Friday, September 6, 2019

Feline ePistle


Famous First Words: Empowering the World to Defeat Hunger...Global FoodBanking Networking
September is Happy Cat Month! Purranoia – the fear that the cat is is up something. / The wisdom of Mehitable the Cat by Don Marquis: When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him, Whose?
..........I look at the world and I notice it's turning.........While My Guitar Gently Weeps …..The Beatles with Eric Clapton
Friendship needs no words – it is solitude delivered from the anguish of loneliness. --Dag Hammarskjold
It is a lovely (73°F) Friday morning. The sky shows no trace of cloud or jet trail. Even the birds are absent; yet their song joins the cicadas and a lone cricket in singing matins. Puck funks it up by barking at children coming out of houses and making their way to school. Everything is so green for early September; there are even lawns that need to be mowed and a hint of cut grass catches the light breeze now and then. Puck stops before we reach the cul-de-sac and suggests we turn back home. He may feel he should be herding the children off the block. So I return to my coffee and computer. Puck is sleeping under my desk and I am sipping decaf, smiling, and writing to you. As good as it gets
Hope you have a purrfect weekend, ePistliers.
My cat is so old I took her with me to an antique auction and 6 people bid on her. / The wisdom of Mehitable the Cat by Don Marquis: Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
..........looking for release from limitation.........Sour Milk Sea …..Jackie Lomax with Eric Clapton and George Harrison
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Elsie, Queen of Evaporated Milk
^ What constitutes “evaporated” milk anyway?
^^ Any clue, how much whole milk it takes to produce a pound of evaporated milk? ~~Because I always measure milk by the pound, myself.
^^^ Know who first evaporated milk for commercial use?
^^^^ So, what then is “condensed” milk?
^^^^^ How or when is evaporated milk preferred to regular milk?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Someone has coined a new word for Trump's Twitter rampages...Donorrhea. --Seniors for a Democratic Society
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 90% of librarians have a favorite book they'll tell you and a real favorite book they won't tell you. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
I found a birthday gift for my Siamese in the catalog. / The wisdom of Mehitable the Cat by Don Marquis: Publishing a book of poetry is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
..........Don't you notice how the wheel goes 'round.........Badge …..Cream with George Harrison
Moonbeam: He may be president, but he still comes home and swipes my socks. –Joseph P Kennedy
Naturally occurring Mandala of the Week: Campestris

Big Hello: selam – Tigrinya (east Africa) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: On the beach and in the sea, animals do not leave trash; humans do. Please, behave like animals. --Sign on the beach --Submitted by eg of mt
Week of the Week: National Waffle Week (1-7) – Waffles: Pancakes with Abs / Pancakes with Syrup Traps
Felix was a cathletic. One day he jumped the fence in a mighty swish and was gone. Furtunately he returned the next day with purrty furend. / The wisdom of Mehitable the Cat by Don Marquis: A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
..........learn how to help each one another..........That's The Way God Planned It …..Billy Preston with Eric Clapton and George Harrison
^ An unsweetened, canned milk, evaporated milk is fresh homogenized milk with 60% of its water removed by evaporation. It contains 7.9% milk fat.
Almanac: It is Friday, September 6, 2019. The moon is first quarter this evening and is in Sagittarius. It is Fight Procrastination Day and National Lazy Mom Day. Because it is the first Friday in September it is also Bring Your Manners To Work Day, National Food Bank Day, and Stand Up to Cancer Day. In Swaziland it is Somhlolo Day aka Independence Day (1968).
Among those born on this day were Heinrich M. Muhlenbert (1711), Marquis de Lafayette (1757), Alexander Tilloch Galt (1817), Joseph P. Kennedy (1888), Jo Anne Worley (1937), Swoosie Kurtz (1944), and Jane Curtin (1947).
On September sixth the pilgrims set sail (1620), the first lighthouse in north America was built (Boston, 1716), the National Black Convention opened (1848), Carnation processed its first can of evaporated milk (1899), Eric Clapton played on the Beatle's "While My Guitar Gently Weeps", and Begin and Sadat met at Camp David (1978).
Night Sky, 9/6: The two brightest stars (not planets) of September evenings are Vega high overhead and Arcturus in the west, both magnitude 0. Draw a line from Vega down to Arcturus. A third of the way down you cross the dim Keystone of Hercules. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max auditioning for The Dark Knight

This Week: Saturday, September 7 – Grandma Moses Day & Neither Snow Nor Rain Day & National Tailgating Day
Night Sky, 9/6: Look left of the gibbous Moon at dusk for Saturn. Below the Moon, can you piece out the Sagittarius Teapot?
Sunday, September 8 – International Literacy Day & Pet Rock Day & Pardon Day
Monday, September 9 – International Buy A Priest A Beer Day
Night Sky: Northern Lights Forecast: https://www.swpc.noaa.gov/products/aurora-3-day-forecast
Tuesday, September 10 – Swap Ideas Day & World Suicide Prevention Day
Night Sky, 9/6: The Southern Taurids are the long-lasting meteor shower that reaches a barely noticeable maximum on 10/10. The shower is active for more than two months but rarely produces more than five shower members per hour, even at maximum activity. The Taurids are rich in fireballs and are often responsible for increased number of fireball reports from September through November.
Wednesday, September 11 – Remember Freedom Day & Libraries Remember Day
Thursday, September 12 – National Day of Encouragement & National Police Woman's Day & Video Games Day
My cat loves long walks, especially when I taken them without him. / The wisdom of Mehitable the Cat by Don Marquis: An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe it.
The difference between Greenland and Moscow Mitch is that Greenland isn't for sale.
..........the temperature's rising, the fever is high.........Cold Turkey …..Plastic Ono Band with Eric Clapton and Ringo Starr
^^ It takes about 2.1 pounds of whole milk to make 1 pound of evaporated milk.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The guy who invented constellations was like “see those 4 stars? That's a bear” and everyone else was just too busy trying to not die from the plague to fight him on it.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week2: It's 97 degrees outside keep your pumpkin spice away from my margarita. --RHWO
Moonbeam: More men die of jealousy than of cancer. --Joseph P Kennedy
Late Night Snacks of the Week: It’s not that the president wasn’t aware of the storm, Drumpf tweeted 122 times about it over the weekend. It’s just that he had no idea what he was talking about; at one point, he even tweeted that Alabama should brace for landfall. The National Weather Service then tweeted a correction, since Alabama was not near the storm’s predicted path. You know things are bad when the National Weather Service has to factcheck the president. --Stephen Colbert / I know we’re used to it by now, but it still amazes me how often the government has to tell you not to pay attention to the president. Drumpf is like your friend who you’re driving home from a wisdom teeth surgery. He’s all drugged up, yelling crazy shit out the next window like: ‘There’s a dragon in the next car!'. --Trevor Noah / What other correction is the government going to have to put out as Drumpf’s brain continues to deteriorate? We’re like a week away from the justice department tweeting: ‘Contrary to the president’s tweet, the Joker is NOT a threat, he’s a character in a movie played by Joaquin Phoenix. There is no evacuation of Gotham under way nor is Gotham a real place.’ --Seth Meyers / Nancy Pelosi today said canceling the military construction projects they’ll now have to cut is going to undermine our national security and the quality of life of our troops, which may be true. But on the other hand, now we’ll have a wall. His Taj Ma-wall. --Jimmy Kimmel
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: ...what the president got really excited about was next year's meeting, which the US is hosting. And it turns out, after a nationwide search of possible venues, amazingly, the best possible choice is a Trump hotel - specifically the Miami Trump Doral golf resort. And among its many advantages, said the president - in addition to having no bedbugs, it has, quote, "lots of parking," unquote. Do not laugh. This is very important to international summitry. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me 8/31/19
Never, for the sake of peace and quiet, deny your own experience or convictions. --Dag Hammarskjold
My cat came home last night all scratched up and ragged. She had even lost her tail. Furtunately, we live near a retail store. / The wisdom of Mehitable the Cat by Don Marquis: The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.
..........Almighty TV plugged, my brid empty brain......The Art of Dying …..Gojira with Eric Clapton and George Harrison
^^^ Gail Borden was a surveyor, inventor, and businessman. After several failed attempts, he finally developed a method to make condensed milk.
Worthless Fact of the Week: Before Jo Anne Worley graced the cast of Laugh-In, she played Myrtle Tarantino on The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The good news is KC is having a “Senior Expo” the bad news is it's being held at the Longview Funeral Home and Cemetery. https://www.facebook.com/events/2351973895019006/
Weird Word of the Week: Gafiate – acronym GAFIA – Getting Away From It All “We heard you'd gafiated.” “Fafiated.” She looked him straight in the eye, daring him to disagree. She hadn’t gotten away from it all; she’d been forced away from it all. --Fallen Angels, by Larry Niven, Jerry Pournelle and Michael Flynn http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-gaf1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove a splinter. Soak the wounded area in Wesson Vegetable Oil for a few minutes to soften the skin before trying to remove the splinter. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wesson.html
Garfield ate a bunch of cheese and then waited for a mouse with baited breath./ The wisdom of Mehitable the Cat by Don Marquis: Life is one damned kitten after another.
...........Let me roll it to you.........I'D Have You Anytime …..George Harrison with Eric Clapton
^^^^ Condensed milk or, more accurately, sweetened condensed milk, is made through a similar process as evaporated milk. The one extra step to the process is adding sugar to it, to sweeten it, obviously. So, you shouldn’t substitute one for the other.
Capitalist Meme of the Week: Capitalist: I pay you as much as I can afford in this economy, nobody's forcing you to stay. Voluntarily associate with someone else if you don't like it. Oh, except union members, socialists, the Poor People's Campaign, Black Lives Matter, Democrats, or communists.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Don't let anyone tell you that standardized tests are not accurate measures. The truth of the matter is they offer a remarkably precise method for gauging the size of the houses near the school where the test is administered. --Alfie Kohn
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Bernie 2020 ...To Boldly Go Where We Should Have Been All Along --Submitted by md of ks
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If Trump gets any more incoherent, the right wing evangelicals will claim he is speaking in tongues. --Submitted by ksz of kc
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Rusty Con 2019 (6-8, Seattle) --the best little gathering this hotel can handle! https://www.rustycon.org/2019/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: 26th Annual NewsMakers in the Biotech Industry: (6, NYC) hand-picked group of public biotech companies whose corporate and regulatory milestones will drive stock prices...https://www.globenewswire.com/news-release/2019/08/12/1900636/0/en/AB-Science-to-present-at-two-upcoming-conferences-in-September-2019-the-NewsMakers-2019-Healthcare-conference-and-the-H-C-Wainwright-Healthcare-Conference.html
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck sleeping under my desk in the case that never happened.

Holly's cat, Cat, always got his way because he was very purrsuasive. Holly used a catacomb to groom him. / The wisdom of Mehitable the Cat by Don Marquis: Fishing: a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.
..........Go down easy and let me take my time.........Roll It Over …..Derek and the Dominos with George Harrison
^^^^^ With more than half the water removed, the texture of evaporated milk is a bit thicker and creamier than fresh milk. That's why it's often used to enhance custards, frozen desserts, pie fillings, and rich sauces. If allowed to freeze slightly, evaporated milk can be whipped into a creamy topping.
Month of the Week: September is Great American Breakfast Month –The French only eat one egg for breakfast because one is enoeuf. / Bacon and Eggs walk into a bar. The bartender takes one look at t hem and says, “Sorry, we don't serve breakfast.”
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A little know fact...Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home. --Submitted by msh of bc
Grammar Joke of the Week: either, “We had to let the n go, he gave us no choice”. ….N
Today's Peace of History, September 6, 1963: Anti-nuclear marchers who began in Glasgow, Scotland, arrived in London and attempted to present a dummy missile to the British Imperial War Museum. ~~Here's a wonderful audio of a bunch of Scots singing Ding Dong Dollar – written for this very march. O the dollars they will jingle, there'll be no a lassie single
Dinah was watching The Sound of Mewsic when Alice came in and tossed a copy of Good Mousekeeping next to her. Dinah pitched a hissy fit until Alice gave her a mice cream cone. / The wisdom of Mehitable the Cat by Don Marquis: Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.
..........Black cat just cross my trail.........I Ain't Superstitious …..Howlin' Wolf with Eric Clapton and Ringo Starr
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle September 6, 2019, Feline ePistle. Love, Laughs, and Cats. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Warning of the Week: Doctors warn that drinking a shot every time Trump lies during his speech could result in death. --Submitted by ma of va
Moonbeam: Don't buy a single vote more than necessary. I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide. --Joseph P. Kennedy
Cost of War:
As of 9/6/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,956,048,895,515.
As of 8/29/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,953,806,010,934.
As of 9/6/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $918,276,067,458.
As of 8/29/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $916,752,432,084.
As of 9/6/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $704,061,445,914.
As of 8/29/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $702,146,014,466.
As of 9/6/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $315,650,352,411.
As of 8/29/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $315,215,051,599.
As of 9/6/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,894,037,751,400.
As of 8/29/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,887,921,896,147.
The more we do, the more we can do. --Dag Hammarskjold
..........I swear to God it's true..........Ain't That Cute …..Doris Troy with Eric Clapton and George Harrison
Crookshank got a job in claw enforcement. He called his house the scratch pad and use to wish Hermione “Mice Day” every morning. / The wisdom of Mehitable the Cat by Don Marquis: Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it.
Famous Last Words: Dowd knew he could not bring himself to say to the president, you’re a [expletive] liar. --Bob Woodward Fear: The Trump White House
May Peace purr for you
And Joy curl up on your lap
prairie mama
christine


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