Famous
First Words: It's a story they tell in the border country...
Stephen Vincent Benet The Devil & Daniel Webster
It
is World Sleep Day! Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am awake. /
I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed.
..........Set
them free at the break of dawn..........Nena …..99 Luftballons
Our
peace movement denounces all acts of violence and believes that all
those who promote acts of aggression must be held accountable,
It
is a gray Friday morning. The sky is laden with clouds...a thick
white layer with lumps of dark blue and under all that wispy gray
strands. At ground level there is very little wind and the willow
branches are still or wave so lazily it's hard to see them. 41°F is
quite pleasant . Everything is turning green and today I saw yellows
and purples bursting from the ground here and there about town. It
suggests spring and I am very ready. New bird calls, spring bird
calls, many bird calls fill the air announcing spring. Earth even
smells like spring, like damp soil and growth and moss. And then
home to sweetened Moose Munch and a cinnamon roll. Life is good, and
the best part is now I get to sit down and write to you.
May
your weekend be seeded number one, ePistliers ~~Change of greeting
...may your weekend be coronavirus free.
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My leprechaun can't find
his gold. My imaginary friend got kidnapped. The voices in my head
won't talk to me. And my dragon flew away. Oh my, I'm going sane.
--submitted by eg of mt
First
Coronavirus of the Week: Looking to
trade 3 rolls of 2 ply toilet paper and half a can of Lysol for a '68
Camaro. Message me! --Submitted by bu of ks
Time
really flies when you take two naps a day. / I asked by doctor if I
was getting enough beauty sleep and she suggested hibernation.
..........And
everything's so deep..........The Cars …..You Might Think
Trivia
Questions: Happy Birthday, Uncle Sam !
^
Can you name either or both of the figures that Uncle Sam's
appearance is based on?
^^
What British humour magazine helped define the Uncle Sam figure?
^^^
Which US political cartoonist created the figure we still know today?
^^^^
About when was the iconic Uncle Sam wants you recruitment
poster first used?
^^^^^
Any idea who is the female counterpart of Uncle Sam?
Big
Hello:
Molo – Xhosa (South Africa, Botswana and Lesotho)
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Man
with Corona virus seeks woman with Lyme disease. --Submitted by sh
of bc
Second
Coronavirus of the Week: That's odd: My
facebook friends who were constitutional scholars just a month ago
are not infectious disease experts... --R Mekel
2nd
Second Coronavirus of the Week: Due to
all the panic boying, Walmart announced a 2nd
register will be open. --Submitted by ae of mo
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
26% of story time kids prefer the craft glue to whatever snack the
library provides. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
When
my kids went to camp, I slept until 8 am. It felt as magical as
riding out of my bedroom on a unicorn. / Sleep until you're hungry,
eat until you're sleepy.
..........Well,
I've been so many places.........Dwight Twilley …..Girls
Moonbeam:
In
all science, error precedes the truth, and it is better it should go
first than last.
--Hugh
Walpole
Naturally
Occurring Mandala of the Week: Melting Snow
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You
can just start calling yourself an Olympic hopeful. You don't have to
fill out a form or anything. --Simon Holland
Next
Coronavirus of the Week: Symptoms of
Coronavirus include: Chest Pain, Difficulty breathing, fever, and an
urge to travel the world
2nd
Next Coronavirus of the Week: How come
the liquor stores don't have empty shelves? Are people not realizing
they will be quarantined with their spouses and kids?
Week
of the Week: Girl Scout Week (8-14)
How's your Fantasy Girl Scout Cookie League doing? / Girl Scout
Cookies are life's way of rewarding you for giving up on your new
Year's Resolutions.
I
have a sleep disorder. It's called children. / Why is it called
beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll.
..........Oh
mother dear we're not the fortunate ones.........Cindy Lauper
…..Girls Just Want To Have Fun
^
Uncle
Sam's appearance is derived from two earlier symbolic figures in
American folklore: Yankee
Doodle,
a British-inspired nickname for American colonials during the
American Revolution, and Brother
Jonathan,
a rural American wit who, by surprising displays of native
intellgence, always triumphed over his adversaries in plays, stories,
cartoons, and verse.
Almanac:
It is Friday, March 13, 2020. The moon will be last quarter next
Monday and is in Scorpio. It is Digital Learning Day,
Donald Duck Day, Earmuffs Day, Good Samaritan Involvement Day, K-9
Veterans Day, Ken Doll Day, L. Ron Hubbard Day, National Open an
Umbrella Indoors Day, Shabbat Across the US/Canada, and Smart &
Sexy Day. In Liberia it is Decoration Day and in New Mexico it is
Arbor Day. Because it is the 2nd
Friday in March it is also World Sleep Day.
Among
those born on this day were Richelieu (1696), Joseph Priestly (1733),
Jozef II (1741), David Allan (1744), Percival Lowell (1855), Lizzy
Ansingh (1875), Hugh Walpole (1884), Sammy Kaye (1910), LaFayette Ron
Hubbard (1911), Allan Jaffee (1921), J D Slater (1929), Clarence Nash
(voice of Donald Duck, 1936), Neil Sedaka (1939), Stephen Vincent
Benet (1943), William H. Macy (1950), Robin Duke (1954), and Adam
Clayton (1960).
On
March thirteenth Halley's Comet was documented for the twelfth time
(607), Cortez landed in Mexico (1519), Cambridge College was renamed
Harvard (1639), Herschel discovered Uranus (1781), the Uncle Sam
cartoon figure debuted (1852), Arkansas passed an anti-Klan law
(1869), US adopted Standard Time (1884), Tennessee outlawed the
teaching of evolution (1925), Pluto's discovery announced (1930),
Same Time, Next Year
premiered (1975), Konstantin Chernenko's funeral was held (1985), and
the blizzard of '93 hit the northeast US (1993).
Night
Sky, 3/13: Right
after dark at this time of year, five carnivore constellations stand
upright in a row (emerging from hibernation?), from the northeast to
south. They're all seen in profile with their noses pointed up and
their feet (if any) to the right. They are Ursa Major the Big Bear in
the northeast (with the Big Dipper as its brightest part), Leo the
Lion in the east, Hydra the Sea Serpent in the southeast, Canis Minor
the Little Dog higher in the south-southeast, and bright Canis Major
the Big Dog in the south.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Cowboy Max checking out the pasture.
This
Week: Saturday, March 14 – Pi
Day & Save a Spider Day & Write Your Story Day
Sunday,
March 15 – Ides of March & Buzzards Day & World
Consumer Rights Day
Night
Sky, 3/15: At nightfall, the Big Dipper is
high in the northeast and beginning to tip left. Look well to its
left (about three fists at arm's length) for Polaris and the dim
Little Dipper. Other than Polaris, all you may see of the Little
Dipper through light pollution are the two stars forming the outer
end of its bowl: Kochab (similar to Polaris in brightness) and below
it, fainter Pherkad. Find these two "Guardians of the Pole"
to Polaris's lower right, by about a fist and a half at arm's length.
Monday,
March 16 – Black Press Day & Curlew Day & Panda Day
Tuesday,
March 17 – Campfire Day & St. Patrick's Day & World
Social Work Day
Wednesday,
March 18 – Forgive Mom and Dad Day & Awkward Moments Day
& National Public Defense Day
Night
Sky, 3/18: Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn are lined
up diagonally low in the southeast as dawn begins.
Thursday,
March 19 – Vernal Equinox aka Ostara & Data Innovation
Day & World Storytelling Day
Sleeping
is my drug. My bed is my dealer and the alarm clock is the narc. /
It really hurts when someone you love says mean things to you
like,”It's time to wake up”.
..........But
can the people on TV see me or am I just paranoid...........Rockwell
…..Someone's Watching Me
^^
Cartoonists
such as Sir
John Tenniel
and
John
Leech
of
the British humour magazine Punch
helped
evolve the modern figure by drawing both Brother Jonathan and Uncle
Sam as lean, whiskered gentlemen wearing top hats and striped pants.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Having trouble deciding on
an accessory to wear to complete your look? A crow on your shoulder
is unique, gender neutral, works with any outfit, and never goes out
of style.
'Nother
Coronavirus of the Week: The whole world
is so paranoid about coronavirus not even my dog will shake hands
with me.
Moonbeam:
Living is a pretty grim joke, but a joke just the same. --L Ron
Hubbard
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: Much of Biden’s
success could be attributed to other moderate candidates dropping out
of the race and giving him their endorsement. Amy Klobuchar laid down
her comb and stapler after throwing them at her staffers one last
time, while Pete Buttigieg gave up his lifelong dream of becoming
America’s first white Obama. All in the name of coalescing behind a
candidate who’s…fine. --Samatha Bee / That was some truth that
Elilzabeth Warren just dropped there. A woman addressing sexism or
ignoring it while running for president is either going to be seen as
a whiner or living on another planet. Which is unfair, especially
since the president is already a whiner who lives on another planet.
--Trevor Noah / You could tell things were going well for Biden
because when he took the stage in LA to celebrate last night, he was
so giddy he apparently confused his wife, who was on his right, with
his sister, who was on his left. One of the first rules of politics:
you never want to confuse your wife and your sister – unless you’re
starring in a reality show on TLC. --Seth Meyers / Biden’s Super
Tuesday was remarkable because he won in states where he didn’t
campaign or have offices. In fact, in Minnesota, Biden’s entire
ground operation was just this flyer: ‘Joe Biden Available to
dog-sit or be president.’ --Stephen Colbert
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week:
Amazingly,
Joe Biden came from nowhere and took back front-runner status from
Bernie Sanders. It was just like that classic fable, "The
Tortoise And The Slightly Older Tortoise." Biden now has to
consolidate the splintered Democratic Party under his banner with the
slogan, hey,
America - get on my lawn.
This is crazy because three weeks ago, Joe Biden was so out of it, we
didn't bother making jokes about him. --Peter Sagal Wait,
Wait Don't Tell Me
3/6/20
Our
peace movement is deeply concerned by the passage and enforcement of
more than sixty-five Israeli laws that either explicitly discriminate
or have in their implementation a significantly more disparate impact
on Palestinian Arab Israeli citizens.
Only
kids count sheep to fall asleep. Grown ups count debts, mistakes, or
heartaches./ Cat's biggest dilemma: should I eat or should I sleep?
..........Don't
look back you've been there.........Manfred Mann …..Runner
^^^
Probably the first U.S. political cartoonist to
crystallize the figure of Uncle Sam was Thomas Nast, beginning in the
early 1870s. By 1900, through the efforts of Nast, Joseph Keppler,
and others, Uncle Sam was firmly entrenched as the symbol for the US.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: Founded in 1636, Harvard
University possesses the title of America’s oldest learning
institution. At its inception, this university’s name was “New
College,” and its purpose was mainly to educate clergy. On March
13, 1639, the school’s name became Harvard University, so named for
the Rev. John Harvard who donated half of his estate and his entire
library to the school upon his death.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: So
the market fell so much it tripped a “circuit breaker” and
suspended trading. That's cute. Shouldn't they really call it a
panic button? Circuit breaker makes me think a union electrician
could shout down Wall Street. --Submitted by ae of mo
Wicked
Coronavirus of the Week: This morning at
the post office while I was in line, two people with masks entered.
Total Panic! Then they said: This is a robbery. And we all calmed
down.
Weird
Word of the Week:
Larrikin –Larrikin
is
a quintessentially Australian term. It appeared in the 1860s for a
street rowdy or urban tough. The writer Archibald Forbes described
the larrikin as “a cross between the Street Arab and the Hoodlum,
with a dash of the Rough thrown in to improve the mixture.”
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-lar1.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Remove
dried glue and gum left from price tags and labels from glass,
metals, and most plastics. Apply Wish-Bone Thousand Island Dressing
and wipe clean. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wishbone.html
Preantepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The
World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract
Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To
be clear, WHO let the dogs out. --Liam Hacket --Submitted by ae of
mo
Preantepenultimate
Coronavirus Joke of the Week: Snow White
is down to 6 dwarfs. Sneezy has been placed in quarantine.
--Submitted by re of ??
Mornings
comes in 3 sizes: 1) Early 2) Too Early 3) Way Too Early / Having
trouble falling asleep. Decorate your bedroom like a church.
….......I
can count the tears but I can't count the cost.........Christie McVie
…..Got A Hold On Me
Antepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
haven't lost all my marbles yet...but there is dcefinitely a small
hole in the bag somewhere. --Submitted by sd of ks
Antepenultimate
Coronavirus Joke of the Week: You might
be a redneck if your mask is made of coffee filters and duct tape.
^^^^
During
World War I, James Montgomery Flagg was appointed New York State
military artist. His famous Uncle Sam image first appeared on the
cover of the July 6, 1916, issue of Leslie’s
Weekly
magazine,
with the headline “What are YOU doing for preparedness?” Flagg
repurposed the painting for the U.S. Army the following year, and it
was reprinted again during WWII. The famous recruitment poster saw a
revival during the 1960s, though sometimes with a hint of that era’s
irony.
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've
done some terrible things for money...like getting up early to go to
work.
Penultimate
Coronavirus of the Week: Now
concerns of a global pandemic are growing, but fear not, the
president knows he has a solemn duty to protect himself, referencing
Trump’s worries about how coronavirus could affect his campaign. I
look forward to that transcript being released: Hello, Ukraine? I
need dirt on a ‘Hunter Coronavirus.’ --Stephen Colbert
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
Geneva Steam Convention 2020 (13-15, Delavan, WI) – The Zozzling
20s Zozzled:A
term used in the 1920's to describe a person who is inebriated
http://genevasteam.com/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
ICAGRF 2020: International Conference on Algebraic Geometry and
Regular Functions: (12-13, Miami) leading
academic scientists, researchers and research scholars to exchange
and share their experiences and research results on all aspects of
Algebraic Geometry and Regular Functions
https://waset.org/algebraic-geometry-and-regular-functions-conference-in-march-2020-in-miami
Puck
the Brave
Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck asking when it's time for spring grooming in
the case of the disheveled Dinmont.
A
baby can sleep through vacuums, car horn, and telephone rings but
wakes up the moment mom closes her eyes. / Jane the wood sculptor
would work long into the night; they used to call her the
slumberjack.
..........We
hide our hearts & then we won't say why.........Dan Fogelberg
…..The Language of Love
Month
of the Week: March is Music In Our
Schools Month –I keep hearing music coming from the printer. I
think the paper is jamming./ How many piano teachers does it take to
change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes four movements.
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
They're going to hold Sunday's debate without a studio audience.
They're just going to pipe in a laugh track. --Submitted by mm of mo
Final
Coronavirus of the Week:
I have a 24 pack of Aldi toilet rolls. Looking to swap for a 4
bedroom house. --#RHOZ
2nd
Final Coronavirus of the Week:Go home.
Read a book. The world is closed.
Today's
Peace of History, March
13, 1942: Julia Flikke of the Nurse
Corps, became the first woman to reach the rank of colonel in the US
army.
A
good sleep not only makes you live longer but also makes your work
day shorter. / Cat: No, no, sleeping 18 hours a day really is a
super power.
..........You
won't know until you begin...........Van Halen …..Jump
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle March 13 2020, ePistle Zzzz. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Laughs, peace, and naps... Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511
Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam:
Imagination is as vital to any advance in science as learning and
precision are essential for starting point. --Percival Lowell
Cost
of War:
As
of 3/12/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,009,120,467,760.
As
of 3/05/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,007,151,555,718.
As
of 3/12/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $954,344,063,697.
As
of 3/05/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $953,005,981,263.
As
of 3/12/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $749,404,121,769.
As
of 3/05/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $747,721,885,110.
As
of 3/12/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $325,955,465,563.
As
of 3/05/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $325,573,176,463.
As
of 3/12/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,038,824,813,661.
As
of 3/05/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,033,453,449,703.
We
call on the international community to assert its influence and push
for a renewed peace process based on respect and protection of human
rights. --Statement by Pax Christi
Famous
Last Words: ...until our bones are too brittle to risk
contact. --George Same Time Next Year
..........Lose
your blues..........Kenny Loggins …..Footloose ~~Today's songs
are number 10 to 1 on the first ever MTV Top 20 Video Countdown
March 13, 1984
I
was almost always late for work until I took to sleeping in my
garden. Now I always wake up on thyme. / Scout the skeleton was
always tired. His mother called him the grim sleeper.
May
Peace fill your sleep
And
Joy occupy your dreams
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
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