Famous
First Words: Once upon a time, or maybe twice...
Yellow Submarine
Happy
Sports Cliches Week! I know I am getting better at golf because I am
hitting fewer spectators. --Gerald Ford
..........What
you say and what you will.........Diahann Carroll …..Blah, Blah,
Blah
Today
the winds of hope blow through Latin America and the Caribbean
--Daniel Ortega
It
is a dewy Friday morning. The 79°F temperature and 85% humidity
make most of the outside surfaces damp – grass, patio furniture,
fences. It is a morning of vivid colors – green mostly, but a
little blue sky with a bunch of fluffy white clouds, flowers of red
and yellow, and Puck's white fluff paralleling the clouds above. I
water the tomato plant whose tomatoes are still green while Puck
investigates the neighbors' fences for dogs or squirrels or rabbits –
anything that moves. There is little breeze and the willow branches
hang nearly still. The birds too are relatively calm for such a
beautiful morning. Only the chatter of unseen sparrows graces the
ear. The beauty of the morning also holds a hint of oppressive heat
and humidity to come. We retreat indoors where I fix my coffee –
sweet, creamy, hot – and sit down to write to you. Puck? He's
sleeping under my desk.
Hope
your weekend takes it one game at time, ePistliers.
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
The living room curtains were drawn, but the rest of the furniture
was real. --Submitted by fnog
All
hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.
--Gordie Howe
..........I
wish I was a soft refrain.........Phoebe Snow …..Harp's Blues
Trivia
Questions: Happy Birthday, Disneyland!
^
How much did it cost to build in 1955?
^^
Care to guess what tickets cost in 1955?
^^^
What is the price of a ticket today?
^^^^
Any idea the size of the park in 1955 and now?
^^^^^
About how many people visited Disneyland in 2019?
Big
Hello:
Эзендер
(Ezender) – Altay (Altay Republic)
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sign
outside a London pub: All Americans must be accompanied by an adult.
--Submitted by ae of mo
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
100% of library decisions are made when a vote gets a majority of
sighs. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
The
first half was even, the second half was even worse. --Pat Spillane
..........Oh,
drop a line to say you're feeling fine.........Diahann Carroll
…..I'll Be Around
Moonbeam:
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. --Phyllis Diller
Naturally
Occurring Mandala of the Week: July bloom – Dahlia
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
I'm no governor but I was shutting down bars long before
Coronavirus. --Submitted by #RHOZ
Week
of the Week: National
Ventriloquism Week
(15-18) --I've
fallen head over heels in love with a ventriloquists doll;
unfortunately, she's already spoken for.
/ A
group of ventriloquists was murdered yesterday. Their screams were
heard a mile away.
Wrestling
is ballet with violence. --Jesse Ventura
..........Let
us share some love.........Phoebe Snow …..Sweet Disposition
^
Disneyland had cost $17 million dollars when it opened.
Almanac:
It is Friday, July 17, 2020. The moon will be new on Monday and is
in Gemini. It is Eid-Al-Fitr, Wrong Way Corrigan Day,
and Yellow Pig Day. In Iraq it is Revolution Day/National Day (1968)
and in south Korea it is Constitution Day (1948). Finally Puerto
Rico celebrates Rivera Day (1859).
Among
those born on this day were John Jacob Astor (1763),
Luis Rivera (1859), Erle Stanley Gardner (1889), James Cagney (1900),
Art Linkletter (1912), Phyllis Diller (1917), Donald Sutherland
(1934), Diahann Carroll (1935), David Hasselhoff (1952), and Phoebe
Snow (1952).
On
July seventeenth Punch
published its first issue (1841), the first photograph of a star was
taken (Vega, 1850), congress authorized paper money (1861), the first
railroad in Hawaii opened (1879), Disneyland opened (1955), Tibet
abolished serfdom (1959), Yellow
Submarine
premiered (1968), the FBI hired it's first female agents (1972), and
Florence Griffith Joyner set the 100m women's record (10.49, 1988).
Night
Sky, 7/17:
As
summer progresses, bright Arcturus is moving down the western side of
the evening sky. Its pale ginger-ale tint always helps identify it.
Arcturus forms the bottom point of the Kite of Bootes. The Kite,
rather narrow, extends upper right from Arcturus by 23°, about two
fists at arm's length. The top of the kite is bent slightly down, as
if something banged into it.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Ollie recreating Munch's The
Scream and
Max shocked by it
This
Week: Saturday, July 18 –
National Caviar Day & Nelson Mandela International Day &
Woodie Wagon Day
Sunday,
July 19 – Anne
Hutchinson Memorial Day & National Ice Cream Day & Flitch
Day
Night
Sky, 7/19:
The
tail of Scorpius is low in the south after dark, lower right of the
Sagittarius Teapot. How
low
depends on how far north or south you live: the farther south, the
higher. Look for the two stars especially close together in the
tail. These are Lambda and fainter Upsilon Scorpii, known as the
Cat's Eyes. They're canted at an angle; the cat is tilting his head
and winking.
Monday,
July 20 – Moon Day & National Lollipop Day & World
Jump Day
Tuesday,
July 21 – National Be Someone Day & No Pet Store Puppies
Day
Wednesday,
July 22 – Casual Pi Day & Spooner's Day
Night
Sky, 7/22:
One
of the nice summer star clusters for binoculars is IC 4665 just over
the eastern shoulder of Ophiuchus.
It's large but sparse, with ten 7th- and 8th-magnitude stars spanning
about a third of a degree. In a telescope they seem to me to spell,
raggedly, the greeting "HI" (when south-southwest is
oriented up).
Thursday,
July 23 – Gorgeous Grandma Day & Hot Enough for Ya Day
Playing
polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake. --Sylvester
Stallone
..........One
of these mornings, you're gonna rise up singing.........Diahann
Carroll …..Summertime
^^
Well, in 1955, park admission cost $1, and
attractions then cost $0.10 – $0.35. There were 35 attractions open
at Disneyland in 1955, which brought the average price-per-attraction
to ~$0.23. Guests could buy attraction ticket booklets for $2.50, but
they only covered eight attractions each and, like the FastPass+,
they only offered one or two tickets per area.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In our civilization, and
under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly
honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
--Ambrose Bierce
Moonbeam:
You know you're old when your walker has an airbag. --Phyllis Diller
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: Donald Trump finally
appeared in public with the safety measure in place during a visit to
Walter Reed medical center. Wow, only four months too late. What’s
he going to do next, drag his Christmas tree out to the curb? Start
making sourdough starter and watching Tiger King? Govern? --Seth
Meyers / Trump finally wearing a mask, yeah, it was a really smart
move – if today were March 13th.
Years from now, that mask will be in the
Smithsonian, and none of us will be able to see it because we’ll
still be in lockdown. --Jimmy Fallon / I
know that part of the reason Trump resisted wearing the mask for so
long is because he is self-conscious about his image. So let me go on
record as saying: President Trump, don’t listen to any of the
haters out there, who are saying you look like a diabetic Bane or
Shredder from the Ninja Turtles if all he shredded was cheese.’ You
look great, so please keep wearing that mask. --Trevor Noah / So
Coronavirus cases are skyrocketing, but don’t worry, because the
White House is working hard on an aggressive new plan: discredit Dr
Anthony Fauci. --Stephen Colbert
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Yes
- and you thought deer vasectomy was just the name of the world's
worst advice column. Due to pandemic-related budget issues, funding
for the $700,000 deer vasectomy program on Staten Island was going to
be, well, cut. But local officials demanded the mayor reconsider,
fearing the borough could be overrun with Staten Island deer. You
don't want that. (Imitating New York accent) Yo, Eddie (ph), come
check out this guy's shrub. It's delicious. --Peter Sagal Wait,
Wait Don't Tell Me 7/11/20
The
man who doesn't ask his country for even a handful of earth for his
grave deserves to be heard, and not only to be heard, but also to be
believed. --Augusto Sandino
Rugby
is a beastly game played by gentlemen; soccer is a gentleman's game
played by beasts; football is a beastly game played by beasts.
--Henry Blaha
..........I
didn't know no better.........Phoebe Snow
…..In My Girlish Days
^^^
Disneyland offers a range of tickets. The cheapest is a two day pass
for a child at $220, The most expensive is an adult park hopper 4
day ticket at $395.
Worthless
Fact of the Week:
The Muskox is the favorite animal of Alex Trebek (Jeopardy host). The
Washington zoo named their new baby
muskox after him.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There
are two rules in life: 1. Never give out all the information
--Submitted by #RHOZ
Weird
Word of the Week:
Disintermediation – cutting out the middle man
http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-dis1.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Pack children's clothes for a trip. Place one outfit into a freezer
bag, zip the bag shut most of the way (leaving an opening roughly
one-inch long), and then sit on the bag to expel the air. Seal the
bag partially shut, place your mouth against the opening, inhale to
suck the remaining air from the bag, and seal the bag shut. The
plastic freezer bags make it easier to stay organized, and sucking
the air from the bags compresses the amount of space the clothes take
up. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/ziploc.html
~~This seemed unnecessarily long and detailed.
I've
never lost a game, I just ran out of time. --Michael Jordan
...........two
left feet, oh, so neat.........Diahann Carroll
…..Sweet Georgia Brown
^^^^
Disneyland opened on 160 acres of orange groves. Today it sits on 500
acres.
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
don't care why you summoned it, put that demon back. NO DON”T LICK
IT. --Goth Auntie —Submitted by arh of ar
Science
Fiction Joke of the Week:
Asimov
also wrote a short story, Jokester,
in which a character wonders where the jokes come from, since so many
people say "I heard a good one", but never "I invented
a good one". His investigation will lead him to think that jokes
are of alien origin and designed to study the psychology of
earthlings.
Actual
Science Joke of the Week: A photon walks into a hotel. The
bellhop asks, “Do you have any luggage?” The photon answers,
“No.....I'm traveling light. --Neil DeGrasse Tyson's geekiest
science joke
Mild
Mannered Curse of the Week: May every “empty” parking
space you see in the distance actually contain a motorcycle.
I
don't have any tricky plays, I'd rather have tricky players. --Abe
Lemons
..........The
sky's a blackboard high above you.........Phoebe
Snow …..Teach Me Tonight
^^^^^
Disneyland drew 18.7 million visitors last year while
the Magic Kingdom hosted 20.9 million visitors, both up 2% from the
year before.
Month
of the Week: Dog Days of Summer
(7/3-8/11) It's so hot Siri asked to be dipped in a glass of ice
water. / It's so hot the Betty Ford Clinic opened a wet bar.
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why
did the chicken cross the road? It had been crossing so long it could
not remember. As it stopped in the middle to look back, a car sped
by, spinning it around. Disoriented, the chicken realized it could no
longer tell which way it was going. It stands there still. --From
Kafka's Joke
Book by
John McNamee
Today's
Peace of History, July
17, 1979: Fighters of the Sandinista
National Liberation Front overthrew the dictatorial regime of Somoza
in the Republic of Nicaragua and forced him to flee the country. The
notorious and feared US-trained National Guard crumbled and its
surviving commanders negotiated a surrender, despite their
superiority in armaments.
The
NFL, like life, is full of idiots. --Randy Cross
..........It's
time to wind up the masquerade.........Diahann
Carroll …..The Party's Over
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle July 17, 2020, Cliched ePistle. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Serenity, Silliness, & Sayings. Exclusive editor: Christine
Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam:
Housework won't kill you, but then again, why take the chance?
--Phyllis Diller
Cost
of War:
As
of 7/16/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,044,683,086,631.
As
of 7/9/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,042,746,657,478.
As
of 7/16/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $978,512,822,347.
As
of 7/9/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $977,196,706,098.
As
of 7/16/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $779,787,636,032.
As
of 7/9/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $778,132,896,886.
As
of 7/16/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $332,860,839,411.
As
of 7/9/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $332,484,724,007.
As
of 7/16/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,135,845,080,405.
As
of 7/9/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,130,561,577,804.
If
we do not cling to riches, selfishness or greed – then I believe we
are getting closer to God. --Daniel Ortega Today's quotes are from
leaders of the Sandinista National Liberation Front.
Famous
Last Words: The ladies have to go first. Goodbye, dearie, I'll
see you later. --John Jacob Astor aboard the Titanic
..........He
has conquered inner space.........Phoebe Snow
…..Take Your Children Home
It's
a round ball and a round bat, and you got to hit it square. --Pete
Rose
May
Peace be your honey
And
Joy be your butter
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
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