Friday, November 8, 2019

aPundant ePistle


Famous First Words: We the people of Montana grateful to God... Constitution of the State of Montana
How lucky can you be, dear ePistlier. Once again it's Abet and Aid Punsters Day ! A pun is it's own reword. Sorry, I realize that was punishingly bad, but this is Punderful World of Oz land.
..........sun lights up the daytime, moon lights up the night.........Patti Page …..Fever
The way of life that destroyed Hiroshima and Nagasaki...is international and dominates every nation of the world, but we live in the United States, so our struggle is here. --Dave Dellinger
It is a crisp (22°F) Friday morning. The very pale blue sky has no real clouds but thin, jet trails streak and bend twist and disperse in the upper level winds. Down here there is very little wind to blow the coldness in around the coat sleeves. Down here it is foggy and frosty. When Puck barks – as he always does – tiny puffs of breath sprout from his mouth as if they were text bubbles in a cartoon. He looks like a tiny dragon … puff, puff, puff. Two ducks fly overhead loudly discussing something or other. They are headed east behind them and much higher is a vee of a dozen or so ducks gliding in the same east north east direction. The four small dogs who moved into the corner house have just been let out for morning hygiene. We can hear them barking all the way down at the end of the cul-de-sac. But we arrived at home again without passing them. The house smells of dish soap and warmth. I unwrap myself from coats and scarves and bags carrying dog-bags, gloves, and hats. Ah, winter rieuals. Now I sit with a chocolate doughnut and a cup of artificially sweetened decaf (story of my life) writing to you. What a great morning.
Hope all your weekend puns are intended, ePistliers.
Did you know it takes ten tickles to make an octopus laugh? Aren't whiteboards remarkable? They may make you groan but at least they're punctual.
..........This could be just a powerful thing.........Bonnie Raitt …..Thing Called Love
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday Montana
^ What is the capital of Montana?
^^ Montana is home to the world's shortest river, know it's name?
^^^ Any idea which number state Montana was/is?
^^^^ Where does the name Montana come from?
^^^^^ Know what the state animal of Montana is?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Stop complaining about your life. There are people literally living in Ohio. --Submitted by dr of oh
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 25% of librarians plan to haunt the library after their death. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Alternative facts are aversion of the truth. The Roman senate only gathered once a week because that was enough forum. Trump went off about some reporter making fun of his unusual neck wear; what a tie rant.
..........Your best girlfriend, she might be a highbrow, she changes it at least 3 times a day.........Bonnie Raitt …..Women Be Wise
Moonbeam: Ode to Newton: Come celebrate with me in song the name of Newton, to the Muses dear, for he unlocked the hidden treasures of truth ... Nearer the gods no mortal may approach. --Edmund Halley
Naturally Occurring Mandala of the Week: Pumpkin

Big Hello: Monile – Tumbuka (Malawi & Zambia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I hate when Walmart doesn't have what I need & I have to go home, change out of my pajamas & take a shower so I can go to Target. --Submitted by RHOZ
Week of the Week: National Split Peace Soup Week (8-14) –The difference between roast beef and pea soup is that anyone can roast beef.
I know it's corny, but I think autumn is amaizing. Hello gourdeous. Don't be afraid of falling.
..........Find a man to take me home instead of always for a ride.........Bonnie Raitt …..Love Me Like A Man
^ The selection of Helena as the capital of Montana had an inauspicious beginning. A political war between two “Copper Kings” Marcus Daly and William Clark, resulted in massive bribery and vote-buying scandals only a “Copper King” could afford. With Daly backing Anaconda and Clark supporting Helena, it is estimated that in 1894 each man spent almost $3 million to determine which city would become Montana’s new capital.
Almanac: It is Friday, November 8, 2019. The moon will be full (Beaver) next Tuesday and is in Aries. It is Dunce Day, Aid and Abet Punsters Day, Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day, Domino Day, National Parents As Teachers Day, and X-ray Day. In Montana it is Admission Day (1889). Worldwide it is World Community Day (since 1945 set aside to pray for peace).
Among those born on this day were Edmund Halley (1656), Dorothy Day (1897), Margaret Mitchell (1900), June Havoc (1916), Esther Rolle (1922), Patti Page (1927), Morley Safter (1931), Bonnie Raitt (1949), and Rickie Lee Jones (1954).
On November eighth Bourbon Whiskey was first distilled from corn (1789), the Louvre opened (1793), Montana was admitted to the union (41st, 1889), Cleveland was elected president (1892), Sister Carrie was published (1900), women voted for the first time in Washington state (1910), FDR was elected president for the first time (1932), the first black female legislator was elected (PA, 1938), JFK elected (1960), and Days of Our Lives premiered (1965).
Night Sky, 11/8: Now the gibbous Moon stands on the line from the eastern side of the Great Square of Pegasus down to Diphda. By about 9 pm wintry Orion is clearing the eastern horizon (depending on how far east or west you live in your time zone). High above Orion shines orange Aldebaran. Above Aldebaran is the little Pleiades cluster, the size of your fingertip at arm's length. Far left of Aldebaran and the Pleiades shines bright Capella. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Sir Max forger of the chain mail binky

This Week: Saturday, November 9 – Carl Sagan Day & World Freedom Day
Sunday, November 10 – Area Code Day & Marine Corps Day & World Science Day for Peace and Development
Monday, November 11 – Origami Day & Armistice Day
Night Sky, 11/11: The Northern Taurids meteor shower peaks. The Taurids are not known for their high numbers, rather they are known more for the fireballs they produce AND Mercury will cross the face of the Sun during morning in North America, midday in South America, and afternoon for Europe and Africa. (Details)
Tuesday, November 12 – Fancy Rat and Mouse Day & National Young Readers Day
Wednesday, November 13 – World Kindness Day
Thursday, November 14 – Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day & National American Teddy Bear Day
I was angling for an A in geometry; I was always a class act. I've got so much school spirit, it's spooky. Hope nothing lessons my enthusiasm.
..........And I can almost see through the dark there's light.........Bonnie Raitt …..Feels Like Home
^^ The Roe River is recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s shortest river. The Roe flows 200 feet between Giant Springs and the Missouri River near Great Falls.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Governing by tantrum has resulted in Donald Trump holding his breath until Kentucky turned blue. --Submitted by gr of oh
Moonbeam: Don't call me a saint. I don't want to be dismissed so easily. --Dorothy Day
Late Night Snacks of the Week: Donald Trump has officially changed his primary residence from Manhattan to Palm Beach, Florida. Good riddance, Don, Don’t let the door hit ya where the porn star spanked ya. --Stephen Colbert / But the one issue he cares about more than anything else is his big, beautiful border wall. The “build the wall” chants have been ubiquitous at Trump rallies since the beginning of his campaign, and in many ways, the wall is the son Trump always wanted – taller, stronger and somehow, smarter. --Trevor Noah / ...whenever you lose, pass a bunch of laws making it harder to vote. That’s why Republicans love voter ID and gerrymandering so much. If Republicans lose the next election, they’ll probably introduce a bill mandating that all voters must have a valid driver’s license in at least three different states obtained at least six business years prior to the election and the only DMV in the country is located in an abandoned hotel on a cliff in Yosemite and it’s open from 1-4 am on alternate Wednesdays in months beginning with the letter Q. --Seth Meyers
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Honestly, if you're a Democrat and you can't derive pleasure from impeaching this president, you need a fistful of Zoloft. Meanwhile, the Republicans, when they got their turns to speak, kept shouting about the fact that they were being bullied by the majority. Finally, Trump supporters found a minority whose rights they care about. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 11/2/19
The prejudices of patriotism, the pressures of our friends and fear of unpopularity and death should not hold us back any longer. --Dave Dellinger
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'll be alloys. Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble. Sorry, I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
..........If dreams were thunder and lightning was desire.........Bonnie Raitt …..Angel From Montgomery
^^^ Montana was the 41st state in the USA; it became a state on November 8,1889.
Worthless Fact of the Week: When did YOU get the vote? *White land owners: 1776 *Males who did not own property: 1792, *Naturalized male citizens: 1868, *Non-white men: 1870 *Women in Wyoming: 1869 * Women in Washington state: 1910 *All women: 1920 *Native Americans: 1924 *Poor people (poll tax prohibited): 1964 *18 year olds: 1971
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Remember when there used to be all these articles about how people in Europe live longer than Americans because they drink red wine and eat more olive oil or bullshit like that? Turns out it was universal healthcare the whole time. --Submitted by rv of ks
Weird Word of the Week: Palimpsest – rubbed smooth again: When writing materials like parchment were scarce and expensive, you didn’t throw them out because they had been used. Instead, you washed them with a dilute alkaline solution to weaken the hold of the ink on the paper, rubbed them down with pumice stone to clean them, and used them again (medieval monkish writing rooms sometimes had people who specialized in doing this). The result was a palimpsest. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-pal1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Fluff your down jacket in the dryer and reduce static cling. Throw in a handful of Wilson Tennis Balls to fluff the down while the jacket is tumbling in the dryer. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wilson.html
My garden had a lot of pests this summer but I beat the plants off of them. The roses are doing great, but I do flower them with praise every chance I get. Herb your enthusiasm before you run out of grass.
...........Oh pardon me I thought I knew you.........Bonnie Raitt …..Have A Heart
^^^^ The name Montana has a Spanish origin. The earliest Spanish settlers named the state “montaƱa” and it means mountain in Spanish. Montana is one of the nine mountainous states located in the western United States.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Breaking News! Mexico will pay for the impeachment.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: GalaxyCon (8-10, Minneapolis) A Festival of Fandom! https://minneapolis.galaxycon.com/ I look up at least one science fiction convention every week – sometimes I look up 2 or 3 to find the best one to list here. GalaxyCon is the only one that send me at least 2 facebook invitations per day for their con. I don't know if they are really good, or just desperate.
Actual Science Convention of the Week: CIMPA Research School “Algebraic and Geometrical Methods in String Theory” (10/28-11/8, Buenos Aries) https://www.cimpa.info/en/node/6229
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck break dancing with the stars in the case of the Aspin Astronaut.

Cow wear those bell because their horns don't toot. My dog gave birth out near the road and the sheriff gave her a ticket for littering. I went to Gage Park yesterday but they only had one exhibit. It was a shitzu.
..........She cried right through As The World Turns.........Bonnie Raitt …..Papa Come Quick
^^^^^ Montana has a large population of grizzly bears. This is probably why the grizzly bear is the state animal of Montana. An estimated 1800 grizzly bears are thought to be alive today.
Month of the Week: November is Pomegranate Month – Perry Pomegranate ran a seedy bar called the Bottomless Pit; he was an okay bar tender but he didn't take anything for granted.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why is it called “transplant” instead of re-organ-izing? --50nog
Grammar Joke of the Week: I was an English major, in case there's ever an emergency involving a comma.
Today's Peace of History, November 8, 1892: Thirty thousand black and white, factory and dock workers staged a general strike in New Orleans, demanding union recognition, closed shops (where all co-workers join the union), and hour and wage gains. They were joined by non-industrial laborers, such as musicians, clothing workers, clerks, utility workers, streetcar drivers, and printers.
The Ent Wives' archives have been found in a laboratree in Austria. It contains the ancestree of all the ents and is beleafed to be the oldest opine ever written down.
..........Over and over like fire and ice.........Bonnie Raitt …..One Part Be My Lover
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle November 8, 2019. Peace, Laughs, and Punishment Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: With enough courage, you can do without a reputation. --Margaret Mitchell
Cost of War:
As of 11/7/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,973,583,128,200.
As of 10/31/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,971,601,576,006.
As of 11/7/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $930,192,574,058.
As of 10/31/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $928,845,791,579.
As of 11/7/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $719,042,367,247.
As of 10/31/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $717,349,066,196.
As of 11/7/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $319,055,061,474.
As of 10/31/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $318,670,260,111.
As of 11/7/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,941,874,580,286.
As of 10/31/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,936,467,425,495.
The American system has been destroying human life in peace and in war, at home and abroad for decades. Now it has produced the growing infamy of atom bombing. Besides these brutal facts, the tidbits of democracy mean nothing. --Dave Dellinger
..........Oh, Christ, I think he's even combed his hair.........Rickie Lee Jones …..Chuck E's in Love
I was the best root vegetables of my generation harvested by evil machinery plucked from the soil, hysterical, naked....Beet Poetry
Famous Last Words: ...as he stretched himself to rest. --Theodore Dreiser Sister Carrie
May your Peaces be of pie
And your Joys be to the world
prairie mama
christine


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