Famous First Words: Well, This morning has started out like a galloping golden retriever on a freshly waxed hardwood floor. Not Right Metaphors
Happy Halloween 'een!! Ichabod was afraid of everything, especially at Halloween. He was walking home on the 31st when he heard a strange snuffling noise behind him. He ran so hard he fell into a pile of pumpkins. He fell on some, some fell on him. The coroner said he was gourd to death. / On Halloween all the skeletons in town have a big party, they call it an Osetoblast.
..........Writing's on the wall.........Stevie Wonder & Jeff Beck …..Superstition
Power always thinks...that it is doing God's service when it is violating his laws. --John Adams
It is a cold (39°F) but windless Friday morning. The sun is rising over the trees and housetops, slowly enlightening the thinning trees and still green grass. Bruno is walking the perimeter sniffing and looking. But Puck is asleep at my feet. His snuffling and the hum of the computer sing fajr for me. A squirrel skitters down a tree branch stopping to fluff his tail, perhaps he is practicing his dance moves for a political rally later. I bring my coffee cup up to my face and inhale the steamy richness twice, before taking a sip. Ah, at last the morning can really begin.
Hope your weekend scare is all in fun, my glorious goblins
Halloween Advice: Never trust Wiccapedia. It said it was a simple sleep potion recipe but instead I woke up to an ice storm.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've spent the last 3 hours on the IRS website but I haven't found the Pre-Pay button yet.
Anyone else feel like Halloween is unnecessary this year? I've been wearing a mask and eating candy for 7 months now. I don't think I need a day dedicated to it anymore... --Submitted by #RHOZ / A vampire's worst fear is tooth decay.
Real Scary Stuff: It's exhausting being a liberal. Latte-drinking snowflake one day, raging mob member the next. Whew!
..........And something evil's lurking in the dark.........Michael Jackson …..Thriller
Trivia Questions: Happy National Candy Corn Day
^ Any idea who invented candy corn~~If I ever invent a time machine, I promise to go back in time and stop him or her.
^^ Goelitz Confectionery Co first manufactured the candy; know what they called it?
^^^ About how many “kernels” are sold annually?
^^^^ Care to guess the calorie count of a single kernel?
^^^^^ Besides chicken feed what other kinds of candy corn are there?
Big Hello: Halo – Bislama (Vanuatu, Oceania) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In case you thought 2020 couldn't get any worse, Merriam-Webster just officially recognized “irregardless” as a word. --Jamie Lee Curtis --Submitted by ss of mo
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 42% of librarian dates end up with one person looking something up on Wikipedia while the other checks IMDB https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Obligatory Super Hero Joke: Batman and Robin dressed up as Laurel and Hardy for Halloween. / I hear that both North and South Scarolina are filled with goblins and ghouls. / It is only bad luck to be chased by a black cat if you are a mouse.
Real Scary Stuff: WTF, I Fell in love and now I gotta share a bedroom for the rest of my life?
..........I was trailed by twenty hounds.........Grateful Dead …..Friend of the Devil
Moonbeam: The soul is healed by being with children. --Fyodor Dostoevsky
Naturally Occurring Mandala of the Week: Pumpkin
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Glass coffins … will they be ppular? Remains to be seen --Submitted by INRITH
Week of the Week: International Magic Week (25-31) --I bought a magic carpet but it has never guessed one of the cards I've drawn. / If you like magic, raise your hand. If you don't like magic, raise your standards.
Obligatory Chicken Joke: Why didn't the ghost cross the road? He didn't have any body to go with him. / Witches rarely have children because so many wizards have crystal balls.
Real Scary Stuff: Trump could shoot me on 5th Avenue and I would still find a way to vote for Biden. --Submitted by bu of ks
..........I see trouble on the way..........Creedence Clearwater Revival …..Bad Moon Rising
^ Candy corn was invented by George Renninger, an employee of the Wunderle Candy Company of Philadelphia in the 1880.
Almanac: It is Friday, November 30, 2020. The moon will be full (Hunter's and Blue) tomorrow. It is Checklist Day, Create A Great Funeral Day, Devil's Night or Mischief Night, Haunted Refrigerator Night, and National Candy Corn Day. Because it is the last Friday it is also Frankenstein Friday, International Bandanna Day, and National Breadstix (Bread Sticks) Day.
Among those born on this day were John Adams (1735), Richard Sheridan (1751), Feodor Dostoevski (1821), Ezra Pound (1885), Charles Atlas (1893), Ruth Hussey (1917), Ted Williams (1918), Ernie Flatt (1928), Louis Malle (1932), Jim Perry (1936), Grace Slick (1939), Henry Winkler (1945), Robert L "Hoot" Gibson ( 1946), Harry Hamlin (1951), and JoAnne Russell (1954).
On November thirtieth Helena, MT was founded (1864), the ballpoint pen was patented (1888), Welles' War of the Worlds broadcast paniked the nation (1938), the USSR and Germany agreed to partition Poland (1939), shoe rationing ended in the US (1945), the US military desegregated (1954), and Stalin's coffin was removed from Red Square (1961).
Night Sky, 10/30: Vega is the brightest star very high in the west these evenings. Its little constellation Lyra extends to its left, pointing as always to Altair, currently the brightest star high in the southwest. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max as unsung Superhero Cardboard Man
This Week: Saturday, October 31 – National Doorbell Day & National Knock-Knock Joke Day & Samhain
Night Sky,10/31: Full Moon for Halloween. The Moon (exactly full at 10:49 a.m. EDT) rises in the east about a half hour after sunset, depending on your location. This is the second full Moon in calendar October in many of the world's time zones, including those of the Americas, making this a "blue moon" for those time zones.
Daylight Savings Time Ends a Sunday November 1st at 2 am
Sunday, November 1 – Plan Your Epitaph Day & Give Up Your Shoulds Day & World Vegan Day
Night Sky, 11/1: Every Halloween – and a few days before and after – the brilliant star Arcturus sets at the same time and on the same spot on the west-northwest horizon as the summer sun. What’s more, this star rises at the same time and at the same place on the east-northeast horizon as the sun does during the dog days of summer.
Monday, November 2 – Cookie Monster Birthday
Tuesday, November 3 – Cliché Day & Public Television Day
Wednesday, November 4 – National Me Make Dinner Day & Stout Day
Night Sky, 11/4: Uranus is well up in the east by 9 pm dst about 20° east of Mars. Neptune is a little higher in the south-southeast at that time.
Thursday, November 5 – Firewood Day & Play Monopoly Day
Obligatory Walks into a bar Joke: A witch walks into a bar and the bartender asks her, “How do you like your poison?” The witch answers with an apple, thanks. / Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? She didn't have the guts. / Is it true that vampires make tea with used tampons?
Real Scary Stuff: If you think Pope Francis is too liberal, wait until you meet Jesus. –Submitted by sd of ks
..........She can rock you in the night-time 'til your skin turns red.........Eagles …..Witchy Woman
^^ When Goelitz first produced candy corn it was called “chicken feed”. The boxes were illustrated with a rooster logon and the slogan “Something worth crowing for”.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How much mint do I have to muddle into this mojito for it to count as a serving of vegetables?
Halloween Advice: You can act as spiritual as you want, but if you go around doing horrible things to people, then you are still a prick.
Moonbeam: Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. --Ezra Pound
Late Night Snacks of the Week: This whole year, everyone has been waiting for an October surprise, and it turns out the October surprise is that we’re still talking about the same shit we were talking about in March. --Trevor Noah / His latest slogan is “No oil, no guns, no God.” Finally, the long-awaited sequel to Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV. --Jimmy Kimmel / If you looked at the recent Covid news, you might want to Purell your eyeballs, because it’s clear that this virus is going everywhere, fast. --Stephen Colbert / Trump will only be happy if every time you turn on the evening news, the top story is ‘handsome president wows nation with dance moves!’ --Seth Meyers
Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie in an unidentified animal hoodie.
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Fear of being on Zoom when you do not want to be on Zoom. After eight months of doing everything virtually, people have become terrified that they're still screen-sharing when they're doing things they no longer want to share, like eating or undressing or Toobin. But this is more or less inevitable for all of us. We spend so much time in front of our screen for work and for socializing and then for entertainment. And then when we finally get away from our screens, we end up in a hotel room with Borat's daughter, and we have to lie down to tuck in our shirt. It never ends. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me 10/24/20
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I only realised I had the talent when I noticed that the rabbit playing opposite Patrick Stewart in Waiting For Godot was the same one I'd seen playing Buttons to Les Dennis's Widow Twanky in 1982. --Jasper Fforde The Constant Rabbit
Great is the guilt of an unnecessary war. --John Adams
I always gave my children the same advice when I sent them out to trick or treat: Remember, I like Snickers and M&Ms. / Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop. / The mummy walked into a bar and ordered a double scotch. She wanted to unwind.
Real Scary Stuff: My mask broke at the store. I felt like Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl.
..........He's the hairy-handed gent who ran amuck in Kent.........Warren Zevon …..Werewolves of London
^^^ According to the National Confectioners Association, about 9 billion kernels (more than 35 million pounds) of candy corn are sold annually.
Worthless Fact of the Week: Phobias are caused by memories passed down genetically from our ancestors.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's as if Camus, Kafka, Beckett, Ionesco, Vonnegut, and Brecht all got together, got drunk on absinthe and wrote 2020. --Submitted by eg of mt
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A guy tried to sell me a coffin today. I hold him, “That's the last thing I need.”
Weird Word of the Week: Panurgic – able or ready to do anything https://www.lexico.com/explore/weird-and-wonderful-words
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Store leftovers. Keep leftovers for single services in Ziploc Storage Bags for quick meals. ~~I do not think this is a wacky use – I believe it is the use for which the bags were invented.
When the grim reaper comes for me I intend to compliment his hoodie. / A dyslexic vampire walks into a bra. / I understand that vampires are giving free COVID-19 tests to any interested human.
Real Scary Stuff: At my age I don't use facebook to connect with old friends, I use a Ouija board.
...........And then she is the darkness.........Fleetwood Mac …..Rhiannon
^^^^ One candy corn is about 5 calories. A one-ounce serving has 110 calories.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: To all my northern friends...Your weather is down here in my yard drunk. I'm gonna need you to come down here and get it. --Submitted by #RHOZ
Science Fiction Joke of the Week: People who deny the existence of dragons are often eaten by dragons. From within. --Ursula K Le Guin
Actual Science Joke of the Week: Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it. --Albert Einstein
Mild Mannered Curse of the Week: May you never remember these curses when you try to.
Dorothy the Demon was arrested for possession. / A man dressed as a dwarf for Halloween walks under the bar. / Witch Hazel became angry at the used car salesman's insinuation. “I can drive a stick better than anyone in town,” she declared.
Real Scary Stuff: There's an app for your phone that will identify which of your high school friends would have joined the Nazi party in the 1930s. It's called “Facebook”.
.........Their brands were still on fire and their hooves were made of steel.........Vaughn Monroe …..Riders In The Sky
^^^^^ Jelly Belly currently makes candy corn and 1) Valentine's Day (pin, red, and white) 2) Reindeer Corn (green, white, and red) 3) Bunny Corn – pastel colors) Brach's makes Indian Corn for Thanksgiving (brown, orange, and white) and Autumn Mix candy corn.
Month of the Week: November is National Gratitude Month --I feel a very unusual sensation – if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude. / I just wanted to wish you a happy early Thanksgiving before my will to live is drained by everything involved with Thanksgiving.
Recreating Famous Painting With Anything You Can Find of the Week:
https://www.boredpanda.com/art-recreation-at-home-museum-challenge/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you're ever sad, just remember the world is 4,543 billion years old and somehow you managed to exist at the same time as The Beatles. --Submitted by rhb of ks
Today's Peace of History, October 30, 1995: Over 80 people were arrested at Sugarloaf Mountain in southern Oregon during a massive direct action to prevent clear-cutting of old-growth forests on public land by private timber companies.
Halloween. Wearing masks, eating candy, listening to scary stuff. Isn't that what we've been doing the last 7 months? / If every time a door closes another one opens, your house may be haunted. / Greta the teenage ghost used to spend all day on the couch with her phone and the TV. It was a case of paranormal inactivity.
Real Scary Stuff: Currently, my years are carrying my headphones, sunglasses, and a face mask. Ears are the new purse.
..........What goes up ghost around, ghost around.........Beyonce …..Haunted
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle November 30, 2020, Eerie ePistle. So much peace and so many jokes it's scary. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: He is the very pineapple of politeness. --Richard Sheridan
Cost of War:
As of 10/29/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,074,331,007,720.
As of 10/22/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,072,415,334,203.
As of 10/29/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $998,662,476,437.
As of 10/22/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $997,359,886,417.
As of 10/29/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $805,118,445,014.
As of 10/22/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $803,480,748,701.
As of 10/29/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $338,617,807,824.
As of 10/22/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $338,245,584,147.
As of 10/29/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,216,731,323,694.
As of 10/22/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,211,502,377,686.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
Let us tenderly and kindly cherish, therefore, the means of knowledge. Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write. --John Adams
Halloween Advice: Keep your friends close and your enemies in your cauldron.
Famous Last Words: Under the dawn of that last great day. War of the World radio script.
.........Going to a party where on one's still alive.........Oingo Boingo …..Dead Man's Party
Real Scary Stuff: The downside of voting early is that you still have to endure those annoying political ads.
I stopped going to Trick or Treat the year I brought home a bag of restraining orders. / Buffy had a great night; she killed 25 vampires and every one of them was carrying a bag of candy. / If the door opens and you yell “Trick...” and can't remember the rest, you're probably too old to be trick or treating.
May Peace be your trick
And Joy be your treat
prairie mama
christine
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