in sick", he said. Daphne joked, then bantered, then philosophized, then theologized and finally, flatly, sternly but not in anger, told him to mind his own religion and she would mind hers. He claimed he would show up and shed light on the proceedings - it being a forbidden act at a nocturnal ceremony - but Daphne knew it was an idle threat since that rule was made by a higher authority. Instead he took all nine of Daphne's amusing friends to an island off the coast of Africa. Finding he wasn't quite up for that much orgy all by himself, he offered them a place in his own organization and a raise in pay to keep that tidbit to themselves. He then ordered all such "immorality" cut from his rituals. Although in fairness the harassment of the dissatisfied muses was also an influence. --from a short story called Daphne and Apollo
Extreme Topiary of the Week:
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dystopian fiction is when you take things that happen in real life to marginalized populations and apply them to people with privilege.
Today's Peace of History, September 3, 1838: Frederick Douglass made his escape from slavery in Baltimore and went on in life to become an abolitionist, journalist, author, and human rights advocate.
Let's schedule a meeting so I can pretend to want your input on how I can more effectively micromanage you. / Today was a terrible day. My boss got hit by a bus and I lost my job as bus driver.
..........Checking out the halls, making sure the coast is clear..........Motley Crüe with Tommy Lee …..Smoking In The Boys Room
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle September 3, 2021, Belabored ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: It was the spirit animating the mass and flowing from it, and it expressed the individuality of the building. --Louis Sullivan
Cost of War:
As of 9/2/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,161,228,955,909.
As of 8/26/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,159,242,717,132.
As of 9/2/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,057,718,985,805.
As of 8/26/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,056,368,544,717.
As of 9/2/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $879,361,270,667.
As of 8/26/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $877,663,425,010.
As of 9/2/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $355,491,180,137.
As of 8/26/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $355,105,338,417.
As of 9/2/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,453,801,926,185.
As of 8/26/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,448,058,493,408.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
Think of the earth as a living organism that is being attacked by billions of bacteria whose numbers double every forty years. --Gore Vidal
Famous Last Words: ...any recommendations they care to make. --The Wilderness Act of 1964
..........Well who am I to keep you down..........Fleetwood Mac with Lindsey Buckingham …..Dreams
One of us is wrong and since I'm the boss, it's you. / I need to extend my lunch break into not working here anymore. / My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
May Peace attend your labors
And Joy support your efforts
prairie mama
christine
Next to the Last Laugh:
Last Laugh: --Submitted by ab of kc
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