Famous
First Words: Marley was dead, to begin with. Charles Dickens
A Christmas Carol
It
is The National Day of the Horse. Did you hear about the man who was
hospitalized with 6 plastic horses inside him. He's listed as
stable.
..........Who
could ask for anything more.........George Gershwin …..I Got
Rhythm (An American in Paris)
Convinced
that in the nuclear age lasting world peace can be based only on the
attainment of the goal of general and complete disarmament under
effective international control, …
Christmas
Shopping Advise of the Week: Remember: A
wife is for life not just Christmas. Propose Responsibly.
It
is a cold (32°F) Friday
morning. The sky is awash with lumps and clumps of grayish clouds
attempting to hide a sun that is determined to shine. There is
little breeze to help the cold, but little warmth to oppose it. A
gentle frost covers brown grass and car windows; everything looks
and feels like winter. Pucks is asleep in his little bed, content to
dream of running outside. I sit at my computer sipping sweetened,
creamed decaf and munching a blueberry muffin. The only sounds are
keyboard clicks, dog snores, and the furnace humming off and on.
Jeffrey's Christmas tree exudes pine smells into the blend of freshly
brewed coffee and stale incense. Outside a car door slams shut and a
motor roars into life. These sounds are muffled by the walls and
seems distant. But the sudden dog barks speaks a little more of
immediacy and actual living. I get up and find my sweater to pile on
a little more warm and sit down to write to you. A pretty nice
morning all in all.
Hope
your weekend wears the roses, ePistliers.
A
guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads,
“Talking Horse for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks up to the stable to
check it out. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks
the horse. “I’ve led a full life,” the horse answers
miraculously. “I was born in The Andes where I herded for an entire
village. Years later, I joined the mounted police force in New York
and helped keep the city clean. And now, I spend my days giving free
rides to underprivileged kids here in the country.” The guy is
flabbergasted. He asks the horse’s owner, “Why on earth would you
want to get rid of such an incredible animal?” The owner says,
“Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”
..........There
never was such a smile........George Gershwin …..I've Got
Beginner's Luck (An American in Paris)
Trivia
Questions: Happy Birthday to Dick Van Dyke. Do you know or
can you guess which character or what movie/tv show the following
quotes are from?
^
Gotta keep it moving, Larry. I'm pretty spry for an old man.
^^
This girl typed like the wind – she blew every word.
^^^
You'll find a slight squeeze on the hooter an excellent safety
precaution, Miss Scrumptious.
^^^^
There's the whole world at your feet. And who gets to see it but the
birds, the stars, and the chimney sweeps.
^^^^^
Also it gives you 2 days away from the missus, once
again, I'm sorry I introduced you in the first place.
Funniest
Thing I Read of the Week: Just got a
Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly
my dog isn't doing his part of the chores around here. --NRITH
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
49% of patrons looking at old maps are just looking for cool sea
monsters to get for their new tattoo.
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
A
pony goes to the doctor and tells him, “Doc, I think I’m dying. I
have this terrible sore throat.” The
doctor assures him, “It’s okay—you’re just a little horse.”
/ Lee Marvin used to drink a lot and when he did westerns he'd fall
off his horse a lot.; but they still didn't let him star in Wine
Stoned Cowboy.
..........My
dear, it's four-leaf clover time........George Gershwin …..'S
Wonderful (An American in Paris)
Moonbeam:
When a nation starts to hug its own particularities to itself it is
showing fear and it will soon cease having any characteristics worth
saving. --R. A. MacAvoy
Naturally
Occurring Mandala of the Week: Rare Cat-egory 3 purricane
~~I'm not sure this is really naturally occurring, but it is cute as
all get out, and meets the definition of Mandala.
Big
Hello: Āssālam 'alaykum - Urdu
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm
so old that every morning when I wake up I feel like I'm
procrastinating my own death.
Week
of the Week: Computer Science Education
Week (9-15) Prof. Jones was teaching Data Structures when he yelled
at a student, “You know you can't sleep in my class, Mr. Gates.”
Bill answered, “I know, but maybe if you were just a little
quieter, I could.”
A
Desperado rides into town and downs a few drinks at the saloon. When
he steps outside again, he finds his horse has been stolen. The
Desperado swears, steps back into the bar, and fires a round into the
piano. The room goes dead silent. “I’m gonna have one more beer,”
the Desperado bellows to the terrified crowd, “and if my horse
ain’t back where I left him when I’m done, I’ll do here what I
had to do in Houston.” The locals murmur uneasily as the Desperado
sips his drink. Lucky for them all, when he steps outside again his
horse has been returned. As the Desperado saddles up, a local can’t
help but ask, “Sir, what exactly was it you had to do in Houston?”
The Desperado narrows his eyes and hisses at the man, “I had to
walk home.”
..........Not
for a year but ever and a day........George Gershwin …..Love Is
Here To Stay (An American in Paris)
^
Dick Van Dyke as Cecil in Night at the Museum, 2006
Almanac:
It is Friday, December 13, 2019. The moon was full (Cold) on
Wednesday and is in Cancer. It is Asarah B'Tevet,
Pick A Pathologist Pal Day, National Day of The Horse, and the
National Guard's Birthday. Malta celebrates Republic Day. Because
it is the 2nd Friday in December it is also National Salesperson Day
and Official Lost & Found Day.
Among
those born on this day were Mary Todd Lincoln (1818), Curt Jurgens
(1893), Van Heflin (1910), Lillian Roth (1910), Kenneth Patchen
(1911), Dick Van Dyke (1925), Richard Darryl Zannuck (1934), Ted
Nugent (1948), R.A. MacAvoy (1949), Steve
Buscemi (1957), and Jamie Foxx (1967).
On
December thirthteenth Francis Drake set sail on this around the world
voyage (1577), the first music store in the new world opened
(Philadelphia - 1759), A
Christmas Carol
was published (1843), the Wright Brothers flew (1903), the stolen
Mona
Lisa
was recovered (1913), the clip-on tie was designed (1928), Gershwin's
An
American in Paris
premiered (1928), and James Dean made his first career appearance
(Pepsi
commercial,
1950).
Night
Sky, 12/13:
The
famous Geminid meteor shower will sling bright shooting stars this
winter, though a just-past-full moon will make all but the brightest
hard to see.
The
Geminids are considered one of the best meteor showers every year
because the individual meteors are bright, and they come fast and
furious. This year, because of the moonlight, around 20-30 may be
visible per hour.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Max the pilot in his flight jacket with grandma
This
Week: Saturday, December 14 –
Gingerbread Decorating Day & Monkey Day & Yoga Day
Night
Sky, 12/14: The waning gibbous Moon, in Gemini, rises after
dinnertime below Pollux and Castor. To the lower right of the Moon,
Procyon is soon on the rise. Off to the right of Gemini sparkles
Orion.
Sunday,
December 15 – Bill of Rights Day & Cat Herders Day &
National Cupcake Day
Monday,
December 16 – Barbie and Barney Backlash Day & National
Chocolate-Covered Anything Day
Tuesday,
December 17 – Clean Air Day & Wright Brothers Day
Night
Sky, 12/17: Venus shines in the
southwest in the evening twilight while Jupiter moves farther to the
lower right of Venus. Saturn in also in Sagittarius.
Wednesday,
December 18 – International Migrants Day & Answer The
Phone Like Buddy The Elf Day
Thursday,
December 19 – Free Shipping Day & National Re-Gifting
Day
The
owner of the Bar-None Stables used to braid green and red ribbons in
the mane's of all his horses. He called in Ranch Dressing. / I have
never fallen off a horse, however, I have dismounted with style a few
times.
..........With
a new step every day........George Gershwin …..I'll Build A
Stairway To Paradise (An American in Paris)
^^
Dick Van Dyke as Rob Petrie in The Dick Van Dyke Show, 1961-1966
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Private Sign: Do Not Read
Moonbeam:
The one who comes to question himself cares for mankind. --Kenneth
Patchen
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: The headlines
make it sound like Elizabeth Warren was balling out of control but in
reality, she earned $2m in over 30 years, which averages out to a
modest 60k a year. That is the complete opposite of balling – at
60k a year, you aren’t popping champagne in the club; you’re
carefully removing the cork, pouring it into the glass, and then
saving the rest for the time you come back to the club. --Trevor
Noah / GOP counsel Stephen Castor testified that “to impeach a
president that 63 million people voted for over eight lines in a call
transcript is baloney”. Ohhh, it’s, uh, baloney? Really loses
the drama when the word you’re ramping up to is baloney. You never
hear a detective in a mystery novel say ‘I’ve deduced the
suspect’s alibi is baloney!’ --Seth Meyers / “The argument
‘why don’t you just wait’ amounts to this: why don’t you just
let him cheat in one more election? Why not just let him cheat just
one more time?” Schiff said. “Fun fact: ‘why not let him cheat
just one more time’ was what Drumpf had inscribed on Melania’s
wedding gift. --Stephen Colbert / Who would’ve ever imagined that
the guy who bragged about being able to walk in on contestants in his
beauty pageant while they were changing clothes would abuse his
power? It’s shocking, really. If the House passes the articles,
which seems all but certain given the Democratic majority, then
impeachment will move to a trial held in the Senate and presided over
by Chief Justice John Roberts. The Senate majority leader, Mitch
McConnell has not indicated when the trial will be held or how long
the trial will last, but he did announce that the verdict will be not
guilty. --Jimmy Kimmel / Loud Offense or Kavanoise when white men
who have done something awful shout into a camera until it goes away.
--Samatha Bee
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week:
Now,
the Peloton company, you should know, is standing by the ad. They're
defending it, even though - and this is true - their market value
dropped nearly a billion dollars since the ad went viral. That, by
the way...Is the first time an exercise machine bought at Christmas
has caused the loss of anything. --Peter Sagal Wait,
Wait Don't Tell Me
12/7/19
The
Commercial
Recognizing
the urgent need to halt the arms race, particularly in nuclear
weapons, ...
A
horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey!”. The horse
replies, “You read my mind, Mac”. / A visitor to the area asked a
local about the Amish man who had his hand in a horse's mouth. “Oh,”
the local replied, “he's a mechanic.”
..........How
can anyone resist that rhythmical beat........George Gershwin
…..Fidgety Feet (An American in Paris)
^^^
Dick Van Dyke as Caractacus Potts in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, 1968
Worthless
Fact of the Week: 28 months after Vincenzo
Perugia snatched the Mona Lisa from the Louvre, he attempted to sell
the painting to an art dealer in Florence who offered to try to
secure the reward that has been offered. Half an hour later the
police were at his door.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
hate people who can't let go of the past. Debt collectors are the
worst.
Preantepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Look
at the size of your liver compared to your heart. Your're designed
to drink more and care less. --Submitted by eb of ks
Weird
Word of the Week:
Upsidaisy (upsa-daisy, upsy-daisy, and oops-a-daisy) It is said to a
child as encouragement to get up again after falling over, or when
somebody is picking the child up Related to lackadaisical (lackaday
,,, shame to the day). http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-ups1.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Give yourself a foot massage. Roll you foot over a Wilson Tennis
Ball. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wilson.html
Antepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If
Republicans want to force pregnant women to view ultrasounds of their
fetuses before having abortions, Republicans should be forced to push
babies out their dicks before passing abortion laws. --Submitted by
Necessary Dissent
Oceancookie
was known as a Kentucky winner of many races and as a great hostess.
She had Southern Horspitality down pat. / I named my horse flattery
because he'll get you nowhere.
...........Hi-ho,
alas, and also lack-a-day........George Gershwin …..But Not For Me
(An American in Paris)
^^^^
Dick Van Dyke as Bert in Mary Poppins, 1964
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
need to stop complaining about my friends being awful photographers
when the real problem in my face. --Shafeeq
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
Sci-Fi Sea Cruise (13-22, boards in Miami, FL) –Miami, Labadee,
Aruba, Conaiare, Curacao...
https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Organization/Sci-Fi-Sea-Cruise-345802404305/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
Innovations in Encapsulation 2019 (13, London) - exploring
innovations within the general field of encapsulated materials. Areas
to be considered will include novel routes to their manufacture, the
properties that such products exhibit, whether the shell protects the
contents or provides controlled release or indeed the
characterization of such materials.
http://www.rsc.org/events/detail/41803/innovations-in-encapsulation-2019
Puck
the Brave Episode of the Week:
Santa, oops, Puck has a brand new bag, oops, bed.
A
tenderfoot went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur.
“Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir,” the saddler said. “No,
just the one”, he replied, “If I can get one side to go, the
other is bound to come with it.”
..........The
way your smile just beams........George Gershwin …..They Can't
Take That Away From Me (An American in Paris)
^^^^^Dick
Van Dyke as Dr. Townshend in Scrubbs,
2003
Month
of the Week: December is National Write
A Business Plan Month --When
the office photo-copies began to look faint, the office manager
called in a local repair service. The friendly technician after
inspecting the equipment, informed the manager that the machine was
in need of a good cleaning. The tech suggested that someone might try
reading the operator’s manual and perform the job themselves, since
it would cost $100.00, if he did the work. Pleasantly surprised by
his candor, the office manager asks, “Does your boss know you are
discouraging business?” “Actually, my boss demands we explain
this to all our customers. After people
try first to fix things themselves, we end-up making much more money
on repairs”
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
never understood how the little drummer boy's parents could just send
him outside alone at night to play his drum until my daughter brought
a recorder home from school. --Simon Holland
Grammar
Joke of the Week: The teacher asked Jenny to
use the word “hyphenated” in a sentence. Jenny said, “There
used to be a space between these two words, but there isn’t anymore
because a hyphen ate it.”
Today's
Peace of History,
December 13, 1917: Denmark, which was
not involved in World War I, recognized the right of conscientious
objection (CO) to military service. Norway had done so in 1900,
Sweden in 1920. The Netherlands went so far as to write it into their
constitution in 1922, and Finland enacted it in 1931.
Don't
worry, these horse jokes won't go on furlong. / Clouds and jockeys –
they're all alike – they hold the reins.
..........Life
is one long jubilee........George Gershwin …..Who Cares (An
American in Paris)
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle December 13, 2019. ePistle eQuus. Peace, laughs, and
horse sense. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS
66047
Moonbeam:
But two things I have ever respected are warmth and the ability to
sit still. --R. A. MacAvoy
Cost
of War:
As
of 12/12/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,983,531,095,259.
As
of 12/5/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,981,478,932,284.
As
of 12/12/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $936,953,248,123.
As
of 12/5/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $935,558,407,194.
As
of 12/12/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $727,541,373,156.
As
of 12/5/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $725,787,645,796.
As
of 12/12/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $320,986,660,114.
As
of 12/5/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $320,588,087,659.
As
of 12/12/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,969,013,130,626.
As
of 12/5/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,963,413,692,399.
Calls
upon all nuclear-weapon States to agree to a freeze on nuclear
weapons, which would, inter alia, provide for a simultaneous total
stoppage of any further production of nuclear weapons and a complete
cut-off in the production o nuclear weapons and a complete cut-off in
the production of fissionable material for weapons purposes:
~~Today's quotes are from UN Resolution
119-17: A Freeze on Nuclear Weapons
..........I
know we both won't say a word........George Gershwin …..The Man I
Love (An American in Paris)
My
race horse is such a sure bet I call her Strawberry Inc. / Did
you hear about the Wookie who couldn't tell the difference between
his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help
though, he discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller
than the white one! ~~This was one of my dad's favorite jokes.
Famous
Last Words: God bless us. Every One! --A Christmas Carol
May
Peace be your jockey
And
Joy be your purse
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
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