Famous First Words: By the Govrn, in Council & Representatives of his Majties… Yale University Charter, 1701
Here's the deal...It is Wednesday and I have discovered that I have been curating this ePistle with a November 9th not an October 9th calendar. So...I had these library jokes. They were sent to me by fb of ks. Enjoy! -- The library banned drinks after someone poured milk on the serials. / What book did the librarian take out for her cat? The Prince and the Paw-purr.
..........So everything is fine, fine.........Peter Tosh …..I Am That I Am
A certain combination of incompetence and indifference can cause almost as much suffering as the most acute malevolence. --Bruce Catton
It is mid morning on a beautiful Friday. 68°F is perfect for being out in the breeze that whips the willows and makes the oak leaves giggle. The wispy ends of decorative tall grass wave like tiny flags while the sun moves from nearly horizontal to a 90° angle. The flash of a bluebird momentarily distracts from the busy foliage but disappears into Bruno's yard. Birdsong is varied and steady...a quarrel of sparrows drift by talking intensely, a murder of crows caw from some unseen position to the north, and stringent warnings of the bluebird blend into a soundtrack of morning. Puck and I return to the house, to the aroma of fresh brewed coffee and a small bowl of milk. And now I sit sipping decaf, watching butterflies outside my window, and writing to you. Ahhh.
Hope your weekend checkmates boredom, ePistliers.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions. --Submitted by lj of ks
How do librarians flirt? They give out their call number. / Librarians love a good joke—they always get the reference.
..........Him turn around bite you.........Peter Tosh …..Maga Dog
Trivia Questions:: It's World Egg Day !! What do you know about eggs?
^ Besides chicken eggs, what other eggs are also common food sources?
^^ More or less how long does it take a hen to produce an egg?
^^^ What is the difference between brown and white eggs?
^^^^ How many of the eggs sold in the US are still in the shell?
^^^^^ About how many eggs did US chickens produce in 2019?
Big Hello: Nomoska – Assamese (Bangladesh) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'd have sent Corona Don a “get well soon” card, but I couldn't find a mailbox.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 26% of arguments between librarians are settled by a violent game of Scrabble https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
What advice do you get from a librarian? Believe in your shelf. / Dystopian books are so 1984.
..........He's the omnipotent.........Peter Tosh …..Rastafari Is
Moonbeam: By the street of by-and-by, one arrives at the house of never. --Cervantes
Naturally Occurring Mandala of the Week: Marigold – one of the official flowers of October
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dear Facebook Spy Agency. You literally track everything I buy or search online...please, stop pretending you don't know if I am registered to vote. --Submitted by #RHOZ
Week of the Week: National Carry A Tune Week (4-10) –I thought I heard an onion singing a Bee Gees' song. It turned out it was just a chive talking. / I keep sneezing and singing “My Way” by Sinatra. I think I've got the crooner virus.
Why did the cardiologist recommend that his patients go to the library? He heard it's good for circulation. / That book about anti-gravity is impossible to put it down.
..........This-ism, That-ism, ism ism ism........John Lennon …..Give Peace A Chance
^ Birds: Chicken, Quail, Duck, Goose, Turkey, Ostrich, Bantam. Fish: Caviar, Roe, Hilsa
Almanac: It is Friday, October 9, 2020. The moon is first-quarter tonight and is in Cancer. It is UN World Post Day (UPU/Tokyo Congress 1969/ Res.C.11), Leif Erikson Day, National Chess Day, and World Egg Day. In
Ecuador it is Guayaquil's Independence Day (1820) and in Hong Kong they celebrate Confucius' Birthday. In the Khmer Republic it is Republic Day (1970). Minnesota commemorates Leif Ericson Day (c 1000). Peru celebrates Day of National Dignity (1968) while South Korea commemorates Hangual Day aka Korean Alphabet Day (1446). Tanganyika (1961) and Uganda (1962) celebrate Independence Day.
Among those born on this day were Cervantes (1547), Charles X (of France, 1757), Martin E. Johnson (1884), Aimee Semple McPherson (1890), Bruce Catton (1899), Alastair Sims (1900), Leopold Senghor (1906), Howard Hung (1918), Robert Shaw (1927), John Lennon (1940), Peter Tosh (1944), Jackson Browne (1948), Robert Whul (1951), Scott Bakula (1954), and Mike Singletary (1959).
On October ninth Leif Ericson "discovered" Vinland aka New England (1000), Roger Williams was banished from the Massachusetts Bay Colony (1635), Yale was chartered (1701), the calliope was patented (1855), the American Humane Association was organized (1877), Woodrow Wilson became the first president to attend a world series game (1915), the first transcontinental flight by a woman, Laura Ingalls, was completed (1930), the first electric blanket was manufactured (1946), Tanganyika became independent within the British Commonwealth (1961), Uganda became independent within the British Commonwealth (1963), and Kathy Sullivan became the first woman to walk in space (1984).
Night Sky, 10/9: Last-quarter Moon (exact at 7:40 pm. CDT). The Moon rises around 11 local time. Once it does, look for Pollux a few degrees to its left and Castor above Pollux. Way high above them at that time is Capella. Far to their right, Orion is on the way up. By dawn Saturday morning the 10th, the Moon stands high in the southeast — with the Gemini twin stars glimmering to its upper left and brighter Procyon farther to its lower right. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max and his first mask ...also dad, pumpkins, and a mouse
This Week: Saturday, October 10 – Costume Swap Day & National Cake Decorating Day
Sunday, October 11 – International Day of the Girl Child & National Coming Out Day
Night Sky, 10/11: The Great Square of Pegasus balances on its corner high in the east at nightfall. For your location, when is it exactly balanced? That is, when is the Square's top corner exactly above its bottom corner? This will be sometime soon after the end of twilight, depending on your latitude. Try lining up the stars with the vertical edge of a building as a measuring tool.
Did you know that National No Bra Day is the same day as National Coming Out Day? Wonder if that is on purpose.
Monday, October 12 – Native American Day & Free Thought Day
Thoughts on Free Thought Day: For moral reasons I am an atheist — for moral reasons. I am of the opinion that you would recognize a creator by his creation, and the world appears to me to be put together in such a painful way that I prefer to believe that it was not created by anyone than to think that somebody created this intentionally. --Stanislaw Lem
Tuesday, October 13 – English Language Day & Silly Sayings Day
Wednesday, October 14 – Emergency Nurses Day & International Top Spinning Day & National Fossil Day
Night Sky, 10/14: Mars rises in early twilight. As night comes on it glares fiery orange and Jupiter-bright low in the east. It climbs higher as the hours pass, then blazes at its highest and telescopic best around 1 am daylight-saving time, beaming down from high in the south in Pisces.
Thursday, October 15 – Conflict Resolution Day & National Grouch Day & White Cane Safety Day
Wow Moment of the Week: Do you remember a lovely little movie called Educating Rita? Today. on Jeopardy I learned that Rita grew up to be Mrs Wesley in the Harry Potter movies. How delightful!! Her name is Julie Walters, she was also in the Paddington and the Mama Mia movies.
How do libraries make sure novels stay warm? They give them book jackets. / I can’t go out tonight. I’m booked.
..........What in the world were you thinking of........John Lennon …..Instant Karma
^^ It requires 24-26 hours for one chicken to produce one egg.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Heard of the Week: President Trump is in the hospital from Covid and I just want to say my heart goes out to Covid. --Chris Rock Saturday Night Live 10/3/20
Moonbeam: In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd. --Cervantes
Late Night Snacks of the Week: At least 30 people in Trump’s circle have tested positive for the virus since last week, including aide Hope Hicks, adviser Kellyanne Conway, and personal assistant Nick Luna. It’s almost as if the writers of 2020 didn’t know how to wrap the story up so then they were like ‘uh, and then they all get coronavirus, the end,’ --Trevor Noah / The stunt coincided with reports that Don Jr was “deeply upset” by the ride-around and thought his father was “acting crazy”. “You know things have gone off the rails when Don Jr becomes the voice of reason --Jimmy Fallon
Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie – coming right at ya
Still Another Funniest Thing I Heard of the Week: It's a shame nothing is built in the US any more. I just bought a tv and it said “BUILT IN ANTENNA”. I don't even know where that is. --Submitted by INRITH
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: New research shows crows are capable of conscious, self-aware thought, something scientists have previously only seen in primates and humans. So when crows are eating that rotting possum corpse, it's not instinct. They actually thought that's what they'd like to have for dinner. Now all we need to do is crossbreed a crow, which can think, and a parrot, which can talk, and the bird's first words will be, wait. Why do I want a cracker? --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me 10/3/20
To learn to get along without, to realize that what the world is going to demand of us may be a good deal more important than what we are entitled to demand of it – this is a hard lesson. --Bruce Catton
I can’t go out tonight. I’m booked. / Are you a library book? Because I am checking you out.
..........the future is brighter and now is the hour.........John Lennon …..Borrowed Time
^^^ When it comes to color of the egg, the key lies in the breed of chicken. In general, white-feathered chickens with white earlobes lay white eggs, and reddish-brown-feathered chickens with red earlobes lay brown eggs. There are also breeds that lay less commonly found blue eggs and speckled eggs.
Worthless Fact of the Week: Ever stopped to think where oxygen comes from? Your first thought may be a rainforest, but marine organisms take the bait. Plankton, seaweed and other photosynthesizers produce over half of the world’s oxygen.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Boy, it's hard trying to discipline the YOU out of your child. --Submitted nm of ks
Weird Word of the Week: Liripipe – the long dangling tail of a medieval hood. https://www.lexico.com/explore/weird-and-wonderful-words
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Pack a child's suitcase with ease. Organize your children's outfits in jumbo Ziploc Storage Bags. Put a matching top, bottom, a pair of underwear and socks in each bag, so kids know exactly what they're going to wear each day of a vacation. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/ziploc.html ~~Or you could get a life
Why are libraries the tallest buildings in the world? Because they have so many stories! / A book fell on the librarian’s head—she only had her shelf to blame.
..........No need for greed or hunger........John Lennon …..Imagine
^^^^ About 2/3 of the chicken eggs produced in the US each year are sold in the shell.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you die in Missouri you respawn in the last QuikTrip you went to. --Submitted by ae of mo
Science Fiction Joke of the Week: As science pushes forward, ignorance and superstition gallop around the flanks and bite science in the rear with big dark teeth. --Philip Jose Farmer
Actual Science Joke of the Week: NASA scientists announced the discovery of 50 new planets, among them what they’re calling Super Earth. It’s indistinguishable from regular earth until it removes its glasses. -- Peter Sagal
Mild Mannered Curse of the Week: May every sock you wear be slightly rotated, just enough for it to be uncomfortable.
Where does the library keep books about Big Foot? The large-print section. / That book about Stockholm Syndrome is hard to get into, but by the end it’s great.
..........I've got your number, if it's still the same........Jackson Browne …..You Love The Thunder
^^^^^ US table egg production totaled 99.1 billion in 2019, up 3% from 2018.
Month of the Week: October is Church Library Month. For months the east end of the church's main hallway had been under reconstruction.. Rumor was that they were constructing a library, but it was all very hush, hush. / There are 2 kinds of church library patrons – those you use bookmarks and those who are going to hell.
Recreating Famous Painting With Anything You Can Find of the Week:
https://www.boredpanda.com/art-recreation-at-home-museum-challenge/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm staying home today. I have mood poisoning. --Submitted by INRITH
Today's Peace of History, October 9, 2007: The Imagine Peace Tower, a work conceived by Yoko Ono and dedicated to John Lennon’s memory, was dedicated on the island of Videy, within sight of Reykjavik, Iceland. The LennonOno Grant for Peace will be awarded there each year. Iceland was chosen because Iceland has no standing army and it is a world leader on the environment. The installation bears the inscription, Imagine Peace, in 24 languages
Why did the librarian fall down? He was in the non-friction section. / Dewey look good together?
.........Was I unwise to leave them open for so long..........Jackson Browne …..Doctor, My Eyes
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle October 9, 2020, ePistle Bibliotek. Love, Libraries, & Levity. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: Those who'll play with cats must expect to be scratched. --Miguel de Cervantes
Cost of War:
As of 10/8/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,068,388,978,360.
As of 10/1/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,066,417,343,913.
As of 10/8/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $994,623,654,533.
As of 10/1/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $993,283,694,104.
As of 10/8/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $800,041,253,046.
As of 10/1/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $798,356,737,188.
As of 10/8/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $337,463,935,462.
As of 10/1/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $337,081,091,730.
As of 10/8/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,200,518,656,294.
As of 10/1/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,195,139,639,430.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
Yet there is a dignity in the human spirit which can become most clearly visible in the moment of defeat and disaster. --Bruce Catton
Famous Last Words: I want to see Sean before he goes to sleep. --Last words spoken by John Lennon
..........I'd love to stick around but I'm running behind..........Jackson Browne …..Running On Empty
Why did Dracula go to the library? He wanted to sink his teeth into a good book. / A man goes into a library and asks for a book on cliffhangers. The librarian says:
May Peace drive your plot
And Joy write your dialogue
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:
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