Cowboy ePistle

 Famous First Words: They're out there. Black boys in white suits... Ken Kesey One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

It's International Country Music Day ! It was a terrible day. Two music lovers were being held hostage and both were going to be shot. One of them was a country music lover and the other enjoyed all types of music. Before they were shot they were asked for one last request before they died. The country music lover said, "I would like to listen to 'Achy Breaky Heart' 50 times in a row." The other music lover said, "Please, shoot me first / Actual Country Music Song: How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away --Dan Hicks & His Hot Licks

..........A memory from your lonesome past keeps us so far apart.........Hank Williams …..Cold Cold Heart

We are more casual about qualifying the people we allow to act as advocates in the courtroom than we are about licensing electricians. --Warren E Burger

It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sky is blue and nearly cloudless. A temperature of 79°F promises a warmth that has not yet developed. Lawns are still green and trees are still full. Squirrels are busy and rush about the yard on important business that ignores Puck. He barks at them, nonetheless. I have made it to and back from the doctor. I'm doing well, still losing weight, my paperwork looks good. Ahhh! Home now, I fix a cup of freshly brewed but sweetened and creamed coffee and savor a bite of cream cheese muffin. The only thing that could make the morning better is to write to you.

Hope your weekend whispers rainbows, ePistlers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When you're old you take all your drugs after the concert.

A guy walks the streets of Nashville carrying a guitar. A car pulls up and a tourist asks, "Excuse me, do you know how you get to the Country Music Hall of Fame?" "Yeah," the man spits out. "Practice 'til you're dead!"." / Actual Country Music Song: I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight (Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win) – Charlie Walker

..........Hear that lonesome whippoorwill' he sounds too blue to fly.........Hank Williams …..I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry

Trivia Questions: September is National Honey Month. What do we know about the product and its makers

^ More or less how many pounds of honey were sold in the US in 2019?

^^ How many bees does it take to make a pound of honey, more or less?

^^^ Bees keep their hives at an exact temperature; do you know what it is?

^^^^ What percentage of vegetables, fruits, and seed crops are pollinated by bees?

^^^^^ How fast do honey bees fly anyway?

Big Hello: Ola - Galician (Spain) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Trickle-Down Economics clearly isn't working, so I think it's time we try Pinata Economics where we beat the rich with sticks until the wealth is redistributed. --Submitted by bd of ny

Max Picture of the Week: Max is eating green eggs and ham He likes them, Sam I Am

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 29% of librarians have never been wrong. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

How many country singers does it take to change a light bulb? 2. One to screw it in and one to sing about all the good times he had with the old one. / Actual Country Music Song: Her Only Bad Habit Is Me --George Strait

..........Move over little dog 'cause the big dog's moving in.........Hank Williams …..Move It On Over

Moonbeam: I'm a hardened old guy. I've been cut in so many ways and dumped on by so many teams, I've been through it all, but I'd do it all over. --George Blanda

Meditation Seed of the Week: How do you know that you are not hallucinating?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My favorite moment of Star Wars is when Obi Wan's ghost gets tired and sits on a log. --Submitted by INRITH

Week of the Week: Line Dance Week (13-19) I went line dancing last night, well, actually it was a roadside sobriety test...same thing. / Line dancing was started by women waiting to use the bathroom.

Tubas aren't used in country music because they are heavy metal. / Actual Country Music Song: Thank God And Greyhound You're Gone --Roy Clark

..........Well, I'm nobody's sugar daddy now.........Hank Williams …..Lovesick Blues

^ A total of 609.9 million pounds of Honey were sold in 2019. This is about 15 million pounds more than 2018.

Almanac: It is Friday, September 17, 2021. The moon will be full (Harvest) on Monday (9/20); today it is in Aquarius. It is Citizenship Day (formerly known as Constitution Day), International Country Music Day, King Turkey Day, National Monte Cristo Day, National Professional House Cleaners Day, National Table Shuffleboard Day, Time's Up Day, and VFW Ladies Auxiliary Day. Because it is the 3rd Friday it is also Bright Pink Lipstick Day, National Concussion Awareness Day, International Grenache Day, National POW/MIA Recognition Day, and National Tradesmen Day.

Among those born on this day were Charles the Simple (879), Konstantin Tsiolkovsky (1857), Warren E Burger (1907), Hank Williams (1923), George Blanda (1927), Roddy McDowall (1928), Edgar Dean Mitchell (1930), Thomas P Stafford (1930), Maureen Connolly (1934, Ken Kesey (1935), David Souter (1939), John Ritter (1948), and Rita Rudner (1955).

On September seventeenth the City of Boston formed (1630), the US constitution was adopted by the Philadelphia convention (1878), Herschel discovered Mimas, a moon of Saturn (1978), Ohio State University opened (1873), the first transcontinental airplane flight flew (NY - CA, 1911), the National Football League was organized (1920), the Soviet Union invaded Poland (1939), James Forrestal became the first US Secretary of Defense (1947), Constitution Day was renamed Citizenship Day (1952), Ernie Banks became the first black player for the Chicago Cubs (1953), The Fugitive premiered (1963), Bewitched premiered (1964), the Supremes released Baby Love (1964), Mission Impossible premiered (1967), M.A.S.H. premiered (1967), the B.A.R.T. opened for passenger service (1972), Vanessa Williams became the first black Miss America (1983), and North and South Korea joined the United Nations (1991).

Night Sky, 9/17: Now the gibbous Moon hangs lower right of the bright Jupiter at dusk. Later in the night, as the sky turns, the Moon becomes directly below Jupiter. That's how you'll find them around midnight (DST). http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Oh goody, it's college football season...

This Week: Saturday, September 18 – Batman Day & National Ceiling Fan Day & National Respect Day

Sunday, September 19 – Talk Like A Pirate Day & Wife Appreciation Day

Night Sky, 9/19: You can see in the stars that the season is changing: We've reached the time of year when, just after nightfall, cold-weather Cassiopeia has already climbed a little higher in the northeast than the warm-weather Big Dipper has sunk in the northwest. Cas bedecks the high northern sky in the early evening during the fall-winter half of the year. The Big Dipper takes over for the milder evenings of spring and summer. Almost midway between them stands Polaris. It's currently a little above the midpoint between the two.

Monday, September 20 – National Care for Kids Day & Respect for The Aged Day

Tuesday, September 21 – International Day of Peace

Wednesday, September 22 – Car Free Day & Dear Diary Day & Mabon

Night Sky, 9/22: Mercury (about magnitude +0.2) is very deep down in the sunset, 16° lower right of Venus this week. You might have a chance at it with binoculars or a wide-field scope. About 15 or 20 minutes after sunset, scan for it just above your horizon due west. Good luck.

Thursday, September 23 – International Day of Sign Languages

What do you get if you cross country music with rap? Crap / Actual Country Music Song: You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly --Conway Twitty & Loretta Lynn

..........But sleep won't come the whole night through.........Hank Williams …..Your Cheatin' Heart

^^ A worker bee gathers in her entire life 0.8 gram (0.0288 ounce) of honey. It requires 556 worker bees to gather a pound of honey. Bees fly the equivalent of more than one trip around the world to gather a pound of honey. The average life of a honey bee during the working season is about six weeks.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Tattoos should actually make you more employable because it shows you can sit in place for hours while tiny needles are jammed into your skin and that's what every corporate meeting I've ever been in has felt like. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: Since we don't know where we're going, we have to stick together in case someone gets there. --Ken Kesey

Video of the Week: Protest at Phi Kappa Psi, University of Kansas 9/13/21 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4TrmqJcD9I They gathered there again the next night. Tomorrow they are sitting in the hall outside the chancellor's office. ~~~Been there, done that. And it works, last time. Good luck to them.

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie traveling in a fashion forward lion suit with hoodie with a mane.

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Since they kicked up the flavors a notch / I love brushing my teeth now just watch / Pretty soon I will try / some with bourbon or rye / See, my toothpaste is flavored with scotch --Bill Kurtis Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 9/11/21

Trials by the adversarial contest must in time go the way of the ancient trial by battle and blood. --Warren E Burger

When you listen to rock music backwards you hear satanic messages, when you listen to country music backwards you get your wife, your life, and your dog back. / Actual Country Music Song: Redneck Martians Stole My Baby --Hank Flamingo

..........Cause tonight I'm gonna see my ma cher ami-o.........Hank Williams …..Jambalaya

^^^ Honey bees keep the inside of their hives at 93 degrees Fahrenheit. (If it’s cold outside, all the bees vibrate their bodies and create body heat to warm up their hive to 93°, and when it’s hot outside, they flap their wings like fans to create a breeze and cool it off.)

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why Iron-man and why not Fe-male? --Submitted by FNOG

Collective Noun of the Week: A group of eagles or of hawks is called an aerie sometimes spelled eyrie. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:Glossary_of_collective_nouns_by_collective_term

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Soothe tired feet. Plop four Alka Seltzer tablets in a pan of warm water, plop your feet into the alkaline solution, and let them fizz fizz for fifteen minutes. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/alkaseltzer.html

Puzzle of the Week: Name a famous person (8 letters in first name, 4 letters in last). The last name is also a regular uncapitalized word with a single vowel. Change that vowel to make a new word that is humorously defined by the person's first name. Who is it?

Tibetan religious leaders issued a special forgiveness to a certain Buxom country music star. It was called the Dalai Pardon. / Actual Country Music Song: I Flushed You From The Bathroom Of My Heart --J D Blackfoot

...........I'm gonna keep drinkin' till I'm petrified.........Hank Williams …..There's A Tear In My Beer

^^^^ Honey bees pollinate approximately 80% of all vegetables, fruit, and seed crops in the USA.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I used to be a virgin, but I gave it up because there was no money in it. --Marsha Warfield

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Fan Expo Dallas (17-19, Dallas) Three days of fun filled fan culture. https://fanexpohq.com/fanexpodallas/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwkIGKBhCxARIsAINMioKtdp_piqjZKxglqytKyVdAq3oLANfRZfUGqwdCKf9AlKljc3YdpBIaAm_tEALw_wcB

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Cannabis Science Conference (13-15, Baltimore) ...specialized focus on analytical science, medical topics in cannabis, cultivation and hemp science. https://www.cannabisscienceconference.com/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Wolfgang Puck (Pack)

FYI: Africa by Toto is not considered Country Music is it called Continent Music. / Actual Country Music Song: You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too –The Statler Brothers

..........No more darkness, no more night.........Hank Williams …..I Saw The Light

^^^^^ A honey bee flies 15 miles per hour. Bees flap their wings 190 times a second. (That’s over double the 70 times a second the hummingbird flaps its wings)

My Own Writing of the Week: To be clear, we're not talking here about that pesky 5 or 10 pounds that you gain and lose each year. I've lost 55 pounds. I began at 280 and now I weigh 225. People who have never lost 50 pounds (or who couldn't afford to lose 50 pounds) think it's wonderful. Certainly, the capitalists who try to sell us various reduction drugs, meals, vitamin supplements, exercise equipment, and/or surgery tell us that we will look terrific and be brimming with new found energy. They predict our bikini clad bodies will walk the beach and be harassed by a guy who looks like he just finished making a Viagra commercial. They never tell you about the darker side, the cons, the bummers of losing weight. --The Downside of Losing Weight ~~This is from 2012

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You know if you don't rake the leaves they turn into soil right? They don't break into your house and drink all your wine or anything. --Submitted by bu of ks

Today's Peace of History, September 17, 1961: 1,314 anti-nuclear protesters were arrested during a sit-down in London’s Trafalgar Square by 12,000. City authorities had denied them a permit.

My son calls pop-country music Hick-Hop. / Actual Country Music Song: She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger --Chuck Mead

..........I'm a number not a name.........Hank Williams …..Lonesome Whistle

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle September 17. 2021, Cowboy, ePistle*. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047, ~~When I was a kid country music was called Cowboy music and then Country-Western and now Country.

Moonbeam: Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? --Rita Rudner

Cost of War:

As of 9/9/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,921,048,021,966.

As of 9/9/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,919,875,482,873.

As of 9/9/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,084,244,173,532.

As of 9/9/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,083,643,985,805.

As of 9/9/21 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $158,843,748,807.

As of 9/9/21 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $158,290,984,424.

As of 9/9/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,002,770,375,540.

As of 9/9/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,001,225,839,102.

As of 9/9/21 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,026,518,210,174.

As of 9/9/21 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,014,811,456,622.

As of 9/9/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,193,427,267,802.

As of 9/9/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,177,855,535,552.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen. --Warren E Burger

Famous Last Words: Don't throw our love away.........Baby Love The Supremes

..........How's about cookin' something up with me.........Hank Williams …..Hey Good Lookin'

Facing depression during the pandemic, I wrote a very creative and detailed suicide note. Now I've got the #1 country music song in the US. / Actual Country Music Song: How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me --Mel Tillis

May Peace guide your hands

And Joy direct your heart

prairie mama

christine

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