Friday, November 29, 2019

eBony ePistle


Famous First Words: Hello --Herb Shriner Herb Shriner Show
Have a safe and sane Black Friday...because only in the US do people trample others for low prices on shit they don't need the day after being thankful for what they already have. / You know Black Friday is a scam; they're over charging you the other 364 days.
..........Don't stand between the reservation and the corporate bank.........Buffy Sainte Marie …..Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee
Governments exist to protect the rights of minorities. The loved and the rich need no protection: they have many friends and few enemies. --Wendell Phillips
It is a very gray Friday morning. The temperature is hovering above freezing (38°F) so that last night's rain is still hanging about – literally off of fences and metaphorically in puddles without an icy icing. The sky is absolutely gray without texture or variation. There is not much wind so walking isn't a chore but the dampness seems down to seep into the soul. Puck barks at squirrels and when they skitter away, he barks at nothing. Our local murder of crows stops by to wish us a black Friday. Puck and I intend to stay home a finish digesting all the wonderful food we ate yesterday, but Jeffrey has ventured out into the crowds. We return home to warmth and the aroma of brewing coffee and incense which gives the house a festive atmosphere. And, finally, with a sweet, tart cup of coffee to my lips, I get to sit down and write to you. What a great morning.
Hope your weekend is filled with love not stuff, ePistliers, for who I am creatively thankful.
You can get up at 3:30 am and wait in line for 4 hours to shop Black Friday, but you can't make it to church because that's too early? / If you are going shopping today, be a decent human being and turn your phone horizontal before recording any fights.
..........And he knows he shouldn't kill and he knows he always will.........Buffy Sainte Marie …..Universal Soldier
Trivia Questions: Happy Flossing Day !!
^ How many times a day should you floss?
^^ Why is it important to floss?
^^^ Which is better water flosser or dental thread?
^^^^ Care to guess how much floss is used each year in the US?
^^^^^ Know what dental floss is generally made of?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock...That's Humerus --Submitted by pm of ks
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Instead of a flask at their desk, 34% of librarians hide a box of wine in an unused magazine box. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Maurice skipped Black Friday because his hatred of mankind outweighs his love of stuff. / If you need $30 off your new TV so badly, you probably shouldn't be buying it in the first place.
..........the treaty's been broken by Kinzua Dam.........Buffy Sainte Marie …..Now That The Buffalo's Gone
Moonbeam: She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain. --Louisa May Alcott
Naturally Occurring Mandala of the Week: Pinecone

Big Hello: Bitaю (Vitayu) – Ukrainian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm ~~I'd like to pretend that I'm staying current (we pronounce it Keeve, now) but I'm going alphabetically and Ukraine was next.
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Not Up for Energy Drinks? Try Apathy Drinks- for the weary & unmotivated: Red Sloth / Meh. Zero Energy / 5 Hour Nap
Week of the Week: World Karaoke Championship Weekend (27-29) --Oxygen and iron are on a date at a karaoke bar and everyone is telling them to go sing. So they say "we're a little rusty but we'll give it a shot"
Double Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Ah, did you adopt your dog? No, she's my biological dog.
You know, you save even more money if you don't buy anything. / Sure shopping online is convenient, but nothing beats the thrill of running through store aisles snatching door-busters out of other people's hands
..........You force us to send our toddlers away.........Buffy Sainte Marie …..My Country 'Tis Of Thy People You're Dying
^ Flossing once a day is sufficient.
Almanac: It is Friday, November 29, 2019. The moon was new last Tuesday and is in Capricorn. It is Pins and Needles Day, Electronic Greetings Day, Flossing Day, International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People, Maze Day, and National Day of Listening. In Albania it is Liberation Day (1944) and Liberia celebrates President Tubman's Birthday. Because it is the Friday after Thanksgiving, it is also Black Friday, Buy Nothing Day, National Native American Heritage Day, Sinkie Day, and You're Welcomegiving Day.
Among the people born on this day were Christian Doppler (1803), Wendell Phillips (1811), Louisa May Alcott (1832), Ambrose Fleming (1849), C.S. Lewis (1898), Merle Travis (1907), Herb Shriner (1918), Diane Ladd (1932), and John Mayall (1933).
On November twenty-nineth the monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia (1945) and Kilauea erupted (1975).
Night Sky, 11/29: The Moon pairs with Saturn. Vega still shines brightly well up in the west-northwest after dark. The brightest star above it is Deneb, the head of the big Northern Cross, which is made of the brightest stars of Cygnus. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max the stuntman preparing to jump from a nearly moving cow.

This Week: Saturday, November 30 – National Mason Jar Day & Small Business Saturday & Cities for Life Day
Sunday, December 1 – Basketball Day & Clark Kent's Birthday & Rosa Parks Day
Night Sky, 12/1: As the stars come out, the Cassiopeia W stands on end high in the northeast. Watch Cas turn around to become a flattened M, even higher in the north, by late evening.
Monday, December 2 – International Day for the Abolition of Slavery & National Mutt Day
Tuesday, December 3 – Giving Tuesday & International Day of Persons With Disabilities
Wednesday, December 4 – National Cookie Day & National Dice Day & National Sock Day
Thursday, December 5 – Bathtub Party Day & World Soil Day & Sachertorte Day
I saw a woman knock down her own husband in order to buy his Christmas gift 25% off. / I'm planning to shop online and what the Black Friday death toll climb on the news.
..........Who's got a head o' hair to match up with the raven.........Buffy Sainte Marie …..Native North American Child
^^ Flossing removes plaque and bacteria from between your teeth and it also improves your breath.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I tried donating blood today...never again! Too many stupid questions. Who's blood is it? Where did you get it from? Why is it in a bucket.
Moonbeam: Stay is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary. --Louisa May Alcott
Late Night Snacks of the Week: The next turkey to get pardoned will probably be Rudy Giuliani. Nunes, I don't think the word hypocrisy even covers it any more. This is the hypocalypse. --Jimmy Kimmel / Congress’s impeachment inquiry has taken the week off; I assume to spend more time dividing your family. The top Republican investigating whether Trump tried to get dirt on Biden tried to get dirt on Biden. It reminds me of the children’s classic Nancy Drew and the Case of the Man Murdered by Nancy Drew. --Stephen Colbert / The three stunned (Fox phone call rant) hosts were like three out-of-town tournists sitting on the subway watching a roach smoking a cigarette. --Seth Meyers
Still another Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: White House turkey declines pardon, agrees to testify before congress, Trump calls him a “never trumper”. --Submitted by rk of ks
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: On Wednesday, we met the man at the center of the Ukraine scandal, Ambassador Gordon Sondland. Almost immediately he threw the entire Trump administration under the bus. Although this being the Trump administration, they insisted on being thrown under a private jet. The amazing thing was as he implicated the president in high crimes along with all of his senior aides and cabinet members, he seemed to be having so much fun. He was laughing and smiling just like they did back in Watergate, you know? There's a cancer on the presidency, and it's fabulous. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me 11/23/19
Physical bravery is an animal instinct; moral bravery is much higher and truer courage. --Wendell Phillips
TV has been advertising Pre Black Friday deals for a week now. I'm making book: in what year will Black Friday becomes Black November. / How many days before Black Friday can homeless folks pitch a tent outside a box store and not get arrested?
..........Magic never weakened, magic never hid.........Buffy Sainte Marie …..God Is Alive, Magic Is Afoot
^^^ Traditional floss is more effective at removing plaque from between the teeth than water flossers.
Worthless Fact of the Week: Peter II (currently of Denver, CO) was the last King of Yugoslavia, reigning from 1934-1945. He was a member of the Karađorđević dynasty.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Cheese is just a loaf of milk. --Submitted by ma of va
Even Wickeder Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Steve Winwood began his solo career in 1977. He would've started sooner, but he was stuck in Traffic.
Preantipenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We live in an oligopolic kleptoplutocracy and nobody seems to care. ... We care, it's just hard to spell. --Submitted by ae of mo
Weird Word of the Week: Spissitude – density, thickness, or compactness of a material. ...spissitude had been added to others, such as thermometer and truly rural, as words the New York police used to test the sobriety of midnight revelers. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-spi2.htm
Antipenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Fun Fact: The Topaz Hmmingbird is the smallest bird in the world. Even though it has the smallest bird brain in existence, it knows that Russia, not Ukraine, attacked the US election system in 2016. --Submitted by rk of ks
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent a chrome trailer hitch from getting scratched. Slit a Wilson Tennis Ball and put it over the trailer hitch as a protective cover.
Whoever said that money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. --Bo Derek / Who profits the most from Black Friday? The people who stay home.
...........And I'm just another little girl who loves him so.........Buffy Sainte Marie …..He's An Indian Cowboy In The Rodeo
^^^^ If all the dental floss sold in the USA in a single year were placed end to end, it would stretch 3 million miles.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm so smart I was using college ruled paper while I was still in high school.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Chicago Tardis (29-1, Lombard, IL) 20th Anniversary edition brings together fans every Thanksgiving weekend to celebrate the world’s longest-running science fiction television show. https://www.chicagotardis.com/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: Veterinary Microbiology & Microbial Disease (28-29, Jerusalem) ..aims to bring together leading academic scientists, researchers and research scholars … https://waset.org/agronomic-sciences-and-veterinary-medicine-conference-in-november-2019-in-jerusalem
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck sniffing out a clue in the case of the Traumatized Turkey.

You can see better tackling and blocking at Black Friday than at the Thanksgiving football games. / I actually enjoy Black Friday. It's the one day I know exactly where all the nut jobs are and how to avoid them.
..........Hills are steep and the roads are muddy.........Buffy Sainte Marie …..Cripple Creek
^^^^^ Dental floss is commonly made out of one of two polymers (synthetic compounds), either nylon or Teflon.
Month of the Week: December is Bingo Birth Month. Is that your bra size or your bingo number? / Vampires play Bingo with stake money. / What has a whole bunch of balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Evangelicals claiming that Trump is sent by God and doing God's will is the single strongest case of atheism that I have heard in my entire life. --Submitted by db of ks
Grammar Joke of the Week: The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beaten them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary. --Terry Pratchett
Today's Peace of History, November 29, 1967: U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara announced his resignation during the Vietnam War.
Black Friday should be for bills too...I want 30% off if I pay my electricity bill on Black Friday. / We should change the name to The Hunger Games...where people kill each other to get $20 off a crock pot.
..........You Saddams and you Bushes; you Bin Ladens and snakes.........Buffy Sainte Marie …..The War Racket
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle November 29, 2019, eBony ePistle. Peace, Laughs, and Extreme Capitalism Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: Money is the root of all evil, and yet it is such a useful root that we cannot get on without it any more than we can without potatoes. --Louisa May Alcott
Cost of War:
As of 11/28/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,979,588,145,326.
As of 11/21/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,977,534,520,475.
As of 11/28/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $934,273,430,895.
As of 11/21/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $932,877,918,513.
As of 11/28/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $724,172,195,558.
As of 11/21/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $722,418,030,527.
As of 11/28/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $320,220,931,867.
As of 11/21/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $319,822,294,853.
As of 11/28/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,958,255,350,079.
As of 11/21/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,952,653,553,904.
Aristocracy is always cruel. --Wendell Phillips
..........She's a history turner, she's a sweetgrass burner.........Buffy Sainte Marie …..Starwalker ~~Today's songs are in honor of National Native American Heritage Day
Here's hoping Black Friday doesn't turn into Black and Blue Saturday. / Walmart plans to use its Black Friday security camera footage as the basis for a new hit reality show.
Famous Last Words: We have no right to happiness. --C. S. Lewis the last piece he wrote for publication before his death.
May Peace provide you sustenance
And Joy furnish your shelter
prairie mama
christine


Last Laugh:


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