Alien ePistle

 Famous First Words: Greeting, my friends... Opening line of Plan 9 From Outer Space

It is both the anniversary of the first Laugh-In episode and World UFO Day. L-I Announcer: In defiance of numerous requests, we will now proceed with the entertainment portion of Rowan and Laugh Martin-In / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: Crop circles were caused by aliens stealing corn for BBQs on the moon.

..........Send them your love..........Barbra Streisand …..People

It is now highly feasible to take care of everybody on Earth at a higher standard of living than any have ever known. It no longer has to be you or me. Selfishness is unnecessary. War is obsolete. It is a matter of converting the high technology from weaponry to livingry. --Buckminster Fuller

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. The sky is blue with lines and bunches of clouds gathered and scattered like sheep in a field. 69°F feels so fine and keeps the mugginess down to a minimum. The world smells of dampness, soil, foliage, and pavement, but there is no sign of rain. Several lawns in the neighborhood are dusted with cottonwood “snow” which rises with the least breeze and floats away to the next lawn. Puck barks at everything this morning, other dogs, people, rabbits, even the cottonwood fluff when it floats near him. There are gusts of winds blowing the cotton and the willow branches as birds singing summer songs flit in and out of the massive, moving mound of green. A family of sparrows light upon the shed roof and look over the yard to make their morning dining plans. They hip hop so delicately. Back home, Puck crawls into his dog cave under the bed and I sit down with a cup of sweet, creamy decaf. What a perfect day to write to you.

Hope your weekend is out of this world, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The National Weather Services has just published instructions on how to bake a lasagna in your mailbox. --Submitted by INRITH

L-I: Barbara Feldon: It's not the hawks and doves that I'm worried about...it's those cuckoos in Washington that want to make pigeons out of all of us. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: We've translated 3 messages from the Mothership 1) Don't slough 2) Eat your vegetables 3) Space is cold, take a sweater.

..........Or freckle on the nose of life's complexion..........Barbra Streisand …..Don't Rain On My Parade

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday Land Grant Colleges !

^ What is a land grant college, anyway?

^^ Why were land grant institutions instituted?

^^^ Any idea what was the very first land grant university?

^^^^ How many of these institutions exist today, more or less?

^^^^^ Are all land grants public state colleges now?

Big Hello: Mǫkǫm – Efik (Nigeria) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you can't look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot. --Submitted by INRITH

Max Picture of the Week: Max finding new and creative ways to use cup holders

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Due to budget cuts 75% of book cart drill teams have been moved to reserve drill team status https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

LI: Goldie Hawn: The high cost of living doesn't bother me, I live on the ground floor. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: One of the UFOs photographed by navy fliers has an UBER sign in the front window.

..........I never dreamed it was so high..........Barbra Streisand …..A Piece Of Sky

Moonbeam: A minimum of comfort is necessary for the practice of virtue. --Patrice Lumumba

One Before Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The hole in a guitar is traditionally used to store soft cheeses and dried meats which are fed to the drummer when he does a good job. --Musicians United

Meditation Seed of the Week: Why is it said that an alarm clock is said to be going off when really it's coming on?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The existence of the Straight and Narrow implies the existence of the Gay and Thick. -B --Submitted by MMS

Week of the Week: National Unassisted Home Birth Week (1-7) --Have your baby at home, they won't let you drink beer in a hospital. / I plan on having such an awesome birth that Morgan Freeman will narrate it. ~~I had 2 babies at home without assistance. The first one came before the midwife got there late and the second one – they said I wasn't ready and sent me home from the hospital. Babies and mothers were both fine. I never planned to have them unassisted, honestly.

L-I Milton Berle: The way some of the younger generation carries on, some people wish that they'd develop a birth control pill that was retroactive. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: about 1/3 of all UFOs are just stopping because the crew isn't allowed to smoke on the ship.

..........your spirit illuminates my soul..........Barbra Streisand …..Papa Can You Hear Me

^ A Land Grant College is an institution of higher education in the United States designated by a state to receive the benefits of the Morrill Acts of 1862 and 1890.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 2, 2021. The moon was last quarter yesterday and is in Aries. It is World UFO Day, I Forgot Day, Made In The USA Day, and Second Half of The Year Day:

Among those born on this day were Lili Braun (1865), Hermann Hesse (1877), Walter Brennan (1894), Hans Bethe (1906), Dan Rowan (1922), Patrice Lumumba (1925), John Sununu (1939), Linda Godwin (1952), Wendy Lawrence (1959), and Jose Canseco (1964),

On July second the Continental Congress resolved these United Colonies are and of right ought to be Free & Independent, (1776), Vermont became the first American colony to abolish slavery (1777), de Sade shouted from the Bastille that prisoners were being slaughtered (1787), Lincoln signed the act establishing land grant agricultural colleges (1862), Statuary Hall in the US Capitol was established (1864), NYC first elevated railroad began service (1867), president Garfield was shot (1881), the Sherman Antitrust Act prohibited industrial monopolies (1890), the first Zeppelin airship flew (1900), the US Army Air Corps was created and the Distinguish Flying Cross award was authorized (1926), Amelia Earhart was last heard over the Pacific Ocean (1937), the Lawrence Welk Show premiered (1955), Plan 9 From Outer Space premiered (1957), Barbra Streisand played Vegas for the first time (1963), Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (1964), Giotto was launched towards Halley's Comet (1985), and the Supreme Court upheld affirmative action (1988).

Night Sky, 7/2: Venus hardly moves now with respect to your landscape from week to week, but its background stars are sliding right along, toward the lower right. On July 2nd the Beehive Cluster, M44, passes behind Venus. Try binoculars or a wide-field scope — but this will be a difficult observation if it's possible at all! You'll have to catch the narrow time window between the sky being too bright and Venus and the Beehive getting too low and setting http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: The shed is finished

This Week: Saturday, July 3 – Drop A Rock Day & Stay Out Of The Sun Day & International Day of Cooperatives

Sunday, July 4 – US Independence Day & Indivisible Day & National BBQ Ribs Day

Night Sky, 7/4: Low in the northwest or north at the end of the long summer twilight, would you recognize noctilucent clouds if you saw them? They're the most astronomical of all cloud types, what with their extreme altitude and formation on meteoric dust particles. And they're fairly rare — though they've become more common in recent years as the atmosphere and climate change

Monday, July 5 – Bikini Day & Earth a Aphelion

Tuesday, July 6 – Fried Chicken Day & International Kissing Day aka World Kiss Day

Wednesday, July 7 – Tell The Truth Day & World Forgiveness Day & Father-Daughter Take A Walk Together Day

Night Sky, 7/7: Nova Cassiopeiae goes wobbly. It's been 3½ months since Nova Cas 2021 erupted on March 19th to magnitude 7.7. Surprisingly, it has stayed roughly that bright ever since — except for swelling to 5.3, faint naked-eye visibility, for a week in May before dropping back to about 7.7. It's been wavering slightly since then. As of June 28th it was 7.1. The nova is moderately low in the north-northeast after dark depending on your latitude. It climbs higher later in the night.

Thursday, July 8 – National Freezer Pop Day & SCUD Day (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama)

L-I Cher: Sonny and I are perfectly compatible. As soon as there's a problem, my psychiatrist contacts his psychiatrist and they work it out. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: The large ship that comes around once every fall and leaves glitter all over the solar system is full of unicorn hunters.

..........Midnight, not a sound from the pavement..........Barbra Streisand …..Memory

^^ The mission of these institutions as set forth in the 1862 Act is to focus on the teaching of practical agriculture, science, military science, and engineering (though "without excluding...classical studies") as a response to the industrial revolution and changing social classes.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've gotten so old I'm switching from a flying broom to a magic carpet.

Moonbeam: I'll be the person using the shuttle robotic arm. -- Linda Godwin

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie playing golf with a rabbit wearing plus fours

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: So will it be like Joe Biden gets to church and then his name is like - you know how in bodegas when people get caught stealing...Do not serve - and it's going to be Joe Biden. (Brian Babylon) It'll be more like the "Soup Nazi" episode. Except instead of soup, it's the body of Christ. (Peter Sagal) No Christ for you.( Josh Gondelman) Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 6/26/21

Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy. --Thomas Merton

L-I Announcer: The preceding was recorded earlier because we were ashamed to do it now. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: The universal galactic monetary unit is called the starbuck.

..........The skies above are clear again..........Barbra Streisand …..Happy Days Are Here Again

^^^ The first land-grant institution actually created under the Act was Kansas State University, which was established on February 16, 1863, and opened on September 2, 1863.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Good News Headlines: Computer Technician Recovers Memory / Cat Survives Brush With Curiosity --Submitted by FNOG

Weird Word of the Week: Pocillovy – collecting egg cups. From the latin pocillum ovi – small cup eggs

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Protect decorative copper or brass from tarnish. After polishing decorative copper or brass, spray with Alberto VO5 Hair Spray to add a protective coating. ~~This is the last of the hair spray items. I did not like this list. I can't believe people sprayed this on their hair, day after day. It's a wonder we managed to stay alive.

Puzzle of the Week: This week's challenge comes from listener Iva Allen in Canada. Name a make of car. Write it in all capital letters. Rotate one of the letters 90 degrees and another letter 180 degrees to make a woman's name. What is it? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 6/26/21

L-I : Zsa Zsa Gabor: This program reminds me of my first honeymoon: Nobody knows what they are doing, but everybody laughs. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: they came to share a cure for cancer but the media was too busy reporting on Kim Kardashian's butt to listen.

...........Don't you love farce..........Barbra Streisand …..Send In The Clowns

^^^^ There are fifty-seven 1862 Institutions, located in each state, U.S. territory, and in the District of Columbia. Land-grant university - Wikipedia

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Eskimo: “If I did not know about God and sin would I go to hell?” Priest: “No, not if you did not know.” Eskimo: “Then why did you tell me?” --Submitted by sw of kc

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: InConJunction 40 (2-4, Indianapolis, IN) Celebrating 40 years! InConJunction 40 - SF&F Convention - July 2-4, 2021

Actual Science Conference of the Week: The Role of Nurture on the Star Formation Cycle of Satellite Galaxies 6/30) Germany EAS 2021 (unige.ch)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: MAZDA → WANDA

L-I Sammy Davis Jr: You know, my ancestors picked so much cotton that I still hate to open an aspirin bottle. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: A recent message asked us to tell them where to get a Jewish Space Laser.

..........Misty watercolor memories..........Barbra Streisand …..The Way We Were

^^^^^ Ultimately, most land-grant colleges became large public universities that today offer a full spectrum of educational opportunities. However, some land-grant colleges are private schools, including Cornell University, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and Tuskegee University.

Shameless Self (more or less) Promotion of the Week: Chef David tantalizes your taste buds with his culinary talents... Chef David is my son, David Chris Topher and he does his tantalizing at The Reef restaurant in KC. There's a picture and everything. About Us (thereefkc.com)

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's OK to cut negative people out of your life. Just don't use your fabric scissors. --Stage Directions Magazine

Today's Peace of History, July 2, 1777: Vermont became the first of the United States to abolish slavery.

LI Dick Martin: If you took all the kilts in the world and laid them end to end, you'd have a lot of naked Scotsmen. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: UFO traffic has picked up considerably since they built that hyperspace bypass.

..........I've got to get some life back into my life..........Barbra Streisand …..Before The Parade Passes By

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 2, 2021, Alien ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: If I know what love is, it is because of you. --Hermann Hesse

Cost of War:

As of 7/1/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,143,460,670,470.

As of 6/24/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,141,463,900,815.

As of 7/1/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,045,643,240,364.

As of 6/24/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,044,286,109,218.

As of 7/1/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $864,180,170,744.

As of 6/24/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $862,473,895,768.

As of 7/1/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $352,040.968,545.

As of 6/24/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $351,653.141,769.

As of 7/1/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,405,325,997,722.

As of 6/24/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,399,877,901,927.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

A woman of peace will always endorse peace wherever she goes, because she understands the true value of peace. --Gift Gugu Mona

Famous Last Words: Good Night, Dick. --Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In sign off

..........Dearie should have said so long so long ago..........Barbra Streisand …..So Long Dearie

L-I : John Wayne: The program you have just seen is true. Only the writers will be changed to protect the innocent. / Information on UFOs recently declassified by the pentagon: almost every day NASA receives a message saying DON'T SEND ELON MUSK UP HERE, PLEASE!

May Peace start you up

And Joy carry you through

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: