Famous First Words: Through the snow and sleet and hail... Opening Line Dumbo
Today would have been Johnny Carson's 95th birthday!! I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. / In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy. --Johnny Carson
..........I just can't take no more of Billy Ray..........Weird Al Yankovic …..Achy Breaky Song
Give us a peace of accepting every challenge — The challenge of the poor, the black, of all denied --Langston Hughes
It is a breezy Friday morning. The continuing winds come in gusts; it blows the yellowing leaves from the tree in Bruno's backyard. Bare limbs and dark branches can now be seen through its moving robes. The willow too is thinning but seems to enjoy dancing with the current. Thick clouds hide the sky and keep the temperature just below 40°F. I watch through my window, I do not venture outside. At the door the air is moist and smells of dampness and wet soil. Out my back window no birds, no dogs, no squirrels, or rabbits gambol about and the only noise I hear is computer humming and Puck snorts. I sit up again from watching autumn being blown into the world. I take a long, now tepid gulp of coffee, smile to myself, and start typing. ...
Hope your weekend burns up the road, ePistliers
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When it all gets to be too much, when you're sick of the diversity training and tired of the kneeling, just remember: you always could have picked your own cotton and left us alone. --Submitted by Black Live Matter-LFK
If it weren't for Philo T Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. / Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn. --Johnny Carson
..........As little drops of truth fall from your eyes..........Dwight Yoakam …..Pocket of a Clown
Trivia Questions: It is the 156th Anniversary of the Battle of Westport.
^ The actual battlefield later became which Kansas City park?
^^ With what other famous Civil War battle is the battle often compared?
^^^ Who were the belligerents in the battle?
^^^^ What was the respective size of the two armies?
^^^^^ Who won?
Big Hello: Hello – Bikol (Philippines) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Gotham would have a lot fewer super-villains if they had more safety rails and stuff around giant chemical vats. That city doesn't need Batman, it needs OSHA.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 90% of librarians are spending their weekend putting together their Drunk Librarian costume https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. / They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them. --Johnny Carson
..........Organ transplants are my line..........Weird Al Yankovic …..Like A Surgeon
Moonbeam: I am certain there is too much certainty in the world --Michael Crichton
Naturally Occurring Mandala of the Week: Corn
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Once I became a parent I finally understood the scene where Yoda gets so tired of answering Luke's questions he just dies.
Week of the Week: Meditation Week (19-23) --there are 4 important things in life Compassion … Recognition … Allowance/Acceptance … Peace (CRAP) / A mindful wolf is known as aware wolf.
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. / He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner. --Johnny Carson
..........Here we go again..........Dwight Yoakam …..Suspicious Minds
^ The Battle of Westport was fit in Loose Park, north of the Rose Garden adjacent to 52nd Street. At the time it was described as the field south of Brush Creek.
Almanac: It is Friday, October 23, 2020. The moon is first-quarter today and is in Aquarius. It is IPod Day, National Mole Day, National Pharmacy Technician Day, TV Talk Show Host Day (Johnny Carson's birthday) and Francis E Willard Day aka temperance day. In Thailand it is Chulalongkorn Day (1868).
Among those born on this day were Nicolas Appert (1752), Robert Bridges (1844), Felix Bloch (1905), Gertrude Ederle (1906), Johnny Carson (1925), Diana Dors (1931), Chi Chi Rodriguez (1935), Michael Crichton (1942), Dwight Yoakum (1956), and Weird Al Yaznkovic (1959).
On October twenty third the swallows Depart from San Juan Capistrano, Congress barred blacks from service in the army (1775), the Battle of Wesport (MO) was fought in Loose Park, I think (1864), the New Orleans mint reopened its assay office (1876), 25,000 women marched in NYC demanding the vote (1915), Dumbo was released (1941), Pasternak won the Nobel for Literature (1958), Gabelich set an auto speed record 662.4 mph/1,002 kph (1970), Kosygin resigned as Soviet Premier (1980), and Iraq released 330 French hostages (1990).
Night Sky, 10/23: First-quarter Moon, exact at 9:23 am EDT. Jupiter's Great Red Spot should transit Jupiter's central meridian around 7:10 pm PDT (The West Coast is having its good view of Jupiter around then.) http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max and the monsters
This Week: Saturday, October 24 – United Nations Day & Make A Difference Day
Sunday, October 25 – International Artists Day & Visit A Cemetery Day & Sourest Day
Night Sky, 10/25: Venus rises in the east in deep darkness about 1½ hours before dawn begins. Once dawn is under way, Venus is in fine view as the bright "Morning Star" in the east. Look about a fist at arm's length to its left or upper left for 2nd-magnitude Denebola, Leo's tail-tip.
Monday, October 26 – Cupcake Day & Mule Day & Howl at the Moon Night
Tuesday, October 27 – Black Cat Day & Cranky Co-Workers Day & Navy Day
Wednesday, October 28 - Champagne Day & National Chocolate Day & World Stroke Day
Thursday, October 29 – Internet Day & National Cat Day & National Hermit Day
Night Sky, 10/29: Southern Taurids Meteor Shower – Rate 7/hour Go outside, find a dark spot and look north-east near the constellation of Taurus for the Southern Taurids radiant. Meteor showers are strictly for night owls or early risers. The best time to view the Southern Taurids is from around 21h00 in the evening to dawn when they will have moved to the northwest.
Only lie about the future. / Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. --Johnny Carson
..........I'm crawling with … microscopic bacteria..........Weird Al Yankovic …..Germs
^^ The Battle of Westport is sometimes referred to as the “Gettysburg of the West” because it is considered the turning point of the war west of the Mississippi.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I am so tired of people running around with a mouthful of scripture and a heart full of hate.
Moonbeam: Do you know what we call opinion in the absence of evidence? We call it prejudice. --Michael Crichton
Late Night Snacks of the Week: People should be skeptical of anything where Rudy Giuliani is the source, just as a rule in life. --Trevor Noah / If you’re Purelling and microwaving your ballot then I’m OK with you sitting this one out. --Jimmy Kimmel / Trump is incapable of acknowledging nuance – in his world, you’re either f*cking someone or you’re getting f*cked. And that’s not a great perspective when it comes to cooperating on global health. --John Oliver / So Fauci influences Trump’s Covid policy the same way we do – by staring in horror at the TV and saying, ‘That’s gonna be a problem,’ --Stephen Colbert / It's a major problem except in Wyoming which has so few people that each senator's only constituent is the other senator. --Samantha Bee
Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie viewing Max and the Monsters
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: The Lord, they say, moves in mysterious ways. But sometimes, the Lord says, to heck with mystery and cutteth (ph) right to the chase. And so it came to be in the year of our Lord 2020, in the land of New York on the lake of George, there came to be a man named Jimmy McDonald. And yea was Jimmy on a kayaking trip with his family. And lo did Jimmy's kayak float away from his family, so engrossed was he . And ye, there came to be a great tumult upon the waters. Jimmy's kayak did flippeth (ph) upside down, and Jimmy did fall into the water, where he did struggle to hold onto the boat while keeping his smartphone aloft above the waves, for it did costeth (ph) 1,400 bucks, and lo, he had not sprung for an Otter Box. And yea, though he saw the other canoes and swimmers pass by, he did not call out, for he was proud. And so Jimmy did close his eyes and pray to the Lord for deliverance. And yea, what did he see in the distance but a floating tiki bar boat? And yea, did the festive Hawaiian-themed booze-craft bestride the waters, just like our savior did upon the sea of Galilee, only with more cocktail umbrellas and chunks of pineapple. And straightway, Jimmy was lifted onto the boat, where he discovered it had been rented out by a group of Catholic priests and seminarians. And thus was Jimmy delivered from the waters of the George. And verily, there was much rejoicing among those that were in the tiki boat who probably had a few pina coladas and mai tais - or, if thou will, God al-mai tais (ph). --Adam Burke Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me 9/12/20
Give us a peace that will produce great schools — As the war produced great armament --Langston Hughes
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. / Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday. --Johnny Carson
..........Run back home to that Southern land..........Dwight Yoakam …..I Sang Dixie
^^^ The US aka the Union aka the North commanded by Samuel R Curtis fought the CSA aka the Confederacy aka Army of Missouri commanded by Sterling Price.
Worthless Fact of the Week: There's a volcano in Guatemala, Santiaguito, that erupts every hour. It's been doing so for over a century.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I have washed my hands so much I've uncovered a nightclub stamp from 25 years ago. --Submitted by #RHOZ
Weird Word of the Week: Operose – Involving or displaying a lot of effort https://www.lexico.com/explore/weird-and-wonderful-words
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Store crayons. Keep a few crayons in a Ziploc Storage Bag for trips so kids always have something to do in restaurants. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/ziploc.html
New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved. / It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, “If you want it your way, cook it yourself”. --Johnny Carson
...........Plus we need curly fries..........Weird Al Yankovic …..Stuck In The Drive-Thru
^^^^ Commander Curtis commanded 22,000 union troops against 8,500 of Price's rebel force.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Damn! Biden's gonna raise taxes on my friends making over $400,000. Oh, wait, I don't have any friends making over $400,000. --Submitted by ma of va
Quote of the Week: In an ugly world, the only true protest is beauty. --Phil Ochs
Science Fiction Joke of the Week: Science fiction is what we point to when we say it. --Damon Knight
Actual Science Joke of the Week: I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarian and we're skeptical. --Arthur C Clarke
Mild Mannered Curse of the Week: May all your Facebook invites be game invites.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once and year. And then discover once a year is way too often. / A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry: that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island. --Johnny Carson
..........I got heartaches in my pocket..........Dwight Yoakam …..A Thousand Miles from Nowhere
^^^^^ The North won. The Battle of Westport was the largest battle of the Civil War west of the Mississippi River, and one of its most significant. Casualties on both sides were around 1,500 each in killed, wounded, and missing. Price’s Army of Missouri virtually disintegrated after Westport. Furthermore, most of the large guerrilla bands in Missouri followed Price into Arkansas, so that Price’s Raid actually ended bushwhacker and Confederate military activity in the state.
Month of the Week: October is National Sarcastic Awareness Month –Sarcasm is an art. If it were a science, I'd have my PhD. / Being able to respond with sarcasm within seconds of a stupid question is a sign of a healthy brain.
Recreating Famous Painting With Anything You Can Find of the Week:
https://www.boredpanda.com/art-recreation-at-home-museum-challenge/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: This Halloween we will be painting our pumpkins blue. We've seen enough orange to last a lifetime.
Today's Peace of History, October 23, 1915: 33,000 women marched in New York City demanding the right to vote. Known as the "banner parade" because of the multitude of flags and banners carried, it began at 2 o'clock in the afternoon and continued until long after dark, attracting a record-breaking crowd of spectators. Motor cars brought up the rear decorated with Chinese lanterns; once darkness fell, Fifth Avenue was a mass of moving colored lights.
Happiness is finding two olives in your martini when you're hungry. / Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak. --Johnny Carson
..........shredding the files like yeah..........Weird Al Yankovic …..Party At The CIA
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle October 23, 2020, Hereee's ePistle. Calm, Crazy, and Carson. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: God created dinosaurs. God destroyed dinosaurs. God created man. Man destroyed God. Man created dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man...Woman inherits the earth. --Michael Crichton
Cost of War:
As of 10/22/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,072,415,334,203.
As of 10/15/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,070,351,752,730.
As of 10/22/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $997,359,886,417.
As of 10/15/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $995,957,560,042.
As of 10/22/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $803,480,748,701.
As of 10/15/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $801,718,155,791.
As of 10/22/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $338,245,584,147.
As of 10/15/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $337,845,047,516.
As of 10/22/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,211,502,377,686.
As of 10/15/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,205,873,273,496.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
Give us a peace that will enlist -- A mighty army serving human kind --Langston Hughes
Famous Last Words: You're making history. --Final line Dumbo – the original 1941 version.
..........If I can find my mind now, I guess I'll just leave..........Dwight Yoakam …..Guitars, Cadillacs
Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat. / The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. --Johnny Carson
May Peace bless your morning
And Joy grace your evening
prairie mama
christine
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