Famous
First Words: 124 was spiteful. --Toni Morrison Beloved
It
is the Weekend of the Bratwurst Festival in Bucyrus, OH: A man walked
into the library and said to the librarian at the reference desk,
“Two sausages, please”. The reference librarian answered, “Sir,
this is a library.” The man lowered his voice to a whisper and
said, “Sorry. Two sausages, please.”
..........A
long way from my home, yeah.........Richie Havens …..Freedom
~~This weekend marks the 40th anniversary of Woodstock.
Richie Havens opened at 5:07 pm, Friday, August 15th. Freedom
was is final song in the set.
Peace
is the beauty of life. It is sunshine... --Menachem
Begin
It
is a cool (68°F..cool for August, ok?) Friday morning. Immediately
above the sky a pale blue with a smear of white fluff drifting
aimlessly. To the east the clouds have banked up and turned gray;
they are attempting to block the morning sun for a while and keep the
temperature low. There is a light breeze that blows the the willow
branches and the edges of tree branches and can almost be felt on the
temple. But the grass and bush leaves are still and are still
spattered with drops from last night's rain. Birds are flitting
about and are singing matins to the still hidden sun. They offer
counterpoint to the slamming of car doors and the revving of motors.
Puck barks at nothing for a while and then stops to drink at puddles
left curbside. He sniffs a little but the day is young and hasn't
had time to replenish the smells washed away last night. When
Jeffrey turns onto Morningside Drive and calls his name, he pulls me
towards him excitedly and calls to him that we are coming. So we
return to our house, to freshly brewed coffee, sweet and creamy on
the tongue, and to you.
Hope
your weekend is a real banger, ePistliers.
I've
recently developed a paranoia for German sausages. I feel the wurst
is yet to come. / A novel is like a sausage. You may like the final
taste but you don't want to see how it's made. --Harlan Coben
..........Bringing
in a couple of keys.........Arlo Guthrie …..Coming Into Los
Angeles ~~Arlo sang Friday night into Saturday morning.
Trivia
Questions: Good-Bye to the King of Rock and Roll
^
What was Elvis' first number one hit?
^^
Elvis memorized every line from which George C. Scott movie?
^^^
Know the name of Elvis' twin brother who died at birth?
^^^^
How about Elvis' favorite sandwich?
^^^^^
Why was Elvis' home called “Graceland”?
Funniest
Thing I Read of the Week: If you were
surprised by Jeffrey Epstein's suicide today, just imagine how
surprised he was.
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
42% of staplers purchased for the new school year are already
missing. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
I
went to my local hot dog stand and ordered a jumbo sausage. The
waiter said, “They just put a new batch on the grill. It shouldn't
be long.” So, I ordered two. / Litigation: A machine which you go
into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. --Ambrose Bierce
..........Says
Joe, what they can never kill went on to organize.........Joan Baez
…..Joe Hill ~~Joan went on at 12:44 am, Saturday morning. Joe
Hill was mid set.
Moonbeam:
Let it be understood, in the first place, that a science fiction
story must be an exposition of a scientific theme and it must be also
a story. --Hugo
Gernsback
Naturally
Occurring Mandala of the Week: Navel
Big
Hello: Miga –
Teribe (Panama & Costa Rica)
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous. Last night I had to
fold a fitted sheet.
Week
of the Week: It is the week of the
Little League World Series (15-25) – When the littlest Vampire
played Little League he held his bat by the wings. / A Little League
team like a good breakfast chef needs good batters.
I
have developed a phobia of sausages. I fear the wurst. / A highbrow
is the kind of person who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.
--A.P. Herbert
..........There's
plenty good money to be made by supplying the army with the tools of
its trade.........Country Joe and the Fish
…..I-Feel-Like-I'm-Fixin'-To-Die Rag ~~The Fish began playing at 1
pm Saturday afternoon
^
"Heartbreak Hotel" was Elvis' first #1 hit
on the US Billboard pop charts and also earned him his first gold
record. 1956
Almanac:
It is Friday, August 16, 2019. The moon was full (Sturgeon)
yesterday and is in Pisces. It is Bratwurst Festival,
Hug your Boss Day, National Tell A Joke Day, and National Airborne
Day. In Cyprus they celebrate Independence
Day (1960) and in the Dominican Republic it is Restoration Day
(1963). Liechtenstein remembers Prince Franz-Josef II today.
Because it is Friday it is also Hawaii's Admission Day (1959),
Michigan's Montrose-Blueberry Festival, and the Yukon's Klondike Gold
Day (1896).
Among
those born on this day were Amos Alonzo Stagg
(1862), Hugo Gernsback (1884), George Meany (1894), Georgette Heyer
(1902), Franz Josef II (1906), Menachem Begin (1913), Fess Parker
(1925), Robert Culp (1930), Eydie Gorme (1932), Julie Newmar (1935),
Lesley Ann Warren (1946), Kathie Lee Gifford (1953), Madonna (1958),
and Timothy Hutton (1960).
On
August sixteenth gold was discovered in the Klondike (1896), the
roller coaster was patented (1898), Adlai Stevenson was selected as
the Democratic presidential candidate (1956), Elvis was found dead at
Graceland (1977), Madonna married Sean Penn (1985), and the Great
Astrological Harmonic Convergence signaled the dawn of a new age
(1987).
Night
Sky,8/16: The
Great Square of Pegasus lifts up in the east, balancing on one
corner. Its stars are only 2nd and 3rd magnitude, and your fist at
arm's length fits inside it. Late this evening the gibbous Moon rises
below it.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Max auditioning for Newsies
This
Week: Saturday, August 17 –
Black Cat Appreciation Day & Clear the Shelters Day &
National Honey Bee Day
Night
Sky,8/17: The actual Little Dipper is tipping
far over leftward in the north. It's less than half as long as the
Andromegasus Dipper, and most of it is much fainter. As always,
you'll find that it's oriented more than 90° counterclockwise
compared to Andromegasus.
Sunday,
August 18 – Bad
Poetry Day & Serendipity Day
Monday,
August 19 – Aviation Day & World Photo Day & World
Humanitarian Day
Tuesday,
August 20 – National Radio Day &
World Mosquito Day
Wednesday,
August 21 – Poet's Day & National Spumoni Day
Thursday,
August 22 – Be An Angel Day
The
guy asks the clerk for a Polish sausage. The clerk asks if the
gentleman is from Poland. The guy (clearly offended) says, "Well,
yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian
sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for
German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for
a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked
for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? If I asked for some Irish
whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?" The clerk says, "Well,
no, I probably wouldn't." With deep self-righteous indignation,
the guy says, "Well then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish
because I asked for Polish sausage?" The clerk replied,
"Because you're in Home Depot."
..........But
we might even leave the USA.........Canned Heat …..Going Up The
Country ~~7:30 pm Saturday
^^
Elvis
memorized every line from Patton,
the movie for which George C. Scott won the Academy Award for best
actor and famously refused to accept it. 1971
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I signed up for my
company's 401K but I'm nervous cuz I've never run that far before.
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: Over a decade ago,
Epstein avoided serious punishment for several sexual misconduct
charges with an unusually generous plea deal for soliciting
prostitution; he only served 13 months, during which time he got to
leave jail for work six days a week. The prosecutor who brokered his
deal sealed the case, robbing Epstein’s victims of due process.
That, for me, was the conspiracy, and maybe, just maybe, what
happened here is the result of there not being a conspiracy any more,
and Epstein being treated, for the first time, just like everyone
else. --Trevor Noah / Really? That’s your theory? I’m not saying
the Clintons don’t have any power – they could definitely get a
reservation at any restaurant in New York City. But masterminding a
scheme to assassinate a high-profile prisoner in maximum security
federal custody? They couldn’t even ‘mastermind’ a visit to
Wisconsin. --Stephen Colbert
Amazing
Music Thing of the Week:
Butt Music from Hieronymus Bosch. Grad student Amelia transcribed
music that was written on the bare butt of a figure in Bosch's Garden
of Earthly Delights.
Then well-manicured-man turned it into a Gregorian Chant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5lasImOZfQ&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR0XJkK_KcoiZuoBjKINSjOujgBggLeNxiFO_cvfYm5NZ4FGpN_6mY3YPDI
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week: For some
reason, places all over the world are reporting terrible problems
with seagulls this summer. For example, Ocean City in New Jersey had
such a problem with seagulls attacking tourists on the beach to steal
their food that they have imported falcons. Because nothing bad could
ever happen by setting a worse animal free to control a less worse
animal. But don't worry. Don't worry. If the falcon population
becomes an issue, the natural predator of falcons are panthers.
--Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
8/10/19
...(Peace)
It is the smile of a child, the love of a mother, the joy of a
father, the togetherness of a family. --Menachem
Begin
The
Jungle by Upton Sinclair exposed
the horrible conditions in the meat packing industry. The novel goes
from bad to wurst. / I think it's odd when people say jeans are
comfortable, because to me, they feel like sausage casings. --Katie
Lee
..........One
of the mornings you're gonna rise, rise up singing.........Janis
Joplin …..Summertime ~~Janis began her set at 2 am on Sunday
^^^
Elvis
Presly's twin brother, Jesse
Garon Presley,
was stillborn. Elvis grew up as an only child.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: The Harmonic Convergence is
the name given to one of the world's first globally synchronized
meditation events, which occurred on August 16–17, 1987. This event
also closely coincided with an exceptional alignment of planets in
the Solar System.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Some
call it multi-tasking, I call it doing something else while I try to
remember what I was doing in the first place. --eg of mt
Eagles
Joke of the Week: Hotel California: Basically a
negative Yelp review with a 2 minute guitar solo.
Weird
Word of the Week:
Domotics – the application of “intelligent” technology to make
a home more comfortable and convenient.
http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-dom1.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Oil wooden spoons, cutting boards, and butcher block. Put Wesson
Vegetable Oil on a Bounty paper towel, rub it into the wood, then
wipe clean. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wesson.html
Bratwursts
all look alike because they're in bread. / Even hot dogs are shocked
when they find out how they're made. / Our company sells about five
to six million pounds of sausage a year. --Earl Campbell
...........One
pill makes you larger.........Jefferson Airplane …..White Rabbit
~~The Airplane played at 7 am Sunday
^^^^
Presley's
legendary love for "peanut
butter and 'nanner sandwiches"
probably helped lead to his oversized waistline toward the end of his
life.
Anteprepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm
writing about all the things I ought to do before I die. It's my
oughtobiography. --Submitted by msh of bc
Prepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Steal
a man's wallet and he'll be poor for a week. Teach him music and how
to buy instruments and he will be poor his entire life. --Submitted
by cj of ks
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
wish I was the person I thought I could be when I bought all this
produce. --Submitted by sd of ks
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
Alien XPO 2019 (16-18, Knoxville, TN) –The invasion is coming. Got
your pass? https://www.alienxpo.com/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
IASE Satellite to World Statistics Conference (13-16, Kuala Lumpur)
Decision Making Based on Data
https://iase-web.org/conference/satellite19/
Puck
the Brave
Episode of the Week:
Here's partner, Justice, climbing Mount Lazy Boy in the case of the
Climbing
Collie. ~~while Puck slept under my desk
Family
members have told me to cut out the sausage puns, they're the wurst /
Sausage Sayings:Spiel
nicht die beleidigte Leberwurst – Don’t act like an insulted
liverwurst!
..........Lend
me your ears and I'll sing you a song.........Joe Cocker …..With A
Little Help From My Friends ~~Cocker ended his set with Friends at
around 3:20 pm Sunday
^^^^^
The
name "Graceland" came with the mansion, from the days when
it was originally
used as a church.
Month
of the Week: August is National Traffic
Awareness Month –Got a new job as a traffic warden, and started
basic training. Thought to myself, “that's just the ticket.”
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Ben
Carson: Shattering stereotypes about brain surgeons being smart.
--Submitted by ma of va
Grammar
Joke of the Week: !: Must you question everything! ?: Why are
you always yelling?
Today's
Peace of History, August
16, 1963:
Buddhists staged protests across South Vietnam against the government
of President Ngo Dinh Diem, a Catholic who removed Buddhists from
important government positions and replaced them with Catholics.
Don't
you know worst wurst is a terrible pun? No, but if you hum a few
bars, I'll fake it. / Sausage Sayings: Es hat alles
ein Ende, nur die Wurst hat zwei – Everything has an end; only a
sausage has two.
..........Sweeping
cobwebs from the edges of my mind.........Crosby, Still, & Nash
…..Marrakesh Express ~~ CSN finally got on stage at 3 am Monday
morning. CSN claimed it was the first time they had ever performed
in public.
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle August 16, 2019, Encased ePistle. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Peace and Laughs and Charcuterie. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith.
2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam:
Labor never quits. We never give up the fight – no matter how
tough the odds, no matter how long it takes. --George
Meany
Cost
of War:
As
of 8/15/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,949,856,195,034.
As
of 8/8/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,947,892,957,974.
As
of 8/15/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $914,067,240,156.
As
of 8/8/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $912,733,458,463.
As
of 8/15/Interest on War Debt since 2001: $698,770,139,844.
As
of 8/8/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $697,093,622,774.
As
of 8/159 Veterans Care since 2001: $314,447,732,871.
As
of 8/8/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $314,066,747,482.
As
of 8/15/Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,877,142,064,975.
As
of 8/8/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,871,035,102,045.
(Peace)
It is the advancement of man, the victory of a just cause, the
triumph of truth. --Menachem
Begin
..........way
down south to Mexico way.........Jimi Hendrix …..Hey, Joe ~~This
Jimi's encore was the last song played at the festival.
We're
going to our neighbors for a cookout featuring hamburgers and German
sausage. He's not very good at grilling so while I'm hoping for the
best, I'm prepared for the wurst. / Frankly, I don't find these are
funny at all.
Famous
Last Words: ...keep Barber vote Democratic. --Adlai Stevenson
Acceptance Speech 1956 Democratic Convention
May
Peace case your work
And
Joy spice your meat
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
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