Famous
First Words: Afternoon, Mr. Renkin --George Bernard Shaw
Captain Brassbound's Conversion
What
a year this week has been !
The
United Nations has declared this International Day of Happiness.
Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy anything. / The
richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
..........Heaven,
I'm in heaven..........Fred Astaire …..Cheek
to Cheek
When
I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would
say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who
are helping. --Fred McFeely Rogers
It
is a breezy Friday morning. The wind is 21 mph from the north and is
doing a wild dance with the willow tree outside my back door. The
temperature is 31°F so we are back to freezing. Puck and I do not
try to walk in through the wall of wind. Instead, I stand at the
window and feel a longing for warmth and sunshine. A thick,
featureless layer to cloud hides the sky and the new born sunlight.
New greens on trees and lawns wave about frantically showing off
their spring clothes. Now and then a rabbit wanders through the
backyard stopping to nibble or sniff. The wind makes sounds of tree
limbs cracking their joints. It almost whistles through the nearly
dead pine and makes the power lines hum. Puck goes out to do
business but returns without a single bark at anything out there. I
wait for the house to fill with the smell of brewing Moose
Munch...wait for the sweet,,,rich taste of it on my tongue...wait for
the computer to boot up...I am waiting perpetually and forever a
renaissance of wonder.
Hope
your weekend is filled with Happy, ePistliers.
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Prediction: There will be a
minor baby boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033, we shall
witness the rise of THE QUARANTEENS. --Submitted by dr of oh
First
Coronavirus Joke of the Week: If you're feeling sick you have
a responsibility to avoid crowded places and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
--Submitted by mn of ks
Happiness
comes from within. That's why it feels good to fart. / My husband
and I lived happily for twenty years...then we met.
..........Blue
Italian skies above.........Roy Noble …..Isle
of Capri
Trivia
Questions: Happy Birthday to Collegiate Basketball.
^
Whose hand typed and penned the original Basket Ball rules that sold
for $4.3 million in 2010?
^^
How was dribbling handled in the original rules?
^^^
Any idea who was the winning-est coach ever at University of Kansas?
^^^^
How about the losing-est coach ever at University of Kansas?
^^^^^
Know who it was that coughed up 4.3 million for the rules?
Big
Hello:
Mogethin – Yapese (Micronesia)
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Crazy
times we are living in. I used to cough to hide a fart. Now I fart
to hide a cough. --Jack Eline
Second
Coronavirus Joke of the Week: For the
first time ever in my life, I got the NCAA brackets perfect. - men's
and women
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
Ranganathan's
97th Law: Make up fake patrons and have them check out books you want
to save from weeding algorithms
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Second
Second Coronavirus Joke of the Week:
Those of you working from home with dogs and/or children, refer to
them as you co-workers and tell me why they need to be reported to
HR. --Submitted by ksz of ks
Frogs
are happy because they eat whatever bugs them. / Be happy; it drives
people crazy.
..........Like
an old song we have sung.........Glen Gray …..When
I Grow Too Old to Dream
Moonbeam:
The majority is always wrong; the minority is rarely right. --Henrik
Ibsen
Naturally
Occurring Mandala of the Week: Particles SARS-CoV-2 emerging
from an infected cell
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Having kids is like living in the land of Oz. One moment you're
skipping down the yellow brick road singing songs with adorable
munchkins and the next you're attacked by vicious flying monkeys and
getting smothered by a house. --RHOZ
Next
Coronavirus Joke of the Week: I never
thought I'd see the day when Weed was easier to get than hand
sanitizer.
Week
of the Week: American Crossword Puzzle
Days (20-22) –Now and then I work crossword puzzles. The harder
they are the more cross words I use. --J Wagner
Dobbin
always seemed so happy because he lived in a Stable Environment. / I
just want to spend the rest of my life laughing.
..........Make
straight for the shore..........Guy Lombardo …..Red
Sails in the Sunset
^
Dr James Naismith typed the original 13 rules on two
pages and added handwritten notes.
Quote
of the Week: People are dying that have
never died before. --Donald Trump 3/17/20
Almanac:
It is Friday, March 20, 2020. The moon will new new on Tuesday and
is in Aquarius. It is International Day of Happiness
(UN), Alien Abduction Day, Atheist Pride Day, Bed-In for Peace Day,
Great American Meat Out Day, International Astrology Day, French
Language Day, Kiss Your Fiancee Day, National Native HIV/AIDS
Awareness Day, Ostara aka Spring or Vernal Equinox, Proposal Day,
Snowman Burning Day, World Storytelling Day, Won't You Be My Neighbor
Day, and World Day of Theatre for Children and Young People.
Among
those born on this day were Balthasar Bekker (1634), Napoleon
Bonaparte II (1811), Henrik Ibsen (1828), Edgar Buchanan (1902), B F
Skinner (1904), Ozzie Nelson (1906), Michael Redgrave (1908), Ray
Goulding (1922), John Erlichman (1925), Mr. Fred McFeely Rogers
(1928), Hal Linden (Harold Lipshitz, 1931), Jerry Reed (1937), Bobby
Orr (1948), Pamela Sargent (1948), William Hurt (1950), Jimmie
Vaughan (1951), Spike Lee (1957), and Holly Hunter (1958).
On
March twentith the United Dutch East Indian Company was formed
(1602), Walter Raleigh was released from the Tower of London to seek
gold in Guyana (1616), Boston had a great fire (1760), the US Supreme
Court affirmed its right to review state court decisions (1816),
Uncle Tom's Cabin
was published (1852), Michigan authorized workers' cooperatives
(1865), the first recorded intercollegiate basektball game was
played, Yale beat UPA 32 to 10 (1897), Captain
Brassbound's Conversion
premiered (1906), Babe Didrickson pitched a hitless inning for the
Philadelphia A's in an exhibition game (1934), Your
Hit Parade
debuted on radio (1935), Gentleman's
Agreement
won best picture (1948), American in
Paris won
best picture (1952), Tunisia gained independence (1956), the 156-Day
strike against Westinghouse Electric Corp. ended (1956), the first
Pop Art
exhibit opened (LA, 1963), UCLA became the 27th NCAA Men's Basketball
Champions (1965), gold backing was removed from US paper currency
(1968), John Lennon married Yoko Ono (1969), Patty Hearst was
convicted of armed robbery (1976), and the Lakers retired Kareem
Abdul-Jabbar's number - 33 (1990).
Night
Sky, 3/20: Look
for Arcturus, the Spring Star, very low in the east-northeast after
nightfall and higher in the east later in the evening. By modern
measurements Arcturus is visual magnitude –0.05, making it the
fourth-brightest nighttime star.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Longshoreman Max eating an apple
This
Week: Saturday, March 21 –
International Colour Day & Memory Day & Save the Panther Day
Sunday,
March 22 – International Day of the Seal & National
Goof-Off Day & Talk Like William Shanter Day
Night
Sky, 3/22: Mercury is having a poor apparition
low in the glow of dawn. Look for it very low above the
east-southeast horizon about 30 minutes before sunrise, far lower
left of Jupiter, Saturn, and Mars. Binoculars help.
Monday,
March 23 – World Meteorological Day & National Puppy Day
& OK Day
Tuesday,
March 24 – National Agriculture Day
Wednesday,
March 25 – Little Red Wagon Day & Tolkien Reading Day &
Manatee Appreciation Day
Night
Sky, 3/25: Venus (magnitude –4.4, in Aries)
is the big, bright "Evening Star" shining high in the west
during and after twilight.
Thursday,
March 26 – Legal Assistants Day & Live Long And Prosper
Day & Spinach Day
You
can't find happiness at the bottom of a beer stein. Of course, who
is happy when their beer runs out? / The three kings that brought
happiness and peace to earth ..DrinKing, SmoKing, and FucKing
..........Is
quite my most impossible scheme come true.........Eddy Duchin
…..Lovely to
Look at
^^
Dribbling is not mentioned in the original rules.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I say we close down the
national media for 30 days and watch 80% of the world's problems go
away. --Steve Masonheimer -_Submitted by eg of mt
Moonbeam:
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
--B F Skinner
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: This is actually a
good math lesson for all those kids now being home-schooled.
Question: if the coronavirus taskforce has 21 members, but groups
aren’t allowed to contain more than 10 people, how many more months
are we going to have to be eating Chef Boyardee. --Stepehn Colbert /
“Remember to order – it supports people to work at the
restaurants, it supports the people who deliver the food. Tip them
well, please. They’re bringing you your food. They’re basically
the lifeblood of the city. --Trevor Noah / All other late night
cowards are at home sheltering
'Nother
Coronavirus Joke of the Week: Bigfoot: Social Distancing World
Champion --RHOZ
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Also, by the
way, usually in times like this, where - when we are told to stay in
our homes with nobody to talk to but our family, it results in a baby
boom. But this is 2020. It's going to mean that come summer,
everybody is going to be announcing a new podcast. --Peter Sagal
Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 3/14/20
'Nother
Coronavirus Joke of the Week: We are
about 3 weeks away from knowing everyone's true hair color.
Love
isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like
“struggle.” To love someone is to strive to accept that person
exactly the way he or she is, right here and now. --Fred McFeely
Rogers
She
was one fry short of a Happy Meal / Money can't buy happiness, but it
sure makes misery easier to live with.
..........I
can tell by her manana.........Victor Young …..She's
a Latin from Manhattan
^^^
Bill Self leads the pack with .821. Roy is next at .805. Phog Allen
came in 4th at .729 behind Brown 754.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: The Great Boston Fire destroyed 776
buildings across 65 acres with an assessed value of about $13.5
million. In addition the personal property loss was about $60
million.
Wicked
Coronavirus Joke of the Week: Consider
the cast of Gillian's Island … Proof that you can survive without
toilet paper.
Preantepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In
Germany they are preparing for the crisis by stocking up with sausage
and cheese. That's the wurst käse scenario. --Submitted by rk of
ks
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Been homeschooling a 6-year old and 8-year old for one hour and 11
minutes. Teachers deserve to make a billion dollars a year. Or a
week. --Shonda Rhimes
Preantepenultimate
Coronavirus Joke of the Week:
EVERYTHING is canceled You want to know what's not canceled?
Laundry. Laundry is NEVER canceled. --Mark Hyde
Weird
Word of the Week:
Moletronics – abbreviation for molecular electronics – the idea
that individual elements of computer circuits could be formed using
single molecules of substances.
http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-mol1.htm
Antepenultimate
Coronavirus Joke of the Week: What if
they close the grocery stores? We'll have to hunt for our food. I
don't even know where doritos live. --Submitted by ll of ks
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Lubricate pipe joints. Wish-Bone Thousand Island Dressing works as a
lubricant for fitting pipe joints together
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wishbone.html
Wacky
Coronavirus Uses for Common Products:
A
91 percent alcohol would
work
as well. (You can probably ignore the occasional suggestion to use
vodka instead of isopropyl alcohol since many vodkas are only 40
percent alcohol.
https://www.theverge.com/2020/3/2/21161346/hand-sanitizer-diy-how-to-hand-wash-cdc-alcohol-virus-illness
Antepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: March
did NOT come in like a Lion. It came in like a T-Rex with PMS...And
hemorrhoids...Wearing Barbed Wire Undies. --RHOZ
The
secret to happiness in a bad memory. / At Comic Con, all I kept
thinking how happy these people's moms must be to have the house to
themselves for a few hours.
...........Bright
as the stars we're under.........Little Jack Little …..I'm
in the Mood for Love
^^^^
Naismith joined the KU faculty in 1898, coached the
Jayhawk's first basketball team and later became the director of
physical education. He is the only Kansas coach to have a losing
record with 55 wins and 60 loses .(478).
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Marlins to play rest of season without fans in attendance; nothing to
do with coronavirus.
Chiefs
Joke of the Week: San Francisco hasn't
been shut down like this since the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl.
Penultimate
Coronavirus Joke of the Week: Our
cleaning lady just called and told us she will be working from home
and will send us instructions on what to do. --Kenneth Wright
CANCELED
Science Fiction Convention of the Week:
Outlantacon 2020 (19-22, Atlanta, GA) ...OutlantaCon 2020 will still
be happening... https://www.outlantacon.org/
CANCELED
Actual Science Convention of the
Week: The 64th Annual Conference of the
Comparative and Iinternational Eeducation Society (22-26, Miami, FL)
Theme: Education
Beyond the Human. I really like the
theme and my granddaughter, Aleena, Max's mom, was to deliver a paper
on her original research. Perhaps next year.
There
is nothing like the happiness on a kid's face when he first sees the
PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas. /
Despite my last 12,000 tweets, I'm actually really happy.
..........I
feel so absolutely stumped on the floor.........Eddy Duchin …..I
Won't Dance
^^^^^
Lawrence
High and Kansas University graduate David Booth felt so strongly that
the two pages on which James Naismith wrote the original 13 rules of
basketball should find a home on the KU campus he paid $4.3 million
in an auction Friday to guarantee that.
http://www2.kusports.com/news/2010/dec/10/original-naismith-basketball-rules-set-go-auction-/
Month
of the Week: March is National Frozen
Food Month: I went turkey hunting recently with my new
shotgun...scared the hell out of everyone in the frozen foods
section. / I don't
really know how to cook, so I just end up eating frozen food. I
usually get some turkey and store it in the freezer for the next day.
However, one day I heard about the dangers of eating frozen food and
how it badly affects my health, it was at this moment that I realized
that I had to quit cold turkey.
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Actually, it's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region
of France; otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation. --Brian Smith
--Submitted by ar of ks
Final
Coronavirus Joke of the Week:
Eventually, everyone will be quarantined to their houses with no
sports to watch...and in 9 months from now a boom of babies will be
born...and we will call them coronials.
Today's
Peace of History: Today's Peace of History,
March 20, 1852: Harriet Beecher Stowe's influential novel about
slavery, Uncle Tom's Cabin, or Life Among
the Lowly, was first published in book
form by J.P. Jewett of Boston. The text had previously been
serialized in the anti-slavery newspaper, the
National Era.
You
can be sad when a bird craps on your head, instead, be happy that
dogs can't fly. / I just drank a monster energy drink. I'm still
depressed but like, excitedly.
..........Two
sleepy people by dawn's early light.........Fats Waller …..Truckin'
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle March 20 2020, Blissful ePistle. Peace, Laughs, &
Happiness Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence,
KS 66047
Moonbeam:
I love wearing wigs because they're instantly transformational.
--Holly Hunter
Cost
of War:
As
of 3/19/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,011,109,752,605.
As
of 3/12/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,009,120,467,760.
As
of 3/19/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $955,695,896,228.
As
of 3/12/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $954,344,063,697.
As
of 3/19/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $752,130,331,380.
As
of 3/12/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $749,404,121,769.
As
of 3/19/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $326,341,649,640.
As
of 3/12/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $325,955,465,563.
As
of 3/19/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,044,251,145,467.
As
of 3/12/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,038,824,813,661.
The
world needs a sense of worth, and it will achieve it only by its
people feeling that they are worthwhile.. --Fred McFeely Rogers
Famous
Last Words: ...the wrath of Almighty God. --Harriet Beecher
Stowe, Uncle Tom's Cabin
..........When
the Gypsy came to read the tea leaves..........Bob Crosby …..In
a Little Gypsy Tearoom ~~Today's songs are the top 10 of 1935 on
Your Hit Parade (radio)
It
takes ten-tickles to make an octopus happy. / Football referees are
so happy they whistle while they work.
May
Peace go before you
And
Joy follow in your wake
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
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