Famous
First Words: Dell'invito
trascorsa è già l'ora (You were invited for an earlier hour) --La
Traviata
March
is Humorists Are Artists Month. Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example. --Mark Twain / When one is too
old for love, one finds great comfort in good dinners. --Zora Neale
Hurston
..........Think
it over, think it over.........Mary Wilson (Supremes) …..Stop In
The Name Of Love
The
vision of the University for Peace is to be a forward-thinking,
transformational and inspirational educational institution dedicated
to the goals of quality teaching, research, and service for serving
humanity in building a peaceful world.
It
is a chilly (29°F) Friday morning with scant wind and pale blue
skies. It is quiet, no bird calls, no dog barks, not even a car
driving by. The sun rising brightens the world, slowly painting
colors into the sky and onto the still bare treetops...yellows and
greens, grays and browns. There is a smell of damp earth rising from
the almost frozen ground. It whispers of spring even though the
temperature is nippy. But the house smells of Moose Munch and the
coffee pot makes its comforting little noises. I doctor up a cup and
carry it to my desk. Now I can sip fine coffee, write to you and
watch spring approach all at once. Have a morning as great as this,
ePistliers...
Hope
your weekend is a portfolio full of laughs, ePistolas
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Welcome to Edgerton, KS
Our town is so small we don't have a town drunk so we all take turns.
--Submitted by sb of ar
If
pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters. --Nora
Ephron / One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are
not enough. --James Thurber
..........Shining
in the sunlight.........Merle Haggard
…..Silver Wings
Trivia
Questions: Happy Middle Name Pride Day! Can you name these
celebrities by their first and last name?
^
James McCartney and William Pitt
^^
Hannah Fanning and Laura Witherspoon
^^^
John Ferrell and Marvin Simon
^^^^
Robyn Fenty and Elizabeth Fey
^^^^^
Troyal Brooks and George Welles
Big
Hello:
Na nga def – Wolof (Senegal)
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The
fact that my entire body cracks like a glowstick whenever I move yet
refuses to actually glow is very disappointing.
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
48% of librarians can pinpoint exactly which patron interaction lead
to their illness. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
First
Coronavirus Joke of the Week: Wash your hands like you just
peeled a sack of green chile and need to take out your contact
lenses. --Submitted by gd of nm
Love
is not the dying moan of a distant violin – it's the triumphant
twang of a bed spring. --S J Perelman / What I don't like about
office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
--Phyllis Diller
..........I'm
the star upon your tree........Mary Wilson (Supremes) …..Twinkle
Twinkle Little Me
Moonbeam:
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.
--Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Naturally
Occurring Mandala of the Week: Crocus
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Listen to me. Gender is a construct, society is a construct, money
is a construct. But bedtime is very, very real. --Submitted by th
of ks
Second
Cousin Once Removed of Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
The Federal Reserve cut interest rates in response to the
coronavirus, because everyone knows cutting interest rates is the
best way to combat a public health emergency.
Second
Coronavirus Joke of the Week: Wash your
hands like you're washing Jason Mamoa. --Submitted by ksz of ks
Week
of the Week: National Ghostwriters Week
(1-7) –The library at Salem only collects ghost-written books. /
The horror novelty store used to have ghostwriter book signings on
Halloween.
Now
the thing about having a baby – and I can't be the first person to
have noticed this – is that thereafter you have it. --Jean Kerr /
Like Olympic medals and tennis trophies, all they signified was that
the owner had done something of no benefit to anyone more capably
than everyone else. --Joseph Heller
..........Somewhere
in the middle of Montana.........Merle Haggard
…..Big City
^
James Paul McCartney and William Bradley Pitt
Almanac:
It is Friday, March 6, 2020. The moon will be full (worm) on Monday
and is in Leo. It is Day
of the Dude, Oreo Cookie Day, Sofia
Kovalevskaya Math
Day, Employee Appreciation Day, Middle Name Pride Day, National Days
of Unplugging (6-7), and Stoneware Pottery Appreciation Day.
Among
those born on this day were Cyrano de Bergerac (1619), Giuseppi
Paganelli (1710), Karol Kurpinski (1785), Elizabeth Barrett Browning
(1806), Guy Kibbee (1882), Ring Lardner** (1885), Furry Lewis (1893),
Dave Clark (1909), Stewart Granger (1913), Ed McMahon (1923), Sarah
Caldwell (1924), Alan Greenspan (1926), Gabriel Garcia Marquez
(1928), Marion Barry (1936), Merle Haggard (1937), Valentina
Tereshkova-Nikolayev (1937), Kit Bond (1939), Willie Stargell (1940),
Mary Wilson (1944), Rob Reiner (1945), Tom Arnold (1959), Shaquille
O'Neal (1972), and Greg Ostertag (1973).
**Ring
Lardner Quote: He looked as me as if I were a side dish he hadn't
ordered.
On
March sixth the Treaty of Paris
was signed (1323), Magellan sighted Guam (1521), the first black
Mason was initiated (1775), the first US college orchestra was
founded (Harvard, 1808), the first state vaccination legislation was
passed (IL, 1810), Poe was expelled from West Point (1831), the Alamo
fell (1836), La Traviata
premiered (1853), the US Census Bureau was formed (1902), Sunbury, PA
outlawed skirts higher than 4 inches below the knee (1921), the
Friendship Treaty between Turkey and Bulgaria was signed (1929),
Lorca's La Casa
premiered (1945), Ghana became independent (1957), Cassius Clay was
renamed Muhammad Ali (1964), Liz Taylor divorced Eddie Fisher (1964),
Larry Flynt was shot by a sniper (1978), and The University for Peace
as chartered by the United Nations General Assembly was founded in
San Jose, Costa Rica (1982).
Night
Sky, 3/6: It's
not officially spring for another 13 days, but the Spring Star
Arcturus seems eager to thrust itself into view. It rises above the
east-northeast horizon fairly soon after dusk now, depending on your
latitude. Where should you watch for it to rise? Find the Big Dipper
as soon as the stars come out; it's high in the northeast.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Chef Max preparing Scrambled Eggs Floorentine.
So
I'm sick, barely slept last night, headache and so congested I can
hardly breathe. Jack took Zig to the dog park and Max and I settled
in to watch Sesame Street. At one point he got up and wandered away
briefly (not unusual), then comes back and very matter of factly says
"Uh-oh" while holding a jam jar. “ What's an uh-oh, Max?
Can you show me?" --Mom's description
This
Week: Saturday, March 7 –
National Be Heard Day & Sock Monkey Day & World Math Day
Sunday,
March 8 – International Women's Day & Girls Write Now
Day & National Proofreading Day
Night
Sky, 3/8: Regulus shines below the nearly full
Moon after dark. Can you make out the rest of the Sickle of Leo,
almost enclosing it, through the moonlight? Binoculars help.
Monday,
March 9 – Napping Day & Get Over It Day & Panic Day
Tuesday,
March 10 – International Bagpipe Day & Land Line
Telephone Day & Salvation Army Day
Wednesday,
March 11 – Johnny Appleseed Day & National Funeral
Director Day & World Plumbing Day
Night
Sky, 3/11: Mercury is hidden deep in the sunrise while Saturn
is low in early dawn. Binoculars will help as the sky brightens.
Thursday,
March 12 – Girl Scout Birthday & World Kidney Day
Flying
is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. --Douglas
Adams / Brevity is the soul of lingerie --Dorothy Parker
..........Save
me! Save me, Save me........Mary Wilson (Supremes) …..Going Down
For The Third Time
^^
Hannah Dakota Fanning and Laura Jeanne Reese Witherspoon
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The cost to get tested for
#Coronavirus with no insurance being $3,270 is the most USA thing we
could ever USA. The smart thing to do would be to cough on a rich
persona and let them get tested.
Moonbeam:
You're something between a dream and a miracle. --Elizabeth Barrett
Browning
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: Coronavirus - the
worst global pandemic since Baby Shark --Trevor Noah / The
coronavirus is yet another word that Trump couldn’t spell this
week. This is all part of his ‘If you can’t spell it, you can’t
catch it’ campaign. --Jimmy Kimmel / Of course, during any health
scare, it’s important to stay away from dangerous transmission
vectors, in this case, mainly the internet, which is full of fake
cures for coronavirus, such as boiled garlic or drinking bleach. I
can’t believe I’m saying this, but don’t drink bleach. A) it’s
bad for you, and B) it ruins the taste of the Tide Pods. --Stephen
Colbert / Trump’s lack of preparedness is clear in his appointment
of Pence as head of the coronavirus response. What medical experience
does Mike Pence have? At best, he looks like a CPR doll who won’t
let you do mouth-to-mouth on it. --Seth Meyers
Nibling
of 'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
If
I was Snow White, you'd never be able to kill me with an
apple...you'd have to poison an eclair or something... Submitted by
I'm
not right in the head
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week: As an Asian
person...with a cold right now, I have to say I've never felt more
powerful in an airport. Just sneezing while making eye contact with
white women...A whole row to myself. --Joel Kim Booster Wait,
Wait Don't Tell Me 2/29/20
Third
Coronavirus Joke of the Week:
Psst! I have that good Purell $50 a gram text me --Submitted by
#RHOZ
...with
the aim of promoting, among all human beings, the spirit of
understanding, tolerance and peaceful coexistence, to stimulate
cooperation among peoples and to help lessen obstacles and threats to
world peace and progress, in keeping with the noble aspirations
proclaimed in the Charter of the United Nations.
My
age makes all my wrinkles and gray hair make sense. --Tig Notaro /
The problem with winter sports is that –follow me closely here –
they generally take place in winter. --David Barry
..........The
man in black was long and lean.........Merle Haggard …..Missing
Ol' Johnny Cash
^^^
John William Ferrell and Marvin Neil Simon
Worthless
Facts of the Week: Nabisco claims that Oreo cookies are vegan
and kosher. / Every year more than 40 billion Oreo Cookies are
produced in 19 country around the world.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The
only thing flat-earthers fear is sphere itself.
Weird
Word of the Week:
Jobation – rebuke, scold, censure. 1856 May have started as an
academic joke... http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-job2.htm
Fadu
of Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
I can't believe there's a president who has sex with porn stars and
wants a space army and I still hate him. --Submitted by rmar of ks
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Polish wood surfaces. Squeeze Wish-Bone Thousand Island Dressing onto
a soft cloth to clean and polish natural wood.
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wishbone.html
Best
of the Bloomberg Jokes of the Week: Bloomberg came in with
the bold strategy of completely ignoring the first four primaries,
and instead betting his entire camaign on making a big splash on
Super Tuesday. And to make that happen, he's been spending money
harder than a dad at Chuck E Cheese trying to keep custory of his
kids...All that money seems to have bought him is people digging up
skeletons from his past and a debate where Elizabeth Warren
completely burned him to the ground --Trevor Noah / ...half a billion
dollars and bloomberg only has 10 more delegates than me. --Mike
Eagle / Bloomberg, who spent $500m of his own money on his late-entry
campaign, basically spent the cost of an Avatar movie to find out
nobody likes him. --Jimmy Kimmel / Here's my question: Did Michael
Bloomberg end up spending more than the GDP of Amerian Somoa to win
American Samoa? --Alex Seitz-Wald
I
haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep
a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever
figure it out. --David Sedaris / The coffee was so strong it snarled
as it lurched out of the pot. --Betty MacDonald
...........I
must have been insane........Mary Wilson
(Supremes) …..I'm Livin' In Shame
^^^^
Robyn Rihanna Fenty and Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They
call them heated seats because
rear defroster was
already taken. --Submitted by dr of oh
Fourth
Coronavirus Joke of the Week:
Wash your hands like you just touched Donald Trump.
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
Crash Landed 2020 (6-9 - Tulsa, OK) Film and Futurism How
do we confront the most frightening parts of our history and still
manage to take away a sense of hope?
https://www.crash-landed.com/
Actual
Science of the Week:
The
International Astronomical Union (IAU) has cataloged a new “temporary
captured object:” an asteroid that’s been doing a residency as
our very own mini-moon. This second satellite was discovered by
astronomers on February 15 using the Catalina Sky Survey (CSS) in
Arizona. For now it’s simply known by its catalog entry: 2020 CD3.
https://www.sciencealert.com/earth-might-actually-have-a-second-moon
Puck
the Brave
Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck (with Bruno) doing exactly what it looks
like he's doing in the case of the Crapping Crested.
I
am your Nordstrom Rack version of Oprah Today. --Phoebe
Robinson / If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
--Woody Allen
..........When
the rainbow turns the clouds away.........Merle Haggard …..When My
Blue Moon Turns To Gold Again
^^^^^
Troyal Garth Brooks and George Orson Welles
Month
of the Week: March is National Umbrella
Month –Know why you see so many people carrying umbrellas? 'Cause
they can't walk. / Jane taught her parrot to carry an umbrella so she
could call her Polly Unsaturated
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I bet
the person that was looking forward to the next life and came back
reincarnated as me is really disappointed.
Fifth
Coronavirus Joke of the Week: Wash your
hands like you just convinced your husband to kill the rightful king.
Today's
Peace of History, March
6, 1906:
Nora
Blatch
became the first woman elected to the American Society of Civil
Engineers.
The
digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to
reminisce. Instantly. --Demetri Martin / It is a truth universally
acknowledged that as soon as one part of your life starts looking up,
another falls to pieces. --Helen Fielding
..........I
shared the guilt my mama knew........Mary
Wilson (Supremes) …..Love Child
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle, March 6, 2020, ePistle to Wit. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Peace, love, and funny people... Exclusive editor: Christine Smith.
2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam:
With stammering lips and insufficient sound I strive
and struggle to deliver right the music of my nature. ― Elizabeth
Barrett Browning
Cost
of War:
As
of 3/05/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,007,151,555,718.
As
of 2/24/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,004,433,498,071.
As
of 3/05/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $953,005,981,263.
As
of 2/24/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $951,158,736,860.
As
of 3/05/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $747,721,885,110.
As
of 2/24/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $745,399,656,641.
As
of 3/05/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $325,573,176,463.
As
of 2/24/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $325,045,392,218.
As
of 3/05/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,033,453,449,703.
As
of 2/24/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,026,037,996,044.
Peace
is the primary and irrevocable obligation of a nation and the
fundamental objective of the United Nations; it is the reason for its
existence.
--University for Peace Mission
and Vision
Famous
Last Words: seals
of our arms to be affixed thereto. --Treaty
of Paris
..........For
all the honest world to feel.........Merle Haggard …..Pancho And
Lefty
To
say I'm an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a
bridge, is patently unfair. --Tina Fey /I could see that if not
actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled. --P G
Wodehouse
May
Peace be your chocolate shortbread
And
Joy be your creamy filling
prairie
mama
christine
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Laugh:
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